SPEAKER_00: And so I chose a passage tonight that's a window into a pastor's heart.
SPEAKER_00: And 2 Corinthians is, of course, probably the best window into a pastor's heart in the in the Bible.
SPEAKER_00: And it's you know it's odd to preach from 2 Corinthians because the Corinthians were not a good church.
SPEAKER_00: So in in a lot of ways, they're not a manual Bible church.
SPEAKER_00: You know, there's not sexual immorality at communion here, for example.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's not, you know, the prophesying and speaking in tongues, interrupting the teaching of the God word God's word.
SPEAKER_00: There's not the chaos, there's not people suing each other, like just all the things that are like called Tuesday in Corinth.
SPEAKER_00: We don't have have any of that uh here.
SPEAKER_00: Not that we don't have problems, of course we have problems, but um the New Testament gives you a spectrum of churches between Ephesus and Corinth.
SPEAKER_00: You know, you have the strong church with John and Timothy and um Titus ministering there, and then you have Corinth that um just seems to be a hot mess.
SPEAKER_00: And so when you teach from Corinth to show you the window into a pastor's heart, it's uh you know it's not corrective towards us as much as it is a window.
SPEAKER_00: And I've often wondered why is the most profound New Testament picture of a pastor while he's in Corinth, why isn't the book of Ephesians a window into a pastor's heart?
SPEAKER_00: Uh why isn't it one of the good churches?
SPEAKER_00: Um, and that's because a lot of what goes on in ministry is is most on display in conflict.
SPEAKER_00: Most on display uh in Corinth.
SPEAKER_00: You could say it that way.
SPEAKER_00: This is our passage for tonight.
SPEAKER_00: Uh it begins in verse 15, where Paul says, I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls.
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not going to read the whole passage, I'll walk us through a verse at a time.
SPEAKER_00: Paul says, I'll gladly spend and be spent for your souls.
SPEAKER_00: You know, everything in life has a corresponding counterpart.
SPEAKER_00: Every joy you have in life has a commensurate fear that's on the other side of it.
SPEAKER_00: You take joy in skiing, uh, but you're afraid of falling.
SPEAKER_00: You know, you take joy in soccer, but you're afraid of losing.
SPEAKER_00: You take joy in your family, you're afraid of rebellion.
SPEAKER_00: That's true with every level of life.
SPEAKER_00: Even you know, on the sinful side, you can take joy in money and you're afraid of poverty.
SPEAKER_00: You take joy in marriage, and a good example.
SPEAKER_00: You take joy in marriage, there's fear of fighting and division.
SPEAKER_00: That's true with everything.
SPEAKER_00: A theme in 2 Corinthians, and it's not a motif, it's not over and over again, but sprinkled throughout Corinthians is this concept of joy, where Paul is laboring in the Corinthians for their joy.
SPEAKER_00: That's what he says back at chapter 1, verse 21, the very end of the first chapter of 2 Corinthians, he says, I'm doing this for your joy.
SPEAKER_00: He's letting the Corinthians know, man, I am trying.
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying, guys.
SPEAKER_00: He tells them, I'm trying to help you out, and I'm doing it for your joy.
SPEAKER_00: I want to help you so that you're joyful.
SPEAKER_00: That's Paul's agenda.
SPEAKER_00: He wants the church to be joyful.
SPEAKER_00: And so it's interesting when you read that back in 2 Corinthians 1, it's in the back of my mind anyway.
SPEAKER_00: What's the commensurate fear?
SPEAKER_00: What's the fear on the other side of that joy?
SPEAKER_00: Paul's gonna spend his life laboring for the Corinthians.
SPEAKER_00: What's he afraid of on the flip side of that?
SPEAKER_00: What would the lack of joy look like to Paul?
SPEAKER_00: Well, at the end of the book in the passage today, is where we find the answer to that question.
SPEAKER_00: So, in a sense, 2 Corinthians is bracketed by that.
SPEAKER_00: At the beginning, I'm laboring for a joy.
SPEAKER_00: At the end of it, let me tell you my fear.
SPEAKER_00: We'll get to that this evening.
SPEAKER_00: But he begins in verse 15 by saying, I want to spend and be spent.
SPEAKER_00: I must gladly spend and be spent for your souls.
SPEAKER_00: We don't normally use the word glad in conjunction with spend.
SPEAKER_00: Often they're separate.
SPEAKER_00: You don't get a bill in the mail and be like, I am so stoked to pay this.
SPEAKER_00: I'm gladly writing this check.
SPEAKER_00: Even your mortgage, you got a nice house, but man, that mortgage comes to you, and you're like, rump.
SPEAKER_00: The word spend is a very common New Testament word, and uh, I chased it down in many of its examples, and they're not positive.
SPEAKER_00: It's the woman in Mark who who was afflicted with the issue of blood, and she spent all she had on doctors.
SPEAKER_00: That's one example.
SPEAKER_00: The prodigal son in Luke's gospel goes away and spends all of his inheritance.
SPEAKER_00: In James, you pray for something, but you don't get what you pray for because you're praying from your selfish desires.
