WEBVTT 00:00:08.640 --> 00:00:10.880 Matthew 5, verse 31. 00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:18.559 It was also said, Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. 00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:32.880 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the grounds of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. 00:00:34.719 --> 00:00:37.920 This is Jesus' introduction to his teaching on divorce. 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:40.079 He'll pick it up again in Matthew 19. 00:00:40.560 --> 00:00:47.359 I was supposed to preach on this passage on the Sunday that was Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, that Sunday. 00:00:49.039 --> 00:00:54.719 So in thinking through it, I thought a sermon on divorce for Christmas morning, not the best fit. 00:00:55.119 --> 00:01:05.120 So I kicked it out a month and we did the 1 Timothy 3.16 study for Advent, which just means that the teaching on divorce ends up on the Sunday before Valentine's Day. 00:01:08.239 --> 00:01:12.159 There's no perfect answer to these kind of preaching dilemmas. 00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:19.519 It's no denying that divorce is a prominent feature of our society. 00:01:20.959 --> 00:01:29.920 In a sense, we are, as Americans living in this culture, sort of numb to it. 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:31.439 We're like the goldfish in the bull. 00:01:31.599 --> 00:01:34.000 We don't realize it's wet, so to speak. 00:01:34.480 --> 00:01:38.640 But our culture is inextricably marked by divorce. 00:01:38.959 --> 00:01:47.040 I read a book recently on the IGen, which is what this author calls the current generation of high school students, the IGen. 00:01:47.120 --> 00:01:48.799 I just love that title for them. 00:01:49.920 --> 00:01:53.439 And he pointed out some pretty stunning things about divorce. 00:01:53.680 --> 00:02:04.640 He argued that the baby boomer generation is not just the most divorced generation in American history, but probably the most divorced generation in world history. 00:02:05.200 --> 00:02:16.319 Of any civilization anywhere, the baby boomer generation in the United States has a higher prevalence of divorce than any other generation ever. 00:02:17.919 --> 00:02:20.719 And he notes all kinds of reasons for that. 00:02:21.360 --> 00:02:26.479 There was so much of an emphasis on self-fulfillment in that generation. 00:02:26.639 --> 00:02:36.319 That you could be fulfilled through work, which of course didn't lead to fulfillment, that you could be fulfilled through internal happiness was the big thrust of it. 00:02:36.479 --> 00:02:47.039 The prevalence of psychology over all of that that taught you the meaning of life was your own happiness, your own sense of stability, your own kind of oneness with yourself. 00:02:47.199 --> 00:02:53.120 I mean, a total introspective happiness quest, and it ends up defunct. 00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:59.759 And in a culture that prizes your happiness, if something's not making you happy, then of course you would discard it. 00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:13.840 And honestly, there have been cultures that have been materialistic throughout the ages, but that little window of American history taught that happiness of the individual hardworking person was the chief end of existence. 00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:18.960 So if your family didn't make you happy, trade them out for a new one. 00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:22.800 Because your happiness is what is most important. 00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:41.599 The result of that is that the Gen X generation, generation that I'm part of, is the first generation in world history, not just American history, but the first generation in world history where the majority of the generation was not raised by their parents. 00:03:42.080 --> 00:03:47.840 The majority of that generation, their parents were not married to each other. 00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:51.199 If they were married, they were married to somebody different. 00:03:51.599 --> 00:03:54.319 The majority did not come from two parent homes. 00:03:55.759 --> 00:04:03.199 The result of that, he points out, is the millennial generation, who of course gets blamed for everything, but they deserve it, you know. 00:04:05.840 --> 00:04:14.319 And the author points out that the millennial generation is the least married generation, again, not just in American history, but in world history. 00:04:15.439 --> 00:04:19.759 Just think about how all those things connect. 00:04:21.600 --> 00:04:31.759 The prevalence of this idea that your happiness is why you were made, to the prevalence of the idea that a family is interchangeable. 00:04:31.920 --> 00:04:38.879 You know, who needs a family to the prevalence of idea in the millennial generation that actually believes that? 00:04:39.199 --> 00:04:40.240 It says, you're right. 00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:42.079 Who does need the family? 00:04:43.120 --> 00:04:47.360 It's one record after another, and who knows where this quest will end. 00:04:47.600 --> 00:04:55.199 You look at the current crop of high school students coming through now, and they've been taught by society they don't need people. 