WEBVTT 00:00:07.919 --> 00:00:14.160 I'm gonna read the word for us, Proverbs 31, verses 10 to the end of the chapter. 00:00:15.679 --> 00:00:18.879 An excellent wife, who can find? 00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:22.079 She's far more precious than jewels. 00:00:22.559 --> 00:00:27.440 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 00:00:27.760 --> 00:00:31.920 She does him good and not harm, all the days of her life. 00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:35.520 She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands. 00:00:35.679 --> 00:00:37.840 She is like the ships of the merchant. 00:00:37.920 --> 00:00:39.280 She brings her food from afar. 00:00:39.439 --> 00:00:44.560 She rises while it's yet night, and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 00:00:44.799 --> 00:00:47.039 She considers the field and buys it. 00:00:47.200 --> 00:00:50.000 With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. 00:00:50.159 --> 00:00:53.280 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 00:00:53.520 --> 00:00:59.200 She perceives that her merchandise is pros profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 00:00:59.439 --> 00:01:03.439 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. 00:01:03.679 --> 00:01:06.959 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. 00:01:07.120 --> 00:01:12.319 She's not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed in scarlet. 00:01:13.040 --> 00:01:15.519 She makes bed coverings for herself. 00:01:15.680 --> 00:01:18.319 Her clothing is fine linen and purple. 00:01:18.799 --> 00:01:23.519 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. 00:01:23.760 --> 00:01:25.680 She makes linen garments and sells them. 00:01:25.760 --> 00:01:27.760 She delivers sashes to the merchants. 00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:30.079 Strength and dignity are her clothing. 00:01:30.319 --> 00:01:32.400 She laughs at the time to come. 00:01:33.120 --> 00:01:38.480 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 00:01:38.799 --> 00:01:40.400 She looks to the ways of her household. 00:01:40.480 --> 00:01:42.400 She does not eat the bread of idleness. 00:01:42.719 --> 00:01:45.040 Her children rise up and call her blessed. 00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:47.760 Her husband also, and he praises her. 00:01:48.239 --> 00:01:53.200 Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. 00:01:54.079 --> 00:01:55.359 Charm is deceitful. 00:01:56.000 --> 00:02:01.439 Beauty is vain, but a woman who fears Yahweh is to be praised. 00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:08.159 Give her the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates. 00:02:08.879 --> 00:02:11.039 This is the word of God. 00:02:11.360 --> 00:02:15.360 And I pray that you would be encouraged by what we find here. 00:02:15.840 --> 00:02:20.879 Dieter and I used to serve in college ministry back in a previous life. 00:02:21.439 --> 00:02:30.319 And it was common for us to counsel college students who were engaged or on the cuss of being married or dating, and they were confused. 00:02:30.400 --> 00:02:31.199 They had questions. 00:02:31.360 --> 00:02:34.479 Questions like, How do I know she's the one? 00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:39.039 It's the mythical and mystical doctrine of the one. 00:02:39.759 --> 00:02:53.919 The idea that God has one person for you to marry whose identity is carefully guarded by the angels, and you have no way of discerning, and you could marry the wrong person and ruin your life. 00:02:54.560 --> 00:03:00.639 And so we would walk college students through what it means to know who you're supposed to marry and how to know. 00:03:00.719 --> 00:03:01.199 And you know what? 00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:06.000 God does have one person for you to marry, and it's very easy to identify that person. 00:03:06.719 --> 00:03:08.400 Did you marry her? 00:03:11.039 --> 00:03:16.080 And if the answer is yes, behold, you have discovered the hidden will of God in your life. 00:03:16.400 --> 00:03:17.599 She's the one. 00:03:18.960 --> 00:03:21.360 Anything beyond that gets more complicated. 00:03:21.520 --> 00:03:36.800 There was one particular couple that was we were meeting with in our apartment, and they had been dating for a while, and we actually didn't I thought they were a good fit for each other, but they had decided to call it off, and we asked why, and the answers we got were along these lines. 00:03:36.960 --> 00:03:39.039 I have them written down to this very day. 00:03:39.360 --> 00:03:42.639 She uses Mac and he uses PC. 00:03:43.520 --> 00:03:44.400 Now you laugh. 00:03:44.639 --> 00:03:48.560 That is a problem because in your text messages, if you get the green bubbles, it's all over. 00:03:49.840 --> 00:03:51.199 I'm just saying. 00:03:51.919 --> 00:03:54.080 She likes salad, he likes steak. 