Caregiving is one of life's greatest acts of love, but it's also one of its greatest challenges. This is a space where caregivers, families, and professionals come together for honest conversations, practical resources, and heartfelt stories that remind you that you're not alone.
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In this vulnerable episode, Ms. Tiff opens up about an unexpected emergency room visit last week that forced her to ask for help and recognize that caregivers need care, too. She shares her experience, the emotions that came with it, and the powerful reminder that asking for help is not a weakness, its a strengh and it’s necessary.
The views, stories, and opinions shared on caregiving and conversations are my own. The experiences I discuss are personal and honest reflections of my caregiving journey and genuine feelings. They are shared with transparency and authenticity and should never be interpreted as a lack of love, respect, or care for my loved ones. The views, stories, and opinions expressed by guests on this podcast are entirely their own and do not necessarily reflect those of caregiving and conversations or its hosts. The experiences and information shared are intended for educational and informational purposes only. They are not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of your physician or another qualified health care provider regarding any medical condition or health-related concerns. Thank you for listening and welcome to Caregiving and Conversations. Welcome to Caregiving and Conversations with Ms. TIFF Unfiltered. Come on in. Let's have a seat and chat. All right, so before we get started, two-word check-in. Today, my two-word check-in. And remember, when we're doing a two-word check-in, we're being intentional about how we're actually feeling, but we cannot use the word fine. Fine is the default word, and we're going to get away from using the word fine. All right. So today, my two-word check-in is I am thankful and I'm also tired. And by the end of this episode, you'll understand the why. Um, so how are you doing today? All right. So last week's episode, Siblings and Boundaries. I hope y'all watched it. Did you watch it? All right. If not, why? Oh, it's on your to-do list. Okay, come on in. Watch it. Make sure you watch it. Make sure you subscribe. Um, I give I'm getting a lot of views, but my subscriber number is not going up. So if you're watching this video, make sure you hit subscribe. It's free. It's free to hit subscribe. So hit that subscribe button, um, tell a friend to tell a friend, and share this video. Um, not just this one, but any videos um out there, because there's some information out there that is very helpful, not just for the caregiver, but it's also helpful, helpful to those who know a caregiver because I have been giving and my guests have been giving advice on how to support the caregiver. All right, so now that we got that out of the way, wait a minute. Siblings and boundaries. Um, two things that stood out for me in that interview was make sure the lines of communication are open with your siblings. I don't know if that's a monthly call. I don't know if that is a quarterly call. Don't let it be a yearly call, though. Make sure it's more frequent and you're touching base with the caregiver. The other thing is effort. If you are not the primary caregiver, show effort and helping. Um, every little bit will help. I don't care if you're going over there just to sit with the loved one that they're caring for, just to give them a break. I don't care if you take food over to the house, it can even be takeout. Just show effort, show up. Um, because not everybody is capable to care, to be a caregiver. So whatever you are capable of doing, um, try it. I bet you the primary caregiver will appreciate it. All right, so this is Mystiff Unfiltered. I wasn't quite sure if I was going to share, um, but how do I have a uh podcast about caregiving and not share? So, as a caregiver, I'm not the primary anymore, but I am still a caregiver. Um, the caregiver needed care. Three days ago, I was sitting sitting in the emergency room. Um, I woke up uh Monday morning and I had a massive headache, and I had never had a headache like this ever before. My first thought was I'm having a brain aneurysm that's taking place. Um I was trying to text uh my brother, who is my emergency contact, and I was trying to text my manager, and I couldn't text. I couldn't um think of the word spelling words. They just weren't coming to me in that moment. Um and so I picked up the phone and called my brother immediately. He knew something was wrong. I called my manager immediately. She knew something was wrong. Um, and those two phone calls, I remember saying, I'm gonna drive myself to the emergency room. And I was strongly advised, is there somebody that you can call? Like you really don't need to drive yourself. But, you know, as a caregiver, a lot of times what we do is we put on that cape, um, the Superman, Superwoman cape, and