Because We're "Too Much"

Because We’re Too Much — Episode 1

Welcome to the very first episode of Go Find Less—GFL for short! 🎙️

In this episode, I’m taking you back to where it all started.

I’m sharing my story—from starting my career as a hairstylist, to the moment I realized it was time to leave the first long-term workplace I had built so much of my career around. I’ll talk about taking the leap, developing my own studio, and the lessons I’ve learned along the way about trusting yourself, betting on yourself, and knowing when it’s time to outgrow something that no longer fits.

I’ll also give you a glimpse into where GFL is headed and what you can expect from this podcast—including conversations with some seriously badass powerhouse women who are building businesses, raising families, chasing big dreams, and refusing to make themselves smaller to fit someone else’s idea of who they should be.

Because this podcast was created for women who have ever been told they’re too much.

Too ambitious.
Too driven.
Too loud.
Too passionate.
Too much to handle.

Well… you’re not too much. They can go find less.

This is just the beginning. 💕
Welcome to Go Find Less.

Transcript

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Carmen 0:00

Welcome to GFL.

Speaker 0:02 Speaker 0:02

I'm Carmen, a hairstylist turned multi-business owner, entrepreneur, mentor, and girl mom. This is where we talk about building your dream career, becoming the best version of yourself, and figuring out how to do it all without losing yourself in the process. I want you to dream big and remember if someone says that you're too much, they can go find less.

Carmen 0:26

What's up, you guys? Welcome to the first episode of GFL or Go Find Less. My name is Carmen. You guys have probably known me for a while as a hairstylist, but the last two years or so, I have actually owned my own business as an independent hairstylist behind the chair. And just this year, we've had a ton of change. So I opened up my own independent business in my small hometown of Fisher, Illinois, where it is a studio that we are completely remodeling. It has been a lot of work, but what it has done is open up the potential to a lot more opportunities like podcasting. Also, this year we opened up our first actual salon. My partner Janie and I are the owners of an independent salon in Mahomet, Illinois, and we're so excited to be able to provide an amazing salon to work at for hairstylists that are independent without being micromanaging or controlling them too much.

Carmen 1:19

So that is what we have been up to for the last couple of years. But I'm so excited to start this podcast with you just to give you a little background knowledge on what GFL is for. We've all heard the saying, if I'm too much, then you can go find less. And really that comes home for me because as women, we always are told we're too much, right? We're too ambitious, we're too emotional, too outspoken, too driven, too busy, too successful, you're too much of a mom, or you work too much. And too much doesn't necessarily mean that there's something wrong with you, but maybe it's just your environment. So instead of you being less, they can go find less because you deserve to be the exact person that you were meant to be. So before we get to where we are going in this career field of mine, I want to talk about how I ended up in the current one that I am in. So when I was in school as a kid, right? I was the kid that talked too much. I didn't get the best grades. And obviously, as an adult, it turns out that I have ADHD, which most of us do that have talking issues in school. But I chose the beauty field because it was something that seemed a lot less intimidating than going to college for four years. So I want to say it was around my freshman year and high school. I was in my English class that was ran by our drama director. And I was like braiding my hair or something in the class one day. And she was like, Oh, well, you should start doing hair and makeup for the musicals, because she ran that as well. So I was like, wow, that sounds fun. Like, sure. I started doing that. And I remember one time someone said to me, They were like, Oh, is this what you're gonna do when you graduate high school? Is go to like beauty school and do hair makeup. And that was the first time I didn't feel overwhelmed by a career choice. Whereas before it was like, Oh, I guess I'll go to college, I guess I'll figure out a degree and decide on what I do then. But that was one that it was like, oh, well, that sounds way more fun than going to college. So what I ended up doing was that I started researching beauty schools, and at the time, the beauty school that was in my town actually offered scholarships. So I applied for a scholarship competition and they were giving out like four five thousand dollar scholarships. Well, I was super crushed because I didn't end up getting one, and I was like, wow, maybe this is a sign, maybe I shouldn't do this. But they ended up doing them every six months, so I did end up trying again, and the second time they run the contest, they do four five thousand dollar scholarships and one full ride. So it was a talent-based um competition that I did a look for, and then I just had to write a short little essay. And when I tell you, I cried tears of joy when I one day just got the call that I was selected as the full ride scholarship winner. And so my beauty school was completely paid for. And at the time it just seemed like, wow, this was exactly what it was meant to be. You know, my petition didn't work out because there wasn't a full ride. This is the full ride one. I just saved $20,000. My school's completely paid for, and I'm so excited to do this. So I had actually graduated high school a year early so that way I could go to beauty school sooner, right? Because I was like, well, I'm not going to college. What do I need the quote unquote extra credits for? So I decided, you know what, I'm gonna start beauty school. As soon as I turned 17, I started beauty school. I was one of the youngest people at the school. There was only one other 17-year-old. Everyone else was in their mid-20s, somewhere in their 30s. And I I felt so out of place. And, you know, you question why did I choose this? What am I doing? Um, I think I was just so immature because you know, 17, right? Like, think about where you were at 17. Most people are not starting their career that young. Most people don't graduate high school until 18, some even 19. And I was launched into my career so young and I would not change anything. I absolutely love the way my career started. But when I tell you I cried a lot, like it was a lot. Um, and I was good, right? I cared a lot. All I would do is like braid on my mannequin when I went home. And I feel like not everyone appreciates that, especially when you're in a talent-based field. So I struggled a lot with imposter syndrome of why am I doing this? I'm not actually good enough to be here. All these people hate me. You know, it's the story that we tell ourselves of nobody likes me in this room. Why am I here? But I went home so many days, mental breakdowns, cried about everything. And my dad had even said to me one time, he was like, Well, why don't you just quit? And then at that point, I had to make the decision of why would I walk away from this opportunity that was given to me. You know, I had my entire schooling paid for, like, it would be crazy to quit. So I stuck it out. Um, all throughout beauty school, I was applying to work at salons, of course, as we all do, because if you can get in as an assistant, you can really be successful anywhere. So I was applying to like the few big, big salons that we had in town at the time. That's something that has changed a ton in the beauty industry. There used to only be a couple places to work at. Now there's like a hundred salons everywhere, and they're just a lot smaller.

