Caregiving & Conversations
Caregiving is one of life's greatest acts of love, but it's also one of its greatest challenges. This is a space where caregivers, families, and professionals come together for honest conversations, practical resources, and heartfelt stories that remind you that you're not alone.
Caregiving & Conversations
S1E3: Constant Companion!
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Lisa Roddy is the founder and owner of Constant Companion, a premier senior concierge and companion service dedicated to enhancing the quality of life for older adults and providing peace of mind for their families.
With years of experience in customer service, leadership, and firsthand caregiving, Lisa brings both professional expertise and personal compassion to every client relationship. After serving as a caregiver for her mother, who lived with dementia for more than a decade, Lisa gained a deep understanding of the challenges families face while caring for aging loved ones. That experience inspired her to create Constant Companion—a service designed to bridge the gap between traditional home care and genuine companionship.
Constant Companion provides personalized concierge services including companionship, transportation, appointment assistance, errands, wellness check-ins, and lifestyle support, allowing seniors to maintain their independence while remaining connected, engaged, and cared for.
Welcome to Caregiving and Conversations, Miss Tif Unfiltered. Lisa, how are you?
SPEAKER_03I am well. You are well. All right.
SPEAKER_01All right. So we have a guest today. We have Lisa Roddy here with us. She is the founder and the owner of Constant Companion, a premier senior concierge and companion service dedicated to enhancing the quality of life for older adults and providing peace of mind for their families. With years of experience in customer service, leadership, and first-hand caregiving, Lisa brings both professional expertise and personal compassion to every client relationship. After serving as a caregiver for her mother, who lived with dementia for more than a decade, Lisa gained a deep understanding of the challenges families face while caring for aging loved ones. That experience inspired her to create Constant Companion, a service designed to bridge the gap between traditional home care and genuine companionship. Constant Companion provides personalized concierge services, including companionship, transportation, appointment assistance, errands, wellness check-ins, and lifestyle support, allowing seniors to maintain their independence while remaining connected, engaged, and cared for. Lisa, girl, why didn't you have this when I was doing um caregiving full time? I needed it for myself.
SPEAKER_03Because as you know, we both know that is a hard road to travel down. And and people, you know, people just unless you have been there, you cannot fully understand the caregiver role. You just cannot.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna go ahead and agree with you 100% on that. But before we jump in, there's something that I there's something that I like to do. I call it a two-word check-in. And so that's just two words of how you are feeling because a lot of times people ask, How are you? and we give the standard, I'm fine. So today I'm gonna start out just so you can follow my lead. Um, my two-word check-in today is overwhelmed and blessed. I am overwhelmed, I just have so many things going on right now, good things, um, but it is overwhelming, but I don't want that to be like overpowering over the blessed because I am blessed that I am busy and I have all these things. Although, and and we all know two things can be true at one time, and overwhelmed and blessed are my two words for today. So, how about you? What are your two words for today?
SPEAKER_03Yes, my two words are stressed. Yes, I am stressed a little bit, um, but same as you. I I am blessed because I'm blessed that I have a job, I'm not necessarily struggling, you know, we all have the struggle, but I'm blessed that I'm able to get up, go to work in my right mind. You know, yeah, the body is a little, you know, but my two words stressed but blessed.
SPEAKER_01All right. I like that. I like that because again, two things can be true at once. Yes, ma'am. So we're just gonna jump in first. Um I just want to talk to you a little about your mom. Um, because I know that you were a caregiver for your mom um who has passed away. So again, I'm sorry to hear that. Um but before we go down that dark road of caregiving, I just want you to paint a picture of your mother before she became ill, but paint the picture of who she was as you're describing it to someone who never knew her.
SPEAKER_03Yes, she was she was very funny, you know, and it's like you don't realize a lot of things about your mother until you are an adult, you know, because when you're younger, you're like, this is my mom, she doesn't tell me what to do, you know. But she she was very funny, you know, she was not one of those parents that saw, oh, the love, you know, huggy, lovey, doggone. You know, we that's how we grew up, you know, but and which is fine. That's who she was. She was there, she was very present, you know. She was one of the moms, she got it, you know, and I could talk to her. She was always my biggest supporter, always anything you know, I would tell her that I'd go, Oh, oh yeah, oh yeah. So she was my biggest supporter, and that's what I miss now.
