Da Conch Salad Podcst
Da Conch Salad Podcast is a platform where real issues are discussed and solutions provided—rooted in Caribbean flavor and frank conversation. Join us for candid takes on politics, love and relationships, business, culture, and more, with guest perspectives, practical advice, and the warmth, humor, and rhythm of island life. Tune in for honest dialogue, actionable ideas, and the unapologetic Caribbean vibes that keep the conversation lively.
Da Conch Salad Podcst
Love, Relationships, and Divorce
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Love can bring us together, but relationships can also challenge us in ways we never expected. In Episode 4 of Da Conch Salad Podcast, we’re having a real and honest conversation about love, relationships, marriage, and divorce.
What does it really take to build a healthy relationship? How do you know when a relationship is worth fighting for—and when it’s time to let go? We’re talking about communication, commitment, trust, expectations, heartbreak, and the realities of divorce, while exploring how relationships can change us and teach us about ourselves.
No fairy tales. No judgment. Just real talk about love, the good, the bad, the lessons, and everything in between.
🐚 Da Conch Salad Podcast
🎙️ Real Conversations • Real Experiences • Bahamian Perspectives • Culture • Life
Pull up a seat, join the conversation, and let’s talk about love.
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Salad unfiltered Caribbean conversations. I'm Anton Brooks coming to you from Freeport Bahamas. And I'm Kathy coming to you from Houston, Texas. Tonight we're discussing something almost everyone used, every one of us have experienced. That's love, relationships, heartbreak, marriage, and divorce. I was married for 25 years and I've been divorced for three years. Kathy has experienced a little bit of a relationship challenge, just a little bit, and maybe she considered this all divorce now and then. And then we have our special guest, Kamani Parkinson. He's recently gone through some uh situational challenges, that's what we like to call him. And Kamani has an uh interesting personal history. He came from, he ran through England, he kept going through the United States, he went through Jamaica, so he's a world traveler, a businessman, a serial entrepreneur. But we're bringing three different perspectives here tonight. We're bringing someone who has been recently divorced and had some relationship, someone who's been in a long-term relationship. But tonight is not about attacking people or attacking spouses or talking. It's just three individuals, three friends sitting around the table discussing relationships and giving each other relationship advice. So, Kamani, welcome to the Kong Salad. Tell us, tell the audience a little bit about yourself.
SPEAKER_00Um, first of all, Kathy Antoine, it's a really a pleasure to be here on the Kong Salat tonight. I love the progress and the growth that the show has just received and the overwhelming support that you guys are getting thus far, you know. So, and I wish the show full success. Um, Kimani in a nutshell, you know, is a humble Jamaican British American, um, well traveled. Um migrated to Jamaica just after finishing my tertiary education and uh went on to teach in Jamaica, went to the United Kingdom, and I worked in healthcare and I did some property investments there. And then I went I migrated to America and I actually cooked for a few months um to survive during COVID. And then I went on where my logistics journey started in covering uh um long haul trucks across the United States, you know, dispatching, um organizing different individuals using our uh motor carrier numbers and our DOT numbers, and then I branched off into logistics as it relates to get import and export, and that is my passion now, and uh it has been very good to me. So, in a nutshell, that's me.
SPEAKER_04Glory, glory be to God. Um, I do want to say we are not, you know, we are not licensed, what do they call it? You know, the people who want to sit in the chair, yeah, those people that I run from. We're not licensed therapists, we're not doctors, we're just giving you our wholehearted experience and um wisdom that we've gained, you know, through life experience. So um, Kamani, I want to say this is like full circle for me because I get to sit in between both my brothers, one is a biological brother, one is a brother by the heart, but really my brother. And I, you know, I be trying to tell people I am a soldier because I'm surrounded by soldiers. And you guys are two of the soldiers that you know I can count on. I can pick up the phone and make sure that you guys will be on the other end. But I'm gonna ask you a question. Do you feel like you learned, you know, how to love from childhood? Do you think that that's what basically was the core of where you learned love?
SPEAKER_00Um, I I believe uh heavily in social learning, and I want to say from a very tender age, I was exposed to love, um, care, and also a lot of nurturing that came from my parents and other um individuals have been involved in my uh whole growth and development from those formative years. And I think that it has shaped me into becoming a very nurturing and caring individual. So I strongly agree with that.
SPEAKER_04So I know personally, and you know, I we all could speak from our own experience. I had childhood trauma. Um, I think that that's kind of what kind of, of course, it's embedded in me. You know, I carry it with me daily. I don't think that I've completely healed from it, to be honest. But do you feel as if there's been any childhood trauma that um affects your relationships now as an adult?
SPEAKER_00Um, I think that I have struggled with trust to a level um over the years, and you know, people just being genuine. I think that I give all, and maybe sometimes my expectations are become a bit too high. Um, because I I don't think that one hand can clap, you understand what I'm saying? So therefore, if I'm giving and not receiving, you know, there's so much that one can bear. You know, if you're giving your entire being to someone or a particular situation and you don't feel it's been reciprocated or appreciated, then you know it's not encouraging, you know, incentive kind of sweetens the labor. I know, right? Here and dear.
SPEAKER_02So so can you tell us like when you were maybe a kid or an adolescent or something, or even maybe even adult, like uh like 18, 19, 20 growing up and finding out about love, was there a specific incident or something that occurred that made you kind of doubt love or kind of approach or approach love with more cautiously, or anything like that?
SPEAKER_00Um, I I want to say that I've been very open to love. Um, so if I meet someone and you know, all the I believe that all the stars aligned and you know it is to be, then I'd give it my all. So um, whilst I'm very open and willing to accommodate love, um, I've just been cautious. It has not been one specific incident or instance, but that is just me by nature, I think.
