The Podcast for Real-Life Heroines
The Podcast for Real-Life Heroines
Season 7 Episode 9 - Interview with Amanda Gore
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In this thoughtful and inspiring episode, Susanna talks with Amanda Gore about what it truly means to choose joy, connection, and love in our everyday lives. An internationally renowned keynote speaker, author, and founder of The Joy Project, Amanda shares how her own heroine’s journeys through professional success, financial loss, heartbreak, divorce, and starting over in new countries have shaped the wisdom she now teaches.
Together, Susanna and Amanda explore the ways our unconscious thoughts influence how we experience the world and how learning to pause can give us the freedom to choose how we respond. They discuss Amanda’s PAIJE framework, the importance of self-worth, gratitude as a pathway to joy, and the ways fear and judgment can keep us disconnected from ourselves and others. Amanda also shares the story behind her book Joy Is an Inside Job, her journey toward inner peace, and the profound lesson she learned when losing her voice and hearing forced her to slow down and simply be.
Episode Highlights
00:45 – Introducing Amanda Gore and her work with joy, connection, and emotional intelligence.
04:19 – Amanda shares how she went from physiotherapist to internationally renowned keynote speaker.
12:13 – Amanda explains PAIJE: perception, assumption, interpretation, judgment, and expectation, and how our unconscious thinking shapes our experience.
24:21 – Amanda explains her metaphor of the “malware” that can corrupt the source code of who we are, as well as the story of how Joy Is an Inside Job came to her after the death of her mother.
41:39 – Amanda shares the one message she hopes listeners remember: consciously choose love over fear.
Get To Know Amanda Gore
Amanda Gore is an internationally renowned keynote speaker, author, and founder of The Joy Project. For more than 30 years, she has combined humor, storytelling, neuroscience, and emotional intelligence to help people create greater joy, connection, trust, and resilience in their lives and workplaces. A member of the Speaker Hall of Fame, Amanda is also the author of Joy Is an Inside Job, a book that explores the beliefs, fears, and patterns that can keep us disconnected from the joy within us. Her work encourages people to become more conscious of their thoughts, pause before reacting, choose love over fear, and create deeper connection with themselves and others.
Connect With Amanda
Email: amanda@amandagore.com
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Welcome to the podcast for real life heroines. I'm your host, Susanna Liller. In each episode, I talk with women who dare to be themselves, real heroines who take risks, both big and small. They try new things, challenge themselves, and take leaps into the unknown. Together we'll hear stories of women stepping into courage, finding and using their voice, and realizing the gifts they were born to give. Let's begin. Hello everyone. Welcome to the podcast for real life heroines. I am very excited, thrilled to welcome Amanda Gore to the show. I've had the joy of seeing her speak twice at the main women's conference. And she is she's fantastic. And I have been tracking her, being so persistent, whereas she traveled from Texas to Australia to Egypt over the past year, and finally she said yes to me. And so she is the real deal. And if you've been privileged to hear her speak, you'll know what I mean. You'll agree with me. Amanda, let me say a few words before you we begin. You are an international renowned keynote speaker, author, and founder of the Joy Project. For more than 30 years, you have combined, and maybe it's more than that by now, 30 years you have combined humor, storytelling, neuroscience, and emotional intelligence to help people create greater joy, connection, trust, and resilience in their lives and workplaces. And you are a member of the Speaker Hall of Fame. And I I would suspect that that isn't given out just really easily, right? It's quite an honor to be in there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's a wonderful honor, actually. And I've just returned from the National Speakers Conference and where they inducted another four or five, I think. So I'm pretty blessed.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, quite an honor. And um you're the creator of Joy Intelligence, which we'll talk about, and the author of this book, Joy is an inside job, and it's free. Um, and it's a book that invites us to rediscover the joy within ourselves and bring more of it out into our relationship. So when Amanda and I were talking about what we are going to talk about, I said, let's talk about joy and let's feel the joy in our conversation, that both of us are excited about talking about what we're talking about. And so your message, I think, is very much aligned with the real life heroines journey, helping us go beyond fear and re-reconnect with who we really are and recognize that joy really is an inside job. Yeah. Like your title. So welcome, welcome.
SPEAKER_02Well, thank you so much for being persistent. It wasn't that I was saying no, folks, it was just that I wasn't able to make the times work, but we've we've done it, and I'm very grateful.