00:03:54.400 --> 00:03:58.240 She would rather stay in a nice hotel room and he go camping. 00:03:58.400 --> 00:04:05.360 And it was at that point, I'm like, you know, all this means is that she is a woman and you are a man. 00:04:05.759 --> 00:04:08.719 That's about the end of that difference right there. 00:04:11.919 --> 00:04:16.959 They ended up marrying other people and having kids and having happy lives by God's providence. 00:04:17.199 --> 00:04:21.519 You know what's better than a list of compatibility things like that is Proverbs 31. 00:04:21.680 --> 00:04:32.160 Proverbs 31 is given in the Word of God as instruction from a mother to her son, telling her son, I don't want you to mess up your life. 00:04:32.319 --> 00:04:34.720 Go marry a woman like this. 00:04:36.560 --> 00:04:41.439 Proverbs 31 is from the mouth of the queen mother, King Lemuel. 00:04:41.519 --> 00:04:43.279 His mom is instructing him. 00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:50.399 His mom here, who is uh concerned about the way he's living, you can tell that from the tone of verse 2. 00:04:50.560 --> 00:04:51.600 What are you doing, oh my son? 00:04:52.240 --> 00:04:53.279 Like, are you out of your mind? 00:04:53.439 --> 00:04:54.319 What are you doing? 00:04:54.560 --> 00:05:01.120 Why are you giving away your strength to strange women and dissipating your strength with wine? 00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:05.360 Instead, put the wine away and speak up for the rights of the poor. 00:05:05.839 --> 00:05:10.879 And now she's encapsulating that instruction with marry the right kind of person. 00:05:11.360 --> 00:05:15.439 It's not the doctrine of the one, it's the you're dissipating your strength. 00:05:15.759 --> 00:05:20.399 Back up earlier in the verse, verse 3, you're dissipating your strength with strange women. 00:05:20.560 --> 00:05:22.959 Why don't you marry a godly person? 00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:26.079 Now Lemuel is the king of an area named Masa. 00:05:26.240 --> 00:05:27.920 That's an area just outside of Israel. 00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:30.399 That's in the Hebrew in chapter 31, verse 1. 00:05:30.480 --> 00:05:31.680 It doesn't make it in the ESV. 00:05:31.839 --> 00:05:36.240 The ESV just says the king, the words of King Lemuel, but the Hebrew says, you know, of Masah. 00:05:36.639 --> 00:05:38.959 It's an area mentioned a few times in the Old Testament. 00:05:39.040 --> 00:05:48.079 It's Israel adjacent, so he's familiar with, both he and his mother are familiar with Solomon and his writings and the wisdom of God that is contained there. 00:05:48.240 --> 00:05:57.759 And so it's appropriate for the book of Proverbs to close out with instruction from this queen mother to her son, go marry a person like this. 00:05:59.600 --> 00:06:01.519 It fits in the flow of the book of Proverbs. 00:06:01.680 --> 00:06:04.959 You remember, Proverbs begins with an invitation to pursue wisdom. 00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:10.240 Proverbs 8 describes lady wisdom and a sense of God incarnate. 00:06:10.399 --> 00:06:13.759 Wisdom is the second person of the Trinity through which God created the world. 00:06:14.240 --> 00:06:18.879 And so the beginning of Proverbs says, you know, it's a it's a dad speaking to his son. 00:06:19.040 --> 00:06:21.680 Why don't you aim for wisdom, son? 00:06:21.920 --> 00:06:25.839 Proverbs 2, wisdom is, it'll require fighting for, but it's beautiful. 00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:28.560 Proverbs 3, wisdom is so beautiful you should marry it. 00:06:28.720 --> 00:06:30.879 Proverbs 4 is the marriage speech. 00:06:31.040 --> 00:06:34.079 Proverbs 5 through 7, don't commit adultery with wisdom. 00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:38.079 Proverbs 8 is when you're in a relationship with wisdom, you're in a relationship with God. 00:06:38.240 --> 00:06:39.920 Proverbs 9, not everybody chooses this. 00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:41.439 Some people go to hell instead. 00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:45.120 Proverbs 10 through 29 is what the life of wisdom looks like. 00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:52.000 Proverbs 30 is the limits of wisdom, and then Proverbs 31 brings it back to earth, and it's no longer the dad speaking. 00:06:52.079 --> 00:06:59.839 Now it's the mom speaking, and the mom tells them, you'll marry, you want a wise life, you've adopted the invitation of chapter 1. 00:06:59.920 --> 00:07:03.920 You want to pursue wisdom, you want to fall in love with wisdom, you want to marry wisdom. 00:07:04.160 --> 00:07:08.560 What this looks like now is go actually marry somebody godly. 00:07:09.519 --> 00:07:11.519 That's the concluding charge. 00:07:11.839 --> 00:07:18.079 And that's why it ends the book of Proverbs with this challenge to marry a godly person. 00:07:18.240 --> 00:07:21.920 Now, because of this, not a lot of sermons are preached in Proverbs 31. 