SPEAKER_02What about you, Kathy? Um was it can you think of a time when you were young and something happened? I know you mentioned trauma earlier. Um, did something like um, I don't know, what happened, like what made you kind of doubt love or or or even want to seek it more?
SPEAKER_04Um, I think that, and that's why I'm so firm on trying to keep together a two-parent home. I think that not being raised with my father and home made a difference. I think that I looked for that void that I had from basically daddy issues in men, which, you know, I always dated older men. I always basically was letting older men groom me, to be honest. But I was looking for what, not saying that I didn't know that my father loved me, but he wasn't present. And, you know, as a child, you don't get to choose who your parents love. So my mother, you know, was married to someone that, you know, wasn't the best. Let me just leave it as that. Wasn't the best. I'm over it, you know. If I see him now, we can have a conversation. But um, he wasn't the best. You know, I experienced abuse from him and verbal and physical. So, and to be honest, when I was a kid, I don't know if you remember this. When I was a kid, instead of my mom addressing it properly, I was sent to counseling and I was not allowed to go home after school. So I was forced to go to a friend's house and stay there until my mom can get off of work and pick me up because I had too much mouth to a man that was disrespectful. So for me, you know, I'm demon. And even at a young age, if you do something and it ain't right, I can call it out. And because of that, I feel like I feel like my mom didn't stand up for me where she should have. You know, and that's and that's like I'm very I'm gonna always stand up for Zakai. Not saying that Zakai is always right, right? But I'm always gonna be present, I'm never gonna, he'll never feel neglect, or he'll never feel like I'm not being the mother that I should be. I would always be present, put it that way.
SPEAKER_02Come on, when was the first time you you had a heartbreak? Can you can you describe it, man?
SPEAKER_04Hey, we just call that my Coby, you know?
SPEAKER_00When the first time you have my coby, you know. Um, I I I I I over the past two years I've gone through a lot of um therapy, and I'll say that I am still yet to identify if I've experienced like true heartbreak. Um I I think that I've got the ability to like I get to a certain point where you know, if I say enough is enough, and I and I and I did even say this to my therapist, and what she responded to say is that the person that walks away, they have already processed everything. So the person who you leave behind, they they they face a shock. So with that shock comes the heartbreak. I have felt disappointment, I have felt some form of regret to say that you know you have made emotional investments, but I think that because it's a process that I've gone through, it more prepares me for that separation per se. Um and you become very vulnerable in in relationships, right? Um, and it it I've felt really deep disappointment, but I won't say that I've locked myself in a room and cried. No, I've never ball. No, you never cried over a woman. No, no, no, who is you? I don't believe like a money.
SPEAKER_04Don't make me first cloud.
SPEAKER_00No, man, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_04You never cry.
SPEAKER_00No, I'm never ball.
SPEAKER_04I thought you cried when I moved to Houston.
SPEAKER_00Of course, over you, yeah. Disappointed, you understand. Um, I celebrated your move and everything, but at the same time, you know. Um I I I think maybe I I don't know.
SPEAKER_04So you never cried from someone breaking your heart.
SPEAKER_00Never, never, never, never.
SPEAKER_04So when when this ball comes out, you're gonna ball to your cam ball again.
SPEAKER_00Look like it, maybe, maybe I need to find that. You know, I've broken a few plates, you know. I've I've gone to the range, you understand what I'm saying? What yeah, I've expressed rage, but at the same time.
SPEAKER_04So let me ask you a question. Do you consider crying a form of weakness?
SPEAKER_00No, I don't. No, I don't. Um, I I learned the other day that a childhood friend of mine who lived in Boston, um, that he passed away, you know, and his sister just randomly called me the other day and said to me that, um, hey, how are you doing, Kimani? I didn't even get to call you from X funeral. And I'm like, funeral? And I sat, I sat like in total shock for about 10 minutes, and you know, individuals that were with me just told me that, you know, the tears came. You know, this is someone that called me the other day. We both are well, he he was doing really well. He had a landscaping company um up there in the Cape, and he was doing absolutely, he was killing it. And I for me, I I think that I'm doing fairly well in my industry also, you understand what I'm saying? So we we struggled together in Jamaica, but then was it a sudden death? It was, it was. Um, but then we we never got to really like celebrate our wins, you understand? And and I think that for me, we used to we used to go out at nights, we used to share food, you understand what I'm saying? We would hang out. That was my homeboy, right? And to say that distance separated us, you understand what I'm saying? And you know, as you get older, some of those connections you don't really it fade, you don't yeah, it fades a bit, but then it's really true whenever you reconnect, you understand? And it's it's sad that we didn't get a chance to really like ball, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04With with with the sudden death, though, you know, I would say that men, I mean, factual, this is facts, not Kathy facts, that real facts. Men have higher mortality rates than women. I joke and say women stress you guys out and then you end up having heart attacks and die, right? But I think it's because men keep things in, and you know, emotions can cause illnesses and pre-existing conditions. Like men do not. I'm so proud that both of you guys are going to therapy. It just tells me that I need to get in a chair, but but I'm so proud of you guys. But it's like men don't really don't really share what's going on, they don't have a safe place.
SPEAKER_00No, yeah. Well, I think for me personally, like um I neglected like having a solid support system, especially outside of relationships, and that is something that I um really prided myself now at 40. You understand what I'm saying? I'm building a solid support system outside of you know home because sometimes you need a distraction, you understand what I'm saying? So um I'm sure that we'll get to talk a bit more about that, but having a good solid support system is really key for good mental health.
