WEBVTT

00:00:01.600 --> 00:00:03.680
<v SPEAKER_00>August 1976.

00:00:04.080 --> 00:00:08.080
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton John has just played Madison Square Garden.

00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:13.199
<v SPEAKER_00>There were costumes, a crowd, a room full of people who knew every word.

00:00:13.679 --> 00:00:18.160
<v SPEAKER_00>Then he went back to a hotel suite in New York and sat down with a reporter.

00:00:18.559 --> 00:00:20.719
<v SPEAKER_00>The reporter noticed something strange.

00:00:20.960 --> 00:00:26.800
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton could hold thousands of people from a stage, but on this sofa, he barely moved.

00:00:27.039 --> 00:00:29.280
<v SPEAKER_00>He looked away when he spoke.

00:00:29.679 --> 00:00:34.000
<v SPEAKER_00>Little handmade pictures of him, gifts from fans, sat around the room.

00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:41.520
<v SPEAKER_00>There were tiny Elton Johns everywhere, and the real one was wondering if anybody actually knew him.

00:00:41.920 --> 00:00:45.520
<v SPEAKER_00>He told the reporter he wanted someone in his life.

00:00:45.759 --> 00:00:48.159
<v SPEAKER_00>He said he got depressed easily.

00:00:48.719 --> 00:00:51.359
<v SPEAKER_00>He wasn't even sure he knew who he was.

00:00:52.079 --> 00:00:55.200
<v SPEAKER_00>Then the conversation turned to whom he might love.

00:00:55.920 --> 00:01:00.880
<v SPEAKER_00>The reporter asked him a direct question, and Elton answered it.

00:01:01.359 --> 00:01:06.640
<v SPEAKER_00>And readers would learn that the man in the feathers and enormous glasses was bisexual.

00:01:07.599 --> 00:01:16.640
<v SPEAKER_00>I know, in hindsight, we look at a man who could dress like a sequined peacock at a piano and think, was him being bi really breaking news?

00:01:17.120 --> 00:01:20.480
<v SPEAKER_00>But it was 1976, and it was news.

00:01:20.640 --> 00:01:24.879
<v SPEAKER_00>And he would spend years finding out what saying it had changed.

00:01:35.280 --> 00:01:39.760
<v SPEAKER_00>I'm Stan Stadig, and this is The Secret Is Out.

00:01:45.680 --> 00:01:51.920
<v SPEAKER_00>Fifty years after that interview, Elton John is one of the world's most recognizable gay men.

00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:58.079
<v SPEAKER_00>But his story did not move in a straight line from a brave disclosure to a happy life.

00:01:58.319 --> 00:02:03.519
<v SPEAKER_00>He told the truth in public while there were still things he could barely face in private.

00:02:03.920 --> 00:02:07.359
<v SPEAKER_00>He could fill an arena and go home lonely.

00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:10.560
<v SPEAKER_00>That's the story I want to tell.

00:02:10.879 --> 00:02:14.879
<v SPEAKER_00>I came to know Elton's music later than that New York interview.

00:02:15.120 --> 00:02:22.159
<v SPEAKER_00>The first songs of his that really stopped me were I'm Still Standing and I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues.

00:02:22.560 --> 00:02:26.479
<v SPEAKER_00>Both came from his 1983 album, Too Low for Zero.

00:02:27.120 --> 00:02:29.599
<v SPEAKER_00>I remember that voice more than anything.

00:02:29.919 --> 00:02:36.719
<v SPEAKER_00>Strong, full, like it had no interest in competing for your attention because it had already won.

00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:40.800
<v SPEAKER_00>I'm Still Standing had a kind of strut to it.

00:02:41.039 --> 00:02:45.840
<v SPEAKER_00>The other song had ache, and not a small polite ache.

00:02:46.080 --> 00:02:49.439
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton could make a feeling fill the whole room.

