The Stable Man Podcast
The Stable Man Podcast is a real, unfiltered space where three men get honest about faith, family, finance, and fidelity — the wins, the failures, and all the lessons they learned in between. Hosted by a licensed therapist, a marriage & spiritual development coach, and a retired pastor turned real estate investor, each episode blends hard-won wisdom with candid conversation to help you build a stronger marriage, a steadier faith, and a stable life. Whether you’re doing the work or you love someone who is, this is your guide to becoming the stable man — or standing beside one.
The Stable Man Podcast
Becoming A Stable Man
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
We kick off The Stable Man Podcast by sharing our real lives, our recent wins, and why we believe men need better tools and stronger brotherhood. We lay out the four pillars that guide everything we’ll build here and define what stability looks like when life is messy and growth is ongoing.
• Why we started this podcast and who we are as hosts
• Why many men lack community and how tools create stability
• Lessons from Ryan Clark’s ESPN exit and Netflix deal
• How we met and what brought the hosts together
• The four pillars: faith, family, finance, and fidelity
• What a stable man is through vision, execution, and honest self-assessment
• Why leadership is real even when it’s imperfect and how service shapes it
• Why “alpha” talk misses the point and how healthy partnership works
Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe, and definitely turn on that notification bell so you are aware every time we post, so that you are with us here at the Stable Man Podcast.
Why This Podcast Exists
SPEAKER_00To myself for weeks and months. Ran into you in the gym. Yeah. Cliff and I had already been talking about starting a podcast called The Stable Man. Um, and just timing and just dynamics didn't um precipitate it to happen. And I'm like, I think he's the one. And the spirit told me, yeah, go talk to him. Just just just test the waters. And Quentin was open, Clifton was open. Even me.
SPEAKER_02Family. Uh, I think family is it's extremely critical and important in a man's life. Uh, family doesn't necessarily mean marriage, it doesn't necessarily mean kids because you can have a family and not have those things. However, I am married. You all have been married and have a lot of experience um in that realm. And I think that we And he wins late.
SPEAKER_01Wins, man, yeah. So actually, uh, so I wrote a book earlier this year, uh, it's ebook, and over the last maybe month, it has really gotten and the only places it is on my website. It's called Um Five Questions Every Couple Asks After Betrayal.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Um, first tender, second tenor, third tender, I don't know. Um, but really good. Um, business has been good. It's been a challenge in a holding pattern on some things, but just trusting and believing. Um, relationship on 10. Okay. Um, son just got employed, got his own spot out of my pocket.
SPEAKER_01So that's funny. So, so we want to reach first, we want to reach reach men who we realize a lot of men don't have community.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so we want to provide not necessarily community here, like you, we we're not communing with you, but we want to give you um information and tools to help you become stable.
SPEAKER_02I'll go. Uh, one of my most recent wins is uh I just hired two more therapists for my practice. So we are at a total of four black male clinicians at the Imago Day firm, which I'm very, very happy about. That's the vision that I had when I first started the practice that I really wanted.
SPEAKER_01And the reason I pick fidelity is because that's I that's what I deal with on a daily basis. Men who have become unfaithful to their wives. They are walking in infidelity. Wow. Wow, wow. You can't be you you can't you can't have a stable family. You can't be a stable man if you don't operate in fidelity, as we're calling it.
SPEAKER_02Like, stability, a stable man is really a person who has not only vision for their life, but also has concrete steps to achieve that vision. What I mean is we I I believe we probably all have met a person who has all these ideas, but you don't see And so here's my definition of a stable man.
SPEAKER_00At least having attention to the stability and health of your life in those four areas. It is all my legs may not be the strongest right now, but I'm aware that maybe I'm lacking in my faith. I'm aware that maybe I'm lacking in my finances. And I turn that chair upside down and I'm working on that thing. I'm got me some gorilla glue. I got me some, you know, whatever it is. You're a you're a wood shop guy, so you can relate. Fellas, great day. Excellent day. What's up, man?
unknownOh, wow.
SPEAKER_00Awesome. Welcome to the Stable Man podcast. Yeah. Our inaugural uh episode. Yeah. How y'all feel about it?
SPEAKER_02You know, I'm feeling really good. Long time coming. We've been meeting for months trying to get this thing up and going so we can give the people what they need. And so it's finally here. So I'm excited about it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'm excited about what is gonna come of this, whose lives are gonna be changed, uh, what's the crazy stuff that's gonna be said. I'm looking for it all. I'm ready. Yep, yep. Uh we're your hosts.
SPEAKER_02Anti-crazy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. All that, all the above. We're your host. I'm Johnny Gentsry III. I'm a retired pastor, real estate investor, and men's coach.