SPEAKER_02So, what you said solid support system. So, what what what are one of the things that you think maybe destroys relationships? Is you think like it's one big thing that happens, like some big incident, or you think it's usually built up?
SPEAKER_00So, um, I I I would say like big things like happening if a partner finds out that another one is cheating or something like that, that can be um a factor, you know. That that's that's considered like a big thing, and somebody will in which country, well that is that too, you know.
SPEAKER_04Uh in Jamaica, they have meaty and in the Bahamas they get sweet out.
SPEAKER_00So which country that well listen, no, but what I'm saying is that big things like that can cause a relationship to break down, you know, and yeah, but however, um for me it has not been one situation or one incident that has led um me to actually walk away from a relationship. So I I don't really so I don't really agree with that, Anton. Right.
SPEAKER_02Have had you said you've been through some therapy. Has therapy therapy made you look at your the your behavior? Has therapy helped you to look at your behavior differently now that you have time to look back?
SPEAKER_00Most certainly, um, you know, it it's good that you know you know yourself, but then do you really know yourself? Yeah, right. And I want to say that some I've had to face some demons, some personal demons, you understand what I'm saying? And um, it's good when you're able to identify and you're able to um realize that sometimes, like for me, one of my biggest weaknesses was that I saw myself as this knight in shining armor coming to maybe save the world, and it didn't not only just um relate to relationships, but then in general, you know, I emphasize a lot and I I see the situation that everyone is going it through, and I want to be I want to be able to help every situation, but now I say sod that shit, you understand what I'm saying? I've got my own problems, you understand what I'm saying? I can't really save the world, you know. Right, right. So I'm a bit tougher, I'm a bit harder, I'm a bit more outspoken now as it relates to how I feel. And as you were saying earlier, that um a lot of men we we we hold it down, you understand. As a man, you have to really just like you have to hold up your stress. But um no, if if it's a no, I'm gonna say it's a. You understand what I'm saying? If you bring bullshit to the table, I'm gonna tell you that you're you're bringing bullshit to the table. You know, I ain't eating that pie for dinner. Yeah, yeah. If you cook, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I agree. I think I think when what happens is when you once you know yourself, and what you find that you become more confident in setting boundaries and voicing, not only setting them, but voicing them, and being like, uh this is not something that I wanna, I'm not gonna just let this slip because I've been through this before, it has not worked out, and I don't wanna, I already could see that if I don't say how I feel right now, and right now, it's just gonna end up building and building and building to the point, yeah, to the point where somebody has to walk away.
SPEAKER_04Let me ask you a question. How do you deal with if your mate like and it could be your mate or just genuine relationships, right? How do you deal with people that listen to respond and they don't really listen to hear you?
SPEAKER_00Um it I remember uh I think maybe I was in high school and you I got the definition of hearing and listening. And I've had a lot of people who just hear and they tell you sweet nothings, you understand? Um emotionless reassurances, you understand what I'm saying? Um, and it's like putting on a band aid and a festering wound. Um, it just doesn't work any at all. So what I want, you know, going forward is definitely somebody who takes his time to listen, understand, and action and and stick to what they say.
SPEAKER_04Not a bag of mouth. Um, so let me ask you a question. What is your like if you had a perfect, you know, no one's perfect, but an imperfect woman, what what does she look like?
SPEAKER_00Um, for me, it's somebody who takes the time out to understand me while I take the time out to understand them. Somebody who we have similar values on life, you understand what I'm saying? And definitely somebody who is spiritual to an extent where we can both identify to say that when the day gets hard, we have a central source of faith and strength that we can lean on outside of us. And somebody who is supportive, and I take support quite serious because I want you to grow, and I want to see that you want me to grow also, and I want the individual, I want to understand the ins and outs of what you do, you understand the ins and outs of what I do, and we can just give genuine support to each other.
SPEAKER_04So you don't care about looks, then care ugly once they have a good art.
SPEAKER_00You know, uh for me, I I I'm not looking for a social media woman, definitely not. You understand what I'm saying? I'm not looking for social media.
SPEAKER_04Oh, you don't want to buy you don't want an Instagram thought.
SPEAKER_00No, no, no, no. You understand what I'm saying? I I want to live and experience life for what it is, embrace each day for what it brings, learn from it, and grow in wisdom together with somebody. And I'm not looking to go to any one location and just take pictures, you understand what I'm saying? And and I'm portrayed to the world that I've got the perfect relationship. You know, I've been there and done that, where the entire world thinks that you know Kimani have the road, you know, you know what I'm saying? Like I have it, everything just looks good on social media, but then when you peel back or you open the closed doors, you know, it's it's it's messy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I like I think women somehow underestimate men and think that men want this, like Kathy describe it as this Instagram model. Yeah, yeah. Men will fuck the Instagram model, yeah. Yes, we definitely would whatever. But we ain't keeping her, she ain't coming home, she's not gonna make our wives.
SPEAKER_04But let me ask you a question though. Yeah, the guy, the woman that you would want now is that the same one that you would have wanted a decade ago.
SPEAKER_00Um, I I think that I've always been looking for my ideal, and I'll tell you that you've got a lot of chameleons out there, Michelle! You know, um, individual will look apart, and you know, sometimes you think that getting with somebody who is different from a different background, um, grown up differently, have had different work experience, you understand what I'm saying? I I I've seen a few different patterns that I have had over the years. Um, but overall, I will say I've known what I've been looking for, and that void, you know, um, was not filled. And I think that now that I understand me more and I want to communicate it more, um, I'm finding that more.
SPEAKER_02But you do you not feel that now that you know yourself better? Those what you call chameleons, it's sort of like I find that me myself, I don't want to speak for you, but I want you to still answer the question. I could spot them a mile away, like they're so easy to recognize right now.
