Season 2, Episode 6, Part 6: Interview with Tim Harris & Ashten Mizell "Ashten's Husband, Matt Mizell, Shares Stories and His Love for Tim"

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Transcript

spk_0:   0:01
Hello, My name is Greta Harrison. Welcome to Born Fabulous Podcast Episode six of Season two The theme of this season is changing the world one friendship at a time. You will hear interviews with best friends. One person happens to have a disability, and the other does not. This episode is the sixth part of my interview with Tim Harris and his best friend, Ash In My Cell. Tim is famous for owning Tim's Place, a restaurant that serves breakfast, lunch and hugs. Tim is now a successful keynote speaker. He is 34 loves to travel and values his numerous friendships and a unique way Tim has down syndrome. Ash in My Cell is 33. She has a proud wife and mother of three young Children. You will also hear that she's a very good friend. Ashton's husband, Matt, is sharing his stories and thoughts in this episode. Please enjoy the short clip of love. It's a potion. The lyrics are by Melissa Regio, who was the focus of episodes one through four in Season one. The music and voice are by Rachel Fuller, wear very fortunate to have Ashton's wonderful husband, Matt, my cell with us Matt was not able to be here for the original interview with Tim Harris because that was taking place in Albuquerque. And now Tim Harris is traveling with Megan on the east Coast of Tim is not able to be with us. But Matt wanted to make sure that he put in his input because the friendship is so special to him. And so let's welcome Mat. And Matt, if you could just tell us a bit about yourself.

spk_1:   2:21
Well, hello. Thanks. Credit for having me appreciate it. Um well, I have had the privilege and opportunity to Mary Ashton who I think you have already met and spoken with. And so we've been married for about 10 years and we've had a whirlwind of a decade. Got four kids. Uh, no three kids. Just kidding. Uh, who? He had a dog. So we consider him one of our four, but he's bashed, but and we've got three kids and we live in Farmington, New Mexico, and it lived in Albuquerque. We live in San Diego, and I am a pastor at a church called Pinion Hills Community Church in Farmington. And we're having a blast and living the dream

spk_0:   2:59
All right. Well, thank you. And I know you wanted to be here because Tim is so special to you as well, isn't it? You could tell her. Look, what about that about when you first met him and how your friendship has blossomed since then?

spk_1:   3:13
Yeah, well, my wife, Ashton, Ashton and Tim were good friends in high school and asked him had a key role and help him get his first a real job in a restaurant. Red Robin. And they just really grew together in high school. So when I met Ashton back in 2008 we started getting to know each other and hanging out and dating with each other. But at one point, she said, There's there's somebody that's really important for me that I want you to meet. His name is Tim. And quite frankly, at first I was like, Well, he's this another guy on the side Is this another person she's dating? Who is this Jim guy? But then she explained that that Tim has down syndrome, and, uh, I really I had never had a friend that had down syndrome before. And so that was something that was new for me. But if this person is important to Ashton, then of course I want to get to know this person eso When I got to meet him for the first time, I remember he opened his arms up and welcome to me with a huge bear hug. And it was very welcoming and loving right off the bat and right off the bat, we hit it off his friends. And for me, it wasn't an obligatory thing. It wasn't that I had to be his friend because of Ashton. Um, it for me was how can you not love this guy? This guy's incredible. Um, so we had a great time and, uh, as I got to know him more and more, we spent more and more time with him and went down to Roswell, where he was in school and hung out with him when he was in college and made videos with him. We make music videos with him, so there's just a lot of sweet memories, and, you know, in a way, I'm a little bit saddened that I had not had, um, friends in the past that have down syndrome because now I realize how much a gift. They are to the world in tow. Tow humanity. Um, and so now I've got several of friends, my friends that have down syndrome, and Jim was kind of the 1st 1 for me that helped me realize how much of a gift they are, how special and precious that is. To me,

spk_0:   5:11
that's beautiful. And I understand that you've even incorporated people with different abilities, including Tim in some of your sermons of church or part of your ministry. Is that correct?

