WEBVTT 00:00:00.479 --> 00:00:04.480 All right, I'm gonna start by just getting us all caught up on where we're at, what we've been doing all year long. 00:00:04.559 --> 00:00:07.839 In case you're new, we've been doing something this year called following Jesus. 00:00:07.919 --> 00:00:10.400 This has been a year-long study of the book of Matthew. 00:00:10.560 --> 00:00:18.719 We've been tagging along, just going wherever Jesus is, trying our best to learn from Jesus, to see him more clearly, to understand him better. 00:00:18.879 --> 00:00:20.320 You can never get enough of Jesus. 00:00:20.480 --> 00:00:23.920 There's never gonna be a day where you say, I understand him completely. 00:00:24.239 --> 00:00:25.519 He's just too amazing for that. 00:00:25.600 --> 00:00:33.840 So we've just been trying to soak in everything that he does, everything that he says, so that we can understand him and ultimately know him better. 00:00:34.079 --> 00:00:38.640 Right now we're in a little mini-series that's part of that study called People Problems. 00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:39.759 People problems. 00:00:40.320 --> 00:00:43.600 Question, and I'd love a show of hands for this if you're cool with it. 00:00:43.759 --> 00:00:45.920 How many of you would say, I am a people person? 00:00:46.079 --> 00:00:47.920 I'm a people person, I like people. 00:00:48.719 --> 00:00:50.159 Keep your hands high. 00:00:50.799 --> 00:00:53.119 Notice how few there are. 00:00:53.359 --> 00:00:54.159 How about this? 00:00:54.399 --> 00:00:57.520 How many of you would say, I'm a dog person, I love dogs? 00:00:57.840 --> 00:00:59.600 Significantly more hands. 00:01:00.240 --> 00:01:02.079 It's funny how that is, right? 00:01:02.719 --> 00:01:08.799 So, full disclosure, I have gained a bit of a reputation over the years of not liking dogs. 00:01:08.959 --> 00:01:09.920 And it's not fair. 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:12.079 I'm gonna, this is an unfair label. 00:01:12.799 --> 00:01:13.840 Here's how it all went down. 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:18.560 Um, we had a lady on our staff several years ago that had lost a dog. 00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:25.760 And she said, just in passing, while we were all eating lunch, that she's comforted by the fact that she knows her dog's in heaven. 00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:33.840 And what an intelligent, loving, compassionate person would do is just go, I'm so sorry for your loss. 00:01:34.239 --> 00:01:38.959 What I did was say, wait, do you think dogs go to heaven? 00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:41.359 And I wasn't saying that they don't. 00:01:41.680 --> 00:01:43.680 I never said they went to hell. 00:01:44.560 --> 00:01:50.640 I just was like, let's have a theological conversation about dogs and the afterlife and spirits. 00:01:50.719 --> 00:01:55.280 And if dogs do go to heaven, is it because they confess their sins and pray and put their trust in Jesus Christ? 00:01:55.439 --> 00:01:57.120 Or is it because they're like good enough to get to heaven? 00:01:57.200 --> 00:02:00.319 And the Bible talks about how no one's good enough to get to heaven, dogs included. 00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:04.640 Uh, and if we're gonna go with, are we saying that dogs just automatically go to heaven? 00:02:04.799 --> 00:02:06.879 All dog, every dog ever? 00:02:07.200 --> 00:02:08.479 What about cats? 00:02:09.120 --> 00:02:09.439 See? 00:02:09.840 --> 00:02:11.439 Where do we draw the line? 00:02:11.680 --> 00:02:14.879 Like, let's really be clear with this, okay? 00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:19.840 And so it was just sort of a playful theological conversation. 00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:25.599 I brought it up a few times over the years in here, and I've learned tread lightly when you talk about dogs. 00:02:25.919 --> 00:02:27.360 That's the way it is in movies, too, right? 00:02:27.439 --> 00:02:32.240 There might be some movie that's post-apocalyptic and millions of people die in the movie, but one dog dies, we're like, everyone cries. 00:02:32.319 --> 00:02:33.039 Those are the dogs. 00:02:33.199 --> 00:02:35.280 Like, half the world died in that movie. 00:02:35.439 --> 00:02:37.199 There's just one dog, whatever. 00:02:37.759 --> 00:02:39.680 I don't dislike dogs. 00:02:39.840 --> 00:02:41.120 I just wanted this to be known. 00:02:41.199 --> 00:02:41.759 I love dogs. 00:02:41.840 --> 00:02:43.039 I grew up with dogs. 00:02:43.360 --> 00:02:45.520 My family is a huge dog family. 00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:47.599 My mom usually has two or three dogs. 00:02:47.680 --> 00:02:51.599 We grew up, I had big dogs, I had collies, I had Newfoundlands, giant schnauzers. 00:02:51.840 --> 00:02:52.319 I love dogs. 00:02:52.479 --> 00:02:55.599 When we first got married, Megan and I got this little dog named Wojo. 00:02:55.919 --> 00:02:57.120 I actually have a picture of Wojo. 00:02:57.520 --> 00:03:00.159 Um, he has since gone to be with the Lord. 00:03:00.479 --> 00:03:00.800 Okay? 00:03:01.439 --> 00:03:02.240 I'll say that. 00:03:02.400 --> 00:03:03.360 Do you guys have that picture? 