00:07:22.000 --> 00:07:27.360 I talked to somebody uh after first service who said they had never seen this in the Bible before. 00:07:27.439 --> 00:07:28.639 They didn't know this passage was here. 00:07:28.720 --> 00:07:31.600 And man, what a cool jewel to discover, isn't it? 00:07:32.079 --> 00:07:33.920 Come across this in your Bible reading. 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:34.959 Whoa, I did no idea. 00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:35.680 This is incredible. 00:07:35.839 --> 00:07:37.199 The description of a godly woman. 00:07:37.279 --> 00:07:40.399 But because of that, this passage has been attacked by feminists. 00:07:40.480 --> 00:07:51.439 You know, feminists tear down this passage and say, you know, the only way for women to have value and dignity is for them to excel in the spheres reserved for men, or for women to have true value and beauty. 00:07:51.519 --> 00:07:52.639 They have to be like men. 00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:56.879 That's how I would describe feminism, and that undercuts Proverbs 31. 00:07:57.439 --> 00:08:03.920 And of course, without going down the feminist road, it's still a complicated passage because of how intricate it is and how personal it is. 00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:07.759 And so a lot of people just avoid it or don't teach it. 00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:15.600 Alex Haregrove famously said, of all of the Proverbs, Proverbs 31 is the last. 00:08:17.680 --> 00:08:18.560 And you know what? 00:08:18.639 --> 00:08:20.160 There is a lot of wisdom there. 00:08:20.319 --> 00:08:21.759 A lot of wisdom. 00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:29.120 And so we're gonna navigate this description of what kind of wife is fit for a king together. 00:08:29.279 --> 00:08:31.360 Now, before we do this, a reminder. 00:08:32.159 --> 00:08:35.519 Proverbs is wisdom, not law. 00:08:35.679 --> 00:08:48.480 I've been preaching through Proverbs Sunday night, and so I've been talking about that in the evenings, but I want to reiterate it because if you enter Proverbs as if Proverbs is law, you will be confused and discouraged by a passage like this. 00:08:48.720 --> 00:08:52.240 So you'll encounter this and you'll think, oh, my life doesn't measure up. 00:08:52.320 --> 00:08:54.799 And that's not the right approach to wisdom. 00:08:55.120 --> 00:09:01.919 To help you understand the difference between wisdom and law, consider this Ephesians 5, 18, do not be drunk with wine. 00:09:02.159 --> 00:09:03.840 So that's law, that's a command. 00:09:03.919 --> 00:09:05.440 If you break that command, you're sinning. 00:09:05.600 --> 00:09:06.960 If you're drunk with wine, you're sinning. 00:09:07.039 --> 00:09:07.840 Do not be drunk. 00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:08.559 That's law. 00:09:08.720 --> 00:09:10.240 There's no gray area. 00:09:10.559 --> 00:09:16.399 Wisdom is like Proverbs says: wine is a brawler, beer is a mocker. 00:09:16.960 --> 00:09:18.720 Bad company corrupts good morals. 00:09:18.799 --> 00:09:20.320 Those are wisdom principles. 00:09:20.559 --> 00:09:22.240 You can't make wisdom into law. 00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:25.519 You can't look at wisdom principles and say, okay, so two drink maximum. 00:09:25.759 --> 00:09:27.440 No drinking after 8:30 p.m. 00:09:27.840 --> 00:09:31.440 Your friends of the non-believer only hang out with them every other week. 00:09:31.919 --> 00:09:35.039 No, that's that's taking wisdom and making it law. 00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:40.000 Wisdom is designed to be applied to daily situations with wisdom. 00:09:40.159 --> 00:09:41.440 It's biblical principles. 00:09:41.600 --> 00:09:43.440 You use wisdom to apply to your life. 00:09:43.600 --> 00:09:44.720 That's wisdom. 00:09:44.960 --> 00:09:46.000 It's not law. 00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:48.080 You can keep the law and be a fool. 00:09:49.200 --> 00:09:50.000 That's the point. 00:09:50.080 --> 00:09:53.919 You cannot get drunk and still violate the wisdom principles of the Bible. 00:09:54.159 --> 00:09:59.840 And so, Proverbs 31, it's not a checklist for you to go down as if it were law, like yes, yes, yes. 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:00.799 It's not that. 00:10:00.960 --> 00:10:02.080 It's principles. 00:10:02.159 --> 00:10:08.639 And because of that, it's going to look different in your life than it does in King Lemuel's life. 00:10:08.799 --> 00:10:10.480 Lemuel is king. 00:10:10.799 --> 00:10:12.000 His mom is queen. 00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:13.679 He's going to marry the new queen. 00:10:13.919 --> 00:10:15.039 They're going to have servants. 00:10:15.120 --> 00:10:16.000 We're going to see their servants. 00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:21.360 They're going to have servants and slaves, and they have money, and they're in the ancient Near East, for example. 