WEBVTT 00:00:00.880 --> 00:00:05.839 So that's the point of this is we want to help parents raise kids that follow Jesus genuinely. 00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:08.080 And we recognize that it's hard. 00:00:11.599 --> 00:00:15.279 Hey everybody, and welcome to the podcast. 00:00:15.679 --> 00:00:16.399 This podcast. 00:00:16.559 --> 00:00:17.120 This podcast. 00:00:17.280 --> 00:00:18.079 This current podcast. 00:00:19.440 --> 00:00:20.719 The one you're listening to, I'm Madison. 00:00:20.960 --> 00:00:21.600 I'm Justin. 00:00:21.760 --> 00:00:31.280 And we thought it would be helpful to just address some of the questions that we get a lot and specifically about parenting and what it looks like to parent in this world. 00:00:31.760 --> 00:00:36.079 But beyond just parenting, like helping raise your kids to follow Jesus. 00:00:36.399 --> 00:00:38.079 Yeah, raising children to follow Jesus. 00:00:38.240 --> 00:00:41.600 I do have to say, real quick, that's probably the best intro to a podcast of all time. 00:00:41.920 --> 00:00:42.719 Welcome to the podcast. 00:00:42.960 --> 00:00:43.840 Welcome to the podcast. 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:53.600 The current, you know, just I like I think people will listen to this years from now and write just thesis papers about the best intro. 00:00:53.759 --> 00:00:57.840 Like they used to say the best intro to a movie ever was the original Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark. 00:00:58.000 --> 00:01:03.280 That was like one of the first movies that ever had the action so front-loaded, and they're like, this is gonna change the way movies are made. 00:01:03.359 --> 00:01:05.599 I think that intro will change the way the way intros are made. 00:01:05.840 --> 00:01:06.239 Intros are made. 00:01:06.319 --> 00:01:06.480 Yeah. 00:01:06.560 --> 00:01:08.560 So for some context, Madison and I are both parents. 00:01:09.519 --> 00:01:10.719 I have four children. 00:01:10.959 --> 00:01:15.120 13 currently is my my oldest, but they're gonna get older every year. 00:01:15.200 --> 00:01:16.480 And then all the way down to five. 00:01:16.560 --> 00:01:19.200 You've got two that are a three-year-old and a one-year-old. 00:01:19.599 --> 00:01:23.920 But even though your kids are younger, both of us have kind of a unique experience with students. 00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:25.280 And so we both work at a church. 00:01:25.359 --> 00:01:25.519 Yep. 00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:27.200 You were my youth pastor. 00:01:27.519 --> 00:01:28.640 I was your youth pastor. 00:01:28.719 --> 00:01:30.480 Now you're my child's youth pastor. 00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:35.439 Well, my oldest, because my youngest aren't Lily will be gonna be in two years. 00:01:35.680 --> 00:01:35.920 Okay, cool. 00:01:36.159 --> 00:01:36.719 You got two years. 00:01:36.879 --> 00:01:37.120 Okay. 00:01:37.200 --> 00:01:42.319 So I was your youth pastor for all of middle school and high school, and I spent about a decade working specifically with teenagers. 00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:49.040 This would have been like 2006, 2005, 2006, all the way up until like 2013. 00:01:49.599 --> 00:01:54.640 Um and then you've been a youth pastor now for like what six, seven years? 00:01:55.359 --> 00:02:00.319 And we work together at our church, and we end up having all these conversations because it all bleeds together. 00:02:00.480 --> 00:02:04.000 Like I'll be dealing with someone and they're going through a really hard thing, and oh guess what? 00:02:04.079 --> 00:02:06.799 They have kids who are going through a hard thing, and we end up talking about it. 00:02:06.879 --> 00:02:08.400 Um, or we just talk about culture. 00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:09.919 And I come to you even for advice now. 00:02:10.080 --> 00:02:15.199 It's so cool because I was your youth pastor, and now I'm like, hey man, this is what do you what do you think? 00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:15.680 Right. 