SPEAKER_00It you know, based on situations, I'll tell you, Aunt Wanana, sometimes you do believe that a situation is right for you, and you see the red flags, and you want to say that no, you can this person is able to to to to adopt into what you're looking for, you understand what I'm saying? And because of love, you are you you give chances and chances and chances? You understand? He knows, he knows exactly. You understand? So for me, like uh, you know, so now if I see a red flag, bloody hell.
SPEAKER_01I had to see a fire truck.
SPEAKER_04So so let me ask you guys a question, and I want you guys to ask me this question as well. Do you think that men truly understand women?
SPEAKER_00I think so. I take the time to to understand who I'm with. Um you cannot 100% understand another individual, I think, but I do think that what you should do is to be patient enough to take the time to understand your partner, right? And um respect for respect for who they are, you understand I'm saying, and one thing that I've always said to myself and and made a promise is that I don't want to be committed in a relationship for 25-30 years and not be happy, and then look back at my life and say, bloody hell, I didn't live.
SPEAKER_04I remember you told me that. Uh yeah, you understand that's why you were okay with walking away because you said that you can't be this way two decades.
SPEAKER_00I remember you told me that. You understand what I'm saying? So, whilst you want to make your relationship work, because you know, but you have public opinion, you know what will people say when this perfect marriage is has failed? You understand? But what I say now sudden public opinion, yeah. At the end of the night, I want to know that I'm going to my bed feeling that I had a bloody hell good day, you know.
SPEAKER_02So how do but honestly, how did that feel when you first walked away? Did you feel did you feel like you were um you were a failure, you failed at something? How did that feel?
SPEAKER_00I mean, I don't know how I want to say that like for me, when I um when I decided to make like say my last relationship formal, I wanted to do it in front of friends and family. You understand what I'm saying? Because I wanted that commitment so people could also hold me accountable in the relationship. But at the point when a decision is made to walk away, you would have been comfortable enough to say that you know I did what I needed to do to make it work. So at the point of walking away, I've already processed that, but then the individual maybe left in the situation will take some time to process that and would be concerned about what others might think. But um at the point of walking away, I was already comfortable that you know I didn't owe anybody any answers because I have got me to be accountable to, and that's all that matters to me.
SPEAKER_02Well, I guess we have different stories, so we have different outlines. It's sort of like when I remember when it first happened to me, I was completely embarrassed, I was completely heartbroken. I was the one who felt like you're saying, I wasn't the one who walked away, so it kind of took me as like you said, you you basically described exactly what what happened. Like I was you know, like it took me aback, and I couldn't believe it. Who the hell would leave me? I mean, come on.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02But um, now that I've uh I've uh like I time to heal and been through everything, it's it's it's uh it's it was I it's an eye-opening experience, and I and I really like it. I really so would you consider now that you've been through all this, would you consider doing it all over again?
SPEAKER_00Ay, aye, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um I I want to say that I I grew up in a household where my parents did not live together, and I hated actually growing up, actually having to you know be at mom's in the week and then dad on the weekend. It it was very strenuous for me. Um, I ate pork on the weekends, but I did not eat pork on weekdays based on faith. You understand what I'm saying? There were total different values in different households, you know, different parenting styles. Um, my dad is way different from how my mom is, you understand? And one parent thinking that you love the other more than how you understand like you love each other more, you understand. One will say, Oh, you love your mother more, love your father more, you understand what I'm saying? So that back and forth, I think that for me, I hated that. So um, and I've always said that I wanted to have um a I want to have a wife, I want to have a family, you understand. Um, and and having children, I want to make sure that my kids are in a two-parent home, right? So I've always said that I value you know having a child, and and this might sound very crazy to you. If I have a child, I ain't going nowhere, you know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but you're gonna stay for the child.
SPEAKER_00I I I think I would.
SPEAKER_04That's the only reason why I would maybe sacrifice more because you don't want your kid to go through what you're through what I went through, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And this is you know, Kamani, you brought up a great point, and I, you know, women seem not to understand this. And sometimes when I'm talking to different women throughout life, and I'd be like, and they be like, I gotta leave, I'm this and that. And I'm like, Yeah, but a lot of men in society have stayed in marriages throughout their life when they were not happy, but they did it for the kids, and like I don't understand it's like this new wave of I need to live. Okay, I think Kathy I just told you this. I need my peace. What do you what I said? Women always say I need my peace, I need to live, I need to, I don't know. They say all kinds of stuff now on social media. I need to just be happy, I need to find, I need to do what's best for me, or whatever. But like you said, men, men do it all the time. Men have been doing it all the time. Men women do it too, though. No, I agree, I agree, I agree that both of us, both both, both people drink uh sex to do it.
SPEAKER_04So come on, you what keeps you grounded?
SPEAKER_00I think I just have a hunger for being the best version of myself and just knowing that I have I want to leave a legacy. You understand? So when I'm thinking I I want to I want to retire early, you understand what I'm saying? I I want to live my best life, right? So um that and along with that, I know that I've got responsibilities, um, it does keep me grounded and I am self-motivated just to be a changer. I am a break of generational curse. You understand, my life. And I I say that I just want to continue to be able to achieve things that my parents were not able to achieve. I want to raise the bar for my family. Um, I I share something with you. I remember one time I did like a career geneogram where you would look at your um your aunts, you know, your grandparents, dear siblings, and you know, generations, and try to map the different careers that have been there. And I'll say that my on my paternal grandfather was a fisherman, my maternal grandmother worked in a in a school, and my paternal grandfather was a farmer, and my matern my paternal grandmother was uh a homemaker. And it is surprising that the value of education that came from my maternal grandmother working at a school as a cleaner, right? Um, she realized the importance of her kids getting a good education. And then I can see where that has trickled down. But then on the other side, I think that it was just to come out of the country and get in the hotel industry, right? And then it kind of shifted to get to America, right? For my my uncles and aunts on my father's side, and some came to America and had a plan, while some did not make a plan post getting off the plane. You understand what I'm saying? Because getting to America was what's the plan? You know what?