SPEAKER_01Okay, all right. Were you a mama's girl? Yes, yes, now do you have other siblings?
SPEAKER_03Yes, I have a younger sister.
SPEAKER_01Okay, all right. So it was just the two of you. Yes, the two of us. All right, got it. Yeah, my mom's funny, she still is, you know. She'll say something, and I'm like, what what what did that come from?
SPEAKER_03Yes, yes, yeah, that's so funny how, like I said, as an adult, you you see more of their personality, you know, because you're looking at them differently now, because you know, you're grown, you've grown, you're an adult now, you're living life experience, and then it's so you're your relationship.
SPEAKER_01Yes, absolutely. Um, so what is one lesson that your mother taught you that still guides you to today?
SPEAKER_03She there was something that happened way, way back when, and she was like, you know, basically the bottom line was just don't let people take advantage of you.
SPEAKER_01That's a great lesson.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Because, you know, when we're young and we're growing up and we're being people pleasers, because I realize a lot of us did that, especially when it came to men. You know, we're people pleasing, we're trying to because it's like, you know, we want to show, hey, our worth, but it's like no, no, no, yeah, yeah. But that was the thing, is like, you know, don't don't let people, you know, take advantage of you, you know, stand up for yourself.
SPEAKER_01So how were you how were you able to apply? Don't be a people pleaser with caregiving, because caregiving is about serving and doing. So how are you, or were you able? Maybe I should, maybe I should back up. Were you able to differentiate between the two?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, because it's a little bit different. Um, you know, with her, it was like because you know, she's my mom, and I'm like, I'm doing any and everything that I can to take care of her, to make her happy, and I had no problem with that at all because, like I said, she was my biggest supporter, always, you know, there, willing to help, and always just being there for me. She would know when I was stressed and something was going on, and she would come to me, and you know, we're talking, and then I'm crying because she at her as my mother, she knew when you know, they know when something's going on, uh-huh. They just know that, and it's like you kind of feel that relief, you know, that burden off of your shoulder because like mom is here, she's willing to take on that, you know, or to help you to get through whatever it is.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. Um, what is it? Mother's intuition, mother's know that discernment. Um, and and that has probably been one of the hardest things for me, is because my mom was my biggest, is still my biggest supporter. Her support looks a little looks a lot different. Um, but just knowing um that that support was there, just yes, that's that thing that still keeps me going, is because I know my mom um is cheering me on, even though she may not understand what's going on. But she's happy for you because you're her baby. Yep, yep, yep. Um I have I have two brothers, um, but I was the only girl, so I am my mama's baby girl. Yes, yes. Even even look, even at my big old age, I'm still my mama's baby girl.
SPEAKER_04Always, always.
SPEAKER_01So, was there a moment that you can recall when you started noticing the shift from being her daughter to the caregiver? And how were you dealing with that? What kind of emotional was that for you?
SPEAKER_03Yes, girl get the tissue, girl, get the tissue because that that is a hard transition. Um but going from that character to into that character, it just started slowly because in the beginning, I think that you you think, oh, she's okay. Oh, this is just an off moment. This was just something, you know. So it's like, oh, okay, you know, I'll just do this, or I'll I'll put this in the I'll throw the trash away. I'll do you know, so it's gradual into that role, and then you know, there's that moment like you're asking about where you're full-bone caregiver, and going into that role is like, wow, now I've got to take care of her, which I have absolutely no problem with doing, but you know, then there are others that you know they're like, Well, I don't want to do this.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's it's it's definitely um a calling, it's it's not something that you could just be like, yeah, this is I just do it. It's it's it's either in you or it's not, right?
SPEAKER_03It's it's whether it's and even when you have siblings, it's not always in them to take on that role. Everybody, I think, has a different role. Uh but mine was definitely caregiver for my mom. And I mean I took it on fully.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. So did you like growing up, were you always that go-to person? Were you always like the babysitter, the the caring for of your friends? Because we all have like roles within our friends. Were you that person? And are you still that person?
SPEAKER_03I am. I don't know. You know, I said maybe that's why it took me long to get to this point. This is what God has me doing, because people even at work now, that's I think why I feel stressed a little bit, because they're coming to me not only with just work stuff, but with personal life situations. And it's like, oh well, this and this and and I'm like, what do you want me to do?