spk_1:   5:24
I have a couple different times, and in fact, Tim has helped me. I would say at least two or three times before where he's been a part of a sermon, where I kind of tell this story and tell a little bit about how I've gotten to know him. But then I'll bring him out on stage where people don't know he's there. So I tell the story and people are emotionally connected to his story. And then I surprised the audience by bringing Tim out on stage with me, and then I interview him on stage. Oh, and the beautiful thing and the times that I've done that it has really opened people's eyes two to the fact that way have a lot more in common with people that have down syndrome and different abilities. We have a lot more in common with them than we have un in common. I think my, my Angela, who said We have a lot more alike than we have on alike s so I think that has open eyes, the eyes of people that are in the congregation's. But what's been so sweet and heartwarming for me is that after each time that I had him on stage in a part of a sermon, I invite people to come and meet him afterwards. And the line is ours, long from people coming to get hugs, people wanting to come and shake his hand. And so, you know, if I were just bring Tim into an audience where people don't know him and they don't know his story, perhaps he wouldn't meet anybody in the audience because there's maybe stereotypes that people might have for somebody that has down syndrome. But once they get to know Tim or anybody, for that matter, with Down syndrome, once they get to know him, they fall in love with him. I think he's over Winfrey, who said you could love anybody if you know their story. So by helping tell his story, uh, people fall in love with him. And not only do they fall in love with him, but they want to meet him. And many of them have kept in contact with him throughout for social media and are raving fans of Tim perish because they had the chance to meet him and learn a story. So So for me, I I love using the opportunity, the platform and the microphone that I have to be able to help people understand. This is a person. This is a human. Not only that, you can you can love this person and he can love you. Uh, and like I said, we have a lot more in common than you might think. So perhaps open your mind to the possibility of of what a friendship could look like and what this person could offer to you. I really believe in administration and ministry for vocational ministry. For over a decade, I take people across the border down to Mexico in Third World countries and take him on a mission. Trips And while while those trips are helpful and beneficial to the people whom we serve, when we go in and you know helping orphanage or when we go and bring clothes or food to 1/3 world country where the people that are serving we are definitely serving, we're making them better. I I believe I think we're improving their situation. However, I believe that I get more out of that trip than the people who've been serving. And I would say the same thing is true for my friendship with Tim. Uh, my my friendship with Tim is not a handout to Tim. I'm convinced that I get more out of that friendship than than he does, and he might fight you on that. He might argue that. Say no. No, no, no. I love Matt more than he loves me, but really, it's such a blessing to have that friendship and have a relationship with him. And so the more I can give that gift to other people sounds a little strange. But give the gift of Tim to other people, the better off they are for And you know, we lived in California. We're in New Mexico. now, but but many people have reached out and said, Hey, how's Tim doing? Like they remember Tim from years ago when he happened to be in California. Was on stage with me. Uh, he just has a lasting impact on the more people that I can introduce to him. Um, the better off for their lives are. So it's just a blessing having in my lash

spk_0:   8:57
very, very powerful words. I really, really love what you said. I think I'm gonna use some of your quote to make means out of them very good. And as faras, the power of his friendship that extends, even passed him. As you said, you have other friends of differing abilities and you for see that being something ashen talked about, hoping for that with your Children as well that they have very inclusive experiences in their schools as they grow up. Do you have any comments or thoughts on that?

spk_1:   9:29
Yeah. You know, Tim and our family, he's not biological family, of course, but we call him Uncle Tim to our kids. And so our kids refer to him that they know him. They love him. Is Uncle Tim one of the things that we have recognized with our kids is that when they've seen people who have different abilities than Tim perhaps not Down syndrome, but but a different ability. Um, they have They have made comments here and there of Oh, look at that person or that person looks different. And so we've had aspirin. I've had opportunities where we can lead and God are encased because Tim is normalized to them. But other people may not be so. It's been an opportunity for us. You know, Ashton and I tried to really view everybody. I mean, we all look different. Different races, different language, different skin, different hair. We all look different, but we're all a part of humanity. And so when are when our kids have kind of stereotypes other people that they've seen in their young young ages. And, you know, our oldest is six years old. We've used those his learning opportunities to talk about how we believe God's creative people in different ways. And he's crafted people in different ways. And, um, you know, I think that, you know, when you go back to a Scripture and in the Bible, and I don't know how many listeners that you have that our faith or not. But when you look at the Bible in, Genesis says that God has created the plants and the animals, and it was good. He created the stars in the sky and it was good. He created the oceans and it was good. He created light and dark, and it was good. And then he created mankind, and the scripture says it was very good. There's a differentiating word there of the very and I believe that that mankind were his masterpiece, where his Magnum opus were the best of God's creation. And so, while we all may look different, we're still God's best and I don't I don't believe God makes mistakes. And if he doesn't make mistakes, and that means that people like Tim or people who have different abilities there, how God wanted them to be. And if that's the case, then what's the role in what's their purpose? We all have a role in purpose. I believe in our lives. So so to get to know them and realize that their abilities are different than mine. Their strengths are different with in mind their passions, their different within mine, but we're still a human. We're still created in God's image, and we're still we have something to contribute to make this world a better place. And what is that? Maybe my. The makeup that I had is different than somebody else, but, um, but I want to help even my kids explore like the gods made them that way. And let's appreciate that and celebrate that. And let's love them. Instead of pointing fingers or or gawking, let's get to know them because they have a story and they have a heart. They have a mind, Um, and God wants to use them in the same way he wants to use you. So So let's get to know them and even welcome them and include them.