SPEAKER_00: And then James says, and if you did get it, you would spend it on yourself.
SPEAKER_00: Very negative words.
SPEAKER_00: But here Paul takes that concept and says, I would gladly spend on you.
SPEAKER_00: That's gonna be an odd phrase that gets your attention.
SPEAKER_00: You know, the quickest way to get somebody's attention is probably to say their name.
SPEAKER_00: The second quickest way would be to say, I want to buy you something.
SPEAKER_00: They're locked in at that point.
SPEAKER_00: Paul says, I want to spend on you, but then he uses a passive form of that word.
SPEAKER_00: Passive is when something's being acted upon.
SPEAKER_00: And so he makes it passive, which is not a normal way you would use that word at all.
SPEAKER_00: You would translate in English, be spent.
SPEAKER_00: And we sometimes can use that on English.
SPEAKER_00: Athletes might use that.
SPEAKER_00: I spent it all in the field kind of thing, but even that's not really passive.
SPEAKER_00: Paul changes it to passive and says, I would gladly spend for you, and I would be spent on you in verse 15.
SPEAKER_00: I'd pour my life out for you.
SPEAKER_00: I'd be spent for your souls.
SPEAKER_00: So Paul now is changing the metaphor.
SPEAKER_00: He'd spend all he has in the Corinthians, and all he has is himself.
SPEAKER_00: And so he says, I would spend myself.
SPEAKER_00: He's changing his own life into a currency.
SPEAKER_00: His life is the money, and he would pour it all out, and he would pour it out for their souls.
SPEAKER_00: Now you recognize that's not the way souls work.
SPEAKER_00: You can't purchase somebody's soul.
SPEAKER_00: Paul wrestled through that in Romans 9.
SPEAKER_00: Remember, he said, if I could trade my salvation for the souls of the Jews, I would do it.
SPEAKER_00: But I can't.
SPEAKER_00: But he's still back with that concept again.
SPEAKER_00: I would spend everything for the souls of this church.
SPEAKER_00: He loves the Corinthians so much.
SPEAKER_00: And as you read both in Ephesians and 1st and 2nd Corinthians, I mean, sorry, in Acts 18 and 1st and 2nd Corinthians, you start to wonder, like, why does he like them so much?
SPEAKER_00: They're not stoked on him.
SPEAKER_00: Remember, he planted the church there.
SPEAKER_00: The Jews were so mean to him in Corinth, and so he moves across the street to a Gentile's house.
SPEAKER_00: I always thought it was funny, though, that he chose a Gentile's house who lived right next door to the synagogue.
SPEAKER_00: That's just always amused me.
SPEAKER_00: He gets rejected by the Jews, so he moves into Justice's house, and then Luke lets you do it in parentheses.
SPEAKER_00: It was next door to the synagogue.
SPEAKER_00: That's where Paul's ministering.
SPEAKER_00: And then he wants to leave, remember, and a voice from heaven, an audible voice of the Lord Jesus Christ in Acts 18, it's in red letters and everything, tells him, No, you park it there, friend.
SPEAKER_00: Stay there, because I got lots of people for you to reach.
SPEAKER_00: And so he spends a year and a half there, which is eons in dog years.
SPEAKER_00: He spends a long time there.
SPEAKER_00: In pastor years, most of Paul's years are here, there, and everywhere.
SPEAKER_00: He's going all over the place in his journeys, not in Corinth.
SPEAKER_00: He pulls the car over, unpacks the moving band, and spends a long time there, and they don't like him.
SPEAKER_00: They don't like him.
SPEAKER_00: And yet they're getting saved.
SPEAKER_00: It's the Lord who's saving them and adding them to the church, and they're just clashing.
SPEAKER_00: And Paul loves them because they're getting saved under his ministry.
SPEAKER_00: And yet they look at him and they're, they don't like the guy.
SPEAKER_00: He's Jewish, they're largely Gentile.
SPEAKER_00: Corinth is a rugged town.
SPEAKER_00: It's sailors who wrestle boats across the, you know, the land there, pull them on cables across the land.
SPEAKER_00: Like this is the this is Burley Man world right here.
SPEAKER_00: And Paul is a you know a washed-up converted rabbi.
SPEAKER_00: And the Gentiles just aren't having it.
SPEAKER_00: They're not having it.
SPEAKER_00: And yet that's where Paul parks himself and he says, I'm gonna spend my whole life.
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna pour out my soul for you.
SPEAKER_00: He's gonna spend it for the church.
SPEAKER_00: Look at the second half of verse 15 there.
SPEAKER_00: I'll spend and be spent for your souls, but if I love you more, am I to be loved less?
SPEAKER_00: And that's the dynamic that Paul is running into.
SPEAKER_00: The more he loves them, the less they love him in return.
SPEAKER_00: Why is that?
SPEAKER_00: He expressed this tension earlier, and I want you to flip over and see it.
SPEAKER_00: It's I think it's my favorite passage in 2 Corinthians, I think, chapter 6, verse 11.
SPEAKER_00: It's one of these little sandwich passages that Paul often writes on.
SPEAKER_00: He'll have a verse, then he'll go on a tangent for you know six or eight verses, and he'll get back to it again.