SPEAKER_00Like, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03And I I I a lot of the younger ones though, I've kind of taken on that role, not necessarily willingly, but they come to me and you know, just you know, wanting feedback or just some type of it's gonna be okay, do this, this, and this, and take it one day at a time. You know, I think we all need that. We do, we we all need that, but it's about coming and wanting and asking for the help.
SPEAKER_01So now let so now let me ask you a question then. So if you are that person, who do you turn to?
SPEAKER_03Right. Uh oh because see you have intention going and asking for help when I'm feeling like so overwhelmed, or I I just don't want to anymore. I don't wanna I don't want to talk, I don't want to do anything, I just want to be. It's like then I shut down. I just shut down, I'm here. Sometimes I the entire weekend, I'm not out of the house. Um you know, but that's not good.
SPEAKER_01Well, well, well. Sometimes you have to do that, right? Yeah, I mean, because that's part of self-care, right? That's part of loving yourself and honoring what you're feeling in that moment.
SPEAKER_03So you have to honor decompressing, but me coming and you know, say calling you for instance, and like, hey, I need to talk about this. Um I don't do that because I feel like you know, everybody's going through something, everybody has their own thing, and I don't want to feel like you know a complete dump set, unless it's something just traumatic, and then maybe I need to, but a just a dump session, I I'm not gonna do that.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so what do you do though? Besides just sitting in the house, how do you release that? How are you getting that out? Do you journal? Do you go outside and scream at the top of your lungs? Like, what are you doing? Because I I journal and I'm at the verge. Remember, I told you, overwhelmed. I'm at the verge of going in my backyard and screaming to the tops of my lungs at this moment with everything that I have going on. So, how do how what what are some things that you're doing to decompress to release?
SPEAKER_03Right. So I'm on Audible. Okay. I have my my books that I'm listening to, and I mean it's a wide range of you know, the ratchet, to you know, self-help type books, and you know, then I come across things on TikTok and I'm like, oh, let me look it up and see if it's on the so that's what I do. Or, you know, sometimes I'm my aimlessly and mindlessly playing games on my phone, just or listening to music while I'm playing the game, and then that's it. Okay, and I'm just all right, you know, so I'm okay.
SPEAKER_01I'm okay with you sitting in the house, but I'm not okay with you sitting in the house and just letting everything just fester from the inside. You have to find a way to release it. So if you're finding an outlet, like then I'm I'm gonna give you an okay. I'm gonna give you a go ahead and give you a high five on that because I just don't want you to be um because we have to take care of ourselves. I remember, I remember um after we decided to move my mom back to Minneapolis into an assistant living facility, and um, I had a I have a therapist, and I remember her telling me, um, you you've been caring for a long time, don't do anything for a year. I was like, for a year, don't do it, girl. Stop. Like, I don't I don't know. In the first couple of months, it was hard because I had been so conditioned to caring for my mom. Right. Excuse me, getting off work, making meal prepping on Sundays, or doing this or doing that. And so what I realized is with every transition that my mom had, I had a new normal with the transition. So when we transitioned her back to Minneapolis, um I had to create a new normal. But for that one year, I started falling in love with things that I had to push back on the back burner, and then I found some new things, but it was it was probably the best advice that I ever got was to take that year to do absolutely nothing. I started reading books again, um working out again without feeling rushed and all of that. So we do have to take care of ourselves and find what that thing is. So I'm a firm believer that anything that we go through, there's a lesson to be learned, or there's something we're supposed to know about it. So I'm gonna switch this just a tad bit. As a caregiver, going through what you went through with your mom, what is a lesson that you learned about yourself?
SPEAKER_03Wow, yeah. I guess one that I've got more patience than what I gave myself credit for because you know it takes a lot of patience and just okay. I'm gonna just let that ride on by. You know, it it really does, you know, that that was one thing because by nature, I am very impatient. I am I want you know, I'm very impatient. My my tolerance level, I think, has always been very low my entire life. But uh I don't know, something changes when you're caregiving because you realize especially you know, Alzheimer's dementia, you realize this is not of their fault. This is uh nothing that they would ever want you to have to do for them, yeah. Yeah, and so you know, just the patience and and uh problem solving, like thinking way ahead, trying to just be more prepared to, you know. So oh man, this is yeah, girl.
