She Regulates
A podcast for women who are tired of feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and disconnected from themselves. We talk nervous system regulation, holistic healing, nutrition, hormones, motherhood, mindset, spirituality, and what it really takes to be the best version of themselves. Hones conversations about creating a life - and a body - that feels like home.
She Regulates
Everything is Connected
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What if the tension, pain, tightness, exhaustion, and “stuck” feeling in your body aren’t just physical problems to fix?
What if your body is actually giving you information about what’s happening underneath the surface?
In this episode, we’re looking at the connection between your body, your nervous system, your energy, your thoughts, your environment, and the way you’re moving through your life. I share my own experience with a locked-up hip and how I started looking beyond stretching and strengthening to ask a different question: What was happening in my life when this showed up?
We talk about safety and security, carrying too much responsibility, constantly managing everyone else, the mental energy of having to notice and delegate everything, and what happens when you never give yourself space to receive.
We also explore how different areas of the body can give us clues about where we may be holding, constricting, over-controlling, or blocking energy—and how intentional movement, breath, self-soothing, awareness, and actually changing the way you support yourself can help create more space for that energy to move.
This isn’t about reliving every painful experience or endlessly analyzing your past. It’s about learning to listen.
Because your body is not separate from the rest of your life.
Your body is a map. The question is: are you willing to read it?
And this is just the beginning. Next week, we’re going deeper into the seven areas of the body, what each area represents, how those patterns can show up physically and energetically, and what you can do to start moving that energy again.
We harbor energies that are unprocessed in our bodies and we have different areas where we harbor those energies. For example, my hip has been locked. Like I can't do yoga poses that I you know I'm used to doing. I, you know, it's there's something going on in my hip. And I've been stretching it, I've been breathing, I've been trying to strengthen, I've been doing all the things. Those aren't working. I'm thinking, okay, so what kind of issues am I having in my life with safety and security? Because the hip area, anything to do with the hips, the sciatica, low back, might be energies that are stuck in that area that are now having physical manifestations. My hip area, that's safety and security, right? When I started having this hip pain, what kind of issues was going on in my life? Not feeling stable, not feeling rooted, not feeling supported in my life. I'll sit back and I'll journal, okay, what was going on when this pain started? When this pain showed up in my life, what was I feeling at that moment in my outside life? And I specifically look for feelings of insecurity, feelings of not being rooted. And I'm like, okay, hmm. I was switching businesses at that time. I was going from doing physical massage, you know, all of my clients, to now an online business where I'm helping women heal their nervous systems by being supportive of their body in ways that aren't conventional, somatic way, physically releasing the energy from the body. I'm not talking about go to your therapist and deep dive into what was going on, why did I feel this way? That's not what we're doing. We're just noticing what was going on at that point in time, and then we're becoming aware of it, not reliving the issue. Remind ourselves the ground is supporting me. I can feel my feet on the ground. Take a breath. My breath is supporting me. I can feel that my breath is keeping me alive. Frequency of the feeling of support, even though it doesn't have anything to do with my business. My switcheroo had issues with support. Well, now I'm feeling at my hip. So now I want to tell my hip, okay, I am supported, I do have security. And these are where I'm finding my support and my security. And I keep self-soothing and reminding myself about training your mind to see the areas of your life where you do feel supported, where you do have security. And so that kind of lets the hip let go. Oh, oh, I am supported. I can feel these feelings of support. The ground is holding me up. My breath is holding me up and alive and awake and functioning. And so my hip is able to let go. It wasn't letting go no matter how many stretches I did, no matter how many antagonist muscle activations I did, that was not letting go. But now that I'm self-soothing and showing myself proof of where I do have safety and security in my life because it's that area. So I know that's the issue that's going on here. Now I have proof. Now my hip can say, Oh, okay, I can let go now. I don't have to hold on for dear life because I'm not gonna, you know, fly off into the sky. I'm not gonna drown. I'm not, you know, I this is not life-threatening. And so then the hip can let go a little bit and you can have more progress in the physical things that you're doing: stretching, activating, strengthening. Now let's talk about how this may show up in your