Season 3, Episode 6, Part 1: Kayla McKeon and Elyssa Stallcup, "Persistence is a Big Part of the Journey"

Kayla McKeon and Elyssa Stallcup are interviewed together in this episode, because they are roommates. Kayla updates listeners on her life now since they heard her in season 2 of Born Fabulous Podcast.  Kayla and Elyssa enlighten us on their planned, and patient journey to become roommates, and find the right apartment. They talk about their relationship and give advice, such as the importance of "Me Time". 

Kayla is best known as the first professional lobbyist with Down syndrome. She is also a podcast host, popular keynote speaker, and tireless advocate. Elyssa is a mentor for adults with disabilities, a sibling of young adults with Autism, and is also Kayla's good friend. They are roommates by choice, sharing everything 50/50.  Elyssa does not have a disability. 

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Transcript

Greta Harrison: 0:00

Hello, my name is Greta Harrison. Welcome to born fabulous podcast season three, Episode Six. The theme of this season is young adults with intellectual disabilities living full lives of independence and interdependence. You will hear interviews with parents support staff and of course the young adults with intellectual disabilities. Please note these interviews were done one to two years ago. achieving independence is a complex journey for many individuals and families. There were many stops and starts with various entities when putting together season three. Regardless, this content is very relevant and we hope you will find it helpful. This is the first of three episodes that feature Kayla McEwen and Alyssa stalcup Alyssa is Kayla's mentor, good friend and roommate. Kayla is well known as the first professional lobbyist with Down syndrome, a sought after keynote speaker, a podcast host, a Special Olympics athlete and champion and a tireless advocate. She does all of this with her own mixture of grace and spunk. Please enjoy this short clip of the ring. The lyrics are by Melissa regio, a young lady who had Down syndrome and was the focus of episodes one through four and season one. The music and voice are by Rachel fuller. Hello, everybody, we are so glad to have in the house. Kayla McEwen and her roommate, Alisa Estelle cup. Yes, so glad to see you guys. So glad you're here after the pandemic and everything. And we're gonna catch up with Kayla in a minute. But before that Alyssa was going to be on a roll and tell a story. So tell us the story. Alyssa.

Elyssa Stallcup: 2:30

Okay, so I met Kayla, five years ago, I was interviewing with an agency I had just started with that works with people who have disabilities. And I get a call from my broker saying, Oh, can you there's this girl that I think you would enjoy working with. Um, all you have to do is meet her in person at Panera on a Thursday. And, um, so I was like, okay, that's I'll do that. And I got to the interview. And I met her and she was just like you had said earlier, she was such a firecracker. She she's like, I have a boyfriend. You know, I've been degrees. You know, I mix. I've traveled everywhere. I love reading. I love coffee. So we shared a bunch of the same interests. And I remember and she gave me her motivational speaker card, which I think I still have somewhere in my room. So, um, as soon as I got back home, you know, I told my mom, I'm like, I have to work with this girl. Like, I need to work with her. I hope she hires me. And I think it was either I think it was the next day the broker called me to say that they wanted to hire me so yeah, and I've been working with it ever since so well

Greta Harrison: 4:00

and and correct me if I'm wrong, but you're not just working with who you guys are really friends. You're really good friends. Yeah, yeah.

Elyssa Stallcup: 4:08

Every Friday. It doesn't feel like I'm working. It feels like I'm with my friend. I'm just hanging out with my friend. Hey, Libby,

Greta Harrison: 4:18

do you guys are so sweet? Well, we're gonna get back to to your connection. But before that we need to catch up with Kayla. Because the last time the audience heard from Kayla was pre pandemic, so a lot has happened since then. You wrote out the pandemic at home with your parents like a lot of people did right Kayla identity Yes. And and you're vaccinated double vaccinated double boosted right.

Kayla McKeon: 4:52

Yes. Okay. That's why the above.

Greta Harrison: 4:55

Okay, and so you were you were very careful. But you were also still working from home remotely Correct?

