Youth is Wasted on the Young

Sex, Drugs, & Rock 'N Roll

Marit Parten Season 1 Episode 1

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0:00 | 27:32

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In their debut episode, Marit and Sonja kick off Youth Is Wasted on the Young with the Double D (Dialogue and Discussion) segment on sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll, comparing what each generation actually thought and lived through versus what gets assumed about them. 

Thirty-seven years apart and completely unfiltered, they dig into where the generational gap is real, where it's overblown, and where a mother and daughter surprise each other (rarely).

Introduction

SPEAKER_00

Hi everyone, welcome to Youth is Wasted on the Young. I'm Sonia.

SPEAKER_01

And I'm Marit.

SPEAKER_00

This is our podcast where we talk about everything from periods and menopause, acne and wrinkles, sex or lack thereof, friendships, divorce, dating, and whatever else we two young women who are a staggering 37 years apart refuse to shut up out.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, youth is most certainly wasted on the young. A little opening disclaimer for us: this podcast contains a teenager, soon to be adult, but still, right now, a teenager. No fathers were harmed or consulted in the making of this show. With 99% custody and four years as a party of two, we hereby grant ourselves full permission to say whatever we want. You're welcome. Okay, so

Double D: Rock & Roll

SPEAKER_01

we are gonna start each podcast with a segment called Double D. It's gonna be a little dialogue and discussion. And I'm gonna choose the first topic. Sorry, Sonia. Sorry, not sorry.

SPEAKER_00

New topic each week.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Okay, so here's today. We're gonna talk about sex, drugs, and rock and roll, baby.

SPEAKER_00

Heavy hitters.

SPEAKER_01

Totally. So I'm gonna let you start out with any of the three words that you would like to. Sex or drugs or rock and roll, but we're gonna cover them all. So shoot from the hip, baby.

unknown

Go.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I feel like we have to start with the most tame one of rock and roll.

SPEAKER_01

Press on. I mean, I have to say, in my very humble opinion, you guys have you three kids, have pretty awesome music taste. And I so attribute it to myself and my great taste. Because you do know all the old school stuff.

SPEAKER_00

This is true.

SPEAKER_01

I can't send you off to college and have no knowledge of true old school rock and roll. I mean, come on, don't you when you're with your friends, don't you feel like you've got the most soulful appetite?

SPEAKER_00

Thousand percent. I do feel that also the the culture of rock and roll, the culture of what embodies sex, drugs, and rock and roll has been lost in the modern era.

SPEAKER_01

Say more.

SPEAKER_00

I think that young kids my age, Gen Z, are so wrapped up in popularity and looks and materialistic things that the essence of expression, art, music is dying out. And I think that's increasing with AI as well.

SPEAKER_01

100%. I would agree with that. I mean, I don't know because I'm not obviously your generation, but I do see it with you guys, and it kind of kills my heart because oh my god, if I could just go back to making mixtapes and pressing stop and record and play, waiting until the DJ or was it a DJ? It was, yeah, a DJ. I was thinking VJ, no, that was MTV. Um, the DJ would stop talking. I'd be like, as soon as they say their last breath, you push record and you wait that out. You can spend an entire weekend making a mixtape for your friend, and God were those valuable. And now you guys do what?

SPEAKER_00

Throw together some playlists, share them, do Spotify jams. It's all very convenient.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and there's no work put into it. Yep. God, I wish you guys could have to go back. I wish you had to go and have some critical thinking.

SPEAKER_00

It's just I know. That is, I think this is a whole other topic, but I think the convenience of the modern era is strategic, complacent, and we're dumbing down.

SPEAKER_01

Dumbing down.

SPEAKER_00

As a society, we are all dumbing down. Even the smartest of us living in the Bay Area, you see the smartest of the smart. And even that is dumbing down.

SPEAKER_01

Robots, the laziest of the lazy.

SPEAKER_00

Lack of critical thinking skills, lack of self-reliance, competence, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Creativity.

SPEAKER_00

So creativity is a big one.

SPEAKER_01

Which is why I have you strapped down here on a chair talking to me. Because I want your brain to start working.

SPEAKER_00

Stimulate the brain folds.

SPEAKER_01

Right, with a pen and paper.

SPEAKER_00

That is true. That is true.

SPEAKER_01

Right? Memorize it that way. Okay, we're off topic. Okay. Sex drugs, rock and roll. But rock and roll. So what was your favorite looking back, your favorite band? The album you wouldn't always go back to.

SPEAKER_00

Always go back to. Um. That's hard. There are so many amazing ones. I think if we're going with the genre of more rock, then I would say What's the Story More and Glory by Oasis?