SPEAKER_02My name is Quentin R. Giles. I am a husband, father, therapist, entrepreneur, and I help men lead from their calling and not their wounds.
SPEAKER_01And I am Clifton Brantley. I am a marriage and spiritual development coach, and my goal is to help you do love and life better. Awesome. I didn't have a tagline.
SPEAKER_02First off, no, like Cliff ate that.
SPEAKER_00It's great. Indeed.
Wins, Family Life, And Gratitude
SPEAKER_00So, um, what's been going on? How y'all been doing? Uh, what's been on your mind lately?
SPEAKER_02You know what? I'm recovering, tired. Kid just turned four, and so we we try to make sure we celebrate her in the best way possible. So we had about 30, 30 little people at Chuck E. Cheese a couple days ago. Cake, cupcakes, ice cream, pandemoni.
SPEAKER_00I didn't know Chucky Cheese was still in business. Oh, Chucky, Chucky is still doing.
SPEAKER_02Now, now Chucky is solo. He's not with the gang anymore. So back then, you know they had all the rap. Right, right. It's just it's just the rap. So it's just Chucky now. Chucky's still slinging them still slinging their cheese, okay? He's still there. So I'm I'm tired, but I'm here. Awesome. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Man, what's going on with me? I don't, man, listen, uh, let me try to pick something because it's so much. Uh, but let me just start with last night. Oh. I believe I am in a place I have had a having a conversation conversation with God. And um I believe it's time for me to turn inward, so to speak, because I've been focused too much outwardly on other stuff. And so um, I was thinking about our podcast. I'm like, well, Lord, I guess you're gonna give me some stuff to say on now too, huh? Because you're gonna be going through some transformation and you know, so um, but life is really good though. Yeah, life is really good. My son, I got my son living back with me right now for a little while. Uh my daughter just graduated from TSU. Okay. You know, I didn't know you can go from bachelor's to doctorate. Depending on the field. Yeah. I didn't know she's finna get a doctorate. I'm like, wait, I don't have a doctorate. So anyway, yeah, that's what's up with me, man. Yeah, that's good. What about you?
SPEAKER_00All good stuff. Yeah. Grateful is the operative word. Yeah. Um, I have a saying, I don't have a right to grumble. Uh, God's been better than good. Um, business is going well. He's been better than good to me.
SPEAKER_02Better than good to me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um, first tenor, second tenor, third tenor, I don't know. Um, but really good. Um, business has been good. It's been a challenge and a holding pattern on some things, but just trusting and believing. Um relationship on 10.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00Um, son just got employed, got his own spot out of my pocket. Oh. He's adulting. Yeah. All my girls are doing great. So, man, life is always good. Life is over.
SPEAKER_02I'm excited to get that. I'm treasuring the moment because my kid is four. Yeah. Right. But y'all have adult children. Yes.
SPEAKER_01How old are y'all kids? Uh, so my my let me see, my daughter just turned 30, um, 33. Okay. Uh, the Cliff Cliff Jr. is 31, and then my son, Chris, is 27. Yeah. Adult adults. Adults.
SPEAKER_0029, 26, 25, and 21. Oh, that's a lot of people. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Three girls, three girls, three beautiful girls in a boy.
SPEAKER_02And I I have one four-year-old. Yeah. One. I feel like one is enough. One is enough.
SPEAKER_00One is enough. But yeah, okay, okay. One goal when you're raising girls, stay out of prison. That's all. Okay. Stay out of prison. Yeah, just just. Now that's a quote. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because uh my greatest fear was that my daughters would bring home some knucklehead and he would do something to harm her, and daddy's going to prison. Understood. But God has been faithful. I could see that. I'm still free.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Hey. We ain't even supposed to be churchy on this podcast. But so what's a win you guys have had lately?
SPEAKER_02What's a win? You know, I'll go. Uh, one of my most recent wins is uh I just hired two more therapists for my practice. So we are at a total of four black male clinicians at the Imago Day firm, which I'm very, very happy about. That's the vision that I had when I first started the practice that I really wanted um a black male therapist cohort of clinicians being able to service the city. And so I had one, it was going well. And so I said, okay, maybe it's, you know, let's expand a little bit more. So I just hired two more. Um, and I'm looking to bring on a third. So it'll be a total of five of us in various specialties. So I'm couples and men, one of my guys specializes in veterans, another one um uh he specializes with teen boys, which by a blessing, because I, you know, I need adults and older. Um, and then another one, he is the other one that I brought on. He's he's newer to the field. Yeah. So he'll he will be more generalist practice until he decides to specialize. So that's a win for me.