SPEAKER_00: Look at 2 Corinthians 6, verse 11.
SPEAKER_00: He said, We've spoken freely to you.
SPEAKER_00: That's the ESV's translation.
SPEAKER_00: The Greek is the word for stands, and he says, My mouth stands open to you, Corinthians.
SPEAKER_00: So it's this image of my mouth, literally Greek two words, mouth open.
SPEAKER_00: And it's present tense, my mouth is standing open, is how you'd say it in English.
SPEAKER_00: My mouth open to you.
SPEAKER_00: And then he says in the second part of verse 11, My heart is also open.
SPEAKER_00: It's the exact same language.
SPEAKER_00: In English, it comes across, my heart stands open, my heart, I mean, my mouth is spoken freely, my heart is wide open.
SPEAKER_00: It's a parallelism in Greek.
SPEAKER_00: My mouth stands open, my heart stands open.
SPEAKER_00: Both of them are open to you.
SPEAKER_00: Paul can't separate those.
SPEAKER_00: He can't open his heart and close his mouth.
SPEAKER_00: He's a preacher.
SPEAKER_00: Have you met one?
SPEAKER_00: His expression of love involves an open mouth.
SPEAKER_00: So his heart is open, his mouth is open, and he's demonstrating his love to them.
SPEAKER_00: But the more he loves them, the more they're angry at him.
SPEAKER_00: And they accuse him of all kinds of false things.
SPEAKER_00: So he goes on a tangent there.
SPEAKER_00: He wrestles through the verses 12 through the end of chapter 6.
SPEAKER_00: He tells him, it's because you're ungodly that you don't reciprocate my love to you.
SPEAKER_00: You need to repent yourself.
SPEAKER_00: Chapter 7, verse 1, cleanse yourself from all of the sins you're in.
SPEAKER_00: But then he gets back to it in verse 2.
SPEAKER_00: Make room in your hearts for us.
SPEAKER_00: Again, it's the same phrase, heart open, heart open, my mouth is open, my heart is open, so you open up your heart, okay?
SPEAKER_00: And he says, I haven't wronged anyone in verse 2.
SPEAKER_00: Chapter 7, I haven't wronged you.
SPEAKER_00: I haven't corrupted you.
SPEAKER_00: I have taken advantage of no one.
SPEAKER_00: Now, if you zoom out a bit, do you remember that Paul was not paid by the Corinthians?
SPEAKER_00: And he tells them back in 1 Corinthians 9 that he could have been paid.
SPEAKER_00: It's not right to not pay your pastor.
SPEAKER_00: He says, you know, the Old Testament says, don't muzzle the ox while it's treading.
SPEAKER_00: If it's somebody who's preaching, you've got to pay them.
SPEAKER_00: But Paul says, and he tells them in 1 Corinthians 9, I could demand payment and God would be on my side, but I'm not going to because you don't like me.
SPEAKER_00: But you can't get rid of me.
SPEAKER_00: He says, Peter, he would get paid.
SPEAKER_00: Meanwhile, the Thessalonians and the Philippians are paying Paul.
SPEAKER_00: They're supporting Paul from a distance.
SPEAKER_00: He was at those places, he was at Philippians way less time.
SPEAKER_00: A matter of months or something.
SPEAKER_00: And yet they're paying for his ministry with the Corinthians.
SPEAKER_00: And so Paul can look them in the eye and say, you know what?
SPEAKER_00: I never took a dime from you fools.
SPEAKER_00: You can't say I'm wronging you.
SPEAKER_00: And that's what they were saying.
SPEAKER_00: Paul goes away, he goes back to Ephesus, he continues on his ministry.
SPEAKER_00: And they start spreading lies about him.
SPEAKER_00: You can flip back to chapter 12.
SPEAKER_00: They start saying, you know, he's in it for the money.
SPEAKER_00: And of course, he didn't take a dime for them.
SPEAKER_00: So how does that hold up in court?
SPEAKER_00: He's in it for the money.
SPEAKER_00: Actually, we didn't pay him.
SPEAKER_00: Oh man, Drat.
SPEAKER_00: And so they flip those kind of things.
SPEAKER_00: They flip things that are positive into negatives.
SPEAKER_00: And they start saying, the reason he wouldn't take money is to trick you.
SPEAKER_00: Isn't that totally the kind of thing a person who's in love with money would do?
SPEAKER_00: Is not take your money so you would think they don't love money.
SPEAKER_00: That's proof that they actually love money.
SPEAKER_00: And this is like one of the classic expressions of a divisive person.
SPEAKER_00: They take something that is positive and reword it and flip it around to make it a negative.
SPEAKER_00: They make virtue a vice.
SPEAKER_00: And that's where he gets to in verse 16.
SPEAKER_00: Well, in verse 15, I love you more, I might be loved less.
SPEAKER_00: The more I give to you, the more generous I am to you.
SPEAKER_00: You close your heart more because you take it as evidence of my own sinfulness, he says.
SPEAKER_00: But verse 16, granting I myself didn't burden you.
SPEAKER_00: So even the enemies are gonna have to grant that Paul didn't take a paycheck.