SPEAKER_01Let me tell you that patience thing, I would tell people I do not have patience, I do not have patience, I would scream it from the rooftops, but when you become a caregiver, and it's probably I've never been a parent, but it's probably the same type of thing with um parenting, you know, you have to, it's a skill that comes that comes with the territory, and so for me, I was just kind of like, it's okay, mom, it's okay, it's okay, it's so we're gonna now don't get me wrong, there were some days where you're just like oh no, and you know that there were there was a day like that, and I just I was so angry, um, and I was angry at her, but not at her, but it was like, why is this happening to you?
SPEAKER_03Why, why, you know, why? Just you know, that that that's it's why why why why you? Why are why is this happening? Why am I having to do this? It's like we were having such a good time. She would always want to, you know, I'm like, hey, come on, let's go. Oh yeah, right, down the ride and do anything, girl. Didn't matter what it was. She was just, you know, ready to go. And and that's when I was baking. And I mean, I had cocoa powder everywhere because I was and then I would feel bad because I'm I'm banging this in this open cocoa powder container on the counter because I just it was like I just snapped for a second.
SPEAKER_05Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03And then I felt, you know, as you kind of come down, then I felt so terrible, you know, but it was not directed at her. I'm not wasn't angry it's the situation. And I'm like, you know, because you're like, you don't deserve this. You don't deserve to be going through this.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know, like, why? That's you know, like, why?
SPEAKER_01Yep. Yep. I I totally um I totally can resonate and feel what you're what you're explaining. Um, it was the same thing when my mom was diagnosed with with multiple sclerosis, and I just remember like. What? Why? How? Like, what what is this? And so it is. It's um, and this this will probably be another episode. Um, but it's the diagnosis, because a lot of times we talk about the diagnosis affecting that person, which that's a whole different conversation, but we don't talk enough about the diagnosis and how it affects the people in the family. And so um I think that really needs to be discussed more. Um, because like you, like you said, dementia for what over 10 years with your mom dealing with that. Yeah, that's 10 years of you have having that dementia, right? Dealing with it, and learning about it, and and and and your life being altered by it.
SPEAKER_0310 years ago, there was not like now there's so much more about caregiving, Alzheimer's dementia, things that are causing it, medications that they think may could help. But 10 years ago, I I felt so alone and lonely with it because there just was not a lot, you know, and and as I was going through this, a lot of people, they had no idea that any of this was happening. Because it and it it wasn't that I was embarrassed of it or anything, it was like I I didn't know how to go about even talking about this or getting, you know, because people would ask about her, and I'm like, she's not getting better, like she's fine, like healthy wise, and you know, she's eating and all of this stuff, and still pretty active, you know, in the beginning, and but it's just the the the information about it, you know, there wasn't a whole lot, but now you know, yeah, there's a lot more, but still I remember um how you and I met.
SPEAKER_01We met through a Facebook group, but then but I then I remember you were a baker, and then I remembered that you were caring for your mom, and you and I was baking and caring for my mom, but then I just remember we both were putting our caregiving stories online as wow, this is like I can relate, like she understands because a lot of times when we're caregiving, we think we're going through it by ourselves, like don't no one understands, and so I just remember seeing some of your posts at the time, and I'm writing my post going, well, we could copy and paste, right? Even though, even though at the time their illnesses were different, I think I lost her here. Um, even though their illnesses were different, um, the experiences are the same. Right. So let's let's let's let's let's let's let's move on a little. Um, while you were caring for your mom, was there a moment when you realized that the experience of caring for your mom was shaping you for um to create constant companion?
SPEAKER_03No, no, because you know what? Let me tell you what, as I was going through that, I was just going through it. Like I I literally, like I said, I I was as I'm putting more things together with constant companion, I was thinking back on trying to find care for my mother because I was like, I can't do this 24-7, I have to have some help, you know. Yeah, I found some good in between, but most are you know, and I'm like, no, this is not gonna work. But I don't think that when you're going through it, you're just kind of like tunnel vision. You're just trying, you're not even thinking about, oh, how can I share this and help someone else? No, I'm just trying to help myself right now because I am basically like putting my life on hold. It was like, you know, still trying to work, still trying to date.
SPEAKER_01That's a whole nother topic. That's a whole nother topic.