world. So, you know that tense feeling that you get when you sit down to open up your laptop, to look at your calendar, to see what's on the agenda for today. Your body is trying to tell you that she needs a feminine flow. She needs a system that helps her delegate. She needs to set herself up for success. This may show up in your root. All that responsibility, everyone's survival, depending on you. Being the one who holds it all together may show up as immobility in your hips. Um, the pain shooting down your leg with your sciatica that you can barely like step when it's activated. Oh my gosh, that hurts so bad. The hormonal issues and the autoimmune disease that's popping up, an aching in your low back, plantar fasciitis, or that anxiety every time the end of the month rolls around and you have the deadlines due. The support your body is looking for may look like delegating someone to take care of something on your plate. Not only to take care of it, but to notice that it needs to be done. Because even the mere act of noticing takes that I have to get it done energy. That is a lot of work to, you know, not only manage everything, handle everything, but also notice that it needs to be done. And like, same with like dinners and stuff. And that's why, you know, dinner is so hard because it's not just about, you know, eating it, cooking it, it's about what are we going to eat? What am I going to cook? What is healthy for me? What is not? What you know, there's all these decisions involved with what you're gonna eat every single day of your life. So this is when delegating somebody to notice, like whether it be your husband or your kids, or you know, hiring uh someone to come in and watch the babies for, you know, just a couple hours, a couple days a week, so that you can feel like you are getting you done, getting, you know, your business done, your cleaning done, anything that you need to be doing, you know, uninterrupted. Because let's face it, every time you tell your son to take the trash out, that takes energy to stop what you're doing, notice the trash. Like you may have a great idea for your business right now, and it's just flowing, and you're like, good, yes, this is going, this is coming in hot. And then boom, you walk past the trash and it's like overflowing, and you're like, oh my god, you know, that's his job to take out the trash. And now, you know, he doesn't even notice it. And so now I have to notice it, and then I have to tell him, hey, take out the trash, and then he has to stop what he's doing. Then I have to make sure he does it because oh my gosh, and then then I get frustrated because you know that thought has just now poof gone away. So that takes energy to do that. It it takes you, it takes energy to like be pulled out of your flow and then have to go right back into your flow, and then you have to like get to where you were going and get the momentum up, and that takes energy. So that is why delegating is so important. Make sure you know, okay, I need this from you. I need you to every time you walk in this room to look at the trash can. Every just make it a habit. Every time you walk by here, look at the trash can. That's your at your job, that's your responsibility. I don't want to have to, that makes the makes it my responsibility because I have to remind you. So just that kind of, you know, and with your kids, you can kind of train them better than your husband's, but um, but you know, the get the gist of what I mean. You know, you can go to them, have a family meeting. Hey family, you know, I have a lot on my plate. I need this from you. This is what I need from you to support me in doing my job to take care of all of you. And if I have your support taking care of these things that I'm asking you to take care of so I don't have to do it, then that means I have more time and energy to take care of you better. And the quality of my care becomes, you know, heightened. And it just, you know, it's the ripple effect. And so that gives them the incentive to want to, it's not just like you do this, you know, they have they want to do it because you know what, they want a happier mom that's gonna, you know, love on them more and do more, cater to them more, and you know, a happier husband wants a happier wife who's going to, you know, do things with love, even in your business, like delegating jobs so that things don't pile up and you come in and there's like a pile of stuff for you to do, and everybody else is just you know standing around, been there for days and and hasn't taken care of it because they don't know what to do with it. It's you know, you're the boss, so you know, help them support you by you supporting them. So I have a client who she had a beautiful idea, it was wonderful. Oh my gosh. So she has a binder and she's keeping it by the front desk of her business, and so it has all of the checklist of things that she, you know, needs to have done, and that way she doesn't have to, you know, always think about it, always, you know, delegate it. Hey, can you do this? Hey, can you do that? Hey, can you do this? Because that takes energy, it takes energy to notice and it takes energy to delegate. And so we are working on, you know, um delegating and easing your plate and you know letting people do things for you instead of just doing for them all the time. And this is part of the work that I do when