00:04:56.560 --> 00:04:58.160 You can do everything online. 00:04:58.399 --> 00:05:02.399 You don't even need to go to school, you don't need a teacher, you don't need to see a face. 00:05:02.800 --> 00:05:07.839 It all can be sacrificed for the health of the baby boomers. 00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:16.000 You know, it's so fascinating how much divorce is a basic part of our life. 00:05:17.120 --> 00:05:23.600 The same thing could be argued about the generation of the Pharisees in Jesus' lifetime. 00:05:23.759 --> 00:05:35.839 Now, don't get me wrong, divorce among the Jews in Jesus' lifetime was not as prevalent as it is in American culture by any stretch of the imagination, except for one small segment of the Jewish culture. 00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:37.759 The powerful. 00:05:38.560 --> 00:05:49.120 The Pharisees, for example, the religious leaders, those politically connected, those who had wealth, they very much embraced divorce in Jesus' lifetime. 00:05:49.199 --> 00:05:51.040 And they did it for a different agenda. 00:05:51.120 --> 00:05:55.360 Like for them, it wasn't embracing divorce to find your own sense of happiness. 00:05:55.519 --> 00:05:59.360 For them, it was all about inheritance, it was about power, prestige. 00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:04.720 If you could marry into a better family, that would elevate you in society. 00:06:04.879 --> 00:06:11.680 And so, you know, your current wife kind of pegs you here, but there's this other woman who's interested in you, and she's at a different rung in society. 00:06:11.839 --> 00:06:14.560 Well, if you get rid of your wife, you can marry her. 00:06:14.720 --> 00:06:17.360 And you've just climbed the ladder a little bit. 00:06:18.399 --> 00:06:21.360 Some of this was about childlessness. 00:06:22.079 --> 00:06:28.160 In the Jewish mind, the most important thing was to have property to hand down to your family. 00:06:29.279 --> 00:06:31.199 It was given to your kids. 00:06:31.360 --> 00:06:36.079 If you didn't have kids, your property, your property was dissolved at your death. 00:06:39.519 --> 00:06:42.160 And so the Pharisees very much embraced divorce. 00:06:42.319 --> 00:06:49.439 In fact, most of what we know about the life of Jesus is from the historian Josephus, who he was born a few years after Jesus ascended into heaven. 00:06:49.600 --> 00:06:55.600 Josephus himself was a Pharisee, and shock of shockers here, Josephus was divorced. 00:06:57.040 --> 00:07:00.800 It was so much a part of the Israelite culture in that sense. 00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:03.600 The Jewish leaders had debates about divorce. 00:07:03.759 --> 00:07:08.319 I mean, one big school of thought said you could only divorce your wife for some sexual impurity. 00:07:08.480 --> 00:07:14.959 Another big school of thought said you could divorce your wife for anything in her that failed to find favor in your eyes. 00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:16.240 That was the language they used. 00:07:16.399 --> 00:07:20.160 You could divorce your wife if she did something that failed to find favor in your eyes. 00:07:20.319 --> 00:07:23.040 Honestly, that probably says more about you than about her. 00:07:24.399 --> 00:07:32.399 This is the stories, many of which come to us through Josephus, about people divorcing their wife because, you know, she put too much salt in the food, so to speak. 00:07:33.120 --> 00:07:35.600 And you understand those are pretexts. 00:07:35.839 --> 00:07:38.800 Nobody actually divorces their wife because of a burnt meal. 00:07:38.879 --> 00:07:41.839 You divorce your wife because you want to marry somebody else. 00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:47.040 And so you come up with some kind of pretense. 00:07:47.279 --> 00:07:53.759 The result of that, by the way, is there's no Jewish leader that would preach against divorce, period. 00:07:54.160 --> 00:07:55.759 I mean, that's the third rail. 00:07:55.920 --> 00:07:57.759 Do you understand how many people would be offended? 00:07:57.839 --> 00:08:03.199 All the religious leaders would be just flabbergasted if you came out and actually preached against divorce. 00:08:03.360 --> 00:08:07.279 I mean, the last guy that tried that stunt was John the Baptist and he got his head chopped off. 00:08:07.519 --> 00:08:09.839 I mean, that's where this road goes. 00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:19.199 Jesus is not kowtowed by that pressure, though, and he goes after it. 00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:28.560 Right in the middle of this sermon here, he just preached about adultery, and he carries on with our passage this morning. 00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:36.159 That if anyone divorces their wife, he makes her commit adultery. 00:08:36.399 --> 00:08:39.279 Whoever marries a divorce woman commits adultery. 00:08:39.440 --> 00:08:42.480 In the Jewish world, it was always the husbands divorcing their wives. 00:08:43.200 --> 00:08:47.519 That was largely the, well, almost entirely the thrust of divorce. 00:08:47.600 --> 00:08:51.759 In the American culture, we're more egalitarian than that, you know? 00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:58.240 And in the American culture, it's like a cherished sacrosanct right that women can divorce their husbands. 