SPEAKER_01Right. And this this is a very busy woman, and as you might imagine. And why don't we just start with how the heck did you well? I'm just reminded of sitting in Portland, Maine, just last what, November?
SPEAKER_02I think so.
SPEAKER_01Having watching you on the stage, and it was the second time I had that privilege, and you pacing, pacing, you have three easels up there, and you're writing, and you're writing, and and just we're all laughing, we're all feeling the joy that just comes right out of you. So you weren't always doing that, right?
SPEAKER_02No, I wasn't. So I started off. I started off as a physiotherapist. So in America, you don't have physiotherapists, you have physical therapists. But in Australia, we're a blend of PTs, OTs, chiropractors, nurse practitioners, you know, we're respiratory therapists. We kind of do a lot. And uh so I was very happy doing all of that, and I branched into ergonomics and occupational health and co-authored a book and written another one, and someone asked me to speak at a conference. I I don't know that I'd ever been to a conference. Oh yeah, I'd had been to a conference, I think. But anyway, I went along and I was doing a lot of training at the time, so I didn't think anything of it. And uh I spoke at the event, which in my mind was like itty-bitty, like 20 people, but it must have been bigger because they had an MC. And uh and I'm kind of old, so I can't I forget a whole lot of things because I've done a whole lot of things, not because I'm senile. But that's what I'm telling myself anyway. And um uh he at the end of the presentation, he said, You should be a speaker. And I said, What's a speaker? I don't know. And these days, and he mentored me, and I was very blessed because his name was Ron Tacke, and to this day I still think he's the best speaker I've ever seen, with the most astonishing capacity to take people up emotionally, up, down, up, down, up, down, and whoosh them through the ceiling at the end of it, and to get them to um absorb really important life lessons along the way. So I had an extraordinary coach to start with that I didn't really even know was a coach. And um I, you know, I wish I could say I struggled and I overcame hurdles and but I didn't. I think I was just meant to be a speaker, and I've had this extraordinarily blessed career. So, career-wise, it's all been amazing. Personal-wise, not so much, and that's where if you like it, will tie into our hero's journey, uh heroine's journey a bit more. Um, because I I just trucked along in Australia and I was one of the most popular speakers they had, and life was great, and I was making lots of money, and and uh I had a friend who was my best friend and my accountant at the time who turned out to be not so much of a friend really, and uh took me to the cleaners. So I'm forever, forever grateful to America because I came to Australia at that America at that time, and I had just been to see a bankruptcy trustee. And um, because this guy really took me to the I mean I lost about three million dollars, which I never earned again.
SPEAKER_01Well, hopefully he got his just desserts.
SPEAKER_02Oh no, no, no, no. No, no, he sued me uh and lost, of course, but I lost another 300,000 fighting the case, and they lost, but then they went bankrupt, so I got nothing. But it was a great lesson, one that I would love never to repeat, uh, which had me rocking in a corner, sobbing one New Year's Eve. I remember that, but I can't remember much else around it. But suffice to say, I didn't think that I could afford to come to America. And I had already been booked for a number of speaking jobs, but my my personal assistant at the time said, you have to go. So I came and Lord Dee Lordie, was I blessed by the universe. I spoke at Million Dollar Round Table for the first time and a number of other events, meeting planners, um international, meeting professionals international, I think. I think it was meeting planners at the time. And literally I was in front of audience, the perfect audience for a speaker. So I I didn't just slowly squeak into America, I was launched by a rocket, and I was incredibly blessed. So I had about nine amazing years here, and during which time I got married to an Australian who flew over here to marry me. And uh then we went back to Australia because he was having grandchildren, and I returned to the States about three years ago. And it's a very it's a very different environment, as as it would be for everyone post-COVID. But again, it's been an astonishing experience. So I guess in terms of the heroin, it's um how did I pick up from losing everything, rocking in a corner, to being uh amazingly gratefully successful in the States to going back to Australia, getting divorced again, and uh coming back. So moving countries three times.
SPEAKER_01You many, you know, and there isn't just one heroine's journey in your life, there's many, and you've been on many. I mean, every time you cross a threshold, imaginary or real, into a new environment or new situation, that's a that's a journey, and you have good things happen and bad things happen, and yeah, but you grow and you learn, and you've been growing and learning a lot. Tell me though, what's a million-dollar round table table?