SPEAKER_04That is so good because my mentor, let me tell you, my mentor, my mentor's from Columbia, and she came over here when she was 17. She also has a cousin that came, so they came around the same time. She's now um in her 60s, right? Yeah, but the cousin that came with her still financially struggles, still does not speak English. You know, my mentor makes passively over $50,000 a month, and their lives are completely different. Now, my mentor employs the cousin, and it's like it's choices, you know, same opportunity, same 24 hours. One said, I'm gonna do it no matter what, and one settled.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I ain't settling and I settled. Not at all. I'm I'm I'm so proud that I've been in in America for like six years, and you know, I want to say maybe mid-last year, I made a decision to go back return to Jamaica, you know, and and and expand my horizons. And when I went back to Jamaica and I was toying with the idea that listen, I'm gonna be here long term. People thought that I needed to go check in at the mental institution, yep, they take America. How can you leave America and go back to Jamaica to live after you've been so much different places? But that's where I find peace, yeah.
unknownRight?
SPEAKER_04Better quality of life.
SPEAKER_02I'm telling you, yeah. So, how do you balance your work and family life and love? Do you feel like sometimes love sometimes or the challenges of maintaining a relationship? How do you balance that? Like sometimes is working too much, or sometimes you gotta, you know, get spend some time with your spouse. Like, how do you balance that?
SPEAKER_00Um, it it it gets really difficult. Like over the past um, since like 2023, I've my my business have been in its formative years where you know I've was grinding. Catherine knows that you know I was waking up like before the break of morning, and you know, I wouldn't get back until late at night. Um, but then at some and even like today, last yesterday, I was at work from like seven o'clock and eight o'clock in the morning, and I came home from maybe an hour last night, showered, and then I went back to work until 2 a.m. this morning. I was back at work for nine o'clock this morning, and it's been a rough day. But at the same time, right, you can put in the hours because you're you're doing it for yourself and you're you're you have your motivation. But what is most important is that sometimes you have to just lock off and you have to dedicate planned time to your spouse, you have to make time for yourself also, and you know, you have to get that support system to say that when it gets hard, you can call on somebody, you know. Cathy and I have some really strange conversations sometimes randomly. Either she randomly calls me or randomly call her, we just chat shit. You understand what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02You have to have a shit talk in your life, but you need that shit in your life, like you can't just exactly, exactly.
SPEAKER_04You have to, you have to balance, and it's crazy that we all are serial entrepreneurs, you know.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_04Um, so speaking on that, what is many logistics and how did you get it started?
SPEAKER_00Oh okay, so many logistics was started out of um two of my business partners, they have got career companies in Jamaica, and uh um KCD Logistics started out of a need for them to have a US-based um warehouse where um they could receive customers' packages that are you know a third-party entity to which um individuals living in the Caribbean is able to stay at home and shop on Amazon, shop on Sheen, Fashion Over, any online platform. And instead of them sending it to your house to say, hey, store these packages for me until I come up, you understand what I'm saying? Or you're going down and and they ask you to bring this and bring that, you know. Um, they have the ability to shop online, and we give them the ability now to have a US address that their items can come to, and then we send their goods all over the Caribbean, clear their goods for them, and then they can receive it as if you know they they they are in America. Um go ahead. So um I realized that there were a lot of people in the diaspora who actually wanted to purchase things for their loved ones in the Caribbean. And I started Money's logistics to facilitate people in the diaspora wanting to send things back home and not wanting to wait until they're able to pack a barrel or a big box. So if their cousin wanted a shirt, they could just come and you know package the shirt and and ship it with myself via air cargo, and it it was well received, and I must say that it's really good that um the uh manies has just blown up, blown up, blown up, and then I went back to Jamaica and then I'm now offering the service also for people living in Jamaica and then across the Caribbean, also.
SPEAKER_04I'm so proud of you. So so proud of you.
SPEAKER_02Do you feel like what has been the difference in the way people do business in America, or has there been a difference in the way business is done, or the way how business people or entrepreneurs conduct themselves in the US versus how business is done in Jamaica? Like, has there been a difference for you?
SPEAKER_00Um going after being in England, which is very structured, um, I think that England laid the foundation for me as an entrepreneur to be really structured. My it developed my organizational skills and knowing how to grind in a world where opportunities are not just there for individuals who look like myself. And when I came to America, I think that I had a solid foundation in which to run on. So it really catapulted me into you know starting my own business and just getting it off the ground. But going back to Jamaica, where it's way more casual, you understand? No one turns up to meetings on time, you know. Um, just the amount of red tape, you know. I've been to the bank over a year and get thousands of dollars within five minutes on a cashier's check. I go to Jamaica and uh I want to open a bank account, and man, I think they wanted to know if my blood type. Yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_04Why do you why do you think though the Caribbean is always like why? It's like you feel like it's still 1985 because I experienced that as well when I wanted to open up an account in the Bahamas, and it's just it doesn't make sense to me because it doesn't have to be that hard.