SPEAKER_00: Granting I didn't burden you.
SPEAKER_00: Granting that, and they're gonna have to grant that.
SPEAKER_00: I was crafty, you say.
SPEAKER_00: I love the Yasvi at this point.
SPEAKER_00: I was crafty, you say, waha ha, to get the better of you by deceit.
SPEAKER_00: And so the lie then becomes he didn't take a paycheck, so he could boast in not taking a paycheck.
SPEAKER_00: It's a winless situation for him.
SPEAKER_00: You know, Paul, he's in it for the money.
SPEAKER_00: We don't pay him.
SPEAKER_00: See, that's proof.
SPEAKER_00: Paul, he's in it for people's affection.
SPEAKER_00: We don't show him any affection.
SPEAKER_00: Aha.
SPEAKER_00: They switch everything around.
SPEAKER_00: And that is the tactic of a divisive person.
SPEAKER_00: They take something that is a virtue and they turn it into a negative.
SPEAKER_00: Steve Hawley parks across the street at the bank every Sunday.
SPEAKER_00: You've seen him there, crossing the street with his backpack.
SPEAKER_00: Why does he do that?
SPEAKER_00: So that older people, parents with children, visitors have a parking spot at Emmanuel Bible Church.
SPEAKER_00: So he parks across the street.
SPEAKER_00: What if he does it just to be seen by you?
SPEAKER_00: He wants you all to see him crossing the street with his back back over to the bank and you to think, oh, what a servant that guy is.
SPEAKER_00: It's funny, right?
SPEAKER_00: I don't really think he's doing it to be seen by you.
SPEAKER_00: He leaves after all, you guys have already gone home anyway.
SPEAKER_00: That's the kind of thing that a divisive person does.
SPEAKER_00: It takes something that is just simply an act of service and turns it into an excuse to attack the minister.
SPEAKER_00: That's what the Corinthians were doing.
SPEAKER_00: Nowhere is this more clear with loyalty.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm telling you, in our in our Christian culture today, it's ebbed and flowed throughout the church history, but in our culture today, loyalty is a virtue.
SPEAKER_00: But in our Christian culture today, people attack it.
SPEAKER_00: And they say, Oh, you're only supporting that person because you're loyal to him.
SPEAKER_00: As if it were a negative thing.
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you've heard that kind of thing.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, the only reason you like that person is because you're his friend.
SPEAKER_00: As if that were a negative thing.
SPEAKER_00: That's the kind of attacks they're lobbing at Paul.
SPEAKER_00: They take his integrity and they make it a point of attack.
SPEAKER_00: And they tell Paul's friends in Corinth, oh, you only support Paul because you like him, because you're his friend, because he led you to Jesus and he taught you the word of God.
SPEAKER_00: That's the only reason you support him, as if that were a bad thing.
SPEAKER_00: And man, when that happens to a pastor, it is so hard to extricate himself from that trap.
SPEAKER_00: Because what's a pastor supposed to do?
SPEAKER_00: Defend himself?
SPEAKER_00: And say, no, actually, I'm I'm I'm not taking money because I don't like, I don't want the money.
SPEAKER_00: Actually, I'm parking across the street.
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to keep using that example, so just get used to it, because it's so funny and it makes the point so well.
SPEAKER_00: No, actually, I actually park across the street because I am trying to help serve the church.
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
SPEAKER_00: How do you defend yourself?
SPEAKER_00: Once you say that, you subject yourself to attack.
SPEAKER_00: Once you say that, it seems like if you or if your conscience is really clear, you wouldn't have to defend yourself.
SPEAKER_00: That's why Paul's language in chapter 11 and 12 of 2 Corinthians is so interesting to read.
SPEAKER_00: He resorts to sarcasm, he resorts to third-person arguments.
SPEAKER_00: I know a person who once did this because he doesn't want to defend himself, but he doesn't want the reputation of Christ attacked.
SPEAKER_00: That's the trap he's found himself in.
SPEAKER_00: Paul, honestly, it's an inspired book in scripture, but it seems like he doesn't know how to get out of the trap he's found himself in.
SPEAKER_00: He tells him, I don't want to defend myself.
SPEAKER_00: I would never defend myself to you, he says.
SPEAKER_00: Nevertheless, I feel like I have to because it's the reputation of Christ that's on the line.
SPEAKER_00: And so in verse 17, he said, he just asks some questions.
SPEAKER_00: Did I take any advantage of you through any of those whom I sent you?
SPEAKER_00: Did I ever take advantage of you?
SPEAKER_00: He falls back to the factual argument.
SPEAKER_00: In point of fact, Paul says, Did I ever actually take anything from you?
SPEAKER_00: Like all of this, they're arguing for years in Paul's absence that he was in it for the money, even though he didn't get a paycheck.
SPEAKER_00: So Paul just like pulls the car over for a second and says, Clear your minds.
SPEAKER_00: In this case, truth is an actual defense.
SPEAKER_00: Did I take anything from you ever?
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: Well, what about the people I sent to you?