00:08:58.480 --> 00:09:03.919 It's a mark of equality, a mark of what it means to be a functioning democracy in society. 00:09:04.080 --> 00:09:07.440 Of course, women can divorce their husband for any reason. 00:09:08.240 --> 00:09:11.200 It sounds like the kind of Jewish argument. 00:09:11.679 --> 00:09:14.799 He failed to find favor in my eyes. 00:09:15.200 --> 00:09:23.200 And that's so much an essential part of the American psyche that we almost lose the thrust of how countercultural is what Jesus says, just because of the gender. 00:09:23.360 --> 00:09:25.600 Jesus is going after the husbands who divorce their wives. 00:09:25.759 --> 00:09:27.919 It's equally true on the flip side of it. 00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:37.360 So I'm going to read this passage again, but just swap the genders, and you'll notice just from American ears how jarring it sounds when it's switched. 00:09:38.480 --> 00:09:47.919 It was said, whoever divorces her husband, let her give him a certificate of divorce. 00:09:48.399 --> 00:09:56.399 But I say to you that everyone who divorces her husband, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes him commit adultery. 00:09:56.639 --> 00:10:00.159 And whoever marries a divorced man commits adultery. 00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:03.519 See how jarring that is. 00:10:05.600 --> 00:10:10.240 This is the third of the you have heard it said statements that Jesus uses in the sermon. 00:10:10.399 --> 00:10:15.120 He's using these as kind of outlines through chapter 5 to launch him into his points. 00:10:15.279 --> 00:10:21.200 And in all of the cases so far, what he is quoting here, you've heard it said, is actual scripture. 00:10:21.440 --> 00:10:24.639 He's not saying you have heard it said, you know, something false. 00:10:24.799 --> 00:10:26.960 He's saying you have heard it said in quoting scripture. 00:10:27.039 --> 00:10:29.679 For example, you have heard it said, you shall not murder. 00:10:30.399 --> 00:10:31.600 That's the sixth commandment. 00:10:31.679 --> 00:10:32.159 That's true. 00:10:32.320 --> 00:10:33.279 Don't murder. 00:10:33.679 --> 00:10:35.840 You've heard it said, you shall not commit adultery. 00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:37.039 That's the seventh commandment. 00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:38.320 That's true. 00:10:38.960 --> 00:10:43.360 You have heard it said, coming up, do not swear falsely. 00:10:44.480 --> 00:10:46.080 That's also true. 00:10:47.279 --> 00:10:50.320 You've heard it said, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. 00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:51.440 That's Lex Talianus. 00:10:51.519 --> 00:10:52.720 That's Deuteronomic Law. 00:10:52.799 --> 00:10:54.000 That's true. 00:10:54.799 --> 00:10:57.600 The only one that's not exactly true is how the chapter ends. 00:10:57.679 --> 00:11:02.000 You've heard it said, love your neighbor, but hate your enemy. 00:11:02.879 --> 00:11:05.440 It's a misapplication of the Torah. 00:11:05.519 --> 00:11:07.840 But the other ones are all actually what the Torah says. 00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:16.080 So when Jesus says, you have heard it said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce, that is a scriptural teaching. 00:11:17.440 --> 00:11:22.320 But the Jews, of course, had misrepresented it, misconstrued it. 00:11:22.399 --> 00:11:30.399 The Pharisees had taken this and used it for their own selfish endeavors that were actually contrary to the heart of the law. 00:11:30.559 --> 00:11:31.600 Like they did with lust. 00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:32.480 We saw this last week. 00:11:32.559 --> 00:11:34.799 The Bible does indeed say don't commit adultery. 00:11:34.879 --> 00:11:46.960 The Pharisees took that, you know, the lowest common denominator, there, the lowest shelf of committing adultery is, you know, actual sexual relations with somebody other than your wife, and they excused all manner of lust. 00:11:47.039 --> 00:11:52.240 They said, I can do whatever I want to in my heart because I'm not actually committing adultery, so I'm a-okay. 00:11:52.399 --> 00:12:00.240 They were taking God's law and twisting it, even though they got the words correct, but twisting it to justify their own self-righteousness. 00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:04.320 And when I say self-righteousness, I don't mean that they were actually pursuing righteousness. 00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:05.360 Of course not. 00:12:05.679 --> 00:12:07.440 They were pursuing their own ends. 00:12:07.600 --> 00:12:09.840 They were pursuing what they wanted to pursue. 00:12:10.080 --> 00:12:14.960 It's the equivalent here of saying, you know, I know the conclusion is I'm going to divorce my wife. 00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:19.440 Now let me open the Bible and find a passage that teaches me to divorce my wife. 00:12:20.879 --> 00:12:22.000 I know where I want to go. 00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:24.559 Let me just find the right verse to take me there. 00:12:25.919 --> 00:12:29.600 Well, Jesus does not start his Bible study that way. 00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:34.879 That's why at the end of the Sermon on the Mount, the Pharisees were just, well, the whole crowd was astonished at him. 00:12:34.960 --> 00:12:37.360 They said, nobody has taught like him before. 