00:03:03.439 --> 00:03:04.159 If you do, yeah. 00:03:04.240 --> 00:03:05.199 No, no, that's no. 00:03:05.439 --> 00:03:05.759 No. 00:03:06.240 --> 00:03:07.360 Evil, go back. 00:03:07.520 --> 00:03:08.800 Other dog, that's Wojo. 00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:10.639 Thank you. 00:03:11.599 --> 00:03:12.879 Come on, guys. 00:03:13.199 --> 00:03:17.280 You don't realize what the tech team just did, the insult they just did. 00:03:18.240 --> 00:03:19.120 Wojo. 00:03:20.080 --> 00:03:20.960 Great dog. 00:03:21.360 --> 00:03:23.280 Love that dog, missed that dog. 00:03:23.520 --> 00:03:28.000 I was a dog person my entire life, all the way through Wojo, and then. 00:03:29.280 --> 00:03:32.159 Well, I did have kids, and that changed things, true. 00:03:32.400 --> 00:03:35.759 But we got another dog named Roxy. 00:03:35.919 --> 00:03:36.800 This is Roxy. 00:03:36.879 --> 00:03:38.479 Let's move on to Roxy. 00:03:38.639 --> 00:03:39.840 That's Roxy. 00:03:42.479 --> 00:03:46.639 There was a movie when I was a child called All Dogs Go to Heaven. 00:03:47.280 --> 00:03:49.199 Whoever wrote that movie never met Roxy. 00:03:49.280 --> 00:03:50.879 I'm just gonna tell you that right now. 00:03:51.280 --> 00:03:52.960 Roxy was an impulse by. 00:03:53.199 --> 00:03:55.680 We got Roxy at the pet store in the mall. 00:03:55.759 --> 00:03:58.000 If you remember, there used to be a pet store in the mall. 00:03:58.080 --> 00:04:01.120 We walked by, it's the worst impulse by you can ever make. 00:04:01.280 --> 00:04:05.199 Because we walked by this, she's one of those dogs that's so ugly, she's cute, you know what I'm saying? 00:04:05.280 --> 00:04:07.520 Like just giant eyeballs poking out of her face. 00:04:07.680 --> 00:04:09.520 And my wife was like, we have to get this dog. 00:04:09.599 --> 00:04:10.159 And I love my wife. 00:04:10.240 --> 00:04:11.840 I'm like, yeah, and I love dogs my whole life. 00:04:11.919 --> 00:04:13.199 I'm like, yeah, more the merrier. 00:04:13.360 --> 00:04:13.680 Dogs. 00:04:13.840 --> 00:04:16.000 Roxy was the worst dog. 00:04:16.399 --> 00:04:18.399 I've had dozens of dogs. 00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:20.079 Roxy's the worst. 00:04:20.319 --> 00:04:21.839 We had her for years. 00:04:22.079 --> 00:04:23.199 We tried everything. 00:04:23.360 --> 00:04:24.560 She was mischievous. 00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:27.199 Uh, she just destroyed everything. 00:04:27.439 --> 00:04:28.959 She did this weird stuff. 00:04:29.040 --> 00:04:37.519 Like every time we turned the vacuum cleaner on, every single time, she would freak out, run to a corner, try to climb up the corner of a wall, and completely empty her bowels. 00:04:38.079 --> 00:04:39.120 Every time. 00:04:39.680 --> 00:04:41.680 Three years in, never got used to it. 00:04:41.759 --> 00:04:44.000 We had to take her outside and we vacuumed all this stuff. 00:04:44.160 --> 00:04:45.839 Roxy was, she was terrible. 00:04:45.920 --> 00:04:53.040 I actually gave Roxy away to a friend who had a daughter that wanted a dog, and I was like, I have a dog that you could have. 00:04:53.600 --> 00:04:56.800 And this is after we'd had her for like four years. 00:04:57.040 --> 00:04:58.319 I did my time. 00:04:58.720 --> 00:05:02.319 And to this day, I know I'm gonna have to answer to the Lord for that. 00:05:02.480 --> 00:05:07.680 I know that when I stand in front of God, he's gonna be like, so you gave Roxy away to that guy. 00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:08.879 Let's talk about that. 00:05:08.959 --> 00:05:10.240 I shouldn't have done that. 00:05:10.959 --> 00:05:14.319 The worst of the whole situation with Roxy is that she didn't even love us. 00:05:14.480 --> 00:05:15.600 She didn't even, she didn't like us. 00:05:15.680 --> 00:05:17.199 We went through all this stuff with her. 00:05:17.360 --> 00:05:18.240 She was hard. 00:05:18.480 --> 00:05:19.759 She didn't even like us. 00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:23.199 Every time I would open the front door, she would bolt. 00:05:23.519 --> 00:05:25.839 And not to go play, to run away. 00:05:26.079 --> 00:05:29.040 She would run down the street, like looking back, like I'm out of here. 00:05:29.120 --> 00:05:31.680 And I would do this thing every time, like, no, Roxy. 00:05:33.600 --> 00:05:34.560 Come back. 00:05:36.639 --> 00:05:41.439 You know, just so tempted to just be like, ah, well, she's free. 00:05:41.519 --> 00:05:42.720 This is what she wants. 00:05:42.959 --> 00:05:48.079 But then I would have that thing inside of me, it's like, ah, and I'd go chase after this stupid little dog. 00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:53.680 So I'm just gonna say, I love dogs, just know I've been through some stuff. 00:05:54.000 --> 00:05:56.639 And I was more of a dog person before Roxy. 00:05:57.040 --> 00:05:59.519 Now, this has a point. 