SPEAKER_00We we that's a huge win.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. I'm really excited. I'm really, really excited about where this is gonna go and how we'll be able to impact and service the city.
SPEAKER_00So is that a scaling kind of a thing?
SPEAKER_02It is a grow your Oh, 100%. 100% scaling situation. Um, that also means as the boss, I gotta have the money to pay to people, right?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So that's different too, because you know, working, working as an independent clinician, you know, I just get my money as it comes in. Well, now I have three, four guys working under me. That means I need to have money already so that I can pay them. Yeah, and then I the business will receive it, you know, on the back end as people pay. But uh it's uh the Lord is kind. We've we've been we've been doing well. So good. That's my work. It's awesome.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Congrats on that. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01That's a fist bump on the book.
SPEAKER_02Okay, thank you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Cliff, any wins like man, yeah. So actually, uh, so I wrote a book earlier this year, uh, it's ebook, and over the last maybe month, it has really gotten, and own places it is on my website. Yeah. It's called um Five Questions Every Couple Asks After Betrayal. And um I've been I've been rewriting, well, I've been editing it, so to speak, but it's on my website. And man, it's been doing really good lately. So I count that as a win because uh there's no there was no real production cost other than my my energy to write it and uh digitize it. Yeah, and so so all the proceeds or all you know the money is just come directly to me because it's on my website. I don't have a distributor, not distributed, now maybe get that later.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, but it's the first book that I have published. Yeah, and I'm excited now because I'm a published author. I like that. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, congratulations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. ISBN number and everything. It's a book book. It's a book book.
SPEAKER_00Love it. Yeah, love it. Yeah. You know, um, I got to sp, I guess my win is I got to spend time with some returning citizens yesterday. Okay. Um, about 15 men and women who were fresh home from prison. Okay. And got to pour into them uh around small business development entrepreneurship, um, and got to hear the ingenuity, the intellect, the uh vision that these folks who society sometimes writes off that they have for starting businesses, um, taking care of their families, and becoming productive citizens in community. So I would call that a win. It is a win. Doing a series of work with them and gonna be helping them start businesses. Yeah. Yeah. That's that is a win.
SPEAKER_02That's excellent. Yeah. Because recidivism is high. And so, you know, one thing that we know from the data is a lot of people find themselves incarcerated due to a lack of economic uh status, if you will, or neck economic opportunity. So being able to come as soon as they are. How did you how did you phrase it? Returning citizen? Returning citizen. I like that.
SPEAKER_00That's the yeah, that's the politically correct term. No, that's a good thing. No, the term we call them ex offenders. Yeah. Uh whatever, you know.
SPEAKER_02No, I love that because it's strength-based. Yeah. Like it doesn't, it doesn't delegate them or relegate them to this thing that they did. Yeah. No, they're a returning citizen. And so, like, being able to provide for oneself helps reduce recidivism, which is, you know, the word going back into the system. So now that is a win. That's great.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Yes. Yeah. Y'all ready to jump in? Yeah, let's
Ryan Clark, Layoffs, And Redemption
SPEAKER_00do it. So, you know, we're gonna start with um kind of a current event and just what's happening on the scene, you know, things that I think are socially, politically, um, maybe even spiritually, you know, engaging for our audience. And I couldn't help but tap into the headlines, the recent news about our boy Ryan Clark. My fraternity brother. Um, for those who don't know, recently, I think July fired from ESPN mid-broadcast. He was actually on the air. It's crazy. Um, ESPN did a bunch of layoffs. They kind of, you know, if you let him tell it, he said that they masked it as a layoff, but it was really a firing. He was not in good graces with some of the executives because of his pro-social, pro-political, um, social justice stances that he's taken as an analyst um and was let go. And just got word that he just signed an epic deal, a multi-year deal for his podcast, the pivot with Netflix. Yeah, that's crazy. That's beautiful. How y'all feel about that?