SPEAKER_03Caregiving and dating, a whole nother topic. So, you know, just trying to work and make sure she's cared for, still trying to go out and just socialize sometimes just to have that little bit of release, you know. So, no, when I was going through it, I was just boom, blinders on, eye straight ahead.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because it's it's it's definitely uh because there's not a handbook, right? There's not a handbook to tell you here are the seven steps to being a great caregiver, right? Um, but what but it's day by day, moment by moment, sometimes, sometimes hour by hour. Um, and so I get it. Um, so from when your how many years has it been since your mom has passed away? It's been we're in 2026, it's been five years. Okay, it's been five years. So from her passing to now launching constant companion, are you in a good place now where you can use that experience and transfer that over for other families?
SPEAKER_03Yes, because that's my whole, I guess, kind of angle is I'm not coming into this business with um, you know, oh, I went to college and I studied this and that, and you know, I have a doctorate and this. No, ma'am, I don't have any of that, okay? I'm coming with a doctorate in real life, okay, caregiver experiences.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, she's like, I got that PhD.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. You know, and I think that that is so much more um needed versus somebody coming and saying, Oh, well, I read about this or I did this, or you know, I did no. When you were, you know, knee deep in it, there's to me there there's like no other experience other than that that can, you know, kind of prepare you and tell to tell other people, hey, this is where you because there's so there's so many things, so many things that I wish that I had known, or somebody said, Hey, why don't you do this? You know, bank accounts, uh, um, you know, just life insurance, you know, medication, doctor, you know, you start all of that, but you're learning this as you are going through it. Nobody is giving you step by step at all, you know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And that's part of part of the reason um why caregiving and conversations has been um created because there isn't a lot of information for that. And so I want this to be a safe space, I want this to be a space um for people to learn. I want this uh, I want this also to be a community for people to know that they're not alone and that there are resources out there. Um, one thing that you touched on um when you said you were looking for people to come in and take care of your mom, and you were like, nope, they're just not. Um, and I think that's part of us. One is just our mom, and no one's gonna take care of our mom better than we are. Um so how do you get families to buy into constant companion um to fill that gap of the appointments and the errands? Because, like I said at the beginning, there were times when I was like, oh my god, I wish there was somebody could take you to the doctor because I got this meeting at work and I can't do this, and so I'm trying to juggle this. So, how do you what would you say to a family um that you're that person to fill that gap? Like you gotta let go of some of that control. What what what advice would you give to somebody for that?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, because my my issue with the caregivers where it's like, okay, you gotta have some common sense, you gotta think ahead. You have to common sense is not common. We we know this, and it's like, you know, I can give you some care other caregiver stories, but my my thing to other families who, you know, are gonna because this is what I'm gonna be doing, setting up consultations with families, um, and just letting them know, you know, like I said, I've got firsthand experience, you know, so I'm already 10 steps ahead before we even get to the appointment, you know. Well, is there anything that they need to have with them? You know, does she need water? She always cold, what about a jacket? Does she wear a certain sweater? You know, does she always like to have something in her purse? You know, put some candy in her purse or something. Does she just have, you know, just things that are going to comfort them and keep them kind of calm or whatever, or feeling okay with me being the one that's taking in versus, you know, with the family. But my main thing is I've I've done this for so long, even though it was my mom, but I want to I want to treat your mother like she was my mom. And I, you know, everybody deserves that same dignity, care, and compassion. That's the whole thing. It's like not just in this just to make money, and you know, and that was the thing. I think with some of the caregivers, it's like they're just a for caregiver job or whatever, you know. And I'm like, no, that that's not it at all. These are people, yeah. This is a human being, and it's like we have to go above and beyond beyond to make sure that they're taken care of properly. Yeah, it just that that just is because not everybody just has it. Like, I just cannot see just halfway doing something, you know. I just I just can't. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I I'm with you, Lisa. Yeah, I'm with you. And one of the words that you said, um, dignity. Yeah, regardless of their illness, they still have to have the dignity, dignity, and being able to make sure that they have that and feel it, not even just have it, but make sure that they feel it because even though whatever they're dressed any kind of way, looking any kind of way, not you know, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I get it. So from caregiver, from caregiver to caregiver, let's talk about this word here, guilt. There would be times I sat in guilt. My guilt was Monday through Saturday. Um, I did any and everything for my mom, whatever she needed, whatever she wanted. Everybody knew on Friday after I got off work, I was taking her to this little place where she loved her Chinese food. And the little guy loved to, he knew, like he didn't know what her illness was, but I would let her order for herself and use her own debit card to let her feel like she had some of that independence. And then Saturday I would, you know, let's go for a ride, let's let's go to a movie, let's go do this. But Sundays was a day that I wanted for myself, and there were a lot of times when I would make sure she was taken care of, and then I would leave on Sunday. There were times I would go to the movies on a Sunday, and I would literally um go to the movies and take a nap. So, but I would feel guilty about leaving her because I'm like Monday through Friday, I'm working, I'm this, I'm that. So, how do you fight through guilt? Or what did you do to fight through that guilt?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean, oh gosh, because I I did I did feel guilty, same as you, because you you feel like you're letting them down. Just for even in just for that little bit of moment, because it's like I'm always here, I'm always right here, anything that she needs, or and it was just you know, eventually I just had to like tell myself it it's okay. Okay, then once I found one caregiver that was there helping, and that's when I started to feel a little bit less of that guilt. Okay, yeah, it was when you had that help that you were okay with, you're not gonna feel you know as bad about leaving it. But you know, you that that's the thing, main thing I think I would say anyone that's coming into being a caregiver, you're you're thrown into being a caregiver, you have to take time for yourself. That's it. Because absolutely you just do.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, rustic care is very important. Um, and there's there's there's places out there. One of the one of the biggest challenges that I had with my mom, because there were a lot of adult daycare places, yeah, you know, and you know, they would do field trips and they would, you know, they do arts and crafts. And I'll be like, mom, do you want to go to this? She's like, no. And I'm like, oh so I had someone, I went through three, three personal care assistants, I think, that came into the house. And it wasn't even to really just help me do stuff around the house, because that that was me giving I I can't I couldn't give up the control. It was basically giving her the companionship, right? So if you're paying for that companionship, that's also taking some stuff off of your plate because that then helped me. Well, she had five hours with someone today, so she wasn't here all by herself. So I think constant companion is gonna be um very successful for you because it is that it is that companion part that's needed so the caregiver can get some respite care and not feel the guilt that comes along with it because it is hard. It's hard to especially when, especially when um, so for me, I didn't have family here, right? I had friends who were great and that became family, um, that would step in and and and check on my mom, and that was great, and I would not take any of that for granted, and I'm very thankful for that. Um, but it's different when you don't have family, really, it's really different. So let me ask this as a former caregiver and now a business owner serving caregivers, what does healthy caregiving look like now?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, again, I think sticking with my word the dignity, you know, because there's so many people that see an opportunity, I think, with elderly, and then it turns into oh well maybe I can, you know, and it turns into something else that's not so nice, you know, taking advantage of them and you know, different type of financial hope all the time. And you know, that's something also that want to try and protect them from, you know, because I just I see so much of it and it just it breaks my heart because I just I don't know what to be alone. It's like I want to be there, even if you know you just you just need somebody for a few minutes just to talk to, because most times that's what happens when I get them online talking, talking, talking, talking.
SPEAKER_05Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03But and that that is part of that healthy care giving, just taking that time, just having that little bit of patience for them. Because you know, we know they they want to tell the story, they may have told you that same story 12 times, but we're gonna list this.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that repeat, that repeat, man, is it's for me. I think healthy caregiving is setting boundaries, setting boundaries in place. When I became a caregiver, um heck, I didn't know anything about boundaries. And if I was to if I was to do it full time now, because now I'm kind of distant because she's in Minnesota, but if I was to do it now, I think setting the boundaries would be that that healthy caregiving. Um yeah, I think that would I would have to set boundaries in place. So two questions. Oh, I think I may have lost you. Okay, are you back? Okay, so this is my Mystiff unfiltered question. This is where you just get to just get to be. So caregiving is a beautiful thing, it's also a blessing, it's also tiring, it's also um challenging, it's messy, yes, frustrating at times. Yes, what is a caregiving truth that people don't talk about enough? Just let it go, just let it go, be unfiltered.
SPEAKER_03Again, that that frustrating part, the anger, the that you know that's what I feel most guilty about, being angry. Okay, being angry, that's what I feel, and again, not at her, but just uh at the disease, yeah, at that she had to go through this, but the there's just so many, and it's not just one.