SPEAKER_00: Remember in 2 Corinthians earlier, we didn't look at these passages, but in the middle part of the book, he's writing for them to make a collection for the poor in Jerusalem.
SPEAKER_00: There's a famine in Jerusalem, Christians are suffering in Jerusalem, and Paul recognizes that godly churches should give money to alleviate the suffering of the poor Christians around the world.
SPEAKER_00: And he's orchestrating that.
SPEAKER_00: And so he's in this odd situation where he's the one that is tasked by the church in Jerusalem to raise money.
SPEAKER_00: So he's doing that with the churches he's planning.
SPEAKER_00: This is not the kind of thing where, okay, look, you don't like Samaritans first, give the world relief.
SPEAKER_00: Who cares?
SPEAKER_00: The money's gonna get there.
SPEAKER_00: This is not that world right now.
SPEAKER_00: It's Paul or nobody.
SPEAKER_00: That's what he's stuck with.
SPEAKER_00: And so he's gotta ask them for money, but he knows they don't like him, so what does he do?
SPEAKER_00: He sends Titus to get the money.
SPEAKER_00: They love Titus, and we don't, I wish we knew more.
SPEAKER_00: We can find out in heaven.
SPEAKER_00: Why did they like Titus so much?
SPEAKER_00: You know, they liked him, they got along well.
SPEAKER_00: Titus was from Crete, and those Cretans, man, I tell you what, meet a creature and look out.
SPEAKER_00: They're liars and lazy gluttons.
SPEAKER_00: That's Titus is from them.
SPEAKER_00: And so, I don't know, the Corinthians liked Titus.
SPEAKER_00: And so Paul appeals to them.
SPEAKER_00: Did Titus take anything from you?
SPEAKER_00: Look at verse 17, or verse 18.
SPEAKER_00: I urge Titus to go instead of me.
SPEAKER_00: You don't like me?
SPEAKER_00: Great, I sent Titus.
SPEAKER_00: I sent that other brother with him.
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if Paul forgot his name or it's just so obvious he doesn't want to name him.
SPEAKER_00: Who knows?
SPEAKER_00: Titus and you know, another guy.
SPEAKER_00: I sent him to you.
SPEAKER_00: Did they take advantage of you?
SPEAKER_00: Now these people are both known to Paul, they're both known to the Corinthians, of course.
SPEAKER_00: Back in 2 Corinthians 8, verse 23, Paul's the one who says, just give your money to Titus and take me out of it.
SPEAKER_00: 2 Corinthians 8 verses 19 and 22.
SPEAKER_00: He says, I've got some un you know, he doesn't name them there either, Titus's partners.
SPEAKER_00: He says in verse 18 of 2 Corinthians 8 that they've been appointed by churches to take your money.
SPEAKER_00: The idea is that they're highly respected people by all the churches, and Paul is not respected by the Corinthians.
SPEAKER_00: Remember in chapter 1, that's why he said, I'm not coming there.
SPEAKER_00: I told you I'd come to get the money, but I recognize it's more important for you to give to the poor than it is for me to be there.
SPEAKER_00: So that's why I sent these other two guys.
SPEAKER_00: And so now he just says in verse 18, did they take any advantage of you at all?
SPEAKER_00: Don't you think, he says in the middle of verse 18, that we would act in the same spirit?
SPEAKER_00: That we take the same steps.
SPEAKER_00: So if they're not wronging you, why do you think I am?
SPEAKER_00: They're the ones who are getting the money.
SPEAKER_00: Paul's just trying to defend the integrity of the gospel.
SPEAKER_00: He says in verse 19, have you been thinking all along that we've been defending ourselves to you?
SPEAKER_00: It's in the sight of God we've been speaking in Christ for all of your upbuilding, beloved.
SPEAKER_00: That's such a pastor thing to say right there.
SPEAKER_00: Do you think I'm trying to defend myself?
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm I am only concerned about what God thinks on your behalf.
SPEAKER_00: But that's what Paul says.
SPEAKER_00: He recognizes if he tries to defend himself, it's just gonna backfire because they'll say he's defending himself because he's guilty.
SPEAKER_00: If he stays silent, they're gonna say, oh, he must be guilty.
SPEAKER_00: There's no way out of this for him.
SPEAKER_00: I do believe this is the hardest thing for a pastor to do in the ministry is to defend himself from critics because where do you even start?
SPEAKER_00: You know?
SPEAKER_00: Your preaching is too boring.
SPEAKER_00: I confess.
SPEAKER_00: Or what do you do?
SPEAKER_00: No, it's not.
SPEAKER_00: Listen to this sermon.
SPEAKER_00: This one wasn't so bad.
SPEAKER_00: It's just like a superficial kind of thing, you know?
SPEAKER_00: But it starts to get more serious, and what are you supposed to do?
SPEAKER_00: Defend yourself?
SPEAKER_00: Not defend yourself?
SPEAKER_00: If you open your mouth, you're guilty.
SPEAKER_00: You keep your mouth closed, you're guilty.
SPEAKER_00: That's what Paul's wrestling with.
SPEAKER_00: And I hope you see that Paul's wrestling with this.
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like I'm in a good position to talk about this because I I I haven't been accused.