SPEAKER_02I feel like good.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Let me say this on the onset. I don't know much about the sports. I mean, I know I look big and all the things. My father was a football player. This is just DNA. I was more of the artistic kid, so I don't really get into the sports that that that deep, but when it intersects with culture and society, I'm all in. So finding out what happened with Ryan Clark, kind of also knowing a little bit about his career and his stances. Yeah, I think it's actually kind of par for the course for ESPN based on my research and how they've done other folks uh that look like him, that look like us. Yeah. And so that part is par for the course. But what I really liked was his response afterward. Yeah. And uh, you know, I would say maybe like a day or two, he took some time and came out and basically told us how he really tried to be a representative for people who look like him and share our experiences. Yeah. And to that, I'm gonna always stand 10 toes down with that person and to do it in such a dignified and respectable way, which is anti-cultural because we're real big on the clapback. Yeah. And I think we would have created some space for him to clap back if he wanted to. Yeah. But for him to take this dignified role and then what, um a month or two, two months later, yeah, get this massive deal, I say kudos to him. Yes. Kudos to you. And let that be a lesson to us all on how to how to how to pave the road during adversity. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I love it. Yeah, man. You know, I don't know a lot about the Ryan Clark situation. I know who Ryan Clark is, and I I watched Pivot in passing sometimes, right? Um, so I remember when he got fired, and just what I heard from the story, like, you know, what you said, uh getting fired on air. I think that's crazy. It's crazy. I think companies, when they do that, like what? These are human beings. Why do you treat people that way? Yeah, period. But anyway, find him on on, and then I saw his his interview on his on his podcast when he talked about it and everything, and everything that you said, and how he handled it. I was, I'm with you. Like, I I thought that he was um very controlled, because I I don't think I would have been. Um But but like you say, that's that's I I think it that's an example for us to follow. Yeah, but then the biggest thing, I just saw this maybe a couple of, I don't know when it happened, but I saw again it came across my timeline. I didn't click on it, but the fact that he got this deal with Netflix. Yeah, I was like, wow. Yeah. So here's what that speaks to me though. In in my own personal, it speaks to me the idea that, and I don't know, I don't know what his belief system is, anything like that. But it speaks to me if you if if you show up, you're prepared, you do what you're supposed to do. Yeah, you do your job. Man can fire you, but just don't do the clap back. Let God fight your battles. Again, I don't know if this is what Ryan did, but just a lesson I could take from uh uh um let God fight your battles, another opportunity is gonna come up open for you. Yeah, but then the thing is too though, now I mean the brother wasn't gonna be hurting. He had a podcast and and and YouTube pays well. I don't know where else he's getting paid on, you know, on so so and then not to get into his money, but that's what I took from it. Like when a door closes, uh fret not thyself. There's another door. If you if when you become a stable man, yeah, yeah, you you you can wait on God and then maybe another door open for you. That's good. Yeah, that's hopeful that wasn't too deep for y'all, but that's what I got out of it. No, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that was that was that was right on point.
SPEAKER_00Um when one door closes, another one opens. And um happy for him, man. Yeah, yeah. Uh he he is a good soul, he has a good heart, he is a um vested, retired NFL pro-athlete Hall of Famer, but he's also um a seriously conscious and pro-social man in our community. So happy for him.
How The Hosts Connected
SPEAKER_00Yeah. How do we meet? How do we decide to do this?
SPEAKER_02You I was in the gym. Right, right, right. Working a back day, and you walked up to me and we got to talking, and next thing I know, we're here. Yeah, and I'm at Cliff at church.
SPEAKER_01So we met each other and we got it with that little cohort thing we got, and then Johnny, we've been knowing each other over 20. So I did, I did his wedding. Yeah. Way how long ago was that? Man, that was was it 96? That was 1997. 29 years ago. Wow. I did his wedding. Now we have friends and fellowship for 29 years. We reconnected um over the last year or so. Yeah. And you know, John was like, hey man, let's do a podcast. And so, yeah, that's how we got here.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So, so probably for three years, um, a podcast has been in my spirit. Um, transitioning from full-time church ministry, going through the pandemic, preaching to a camera in an empty auditorium for 18 months during the shutdown. Um, a podcast's been in my spirit and wanted to do it with some dynamic men. And it just wasn't the right time. And we all go to the same church, incidentally, we all go to the same church. I've been seeing you, you know, as a leader in our church, come up to the front every Sunday where you sit, you and your wife. And I was like, it's something on that brother. Like, I need to meet him. I said that to myself for weeks and months. Ran into you in the gym. Yeah. Cliff and I had already been talking about starting a podcast called The Stable Man. Um, and just timing and just dynamics didn't um precipitate it to happen. And I'm like, I think he's the one. And the spirit told me, yeah, go talk to him. Just just just test the waters. And Quentin was open, Clifton was open. We've been meeting, been planning, been praying, been preparing, and here we are. And here we are.
SPEAKER_02I'm excited. Yeah, I am too. I I love how the spirit moves, and I'm I'm honored, you know. Clearly, y'all were already ace-boom coon, you know, to bring me in. I'm like, well, I'm I'm the young guy, but you know, hey, why not? Let's let's see what we got. So I'm excited about it.
SPEAKER_00So
The Four Pillars Of Stability
SPEAKER_00uh our pillars. Can somebody just share on what our pillars are for the podcast?