SPEAKER_01No, I and that, and and I think you're right because a lot of people want to gloss and make it this pretty picture of caregiving. You know, um, they talk about I and I'm speaking from experience, you know. I've had people tell me, um, I would do anything if I could have my mother back with me. I'm not saying I don't want her here. I'm saying today, in this moment, this is hard. Yeah, I'm tired. I I can't do this anymore. And so I think I think we have to be honest. I mean, it's no different than when people talk about raising children, you know. Oh, children are a blessing, they're the most beautiful thing, and you don't need to send them to their grandma, send them to their daddy for the summer. Okay, exactly. But people don't talk enough about that. Oh, I would do anything for my kid. I will do anything for my mom. Again, two things can be true at the same time. I'm gonna do anything.
SPEAKER_03I'm still frustrated and I'm still tired, I'm stressed out, and another thing that people have to get over is always saying, don't put them in no home, don't send them nowhere, don't put okay, all right. You keep that same thought when you get to a certain point in your caregiving uh journey and see what you say then, you know what I mean? Because that was something I cried for so long about that, because I felt like I was really letting her down at that point.
SPEAKER_01No, I rem I remember your post about that. I remember you talking about that, I remember that decision. Um, and that was one of the struggles I had about us moving my mom to Minnesota and her going into assistant living facility. I will say though, she hates the food, but she likes the the independence that she has.
SPEAKER_03And then she's got anything and all that, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. The food part, she is like absolutely not but her being able to tell me, oh, I went downstairs and sat on the patio and read my book, or we went to such and such, and you know, because she's back in Minnesota, you know, some of her friends come and get her and they take her to lunch, and so she's so happy about that. I mean, even though I was taking her to lunch and taking her to dinner and taking her, it's just right, she's doing it with her friends and her friends. So I I I really appreciate it. I will say the transition for her has been better than what I thought it would be.
SPEAKER_04Now I still struggle.
SPEAKER_01It's been eight years or seven years.
SPEAKER_03long history but i struggle i'm still struggling with her being there my lisa so i have one more question for you and i i don't want to i don't want to leave on the unfiltered question so this is a question i ask all my guests what is that one thing that brings you joy these days outside of caregiving what do you do that brings you joy most times it's just being with my fur baby that's it uh so now he's so bad he's so bad he's an old man and I said you know it's funny how it's the same with people when people get older they just say and do whatever they want and that's kind of how he is so um you know being out with my dog because uh he's elderly and I'm trying to you know cherish those moments with him but um really I am just starting now to get back into like okay I need to start getting out I need to start doing stuff because it was a transition as you know from coming out of the house to being living somewhere else you know and it's like this isn't home I still haven't fully decorated here so and it's been three years so far we won't we won't talk about that it took me almost five years to start decorating my house so I I guess but it's it really is a transition you know from losing them moving on life without them that whole transition and it really does just take time and it really has taken me all of this time and it and you know people probably be like that's weird or you know it sounds weird or what but I just like I said I haven't that's why I don't have any pictures on my wall or nothing but I I'm getting there slowly slowly but so that's one thing that I'm happy about because I did realize you know I am starting to get back into reading again reading my book because I hadn't for so long and you know being with this crazy one here but we're over here by the lake so like going over to the lake and just sitting and just being and just relaxing.
SPEAKER_01So okay I like that I like that I'm a water person um and so anytime I can be around water it just being outside just the nature it just that grounding and so I just love that yes the springtime is the best right yeah you know not so much girl we went we went from it's cold to 90 degrees 80 degrees or uh humidity almost but it's supposed to be a hundred degrees um soon no i i don't even want to think about i know so lisa tell people how they can get in touch with you tell them your social media and uh website whatever how do people get in contact yes my website is constantconcierge.net um i do have a facebook constant companion uh senior concierge i'm still working on all of the other um websites and tick tock and trying to get all of that stuff going so that's the main way to reach me uh email is constantconcierge dot uh no constant concierge at outlook okay girl just go to her facebook page and yeah go to the facebook page who is there yes yeah so yeah and saying some something wrong on my own business no that's fine that is fine lisa i just want to say thank you so much um i enjoyed this conversation a lot of things that you were saying it was like i could copy and paste it and have it come out of my own mouth because the the stories the themes are the same and i just want you to know and everybody else out there who's listening um if you're a caregiver you're not alone all right so before we go I just want to say yeah I just want to say thank you for watching thank you for subscribing thank you for sharing and to all my caregivers out there remember give yourself grace give yourself rest give yourself self love because you matter too thank you bye bye