I work nervous system recalibration. This is a whole module of it. Just, you know, you know, doing self-supporting things for your life, you know, getting your plate a little bit less full. And I'm not talking, you know, lose the the dream life that you have. I'm talking the little mundane things like that somebody else can take care of that, you know, doesn't need mom's approval, doesn't need bosses' approval, doesn't need wife's, you know. I'm not trying to throw shade on husbands out there. I just we all know that the wife does the most of the managing of the relationship. Like it's just we are the nurturers of the sexes. I mean, it's just how it is. But we need support in that nurturing. We need support because, you know, otherwise that support that we're giving out is not gonna be, you know, as good as it could be, as full as it could be, as intentional as it could be. So I tell my clients to make a pie chart, balance your life. You have these pie charts, and you know, you put in home, kids, work, um, working the business, building the business, you know, home care, and then you know, pleasure things like self-care, um, time for yoga, time for massages, time for, you know, whatever your self-care looks like, time for running. And and make sure that that's balanced. And so, you know, every week you're gonna make sure that you're doing the things that, you know, all of the things, not just, you know. Sometimes you'll find that 90% of your time is, you know, working on your business, or maybe, you know, cleaning up after everybody, or you know, something that doesn't need to be 90% of your time because that's why you're you look at your life and you're like, oh my gosh, you're so overwhelmed with everything that you have to do, and you feel like, oh, this is too much. I don't know how I got here. Well, let's delegate, let's, let's, let's get some things off here because this is a life that you're sharing with other people, right? And so other people can, you know, start holding the weight in in that, and that will be very supportive of that, you know, security, stability. And you know, you also have to look at taking inventory of how you're supporting yourself. You're so used to supporting everyone else. And I'm not only talking about what you're eating to sustain your life, you know, not eating fast food all the time, not eating junk food, not eating a whole bag of chips because you haven't eaten all day and you've been taking care of everyone, and you're so starving, you can't even think about making food and let alone cleaning up the kitchen after everything you've done. So you uh grab the bag of potato chips because you know they're not so bad. They're what potatoes and oil, right? But also, how are you feeling about food when you cook or when you eat? Like when you eat something that's not so good for you? Are you labeling it bad food and and then eating it? And so that your body is thinking, oh, I'm eating this bad food, it's gonna be bad for me, and then you know, and then it has something that it has brace against, it's something that it has to fight against. And you know, like, well, are you exercising to, you know, like release your stress? Well, when you exercise, not only do you, you know, release stress by exercising, but you're also building up energy. You're building up, I I don't know, you have you have energy in your body when you're working out. That's why you got your adrenaline pump and you're like you're producing that energy. So my question is, are you releasing that energy? How are you doing that? Okay, you stretch after every workout, but are you stretching intentionally? Are you just doing the process and just mindlessly just kind of zoning out? Or are you really breathing into your body and finding the tight spots and breathing into that and making more space so that you can release it? Are you taking inventory of what kind of stories you're telling yourself that is physically keeping you from what you want to accomplish? What kind of limited beliefs do you have going on? Like, what kind of stories are you telling yourself that is physically keeping you from doing what you want to accomplish? Like, I have this autoimmune disease. I the doctor says I have to take this metformin for the rest of my life because I have PCOS and my I'm sorry, what is it called now? P, I don't even know. I haven't been to the doctor for it for so long. But you know, the doctor says, Oh, you have to take metformin. You have to. You you can't not. You're just you're gonna keep having these symptoms and it's just gonna keep getting worse, and that's just all your options are. And I'm what 30 years old and I'm distraught, you know, like, oh my gosh, like this is going on, and you know, what what do this is what you're saying? I have to do with that about it. I don't even believe in medications, and now you want me to take it for the rest of my life, and that's just my only choice possible. Like, if I wasn't such a, I don't know what to say skeptical, but you know, if I wasn't such a, you know, I want to hear all sides of the story before I make my decision type of person, you know, like I would have just you know gone with what he said. Well, you know, that's the doctor, that's what he said. He's got all these degrees, and you know, in in Western medicine, doctors are like God. We just believe them no matter what. We don't