SPEAKER_01Um, so you're talking about faith, family, family, finance, and fidelity, freedom, fun, food. No, I'm kidding. I'm just going with the Fs. No, but but on the serious uh um faith. I saw with faith, I'll let y'all talk about some of the other, but faith, yeah, man. Listen, um faith, don't think faith, like we can go churchy, but don't think faith so much as far as church. Think of faith as how you live your life. What we're trying to present on this podcast, um, increase your faith the way you live. Don't always live by what you see. Circumstances is bad. Oh man, I I quit. This is ain't gonna work. Yeah, no. Faith, we want to build men of faith because you can't see around the corner, but there's a God that can. And so I said I'm gonna be spiritual. Well, I'm sorry. So he can see around the corner. So when you have that faith piece, yeah, that's going to help you be a stable man. Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna pass somebody else for family.
SPEAKER_02Okay, I'll go family. Uh, I think family is it's extremely critical and important in a man's life. Uh, family doesn't necessarily mean marriage, it doesn't necessarily mean kids because you can have a family and not have those things. However, I am married. You all have been married and have a lot of experience um in that realm. And I think that we have a mindset and a viewpoint of how um having a family, wife and kids, it builds you in a certain type of way. Yeah. If you allow it, if you really dive into that thing and really stand into the leadership position that uh I believe that we believe men should be in, it is it is a certain stability that comes from taking on a family, taking on the responsibility of other people and leading them in such a way that would not only be beneficial to them, but beneficial to the people around you. And so we had to put that as a pillar as well in this podcast.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's powerful. I would say the finance pillar is based on what we all know to be true, and that is that um faith moves heaven, money moves earth. Hey, my gosh, on today. Um there's a proverb that King Solomon said, he said that the feast is for laughter uh and wine makes merry, but money answers all things. And so, you know, money answers money problems. Um, one of my greatest mistakes as a younger man, as I was pursuing quote unquote trying to become a stable man, was that um I prioritized a lot of faith stuff, a lot of giving back, a lot of helping others, but I didn't prioritize my own financial health early on. Um and my advice to younger men or any man who's pursuing stability, um, prioritize your financial health. Yeah. I think the last pillar is fidelity.
SPEAKER_01Fidelity. Yeah. You can't, you can't, uh, and the reason I pick fidelity is because that's I that's what I deal with on a daily basis. Men who have become unfaithful to their wives, they're walking in. Infidelity. Wow. Wow. You can't be, you, you can't, you can't have a stable family. Yeah. You can't be a stable man if you don't operate in fidelity, as we're calling it. Like you gotta, you gotta have some standards, some boundaries, some morals that's going to uh allow your wife to be safe. What a lot of men don't know is your number one responsibility, number one, is to provide safety. You can't provide safety if you're not um committed to fidelity. Yeah, it's not gonna happen.
SPEAKER_00That's good.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So who would you all say is our target audience? I mean, it might be women, it might be men, it might be younger, it might be older. Who are we trying to reach with the Stable Man podcast?
SPEAKER_01I think it's good for Quentin next, because you had a good answer the other day. I did. What did I say? You I thought was I dreaming? I thought you did. What did I say? Hold on, let me think. What do you say? Uh wait a minute. Was it you? Was it me? It was you question about like our audience. I thought you um, so I'll try to regurgitate what you say.
SPEAKER_02You know, I was real tired when we had that meeting. I was right, yeah, you're right, right.
SPEAKER_01So I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. So, so that's funny. So, so we want to reach first, we want to reach reach men who we realize a lot of men don't have community.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so we want to provide, not necessarily community here, like you, we're we're not communing with you, but we want to give you um information and tools to help you become stable. Yeah, because we believe that uh men are the foundation of society. Yeah, and then the family is built on the man. Yeah, and then uh uh the neighborhood is built on the family, and then the city is built on the neighborhood, and then the state is built on the city, and then the nation is built on the state. Ultimately, the world, if we look at it, it we need we need stronger men. Yeah, right? So our audience is um, first of all, men who want to do something with their lives. Don't worry about where you're starting, the goal is where you're going. And then um what age range? If you if you're a man, that age range. That yeah, that's the age range. Yeah, man. Right there. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Man, man. It was something that you just said, it triggered a uh not a part of the conversation that we had then, but just the ideology I've long held true to, which is why I've even built my therapy business the way that I have, really trying to bring men in as clinicians and then go out and serve men, is that I truly believe that uh men are just natural-born leaders. And that is not to say that women are not leaders. So hear me clear. Right. I believe, look at, look at when we started in the garden, the man was given the assignment, right? So the Lord has already put something in us to say that you are a leader, go forth and lead, which then means that we have the great potential to either do devastating harm or immaculate good. Wow. And when I look at couples, when I look at society, when I look at all the things around me, who is the larger perpetrator of harm? Yeah. It's us. Yeah. Because we have great capacity to impact those around us. And so I think that is my uh, you asked this earlier, I'm gonna just loop it back around. That is really my buy-in to this podcast as well. Yeah. In trying to reach the men to achieve that stability because we truly are the anchors. And if we could just inch towards um a better operating system, if you will, yeah, then I do think that will improve the lives of uh the people in the community around us. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um, you know, I think the stable man podcast is going to be a safe place for younger men, older men, um, wherever you are in your journey, to hear, connect, um, be sharpened, um, plug into content that is centered around faith, family, finance, and fidelity, but that will edify you, help you to feel seen, help you to feel safe, and help you to grow. Yeah. Um Kenny Luck, excuse me. Um, Kenny Luck, Dr. Kenny Luck is the men's ministry pastor at um Saddleback Church, Rick Warren's Church, one of the largest churches in the country. He wrote a book called Sleeping Giant. And in the book, he presupposes um this notion that men explode. They either explode for good or they explode for evil. Um based on when you look at a man's heart, out of it, the fruit that he bears is going to be born whether it's good fruit or bad fruit. So men explode. Um and our aim and our hope is that as we journey together on the Stableman podcast, that we will plant seeds that bear good fruit, um, that bear wisdom, that bear discipline, that bear temperance, uh, make you laugh, uh, make you say ouch, make you say, you know, ow. If you can't say amen, say hey man, you know. And just journey with us along along this podcast journey. You're really a preacher. Yes. So define stability.
What A Stable Man Looks Like
SPEAKER_00What is a stable man? Um, if you had to give your own definition of what a stable man looks like, what is a stable man? Because women might want to know. We got some women who might be following this podcast who may plug in. What is a stable man? Ladies, what's a stable man? Brothers, what's a stable man?
SPEAKER_01Um so if I had to say what a stable man is, first of all, I believe that there are probably different areas of stability that you would have to check off before you can say you're a stable man. And then let me say this. Uh that wouldn't be so if you're looking at a a grade or paper, whatever, you wouldn't have to get 100 in each class, or I'm stable here, I'm stable here. That's unrealistic. You'd be perfect. Yeah. Um, but maybe, and you know, I'm gonna put this out here publicly. Maybe we should come up with some kind of rubric where we can, just for some folk to look at it, it's not gonna be official, right? But say, you know, hey, when you're stable up to this number or whatever in this area, this area, then you're stable. But to get to the question, to the answer, uh, you gotta be stable in your finances. Um I'm like you. When I was younger, nobody told me how important money was. I chased love all my life. Love is the most important thing. We can't live without love. Well, but nobody told me. I said, well, once you get the love, how you gonna pay for it? It's correct. Because like you said, faith moves heaven. But see, man, I wish I'd have had that. I that's a good, I feel like I live my life as if faith moves earth. That's good. Because I grew up in church, which means I grew up in religion. But that caused me to be unstable. And so uh being stable is about um you know, securing your finances, securing your mental. We can't, we we can't be stable without our mental health being stable. Yeah, right. We live in a mental health stage. Yeah, so um because I didn't say a whole lot of words, I'm gonna leave it right there. I got more to say. Yeah, but we got the three-man podcast. Yeah, but stability, we gotta be, if you're not gonna be stable, you're gonna be shaking. Your wife's gonna want that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think for me, stability. A stable man is really a person who has uh not only vision for their life, but also has concrete steps to achieve that vision. What I mean is we I I believe we probably all have met a person who has all these ideas, but you don't see movement. And an idea can really be placed anyway. It can be placed in finances, it can be placed in, you know, family, kids, whatever. So you have you're a dreamer, and dreaming is not bad, but we see no execution in the things that you say that you want. And so stability can look like many different things, but I think a stable man is one that has the vision, has the dream, but has also done the work to know what steps there are to take, and then take those steps, even if they are incremental steps towards the thing that he's trying to achieve.