00:12:37.519 --> 00:12:40.799 Because everybody else is bringing on their own selfish agendas into it. 00:12:40.960 --> 00:12:43.440 Jesus is starting with just what the, what does the Bible say? 00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:46.879 And he does not start by saying, What does the Bible say about divorce? 00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:50.559 He starts by saying, What does the Bible say about marriage? 00:12:51.679 --> 00:12:54.320 And I'll give you a little outline to track along with. 00:12:54.480 --> 00:12:56.559 First, the intention of marriage. 00:12:57.600 --> 00:13:00.320 The intention of marriage. 00:13:00.960 --> 00:13:04.159 The intention of marriage is that it would be unbreakable. 00:13:05.600 --> 00:13:10.960 Marriage is designed by God to be an unbreakable union. 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:13.519 Now, Jesus doesn't go into that so much here. 00:13:13.759 --> 00:13:16.720 It's implied from last week where we talked about adultery. 00:13:16.960 --> 00:13:19.919 At the end of Jesus' life, people are going to circle back to this point. 00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:21.679 In Matthew 19, they're going to come back to him. 00:13:21.759 --> 00:13:24.879 And the disciples who were here for the Sermon on the Mount are going to have some questions. 00:13:25.039 --> 00:13:26.480 They bring it up at the end of his life. 00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:32.000 And so that's how, that should just be a little marker for you about how countercultural Jesus' teaching here is. 00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:42.159 He gives the whole Sermon on the Mount, and you know, three years later, the disciples said, okay, Jesus, before you are crucified, I have a question for you about divorce from three years ago. 00:13:42.480 --> 00:13:44.320 They were stewing on this for a while. 00:13:44.399 --> 00:13:47.919 And that's where Jesus clears up a lot of what he said there. 00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:51.039 And so I'm going to bring in some of Matthew 19 into this morning's discussion. 00:13:51.120 --> 00:13:54.240 And that should make sense to you all because, you know, you understand this. 00:13:54.320 --> 00:13:59.200 When Jesus teaches on a topic, he doesn't say everything about that topic in that one event, you know? 00:13:59.519 --> 00:14:01.519 He teaches on it repeatedly throughout his life. 00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:03.360 So you got to kind of corral it all. 00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:12.480 And in Matthew 19, he says, you know, you're not going to understand the teaching on divorce until you get this basic principle that in the beginning, God did not design marriages for divorce. 00:14:12.639 --> 00:14:14.879 Marriage was designed to be unbreakable. 00:14:15.840 --> 00:14:26.559 For this reason, Genesis says, a man will leave his father and his mother, hold fast to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 00:14:27.039 --> 00:14:28.879 This is divine mathematics. 00:14:29.120 --> 00:14:32.240 One plus one equals one. 00:14:34.639 --> 00:14:38.240 Two people come together and they form a new family. 00:14:39.679 --> 00:14:47.840 It's an ontological reality that is, of course, demonstrated and manifest by the sexual union, but the truth is deeper than that. 00:14:47.919 --> 00:14:54.000 It's a spiritual union, a new unit, an ontological reality. 00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:58.720 And I say ontological reality, that just means, you know, at a level of being, marriage creates oneness. 00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:06.080 It's an ontological reality, not a Facebook status, not a tax exemption. 00:15:06.240 --> 00:15:07.919 That's not what this is after. 00:15:08.639 --> 00:15:11.279 Not records filed at the courthouse. 00:15:13.440 --> 00:15:18.080 Some people ask me after first service, you know, for a marriage, does it have to be valid? 00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:19.759 Does it have to be in front of a pastor? 00:15:19.919 --> 00:15:21.440 Does it have to be in front of a judge? 00:15:21.600 --> 00:15:23.759 Does it have to be in front of anybody? 00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:27.759 You know, what it what what's the actual bare minimum requirement for a marriage here? 00:15:27.919 --> 00:15:32.559 And understand marriage is when two people join together to live their life together. 00:15:32.639 --> 00:15:34.159 They can make a commitment. 00:15:34.399 --> 00:15:38.080 Every culture has different, you know, displays of that. 00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:48.639 From you, there's cows that are exchanged to money that's exchanged, to handshakes that are exchanged, to swords that are exchanged, to judges that are involved. 00:15:48.799 --> 00:15:49.919 It's different all over the world. 00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:53.120 Marriage is a common grace that is global, it exists in every culture. 00:15:53.279 --> 00:15:55.120 God designed it globally. 00:15:55.919 --> 00:15:58.639 You don't have to be a Christian to enjoy marriage. 00:15:59.200 --> 00:16:03.200 God designed marriage to be the grace of life, Peter says. 00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:04.879 Non-Christians can enjoy marriage. 