SPEAKER_01

Ah, yeah, but you only recently started listening to that.

SPEAKER_00

But that's just like every song on that album is heavy hitting it. Solid.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, you're gonna ask me what mine is?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, what's yours?

SPEAKER_01

Okay, and it I think it was like before Alternative was alternative, so but I'm still gonna call it rock and roll. Hands down, the early stuff by REM.

SPEAKER_00

REM, okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Fables of Reconstruction, Reckoning, Murmur, all those old albums. Solid. So good. Michael Stipe will always be my fave.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um, okay, and also though, concerts, you go to a ton of concerts.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna have it concert goer. You're the one who got me into that.

SPEAKER_01

Wow, all the good things about your life come from me.

SPEAKER_00

But I will say that is a very expensive hobby. I mean, you can't even call it a hobby. Yeah, it's a pastime to enjoy.

SPEAKER_01

We have a couple coming up.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I've been to many, many good ones.

SPEAKER_01

I'm seeing Patty LaBelle this weekend, then we're going next weekend, we're going to see Goose at Frost.

SPEAKER_00

I'm seeing Al Green, courtesy of me.

SPEAKER_01

Al Green with the Glide Chorus, Glide Church chorus. That is gonna be amazing. Okay, let's press on. So we did rock and roll. What do you want to cover next? Sex or drugs? Um maybe I can start.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, go ahead.

Double D: Drugs

SPEAKER_01

Drugs. Drugs. No white drugs, girl.

SPEAKER_00

No white drugs.

SPEAKER_01

You know how I feel about drugs. The most I've done have come from the ground. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Me too.

SPEAKER_01

Really?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Never done co care one. No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Oh no. Let's keep it that way. Let's keep it that way. Okay, but so what do you think your generation drugs right now?

SPEAKER_00

I feel like we should start with what your generation did, because I think it all comes back. Very full circle moment, especially right now.

SPEAKER_01

Weed, when I was in college, high school was not what it is today. Yes. We would smoke rocks and sticks and whatever was in a bag. Now THC is out of control.

SPEAKER_00

I agree.

SPEAKER_01

Cannabis is uh oh god, do I regret, do I regret voting to legalize it in California anywhere? It's so out of hand and it is so, I don't care what people say, it's so addictive.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I think a big thing with that as well is it's been a purposeful increase. The the potency of weed, cannabis, THC, whatever you want to call it, has been purposefully increased. Oh, for sure. By not just the tenfold, like the thousandfold compared to what Bob Marley was smoking back in the day when weed was like a chill, normal sort of thing, is it's astronomically different than what they put in freaking carts nowadays.

SPEAKER_01

No, you're right. I didn't mean to downplay it. You're you're totally right.

SPEAKER_00

And it's a whole different playing field.

SPEAKER_01

The strains, I mean, my god, look at the weed shops around here. It is insanity. It's like a candy shop. And I think it's totally out of control. I think that it's mind-altering. I think that it makes people complacent and creativity is going on.

SPEAKER_00

I think it's the exact same thing as technology. It's it's a it's all a ploy to dumb us down. Because it really does like it puts you in an altered state. And the problem with those drug, well, especially weed, is those neural pathways, as we know, that are firing constantly. It's you know, they stay the same. They stay in that anxiety-ridden or confused gray area of life. And then overprocessing, overanalyzing, it becomes a over reliance, yeah. It becomes a whole changes your perspective on the world.

SPEAKER_01

100%. And the effectiveness of just getting shit done is not happening.

SPEAKER_00

And it makes you fat.

SPEAKER_01

I have a friend who says she is absolutely adamant about the fact that you can curb your appetite. It's all in your head that you're not actually hungry.

SPEAKER_00

Well, you I I I agree to that in some extent, but you know what's Do you have experience from this?

SPEAKER_01

You agree?

SPEAKER_00

Huh? Well, it's all mental. Yeah. I think a lot I think a lot of things are mental. I mean, what are freaking what's Ozempic? It's gralin and leptin blockers, you know? It's like a neural thing. It blocks your hunger sensors.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so you seem to know a a whole lot about a lot at 17. Why is this that you have such vast knowledge?

SPEAKER_00

I'm a genius.

SPEAKER_01

How much time do you spend on the IG?

SPEAKER_00

The IG. Good amount. But my IG is all funny.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so where's this deep scientific knowledge coming from?

SPEAKER_00

School. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, there's no way you guys are talking about this in school.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. In psych, yeah. In psych. That's I mean it's that's yeah. I mean, I think it's common knowledge, but I think it's if you can put two and two together, you can take what you've learned about things in school, unfortunately, and apply it to real life.