spk_0:   12:14
Beautiful. Beautiful. Is there anything funny? Especially funny or sweet that you would like to share a story about tune?

spk_1:   12:23
Ah, funny or sweet? Uh, both Gosh, uh, 11 of the things that stands out to me and I don't I don't I'm not sure how much has been shared with youand the other episodes with Ashton and Tim, but one of the things that really Tim was all about was He wanted to be the person who gave my wife the ring in our wedding ceremony back in Cancun, in Mexico. And so we didn't have a flower boy. And so we made him our ring bearer. I'm sorry we didn't have a ring, Bert. And so we allowed him to be the ring bearer. But we felt like that the title of a ring bear was something that you would give to ah, smaller kid. And it's Tim, you know, everything is awesome. And so we wanted to make it bigger and bolder by having tym br ring bear. But we gave him the title of King of the Ring and he he just loved that role. And I distinctly remember him in the wedding ceremony itself and how much of a privilege that was for him and just a distinct role. Uh, and in him coming over in giving my wife in the wedding ceremony give handing the ring to her and giving her such a huge bear hug on that day for the wedding was just such a sweet moment. And I think that captivates to two dynamics of the dichotomy that makes up Tim. You have a serious, compassionate loving side, and you have a fun loving, entertaining side in. And that's Tim. He is the most authentic, loving person yet, one of the most fun people that you ever in engaged with. And in that moment, he was both. He was the king of the ring, which is a silly title. Yet he was so loving and so compassionate to give my wife the ring in her wedding ceremony. And and, uh and and for me, that was just a sweet moment, less of the silly and funny side, but men he has every time we meet him, I remember there was one time we went down and met him at a restaurant in Albuquerque. And I think it was in November, and he showed up in a full on Santa suit outside of this restaurant to be Santa. He wanted to be the first Santa that my kids saw that year on. He had a whole bag full of gifts that he had brought. And here we are in, like, November. So it I don't think Thanksgiving him past yet. So it just seemed a little out of out of date as Faras the Santa Claus, but But that's the kind of guy he is. He's he's always looking for costumes. He's just ran a marathon with Ashton 1/2 marathon, and he dressed up in a 22 for the marathon. But, uh, he's just a fun guy, and you can't be around him without laughing and enjoying life. And life is just better when Tim is around. So he lives up in Denver now, and it's hard for us because we're about seven hours away from him and we used to live a lot closer to him. But But hopefully, at some point, maybe we'll live again closer to one another, because and in all honesty are our lives are better when Tim is around,

spk_0:   15:13
that's beautiful. And I don't I don't think, you know, because I haven't had chance to tell you. But your wedding is the inspiration for this season being all about friendship. Because Jeannie I mentioned to Jeannie that Tim had an awful lot of best friends and if I didn't know him better, I would think that wasn't genuine. But I know Tim isn't is genuine, and Jeannie said she explained his version of friendship and Then she explained that Ashton honored that at your wedding, not having a best man or a maid of honor, having all of them be best men and all of them be maids of honor. And I just love that story so much that that gave us the idea for this season and then fly Tim's episode. But he has will be the first because this is all the inspiration. So thank you. You put your little spin on that story. So that's great.