00:02:50.240 --> 00:03:07.599
<v SPEAKER_00>We didn't have MTV in my house, but I could remember watching a video show on Saturday mornings on our old-fashioned tube TV in the living room and watching him pound away on a giant white grand piano wearing sunglasses and a brimmed hat you might see on a guy in a barbershop quartet.

00:03:07.919 --> 00:03:13.520
<v SPEAKER_00>At 10 or 11, I thought he was unique and he wrote really catchy songs.

00:03:13.759 --> 00:03:18.960
<v SPEAKER_00>I wasn't sitting there at 11 years old studying the history of gay men and rock music.

00:03:19.199 --> 00:03:22.240
<v SPEAKER_00>I was a kid and I liked the voice.

00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:30.479
<v SPEAKER_00>Oddly, one of my more vivid memories of Elton from that time isn't a performance, it's a jeans commercial.

00:03:30.960 --> 00:03:40.000
<v SPEAKER_00>Women posing seductively in their tight Sasson jeans, Elton sad songs playing, and then he sings, Sasson says so much.

00:03:40.560 --> 00:03:44.639
<v SPEAKER_00>That ad seemed to run during every show I watched for quite a while.

00:03:44.960 --> 00:03:51.439
<v SPEAKER_00>Sasson was desperate for me to put him on as the jingle substituted a rhyme for the real lyrics.

00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:54.639
<v SPEAKER_00>Forty years later, Elton's still standing.

00:03:54.879 --> 00:03:58.319
<v SPEAKER_00>Sasson jeans apparently not so much.

00:03:59.360 --> 00:04:02.000
<v SPEAKER_00>That is one of the odd things about famous people.

00:04:02.240 --> 00:04:06.960
<v SPEAKER_00>They could be a part of your life long before you know anything about theirs.

00:04:07.439 --> 00:04:20.240
<v SPEAKER_00>And what I didn't know was that the voice I heard as so commanding belonged to a man who had described himself years earlier as frightened of walking into a room where he didn't know anyone.

00:04:21.040 --> 00:04:25.360
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton later told David Frost that performing had been easy to love.

00:04:25.920 --> 00:04:29.839
<v SPEAKER_00>Meeting people face to face was another matter.

00:04:30.480 --> 00:04:35.920
<v SPEAKER_00>As is often the case, I think, the showman and the scared man were both real.

00:04:37.519 --> 00:04:48.800
<v SPEAKER_00>He was born Reginald Dwight, a shy boy from Penner outside London, who could sit at a piano and find a melody almost before someone finished handing him the words.

00:04:49.040 --> 00:04:57.680
<v SPEAKER_00>The stage name Elton John came later, along with the funky glasses, the clothes, and the permission to be bigger than life.

00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:04.480
<v SPEAKER_00>In 1967, he was paired with Bernie Toppin, a lyricist with a head full of rhymes.

00:05:04.800 --> 00:05:07.920
<v SPEAKER_00>Bernie wrote the words and Elton put music to them.

00:05:08.319 --> 00:05:15.120
<v SPEAKER_00>Often they worked separately, which is a fairly astonishing way to build one of the greatest partnerships in pop music.

00:05:15.360 --> 00:05:20.639
<v SPEAKER_00>I can barely decide what restaurant to eat at with another person standing in the same room.

00:05:21.120 --> 00:05:25.759
<v SPEAKER_00>They made the now classics Your Song and then Rocket Man.

00:05:26.319 --> 00:05:31.279
<v SPEAKER_00>And then the hits came faster than a listener could get tired of the ones before.

00:05:31.600 --> 00:05:36.800
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton's 1970 American debut at the Troupadour in Los Angeles set things moving.

00:05:37.040 --> 00:05:43.759
<v SPEAKER_00>Within a few years, he was playing enormous rooms, and he had figured out how to look enormous in them.

00:05:44.240 --> 00:05:46.720
<v SPEAKER_00>The clothes were theatrical.

00:05:46.959 --> 00:05:49.680
<v SPEAKER_00>The performances could be outrageous.