SPEAKER_01

Is this why you got into UCSD?

SPEAKER_00

I I got into UCSD as airball.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, let's bring it back. Living here in San Francisco now, there is an abundance of evolution. Well, yeah, but it's more than it's more than cannabis. It's it's a little bit of everything and it's And it's everything mixed together. Right. And you don't know what you're getting.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So I think that has changed a lot from my generation to yours.

SPEAKER_00

Would you say that accessibility?

SPEAKER_01

I don't know because I'm not trying to access it.

SPEAKER_00

I'm not trying to think it was a lot harder back then, right? Oh, for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, you guys can go and get a gun and any drugs you want in probably 15 minutes if you wanted it.

SPEAKER_00

Uh yeah, I agree. It's too easy. Right? Convenience. Everything's easy.

SPEAKER_01

And how easy was it for you to get your fake ID?

SPEAKER_00

Extremely easy. What'd you pay? $99.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, this is a problem. I mean, w admittedly, when I went into college, I had four fake IDs. They were all other people's, and most of them had expired. But back in the day, back in my day, in the early 90s, we had really bad fake IDs, but nobody seemed to care as much because the abuse wasn't as high. Um, now everything is just so much more dangerous. Everything. Volumes are higher, and the combination of the drugs and the alcohol are higher. Yeah, it's a serious problem. And we see it on our streets, and it's really heartbreaking, especially around San Francisco. I implore anyone driving through the city to get in and out, especially going south. You're headed out of the city and you're going to SFO, go through the tenderloin. Don't avoid it. Don't take off in Franklin. Go straight down. Polk or hide or any of the Civic Center tenderloin areas because everyone should see what's happened to our society and how people are treated. And almost run over on the streets, dying on the streets, found dead. It's horrific. And we have got to stop treating humans like they are dead squirrels. Yeah, the drug epidemic is out of control, and it's absolutely heartbreaking.

SPEAKER_00

And it's also astounding to me the irony of the wealth that is amassed in this area, and the drug abuse, and the fact that people drive by in their hundred thousand dollar cars wearing their Louis Buton shoes and all their Patagonia vests. The tech bro, the tech bro uniforms their tech bro jobs. And all of this money could be used to actually help people. Yet none of it is.

SPEAKER_01

Yet these wealthy founders are giving trophies to Trump. So yeah. It's just absurd. Okay, let's move on because I don't want to get into politics right now because my blood will start to boil. Yes.

Double D: Sex

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Um sex.

SPEAKER_00

Heavy hitter.

SPEAKER_01

Always. Okay, so you can decide how much you want to disclose. But as you do know, I am far too young to be a grandma.

SPEAKER_00

This is true.

SPEAKER_01

Which I have impressed upon all three of you kids. I will be a stellar grandma, but I don't want to be one for another, I would say, 30 years. No, I'm kidding. Give it five to ten.

SPEAKER_00

I would say that out of any of your children, I am the one you have to worry about the least. Giving you children. Okay. I have no interest in that whatsoever.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, it's gonna come back and bite you. This is your corner.

SPEAKER_00

Sure, sure.

SPEAKER_01

So good.

SPEAKER_00

Told a lot of my friends the same thing. I do not want kids.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so why do you not want kids? Is it because of the world in which we're living in and things looking at the future and just say more about that.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. A lot of those reasons. I think that if I were to have kids, I would want to adopt them. And that is in and of itself, that's a also hard, hard thing to do. But I think that the guilt of bringing people into this world when overpopulation is already so extreme. It's just not necessary. Seems cruel in a way. Okay. You know, when you could, with your resources, give a better life to a child.

SPEAKER_01

I love that. I love that. I love that. Um, how about the fact that the world feels pretty dark and grim, climate change, things like that? Does that come into play?

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah, definitely. I don't want to be a pessimist, but especially in America, there is not good policy looking towards the future of our globe and the future of humanity as an entirety. So I don't see myself wanting to contribute to that and putting a child of my own blood in this world to just suffer and have to deal with the consequences of our actions that we still have yet to fix.

SPEAKER_01

100%. Okay, well, I could deal without having grandkids for the fact that I worry so much about you three. You don't need more anxiety. So much about you three that I can't even imagine uh yeah, laying onto that. But I would be thrilled. My sister will soon be a grandmother and she's over the moon.

SPEAKER_00

Well, you kids be a grandauntie.

SPEAKER_01

That's true.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, I feel like we've been very negative. So sex.