00:10:21.519 --> 00:10:23.759 You know, she's going to consider a field and buy it. 00:10:23.919 --> 00:10:29.759 The right way to exercise that is not in Fairfax County, you buying up every spare field, okay? 00:10:31.360 --> 00:10:35.519 It's going to look differently in your life, in your culture, in our world. 00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:39.759 But that's the nature of wisdom, it transcends cultures. 00:10:40.080 --> 00:10:46.559 And the wise person looks at the principles here and figures out how to apply them in their life now. 00:10:46.639 --> 00:10:53.120 And because it's wisdom and law and not law, that means it is about direction and not perfection. 00:10:53.600 --> 00:11:00.159 Don't try to obey Proverbs 31 by keeping all of it perfectly, because the law is designed to break you. 00:11:00.320 --> 00:11:04.240 Instead, engage with Proverbs 31 as what direction should I be looking. 00:11:04.399 --> 00:11:06.080 And to this is why it's important. 00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:19.440 If you're a college student or if you're in your 20s trying to decide who to marry and you take Proverbs 31, it's not going to work because a college student or another 22-year-old or whatever doesn't have the resources to do the things in this chapter. 00:11:19.759 --> 00:11:21.440 Like she's not a Proverbs 31 woman. 00:11:21.519 --> 00:11:23.039 She's hardly bought any real estate at all. 00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:25.600 I can't marry her. 00:11:26.799 --> 00:11:29.759 No, it's about the direction she's going in her life. 00:11:29.919 --> 00:11:34.559 Does she have these kind of principles and the character behind these kind of principles in her? 00:11:35.039 --> 00:11:35.759 That's the point. 00:11:35.840 --> 00:11:37.840 And so the we'll use an outline here. 00:11:38.080 --> 00:11:39.279 Wisdom is fruitful wife. 00:11:39.360 --> 00:11:44.960 And the first thing we see about wisdom's fruitful wife in verse 10 is that she's hard to find. 00:11:45.279 --> 00:11:46.480 She is so hard to find. 00:11:46.639 --> 00:11:48.720 Now, this is going to be an acrostic. 00:11:49.360 --> 00:11:53.679 Acrostic is a poem that moves A to Z through the alphabet. 00:11:53.840 --> 00:11:58.240 Every verse in the rest of Proverbs 31 goes through a subsequent letter, A, B, C, D, E, F, G. 00:11:58.480 --> 00:12:03.039 I know it doesn't follow that in English because it's written in Hebrew, and translation doesn't work like that. 00:12:03.279 --> 00:12:04.480 So don't get frustrated. 00:12:04.559 --> 00:12:07.519 Although they did a good job with verse 10, it starts with the letter A. 00:12:07.679 --> 00:12:08.399 An excellent wife. 00:12:08.720 --> 00:12:10.159 Good job, translators. 00:12:10.559 --> 00:12:13.279 But that's about all they get from that point forward. 00:12:13.840 --> 00:12:15.519 Why was you writing an acrostic? 00:12:15.600 --> 00:12:16.799 We don't use acrostics today. 00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:19.840 I mean, they're like in children's books, is where they are today. 00:12:20.159 --> 00:12:30.960 Acrostics are helpful for memorization, and acrostics are helpful to take a lot of information and channel it, make it more narrow and personable. 00:12:31.519 --> 00:12:45.279 There's something like 14 or 15 different acrostics in the Old Testament, and they all serve that function, to take a large group of material or a passionate, emotionate, uh, emotional uh content and bring it together in a way you can engage with it. 00:12:45.519 --> 00:12:47.120 And let me give you an example in English. 00:12:47.279 --> 00:12:53.919 If I said name animals, like you would start rattling off animals, and maybe you could get 15 or 20, and maybe you could get more, I don't know. 00:12:54.000 --> 00:12:58.399 Sometimes you lose brains freeze or whatever, and you wouldn't have a way of channeling all the animals in the world. 00:12:59.039 --> 00:13:05.440 But if I said name animals from A to Z, you would probably actually have a better success rate. 00:13:05.519 --> 00:13:09.600 You'd start working through and you're channeling all the animals into the alphabet alphabet. 00:13:09.919 --> 00:13:15.840 X-ray beta fish, by the way, if you're wondering, is what happens with the X, X-ray beta fish. 00:13:16.159 --> 00:13:18.720 I don't want you distracted thinking about that. 00:13:21.440 --> 00:13:25.360 That's the nature of wisdom in Proverbs 31. 00:13:25.519 --> 00:13:28.720 It's pulling it down and giving it to an alphabetical order. 00:13:28.799 --> 00:13:31.679 Because, hey, name things that a godly wife should have. 00:13:31.759 --> 00:13:33.039 What should a godly wife be like? 00:13:33.200 --> 00:13:35.200 Well, where would you even start? 