SPEAKER_00: I don't I don't feel like I have critics here.
SPEAKER_00: I haven't been accused of bad things other than boring sermons.
SPEAKER_00: I'll grant, I will grant that one.
SPEAKER_00: So I'm not preaching from any like defensive posture here.
SPEAKER_00: I'm just trying to explain the passage here, and that's where Paul is.
SPEAKER_00: Paul does have a defensive posture because they're after him.
SPEAKER_00: And he says, I don't know what to do.
SPEAKER_00: But then he says in verse 19, do you think I would actually defend myself to you?
SPEAKER_00: You want me to defend myself to you?
SPEAKER_00: Why?
SPEAKER_00: I defend myself to God, not to you.
SPEAKER_00: And this isn't the first time he said that.
SPEAKER_00: Some of the most famous verses in 2 Corinthians are along the same line, by the way.
SPEAKER_00: Chapter 5, verse 10, we're all gonna stand before the judgment seat of Christ.
SPEAKER_00: We read that and we're like, yes, beam a seat judgment, we're rewarded.
SPEAKER_00: Now I've preached that passage in this little context in chapter 5, and it's an exciting thing about judgment, but you zoom out a bit and you get what Paul is.
SPEAKER_00: Don't you?
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't need to defend myself to you because it's God who rewards me.
SPEAKER_00: I look at the Beamus seat, and you're not on the Olympic committee.
SPEAKER_00: You're not there handing out medals.
SPEAKER_00: I don't care if you give me a high score.
SPEAKER_00: I care what God says.
SPEAKER_00: He's the one that hands out the medals.
SPEAKER_00: That's how he argues with them.
SPEAKER_00: I think it's so important that a good leader keeps a clear conscience, and Paul says this in 1 Corinthians chapter 4.
SPEAKER_00: He says it's a very small thing that I would be judged by you, because it's the Lord who judges me.
SPEAKER_00: Again, a very well-known verse.
SPEAKER_00: Paul says, it's a small thing if I'm judged by you.
SPEAKER_00: I don't, I could care less what you say.
SPEAKER_00: And you know that's not true because he writes two letters defending himself.
SPEAKER_00: He says, look, and I can I could care less what you say because it is God who knows me and God sees my heart.
SPEAKER_00: Paul says, I judge my own heart, and what if I pass the if I pass the test?
SPEAKER_00: I judge my heart and I pass the test, who cares?
SPEAKER_00: God could still funk me.
SPEAKER_00: Paul says, just because I pass doesn't mean I do pass.
SPEAKER_00: I get that.
SPEAKER_00: But you're not the greater.
SPEAKER_00: That's his point.
SPEAKER_00: In 1 Corinthians 4, verses 3 and 4.
SPEAKER_00: It's the Lord who judges me.
SPEAKER_00: I take from that such the importance of a leader keeping a clear conscience, confessing his sin, because that validates his ministry.
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean the leader is perfect, of course not.
SPEAKER_00: Even if his conscience is clear, it doesn't mean he is clear, but it does mean that he's serving others with sincerity.
SPEAKER_00: And that is the paradox of ministry, where Paul says, I'm not going to be judged by you, Corinthians, but I have been called by God to labor for you.
SPEAKER_00: And so if you don't like it, we're in kind of a paradox here where God called me here, but you don't like it, and yet I'm God, what am I supposed to do?
SPEAKER_00: I need you to grow in godliness.
SPEAKER_00: In a sense, Paul says, I know I'll be rewarded by the work I did with you.
SPEAKER_00: But I hope there's fruit to show.
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm trying to build a house out of you guys.
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to build a house.
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to build you into a church of God.
SPEAKER_00: I hope there's something there.
SPEAKER_00: It's not just all wood, straw, and hay.
SPEAKER_00: I want it to be a building.
SPEAKER_00: That's this point in verse 19.
SPEAKER_00: I've been trying to build you up, he says at the end of verse 19.
SPEAKER_00: Literally, it's the word, it's the word edify.
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to make something.
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to turn you into a building.
SPEAKER_00: The SV just renders it up building, which is great.
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to make you into a building.
SPEAKER_00: Man, how lame would it be if it's just straw?
SPEAKER_00: When Jesus comes back, if there's not a building here, not a church here, crush him.
SPEAKER_00: Paul says, here's the fear.
SPEAKER_00: Here's where he's going.
SPEAKER_00: Here's the opposite side of the joy that he started the book with.
SPEAKER_00: It's the fear in verse 20.
SPEAKER_00: I fear that perhaps when I come I won't find you like I want.
SPEAKER_00: You'd find me not like you want.
SPEAKER_00: There'd be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.
SPEAKER_00: That's the pastor's greatest fear right there.
SPEAKER_00: That's the title of the message.
SPEAKER_00: What's the pastor's greatest fear?
SPEAKER_00: That's the answer.
SPEAKER_00: Paul's biggest fear is that they're not growing in godliness.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, Paul's personality, his paycheck, his business hours or office hours, his evangelistic style, his preaching style, all that is way down the totem pole of importance.
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_00: What matters is are they growing in godliness?