research, we just, and I'm not not downing, I'm not shaming anybody who, you know, is following their doctor's advice or, you know, it whatever you have and you have a doctor for and you're taking medication, I'm not shaming you at all. I'm just saying that's not the only way. It's not the only route to take. It's not the only path. And it just, you know, it is one path. And so it just kind of that's a limiting belief, you know. That that is the only way is a limited belief. A limiting belief. There is other ways, and there are other paths to take to get you to the exact spot that you want to be in. And me, I'm you know, I choose the holistic route. And so, you know, I found another way. I paved it with blood, sweat, and tears. I paved it, but there was another way, and and it brought me to it brought me on a greater journey, and it brought me to a better place than if I were to just take the medication, take the metformin and just shut up about it and just keep eating the stuff, keep gaining the weight, keep having the hair growth on my face, on my chest, keep getting the cystic acne on my face and skin. I mean, so back to the hip story. It also may show up in your sacral area. If you're doing and leading energy starts crowding out your receptivity, your pleasure, your creativity, your sensuality, your emotional flow. This is where I would look next. I wouldn't be surprised to see like a painful menstrual cycle, digestive issues like bloat, constipation. Every time you eat something, you're not being able to digest it, you're not being able to develop the food you eat into energy that your body can use. Maybe painful sex, or you're uninterested in sex at all because you just don't have that drive. You just or like any type of connection in your relationships, like your business ones or your personal. I mean, this can even not be just blockages with things or things moving too slow. It can also mean like things moving too fast. Maybe, you know, you meet someone and your friendship has just like, you know, you don't really know this person, and just all of a sudden you they want to hang out all the time, and it's just really going a lot faster than you wanted it to go. So with these types of issues, you would be asking, where in my life am I receiving already? Where in my life do I need to be more open to receive? And the reason why is because you want to be receiving. You already are receiving in many, many, many ways. And I'm sure that you're just not focusing on it because you're focused on, you know, other things or you know, things that are catching your attention more. So that's when you kind of retreat from, you know, where your thoughts are and start to put your focus on things that you're already receiving. Because when you're focused, where your focus goes, energy flows. When your focus is on something that you're receiving, then you know you'll start to receive more. That's I don't know, it just works that way. It's just how it is. If you focus on something like the lack of receiving, then that more of that is gonna come to you. What about the last time that you did something, something simply because it was what you wanted to do? Not because it was productive, just because you wanted to do it. Also, do you even know what you want to do? Do you know what you desire? Or are you primarily responding to everyone else's needs? Where am I controlling an outcome instead of allowing something to unfold? You know, you're so used to managing everything, managing life in your personal life, managing your business, managing, you know, the people in your, you know, you know in your business. You're managing everything. And so you're always used to controlling everything because you're managing everything all the time. So is there any spaces that just need to unfold? Because when we constrict and constrict and constrict, that's not gonna flow. It's not going to let the energy in, it's not going to let the energy flow. So so when you just kind of let go, then it just unfolds. Like, so say you have a a balloon, a helium balloon, and you're just gripping onto the string and you're gripping, gripping, gripping. Well, you want it to float, you want it to float. Well, guess what? All you have to do is let go and it'll just float. So not only should you be asking these questions, but you need to physically release the energy. And you can do that by like hip circles, um, intuitive movement. You get out on the ground and you do like child's pose is a good one. You can kind of wiggle in your hips, you can stretch out your sides, you can really, you really want to kind of like unlock that pelvic area, unlock those hips and twisting to like not really, you know, twisting, twisting, like to where you're gonna hurt yourself, but just like gentle twists back and forth, back and forth in a rhythm, and that'll release the pelvis from the spinal cord and give more fluid flow, more energy flow going on. And do all this with intention. What does my body want to do? What does my body feel like when I'm doing this? Do I want to cry? So cry. So somatic releases, you might release emotion when you're releasing certain areas of your body. So my hips locked up. So I wouldn't be surprised if, you know, one day when it I'm working on it consistently, and then when it unlocks, you know, one day when it will unlock, I'm I wouldn't be surprised if I shed some tears. You