Kayla McKeon: 5:05

Correct.

Greta Harrison: 5:06

Is there anything else you want to tell us about that pandemic time?

Kayla McKeon: 5:10

I'm still working remotely. But now I'm starting to get badges shoot us variable. I've been trying to travel again. I've been to Washington DC in New York City, and upcoming, and this POTUS doesn't know but Dallas, but I'm going to San Diego and I Stovall. And she has family in San Diego.

Greta Harrison: 5:35

You're going to you're going to San Diego in October for what again,

Kayla McKeon: 5:40

I'm going for Society for Human Resource Management. And abbreviation as Shawn, don't ask me to be our house tomorrow, they all dance and wind down October 24. So this one is ups. That's awesome.

Greta Harrison: 5:56

And you know, since you just mentioned where you've been recently, tell everybody what you were doing in New York, because that was pretty cool.

Kayla McKeon: 6:03

When I was in New York City, for after USA games, I was going for the UN event, meeting individuals for Mongolia and Australia. And then this. So that was very interesting to go to them. First of all, it was very interesting to me, new and exciting people.

Greta Harrison: 6:29

And did you go to the New York Stock Exchange to

Kayla McKeon: 6:33

there was a different shot. But yes, I went to a New York Stock Exchange a couple of weeks ago. Exactly. I went on my boat, they don't get seven. So the nice. One of our partners within DSS, the National Down Syndrome Society, pardon me Voya. And when those CEOs will be stepping down, or the end of the year, we'll have a new CEO starting as of next January. So we went and celebrated his retirement. And we won a socket chin flow up being able to bring the closing bow.

Greta Harrison: 7:17

And you yourself got to ring that, didn't you?

Kayla McKeon: 7:20

Yes, I was pushing the currency. See, I was a thumb down to be the person bow.

Greta Harrison: 7:27

That was so cool. That's that was so cool. I saw the picture and it was you and John Cronin from John's crazy socks. And a whole group of people there. Right. Absolutely.

Kayla McKeon: 7:41

And as I don't know, Tom Harkin, the founder of the American Disability Act, 1990. He signed it, he signed it. And we will there with him on a panel discussion that day, along with Danny Taylor. Oh, Shawn, emergency I was on I was on a panel discussion, discussing unemployment and the differently abled workforce. That's, that's great.

Greta Harrison: 8:14

That's great. And did you? Am I remembering correctly? Did you interview Johnny Taylor on your podcast a while back?

Kayla McKeon: 8:20

I did a yes.

Greta Harrison: 8:22

I loved that interview. And I highly suggest people go to NDSS and look up Kayla's corner with two K's Kalos for Kayla and Kayla for corner on there, because she has a really good interview with him. And if we had all our human resource professionals be as up to date as he is, we would not have the employment issue that we have in this country right now. He he was an average. That was a good interview. And it's not that long. I it's less than 20 minutes, I think but it's a great interview. That was good. Well, that's, that's great. And so, okay, that's what that's what you were doing. Pre pandemic and

Kayla McKeon: 9:05

yeah, now as far as a CEO commission.

Greta Harrison: 9:09

Say that again, I'm sorry. That was my was

Kayla McKeon: 9:11

co commissioned with NDSS. We we talked with a bunch of different CEOs and it was well received.

Greta Harrison: 9:20

That's great. See, Kayla is out there not just advocating in Washington DC which is very important, but advocating everywhere. Like, like this, you know, and globally, you know, globally. It's what you do is so important. Kayla, you break down so many barriers every time you introduce yourself. You speak you network. You are breaking down barriers every single time. And she's my daughter. My daughter is 22 She's my daughter's role model. She's many people's role model. We adore you, Kayla. We adore you. I love Yassy. She is amazing. Thank you. You're so sweet. Well, you're you're just you're, you're really amazing. Now, Alyssa and Kayla, you were here together, because the whole theme of this season is interdependence independence. And we're talking about Kayla's new stage. Now. Just so everybody knows this is not the first time Kayla has not lived at home. The first time Kayla moved out, she moved to Washington DC, she went from Syracuse to Washington DC. And that was a great big change, a huge change. So she has done this before. But this time, she kind of did it a little bit more on her terms, meaning your time schedule, you got to pick from places where you wanted to live and so forth. So we're gonna delve into that. How did you know it was the right time to move out?