SPEAKER_00: And so Paul will endure tax on his reputation.
SPEAKER_00: That's fine.
SPEAKER_00: He can attack his reputation.
SPEAKER_00: He'll shake it off and go somewhere else.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, this is a dude that's been stoned to death a couple times, you know?
SPEAKER_00: He's been whipped repeatedly, shipwrecked, naked, hungry.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, he will go through anything.
SPEAKER_00: You calling him a boring preacher and an ugly dude, which the Corinthians do, isn't gonna slow this guy down.
SPEAKER_00: As long as you're growing in godliness.
SPEAKER_00: And so that's his greatest fear.
SPEAKER_00: He's like, I'm just terrified that I'm gonna spend my life with you, and at the end of it, you won't be godly.
SPEAKER_00: How do you rank godliness?
SPEAKER_00: Well, quarreling, divisiveness.
SPEAKER_00: This is the echo he's been sounding with the Corinthians ever since, you know, 1 Corinthians.
SPEAKER_00: I remember he says, you guys are arguing about who baptized you.
SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_00: Grow up a bit.
SPEAKER_00: You're baptized into Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: He's just so scared there's going to be divisiveness in the church because division in the church does not reflect the character of a church.
SPEAKER_00: Jealousy, anger, hostility.
SPEAKER_00: Man, when that stuff is in the church, that is such noxious poison.
SPEAKER_00: Paul's dealing with the he's dealing with the Corinthians here, okay?
SPEAKER_00: There's orgies at communion.
SPEAKER_00: That's 1 Corinthians.
SPEAKER_00: At the end of this book, he's like, I'm just terrified.
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna find division in the church.
SPEAKER_00: I'm just terrified, I'm gonna find you all not liking each other and jealousy among you.
SPEAKER_00: Oh man.
SPEAKER_00: He would mourn.
SPEAKER_00: He says in verse 21, if I found that again, God would humble me before you and I would mourn.
SPEAKER_00: I'd mourn over those who sinned.
SPEAKER_00: Of course, that language is used elsewhere in 2 Corinthians, he'd be disciplining him out of the church.
SPEAKER_00: I'd mourn over those who sinned earlier and haven't repented.
SPEAKER_00: You know, he wants those who've been disciplined out of the church to repent and be restored.
SPEAKER_00: He's like, I would just be so crushed.
SPEAKER_00: What is a pastor's biggest fear?
SPEAKER_00: Finding people that aren't growing in godliness.
SPEAKER_00: What's a pastor's biggest joy?
SPEAKER_00: Well, it's the other side of that coin.
SPEAKER_00: Seeing people who grow in godliness.
SPEAKER_00: And Paul says, I pour out my life to you.
SPEAKER_00: I would gladly spend my life to see you grow.
SPEAKER_00: Steve, I made fun of the part the backpack earlier.
SPEAKER_00: But you know, you have been at Emmanuel Bible Church for, according to Arena, which is not infallible, according to our database, you've been here for 48 years.
SPEAKER_00: You've been on staff for 42 years.
SPEAKER_00: You have raised your family in the church.
SPEAKER_00: You have lived down the street from the church, although the house you live in now has moved a little bit further away.
SPEAKER_00: I don't know what that's messaging.
SPEAKER_00: You have been this kind of pastor, brother.
SPEAKER_00: You have poured out your life for the church.
SPEAKER_00: Why?
SPEAKER_00: You know, when you came to Emmanuel Bible, it was a brand new church.
SPEAKER_00: I don't think hardly anybody in this building was there back then.
SPEAKER_00: So you're not here now because you chose to like us at the beginning.
SPEAKER_00: You didn't even know us.
SPEAKER_00: And if you knew us, you you wouldn't have liked us.
SPEAKER_00: But you you came to Emmanuel Bible Church and you poured out your life.
SPEAKER_00: You're this language.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I look at this verse, I would most gladly spend and be spent for your souls, and and you're the person I think of.
SPEAKER_00: Like you have poured out your life to minister to our congregation.
SPEAKER_00: For what gain?
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's not the paycheck, it's not the parking spot, obviously.
SPEAKER_00: You're not in it for the cookies or for the grand life lunches.
SPEAKER_00: You pour out your life because you love the Lord and you want to see us have joy in Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: And you can tell, I mean, the integrity of a pastor is on display, not just in his his life and in his marriage, which yours certainly is, but it's so magnified by his joy.
SPEAKER_00: And you are one of the most joyful people.
SPEAKER_00: You have a banjo of some kind mounted on your wall, for goodness sakes.
SPEAKER_00: I don't know what the right musical term is, so give me grace.
SPEAKER_00: You've poured out your life here for no reason other than to cause other people to have joy.
SPEAKER_00: Uh, you have a wonderful sense of humor, such charity.
SPEAKER_00: You've been the one, uh Tom often reminds me, you're you were the one that the church turned to in dark days.
SPEAKER_00: You know, when the pastor disqualified for self for the ministry, the church said, Hey, Steve, you bring the news, you preach that next Sunday sermon.
SPEAKER_00: Now, I know you say it was because you weren't at that meeting where that was decided.