SPEAKER_00I I want to say that a lot, I in my own opinion, like a lot of individuals have not regularized themselves as it relates to to be known. So as it relates to getting a proper national ID to have the proper documentation in place, no one really wants to disclose their income. There's like a lot of hush-hush to avoid taxes and you know not knowing who is who or who really owns something. So when you go to the bank, the bank has to really take the time out to know who you are and that you are a solid member of society per se. And I'm sorry, you don't have a credit reporting system, so there's no formal, no, well, there is a credit reporting system, forgive me. However, it is not like you have an experience where you can log in and see what's happening and all that, right? Yeah, so and Jamaica and other Caribbean countries have to prove to you know the World Bank, you know, per se that they are compliant and that the people who are doing business with them are genuine people and not trying to land the money, and then there's a lot of scamming and all that, so that influences um how there's scamming in Jamaica.
SPEAKER_04I thought only scamming was in um Africa somewhere.
SPEAKER_02What is there? Hey, I have a friend knocking outside your head.
SPEAKER_04I thought the hubs was only in certain uh African countries. No, no, no, Jamaica full of scammer, Jamaica full of scammer.
SPEAKER_01I think it's the world the world full of scammers.
SPEAKER_00Yes, there's a lot of scammer, there's scammers everywhere.
SPEAKER_04But why they just don't get a job or open a business? Like, why they scamming?
SPEAKER_02Pardon me?
SPEAKER_04Why they scamming?
SPEAKER_02Because some people don't want to take it the easy way, they want to do everything hard.
SPEAKER_04That's not an easy way, that's like being a drug dealer. Either you're gonna die or go to jail, or you gotta always look over your shoulder.
SPEAKER_02You misunderstood what I said. I say some people do not want to do it the easy way, they want to do it the hard way. See, they think scamming is the easy way, but eventually, as you get older in life, you'll find out that that's actually the hard way. You'll be like, Why am I doing all this? Because I might as well just did it straight. I can go to sleep at night, I don't have to look over my head, I don't want to look at the left, look at the wife, I can sleep peacefully. So it's actually the hard way, if you think about it.
SPEAKER_04But you know what? I've realized even um this year. If you've noticed, I don't know if you guys have noticed in America, there's been a lot of you know, blue collar, not blue collar, that's white collar, right? Like, there's a lot of Medicaid fraud. Like, I'm talking about big, big business people been doing millions of dollars of fraud. You going into a doctor's office having to shut it down because they're doing fraud. Like everybody's doing fraud. Stop living above your means, correct?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some NFL personnel, all kinds of people, some people you wouldn't think would be doing fraud or doing fraud.
SPEAKER_04Remember the and no, but remember the in those like NBA players or NFL players that had like some scamming? They were like betting on games so they would perform bad six in. Yes, crazy, crazy. So, um is do you believe in love after love?
SPEAKER_00I do.
SPEAKER_04Do you believe in love after love?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, man, I do. I tried to give you something, Sherry.
SPEAKER_04What about you, Brooks?
SPEAKER_02Oh, of course I do. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04You love everything walking.
SPEAKER_00Oh they said that one of my uncles, you know, if it's just a room, if it's just a muck in a dress, it'd go for it.
SPEAKER_02Um, do you believe that um what I want to ask you? What are you working on now? What are some of the things that you're working on? Like, what what do you see for yourself in the future? Now that you've been to England, you've been to America, now you're back home in Jamaica, you've had a relationship, you walked away, you're looking for love, you found love. Like, what what what what what do you see Kamani five, 10 years from now? How how do you see Kamani? Um, at 45, man, I I I want to be taking it easy.
SPEAKER_00I'm putting in the grind now, so that at 45 um to 50, I'll be traveling the world, you know. Um, hopefully, we'll have a lovely queen by my side. You understand what I'm saying? To be exploring the world with and just to be financially free and have some financial freedom.
SPEAKER_04What is that to you? What is financial freedom to you? What is it?
SPEAKER_00To me is to have my money working for me, you understand, and to be able to get some passive income from investments, um, from the different businesses that I'm putting in the grind to know I want to see where my businesses are able to operate without me having to be there full time. I know what you mean, brother. I know what you mean.
SPEAKER_02What about you, Kathy? What does what does what does success mean? You see, what does that look like for you?
SPEAKER_04Well, you don't know, you should know. I saw these conversations. I want, I want, and let me talk that talk because I don't mind talking that talk. I want my ties to be a hundred thousand dollars a month. So that means I'm yielding liquid a million dollars a month. Um I'm working towards it, I'm planting a lot of seeds. I know systems, as well as I think that there's a lot of um a lot of money to be made in digital products. So, like my brother told me, the game is to be sold, not told. So they Basically, I have, and it's so crazy, like spirit led, I have businesses in me daily, and I think about um, I just find a problem and create a solution. There's so many problems out there. When you think about it, how was Amazon created? He thought about a problem, he created a solution. You know, now he's one of the richest men in life. Um, what about Elon Musk? He found thought about a problem and created a solution. Now he has he has the best internet with the solar, you know. So for me, I'm more though um, you know, I always can take it to God. So I do a lot of things like daily affirmations. Um, I have a reggae trivia game coming up that has been um what is what did I get? I don't even know. They had all these big my mind is go blank sometimes. What do I have to get before I put it on Dan Ton? Because I don't want nobody to steal it. Yeah, trademark.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_04I have my first trademark, clock that. Um, and then so what else I have going on? I'm coming out of a digital, a digital cookbook. So I already travel the world.
SPEAKER_02How was that process though? You mentioned something like getting something trademarked, like it sounds so out there-ish. Like, how how was how was that process? I'm not telling you to to to to walk us through every step, but just like was it so difficult or was it just easy? Like, how was that process?