SPEAKER_02MDRT is uh a global conference held in the states for life insurance salespeople, and it's their million-dollar achievers. It's it's an extraordinary event. I mean, uh I had an incredible time. It was in San Francisco, it was one of the things I really do remember. And I don't know, I just happened to be the right person at the right time for them, and I had an amazing response from the audience. I mean, they I felt like a rock star, you know, they wouldn't stop clapping, and and I wasn't allowed off the stage. And for for the whole four days afterwards, people were driving around in double-decker buses in San Francisco screaming at me and saying things I talked about. I mean, it was it was I felt like pink or someone like that.
SPEAKER_01So, Amanda, tell because then people are wondering, well, what does she talk about? So, what could it be that she would say that would have such a response? And can you just give us a what should the highlights of what you talk about to people?
SPEAKER_02Well, one of the differences between me and and a lot of American speakers is that I don't have a set speech. So I have hundreds of chunks of information. I literally mix and match. So when you heard me the second time, you you could have you would have heard similar concepts, um, but it's different because I spent 30 years studying with a man called Michael Grinder, who's the world's leading authority on nonverbal communication, I believe. And Michael taught me about the process of communicating, not just the content. So the content has to be relevant, appropriate, up to date. It's the process that's the magic that makes things memorable. So it's never one set thing, but there's a few elements that I include most of the time for the first time that I speak to a group. Um, obviously I change it the second and third times. But um probably one of the core messages that's consistent is that 95 to 99% of the time we're literally unconscious of what we're thinking. And just recently I came up with this new thing that I love that kind of encapsulates a lot of the things I'm talking about. And it's page, P-A-I-J-E. So it's it's time for us to turn the page. And page stands for it's linked into thinking, it stands for perception, because we don't see reality, we perceive it through our own classes, and then and um uh and then we uh assume uh something about what we've seen, what we've perceived, not seen, and then we interpret what we've assumed and perceived, then we judge it, and then we have an expectation about it. Yeah, and and we will get what we expect, doesn't matter what it is, right? So our thinking comes from our perception as well, because again, we don't see. So that's the reason 95 to 95 percent is so unconscious, and before we know it, it's happening in seconds. We've perceived, assumed, interpreted, judged, and had an expectation.
SPEAKER_01And we don't communicate as a result because we're not getting through that.
SPEAKER_02Well, we're not communicating with ourselves to say, whoa, stop. Now, what's really going on here? What are all the energies that are actually involved? Remembering that within nanoseconds I've already perceived, uh assumed, interpreted, judged, and got an expectation. So it's that ability to pause, and that's why listening is so important because most people are hopeless at listening, most people are listening for the gap in the other person's conversation. They jump in, yeah, with what they're already formulating to say in their mind, so they actually haven't listened to a thing, nor have they paid attention to everything else that's going on while this person is actually talking. So that's that's one of the things about becoming an observer of your thinking and what you're actually saying to yourself, because your joy or misery or whatever state you're feeling is determined by what you say to yourself, pretty much. The self-talk, yeah. And we're not really aware of it. And the one thing I do say in almost every presentation is that the most important thing in life is how you feel about yourself, because that affects everything you do, every interaction, every relationship, every job moment, everything, every family moment. If you don't feel good about yourself, then whatever comes out is not your best. And it determines the second most important thing, which is how everyone else feels around you. And so all the things that tie into how you feel about yourself, which then determines how others feel around you. You know, if you stop for a minute and you just think of the person you love to be around, well, the person you love to be around isn't self-absorbed. They're the person that help you feel good about yourself, they're the person you know you can go to and talk endlessly when something's bothering you, and they won't judge you, and they will hear you, and they will support you, and all of those things that are just no-brainers that we forget. We forget we're interacting with other humans. And there isn't a human alive, including sociopaths, who don't want to be seen, heard, valued, acknowledged, and recognized. That's how sociopaths get to be sociopaths, I suspect.
SPEAKER_01Those things. So, what do you do as your own self to help you work with those immediate things that we tend to put on people and the judging? And what do you do to help you pause?