00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:38.000 But you can start by going A to Z. 00:13:38.080 --> 00:13:40.559 That's what King Lemuel's mother does. 00:13:40.639 --> 00:13:42.159 And it will help her son memorize it. 00:13:42.240 --> 00:13:46.399 And that is important in verse 10 because it is hard to find an excellent wife. 00:13:46.639 --> 00:13:50.799 The very first thing she says is, This is going to be hard. 00:13:51.120 --> 00:13:54.399 These kind of godly women don't grow on trees. 00:13:54.879 --> 00:13:57.440 They're forged in the foundry of godliness. 00:13:57.519 --> 00:13:58.320 That's the idea. 00:13:58.799 --> 00:14:00.879 They're not everywhere. 00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:04.480 They're so rare and so precious. 00:14:04.960 --> 00:14:06.559 More precious than gold. 00:14:06.639 --> 00:14:07.519 And this is an idiom. 00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:10.559 It means we would bring it in English as worth their weight in gold. 00:14:10.720 --> 00:14:12.480 Except the Hebrew is more than that. 00:14:12.639 --> 00:14:15.440 They're worth more than their weight in gold. 00:14:16.159 --> 00:14:18.639 More precious, it says in verse 10, than jewels. 00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:21.600 The most precious things you can imagine. 00:14:21.759 --> 00:14:24.639 A godly wife is more valuable than them. 00:14:25.360 --> 00:14:27.440 And they're so hard to find. 00:14:27.600 --> 00:14:32.399 It seems like when a woman like that is available, she's snatched up and married away. 00:14:32.720 --> 00:14:34.399 Because they're so rare. 00:14:35.759 --> 00:14:36.559 So rare. 00:14:36.720 --> 00:14:46.159 Now, lest you think this is misogynistic or saying it's so hard to find a godly woman, there's just so many godly guys everywhere, you need to know Proverbs says the same thing about godly men. 00:14:46.639 --> 00:14:50.799 Proverbs 20, verse 6 many a man proclaims his own steadfast love. 00:14:51.519 --> 00:14:54.879 But an actual faithful guy, how a man, how hard is that to find? 00:14:55.039 --> 00:14:58.000 And it's the same Hebrew phrase that's used here in verse 10. 00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:06.080 There are guys that will tell you how faithful they are, how rich they are, how powerful they are, how godly they are, how cool they are, how funny they are. 00:15:06.240 --> 00:15:08.480 They'll just run their mouths, they'll tell you all those things. 00:15:08.639 --> 00:15:16.320 But when all the smoke clears, it is so hard to find a dude who's actually faithful to the Lord. 00:15:17.679 --> 00:15:19.440 And Proverbs 31. 00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:28.159 Before the smoke even fills the room, Lemuel's mom says right out the gate, it is so hard to find this kind of woman. 00:15:28.879 --> 00:15:29.679 What'd she like? 00:15:29.759 --> 00:15:31.679 Well, the heart of her husband trusts her. 00:15:32.159 --> 00:15:35.039 He will have no lack of gain. 00:15:36.639 --> 00:15:37.919 Her husband trusts her. 00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:43.919 In that world, when men go away on business trips, they would often lock up everything of value in their house, but not this guy. 00:15:44.159 --> 00:15:46.720 They think, I don't know if my wife could defend it from thieves. 00:15:46.799 --> 00:15:47.759 I don't know what she would do with it. 00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:48.559 Not this guy. 00:15:48.639 --> 00:15:52.320 He leaves everything unlocked because his wife is using it and investing it. 00:15:52.399 --> 00:15:55.120 When he gets back from his trip, look what it says in verse 11. 00:15:55.840 --> 00:15:56.720 He'll have gained something. 00:15:56.879 --> 00:15:59.519 He comes back from a trip, and there's new things in the house. 00:15:59.679 --> 00:16:02.320 His wealth is grown in his absence. 00:16:02.879 --> 00:16:04.639 And he trusts his wife completely. 00:16:04.879 --> 00:16:18.559 Teacher and I were at a uh uh social get-together in a neighborhood, majority not Christians, and a bunch of the couples were talking, and they were talking about how all of the wives have what they called running money. 00:16:18.799 --> 00:16:23.679 All of the wives, these guys were telling us, have a couple thousand dollars hidden in their house somewhere. 00:16:23.840 --> 00:16:27.039 So in case they ever need to grab it and get out of town, they've got the cash. 00:16:27.120 --> 00:16:29.200 And Dieter and I were looking at each other like, what? 00:16:29.279 --> 00:16:31.840 And this other guy's like, Jesse, every wife has that. 00:16:31.919 --> 00:16:33.440 You need to know that every wife has that. 00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:41.840 So we got home that night and I looked at Dieter and I'm like, is there a couple thousand dollars in her basement I don't know about? 00:16:42.799 --> 00:16:45.679 She said no, she has no running money. 00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:49.519 That's this in verse 11. 00:16:49.679 --> 00:16:51.519 They they trust each other. 