SPEAKER_00: I know that.
SPEAKER_00: And that is exactly what you would say.
SPEAKER_00: But the truth is everybody respects you, not just in the jovial times, but in the times that are dark.
SPEAKER_00: And that's it's Paul and Corinthians, you know, when the when the things are dark, when there is a current of discontentment, people look to you and you've set the you've set the oar straight in the water for decades of ministry.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's no there's no greater joy.
SPEAKER_00: Paul would say there's no greater joy than knowing Christ and pouring your life out with the same group of people.
SPEAKER_00: Paul said his greatest joy was to see the Corinthians grow in godliness and he didn't even like them.
SPEAKER_00: My mind goes back to 1 Samuel chapter 12, where Samuel gave his farewell address to the Israelites.
SPEAKER_00: And it's so interesting to me how he starts.
SPEAKER_00: I quote this passage all the time.
SPEAKER_00: Samuel looks at the Israelites and says, Hello.
SPEAKER_00: I want you to think for a second.
SPEAKER_00: Did I steal?
SPEAKER_00: This is where he starts.
SPEAKER_00: Did I steal anyone's donkey?
SPEAKER_00: Let's just get that out of the way.
SPEAKER_00: I was your prophet for a long time.
SPEAKER_00: You want a king, your king is gonna come and steal all your donkeys, all your wives, Samuel says.
SPEAKER_00: All your donkeys and wives will be gone, stolen by the king.
SPEAKER_00: So let's start here.
SPEAKER_00: Did I steal anyone's donkey?
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: No, Samuel says.
SPEAKER_00: So have some integrity with me.
SPEAKER_00: I think of you offering that passage.
SPEAKER_00: Every time we've gone to five guys, Steve, you have paid.
SPEAKER_00: You can say, Did I did I do it for the lunches?
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: Did you do it for the paycheck?
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: I did it for the joy in the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: I won't have you stand up here and say this, but you could stand up here and say, you know, 40 years is on staff, 40 more than 40 years on staff, decades as the executive pastor, overseeing the church, overseeing the money of the church, the staff of the church.
SPEAKER_00: You could stand up here and say, Did I ever take a dollar that wasn't mine?
SPEAKER_00: Did I ever make one of you buy me food?
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: I did it just for the joy of the ministry.
SPEAKER_00: Not that every day is joyful.
SPEAKER_00: All the Israelites told Samuel, we are a witness.
SPEAKER_00: That you have integrity.
SPEAKER_00: We are a witness, and that is our testimony to you as well.
SPEAKER_00: Of course, we know that integrity is earned throughout a lifetime, and you've certainly done that.
SPEAKER_00: And of course, it's our joy to see others coming to stand firm in the faith, delighting in Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you, brother, for your faithful service as our pastor of ministries.
SPEAKER_00: And uh, you know, we will honor you later.
SPEAKER_00: Nobody else knew I was gonna say that.
SPEAKER_00: Um we'll honor you later other times.
SPEAKER_00: But I just wanted to say that now in light of 2 Corinthians 12.
SPEAKER_00: Let's go to the Lord together in prayer.
SPEAKER_00: God, we're thankful for the joy of ministry.
SPEAKER_00: And as a believer in a church with pastors who love us and care for us, we are we have joy in our hearts.
SPEAKER_00: We don't feel alone.
SPEAKER_00: How easy it is to live in a dark world that doesn't know you and rejects the gospel to feel alone, of course, as a Christian.
SPEAKER_00: We're thankful for a church where we don't feel alone, where we know that there are pastors and elders who care.
SPEAKER_00: Care for our hearts, who have this kind of unity and joy in serving.
SPEAKER_00: We are grateful.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we don't want to ever presume.
SPEAKER_00: We know that Paul's fear becomes our fear.
SPEAKER_00: We know what happened with the church at Ephesus.
SPEAKER_00: We know they're not there now.
SPEAKER_00: So Lord, we pray that you would guard Emmanuel Bible Church and the legacy entrusted to us.
SPEAKER_00: Paul said he wanted to go to Spain so you could build in a place where nobody had ever been had built a church.
SPEAKER_00: And yet he did it in Corinth.
SPEAKER_00: We're here at Emmanuel.
SPEAKER_00: This is a church that other people have built.
SPEAKER_00: We're standing on somebody else's shoulders.
SPEAKER_00: We know that.
SPEAKER_00: We're not we're not Paul, we're not Steve, Holly.
SPEAKER_00: But we're here and we hope that we're found faithful.
SPEAKER_00: We give you thanks for this church in Jesus' name.
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
SPEAKER_00: And now for a parting word from Pastor Jesse Johnson.
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for joining us.
SPEAKER_00: If you're in the Washington, D.C.
SPEAKER_00: area, I would love to see you at Emmanuel Bible Church.
SPEAKER_00: For more information on our church or our current service times, go to IBC.church.
SPEAKER_00: For more information about the Master Seminary and their Washington, D.C.
SPEAKER_00: location, go to TMS.edu.
SPEAKER_00: I hope this resource has been a blessing to you and it helps you seek the Lord daily, serve others around you, and share the gospel with boldness.