SPEAKER_02Um, lots of different things. One is to be conscious of being present. So are you in the present moment actually listening to that person? Or are you thinking, I can't believe she said that? God, that's so rude. Wow. Well, I don't agree with that, and I can't believe she supports that political party. Meanwhile, the other person's talking, but you're like, whoa, geez, we so become an observer. Yeah and if you're observing, then when you hear yourself doing that, I like the phrase stop it. So just say to yourself, stop it, be present and listen. That's one. And then another is to go immediately to gratitude if I'm not there. It's like gratitude is the joy switch, you know, it's the it's the fast track to joy. And if you can find things for which to be grateful, then it reframes everything. For example, during COVID, I fell madly in love. Now I I think I was, I don't know, how long ago is COVID? Four years, seven years. I was 68 or something like that. And I fell madly in love. I didn't think I could ever fall in love again. And uh I did with this guy that I'd known for about 30 years. And, you know, when I first met him, there was a spark, but he was married with children, so of course nothing would happen. However, we'd stayed in touch and I was a bit older, so I thought I was a mentor for him. Well, one January, just before COVID, he sends me a text, which, if there's a man listening to this, it's a really good line to use on a woman, hopefully you mean it, which said, Just so you know, I've been in love with you since the day we met. Well, I thought all my Christmases had come at once because, you know, in my mind, this guy was the perfect guy. He was all the things that we look for. And uh anyway, it was all fabulous for about I I can't even remember now, five or six months, until uh he rang me and uh in tears saying he was really sorry, but he had to tell me he'd been doing this with three other women or two other women, and he was actually more in love with one of the other women than me.
SPEAKER_01No way, that's the worst. I was worried you were gonna tell me somehow he took your bank account or something, but this is even worse.
SPEAKER_02This is worse. No, it was worse. And I was catatonic at the end of it. I seriously, I was catatonic. Now, if we backtrack on that, there were so many warning signs I missed. I chose not to look at. That's why it's important to be conscious. And it took me a while to get past the catatonic, then the sad, then the, but once I'd gotten past it, I was so grateful for the experience because first of all, I felt this intense love. Secondly, I had feelings I I thought were long, long gone. And thirdly, I guess it showed me that I could be strong, and uh and I learned really clearly this time to pay attention along the way. But I chose consciously to find gratitude for the experience. And really, it is the kind of door opener for joy. Um and if you want to hang on to bitterness and victim kind of mentality, you can. It's a choice you make. But I was listening to a man called Jonathan Ashford. I started listening probably a year ago now. A friend of mine knew him, it was his cousin. And Jonathan is a man who died for three hours and came back to life. And his core message from that period of time over there was to consciously choose love over judgment. Well, I've talked about fear forever, and for me, it's choose love over fear, because I think judgment comes from fear. Jonathan thinks the reverse, but I I think it's a two-way street. And if we're frightened of something, we're going to judge it as bad. Um, and equally, if we judge something straight away, it can lead to fear. So I think it's two-way. But since that time, I have of course I've been conscious of judgment and trying to stop judging much for for decades, really.
SPEAKER_01Very ingrained.
SPEAKER_02Yes. However, I made a really, really conscious effort to start paying attention to how much I was judging. And I was horrified. I mean, I couldn't even walk down the street without thinking, I'd called it thinking, um, wow, that's an unusual outfit. Oh gosh, wow, he's tall, she's short. I mean, all of these things I'm thinking shit, that's a judgment. Oh my god, that's a judgment. And so I've really consciously been catching myself and then choosing to love something, choosing to see the divine in whatever it is, whether it's a thing. Or a human, because everything is created by source. And then that's the other very big significance in my life lately. Paul Selig and his books. So Paul Selig's a conscious channel who channels a group called the Guides. And the messages in those books are also extraordinary. And essentially they say that the number one sin is the fact that we believe we're separate. Because everything is connected to us. And that's of course in quantum physics too. But they their kind of language is the divine is in everything. Everything and everyone. And if if we just from the human side or animals, I mean we we see more of the divine in animals than we do.
SPEAKER_01We do, we do. They show it a lot better a lot of times than we do. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Yes. And I think that's probably one of the reasons people are so attached to their dogs here.
SPEAKER_01It's amazing.
SPEAKER_02Um because we love our dogs, yes. Holy gosh, yes, you do. And and I, you know, I'm guessing it's because the dog really does have unconditional love.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02A little bit less, maybe.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02But you know, humans respond to that love. Because no matter what you think, other humans and animals pick up what you're thinking.
SPEAKER_01I believe it. And as a feeling, as the the energy from that yes, I agree. From the thoughts. Every thought has a vibration.
SPEAKER_02It does. Right. And it emanates out. So if you're, I can't remember at the main event this year. I don't think I had uh used this metaphor before, but did we talk about the concentric circles? And in the center is love. That's who you are.