SPEAKER_01

Um, let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad Okay, let's talk about protection, S T. Now they're I's not D's, S T I's, S T Ds, whatever. Um, let's talk about that. Protection.

SPEAKER_00

Use a condom, wrap it before you tap it.

SPEAKER_01

No love, no love. Okay, so as I impressed upon you just recently, when you had a friend come over that was a male and you were watching TV late at night, and I went to bed. I left you a little gift knowing you were both coming back. Do you want to talk about that loving gift I gave you?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, it was beautiful. I I walk in, look at the little ottoman, and placed on the ottoman is a Bible with a note on top and a condom on the side. Note saying, This is your grandfather's parchment paper. He is watching down on you and your decisions. Save room for Jesus. And I am way too young to be a grandmother. So that's my mother, guys. Did that work out okay? It worked out great. The condom was not used because that's weird. I have some class. Thank God. And did you read the Bible? I did not read the Bible. I haven't read a Bible since I was. Remember that photo of me?

SPEAKER_01

You took both the Bible and the Book of Mormon from the Marriott Hotel and you would sit on the toilet reading it upside down as a toddler.

SPEAKER_00

That's class.

SPEAKER_01

Those were some of my favorite memories. Yeah. Yeah, good stuff, good stuff. And I think you did have some great stories you told Grandpa about different Bible verses that made I have a great question.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Growing up religious for you, was sex a very shamed topic? Oh my god. Were you expected to save yourself from marriage?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, I think it was implied, but I don't know if it was spoken, but I will say that there was an immense amount of guilt and shame wrapped up in it. Yeah. Absolutely. And when I did lose my virginity, I felt so horribly guilty. And I think that I felt horribly guilty about sex. Honestly, up until after my divorce. And I've been divorced now ten years now. It's been a really big, I guess, process for me to go through and grow through about the shame and guilt of sex from my religious upbringing.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That doesn't come as a huge shocker to me, but there is a bit of a shock factor just because I think that the way that you raised us, and I'm sure that my sister would concur, that it was never a crazy thing, you know? It was always just like that's a part of life. It's not the end of the world. Woe is me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, no, I made a very conscious decision to talk about everything, anything and everything with you guys. All of them. Open book. You ask me, tell me, you tell me where to go, and you don't want me to know. But yeah, I want to talk about everything because I felt um, I probably could have talked to my mom about more things, but I was probably embarrassed and felt guilt and shame. Later on, before she died, you know, after I got married and had two kids, I talked to her about more things. But it was, you know, it wasn't like that when I was your age. We did not. I just felt such shame. And I I probably put on myself for sure. I don't think my mom did. My dad definitely, it was like maple syrup of guilt on me. So I wouldn't probably have talked to him. Yeah. Very different upbringing. I made a I made a lot of rather calculated decisions on raising you guys without religion and without shame and guilt because you get enough of it from society.

SPEAKER_00

I I agree with that, unfortunately. That is a big, big part, and women are shamed so much regarding sex and children and all of the above.

SPEAKER_01

Right. Okay, I'm gonna only say, I'm gonna be very careful not to throw your dad under the bus, but having girl, boy, girl, when Nate was born, I remember very vividly your dad holding him as a baby. And maybe it was he wasn't a newborn because he was a really furry, not very attractive baby. But when he got to be a cuter baby a couple months in, I remember your dad looking at him and saying, Boy, you're really good looking, you're gonna get a lot of box. And I thought, first of all, that's disgusting. And secondly, can you imagine saying something like that about your daughters? Wow, you're beautiful, you're gonna get laid a lot. I mean, it just was so appalling to me. And so societally, that really, that really was hard to hear. And I remember turning it back on him about you girls. Well, you weren't born yet, but yeah, it's crazy, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And I think it's yeah, it's it's so parallel to oh she was drunk as an excuse for why, or uh reasoning for why things like sexual assault and rape happen, and then oh, he was drunk, that's an excuse for horrible actions, you know.