00:16:04.960 --> 00:16:08.159 Marriage makes life fun, it makes life enjoyable. 00:16:08.480 --> 00:16:12.559 Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount talks about common grace with rain as the example. 00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:14.639 That God loves his enemies. 00:16:14.799 --> 00:16:16.559 He's not talking about the love for the elect. 00:16:16.639 --> 00:16:18.639 The love for the elect is seen in the death of Christ. 00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:20.960 But the love for the world is seen in common grace. 00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:22.559 That God gives the world marriage. 00:16:22.639 --> 00:16:23.519 He gives the world rain. 00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:26.320 It falls on the just and the unjust alike. 00:16:26.480 --> 00:16:29.919 You don't have to be a Christian to eat food grown by rain. 00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:32.639 You don't have to be a Christian to enjoy a milkshake. 00:16:32.720 --> 00:16:34.320 That's a great example of common grace. 00:16:34.480 --> 00:16:35.600 Milkshakes. 00:16:37.360 --> 00:16:41.360 Christians can enjoy milkshakes and non-Christians can enjoy milkshakes. 00:16:41.679 --> 00:16:42.559 Sunrises. 00:16:42.720 --> 00:16:44.799 Christians and non-Christians can enjoy sunrises. 00:16:44.960 --> 00:16:48.240 The rain, Christians and non-Christians can eat food. 00:16:48.799 --> 00:16:49.679 And marriage. 00:16:49.840 --> 00:16:53.200 Christians and non-Christians can enjoy marriage. 00:16:54.559 --> 00:16:57.919 It's supposed to be an unbreakable union. 00:16:58.399 --> 00:17:06.160 God takes Eve from Adam to make him a help meet suitable for himself. 00:17:06.559 --> 00:17:08.480 Eve was tailor-made for Adam. 00:17:08.559 --> 00:17:12.160 And by tailor-made, you don't get much more tailor-made than made out of your rib, you know? 00:17:13.440 --> 00:17:14.960 That's personally designed. 00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:15.599 You know the difference. 00:17:15.680 --> 00:17:16.640 You know what tailor-made means. 00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:21.359 The difference between getting a suit made from scratch for you personally versus off the shelf. 00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:28.319 The idea behind marriage is that the two were made, tailor-made for each other. 00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:36.079 Now, before we go on here on marriage, a word about singleness, because I know many of you are single. 00:17:36.559 --> 00:17:39.279 As you're listening to this, many of you are single and want to be married. 00:17:39.440 --> 00:17:46.079 Understand that in the agrarian society of the ancient Near East East, singleness was not a blessing. 00:17:46.559 --> 00:17:50.559 Singleness meant basically you didn't have a way to pass down property. 00:17:50.720 --> 00:17:55.599 Even in the Greco-Roman world, singleness was not viewed highly. 00:17:56.880 --> 00:18:03.039 It regulated you or relegated you to the kind of sidelines of most of functioning society there. 00:18:03.119 --> 00:18:07.839 There are some notable exceptions, but for the most part, singleness was not a blessing or a virtue. 00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:10.319 Now, all of that changes in the church. 00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:12.000 This is a key part for you to understand. 00:18:12.160 --> 00:18:16.240 1 Corinthians 7, Matthew 19, when Jesus goes back to this again in Matthew 19. 00:18:16.319 --> 00:18:22.000 In both places, Jesus teaches that in the church, singleness is a blessing. 00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:24.559 In the church, singleness is a virtue. 00:18:24.799 --> 00:18:26.000 Different than the world. 00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:31.680 Singleness is not a common grace, but it is a Christian grace. 00:18:32.799 --> 00:18:44.160 1 Corinthians 7, Paul says that God made, you know, some people are called and saved in singleness, and they can be singularly devoted to the gospel ministry. 00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:49.119 Not that they're all, you know, professional ministers, but in their life, they can have a singular focus. 00:18:49.200 --> 00:18:56.559 They can be serving in their church and they can be giving of their money and they can be taking advantage of different opportunities that married people just can't do. 00:18:57.440 --> 00:19:01.359 That's why it's a blessing for Christians to be single. 00:19:01.519 --> 00:19:04.480 The example Paul gives, you know, is single-minded. 00:19:04.559 --> 00:19:08.799 I think just practically, you know, there's an evangelism opportunity for me after church on a Sunday. 00:19:09.119 --> 00:19:17.680 I want to take that evangelism opportunity, but I also want to make sure my family gets lunch and my interests are divided. 00:19:17.839 --> 00:19:19.440 I want to do both things. 00:19:19.599 --> 00:19:21.039 What's the right thing to do? 00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:23.440 There's division in the married person's mind. 00:19:23.519 --> 00:19:26.160 The single person doesn't have that division. 00:19:28.000 --> 00:19:30.960 So in the church, singleness is a blessing. 