00:06:01.600 --> 00:06:17.600 I don't know if you've ever had a situation like that where you there's a dog and you used to be more of a dog person, or there's a cat, used to be more of a cat person, whatever, but I'm willing to bet that we've all had situations with people where we would say, you know, I used to be more of a people person until that person. 00:06:19.120 --> 00:06:23.360 I used to trust people a whole lot more until this one thing happened with that person. 00:06:23.439 --> 00:06:28.160 I used to like being around people a whole lot more until this thing happened with these people. 00:06:28.319 --> 00:06:40.879 And we have experiences with people that burn us, that hurt us, and they just make us pull back, and we're not quite as much of a people person as we used to be. 00:06:41.839 --> 00:06:43.279 We have people problems. 00:06:43.519 --> 00:06:44.800 People are awesome. 00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:45.759 They truly are. 00:06:45.920 --> 00:06:46.560 People are amazing. 00:06:46.720 --> 00:06:47.360 God loves people. 00:06:47.439 --> 00:06:50.480 There is nothing in this world that God loves more than people. 00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:57.120 Genesis chapter 1, verses 27 and 28, says that God created human beings in his own image. 00:06:57.279 --> 00:07:04.560 In the image of God, he created them, male and female, he created them, and then God blessed them and said, Be fruitful and multiply. 00:07:04.720 --> 00:07:12.399 We are the only thing that God made in his image, to resemble him, to look like him, and we're the only thing that he created and then blessed. 00:07:13.920 --> 00:07:15.680 People are everything to God. 00:07:15.920 --> 00:07:30.720 Read scripture and just marvel at the lengths that God is willing to go to help us when we don't deserve it, to save us from our own stupidity, from our own evil, to give us chance after chance after chance. 00:07:30.879 --> 00:07:32.240 People are the point to God. 00:07:32.319 --> 00:07:33.759 He does everything for people. 00:07:35.120 --> 00:07:40.000 People aren't just the point, they're not just the ends for God and his plans, they're often the means. 00:07:40.160 --> 00:07:40.959 God uses people. 00:07:41.040 --> 00:07:42.319 People are God's plan A. 00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:48.240 Very often when we go through a hard situation in life, we want God to do something and we want God to do it and bypass people. 00:07:48.399 --> 00:07:50.879 That's what we think the best situation would be. 00:07:51.199 --> 00:07:53.680 God just zaps us and boom. 00:07:53.920 --> 00:07:54.480 Done. 00:07:54.800 --> 00:07:56.319 No person involved. 00:07:56.639 --> 00:08:00.720 Maybe that's because a lot of us are introverts, but but that's usually what we want. 00:08:00.800 --> 00:08:07.199 That in our minds would be the best situation that God would fix our problem and bypass using a person and just boom, directly do it. 00:08:07.279 --> 00:08:09.120 But that's not the way God tends to work. 00:08:09.439 --> 00:08:11.360 He can and he does. 00:08:12.480 --> 00:08:14.560 But people are God's plan A. 00:08:14.720 --> 00:08:15.759 He uses people. 00:08:16.720 --> 00:08:18.879 So much so that you should be careful what you pray for. 00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:24.480 If you pray for wisdom, which by the way, scripture says, pray for wisdom, if you lack it and God will give you wisdom. 00:08:24.639 --> 00:08:26.879 We think he's just gonna zap us with wisdom. 00:08:27.279 --> 00:08:30.000 That you just pray that and you're like, I am now wiser. 00:08:30.959 --> 00:08:32.799 No, here's what he's probably going to do. 00:08:33.039 --> 00:08:37.919 He can do anything, but what he's probably gonna do is put some wise people in your life that you have to listen to. 00:08:39.679 --> 00:08:46.559 Help you see the wisdom that's already around you, and you'll glean that wisdom from others. 00:08:46.879 --> 00:08:59.679 He tends to use people so much so that when he decided to save the world to rescue us from sin, to restore our rightful place as his children, he did it by becoming a person. 00:09:00.799 --> 00:09:02.559 Like people are the point and the means. 00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:03.679 That's the way that God works. 00:09:03.759 --> 00:09:04.399 He loves people. 00:09:04.559 --> 00:09:09.600 People are amazing and then they're not at the same time. 00:09:10.159 --> 00:09:11.440 People are hard. 00:09:12.240 --> 00:09:13.360 They are so hard. 00:09:14.879 --> 00:09:20.639 People are selfish, they lie, they cheat, they steal, they deceive. 00:09:21.120 --> 00:09:25.279 It's amazing how much flat God gets for things that people do, if you think about it. 00:09:25.519 --> 00:09:35.039 There's a lot of people in the world really angry with God, and they're not really angry with God, they're angry with people, and they just sort of take what people have done to them and they put that on God. 00:09:35.279 --> 00:09:38.000 And if God wanted to be, he could say, hey, I didn't do any of that. 00:09:38.240 --> 00:09:38.879 That was you. 00:09:39.039 --> 00:09:40.159 That was that person. 