00:05:57.519 --> 00:06:03.839
<v SPEAKER_00>Someone could see a man in platform shoes and assume he must be completely at ease with himself.

00:06:04.079 --> 00:06:06.000
<v SPEAKER_00>We do that all the time.

00:06:06.319 --> 00:06:11.199
<v SPEAKER_00>We mistake the version a person presents us for who they are at their core.

00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:21.839
<v SPEAKER_00>I and most people who came out later in life can relate to the experience of feeling like you had to mask who you really are with a bolder, more confident facade.

00:06:22.399 --> 00:06:26.879
<v SPEAKER_00>By August 1976, Belton was at a turning point.

00:06:27.120 --> 00:06:32.879
<v SPEAKER_00>He had just finished a major tour and was thinking about stepping away from the road for a while.

00:06:33.120 --> 00:06:36.560
<v SPEAKER_00>That was when Cliff Jarr of Rolling Stone got the interview.

00:06:36.720 --> 00:06:41.600
<v SPEAKER_00>It was held at the Sherry Netherland Hotel after the Madison Square Garden show.

00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:45.839
<v SPEAKER_00>Jarr wrote about the difference between the performer and the man on the sofa.

00:06:46.079 --> 00:06:49.279
<v SPEAKER_00>The performer had thrown himself across pianos.

00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:52.720
<v SPEAKER_00>The man in the hotel suite hardly stirred.

00:06:53.040 --> 00:06:57.360
<v SPEAKER_00>Then Elton talked about the one thing the crowds could not give him.

00:06:57.759 --> 00:06:59.680
<v SPEAKER_00>He wanted affection.

00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:02.079
<v SPEAKER_00>He wanted to settle down.

00:07:02.480 --> 00:07:05.120
<v SPEAKER_00>He was trying to figure out with whom.

00:07:05.439 --> 00:07:12.959
<v SPEAKER_00>And there, in the middle of an interview about music and exhaustion and love, Jar asked whether he was bisexual.

00:07:13.279 --> 00:07:14.560
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton said yes.

00:07:14.800 --> 00:07:18.319
<v SPEAKER_00>He spoke casually about attraction to someone of his own sex.

00:07:18.720 --> 00:07:23.120
<v SPEAKER_00>He did not issue a solemn statement with the communications team standing behind him.

00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:25.600
<v SPEAKER_00>He answered the question in front of him.

00:07:25.839 --> 00:07:29.439
<v SPEAKER_00>The issue came out on October 7th, 1976.

00:07:29.759 --> 00:07:41.600
<v SPEAKER_00>So, with this episode being released on October 6th, 2026, tomorrow, October 7th, will be exactly 50 years since Elton shared his truth.

00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:48.480
<v SPEAKER_00>I'm sure if he were sitting here with us now, he'd be nostalgically lamenting how time flies.

00:07:49.199 --> 00:07:55.519
<v SPEAKER_00>At the time, Elton called himself bisexual, and then years later, he publicly called himself gay.

00:07:56.399 --> 00:08:05.920
<v SPEAKER_00>Even though he described himself one way and then the other later, it is not a claim that bisexuality is a temporary stop on the way to being gay.

00:08:06.160 --> 00:08:06.959
<v SPEAKER_00>It isn't.

00:08:07.199 --> 00:08:16.240
<v SPEAKER_00>However, I had the same progression as Elton, first telling my wife I was bisexual, which took all the bravery I could muster.

00:08:16.639 --> 00:08:20.000
<v SPEAKER_00>It wasn't a lie, at least not intentionally.

00:08:20.399 --> 00:08:25.920
<v SPEAKER_00>Being raised how I was, I think it was truly all my brain could handle at the time.

00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:31.600
<v SPEAKER_00>It took much longer to process and actually accept that I was only attracted to men.

00:08:31.920 --> 00:08:36.799
<v SPEAKER_00>There is something else in that interview that I want to point out besides the answer to the question about sex.

00:08:37.440 --> 00:08:40.080
<v SPEAKER_00>It was the loneliness before it.