Kayla McKeon: 10:59

I was talking my parents and we, we talked about it for a while. But since I did move to DC, like you mentioned, we forgot is a good time to make my independence, a little more snowing, and to be able to be able to move out. Um, it worked out. Maybe also get harder when I moved to DC. There's um, I don't get hauled off. I was the one that cried.

Greta Harrison: 11:28

Well, yeah, that was that was a that was a night and day kind of move. Because you were going to the heart of DC, everything from where you are. So that was your you're not in quite of a different surroundings right now. You're you're in the same city. You got to pick where you are. Alyssa, Were you part of this decision? Obviously, if you're going to be the roommate.

Elyssa Stallcup: 11:54

Yeah, I saw I remember, we started talking about this. I came over to their house shortly after Christmas of 2020. So in June, so. So not Christmas of 2020. But it was January 2020. So this shortly after Christmas 2019. We that was when we first started talking about living together. And so I was really excited because I've never lived away from home. And I know kale is excited too. So I remember we start like we were the first time we started looking at apartments was in a Starbucks. And I have, you know, notes about, you know, the reviews, the pros and cons, what they had. So we started looking way back then, of course, the pandemic sort of threw a wrench in in that a little bit. And we started looking again, like lat probably, like, April 2020. I can't it was it was 2021 when we started looking around so Right, yeah. Okay,

Greta Harrison: 13:04

and so you had it in the back of your mind before the pandemic you kind of started those pre looking steps. When did you Rach it back up and feel like okay, we're still in the pandemic, but we're vaccinated now. And we know kind of how to muddle through this. We know when to be masked, we know what to do. So when did you kind of figure out okay, let's ratchet this up again.

Elyssa Stallcup: 13:31

It was April 2021. Right? I think so. Yeah. Because we for a while, we were looking at couches, we were doing price comparing and, you know, again, pros and cons. And we, you know, we I have a bunch of pictures on my phone of her, like looking like sitting on couches and, and looking at or like holding up mugs. So I would say, you know, spring 2021. So,

Greta Harrison: 14:09

okay, and and when did you actually make the move? Oh, wow. Okay,

Elyssa Stallcup: 14:14

so that was October? Yeah, that was well, we signed a lease in October, but we didn't officially move in until mid November. So November, it was November 13 2021. Okay,

Greta Harrison: 14:27

that's, I mean, the reason I'm asking that timeline, it helps people to know it doesn't happen overnight. Yeah, you know, you you had thought about it before the pandemic. So you've done some pre steps, and then you had about six months, give or take a little bit between when you ratcheted it up and when you actually moved in, right, correct. Yeah. All right.

Kayla McKeon: 14:50

And he's got a funny story about how he got the apartment while at a coffee shop out in Fayetteville. And we were like, oh, we should call this see where we You're on the waiting list. And he goes funny. I just want to call you myself. We just have a two bed two bed open, you want to check it out and engage your interest in a Diggler interest and it was fun a bit. We're gonna call we hauled. And, and they said, We're gonna call you. So we'll just about one. Oh, it

Greta Harrison: 15:25

was it was a perfect, perfect timing.