00:19:31.440 --> 00:19:34.880 Now Jesus doesn't talk about that in Matthew 5 because he's not talking about the church yet. 00:19:34.960 --> 00:19:36.640 He's talking to his disciples out on the hill. 00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:43.519 He does talk about it in Matthew 19 because he's already taught on the church in Matthew 16, Matthew 18, he's getting ready to launch the church into the world. 00:19:43.680 --> 00:19:44.400 That's the distinction. 00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:46.160 But I just want you to file that in the back of your mind. 00:19:46.240 --> 00:19:53.839 If you're single and listening to this, if you're single and listening to this, that one single person tell me, man, I wish divorce was something I got to worry about. 00:19:56.000 --> 00:20:02.960 You know, but if you're listening to this and you're single, understand that God has a blessing for single people in Christ, in the church. 00:20:03.119 --> 00:20:05.119 There's great freedom in that. 00:20:05.759 --> 00:20:10.559 But for the married, understand that God designed marriage to be unbreakable. 00:20:11.680 --> 00:20:14.880 Now, what of those in rough marriages or difficult marriages? 00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:22.640 And I use the word rough here, not because I'm trying to minimize any kind of sin in a marriage or slight it or undervalue it by calling it rough. 00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:24.720 I just really can't think of a better word for it. 00:20:25.839 --> 00:20:30.240 What about those in rough marriages or marriages that are are difficult? 00:20:30.559 --> 00:20:34.880 And you think I shouldn't be called by God to stay in this marriage. 00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:42.400 And you have to kind of take a step back and ask yourself, what is God doing in your marriage? 00:20:43.279 --> 00:20:46.160 What is God doing in the world? 00:20:46.880 --> 00:20:49.920 You really need to go back to the first question of the catechism. 00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:51.519 What is the chief end of man? 00:20:51.680 --> 00:20:53.519 Like, why did God make you? 00:20:54.720 --> 00:21:00.319 And he made you, the chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying him forever. 00:21:00.559 --> 00:21:08.559 God made you to glorify him through your delight in him, not through your delight in marriage, not through your delight in the things of this world. 00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:09.920 That's not why he made you. 00:21:10.079 --> 00:21:14.799 Those can be secondary or tertiary benefits, but God made you to glorify him by delighting in him. 00:21:15.039 --> 00:21:21.920 And so there are trials in this world in any number of flavors and circumstances, from health trials to work trials to family trials. 00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:32.160 Those trials are all designed, as James teaches, to sanctify you by peeling away other things that you take delight and joy and comfort and find your identity in. 00:21:32.240 --> 00:21:38.480 Those are all burned away like metal has its informities burned away in fire. 00:21:39.279 --> 00:21:49.839 So you go through trials in this life, not just marriage, but a number of trials to sanctify you, to increase your enjoyment and your delight and your confidence and your trust in God. 00:21:50.079 --> 00:21:51.519 That's the reality. 00:21:53.039 --> 00:21:56.079 You don't know why God is causing you to go through this trial or that trial. 00:21:56.160 --> 00:21:58.079 So you got to start with what do you know? 00:21:58.240 --> 00:22:01.839 You know for sure that God God made you to glorify him. 00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:08.319 You know for also sure that God designed marriage to be unbreakable. 00:22:09.200 --> 00:22:13.359 Secondly, God gives the provision of divorce. 00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:16.640 He does give a provision of divorce. 00:22:16.880 --> 00:22:18.799 And this is an example of his mercy. 00:22:18.960 --> 00:22:20.960 His provision of divorce is merciful. 00:22:21.039 --> 00:22:23.920 And this is where we pick up Jesus' words in verse 31. 00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:28.240 It was said, Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. 00:22:28.400 --> 00:22:34.240 Now he's quoting here, when Jesus said you've heard it said, he's quoting Matthew 20, or Deuteronomy 24, verse 1. 00:22:34.559 --> 00:22:42.000 Deuteronomy 24 is Moses saying, if you divorce your wife for sexual immorality, you have to write her a certificate of divorce. 00:22:42.160 --> 00:22:46.319 So Moses allows for divorce in the case of sexual immorality. 00:22:47.039 --> 00:22:48.559 A couple comments on this. 00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:52.559 That word sexual immorality from Deuteronomy 24, it's not in a vacuum. 00:22:52.640 --> 00:23:08.960 It's coming from Deuteronomy 22, where it says a husband and wife get married and there's not evidences of the wife's virginity or the husband suspects sexual immorality for some reason or adultery, they can go before the priest and they have different options available. 00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:10.640 They can get the marriage annulled. 00:23:10.720 --> 00:23:17.200 They can uh if if there's a misunderstanding or if there's actual sin involved, if it's adultery, the woman could be put to death. 