00:08:40.720 --> 00:08:54.799
<v SPEAKER_00>He had the elaborate costumes, he had the songs, he had an audience large enough to fill arenas, but he was asking whether someone might come home with him and know the person who lived there when the glasses came off.

00:08:55.120 --> 00:09:04.159
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton later said he didn't regret speaking to Rolling Stone, but he also thought it had a chilling effect on his career in America.

00:09:04.559 --> 00:09:11.440
<v SPEAKER_00>In his memory, people may have suspected his sexuality, but many of them did not want him to say it out loud.

00:09:11.759 --> 00:09:13.919
<v SPEAKER_00>Looking at the history, I can see it.

00:09:14.159 --> 00:09:25.600
<v SPEAKER_00>He had been everywhere in the early 70s and then somewhat faded into the background for about seven years before that legendary 1983 album when I became aware of him.

00:09:25.919 --> 00:09:29.519
<v SPEAKER_00>That distinction will sound familiar to plenty of gay people.

00:09:29.840 --> 00:09:35.360
<v SPEAKER_00>Someone may be perfectly content to just think they know and leaving it as a whispered rumor.

00:09:35.519 --> 00:09:37.039
<v SPEAKER_00>That's all well and good.

00:09:37.360 --> 00:09:41.039
<v SPEAKER_00>Then you tell them, and suddenly they need a minute.

00:09:41.279 --> 00:09:42.240
<v SPEAKER_00>How many minutes?

00:09:42.399 --> 00:09:43.919
<v SPEAKER_00>It depends on the person.

00:09:44.480 --> 00:09:46.480
<v SPEAKER_00>Some are still taking one.

00:09:47.039 --> 00:09:51.360
<v SPEAKER_00>It is difficult to measure exactly what that interview did to record sales.

00:09:51.600 --> 00:09:58.240
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton was already exhausted, and a career that had risen at almost impossible speed was changing.

00:09:58.559 --> 00:09:59.840
<v SPEAKER_00>He did not disappear.

00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:04.320
<v SPEAKER_00>The records kept coming, but he understood the public response as a cost.

00:10:04.720 --> 00:10:10.240
<v SPEAKER_00>And I think his account deserves to be heard without turning it into a neat chart statistic.

00:10:11.120 --> 00:10:16.559
<v SPEAKER_00>The years afterward were neither a victory lap nor a simple retreat into the closet.

00:10:16.799 --> 00:10:25.120
<v SPEAKER_00>There were more records, more performances, drinking and drugs, anger, relationships, and long periods of unhappiness.

00:10:25.679 --> 00:10:31.759
<v SPEAKER_00>In 1984, he married, and forgive me, I am going to butcher this pronunciation.

00:10:32.159 --> 00:10:35.360
<v SPEAKER_00>Renat Blauell, a sound engineer.

00:10:35.600 --> 00:10:37.519
<v SPEAKER_00>They divorced in 1988.

00:10:37.679 --> 00:10:44.480
<v SPEAKER_00>That marriage involved another human being whose private experience does not belong to an easy explanation for me.

00:10:44.799 --> 00:10:49.120
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton and Renat later agreed publicly to respect her privacy.

00:10:49.360 --> 00:10:58.639
<v SPEAKER_00>So I won't turn their four years into a tidy metaphor, but what I can say is that a disclosure in a magazine did not settle his life for him.

00:10:59.120 --> 00:11:03.600
<v SPEAKER_00>I understand that more now than I would have when I first heard those songs.

00:11:03.840 --> 00:11:09.679
<v SPEAKER_00>I came out late in life after spending decades building a life that looked different from the one I live today.

00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:12.399
<v SPEAKER_00>Saying the words was enormous.

00:11:12.639 --> 00:11:19.600
<v SPEAKER_00>It also did not hand me a map for every conversation, every relationship, or every morning afterward.

00:11:19.919 --> 00:11:25.679
<v SPEAKER_00>For me, it took a long time to really even talk about things through my separation and divorce.