00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:46.000 But people are hard, and they're unavoidable. 00:09:46.399 --> 00:09:58.000 And if you try to avoid them and you live a really insular, cynical life where you just don't spend any time with any other people, it just leads to sadness, loneliness, depression. 00:09:58.159 --> 00:09:59.440 Like we need people. 00:10:00.720 --> 00:10:02.480 So it's just kind of like a big mess. 00:10:02.720 --> 00:10:09.600 People are awesome and they're horrible, and we don't want to be around them because of all the things that come with them, but then we need them, and so how do we deal with this? 00:10:09.679 --> 00:10:13.279 And thankfully, we have Jesus to guide us and show us the way. 00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:17.679 And so today we're gonna explore some scripture where Jesus teaches us how to deal with people. 00:10:17.759 --> 00:10:19.840 And I'm just gonna say on the front end, it's a lot. 00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:22.080 We're gonna cover a lot of ground today. 00:10:22.320 --> 00:10:25.519 It's a little bit of a fire hose, so walk in, but we can do this. 00:10:25.600 --> 00:10:25.919 We got this. 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:29.120 So let's open up to Matthew chapter 18, verse 15. 00:10:29.759 --> 00:10:38.080 Jesus says, if another believer, some of your translations, depending on what you're reading on, by the way, I'm reading from the mobile app, every message that we do, we have all the scripture in the app itself. 00:10:38.159 --> 00:10:39.200 You can just follow along. 00:10:39.279 --> 00:10:49.840 Um, some translations will say, if a brother, but it's talking about a believer, if another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. 00:10:50.080 --> 00:10:53.840 If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 00:10:54.240 --> 00:11:00.799 But if you're unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say can be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 00:11:00.960 --> 00:11:04.480 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. 00:11:04.720 --> 00:11:11.120 Then if he or she won't accept the church's decision, treat that person as a pagan or as a corrupt tax collector. 00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:12.799 I tell you the truth. 00:11:13.039 --> 00:11:17.600 Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven. 00:11:17.759 --> 00:11:24.159 I also tell you this: if two of you here agree concerning anything that you ask, my father in heaven will do it for you. 00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:27.840 For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them. 00:11:27.919 --> 00:11:33.440 And we could talk about just that section for a long time, the whole, if you agree, it's it's agreed upon in heaven and all that. 00:11:33.519 --> 00:11:38.399 Just we're not gonna go there today, just suffice it to say that God really loves it when we're unified. 00:11:38.639 --> 00:11:44.000 That when we're unified together, when we live in agreement with one another, there's like agreement with heaven as well. 00:11:44.720 --> 00:11:45.039 Okay? 00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:52.080 Now, Peter comes and he says, Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? 00:11:52.240 --> 00:11:53.200 Seven times? 00:11:53.519 --> 00:11:54.639 Seven times. 00:11:54.879 --> 00:11:58.480 No, not seven times, Jesus replied, but seventy times seven. 00:11:58.639 --> 00:12:05.759 Therefore, the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:11.039 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars he couldn't pay. 00:12:11.200 --> 00:12:15.919 So his master ordered that he be sold along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned to pay the debt. 00:12:16.080 --> 00:12:20.159 But the man fell down before his master and begged him, Please be patient with me, I'll pay it all. 00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:24.879 And then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. 00:12:25.120 --> 00:12:28.799 But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. 00:12:28.879 --> 00:12:30.960 He grabbed him by the throat, demanded instant payment. 00:12:31.120 --> 00:12:33.679 His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. 00:12:33.840 --> 00:12:36.879 Be patient with me, I'll pay it, he pleaded, but his creditor wouldn't wait. 00:12:36.960 --> 00:12:40.639 He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full. 00:12:40.879 --> 00:12:44.480 When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. 00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:59.440 They went to the king and told him everything that had happened, and then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, You evil servant, I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me, shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you? 00:12:59.840 --> 00:13:04.159 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. 