we can do it all. And in that moment, I thought, I can do it all. But then I said, that's not wise. That's that's just not a good decision. Um, so I called a friend and I said, and he immediately knew something was not right. And this is before I could really start talking. Um, and I said I needed to go to the emergency room, and he came and got me, and we went to the emergency room um luckly. So I'm fine. Um, I do not have a brain aneurysm, which I thought I did not have a stroke. Um, I just had a massive migraine, not sure where it came from. Um, I had migraines 25 years ago when my mother was first diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and I and it was nothing um like the intense, excruciating pain that I had on Monday. Um, I will be following up with doctors, so I'm fine, everyone, but it was scary. And I had to remind myself the caregiver needs care. The caregiver has to take care of themselves, or they're not able to take care of anyone else. At the end of every podcast, I say, remember to give yourself grace, remember to give yourself rest and to remember to give yourself love. In that moment, I had to give myself some love and I had to reach out. Um, I had to take that cape off, I had to be vulnerable. I had to show I am weak in this moment, but that weakness is actually a strength to be able to ask for help. Um sitting in that emergency room, there were so many thoughts that were going through my head. Um and I don't think I really processed it in that moment. And yesterday, which was Wednesday, um, I'm actually recording this on a Thursday because it just came to me that I need to share, and I needed to share um why it's raw. But yesterday I was doing my devotional, and the devotional said joy in trials. And I just started crying because in that moment I was in a trial, but I had the joy because whatever it was, um, I made it through. The pain hurt, the pain, y'all just don't know. Um, that pain was something I've never in my life experienced before. And I've had some pain. I've been in car accidents. It was nothing like that. Um, I've had surgery, and the pain was nothing like the pain that I had in my head. Um, and even through the pain, though, I think what scared me the most was the confusion, was not being able to um text and spell words and get them out. Um, even the conversations I'm sure that I was having were not um coherent um in a way that made sense on how I normally communicate. So that was the part that was scary for me. But then joy in the trial. I found joy in the trial. Um, I had a CT scan. My CT scan came back clear. Um, no signs of abnormalities. Um and so I I have to be thankful. So at the beginning of this podcast, I said what my two words were thankful. I'm thankful that I'm here. I'm thankful that after a day and a half of intense head pain, I don't have it today. And today I'm thankful. So um I just want to remind all caregivers out there, take the cape off. Take care of yourself. Take care of yourself. Find someone to take care of you in that moment. Um, I have a great support team. Um, I had people praying for me. Um, and that's important. And so remember that there is joy in our trials if we find it, if we keep our eyes open for it, that there is joy in the trial. And so in that moment, um, yesterday, I broke down in tears because I had to find that joy in that trial. And that joy was I made it through. And I'm migraine-free today. And for that, I'm joyful. For that, I am thankful. And to all of you out there who may have some sort of pain, go get it checked out. Even if you just need to rest, get some respite care, get someone to come over and take care of your loved one if possible. If not, reach out for help. There are resources out there. You just have to find them. Um, build a community. That's one of the things that I want why I wanted to build this um podcast is because I want us to be a community. I want us to be able to share with each other what's happening out here to our caregivers. And more and more people are becoming caregivers. But before we can be a caregiver, we have to make sure we take care of ourselves. All right, enough about me. Um, next week's podcast. Next week's podcast, I'm so excited. Um, it is about AI, AI and caregiving. Um, just a tool. It's not gonna take away um the humanness of caregiving, but I can't wait for you to uh check in next week um to see how some people took AI and they're using it as a tool to assist that caregiver. So stay tuned for next week's episode on AI. It's very intriguing to me, especially since AI is uh that thing now. It's that end thing. A lot of us are using it in our jobs, a lot of us are using it to create those crazy fly flyers that I see all over uh social media. Um, but yeah, we need to embrace it. So all right, stay tuned next week. AI. All right, that's the end of this podcast. And I just want to say again, remember to give yourself grace, remember to give yourself rest, and remember to give yourself love because you deserve it. All right, bye bye.