00:11:25.919 --> 00:11:30.559
<v SPEAKER_00>I had to almost shut down the conversation because I couldn't take one more.

00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:32.559
<v SPEAKER_00>You're making a big mistake.

00:11:32.799 --> 00:11:35.679
<v SPEAKER_00>Or are you sure this is the right thing to do?

00:11:35.840 --> 00:11:38.960
<v SPEAKER_00>Or you're turning from God's way and choosing man.

00:11:39.919 --> 00:11:47.919
<v SPEAKER_00>After living in anguish for decades, amassed in secret, the truth was free, but it came at a very heavy cost.

00:11:48.799 --> 00:11:56.559
<v SPEAKER_00>For Elton, the answer was not hiding somewhere at the bottom of a champagne glass or in the next shopping bag, or the next performance.

00:11:57.440 --> 00:12:05.200
<v SPEAKER_00>He later described drugs and alcohol as things that first seemed to help him connect and finally made him more isolated.

00:12:06.159 --> 00:12:11.039
<v SPEAKER_00>There is a point in a story like this where a writer can make recovery sound inevitable.

00:12:11.360 --> 00:12:12.320
<v SPEAKER_00>It wasn't.

00:12:12.559 --> 00:12:15.360
<v SPEAKER_00>Not for him and not for the people who loved him.

00:12:15.600 --> 00:12:24.000
<v SPEAKER_00>During the AIDS crisis, Elton became close to Ryan White, a teenager from Indiana who had contracted HIV through contaminated blood.

00:12:24.639 --> 00:12:31.120
<v SPEAKER_00>Ryan and his family faced extraordinary cruelty from people frightened of a virus they did not understand.

00:12:32.080 --> 00:12:35.440
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton first heard about Ryan through a television interview.

00:12:35.679 --> 00:12:40.240
<v SPEAKER_00>Ryan had been asked whom he was looking forward to meeting at an AIDS event.

00:12:40.480 --> 00:12:42.080
<v SPEAKER_00>He said Elton John.

00:12:42.879 --> 00:12:45.200
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton saw it and called the family.

00:12:45.600 --> 00:12:49.679
<v SPEAKER_00>Imagine that call arriving in the middle of everything they were facing.

00:12:50.240 --> 00:12:52.240
<v SPEAKER_00>I was a kid during those years.

00:12:52.480 --> 00:12:55.600
<v SPEAKER_00>AIDS wasn't an abstract headline in my world.

00:12:55.759 --> 00:13:04.159
<v SPEAKER_00>It came wrapped in fear, judgment, and the awful sense that some people believed a diagnosis said something about what a life was worth.

00:13:04.559 --> 00:13:09.919
<v SPEAKER_00>My own parents talked about how it was God's judgment on a sinful lifestyle.

00:13:10.639 --> 00:13:15.679
<v SPEAKER_00>Ryan had done nothing to earn the disease or the treatment he received from his neighbors.

00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:18.639
<v SPEAKER_00>Neither had the gay men who were dying.

00:13:18.879 --> 00:13:20.559
<v SPEAKER_00>I want to say that plainly.

00:13:37.360 --> 00:13:41.120
<v SPEAKER_00>Ryan's reason for wanting to meet him stays with me.

00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:46.240
<v SPEAKER_00>His mother said, Ryan admired though Elton was willing to be different.

00:13:46.639 --> 00:13:48.720
<v SPEAKER_00>Think about the exchange in that.

00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:56.320
<v SPEAKER_00>A boy the world was treating as untouchable looked up to a man who had once taken a risk by speaking about whom he might love.

00:13:56.720 --> 00:14:03.360
<v SPEAKER_00>And that man saw the courage of a boy who kept showing up and telling people the truth about his illness.

00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:09.440
<v SPEAKER_00>Sadly, Ryan died in 1990 at only 18.

00:14:10.240 --> 00:14:12.240
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton was at the hospital.