SPEAKER_01Yes. You drew it on the yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I think that was new from last year. It's something that came to me while I was on stage. So I think it'll be helpful because you know, the heroine's journey is kind of uh this chart. So when you're think of concentric circles, okay? So in the center circle is you when you're born, pure love. Now, you know, babies don't pop out and they're angry, bitter, and twisted. They don't do that. They come out, they poop, they cry, but they're love, they're completely dependent on you, but they are pure love. And you don't get to see the pure love till they're toddlers and they hurl themselves towards you when you walk in the door at night, arms open wide, screaming mummy or daddy, at which point your heart explodes with joy and love. And so babies are born love. That's you, every single one of you watching or listening, you are love at your core. That's who you are. And then the next circle is the years of zero to seven. And we know from epigenetics that between zero and seven, a a baby toddler's brain is in theta waves pattern. And that means they're basically hypnotized. And consider toddlers have zero capacity to perceive what's going on around them without it being about them. Everything when you're a toddler is about you. That's just there's no other option. It's about you. So whatever goes on around you, you interpret as a toddler and you tell yourselves a story about what's just happened. So uh a brother does something and hurts you. A parent yells at you. Now, you don't have the capacity to say, oh, my brother didn't mean to do that. He just knocked me over as he walked by because he didn't see me. You don't think, oh, mommy and daddy are exhausted because I haven't slept for three weeks and they haven't either. That doesn't happen. What happens is that you instantly, as a toddler, tell yourself the story, I'm not worth loving, or I'm not good enough. Or the second one is I'm unsafe in some way, which is very common when you have alcoholic parents or mentally unwell parents. But it doesn't just have to be the parents. This can be anyone in your environment. And the third one is I'm separate, I don't belong, I don't fit in. And those three core fears are stories we tell ourselves as toddlers, and they are repeated so often they become a belief. And it's as if when we're born, that little bundle of love, that core essence of love that you are, is like a perfect state-of-the-art computer. And it has all the bells and whistles, and it's run on a source code, S-O-U-R-C-E. That next circle, the fears that are embedded, are like malware. So the malware gets inserted into the perfect computer and it corrupts the code. And then every other aspect of your life, every relationship, every job, every interaction is run on the corrupted code, not the source code.
SPEAKER_01And beautiful. That's a wonderful metaphor. Yes.
SPEAKER_02It's great, isn't it? And in retrospect, I didn't know it at the time, but the book is kind of the malware removal program. And yeah, and honestly, I didn't know it at the time because I basically channeled the book, and I hope your listeners aren't horrified. But I tried to write a book. I knew I had to write a book on joy. I had tried to write the book, I had no problem in the past writing books, I could not write this book. Then my mother died, and I was devastated. And I woke up one morning, maybe two months after she died, and I had this vision dream thing. I I I didn't normally get them, but it was very, very vivid. And her mom said to me, I'm going to put together a writing committee. You go downstairs and meditate, and we will download the book to you. And I'm like, What? Okay, well, nothing else has worked. I'll try it. So I went and I didn't even meditate that often. I knew how to do it, but I didn't do it very often. So I went downstairs and I meditated and I walked into the office afterwards and I typed out 30 pages. And the book, which as you said, is a fat book, was done in about five or six weeks, like 300 pages. And I don't, I didn't reference anything else. I I didn't look at anything, I just typed, and my fingers moved over the keyboard. And it isn't honestly, Susanna, it's not until this moment while we were talking that it came to me that that book is in essence the malware removal program. And so thanks, Mom.
SPEAKER_01Really? And how many, you know? I think you said every chapter took you about two days. There are 12 chapters. Um, and each one is a different technique for the removal: gratitude, compassion, hope, listening, laughter, love.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. And you know, I didn't, I don't know much about joy at the time. I'd be pretty miserable most of the uh time, really. But the good news is, you know, Loud Zoo said we teach best what we most need to learn. So I've been teaching it for a while. And joy comes in so many different flavors. And I suspect, because the last chapter when I first wrote the book was called Equanimity, but nobody knew what equanimity was. So I had to change the name in the you know next version, and we changed it to Inner Peace. And I thought that, and again, it took me a while to realize it's the longest chapter. And I realized, I don't know how long after I've written the book, uh, that it was really the accumulation or the way to integrate all the previous chapters. And really, I I believe I'm getting to the point at 72 where I'm I'm beginning to think joy is actually inner peace. Because from that place of inner peace, it allows you to use your wisdom to review what's going on, and it gives you the capacity to consciously choose to love everyone, no matter what, to not judge, to allow yourself to break out, laugh, play, have fun, but also to appreciate and enjoy, be in joy, when you learn to be still, which is another lesson that I learned. Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you this. So in February this year, one of the reasons we couldn't do the interview was because I got a virus and I lost my voice. Right, right, you and my hearing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And it was like overnight becoming deaf and mute.