spk_1:   16:06
Yeah. And you know, what's fun about that is that I've shared that that story about how we had all best man and all May maids and mate matrons of honor. I've shared that story many other people. I do a lot of premarital counseling with couples, and they're trying to figure out who's gonna be my best man and who's gonna be my maid of honor. And so I have thrown that out as an option for people to consider and say, Hey, here's what I've learned from my buddy Tim and here's what we incorporated into our wedding rather than put different degrees as faras friendship on people. Let's just make them all the same. They're all are close friends, and they're all our best friends. And so what sweet is that? There's many, many people who have gotten married that have taken that and made all best men, all maids of honor, and they've never even met him before. And his legacy is continue alone and people that will likely never meet.

spk_0:   16:50
I think that's great. And I think it will continue. Hopefully, more people will hear this and we'll do it. It's It's great You set a precedent.

spk_1:   16:57
Yeah, well, Tim helped in that. I mean, I was the same way. At first I was like, Well, he would tell me. I mean, you know, Matt, you're my best friend. And then he'd be like, Ashton, you're my best friend. And then I'd be like, What the heck? How come up? I was the best friend for a second, But then I realized an astronaut I offline kind of process together. We're like he really means that we are his best friend. You are. She is that person. That person effort there, all his best friend. And so I was like, you know, there's something beautiful about that, that they're all his best friend that he doesn't characterize or put people in different places. Um, in fact, I think that's one of the things that really stands out to me about Tim in general, not just about best friends and that title, but he looks at everybody the same. And I think this is where people that have different abilities that don't have down syndrome are something like that. I think this is something that we can learn from. Somebody liked him that, um, not only do they have a lot more in common than some people might think, but to think that we were all like I said early were wrong Mankind. We're all humans, and there's something to love in everybody. So when you watch Tim interact with people, he's not stereotyping anyone. He loves everybody. Uh, we've talked about having him come out here to our church and become a greeter, because sometimes our greeters at the church they greet the people than familiar with, or they greet people that they're friends with. But Tim, he greets everybody. He loves everybody. Everybody has the potential to be his best friend. If he gets to know him, you're my best friend, and I think there's something. There's something beautiful about that. But I think there's a learning opportunity for other people like me where maybe we need to be a little less judgmental of others, or stereotypical of others and putting people and their classifications based on how we view them or how we see them with preconceived notions. As faras who people are. Tim doesn't see that he sees a walking, talking human and they could be his best friends. So for me, that was a lesson, and I continue to be challenged by that.

spk_0:   18:56
That's beautiful. Well, thank you so much, Matt. I really, really appreciate your time today. It's warm. Very. It's not her toe, have you? Thank you.

spk_1:   19:05
Well, you're very welcome. Your very well, thank you very much. And I would encourage anybody that's listening to this. If you don't know somebody who has down syndrome, if you don't know somebody that has a different ability than you, you are missing out on life because they are a gift two to the world. And so do yourself a favor and go seek somebody out that has a different ability than you and get to know them get to know their story. Because you know what? You think you might be doing them a favor. That the opposite is actually true. You will be blessed because of that. So to stop robbing yourself of the joy that you could be having by getting to know somebody who is a different ability than you.

spk_0:   19:42
That's so true. Thank you. You're kind of words. Truer words have not been said. Thank you.

spk_1:   19:49
You're very welcome.

spk_0:   19:50
Okay. Thank you for listening to Born Fabulous Podcasts. Sixth episode of Season two I hope you enjoyed it and want to hear more. If you would like to see this episode, is it? It is available on YouTube and on Born fabulous podcast dot com. The friendship between Tim and Ashton is a joy to see as well as here. In Episode seven, Aston shares the impact Tim had on her as a freshman in high school. She's honest and raw. What she says is very important for all to hear. To see some photos and videos of Tim and Ashton or to sign up for email list, please go to www dot born fabulous podcast dot com. Police like us on Facebook. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter and subscribe to our YouTube channel. We're also on Pinterest. I'd be honored if you would leave a review on apple podcasts. Now, please enjoy this clip of love is a potion. The lyrics are by Melissa Regio was the focus of episodes one through four in season one. The music and voice are by Rachel Fuller, doesn't