00:14:12.799 --> 00:14:19.200
<v SPEAKER_00>The Elton John AIDS traces its beginnings in part to that friendship and to his death.

00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:25.120
<v SPEAKER_00>Ryan mattered so much to Elton that he helped him examine himself closer.

00:14:25.919 --> 00:14:30.799
<v SPEAKER_00>He is said that after Ryan's funeral, he saw how far his own life had slipped.

00:14:31.039 --> 00:14:33.519
<v SPEAKER_00>In 1990, Elton got sober.

00:14:33.759 --> 00:14:37.440
<v SPEAKER_00>Two years later, he founded the Elton John AIDS Foundation.

00:14:38.639 --> 00:14:44.159
<v SPEAKER_00>He began directing money and attention toward people whom much of the world would rather not look at.

00:14:44.639 --> 00:14:48.240
<v SPEAKER_00>And this is where the story reaches a place near my own home.

00:14:48.559 --> 00:14:53.840
<v SPEAKER_00>The foundation says it began around Elton's kitchen table in Atlanta in 1992.

00:14:54.399 --> 00:14:59.360
<v SPEAKER_00>Till I began researching for this episode, I had no idea Elton even had a home here.

00:14:59.600 --> 00:15:04.000
<v SPEAKER_00>In fact, he lived just around the corner from my old church in Buckhead.

00:15:04.879 --> 00:15:08.960
<v SPEAKER_00>It's cool to think about how ideas can have such humble beginnings.

00:15:09.279 --> 00:15:20.320
<v SPEAKER_00>An idea discussed around a modest kitchen table became an organization that helped throngs of strangers survive long enough to be known by the next generation of people who would love them.

00:15:21.360 --> 00:15:27.919
<v SPEAKER_00>No amount of work for others erases what he went through or excuses anything he did while he was hurting.

00:15:28.159 --> 00:15:30.960
<v SPEAKER_00>But it changed where his energy went.

00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:38.559
<v SPEAKER_00>That same year, in another Rolling Stone interview, Elton described himself as comfortable being gay.

00:15:38.799 --> 00:15:42.559
<v SPEAKER_00>It was a different answer from the one he'd given in 1976.

00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:45.919
<v SPEAKER_00>It belonged to a different point in his life.

00:15:46.799 --> 00:15:53.039
<v SPEAKER_00>People sometimes want one coming out date, as if the rest of a person's life should fit after a colon.

00:15:53.840 --> 00:16:03.360
<v SPEAKER_00>For Elton, there was the first disclosure, the private work that followed, the words he chose later, and then the ordinary daily act of living as himself.

00:16:05.120 --> 00:16:08.320
<v SPEAKER_00>In the early 1990s, Elton met David Furnish.

00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:14.080
<v SPEAKER_00>Years later, a New Yorker profile showed a quieter sort of partnership beneath the celebrity.

00:16:14.320 --> 00:16:18.559
<v SPEAKER_00>David could see Elton's moods, challenge him, and laugh with him.

00:16:18.879 --> 00:16:21.120
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton could still be difficult.

00:16:21.360 --> 00:16:25.840
<v SPEAKER_00>He could also come home to somebody who knew that and stayed in the conversation.

00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:32.000
<v SPEAKER_00>They entered a civil partnership in 2005 and then married in 2014.

00:16:32.639 --> 00:16:36.159
<v SPEAKER_00>They have two sons, Zachary and Elijah.

00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:42.399
<v SPEAKER_00>Finally, the man in the hotel suite in 1976 found what he was looking for.

00:16:42.960 --> 00:16:45.759
<v SPEAKER_00>He said he wanted someone in his life.

00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:48.399
<v SPEAKER_00>He wondered if he might have children.

00:16:49.039 --> 00:16:51.919
<v SPEAKER_00>He couldn't see the shape of that future then.

00:16:52.960 --> 00:16:59.519
<v SPEAKER_00>To be clear, David and the boys aren't the only option for a happy ending at the end of a suffering story.