SPEAKER_01

She put herself in that position.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. She was wearing this. Oh, he had a hard day. Oh, she didn't say no. Like, it's the same thing of men coming out on top being totally fine, and women always getting the blame pushed on them.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I will say there's a million things I've done wrong as a parent, and I look back at things that I oh, so many things I've said, especially to you girls, where I'm like, God, why did I say that I wanted to get back? But I remember when Amelia was in middle school, there was this big protest from these sixth, seventh, and eighth grade girls that they should be able to wear leggings. So that was that's when leggings were really popular. And the I don't know if it was the administration or teachers or whomever wanted the girls to stop wearing leggings to school because it was inappropriate. And at first I was like, yeah, you know, maybe they shouldn't. Well, why the hell should they not? It's their body. So it was just really interesting. I remember there's this big protest, and the girls were like, everyone wear leggings. Just every if they say no, keep wearing them. And it's that same concept of if you had big breasts, and this was when I was a kid, it still is. If you have big breasts, you shouldn't wear clothes that are too revealing because you make other people uncomfortable. Screw you. This is my body. I'm gonna wear whatever I want. So I do love and applaud your generation. You guys do not give a shit. You guys go out there, I mean, I probably inappropriately, but have said far too many times, hey, your shorts should be longer than your vagina. I mean, there are some up the butt shorts that I think are kind of nasty, but you know, that my bottom out choice. But I just can't believe that I went along with the maybe you shouldn't wear leggings when Amelia was in middle school. It's like, oh my God, wear whatever you want. And if the boys have a problem and the teachers have a problem and they can't look away, then let's address that. Because that's the bottom line issue throughout. That's the through line as far dress codes in in the rape culture.

SPEAKER_00

So 100%.

SPEAKER_01

God, did we cover sex? Kinda.

SPEAKER_00

Kind of.

SPEAKER_01

I think we covered we we tapped in, man.

SPEAKER_00

It's a big topic.

SPEAKER_01

It is. Okay. So let's let's move on to our our end game. All right. We're gonna end each segment, or this will be our final segment of the first session. Um episode? Episode. Episode. Word

Word Up

SPEAKER_01

up. We're gonna play a game called Word Up, Sonya. Yeah. Today I get to choose a word.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

I'm gonna say the word.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

And you have to think about it for a quick second, hot second. Can't take too much time. And then you have to tell me what comes top of mind. Okay? Word or topic. And you can choose it next time. Okay. Bangs or no bangs.

SPEAKER_00

This is a very personal topic to me because I do have bangs. I think they're awesome. I think that they can help with confidence. I think it's a stylistic choice. I think that there are a lot of maintenance and they are a pain in the ass, but they're also a great way of elevating your hair, however you want to style it. Do your looks as you will. I think that it's a great form of expression. And it's hair, it grows back. Do what you want. I think bangs are a lot of times shamed in a way or sexualized for making women look younger and innocent. And I think that that whole stereotype and argument needs to be eradicated. But I think bangs are a wonderful thing. I say yes bangs.

SPEAKER_01

Yes to bangs? Okay. They're a lot of upkeep. I have curly hair, I can't do bangs. If I if I do bangs, it's it looks absurd because I'd have to straighten them. Yeah. But I if I did not have curly hair, hands down, I'd be a bang proponent. So yeah, I'd be all in. Okay, let's end with this. We didn't do much of an introduction, but I would say just to finalize what we're doing here, single mom. I have three kids. Sonia and I have been living together alone for four and a half years. Um, and we're kind of bookending our female experience. We're 37 years apart. I am preparing to be an empty nester for the first time. Uh, the only thing I will be taking care of is myself, which is really terrifying because I don't know what that's gonna look like. I have a shit ton of plants, like too many, too many plants. So I'm just gonna focus on keeping them alive. But my baby's launching. She's going. I'm super excited for her. So this is gonna be a really interesting chapter three in life. Chapter really one for you. Like this is your this is your start of the end. Don't say that. It's the start of everything, it's so exciting. I'm gonna live vicariously through you. I just, oh my God. I don't want to make college too much of a hype because then there's always disappointment. Freshman year is so hard. It's you think you're at camp and it's so great and nobody cares, and then you realize how homesick you are, and then I'm not projecting, but I am. And then there are times where you just think, why did I choose a school? And it's way too big, it's way too small, it's way too this. My roommate sucks. I love my roommate, she isn't like me. All of these things just they just flood over you, and it's such a learning curve. It's the biggest, though, I think the next biggest is when you graduate from college or you're out of school and you're actually on your own making your own money, and you have to actually pay for things like your own rent and your own gas and electric and your own water and buy your own groceries. I mean, you got the cooking thing down and all that kind of stuff, and you are kind of like a 40-year-old woman from birth, but when you have to actually fund it all, oh my God, it's so much different. But I know with full confidence that you are gonna fly, and I'm super excited to be the wind beneath your wings as you as you soar.

Outro

SPEAKER_01

But um, super excited to do this with you, Sonia. I know that I twisted your arm and you've put it off for a long time, but today you had nothing to do, and therefore we launch.

SPEAKER_00

This is true. Yep.

SPEAKER_01

All right, well, thank you for joining us for Youth is Wasted on the Young. And we hope you'll join in another time. Take care.