The First Shift

In Episode 2 of Second Alarm, I go back to where it all started.

From thinking I might join the military after high school, to joining a volunteer fire department and eventually deciding to make the fire service my career, I talk about the road that led me to my very first shift as a career firefighter.

I still remember walking into the station after graduating the academy—nervous, overwhelmed, excited, and having no idea what the next 15 years would bring. I was the rookie, trying to learn the station, understand what was expected of me, fit in with a new crew, and prove that I belonged.

Looking back now as a lieutenant, that first shift means something completely different.

In this episode, I talk about those early days, what it was like being the new guy, and some of the things I wish I could go back and tell that rookie firefighter walking into the station for the first time.

Everybody in the fire service has a first shift.

This was mine.

Second Alarm — Life, Work, and What Comes After the Firehouse.

Transcript

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Every firefighter answers the first alarm. But eventually, we all have to figure out what comes after. This is Second Alarm. I'm your host, Josh. I remember pulling up for my first shift after finishing the academy. I was nervous as hell. Had no idea what the day was even going to bring. I definitely didn't know what the next 15 years of my life were going to look like. When I walked in, I got to meet the acting battalion chief and the lieutenant of that station. They showed me to my room, uh, walked me around the station, kind of show me where the equipment was, what was expected of me. And then at that point, I was the rookie. So if we go back just a little farther. Back in high school, I was always thinking I would go and move up, go up to the military. Kind of what I thought I was gonna do. Right when I graduated high school, I was kind of in and out of what I wanted to do. Was it military? Was it some other type of service? And I went into uh EMS school, get my EMT basic, and then after that I ended up joining uh my local volunteer departments. But during EMS school, uh I started dating someone who would later in life be my wife, and she uh volunteered with me as well. So not only was I in that volunteer uh service uh with that local fire department, um I honestly didn't even have to do it alone. Uh during that volunteer time, it's kind of when I was able to initially uh experience firefighting. Um, nothing structural, of course, you know, just around my area, everything volunteer, all the volunteer departments were all uh wildland fire. But even then, uh it was my first time dealing with any type of wildland equipment, the apparatus, the structural apparatus, and just the equipment. You know, like first time ever putting on an SCBA, wondering, like, what the hell is this? That this is a different feeling. I've never had this before. And during that time, I had met a bunch of the guys that were at my career department already through my brother, who was uh had already been on the department for some years. So he kind of influenced me to to go and try out instead of just running off and and doing something else. Um I didn't make it on uh the first time I tried out, had to try out a few more times after that, but I finally made it. Um during the academy when uh when we got into that, it's I honestly can't remember what I had expected is from what I can remember from what I can think of, you know, my expectations were it's it's not gonna be the easiest thing in the world. And uh kind of went in with an open mind. When I finally got in there and first day of that, that was uh kind of an eye-opener, you know. Never had to experience anything like that in my life. I was barely 20 years old, just turned 20 years old, fresh out of high school. Uh the job I had before that was selling car parts for my local Riley Auto Parts. Um, I had to had to learn how to push myself through it. It was a lot of PT in the mornings, a lot of uh book work, a lot of PowerPoints, you know, just death by PowerPoint, some hands-on, and then it was immediately a state test to get our uh certifications. During some of those classes, it seems like the the guys that we had who were on shift teaching us, it seems like they they got off on just punishing us. They walk in there with, you know, I'm not gonna instruct, I'm just gonna pretend that I'm gonna instruct or that I'm gonna teach these guys, but actually I'm gonna go in there and force them to do everything at Essency PT-wise that that person themselves not able to do. You know, we had a we had a guy who wanted us to do to do push-ups and burpees until we were absolutely exhausted where we couldn't move, and then they expect us to go back in and and have enough energy to sit there and learn for the rest of the day. And all this stemmed off of a guy's uh uh pant leg being up above his boot. And you know, I can understand some of that to a point, but but when does