SPEAKER_00That's good. That's oh man, that's rich. That's good. That's rich. I'm gonna take the approach um uh in defining a stable man uh as a chair. Um who's gonna sit on a chair that's not stable? Yeah. Right? A chair has four legs. Um in this case, we're going to say, you know, most chairs, uh, most traditional chairs have four legs. Um we'll say leg one is faith, leg two is family, leg three is finance, leg three is fidelity. Um if faith, family, finance, and fidelity make up a stable man, then let's roll with that paradigm just for a second. If one of those legs are broken, is that man stable? Would you sit on a chair that has one broken leg? I'm too big. Or one week a wobbly leg. Or one week a wildly. And so here's my definition of a stable man. At least having attention to the stability and health of your life in those four areas. It is, I'm all my legs may not be the strongest right now, but I'm aware that maybe I'm lacking in my faith. I'm aware that maybe I'm lacking in my finances. And I turn that chair upside down and I'm working on that thing. I'm got me some gorilla glue. I got me some, you know, whatever it is, Cliff, you're a you're a wood shop guy, so you can relate. Y'all, Cliff has the most profound wood shop in his garage. This man be making dressers, placards, chairs, everything. Oh, I got an order for you. I need some stuff made. Custom made. Yeah. Um, but having the level of truth within myself to walk in truth and say, you know what? I'm struggling in my fidelity right now. I need to work on that. I'm struggling in my faith right now. I need to work, I'm struggling in my faith. And just pursuing stability in a spirit of truth with the goal of becoming stable. I like that. I do. So if there was one takeaway from this inaugural introductory podcast that you would want our listeners to walk away with, what would it be?
SPEAKER_01Hold on, you know what? Because how before we get to the, I ain't always getting this close to the end. Yeah. Something you said.
Leadership, Alpha Myths, And Humility
SPEAKER_01What'd I say? I wanted to come back to and kind of like piggyback on uh because I think it's I think it's powerful, especially even for this, for this introductory show, yeah, and to establish it. But I really kind of want to get y'all's opinion on this. Okay. So so I've been saying because I believe that if you were born a man, if you're born a male, it is God's intent for you to lead. Now, whether or not you lead or not, don't know. But everybody born with the well, male, yeah, you're to lead. And so what are your thoughts about that?
SPEAKER_02That's great. Uh, I think I even the even the uh idea of whether you lead or not is up to you. I happen to believe that every man is a leader regardless. Leader don't mean good. We got some bad leaders. We ain't supposed to be getting political. But we got some bad leaders just in the mix, if you will, right? So I don't believe that leader is a good trait. It's just the ability, the really the gifting to have people follow you. That's all a leader is. So you could be good or bad. So I often tell, you know, even in my one-to-ones, because I I do see women as therapy clients, you know, where is he leading you to? That's really the question, right? So if you flip it on that, I think that every man is going to lead. Where are you leading yourself? Who are you following? And then where are you leading the people behind you? That part. Because you're leading them somewhere. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That part. Yeah. Um, I agree. Every man is a leader, is called to lead. Uh, I think you'd have some wives, some girlfriends that disagree with that. That's how that have some beta um husbands and who they wish would lead, who just don't have it in them. I know, I know, I know the men, you know, I know men who are like, baby, whatever you say. It's whatever you say, baby. You know, you you you decide type type dudes. Um I will say this. We're called to lead, but to your point, who are you following? Before you jump up trying to lead a woman, children in your company, um, in the marketplace, who have you submitted to? Whose vision have you helped built? Um, who have you served? Um, and I think that servanthood is the vehicle to leadership. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I definitely.
SPEAKER_02Can I peel something out just a little bit with the with the beta male? Yeah. I would say this, because I think, you know, we got a lot of.
SPEAKER_00If not a diss towards beta guys.
SPEAKER_02Well, you know what I'm saying? I don't know what beta means. That's why I said, oh, he's going, he's going a little political. It's not really culturally political, if you will. Right, right, right.
SPEAKER_01That sounds that sound to me, I'm I'm not gonna that sounds like that sounds like um alpha man. Yeah, yeah. Beta is under that. Y'all made that up. Yeah. So I'm just gonna speak to it. Lions are alphas. Hey, we're not lions, yeah. And if you want to be like a lion, the women run the jungle. They do. They the ones he hunting. Like they may protect from you don't want to be no alpha lion. Yeah. God didn't make us alpha males. You made that up. The two aggressive and let me say this. I've never in my life, I'm talking about me. Yeah, I've never in my life met one alpha male that was not a little boy inside.