know, some people, I'm a massage therapist. Some people get on my table and they just like baw their eyes out because you know, I I do myofascial release and I'll release the the energy from that fascia that was being held in the tissues. And they just, you know, lose it. And that is okay, and you're supposed to because that is something that you've been holding in that space forever, especially in the hip area, you know, stability issues. That is that's deep for us. That's deep, like we're our deep roots. You know, a lot of us weren't always flowing in the money, flowing in the cash. A lot of us had very somber upbringings. Or even, you know, in early adulthood when we are just starting out, we carry that inside of our body, especially with safety and stability. We maybe we've had relationships that, you know, have gone sour, have taught us, you know, bad things that you know bad things can happen to you if you're in a relationship. You know, we hold that. Even if we found the great guy, you know, the perfect friend, you know, we found the bit perfect business partner. We've had those losses, we've had those traumatic experiences with former people in our world. And, you know, we were so busy trying to survive that that we never sat down and really listened to our body to release it. And so now it stays there. It's held for years. It's it's held for decades until you release it. The hip thing, it may also show up in the solar plexus area if you're feeling like I have to handle it, I have to make it happen, I have to stay in control. You may experience tension in your upper abdomen, like shallow breathing or anxiety, feeling like you can't catch a breath, or you know, you're racing heart, or maybe your shoulders are just kind of, you know, clamped in forward and you're you have trouble, you know, with the heart forward. Because your ribs feel so stuck and locked. Feeling like you can't quite figure it out. Feeling like you need someone's permission, or you have to do it their way because you just can't quite figure it out, and you feel like you need someone else's way because following your own convictions is just isn't getting you where you want to be. Here you want to think about where you are giving your power away. Where are you going against your beliefs and are and also are your beliefs hindering you from getting where you want to be? There's that limiting belief brought up again. To release the energy from the body so that she can feel safe to live in her energetic power and stop relying on her physical power. Twisting, twisting, twisting will release my hips, is what I'm hearing. So I think I need to be twisting. So now you're not only unsticking the rib cage with these twists, but you're opening the spine, you're making room for the nerves to communicate with your brain, which communicate with your body. Like it goes down the pathway of your spine and it comes out the little holes from each vertebra. Vertebrae has like little holes out there where it kind of comes out, and then it communicates your brain, you know, your brain communicates with your body parts. And you got the cerebral spinal fluids, like just like oil in your car. I mean, you wouldn't have your car going without any oil in it. Well, when you're locked up and constricted, then you know, your your oil can't get through. And so you need to be flowing, you need to be fluid so that your body can communicate with your other body parts more easily. Power up your mind with books or lectures that help you realize your unique power. Now, there's so many, like, I don't want to say self-help, but I like to listen to like manifestation people like Abraham Hicks and um Neville Goddard and oh Joe Dispenza is one of my favorites. Of course he is. Of course he is. He's a manifestation guy, and he talks all about the nervous system and how it's connected. So ultimately, this is what I want you to take away from this conversation. Your body is not separate from the rest of your life. The things that you're experiencing, the tension, the pain, the places where you feel blocked, the patterns that you keep finding yourself in. This is all information. Your body is a map, and where that energy is showing up can give you clues about what is happening underneath the surface. Your body speaks to you. The question is, are you listening? Because when you slow down enough to hear what she's saying, understand that she is asking for your help and actually giving her the support that she needs, things can begin to shift like immensely. The energy moves out, new flow moves in, the tension can release, and the block can open. And that's what I want you to start doing. Rather than constantly trying to fix the symptoms, learn to listen to the message. And we're gonna take this much deeper next week. I'm doing a deep dive into the different areas where we hold this energy. Each day we're gonna look at a different area, what that area represents and how it shows up in your body and in your life, where you're holding, where you're blocking, where you have excess energy flow, and then what you can do to support yourself to get that energy moving again in the balanced way that it needs to be moving. Seven days, seven areas, a much deeper conversation about learning to listen to your body. So if this conversation gave you something to think about, come back next week and we're going all in.