Elyssa Stallcup: 15:29

Yeah, there is one thing I'd like to mention with like, the timeline. Or, you know, for any of the listeners out here, who who want an apartment, but like that, they want to know about the process, you have to do a lot of calling to check in, if you're still on the waitlist, or if your name's the next person. Like if you are the next person on the waitlist to be called for it. Like you have to do a lot of calling so that day, you know, Kayla, and I decided, you know, we need to call to see if it's available. And yeah, like she said, like, oh, we were gonna call you it's available. So you have to do a lot of calling. You got to make sure you're following through with these with these apartments, because, um, you know, things get left by the wayside sometimes. So, and we love it

Greta Harrison: 16:22

was just that you were Yeah. Well, well, you know, Kayla, that's one of your big traits. You have so many traits, but persistence is a really good one. I have to you know what, I have to backtrack here. When we were talking about the pandemic and catching up with Kayla. We missed that she graduated. Yeah, you launch into that a little bit, Kayla. So,

Kayla McKeon: 16:45

um, so I graduated this past May. Actually, let me back it up a minute. It was actually March 21 321 that I find out that we were waiting this year. And I graduated in May, this year 2021 Excuse me, 2022 Excuse me this year, May 21 2022. When I found out I was on Syndrome Day. So it was amazing. I got my cap and gown. I had Alyssa on a bunch of family and friends. And I went I was able to walk the stage and graduate with my associates degree in general studies. And I just finished my last college class with an A. So now I'm just waiting for the degree to come in. i We

Greta Harrison: 17:41

are so prior to you name the community college that you went to Kayla,

Kayla McKeon: 17:45

so Onondaga O-N-O-N-D-A-G-A community college. Okay.

Greta Harrison: 17:53

And the reason persistence reminded me to to talk about that was Kayla has been pursuing this off and on for 13 years? Because she's been working, you know, and she's been traveling a lot. And the time that you were in DC, you were not pursuing it while you lived in DC. So there was a little break there. So you would take one class at a time? Yes, all these years. And you did it. and Edna Yuya. And she took all the hard classes. This is not some special program. This is not something where the requirements were changed for Kayla or anything like that. She took every tough class and anybody else at that community college had to take all the hardcore classes. Everything and she did it. Congratulations, Kayla. I know you have a party coming up at the end of the month. Yeah, it's just so so so so happy for you. So percent so persistence is a big part of this journey. And Alyssa, you're saying that both of you were persistent. Alyssa Could you tell the audience a little bit. I spoke about this with Kayla's parents and their interview but I think yours will probably be airing before there's explain the broker system because every state is different. And that terminology is really not used in a lot of states. So they might not understand it's not a stockbroker.

Elyssa Stallcup: 19:31

Okay, yeah, it's a person. It's, it's it's, um, I don't want to call it a case manager because I think the case manager manages the broker. But, um, the brokers basically have a list of individuals that they are helping to get services. There. Yeah. So they have a case law. Oh, so they have a caseload. And so, um, they, they're responsible for coming up with the the Hab plan for, you know, every, you know, I think it's two times a year. And then, um they are also responsible for hiring new staff, you know, and checking in with the staff. So, she's got a really great broker right now. Um, you know, very involved in Kayla's life and very involved in, you know, seeing checking in on me how I'm doing, you know, so that's how it works. Okay,

Greta Harrison: 20:44

just just so everybody knows. So you are part of Kayla's, quote unquote, staff. But your arrangement is really that and more, because you're also there as a friend. Yeah, absolutely. And so so. So they understand the logistics of this. Are you getting a reduction in rent Alissa? Or how is that working?

Elyssa Stallcup: 21:09

No, we we both came into this. Equally, we wanted both of our names to be on the rent. So we both pay half. So every month, and then we've seen with electricity, we split the electricity. Two ways. We split the rheostat spectrum, two ways. Spectrum is our cable provider. So yeah, so no reduction in right.

Greta Harrison: 21:38

Okay. So it's not like the government is paying for you to live there. It's not like you're getting a break to live there. You're doing this because you want to do it, period. And you guys are really, really good friends. Yeah. And a and I think that's, that's very, very cool. So you're having your Mary Tyler Moore moment together, right? Yeah. I don't know if you were too young to understand what that meant. But you understand what?