00:23:17.279 --> 00:23:20.079 She could be stoned to death, is what's supposed to happen. 00:23:22.640 --> 00:23:25.200 This is not a foolproof system either, by the way. 00:23:25.359 --> 00:23:28.799 In Numbers chapter five, you want to read the absolutely bonkers chapter in the Bible. 00:23:28.960 --> 00:23:34.000 Numbers chapter five, the guy thinks his wife has had an affair, the wife denies it. 00:23:34.079 --> 00:23:45.680 There's a test of water and ash that the woman drinks, and if her conscience is clear, there will be no ill effect and she'll be vindicated, and if her conscience condemns her for adultery, it'll be manifest to everybody, the text says. 00:23:45.839 --> 00:23:47.359 What a crazy chapter. 00:23:47.680 --> 00:23:50.160 Good thing I'm not teaching on that this morning. 00:23:51.119 --> 00:23:54.400 The point, though, is that it is not a foolproof system. 00:23:55.200 --> 00:24:02.640 The husband says, My wife's having an affair, and she denies it, and there's enough evidence to convict her, but not enough evidence to put her to death. 00:24:02.799 --> 00:24:03.519 What do you do? 00:24:03.680 --> 00:24:14.240 And God says in Deuteronomy 23, and he uses the same word from chapter 24, he says, Do not tolerate that kind of sexual immorality in your midst, or I won't even walk with you anymore. 00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:18.319 God says, I will deny you as my people if you tolerate that. 00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:19.920 So what then? 00:24:20.559 --> 00:24:21.839 Deuteronomy 24. 00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:24.799 The husband says, My wife has committed that kind of sin. 00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:26.960 She is sexually immoral. 00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:29.599 She should be put to death. 00:24:31.759 --> 00:24:34.240 But there's debate. 00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:36.640 And God says he's not going to tolerate it. 00:24:36.799 --> 00:24:37.599 Now what? 00:24:39.039 --> 00:24:42.240 And Moses says, write her a certificate of divorce. 00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:44.799 And send her away. 00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:46.799 Now part of this is to protect her, too. 00:24:47.119 --> 00:24:50.480 Say the husband is wrong or he's making up, it's a false allegation. 00:24:50.640 --> 00:24:51.440 He can't just leave her. 00:24:51.519 --> 00:24:53.599 If he just leaves her, she's abandoned. 00:24:53.759 --> 00:24:55.599 She can't get remarried. 00:24:56.559 --> 00:25:00.079 The certificate of divorce defends her rights and helps her. 00:25:00.319 --> 00:25:02.400 It's also a mercy if she is guilty. 00:25:02.480 --> 00:25:04.880 She shouldn't be hit in the head with rocks until she dies. 00:25:05.039 --> 00:25:07.519 Instead, she gets divorced. 00:25:08.319 --> 00:25:09.200 It's a mercy. 00:25:09.359 --> 00:25:14.000 And that, by the way, in Deuteronomy 24, is not even the main point of Deuteronomy 24. 00:25:14.480 --> 00:25:18.480 The main point that Moses is arguing here, and you gotta stay with me. 00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:22.240 The person, the husband, marries this woman. 00:25:22.720 --> 00:25:24.880 She commits sexual immorality. 00:25:25.119 --> 00:25:28.000 Rather than putting her to death, the husband divorces her. 00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:32.880 She then marries somebody else, husband number two. 00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:35.519 They're married for a period of time. 00:25:35.680 --> 00:25:39.359 Husband number two divorces her for sexual immorality also. 00:25:40.559 --> 00:25:42.079 This is Deuteronomy 24. 00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:46.559 Now she comes back to husband number one and wants to get remarried to husband number one. 00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:50.960 And Deuteronomy 24, the main point of theirs says, don't do it. 00:25:52.079 --> 00:25:57.119 For 10,000 reasons, but one of the reasons is that you're defiling the land if you do it, is what Moses says. 00:25:57.279 --> 00:25:59.200 So that's the main point of your mind. 00:25:59.279 --> 00:26:00.160 Did you keep up with that? 00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:05.039 You know, wife, divorce, second husband comes back to first husband, second divorce, all that. 00:26:05.200 --> 00:26:06.480 Did you follow all that? 00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:08.079 Well, the Jews didn't. 00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:12.319 The Jews didn't are in that, and they're like, so you're saying divorce is okay. 00:26:12.880 --> 00:26:14.319 That was the that's what they're doing. 00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:20.960 They latch on to 24, verse 1 and say, So Moses says, get a divorce, got it. 00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:31.200 Not at all what Moses said, but that's what they latch on to, because remember, they're starting their Bible study with, I want to get a divorce, what verse do I go to? 00:26:33.599 --> 00:26:41.039 The Jews said divorce is okay according to that passage, as long as the paperwork is filed. 