SPEAKER_02Uh then there's that. I was just gonna say, like, to that, because I think there's so much toxicity online around the topic that, like, that doesn't, you know, as a man, you also have to be secure enough to step back to know if your woman wife has the skill set that you don't. Yeah. So, like, when the wife and I, when we first got married, we uh we ran a cleaning company, which was crazy. It was not even something, I don't even know how we got in that business. But we scaled it, we had about 18 people under us, we had a huge contract in Houston, and it was running well. Well, what we found, what I learned about myself is even though I'm a therapist, yeah, I'm really not good with people in the day-to-day. Okay not every single day. Now, as a therapist, I don't see my clients every single once a week, yeah, depending on how intense, maybe even twice a week. But we're talking about everyday constant communication. Really, we're talking about HR, we're talking about the culture of people. She is graced so much more for people to be people, because in my mind, I'm like, it's a cleaning company. Go in there and clean that toilet and come on up out of there. Like, we're not building rockets for NASA. Right. But what we learned about a year into that business was that I'm not skilled at that the way she is, but I am skilled with them numbers. Okay. So then I become scheduling and payroll.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02And I thrive there. Yeah. She becomes people in culture, yeah, which encompass training. And you've met the wife, very humble, graceful spirit. Yes. Right? So great people person. Yeah, she's an excellent people person. Yeah. I and she can she can do it in a way that I cannot. Yeah. I think people see me and see the personality and see like the charisma, if you will, but like at a certain point, this is gonna cut off. Yeah. And if we here too long, you're liable to get another side of me. Yeah, yeah. She can endure in a way that I cannot. Yeah. And so, even in that, that, that we had to have those conversations of like, hey, babe, you're strong at this. You do that part. Yeah. I'ma do this part, and it worked well. And so I just wanted to peel out like the the idea of like, well, baby, whatever you want. Well, yeah, some men are like that, right? They just have no uh uh assumption, leadership, if you will, right? But then there are others where you may, it may blur the lines because you may believe that you are supposed to know how to do all the things. Well, that's I just don't have all the skill sets. Yeah, I have a particular skill set. She has a particular skill set. And if we honor them both and allow whoever is stronger to take the lead on that, then we find ourselves doing well.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no. I fully believe that great leadership understands its limits and is comfortable empowering others to lead in their greatest strengths. I think that's great leadership. Absolutely. And I think men who don't have leadership innately can acquire, grow, develop, cultivate, and curate leadership skills. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I agree with that.
Takeaways, Brotherhood, And Closing
SPEAKER_00What's the greatest takeaway from today? I mean, this was our inaugural show, our inaugural episode, The Stable Man is in full and total effect. We are here. If you had one thing you want our audience to take away, what would that be, Cliff?
SPEAKER_01Um one thing I want them to take away uh is these are three three three men committed to uh giving you solid information to help you do love and life better. Period. Even though that's my slogan. Yeah, okay. But but that's what we're here to do, to help you do love and life better. And um, that's y'all's takeaway. What I want y'all to have. Let me tell you what my takeaway is. What's your takeaway? Just the fellowship. I I enjoy just talking and you know, just just chopping it up. And I'm looking forward to uh what is it gonna be? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's my takeaway. Yeah, same. I would say uh I won't I'm gonna do it just like you did it. One for them, one for me. Uh for them, I would say to know that we are not perfect.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And so we don't come at this on a mountain looking down. Yeah. We come at this with the heart to serve you, with the heart for that you would understand and you would hear and be able to do something different in your life and to take not only our personal experiences, but some stuff I just believe you don't have to always personally experience to learn. Come on. But our knowledge and our wisdom and giving it to you so that you can apply it in the way that best fits your life.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's for you. For me, it is I'm gonna say the same thing. Like just chopping it up, you know, so often in my business. Like I told y'all I'm skilling, right? So that's even bringing in, oh, maybe I need to hire my wife because now I got guys on the team. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just thought about that. I got more people on the team. Okay, anyway, but no, no, no. Uh, but like just in my social streets, if you will, a lot of the stuff that I do, a lot of the content, a majority of it is just me. Yeah, it is literally just me. And so this has been refreshing not having to be the talent, if you will, even though we are the talent for the show.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh, but to be able to bounce off of you know the intellect and the wisdom and the just life experience that y'all have, like that's been extremely fulfilling to me in this short time we've had.
SPEAKER_00Facts. Yeah. Facts. Um, I would say, I like your point about you don't have to experience um trauma, injury, mistakes, failure to know not to do certain things. Correct. You don't have to smoke crack to know don't smoke crack.
SPEAKER_02I was literally about to say, I ain't never had crack a day in my life.
SPEAKER_00Right, right. We done been through seeing crack with them in the heights, in River Oak. Yes, they do crack too. As well. Yeah. So I love that. And I can tell you confidently and just knowing you guys, we've all made enough mistakes along the way to share with our audience that you don't have to make the mistakes we made. We've also had enough successes uh and enough wins to share that we can pursue this journey to stable manhood together. Yeah. Yeah. For me, um, I'm looking forward to the margaritas after the after recording. Hey. I love fellowship with you guys and and um just the brotherhood. Yeah, Cliff made the point that a lot of men don't have friends. So welcome to our community. Welcome to brotherhood, welcome to friendship, welcome to the stable man podcast.
SPEAKER_02And don't forget to like, share, and subscribe and definitely turn on that notification bell so you are aware every time we post so that you are with us here at the Stable Man Podcast.
SPEAKER_01In other words, come back.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.