00:13:04.320 --> 00:13:09.600 That is what my heavenly father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart. 00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:12.240 I thought I'd end that like in a positive note. 00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:14.639 So I said, from your heart. 00:13:15.840 --> 00:13:16.960 It's intense. 00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:19.759 Now, again, there's a lot there. 00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:21.759 We're gonna sort of break this into two sections. 00:13:21.919 --> 00:13:29.919 We've got the first section where Jesus is talking about how to go to someone that you have an issue with and how to try to bring that to resolution. 00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:33.360 And then the second set is that parable about forgiveness. 00:13:33.519 --> 00:13:34.720 We're gonna kind of look at both of those. 00:13:34.799 --> 00:13:37.360 And I have a few caveats that I want to say on the front end. 00:13:37.919 --> 00:13:39.600 Just things that are important to understand. 00:13:39.759 --> 00:13:50.000 Number one, caveat number one, when it comes to this conflict resolution approach that Jesus gives us, it is assuming that you're dealing with another believer. 00:13:50.240 --> 00:13:56.559 That does not mean that if you're someone who's not a Christian, uh, then, hey, we we can do whatever we want to you, we can say whatever we want. 00:13:56.799 --> 00:13:57.440 Deal with it. 00:13:57.679 --> 00:14:03.200 Doesn't mean we're supposed to have an attitude where we don't love and try to have good relationship with non-believers. 00:14:03.600 --> 00:14:04.639 That's not what it's saying. 00:14:04.799 --> 00:14:12.399 But it's important for us to understand that Jesus is not saying you gotta run and chase after every person in this world who doesn't agree with you and has an issue with you. 00:14:12.559 --> 00:14:13.759 Jesus did not do that himself. 00:14:13.840 --> 00:14:19.039 He didn't chase after the Pharisees and just go, hey, let's let's bury the hatchet, let's figure this out, guys. 00:14:19.759 --> 00:14:30.159 It's assuming here you're talking about another believer that you live in close community with, someone that is part of your life. 00:14:31.519 --> 00:14:35.679 And when an issue arises and there's division, how do we resolve that? 00:14:35.759 --> 00:14:36.799 So that's the first caveat. 00:14:36.879 --> 00:14:39.519 This is talking about how we behave as believers. 00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:55.039 Number two, sometimes when we read scriptures like this, we have a tendency as people, especially those of us that are really wired to be rule followers, where we we take something like this and we interpret it in the most restrictive and burdensome way possible. 00:14:55.200 --> 00:14:57.759 Sometimes entire denominations or churches do this. 00:14:57.919 --> 00:15:01.759 Maybe you grew up in a church that was hyper-focused on church discipline. 00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:03.759 And so they they take this stuff seriously. 00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:12.000 It's good to take scripture seriously, but oftentimes it's interpreted in a way that becomes really heavy-handed and cumbersome, and it actually creates a lot of pain and hurt. 00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:27.919 Jesus, one of his greatest criticisms of the Pharisees was that they interpreted the laws that we have in the Old Testament of the Bible in the most strict ways possible to the point where they were burdens to people that they weren't meant to be. 00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:35.440 And there were no exceptions, and people had to just go around like crazy people, trying their best to follow all the rules, and that was never the intention of God. 00:15:35.600 --> 00:15:39.120 That's just what happens when people get involved sometimes. 00:15:39.600 --> 00:15:44.000 And the same can be said here that Jesus is not giving us this to give us a crisis. 00:15:44.159 --> 00:15:48.080 He's not saying, hey, quit your job because you don't have time to work anymore. 00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:51.200 You just have to find every person that you've ever had an issue with and resolve it. 00:15:51.360 --> 00:15:53.120 So use your vacation days this week. 00:15:53.200 --> 00:15:54.159 I don't know what to tell you. 00:15:54.320 --> 00:15:56.240 He's not giving us a crisis. 00:15:56.879 --> 00:16:00.320 So don't read this and feel this burden. 00:16:00.559 --> 00:16:04.799 Like, oh no, I have to instantly make a lot of phone calls today and all that. 00:16:04.879 --> 00:16:06.240 But if he calls you to do that, fine. 00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:17.440 What Jesus is doing here is giving us a reasonable, helpful approach to deal with conflict, hopefully, really early, when we have an issue with another brother or sister in the Lord. 00:16:17.679 --> 00:16:18.000 Okay? 00:16:18.799 --> 00:16:21.600 Don't let this become a burden because it's not meant to be. 00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:24.480 It's definitely a challenge, but it's not a burden. 