00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:54.320 They have a confident relationship. 00:16:54.480 --> 00:16:59.840 Verse 12, she does him good and not harm all the days of her life. 00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:09.119 This is such a critical verse in marriage counseling, because so often there's conflict in marriage because the two uh spouses are viewing their spouse as their enemy. 00:17:09.279 --> 00:17:12.720 They think that that my husband or my wife is actually out to get me. 00:17:12.960 --> 00:17:18.240 And that creates a cycle of conflict and arguing that just gets settled in and entrenched. 00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:23.119 And in some couples, that in counseling, you wonder, like, do they actually like fighting all the time? 00:17:23.279 --> 00:17:26.000 Because it seems like that's what they're trying to do. 00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:29.519 And of course they don't, but they just don't trust each other. 00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:36.720 And it's an epiphany when you realize your spouse is actually trying to help you, not hurt you. 00:17:37.039 --> 00:17:45.519 In our first year of marriage, this is without an exaggeration, the biggest source of conflict Dee Jer and I had was uh scheduling things. 00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:49.759 She would have a list and she would say, Hey, you should you should get these people over for dinner. 00:17:49.839 --> 00:17:52.000 Uh did you send a thank you card to that person? 00:17:52.160 --> 00:17:55.039 You've got this ministry going on, we should meet with those small group leaders. 00:17:55.119 --> 00:17:58.079 Oh, our college ministry, we should schedule a retreat for the fall kind of thing. 00:17:58.160 --> 00:17:59.920 She'd have a list and she would be working through it with me. 00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:01.119 And I took those things personally. 00:18:01.200 --> 00:18:03.119 I would be like, I know how to send a thank you card. 00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:04.480 Thank you very much. 00:18:04.799 --> 00:18:05.839 Well, did you? 00:18:06.160 --> 00:18:06.400 No. 00:18:06.880 --> 00:18:08.720 Totally gonna do it tomorrow. 00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:12.880 You know, I know we need to schedule a retreat for the fall. 00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:14.720 I mean, we can do that in the summer. 00:18:14.880 --> 00:18:16.319 Um, kind of attitude. 00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:22.319 And it was honestly, I'm saying it in an amusing way, but in our first year, it was probably the biggest source of conflict in our marriage. 00:18:22.559 --> 00:18:29.519 And what changed was a kind of a switch in my mind where I realized she's trying to help. 00:18:29.759 --> 00:18:31.759 She's not trying to make my life harder. 00:18:31.920 --> 00:18:35.920 She is, if I were to listen to her, making my life easier. 00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:40.880 And once that changed in my mind, now there's more peace. 00:18:41.039 --> 00:18:47.200 Like I recognize we're partnering in this, and that's a silly little example from the first year of a marriage. 00:18:47.359 --> 00:18:50.079 I'm sure many of you have been married much longer than that. 00:18:50.160 --> 00:18:53.119 It's the same principle, though, you see all the time. 00:18:53.920 --> 00:18:55.920 Do you trust your wife? 00:18:56.240 --> 00:18:59.200 Is she working for your good or your harm? 00:18:59.359 --> 00:19:07.359 The Proverbs 31 woman is always working for, verse 12, the good of the of the husband. 00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:15.680 Now, from here, the rest of the chapter turns, and it turns into uh a pair of chiasms. 00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:21.359 A chiasm is a Hebrew poetry where the front and the end of it match, and the middle is the main point. 00:19:21.440 --> 00:19:30.400 It's hard for Americans to understand this because in our world you have the introduction and you have the conclusion, and the conclusion's the main point, and the middle stuff is just filler. 00:19:30.640 --> 00:19:34.960 You know, you might even know people that watch the movies with the beginning and the end, and they skip the whole middle part. 00:19:35.039 --> 00:19:37.039 We won't name those people, but they exist. 00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:41.200 The rest of Proverbs 31 is two across. 00:19:41.359 --> 00:19:44.000 I'm going to show it to you so you see how the main point is in the middle. 00:19:44.079 --> 00:19:46.480 But first, the wisdom's fruitful wife. 00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:49.519 You see it with the fruit of her hands. 00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:51.519 The fruit of her hands. 