00:26:42.960 --> 00:26:44.880 And Jesus says, no, no, no, no, no. 00:26:45.039 --> 00:26:49.519 They even say the Jews, they would even say that Moses commanded us, this comes back in Matthew 19. 00:26:49.680 --> 00:26:52.559 The Jews there say, Moses commanded us to divorce. 00:26:52.720 --> 00:26:54.960 He did no such thing. 00:26:57.839 --> 00:27:10.000 God allowing divorce no more authorizes divorce than you having a smoke detector in your house authorizes arson. 00:27:11.599 --> 00:27:16.160 Just because you put a smoke detector in your house doesn't mean you're okay with somebody burning the house down. 00:27:16.960 --> 00:27:24.240 Just because God says instead of stoning that woman to death, you can divorce her doesn't mean that God is okay with divorce. 00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:37.039 The Jews latched onto this and said, file the paperwork and then do what you want to do. 00:27:38.559 --> 00:27:46.640 The theologian in me wants to make sure you all understand there's a difference between God's perfect will and God's permissive will. 00:27:47.440 --> 00:27:50.480 God's perfect will, do not murder. 00:27:50.880 --> 00:27:54.079 God's permissive will, Jesus is murdered. 00:27:55.200 --> 00:27:57.920 God's perfect will, do not commit adultery. 00:27:58.079 --> 00:28:01.359 God's permissive will, David commits adultery with Bathsheba. 00:28:01.519 --> 00:28:05.200 From that relationship comes Solomon, from that relationship comes Christ. 00:28:05.599 --> 00:28:09.119 God's perfect will, do not get divorced. 00:28:09.279 --> 00:28:16.480 God's permissive will, if your spouse commits adultery, then send her away with a certificate of divorce. 00:28:16.559 --> 00:28:20.079 That does not mean that God is totes cool with divorce. 00:28:21.119 --> 00:28:24.720 There's a difference between his perfect will and his permission will. 00:28:24.880 --> 00:28:27.519 He hates murder, but he permits it. 00:28:28.319 --> 00:28:31.680 He hates divorce, but he permits it. 00:28:32.640 --> 00:28:35.519 So first, the intention of marriage, the marriage would be unbreakable. 00:28:35.680 --> 00:28:36.960 Second, the provision of divorce. 00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:41.599 It's an act of mercy instead of being stoned to death. 00:28:41.839 --> 00:28:45.200 Thirdly, the perversion of marriage. 00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:59.680 The Jews, of course, step in and say this justifies divorce for any reason whatsoever, anything that my wife did to fail to find favor in my eyes, I am allowed to get divorced. 00:28:59.839 --> 00:29:02.400 And Jesus says, This whole thing is messed up. 00:29:02.559 --> 00:29:05.759 Your sinful heart is messing everything up. 00:29:07.119 --> 00:29:17.920 I say to you, verse 32, the contrast to how the Jews are representing Deuteronomy 24, I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. 00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:20.079 We'll get to the exception clause in a second. 00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:23.599 So take that parentheses out of it and just read the full sentence. 00:29:23.759 --> 00:29:27.920 I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife makes her commit adultery. 00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:31.200 Whoever marries a divorced woman also commits adultery. 00:29:31.359 --> 00:29:35.519 If you divorce your spouse and she remarries, she's committing adultery. 00:29:35.680 --> 00:29:39.119 If you divorced your spouse and you remarry, you're committing adultery. 00:29:39.200 --> 00:29:43.039 It's just a lot of adultery because you made a sinful decision. 00:29:43.279 --> 00:29:45.839 This is connected to the verse before that we looked at last week. 00:29:45.920 --> 00:29:50.319 If you look at a person with lust in your heart, you are sowing the seeds of adultery. 00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:52.960 You've planted the seeds of adultery, you're watering a tree. 00:29:53.119 --> 00:29:55.599 Because why is somebody getting divorced, by the way? 00:29:55.759 --> 00:30:05.440 You know, they're married to this person, but they want to be married to that person, so they bounce from her and marry that person, and it just makes all these, it multiplies it, all these adulterous relationships now. 00:30:05.599 --> 00:30:07.599 You're looking at her with lust, adultery number one. 00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:09.359 You divorced your wife, adultery number two. 00:30:09.680 --> 00:30:11.359 She remarries, adultery number three. 00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:13.759 You remarry, adultery number four. 00:30:14.240 --> 00:30:18.160 Even if the person you remarried is it's her first marriage. 00:30:18.240 --> 00:30:23.839 She was as chaste as the German snow until your adulterous person married her. 00:30:25.519 --> 00:30:27.599 Now you're making her commit adultery. 00:30:27.759 --> 00:30:31.920 You're her first husband, but now she's an adulteress. 00:30:32.240 --> 00:30:38.400 You're the first person she's been with, but she's an adulteress because you illegitimately divorced your spouse and married her. 00:30:39.680 --> 00:30:44.240 It's just one adultery, adultery magnifies itself, it multiplies itself. 00:30:44.319 --> 00:30:45.359 That's what sin does too. 00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:46.400 We talked about that last week. 00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:50.720