that stop? When does that when do we change that to where when we go into the academy, we're not only trying to teach guys that they have to uh push themselves, but they have to but we have to learn how when to stop so that way we can still teach these guys of what it takes to be a fireman. And then that's probably something I can get into later. But when I finally graduated the academy, uh, you know, it's a smaller department, so we didn't have a big graduation, it's just something small. Family showed up. We got assigned to what station I'd be at, what shift. And then when I walked in, you know, kind of already mentioned it, I got to meet the BC, the lieutenant. They kind of walked me around, told me what was going on and what they wanted me to do. Um, one of the biggest things they, you know, they told me is I gotta clean up after everyone. So that was kind of an eye-opener for me. I'm like grown man cleaning up after other grown man. That's kind of weird, but you know, it was okay, it wasn't too bad. Station of nine guys. Um, everyone has to do their part. You know, I'm I'm the rookie, so I gotta prove that I that I need to be there, that uh that I've earned the right to be there, you know. So I did what was expected of me, um, got everything done. And that's kind of when I had the taste, first taste of uh of shitty leadership, honestly. Um one of the lieutenants there just he had that that uh what do they call it, uh little man syndrome. He was the he was a small guy. He he would tell everyone, you know, he was that he was better than you. He he didn't have to do any of this stuff, he didn't have to clean the toilets, he didn't have to do his own dishes. Um he wouldn't help with anything around the station. And that that's kind of where I got into my first taste of, you know, I just I don't want to be like this guy. I this is not who I want to be. And since then, since just my rookie year that I had to spend with him, I've never gotten along with him. And and luckily for me, just a few years after that, he he retired. Um, you know, some of the expectations they gave him me was not only just cleaning up after everyone in the station, you know, I'm gonna keep the bathroom clean, towels. You know, I remember that smell, walked into the station. It smelled like uh uh like diesel exhaust and and laundry, laundry detergent. It's kind of a different, different smell in that station, but it's one I'll always remember. Um, some of the first calls I ran, you know, nerve nervous as as you can be. Um I had my first structure fire in my first shift. Uh nothing crazy. You know, dryer vent caught on fire, caught the inside of the wall. And and also on that shift, too. You know, I wasn't the uh I wasn't the only rookie. I had a couple other rookies that were, of course, senior to me. They already already been on the job six months on the truck, but still considered a rookie. So it was nice to kind of have someone to to follow for a little bit. So the day kind of went. We did uh they they kind of walked me through the the truck checks because we didn't do a lot of that in our academy um back then. And I say back then, but wasn't that long ago, but things is a lot of things have changed. Walk me through, I'd do a truck check, how to check the equipment, you know, the rescue saws, chainsaws, um, clean all of our extrication equipment. We need to run it, make sure, make sure everything's working. Um the driver of one of the trucks showed me how uh they go through and check the pump, how they run it. Um when I got there that morning, so our shift change would happen at 7.30. And I left my house about six and uh got to the station at 6.30. Well, you know, being courteous, wanted to be early, early as I could be. On my way to the station, I was just a lot of thoughts going through my head of you know, how how is today gonna go? What is uh like what calls am I gonna have? And I and I already went into this already being an EMT. So I I kind of had a little bit of experience with medical, but uh nothing really firewise, especially going a career department in a city. Uh when I pulled up to the station, something that I I always remember seeing is kind of just the way the station looked. You know, we had the bay, some of the bay doors were open, the truck sitting in there. I was like, you know, that's kind of a badass. That looks pretty cool. And then that was our that was our old bay. Now that bay's been torn down and and rebuilt, but it was a small station. But it was still it was just still something cool, you know. Lucky, I I get to be on one of those trucks. Um, the first conversation I had with that battalion chief when I went in is he kind of told me, he kind of gave me a list of expectations. You know, this this is how we run our shift. We have we have four guys on the truck uh at that year, at that time we ran two guys on the engine, and we had a private ambulance company that uh was state that was put in our station with us. He kind of talked me through on what I would be on, and I got put