00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:05.039
<v SPEAKER_00>People do not have to marry or become parents to come out and live a fulfilling life.

00:17:05.359 --> 00:17:08.880
<v SPEAKER_00>But this was a future Elton himself had wanted.

00:17:09.200 --> 00:17:13.599
<v SPEAKER_00>It took time to find it, and it is lovely that he did.

00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:20.240
<v SPEAKER_00>There is one more Elton moment I have carried with me for almost 30 years.

00:17:20.880 --> 00:17:24.720
<v SPEAKER_00>In 1997, Princess Diana died in Paris.

00:17:25.279 --> 00:17:27.839
<v SPEAKER_00>I remember the shock of it.

00:17:28.079 --> 00:17:33.359
<v SPEAKER_00>The whole world seemed sucker punched and felt like we lost our breath.

00:17:34.079 --> 00:17:37.920
<v SPEAKER_00>I remember I was working as a worship leader for an evangelist at the time.

00:17:38.079 --> 00:17:43.759
<v SPEAKER_00>We were on a nationwide church tour, but had parked our RV at a campground for a few days of R.

00:17:45.200 --> 00:17:52.960
<v SPEAKER_00>When the news came on the TV and I saw the images of the horrific vehicle wreckage, it left me speechless.

00:17:53.839 --> 00:18:01.440
<v SPEAKER_00>Why did this have to happen to such a wonderful young woman who dedicated her life to doing so much good in the world?

00:18:01.759 --> 00:18:03.759
<v SPEAKER_00>It made me so, so sad.

00:18:05.039 --> 00:18:07.920
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton and Diana had been good friends.

00:18:08.240 --> 00:18:13.119
<v SPEAKER_00>Only weeks before, she had comforted him at the funeral of another friend, Gianni Versace.

00:18:14.079 --> 00:18:17.119
<v SPEAKER_00>Then suddenly she was gone too.

00:18:17.839 --> 00:18:20.880
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton was asked to sing at her funeral.

00:18:21.359 --> 00:18:27.680
<v SPEAKER_00>Bernie Toppin rewrote their song Candle in the Wind, which was originally written about Marilyn Monroe.

00:18:28.480 --> 00:18:31.440
<v SPEAKER_00>I heard the new version and it touched me.

00:18:31.920 --> 00:18:36.079
<v SPEAKER_00>There was something about his voice that let the grief into the room.

00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:42.880
<v SPEAKER_00>We were all looking at the same terrible loss, and for a few minutes somebody gave us a way to sit with it.

00:18:43.759 --> 00:18:46.799
<v SPEAKER_00>He played at the funeral in Westminster Abbey.

00:18:47.119 --> 00:18:54.640
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton and Bernie's version went on to be a single and was heard around the world with proceeds going to raise money for Diana's memorial fund.

00:18:55.759 --> 00:18:58.799
<v SPEAKER_00>Truly, the song helped us grieve.

00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:07.039
<v SPEAKER_00>I have only vague memories of watching the funeral and mourning along with the rest of the world while I watched from that little RV.

00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:11.039
<v SPEAKER_00>Elton sharing his song is really the strongest image.

00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:14.880
<v SPEAKER_00>I suppose that is the power of music and shared loss.

00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:23.039
<v SPEAKER_00>And now, as I reflect on Elton, it goes much deeper than the 11-year-old who heard and danced to I'm Still Standing.

00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:26.400
<v SPEAKER_00>I hear something else in that captivating voice.

00:19:27.359 --> 00:19:38.640
<v SPEAKER_00>Here is a man of enormous talent, but wholly human, who made mistakes and experienced damage, recovery, love, grief, and is still standing.

00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:43.200
<v SPEAKER_00>That song was released years before he got sober.

00:19:43.759 --> 00:19:46.720
<v SPEAKER_00>It wasn't written as a report from the end of his journey.

00:19:47.039 --> 00:19:48.960
<v SPEAKER_00>I think that makes it more interesting.