SPEAKER_04I paid someone. So here's the thing what one of my mentors has told me that you can't do everything, like for the longest time. I used to be cleaning my house, and I had to, you know, explain to Fred, like, hey, I'm worth more an hour. I just can't be cleaning toilets, four of them, right? No, I can't. So we have a cleaner that comes in. So I hired someone because I I'm physically tied daily doing a lot of things. So things that you know that I feel like somebody else can handle, I'll just pay for it. So what we did is we hired an attorney, and um, they told us that it would take about a year, didn't end up taking a year, it was like eight months because you know it's something that's very unique, and if you don't protect it, someone can come in and steal it.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, yeah. I wish I learned that earlier in the case.
SPEAKER_00Oh, you want to know another secret? Surround yourself with good attorneys. Yes, oh yes, you understand what I'm saying? You have different attorneys in different fields, and they're there for reasons, yes, right? Um, today I was talking to um my my commercial attorney, and it it was such a breathtaking um experience, you know, having her hear, you know, what things you need to do to protect your business going forward, not but just from you know, um, well, as it relates to you know, people you you associate with in business because you want to do new contracts, you want to formulate new um partnerships, right? And you have to protect yourself, you know, and get them no competes, man. Yeah, because but you know what, but you know what?
SPEAKER_04It's kind of like marriage, the person you marry is not the person that you divorce, and when you go into business, it doesn't always end in roses, right? You know, so you have to protect your financial interest because at the end of the day, everybody looking out for themselves.
SPEAKER_00You better look out for yourself, yeah, 100%. Do you guys believe in prenups? And sorry, prenups.
SPEAKER_04I didn't get one, but I believe in postnups.
SPEAKER_01Well, uh, prenup.
SPEAKER_04No, no, hold on, hold on. Post nup is a serious thing. So that basically means like, hey, we're already married, right? Yeah, but if I felt like I wanted to get a prenup now, I could. Oh it's called a postnup. Oh, it's called a postnup.
SPEAKER_02You know it's called a post numb, but you know, I can do that. Uh prenups legal in Jamaica, of course.
SPEAKER_00They're across the world.
SPEAKER_02What no? You can get one and you can use it to what you can take it to the judge and show this is our intent before we get married. Yes, it's not a it's not legally binding. Like the judge doesn't have to follow the sideline.
SPEAKER_04Well, you better go get married in Jamaica then.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's very interesting. Destination wedding. I'll host that.
SPEAKER_02I I wonder, I always say I wonder if all those tourists that come here to get married, do they know that they're like prenups are not interesting. What the hell? If they get a good lawyer when they get divorced, they'll lawyer before they got married, they should have better seen the lawyer to say, yay, so true.
SPEAKER_04You know what I do want to do though? I want to take a moment to um give you both your flowers because you know, like I said previously on the call before last year, I was really contemplating divorce, like I was in the divorce people chair, and you know, you were two of the men that held me accountable. Um, you were two of the men that I could have candid, you know, conversation with and say, hey, well, this is what I'm dealing with. And you didn't knock my spouse down, you didn't knock me down, but you also held me accountable in who I am because I'm not the average woman, you know, the average woman what, Brooks? I say that you know, the average woman, no, honestly, though, the average woman, I feel like the typical woman sits back and waits for a man to create something, and that's not who I am, that's not who God made me. You know, I can only be who I am, and I have to applaud my husband because I don't think the average man could haggle me. You know, it takes a lot, it takes a lot of um resilience, it takes a lot of understanding, it takes a lot of patience. Fred got the patience with Joe because I just want to slap myself, right? But I thank you both that you guys are intelligent enough that even though you both went through separation and divorce, you didn't want that from me. You know, you wanted first of all, of course, you guys love Fred, but you love me too. So you you want your sister to be protected, but you also basically told me, like, hey, are you sure? Because which what you going out there to get?
SPEAKER_02I thank you for that. Garbage juice, he's saying the Bahamas, garbage juice.
SPEAKER_04So let me ask you a question, come on. Let me get into let me get into this. Did you ever have like a toxic relationship, a toxic breakup, or everything was like you never cried? Okay, bye. See you uh see you next lifetime.
SPEAKER_00Um, I'll say that a relationship that I had some moons many moons ago, right? Um, it was a bit weird that separation, you know. Um, it's like you you separate, but then you go back, you separate, you go back, and uh, you see every reason why you should not be together, you know. But that's about pretty should have quiet, yeah. You know, like getting knocks on the door. I know where you live. Can I come in? That was crazy. Well, that was many moons ago.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but you don't you don't want no toxic women?
SPEAKER_00No, no, no. I can't deal with that. I can't deal with that, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, express yourself, but don't miss toxic Kathy.
SPEAKER_02I think it's time to get into your mix up, and we're getting to almost to the end of the show. You want to take it away?
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay. So you mix you mix up, a is uh a segment of the show where we bring you know, a little drama, a little we we cook things up, we we have spicier conversation. So um, I can ask the first question are you okay with a threesome?
SPEAKER_00I think that's good. I think it's good to experience life. I think it's good to experience things in life, you know.
SPEAKER_04What about you, bro?
SPEAKER_02I uh I think it's a great experience to have one. Um, but I think um different people in different walks in life, you know, I'm not here to judge anybody and what they want to do or what they don't want to do. But if a couple are honest with each other and they are and everyone is honest and that's what they want, then I don't see anything wrong with it. Now I do see something wrong with it. If you are hiding it away from your spouse or lying about it with your spouse, any type of form of lying or betrayal or mistrust, then I think that's wrong. But if you're open and your spouse is down with it, then I mean, who am I to judge?
SPEAKER_04Okay, so suppose you and your spouse is down, right? So you and your spouse sleep with another woman, right? And then what about if that new woman now wants to have a separate relationship with you?