00:19:51.759 --> 00:19:55.920 The main point in this first acrostic is that her hands are fruitful. 00:19:56.000 --> 00:20:03.839 She's doing stuff, she's making things and buying things, and she's hard at work. 00:20:05.200 --> 00:20:10.400 Now I say it's an acrostic, so let me put it on the screen for for you to see this. 00:20:10.559 --> 00:20:19.599 And again, I don't normally, I don't think I've ever showed you my notes like this before, but this is a very visual thing, and I hope your eyes are able to see it because when you see it, it kind of pops out at you. 00:20:19.839 --> 00:20:23.519 This is the nature of the first of the two chiasms in Proverbs 31. 00:20:23.599 --> 00:20:31.359 And you see the first verse and the last verse on your screen match each other, the second and the second to last, and the third and third to last, and the middle verse is the main point. 00:20:31.440 --> 00:20:36.880 And so I'll walk you through, I think it's more profitable to go through this chapter in this structure than it is any other way. 00:20:37.039 --> 00:20:41.440 Verse 13, if you see it, she seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands. 00:20:41.599 --> 00:20:43.039 That's paired with verse 19. 00:20:43.119 --> 00:20:44.000 She puts her hands. 00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:45.839 Hands is the word that brings them together. 00:20:45.920 --> 00:20:48.319 So verse 13, and she's getting woolen flax. 00:20:48.480 --> 00:20:51.839 Verse 19, she's making stuff out of the woolen flax. 00:20:52.799 --> 00:20:59.039 That's just a throwaway line for us, but you have to appreciate working with wool and flax is hard work. 00:20:59.440 --> 00:21:02.000 I mean, what do you do to get wool? 00:21:02.240 --> 00:21:17.440 You gotta shear the sheep and you take the wool and then you've got to comb it out and you've got to sort it by its density, then you have to wash it and then you spin it and then you dye it, and then only then can you sew it together or use it for some domestic purpose. 00:21:17.519 --> 00:21:22.640 And flax, my goodness, for us, flax is something like hippies put in smoothies. 00:21:22.799 --> 00:21:24.720 That's what flax is in our world. 00:21:25.359 --> 00:21:35.599 But flax is like tall grass, and you've got you can't mow it, you've got to pull it by the root, and then you soak it in water, and then you dry it on your roof. 00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:40.240 And initially it's not gonna blow away because it's wet, but as it starts to dry, you've got to keep it from blowing away. 00:21:40.400 --> 00:21:51.759 And once it's all dried out, you separate the husk from it and you beat it out, and then you have this wood with a series of nails, and you pull it through the nails, and the nails pull out the flax from it. 00:21:51.839 --> 00:21:57.440 And what you're left with like was like hair in a brush, and you pull that out, and that's what you weave together. 00:21:57.599 --> 00:21:59.119 That is a lot of work. 00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:02.799 Notice in verse 13, she's doing it with willing hands. 00:22:02.960 --> 00:22:04.079 She's doing this herself. 00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:05.039 She's the queen. 00:22:05.200 --> 00:22:06.319 She has servants. 00:22:06.480 --> 00:22:11.279 She could farm this out, so to speak, but no, she's putting her own two hands to work. 00:22:11.839 --> 00:22:17.759 In verse 19, she's the one, it says, her hand is holding the distaff for the sewing there. 00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:19.519 Her hands are holding the spindle. 00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:24.799 She is getting the wool and she's making the clothes with her own two hands. 00:22:24.960 --> 00:22:28.960 Verse 14, she's like the ships of the merchant. 00:22:29.119 --> 00:22:30.559 She brings her food from afar. 00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:34.400 Verse 18, she perceives that her merchandise is profitable. 00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:40.000 So merchandise is the word that links those two together, and her lamp doesn't go out at night. 00:22:40.319 --> 00:22:44.960 She's like the ships of the merchant bringing her food from afar. 00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:49.119 So in her world, she's seeing the ships come in. 00:22:49.359 --> 00:22:51.680 Massa is inland, so she'd have to go to a port. 00:22:51.839 --> 00:22:56.960 She's seeing the ships come in, and different ships have different merchandise in it. 00:22:57.039 --> 00:22:59.519 And so she's aware of what's happening. 00:22:59.680 --> 00:23:03.759 She sees the ship from Greece and she's like, oh, there's olive oil. 00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:04.799 I'm getting that. 00:23:05.039 --> 00:23:13.200 She sees the boat coming in from Arabia and she's gonna go get her spices and the one from Egypt and she's gonna go get her bed sheets or something like that. 00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:18.240 She is seeing the ships and she knows what they sell that is good. 00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:20.240 So how do you Americanize this one? 00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:22.319 I mean, this is in your in your homes. 