00:16:24.799 --> 00:16:29.440 And caveat number three, and some people might argue with me on this, and that's fine. 00:16:29.919 --> 00:16:33.679 I don't believe Jesus is talking about extreme traumatic hurt. 00:16:34.799 --> 00:16:37.440 So when we read this, we often think of people that we have an issue with. 00:16:37.519 --> 00:16:44.559 That person said something about us, they lied about us, they deceived us in some way, they they betrayed us, they didn't follow up when they said they would. 00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:46.799 But then there's other traumas. 00:16:47.039 --> 00:16:51.679 We can think of people who have really damaged us in incredibly intense ways. 00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:58.639 And Jesus is not telling us, hey, right now, you've got to go and get that resolved. 00:16:58.879 --> 00:16:59.840 I don't believe so. 00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:03.679 Now, we have to forgive, and we're gonna get to that in the second half. 00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:16.400 But what Jesus is mainly talking about here is just that normal conflict, normal disagreements, normal drama that often takes place when we live our lives connected to other people. 00:17:16.559 --> 00:17:21.119 And how can we deal with that stuff quickly and get it resolved? 00:17:21.440 --> 00:17:23.119 That's what we're dealing with. 00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:26.160 So, with that said, on this first section, I want to give you four words. 00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:28.240 And I don't expect you to remember all four of these words. 00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:35.200 It's just as I was praying through this and processing this, these are the four words that jump to my mind as sort of a guide for how we can actually live this out. 00:17:35.279 --> 00:17:36.880 The first word is value. 00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:41.759 We are supposed to value reconciliation. 00:17:42.640 --> 00:17:50.079 We should care deeply about being reconciled with fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord that we have issues with. 00:17:51.359 --> 00:17:58.559 2 Corinthians chapter 5, verses 17 through 21 says that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. 00:17:58.640 --> 00:18:01.680 The old life is gone, and a new life has begun. 00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:07.119 And all of this is a gift from God who brought us back to himself through Christ. 00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:17.200 And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him, for God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them. 00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:23.759 And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation so that we are Christ's ambassadors, and God is making his appeal through us. 00:18:23.839 --> 00:18:26.559 We speak for Christ when we plead, come back to God. 00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:31.759 For God made Christ who never sinned to be the offering for our sins so that we could be made right with God through Christ. 00:18:31.920 --> 00:18:36.559 Okay, it's talking about all that Jesus has done to reconcile us to God. 00:18:36.799 --> 00:18:41.599 Reconciliation is the passion of Jesus, it's what he came to do. 00:18:53.839 --> 00:18:54.480 Think about that. 00:18:54.640 --> 00:19:00.559 The way that we love each other is supposed to be the proof to the world that Jesus is legit. 00:19:02.319 --> 00:19:22.559 And so if God has reconciled us to himself through Jesus and gone to all of these lengths and the sacrifice and the death of Jesus that we commemorate every single Sunday when we take Lord's Supper, if he went through all that so that we could be reconciled to God, what's it look like if we're not willing to do anything to be reconciled to other people? 00:19:23.519 --> 00:19:25.279 We have to value reconciliation. 00:19:25.359 --> 00:19:32.160 And I'm gonna say this I'll be the first to admit that I have not valued reconciliation nearly enough in my life. 00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:36.799 I got the wonderful joy of being deeply convicted all week long thinking about this message. 00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:46.960 I mean, honestly, I put way more effort into going after that dog Roxy when she ran out the door and bringing her back. 00:19:47.200 --> 00:19:58.160 I put way more effort into that than I have put into going after people whom I actually love and used to have a really close relationship with, but then something would happen. 00:19:58.400 --> 00:20:04.559 It's just much easier in those situations to be like, well, they're now a part of my past. 00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:06.960 It's easy to do that, right? 