SPEAKER_01And you're a major speaker, and that's how you make your way in the world, and you can't, yeah, definitely okay.
SPEAKER_02So God slash universe slash source said, Oh, look, she's not really learning what she's meant to be learning. Let's take away her voice and her hearing. It's my hearing's still not right. Um, in fact, I canceled an appointment with the ENT for next week, but I think it's slowly improving. However, I I lost them for a month. A month of I had to catch a train back from California instead of fly, and that took 50 hours. 50 hours of people who are very eager to talk to you, and you have to say, and then they would whisper back at me. It's the most amazing thing. You whisper at someone, they whisper back, and and I I then I'd have to say like I I couldn't even hear YouTube with earplugs in. So I was forced into silence, and I was forced into learning how to be, which was a lesson that I needed to learn. But the reason I share that story is because uh since then I have found I can go to the lake and I can sit by the lake and think nothing. And I can observe and appreciate and feel the wind and be grateful for the wind. Um in fact, I there's a video on YouTube called Taiu Tao, T-A-Y-A-U-T-A-U, and it's the Japanese art of gazing. And it's actually a beautiful video, but I found that I have learned to gaze. And what it's Tay Tao says is that you gaze and you just be, and eventually you become one with whatever it is that you're gazing at, clouds in the sky. It's why watching a fireplace is so soothing. A fire in a fireplace, I should say, not just the fireplace, but when you watch the fire crackling and burning, there's very few people that don't love that, or watch the waves crashing on the beach, or ripples on a pond, the raindrops coming down your window. Right.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02All of that is tau tower where you're gazing and your mind stills and you be.
SPEAKER_01So what I'm taking away, and there's so much here, and I could allow you to ask you, continue on for another hour. And I know that I've only captured you for so long, so I we're gonna have to bring this to some sort of a close. But for me, when you talk about Page, your acronym, right, and you said we immediately do all those things, and and I said, then what do we do to stop? And you said, Well, say stop it when you particularly when you're talking about judging, but it's sort of putting space, you're be what you're doing and finding inner peace and being able to witness you put space in between what's happening and your reaction, so you have time to think about how do I want to react to this. Not like that's a lot of time, but when I'm not paying attention and when I'm not listening well, I'm just reacting, reacting quickly. And that it seems like what you're talking about gives us more freedom to just pause and think about how we want to react. Would you does that make sense in what you're talking about?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and and you know, it's a bit like everyone knows they should eat better, exercise more, meditate more, and they don't. Pausing is another one of those things. We all know that we shouldn't react, that we shouldn't just immediately blah to a thing, and we know we need to pause, we just don't often do it. And so it's, I think it you're right, 100%. It's the consciousness to stop and pause and then respond. It's the consciousness to wait till the other person has finished speaking before you're posing your answer. It's like wait till they finish, then you have the whole picture sort of. And then it's okay to wait. To one of Michael's um techniques was to, you know, look down and be thinking about what they're saying, but count to five and then respond. So that's just like a little technique, because when we say to people, oh, meditate or pause, or you know, they're they're kind of big phrases and they're not overly specific. And humans tend not to do things unless it's like pretty specific to start with. So let's say wait till someone finishes speaking, consider what they've said, both with your heart and your brain, count to five, and then respond from your heart. Because when you respond from your heart, it will always be laced with love, and that will always make it a much better interaction.
SPEAKER_01So, Amanda, I think everybody listening right now knows why I pursued you for over a year to come speak with us because I feel it in my heart, what you're saying from your heart, and that's priceless, isn't it?
SPEAKER_02Thank you. Yeah, it is, and that's what we're all missing, you know, in the age of AI and phones, and you know, I'm I'm ashamed to say it, but uh, and I'm getting myself out of the habit. But I would choose texting someone over speaking to them on the phone. Now, how atrocious is that in terms of communication and what we're doing to ourselves, you know, we're we're avoiding interhuman contact.