on the on the engine just for the fact that I was uh an intermediate, an EMT intermediate, so I was the only one there that was licensed at high in EMS for that time being. Um so I got uh got a lot of calls on that truck for my first few years. Again, being the only intermediate, and we ran shoot, I don't even know how many medical calls a day. It was that truck, I think my first my first couple shifts, we ran 20 to 30 calls every day. Um but continuing on with that conversation I had with the BC, you know, it kind of lined everything out for me for the day. What we do at what time, what time PT was for the cruise. And then uh right after the conversation was done with that battalion chief, the lieutenant pulled me out and he kind of told me something. And again, this is this is a guy I didn't like later in life, but still don't like to this day that much. There's one thing he did say that kind of stuck with me. He's like, that's the last time you should ever have a conversation with a battalion chief. You know, I kind of kind of thought about that, didn't know how to take that because uh the chain of command is something I've never dealt with. But but if I'm having as a rookie fireman, if I'm having to sit in the battalion chief's office and get a lecture, it means I did something wrong. Um something I did, uh something I just didn't do right. But that that's why I didn't want to be back in that office, and luckily I never was. Um but the lieutenant walked me through the station again, uh uh introduced me to everyone, uh, showed me where the bunker rooms were so I could put where I needed to put my gear at the end of shift, and then uh show me, you know, show me the kitchen was, where everything was in the kitchen, as funny as that is, because the rookie's got to cook, you know. We gotta cook for the crew, we gotta we gotta prove that we that we want to be there. So being a rookie, you know, what does that mean exactly? What is a rookie? A rookie could be, you know, it's if we use me, for example, the other guys were new there, we haven't earned our spot with those crews. So yeah, we finished the academy. Um, but that's just a basic knowledge of what of what we need to actually be on the truck. Once we actually get on the truck, you know, we need to prove ourselves. We need to keep equipment organized, we need to learn that apparatus, keep everything in it clean, make sure we handle the station chores, learn, especially like an important thing to me is we need to learn how that crew operates. Um, if we don't learn how that crew operates, how are we going to implement ourselves into that crew? We keep our mouths shut, ears open. We need to learn. That's what that's what we're there for. We need to learn what these crews do, again, how they operate, um, what things change once we're out of the academy and on the trucks. And then we need to be ready for whatever comes next, whether it be uh a trauma, a traumatic call, structure fire, you know, we have wrecks, extrications, anything like that. We need to we need to be prepared and ready. Being the rookie, you know, it gives you a feeling of being nervous because you know you don't want to be the rookie that screws up. You don't want to get someone hurt, you don't want to look like an idiot. But on that same time, is that you get overwhelmed. But at the same time of getting overwhelmed, you also have have a lot of excitement because look at what you get to do. You get to be on this on this big truck with light sirens going to going to help someone on one of the worst days of their lives. And again, you know, you you're this whole time, everything going on, I'm afraid of screwing up. I don't want to be the one who screws up, I don't want to be the one who hurts someone. And then on top of some of that, we're trying to learn all the crews' personalities. Like, how do how do these guys work? Like, how do they think? And then again, we need to prove or try to prove why we belong. Why do we belong with them? So if you look at who I was then, you know, I was nervous, overwhelmed, I was afraid of screwing up, I was, you know, just an all-over nervous wreck. 20-year-old kid trying to figure it out. And then if I look at myself now, 15 years, 15 years later, I'm a lieutenant. I'm one of those lieutenants now. I'm a paramedic. Um, I have rookies that look to me for help or for coaching. And if you look at that full circle moment, you know, I was the rookie and now I'm one of the lieutenants that are teaching those rookies where I used to be, it's a pretty powerful first circle full circle moment, right? And it's funny to think about it now. I mean, that kid that I was walking into that station for the first time, I had no idea that one day I'd be the lieutenant responsible for helping all these next rookies figure it all out. And if and if I could sit down with myself back then, back on that first day, well, you know, what would I say? What would I tell myself? Maybe, you know, don't rush the don't rush your career. Um, something I look back