00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:18.240 When people leave, when people, when there's conflict, whatever, when people do people things, it's just easier to go, well, that's the end of that. 00:20:20.480 --> 00:20:27.680 Because to talk to them might be painful, it might be awkward, and it's just easier to live life avoiding awkwardness. 00:20:28.319 --> 00:20:28.799 It is. 00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:29.759 It's so easy. 00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:36.160 It's one of the biggest temptations we have in life is to live our lives and avoid every awkward situation that could possibly come up. 00:20:36.400 --> 00:20:39.279 I think awkwardness might be one of Satan's favorite things. 00:20:39.599 --> 00:20:44.000 Because we will let go of really important things just because it might be a little awkward. 00:20:44.480 --> 00:20:50.240 But what would it be like if I valued reconciliation anywhere close to the way that God does? 00:20:50.559 --> 00:21:00.480 How many relationships should I still have that I just let go because there was some drama and I'd rather not. 00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:02.880 I had to think through that all week. 00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:07.759 You know, scripture describes us as believers as the body of Christ. 00:21:08.559 --> 00:21:09.599 We're the body. 00:21:09.839 --> 00:21:13.359 And there's this illustration that Christ is the head and then we're all the body parts. 00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:20.079 And man, if you lost your hand and there was any way to get it back, would you just be like, ah, I don't know. 00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:22.079 I'll just live without this hand. 00:21:22.559 --> 00:21:28.480 No, like if there was any chance, if you lost a hand, that you could go and get it back, you would immediately go and do that. 00:21:28.559 --> 00:21:34.559 That's why if someone accidentally loses a finger or something and there's any chance that it can be put back on and saved, it's like get to the hospital now. 00:21:34.720 --> 00:21:39.599 And we should have the same sense of urgency when it comes to reconciling with other believers. 00:21:40.160 --> 00:21:41.839 Because if they're gone, that's what happened. 00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:43.680 We lost a part of the body. 00:21:45.680 --> 00:21:51.599 And we should be we should be filled with a sense of urgency and prioritization to get that person back. 00:21:51.759 --> 00:21:52.720 So, first, value. 00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:54.799 We have to value reconciliation. 00:21:54.960 --> 00:21:56.880 Number two, responsibility. 00:21:57.200 --> 00:21:58.559 This is the hard one. 00:21:58.880 --> 00:21:59.759 It puts the responsibility. 00:22:00.960 --> 00:22:04.480 Of seeking out reconciliation with the person who was wronged. 00:22:04.799 --> 00:22:07.599 Let's go back to Matthew 18, verse 15. 00:22:07.680 --> 00:22:14.240 If another believer sins against you, you go privately and point out the offense. 00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:15.440 That's tough. 00:22:15.680 --> 00:22:22.400 Like there's moments with Jesus where I want to say, hey, Jesus, I love you and follow you and believe you, and you probably know better. 00:22:22.720 --> 00:22:29.839 But have you considered that maybe since they're the one that did the thing wrong, they should come to me? 00:22:32.079 --> 00:22:41.200 How many times in your life have people come to you after some type of offense and said, hey, I've been thinking about it. 00:22:41.359 --> 00:22:43.200 What I did was wrong. 00:22:43.440 --> 00:22:44.720 I'm very sorry. 00:22:44.960 --> 00:22:45.920 Please forgive me. 00:22:46.079 --> 00:22:47.440 I'm sure it's happened, right? 00:22:47.519 --> 00:22:48.799 Like, has anyone ever had that experience? 00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:49.680 Like, that's happened. 00:22:49.920 --> 00:22:51.359 Does that happen a lot? 00:22:51.759 --> 00:22:52.960 Is that normal? 00:22:53.920 --> 00:22:56.880 It doesn't, because it's complicated. 00:22:57.279 --> 00:23:06.079 If we're gonna be honest with ourselves, when we have conflict, usually, and again, we're talking about that kind of normal human conflict, usually it's not completely one-sided. 00:23:06.319 --> 00:23:13.119 Like I was talking to a guy this morning, a good friend of mine, and where he works, he had to be involved in letting someone go. 00:23:13.519 --> 00:23:15.119 And that's really hard. 00:23:16.079 --> 00:23:20.000 And he used to be close to this guy, and now they're not, and this guy doesn't like him. 00:23:20.079 --> 00:23:29.680 He's a villain in this guy's story, and he's talking through it with me, and he's like, you know, I just sometimes I guess I gotta go and reach out to him, and I'm like, uh-uh, nope, he's gotta come to you. 00:23:29.839 --> 00:23:31.519 You know, I'm just joking, I didn't say that. 00:23:31.759 --> 00:23:34.079 But but no, it's complicated because here's the truth. 