SPEAKER_02No, that's the boundaries of boundaries.
SPEAKER_04Also, I you can only sleep with them with your spouse, but not separate.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's about what said about being open and transparent, you understand what I'm saying? I and I do think that a lot of people, a lot of individuals in relationships, they don't talk sex, you know, they do the do, and there's no conversation. You know, how is it? You understand what I'm saying? What can be done to improve it? You understand? What do you actually like, right? I do think a lot of and a lot of individuals they can't take encouragement to make things better, you understand what I'm saying? They take it as an insult, right? So um, if you can have open conversations as it relates to sex, then you know, I think that sex can be really great, right? And if you want to explore, you make plans for your exploration, and you have to set those boundaries because then if you should breach that and say go top somebody else without the knowledge of your partner, hey, that's good.
SPEAKER_02I want to touch on something that Kamani said, which is really well. I think a lot of men lack in, and that's when women held hold men accountable for sex. And when women say, Hey, you're not doing this, or I'm not here, men automatically take it as an insult or take it as a don't receive it, but it takes you know, you should be happy that a woman actually comes to you. A woman who doesn't care about you would never say that. So if a woman comes to you, you should really approach it and learn. I mean, it's a woman, it's women who taught me how to have sex, and how to have sex, yeah, yeah. It was up, it was women.
SPEAKER_01Let go of it women.
SPEAKER_04So, um, another question. Honestly, I mentioned it previously, but in the Caribbean, it's very common for men to date multiple women, you know. It's common, it's very common. And I can only speak for what I know in the Bahamas, everybody gets sweet out. Everybody, and it's like women don't want you unless they know you're married, because it you don't really have, they don't have to have that full-time commitment because you gotta go home to your wife. What I would hope you would go home to your wife. I know some husbands that don't go home to their wife. Um, but how do you why do you feel as if so many decades now is still so common?
SPEAKER_00Um, it's it's social learning again. You understand what I'm saying? A lot of people just think that it's okay, you know. Um, it's in the culture, it's in the songs, you know, that you're seeing man if you have enough girl, girl, and a bungalow. You understand what I'm saying? Um, however, it takes a real man to identify when he has found himself a queen and a church her and would not want to, you know, cause any form of harm that you might bring home for any reason, any form of toxicity. Right? Um, so it is just for us to realize that we have to break the cycle and let's just do what we have to do um in raising the next generation to let them not think that that is should be the norm growing up.
SPEAKER_02And and and I think we are both both sexes are partly to blame. Um, men are dishonest when it comes to women. I think that we live in an age of sexual liberation where a man today can be honest with a woman and say, Hey, I need more than one woman, or basically polygamous. Like, I need to be, and there are gonna that there are gonna be a lot of women that are not gonna accept it, but there are gonna be women that do accept it, and then on the other end of that spectrum, I think women today have become very materialistic and they are looking for sweethearts. The reason they are looking for sweethearts because you're my sweetheart, you're not my man. So if somebody asks me if I got a man, then no, I don't have a man, so and then I can sweetheart you too, and then if somebody else asks me if I got a man, I'm a yeah, I really don't have a man, so I I'm open to anybody that comes because I don't have a man, so but I can be getting three, four checks a week.
SPEAKER_04But I I mean I understand that's the vast majority, but not all women are um materialistic. I could say that the men, the men, most men these days are the new females, and they're they're very emotional, they're looking for you know, especially back home, like these these men looking for a woman to take care of them.
SPEAKER_00But it's it's it's it's crazy though that um a lot of women that if a man is honest with them to say, you know what, I've got my woman, or as you said that you know, they know that a man is in a relationship, they strive to get that person, yeah. And then the more money that they perceive you make, the more they're willing to comply, yeah, and and willing to put up with a lot of shit.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. I mean, I I've never been that woman, you know. I I I mean, I could be honest, I've dated a married man before. You know, I would never do it again.
SPEAKER_00But as you said, that you're not the average woman, you know what I'm saying? So you are not.
SPEAKER_04I mean for me, for to for me, especially like women, and it's I'm just speaking from what I know. There are many strong women that got it together, making their bread and whatever, but for the vast majority, women settle for so little, they settle for so little and they look for a mind to solve their problems. They want a mind to bring them happiness, they want a mind to buy them a house, the car, and you could do these things yourself, you know.
SPEAKER_02So you're failing to realize the real issue there. What's the real issue? The issue is that if I do it myself, it takes work.
SPEAKER_04Well, I'm guess never scared of work. I was raised by a soldier.
SPEAKER_02They don't want the hard way out. This is why we got crooks and scammers because they want the easy way out, at least they think it's the easy way, but most people don't want to work. You know, you give most people five hundred dollars a weekend and and a house on the roof or two hundred dollars a week, whatever food, shelter, some TV, and AC, they're good. Oh, seriously.
SPEAKER_04That's crazy. I don't know. I I definitely ain't that woman. I can eat I can eat more than a chicken in a bag and a conk snark.
SPEAKER_02So and and wrapping up right now, come on, if you were to leave us with some words about your experiences through life. What what's the one thing that you like to share with the audience that you've learned in this life that you've lived so far?
SPEAKER_00Enjoy life. It's as simple as that. Just enjoy life, right? Live and as you create your own legacy, enjoy life and you make a mark, not because you are just trying to be known as somebody who has money, but make an impact on the life of others, right? Remember charity, remember your sides, right? And just be great and stop and smell the roses and enjoy life.
SPEAKER_02Thank you, Kamani. Thank you, Kati. And this has been another episode of Kong Salad. You mix up, eh?
SPEAKER_04You must be mixed up. Bye. See you next week.
SPEAKER_00Bye bye, bye bye.