00:19:49.200 --> 00:19:54.480
<v SPEAKER_00>He sang about standing while he still had plenty of falling and getting up ahead of him.

00:19:55.519 --> 00:19:57.759
<v SPEAKER_00>Happily, Elton is still with us.

00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:01.759
<v SPEAKER_00>He is still making music and speaking about the people who need care.

00:20:02.319 --> 00:20:07.279
<v SPEAKER_00>His foundation continues its work against HIV and the stigma around it.

00:20:07.920 --> 00:20:12.400
<v SPEAKER_00>I wonder what that young man and that hotel would make of the life ahead of him.

00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:15.200
<v SPEAKER_00>I suspect he'd have questions.

00:20:15.839 --> 00:20:22.480
<v SPEAKER_00>He might be relieved to hear about David and the boys, but he also might dread how much getting there would hurt.

00:20:23.279 --> 00:20:26.240
<v SPEAKER_00>Nobody gets an answer to that in advance.

00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:32.640
<v SPEAKER_00>I didn't get one when I first decided to come out trying to picture what the truth would do to my life.

00:20:32.880 --> 00:20:40.400
<v SPEAKER_00>And I certainly didn't as a boy listening to a voice on the radio that proclaimed how he could stand through almost anything.

00:20:40.799 --> 00:20:46.480
<v SPEAKER_00>When Elton spoke to Rolling Stone, he wasn't handing the world a finished version of himself.

00:20:46.720 --> 00:20:49.839
<v SPEAKER_00>He was a lonely man, answering a question.

00:20:50.079 --> 00:20:55.279
<v SPEAKER_00>It was a beginning with more uncertainty than a headline in a magazine can hold.

00:20:55.759 --> 00:20:58.960
<v SPEAKER_00>That feels closer to how it happens for many of us.

00:20:59.359 --> 00:21:03.119
<v SPEAKER_00>You tell someone what you know today and you keep living.

00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:10.319
<v SPEAKER_00>Sometimes you learn how to say it more clearly, and sometimes you finally let another person see you after the room empties.

00:21:11.359 --> 00:21:15.920
<v SPEAKER_00>And 50 years later, I can still hear that powerful voice.

00:21:16.400 --> 00:21:18.960
<v SPEAKER_00>I'm so grateful for the songs.

00:21:19.200 --> 00:21:25.039
<v SPEAKER_00>I'm especially grateful for the progress his story, his music, and his work has helped to make possible.

00:21:26.079 --> 00:21:33.680
<v SPEAKER_00>I'm also moved that the man who once wondered whether anyone knew the real him kept trying to make a life where someone could.

00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:40.640
<v SPEAKER_00>And now, The Secret Is Out.

00:21:41.599 --> 00:21:48.720
<v SPEAKER_00>If you enjoyed this story, please follow The Secret Is Out and share it with someone who might know Elton's songs better than his story.

00:21:49.039 --> 00:21:58.160
<v SPEAKER_00>Perhaps if this little podcast grows, the stories might find someone for whom it makes a real difference and help them keep standing in authenticity and truth.

00:21:59.200 --> 00:22:07.279
<v SPEAKER_00>And as the outro music, as I have in a previous episode, I included a link in the show notes to one of Elton's signature songs.

00:22:07.519 --> 00:22:10.799
<v SPEAKER_00>Please go and click the Spotify link and listen.

00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:18.319
<v SPEAKER_00>I chose the song Your Song, mainly because of one line that I would like to reflect back to Elton.

00:22:19.599 --> 00:22:23.359
<v SPEAKER_00>How wonderful life is while you're in the world.

00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:33.279
<v SPEAKER_00>And we certainly have had a better world with him being in it.

00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:35.200
<v SPEAKER_00>Thank you, Elton.

00:22:36.400 --> 00:22:38.480
<v SPEAKER_00>And listeners, thank you.

00:22:39.519 --> 00:22:40.960
<v SPEAKER_00>And I'll see you next week.