SPEAKER_01And I think that particular one is because, well, talking would take more time, and it's so much easier for them to see and then respond than oh, we would get in a big conversation and I'd have to ask about her family and my yeah. I know, I know.
SPEAKER_02And and that that is not a smart move. We need to be reconnecting because with AI, it's worse and worse. And you know, we talk about we go, oh, AI, technology, phones, blah, blah, blah. But the truth is, it is destroying communication, it is destroying connection. And if we don't make a conscious effort to rise above the, oh well, I haven't got time. You know what? Make the time every day, make some time because loneliness is endemic. I've just been looking at creating some kind of app, and I'm trying to work out what's the best like thing to nail into. And one of them was connection because we're all so disconnected. And but you know, again, you're talking about connection, but here's an app talking about connection.
SPEAKER_01I know, I know. So I'm thinking I know a few people that still write letters.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And you know, you watch these shows and movies about the revolutionary war times or civil war times, or Jane Austen, and they're writing their letters, and then the person, you know, and it takes days to get to the other person, but those letters are so precious, right? So yeah, I don't know. I don't know where this is taking us, but maybe just the fact that we're talking about the importance of connection, people will find a way in their day to maybe I'll call somebody instead of texting.
SPEAKER_02Um, yeah, it's well, you know, go back to judgment, consciously choosing judgment or fear over love, because that uh thought, uh, if I call them and you know that I have to ask about their families and they talk for a long time, that's a fear of not having enough time. And any decision you make in fear is going to come back to bite you on the butt.
SPEAKER_01Right, right.
SPEAKER_02So what you're actually choosing is fear over love. Now, if you chose love for yourself and love for someone else, you would probably make the phone call and say, you know, Mary, I've only got five minutes, but I wanted to hear your voice because I've missed you. Mary would feel fantastic. And you can preface it and say, I have, I can't, I can't share with you what I've been doing lately because it'll take too long. I would love to ask you about it, but let's make a time when we've both got time or when I have more time. I just want to call you to hear your voice.
SPEAKER_01You know? So that might be what I'm gonna ask you to um leave as your final piece of wisdom, but it's not because I'm gonna ask you one more question. One more question. Look at all that you've shared with us today. And there are people out there who are feeling like they have no time and they have to get back to work or whatever it is they're doing, and they've taken in all this information, but how are they ever gonna remember it all? If you could tell them, okay, I'm good with that. Here's the one thing I want you to make sure you remember and not forget about what I said today.
SPEAKER_02Um, well, it's one thing, but it's a double whammy. Okay. Uh just two things at the same time. Uh, consciously choose love over fear. And that means you actually have to be conscious of what you're thinking, and you have to go to that witness position to assess am I doing this out of fear? It doesn't take more than five nanoseconds, but consciously as you go through the rest of today and the rest of your lives, be aware. Am I choosing love or fear? Am I making this decision out of love or fear? That'll change everything.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Wow. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you, Susannah.
SPEAKER_01Listen, Amanda, this is I'm so appreciative of you taking the time to do this with me. And we're going to put your, well, tell me the best way for people to get in touch with you is is email, is that right?
SPEAKER_02Or it's easier for me. I mean, I have a YouTube channel, it's Amanda Gore TV. I'd love you to subscribe. Um, and I have I have all the social media, but the truth is, if you go on my social media, I don't actually do it. I have something else do it because I just don't like it. And so if you really want to communicate with me, my email is Amanda at amandagore.com or my website, amandagore.com. But the YouTube channel gives you tons and tons of videos that you can use to reinforce what we said today.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02Uh, and I would hope I hope that would help them and give them some more stuff to work with.
SPEAKER_01And they could see more of what I have seen when you're up on the stage. And yes, so okay, Amandagore.com, and um we will find you there, and hopefully you'll talk to us again sometime.
SPEAKER_02I would love to, Susanna, and thank you. I'm sorry I was so tricky to catch, but thank you for this opportunity.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you're very welcome. All right, everyone, thank you for being with us, and we are thrilled that you could join us. And we'll see you next month.
SPEAKER_00Yay. Thank you for joining us for this episode of the Podcast for Real Life Heroines. Your time and presence mean the world to us. If you're hungry for more inspiration and ready to craft your own heroin story, connect with Susanna outside of the show. Visit Susanalillard.com to discover her courses and programs designed to empower you on your journey. Until next time, may your days be filled with the courage and strength of a true heroine. Stay inspired.