00:23:22.480 --> 00:23:31.119 This is the woman who says, I'm gonna get my produce at Giant and my meat at Costco and my cereal at Trader Joe's and my granola bar at Target kind of thing. 00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:33.119 She sees the ships. 00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:34.799 Do you see the Costco truck on the freeway? 00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:40.559 And she's like, she knows where to go for what. 00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:42.960 And she does it well. 00:23:43.680 --> 00:23:44.880 That's the point. 00:23:45.920 --> 00:23:49.839 So hard to find a woman like that, but she she does it and she's bringing food. 00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:53.440 In that world, food where it grew is where you sold it. 00:23:53.519 --> 00:23:59.039 So you had to work to get something unusual or different for your family, but that's what she's doing. 00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:01.279 Verse 15 pairs with verse 17. 00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:05.680 She rises while it's night and she dresses herself with strength. 00:24:06.240 --> 00:24:10.000 She provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 00:24:10.079 --> 00:24:12.319 She's making food for her family. 00:24:13.440 --> 00:24:15.039 She gets up while it's still dark. 00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:16.400 She's making the kids breakfast. 00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:19.440 They're going off to school with lunch that she packed them. 00:24:19.759 --> 00:24:20.799 She's got servants. 00:24:20.880 --> 00:24:22.559 She could have the servants pack the kids lunch. 00:24:22.720 --> 00:24:23.359 No, no. 00:24:23.599 --> 00:24:25.759 No servants making my kids lunch, she says. 00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:28.960 How does she have time to make the kids lunch before they go off to school? 00:24:29.119 --> 00:24:33.119 Because she gets up while it's still dark, is what it says in verse 15. 00:24:33.839 --> 00:24:40.720 And she doesn't just make lunch for her kids and breakfast for her family, she also makes food for her servants. 00:24:40.880 --> 00:24:42.880 How easy would it be to switch it? 00:24:43.599 --> 00:24:46.319 Tell the servants, would you bring me breakfast in my room? 00:24:46.559 --> 00:24:48.400 That's not what this woman does. 00:24:48.720 --> 00:24:54.160 She gets up early, makes her family food, and then makes the servants' food as well. 00:24:54.880 --> 00:24:56.480 That's just so much work. 00:24:56.880 --> 00:24:58.960 Verse 17 lets you know the result of it. 00:24:59.119 --> 00:25:01.039 Her arms are strong. 00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:07.359 This is the only mention of her physical appearance in the whole chapter. 00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:12.880 This is the only mention of what she actually looks like, and it focuses on her arms. 00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:20.240 She is ripped on the arms. 00:25:20.480 --> 00:25:31.759 Somebody showed me a picture between services of a uh like a hand weight that had Proverbs 31, 17 embrazened on it. 00:25:33.759 --> 00:25:36.079 The main point, though, of this section is verse 16. 00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:38.319 She considers a field and buys it. 00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:40.960 The fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:43.279 Fruit of her hands is an idiom, it means her profit. 00:25:43.440 --> 00:25:46.240 What she worked at made profit for her. 00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:50.720 She considers the field and she purchases it. 00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:54.319 Now she has money, if you notice verse 18, her merchandise is profitable. 00:25:54.480 --> 00:25:56.160 She's got her own Etsy account or whatever. 00:25:56.240 --> 00:25:57.279 She's making stuff and selling it. 00:25:57.519 --> 00:26:00.319 Facebook Marketplace is all reared up with her. 00:26:00.559 --> 00:26:01.839 She's bringing money in. 00:26:01.920 --> 00:26:03.039 But now what's she doing with it? 00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:05.359 In verse 16, she's consider that word considering it. 00:26:05.440 --> 00:26:06.400 She's studying it. 00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:10.799 She's thinking about it, she's watching the market to use our own language from today. 00:26:10.960 --> 00:26:11.759 She's watching the market. 00:26:11.920 --> 00:26:14.480