Elyssa Stallcup: 22:05

My parents and I watched that sometimes. So

Greta Harrison: 22:08

that's what, that's good. That's good. You're getting your your strong independence together. And I love that. So your place has two bedrooms, two bathrooms. So that'll that allows you your, your alone time to correct. Right? Yes. So how do you navigate those boundaries? Like, how do you? You know, when people live together, I don't care if it's husband and wife, college roommates, regular roommates. Sometimes anybody gets on somebody's nerves. So how do you guys navigate that?

Elyssa Stallcup: 22:41

So ummm, we clal it "Me Time". Um, so couple. So when we first moved in, we were cooking dinner. And Kayla asked me so we watch we have a show that we watch, you know, so the first show we watched together was new girl. I had already seen it, but I'd wanted her to see it. Um, and she asked me if I wanted a new role tonight. And I'm like, I'm tired. So maybe one episode. And so she thought that was an indication of something that she did wrong. She thought like, I was mad at her or something. And I'm like, no, okay, it just No, I need my I need my me time. You know, I, you know, I, I was working, you know, with another person. And I and now I'm helping you with dinner. So I just, you know, I just need me time, you know, and so she understood it. And then after that, she would always ask, Oh, do you need your me time? Do you need to read time? You know, so? Yeah. And she'll tell me if she needs to be left alone.

Kayla McKeon: 23:44

It is Kayla time.

Greta Harrison: 23:47

So Kayla, you ask for me time as well. Sometimes

Kayla McKeon: 23:51

if I feel like I need to Yes. So that's when we normally go all the way out here. And I'm just in a lesbian home lobby in my room and we both shut out doors. And I'll hear the we listen to music on the phone. But it works itself out. We always go out.

Greta Harrison: 24:14

That's a great strategy. And I think that can help a lot of people. Absolutely. Just ask for any time. And we

Kayla McKeon: 24:21

do come together. When we eat. We watch Family Feud and Jeopardy. So we're always having dinner together. And we always watch TV together. We don't need the meantime. We're always watching something. Yeah,

Elyssa Stallcup: 24:37

like right now we're on flight attendant. So.

Greta Harrison: 24:41

Okay, yeah. Well, I think a lot of people are going to be able to relate to that. I know that my daughter often every day she has to have her alone time. So I like that. I like that term. Me Time. It's just it's easy and it's understandable. So that's That's great. And so that that incident where you just wanted to watch one episode, and you said I just need my, my me time elicited that happened early on soon afterwards.

Elyssa Stallcup: 25:13

Yeah, so Okay, after that, you know, she would she, she's pretty good about asking, Oh, do you need your Meantime, like, if I come home from work and I looked at you do you need your me time, and I'll let her know if I do or not. So

Greta Harrison: 25:26

that's great. That's really good. That's, that's great. So, um, and

Kayla McKeon: 25:33

also, sometimes we just do our own thing. And we I'm in my room, and I do my thing. Events are the whole thing, but a bigger ship to the agency we work with. It's called advocates Incorporated, to help other people, other individuals, and other days. And I get it as a lone day one mentor. Because they are always on the move for so I understand that because I'm on the receiving end of it. Like I am today. I'm on the I'm on the mentee. And so I get the long day is my dad is a mentor over the agency. So I understand like, but whether that's a hobby or time as home me time,

Elyssa Stallcup: 26:20

yeah. Yeah, that's,

Greta Harrison: 26:23

that's great. Well, it is it is an unusual situation that you both really do understand each other's worlds a little more than maybe some other people do because you kind of have a foot in each world. So I like that by Thank you for listening to the sixth episode of born fabulous podcast third season. I hope you enjoyed it and want to hear more short video clips from most episodes are available on our YouTube channel and unborn fabulous podcast.com. In Episode Seven, you will hear Kayla and Alyssa discuss their chores and chore chart Kayla's different circles of support their apartment and more. Please follow and like us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd be honored if you would leave a review wherever you heard this podcast. Now please enjoy this clip of the ring. The lyrics are by Melissa regio, who was the focus of season one episodes one through four. The music and voice are by Rachel fuller