Carmen 6:08

So I applied to so many and I got turned away for a lot. Um, one had called me back and, you know, said, Oh, yeah, come in for an interview. And then they would never let me schedule it. So again, right, you deal with that. Oh my gosh, what am I doing? Like, if I can't even get a job now as like an assistant on minimum wage to just sweep hair, how am I gonna get a job in the real world? Right. Like no one cared about what my quote unquote portfolio looked like. Um, no one cared that I had like 100% attendance, 100% grades. It just didn't matter. And so one day there was a different salon owner that came into the salon looking for an assistant and I applied and I ended up getting into that salon before the doors had even opened. So there wasn't even mirrors on the wall, I remember. But again, it felt like that step of, okay, this is meant to be. I'm gonna take this opportunity because like this is this is the one, right? So that was a salon that I had worked at for uh eight years, and I went from being the one being trained and mentored to being able to train and mentor people. I was able to help create education that helped to mentor stylists into high-performing stylists at a very intense level that most people do not get to have right out of school. So I became a manager at 19. Um, I was doing all of this training stuff. I absolutely loved it. And for the like first time, I would say, like, wow, this is like, I feel like I'm making an impact. I love this, right? Everyone talks about doing hair as, oh, you get to make people feel good. Like people love coming to the salon. And I do, I love that aspect so much. But I really found that educating, mentoring, and helping other people grow to the next level of themselves was what really fueled my soul, not just doing hair, right? Like I almost view hair as my hobby because I love it. It brings me joy. I feel like I'm good at it. Um, I get to converse with people and talk to so many people on different walks of life and hear their stories. They're most of them are like my friends now, and I would never let that go. But I feel like my true passion was always with mentoring. So through this salon, I was able to just continue to do that. And like I said, eight years was there. And at a certain point, you have to start thinking about am I doing this career for someone else or am I doing it for me? And so at the time, things just kind of started to not feel super aligned. So I decided that it was time for me to take a step back and work on myself.

Carmen 8:23

So I started looking at opportunities as an independent hairstylist. There's these things called salon suites where you go in and you're the only person in this room and you have basically like a mini salon in there. So um I looked at a couple of those. I ended up going with a salon that was an independent booth styling salon, which just means it's a team of people, but you're all in your own business, basically. So you get to work alongside people, but you're not necessarily working with them, if that makes sense. Versus before I came from a commission salon and it was very team-based. It was very much like everyone is working together for this ultimate goal. Whereas independent, you get to focus a little bit more on your own goals while having the support of a caring team still. So through that, it was really nice because I basically removed all levels of dopamine, right? Like I wasn't training anyone anymore. I didn't get to mentor anyone anymore. And I I had more time for me, but at the same time, I felt more empty. You know, I started to question myself again, right? Of like, why am I in this career? What am I doing? And so I started looking into like, okay, how can I start mentoring again?