on that I didn't do, that I probably should have taken more initiative to do was going after some certification classes. Um, because we used to offer them so much back then. Like monthly we would have some type of certification class. And I didn't want to do that because I was I was still a kid, I was still trying to learn, and and I didn't want to be the guy who just immediately starts taking all these classes. And but looking back, I probably should have done that because now the the state that my department is in now, we don't have those classes anymore. Anytime I want to take any of those classes or get certified in anything, I have to travel. And most of the time that comes out of my pocket. But going back, I talking to myself back if I was a rookie, um, I would tell myself, you know, you need to continue to learn from everybody. And even the guys you don't like. Again, the lieutenant I didn't like, I still learned from him, but I should have, I should have paid attention more to him. Um, I should take a better care of my family. Um, and at that time, all I had was a girlfriend who's now my wife, and we have two kids. But even listening to that today today, I need to make sure I'm taking care of my family. That's one of my top priorities. Um, and I'd again I'd tell myself, this this job isn't your entire identity. I thought that's what we had to do. We had to make this us. Like we had to live and breathe fire or to be to be a firefighter. That's what we had to do. Um, but I looking back, I probably shouldn't have made it as much my identity as I did. But again, if I didn't, would I still be the same person I am today? Um, the fire service changes. It it changes. And I tell him, you know, don't assume every promotion will happen when you think it should. Again, I've I've had five promotion attempts, I'll put it that way. And yeah, some of them I think I honestly think I deserved, but maybe that's not the right state of mind. This last one, you know, it's I did a lot of footwork for that promotion. I did uh I did a lot, I did more than anyone there. And I'm, you know, I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but just knowing the guys who put in for that spot, I did, I did a lot, I did a lot of work for this department to try to fix some issues and it and it was overlooked so that way a chief could hire one of his friends. And and I'll leave it at that. I was I was disappointed in the way it went, and I'm I'm still a little bitter about it, but you know, it is what it is. It's it's time to move on and continue, continue forward. Again, I would tell that rookie, you know, there's there's you're gonna run all these calls. There's gonna be good calls, you know, where you get to see some cool things happen, but then there's some really bad calls where you're gonna see you're gonna see shit that's that's never gonna go away. That's still gonna keep you up at night. The people around you will matter more than you realize. You know, people come and go so much, and and people die pretty quick. Um, time goes pretty fast. I tell them, you know, start thinking about life after the firehouse earlier than you think you need to. That's something I wish I would have done before instead of waiting for my last five years. If this is my last five years, and I might continue on for a couple more years. That's just something the future of me needs to look at. But if I would have thought about what I wanted to do sooner than I am now, maybe I could have had more time to work towards a better goal. So it's kind of going back. When I walked into that station on my first shift, I wasn't thinking about retirement that time. I wasn't thinking about a second career. I wasn't thinking about what came after the firehouse. I was just trying to survive my first day, right? You know, and everyone listening to this, just see you guys who who are deep into your career as I am, or even farther, 20, 25, 30 years, you all remember what that was like your first day. That's it's essentially survival. Um, yeah, you have all this training that you can rely on, but what we learn in the academy and what we see in the academy or in rookie school, whatever you want to call it, it's completely different what we see when we're on that truck in real life, and there's actually a real person looking at you wanting help. So 15 years later, I'm a lieutenant, and now I've been asking questions that kid probably couldn't even imagine. What's next? You know, again, going back to episode one, what I mentioned, it's a question we're gonna be asking all the time. What's next? Maybe that's why it's important to remember where you started. This is kind of what I wanted to go over this with in episode two of my first shift. You know, what would I tell myself? And I think that's important to remember where we started. Um if we remember that, we can uh I think it'll help us help the next generation of firemen that we have to teach. This is Second Alarm. Life work. What comes after the firehouse? See you guys in the next one.