00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:35.119 I I know the situation. 00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:39.920 He and I had breakfast together several times, and he tried his best to fix things. 00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:45.920 Because, on one hand, this guy that he had to let go maybe has a reasonable reason to be upset. 00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:48.640 Like, hey, you fired me, and that was hard. 00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:55.039 But my friend could also say, hey, you should apologize to me because you put me in a position where I had to fire you. 00:23:55.200 --> 00:23:56.240 I didn't want to do that. 00:23:56.400 --> 00:24:02.400 You have no idea how long I thought through that and how much stress, how many hours of sleep I lost thinking through that. 00:24:02.480 --> 00:24:04.480 I didn't want to do that, but you made me do that. 00:24:04.559 --> 00:24:12.799 You put me in a really tough spot because you wouldn't respond to correction, and now I had to do that, and I'm mad at you for making me do that to you. 00:24:13.519 --> 00:24:14.880 It's complicated. 00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:15.839 That's my point. 00:24:15.920 --> 00:24:19.440 When we have conflict with people, usually it's not completely one-sided. 00:24:19.599 --> 00:24:27.920 And so when we feel wronged, if we sit around and wait for someone to come to us, chances are it's just not gonna happen. 00:24:28.640 --> 00:24:32.000 Even if it should, it's just probably not going to happen. 00:24:32.960 --> 00:24:36.559 Because that person, A, may think we're the one that did the wrong thing. 00:24:36.640 --> 00:24:39.440 They're waiting on us to come and say that we're sorry. 00:24:39.680 --> 00:24:43.839 Or B, and this is where it gets really tough, they may not even know that they did anything wrong. 00:24:44.079 --> 00:24:50.480 Have you ever had someone do something that really bothered you and they were completely oblivious? 00:24:50.720 --> 00:24:51.920 Let me ask you a different question. 00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:53.440 Have you ever been married? 00:24:53.680 --> 00:24:58.559 Like, like, what did I do? 00:24:59.119 --> 00:25:01.200 I feel like I've done pretty well today. 00:25:01.359 --> 00:25:06.559 I mean, no one bats a thousand, but like, it's so tough. 00:25:07.039 --> 00:25:10.640 Because sometimes the smallest things can bother us so deeply. 00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:16.720 When I was in high school, I had a good friend that played on the basketball team with me. 00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:25.599 And uh he's just like a super fit guy, and even though I was the starting point guard on our team, I've just never I've had like a dad bod since I was 17, you know? 00:25:25.839 --> 00:25:29.759 Like, I've been rocking the dad bod for 20 years, keeping it consistent. 00:25:29.920 --> 00:25:34.559 But I never had that like, you know, just built athletic kind of kind of thing. 00:25:34.720 --> 00:25:39.759 And so one day we did a weigh-in, we've been doing weight training and stuff, and I weighed less than him. 00:25:40.160 --> 00:25:42.640 And I'd actually been working out pretty hard, and I was like proud. 00:25:42.720 --> 00:25:45.759 And he weighed in and he went, huh, that's weird. 00:25:46.079 --> 00:25:47.039 And I was like, what do you mean? 00:25:47.119 --> 00:25:48.240 He's like, well, you weigh less than me. 00:25:48.319 --> 00:25:51.279 And then he goes, I guess muscle weighs more than fat. 00:25:53.200 --> 00:25:53.839 Right? 00:25:54.400 --> 00:25:55.519 And I was like, ah. 00:25:56.559 --> 00:26:00.559 I hated him at that point, hated his guts. 00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:04.720 Years later, years later, we reconnected. 00:26:05.279 --> 00:26:08.160 He was in even better shape than when we were in high school. 00:26:08.319 --> 00:26:11.680 Like apparently he had not stopped lifting weights since we left. 00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:12.880 I was mad about it. 00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:16.160 I was mad that he was in better shape than me. 00:26:16.480 --> 00:26:18.079 Years after that comment. 00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:28.240 And here's what stinks he's a good guy and he loves the Lord, and he's in ministry, he's a worship pastor, and he's good at it, and he seems genuine and nice and kind. 00:26:29.839 --> 00:26:30.960 It sucks. 00:26:34.160 --> 00:26:36.160 Because I still remember that. 00:26:37.599 --> 00:26:39.440 You know, I still remember that. 00:26:39.680 --> 00:26:48.160 I actually got to do a ministry thing with him not that long ago, and he was doing worship, and and uh actually my my wife was teaching at this thing that he was doing worship at, and they used to date in high school. 00:26:48.240 --> 00:26:48.799