Carmen 9:25

So I started creating an education program that will soon be released. So you guys get that little teaser. And I started looking into opportunities that I could expand my passions elsewhere. So I was at the time looking for an independent space so that I could record podcasts, record education, and you know, just dropping my kids off at daycare. I saw a building for sale and I was like, oh, it says for sale or for rent. Like, how perfect would that be if I had an office space literally down the road from my house? I live in a small town, so the rent is probably way cheaper. And um, I ended up meeting with them, and the price that they were selling it for made sense to just buy it, even though like 60% of it was a hot mess. But you know, you have to be brave and take that chance on something. And so I ended up, you know, talking to my husband and being like, I know this is crazy, but hear me out, this can really work. He had the faith in me like he always has, and I truly could not have done this without him. He has always been the most supportive person and partner that I could ever ask for. And I'm beyond grateful that I have him in my life because honestly, without a supportive partner, you really can't chase your dreams and do what you want in your business life because obviously there's always people at home that you need to pour into as well. And it's not always easy being with someone who is in the business realm and building businesses because it does take a lot of that time. So I love him, but shout out to Dylan. So now that I have the studio space, like I said, I'm able to record podcasts, I can teach education, and I also host monthly girls' night out events where it's a great community. You can meet new people, you can bring people that you love, and it really just gives you time to be able to pour into yourself because as women, right, we're always giving to other sources, and we truly need to take time for ourselves where you can be as much as you want, you can focus on you, you can be with your girls and really have a good time because we all deserve that. And that is something that I am super grateful to have the opportunity to be able to expand my brand and have a facility that is meant towards fulfilling people's dreams. So I'm really looking forward to that, along with pouring into my daughters themselves as well. With being a girl mom, it's super important to me that my daughters can look up to someone who is a mother, is a wife, but still has her own dreams fulfilled. Because of course, I want them to grow up to be whatever they want to be and to always follow their dreams, even when it is scary. So I am very grateful that with my own business, I can plan my own hours, I can set my own schedule so then that way I can pour into my family and decide what days I'm gonna take off. If I need to pick them up from school every day, I can. If I take off work for vacations to spend more time with them, I can. So I'm very excited to be able to do that in the next coming year to really plan my career around my family instead of it being the other way around. It's so easy as entrepreneurs to go for the easy option, right? I know I'm good at work. I know I love being at work. And for me, work comes pretty easy because I built it around something that I genuinely love. However, right, when you go home, it's a lot harder to be excited to do laundry every day and cook dinner because God knows that that is the worst thing is having to figure out what you're gonna eat every single night for the rest of your life. So I'm really grateful to be able to spend time with so many women because honestly, we're all out here living the same life. We're all tired of work, of working, and then coming home, making dinner, doing laundry, waking up and doing it all over again. Having that community where we can all talk about that is truly phenomenal. Whether it's behind the chair or if it is at an event, it's nice to know that we're not really in it alone as women. It just feels like we're in it alone. So that is something that I'm very excited to pour into over the next, you know, span of the studio is to be able to have those times for the community events and to help women fully feel fulfilled. Within my future episodes of the podcast, I do plan on having a lot of powerhouse women who are mothers, owning their own business, doing the same thing we all want to aspire to be or are doing. And I cannot wait to share my list with you guys. If there's anyone that you can see coming onto the podcast, having an interview style with me, definitely send me a message on Instagram, created by Carmen H. And I would love to have your recommendations on the podcast. Or if you yourself feel like it would relate well to you, you're a business owner, you're a mom, I would love to have you on. So please reach out to me. And thanks for listening to the first episode, guys. This has been a dream of mine for almost my whole life is to be able to talk to people. Obviously, I love talking, and just to be able to kind of put those feelings out there that we all have and create a safe space because I think it is so important. If you are looking for more ways to pour into your own cup, the salon that Janie and I own is called House of Hair Beauty Lounge. We're located in Mahama, Illinois. We do specialize in the retreat style of your hair appointment. So it should feel like a retreat from the chaos of the regular world. You will be very taken care of. And if you're interested in our spa services, our spa is Benjamin and Co. Esthetik. She is the most amazing esthetician and she has trained these girls to be top notch. Okay. You will leave feeling like a brand new person. You can always do a blowout after your facial and you will not regret it, I promise you. If you are looking for girls night out events, all of that information is on my created by Carmen H Instagram and also on the Illuminate Studios Instagram as well. These are typically monthly to twice a month, and we really focus on it being a really good time of women while you also get to create and leave with an actual item that you will actually use in your day-to-day life. We are so excited to be able to host these community events, and we really do love it when you bring your friends, your mom, your sisters, of course, and to be able to spread that illuminate community matters so much. So thank you guys so much for listening to the first episode. This will release on my birthday, and I'm so excited to make this year 28 the best year yet. Thank you guys so much for listening to this podcast. Your support means the most. If you have time to leave a review so that way other people can find this podcast and learn how to stop playing small in their life, I would so appreciate that. Until next time.