00:02:15.919 --> 00:02:17.360 And I actually get a lot out of that. 00:02:17.599 --> 00:02:37.360 So um, yeah, we just thought that having a specific podcast that is focused on the challenges of parenting in a culture as a believer, the challenges of parenting in a culture that doesn't value what you value, um, and maybe even really tries hard to get your children to value something else. 00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:38.319 To value something else. 00:02:38.400 --> 00:02:41.120 And all the challenges and dynamics that that creates. 00:02:41.360 --> 00:02:42.800 Let's just jump into that. 00:02:43.120 --> 00:02:43.360 Right. 00:02:43.520 --> 00:02:50.400 And I I think to to say like we might not have the best parenting advice all the time because we're still processing what it means to be parents. 00:02:50.560 --> 00:02:53.280 Like you said, you come to me for advice as we're like parenting. 00:02:53.520 --> 00:02:58.639 But like you said, we do have so much, you know, pastoring experience shared between between us. 00:02:58.719 --> 00:03:00.800 And so we can at least say what we've seen not work. 00:03:01.039 --> 00:03:01.759 Right, right, right. 00:03:01.919 --> 00:03:05.599 Well, and we're just uh yeah, no, I uh we can process out loud a little bit. 00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:15.039 And I think a lot of parents they need help pastoring their kids or discipling their kids or raising their kids up to potentially know Jesus. 00:03:15.199 --> 00:03:15.360 Yeah. 00:03:15.599 --> 00:03:16.639 You know, you can't force it. 00:03:16.800 --> 00:03:18.000 No, you you you can't force it. 00:03:18.080 --> 00:03:22.960 It has to there if you have faith, you want one day for your children to have faith of their own. 00:03:23.439 --> 00:03:25.759 Um obviously that's what we would all we would all want. 00:03:25.840 --> 00:03:29.520 I don't know many Christian parents who are like, I kind of hope they don't believe in God one day. 00:03:29.759 --> 00:03:31.680 Just to, you know, have more variety in the house, right? 00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:32.639 Now we just have no debates. 00:03:32.719 --> 00:03:34.560 I'd like there to be more contentious Thanksgivings. 00:03:34.639 --> 00:03:34.879 Yeah. 00:03:35.039 --> 00:03:35.280 Right? 00:03:35.439 --> 00:03:36.240 That's not a thing. 00:03:36.400 --> 00:03:40.159 But but it's it there's not like a guidebook for it. 00:03:40.560 --> 00:03:45.599 Um I mean, there's there's the Bible, but even still, there's not like, well, now the chapter on parenting. 00:03:45.759 --> 00:03:47.039 There's there's stuff about parenting. 00:03:47.280 --> 00:03:47.919 It's addressed, yeah. 00:03:48.159 --> 00:03:49.360 It's addressed, absolutely. 00:03:49.439 --> 00:03:54.479 Um, but it's definitely not not in the way that a lot of people would like it to be. 00:03:54.639 --> 00:03:58.080 Like, where can I go for this long step-by-step process? 00:03:58.400 --> 00:04:04.719 If you had to sum it up, what would be the goal of a parent when it comes to the faith aspect of like raising kids? 00:04:04.800 --> 00:04:09.199 Aaron Powell Well, we talked about this a little bit ago, um, even as we were kind of getting ready for this. 00:04:09.439 --> 00:04:14.159 Joshua in the Bible says, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. 00:04:14.479 --> 00:04:16.560 Um, and the context of that, well, you know the context of it. 00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:23.279 Yeah, there's like a bunch of other gods, a bunch of other nations, and uh Israel at the time is kind of like wooed by those gods. 00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:25.759 Yeah, they're wavering in their in their commitment to the Lord. 00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:28.079 I'll go be a Canaanite, I'll go be this or that. 00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:30.639 And um their festivals are way more fun than right. 00:04:30.959 --> 00:04:32.319 We should see what happens at these. 00:04:32.399 --> 00:04:32.720 It's crazy. 00:04:32.959 --> 00:04:34.879 But they let me stay up way later over there. 00:04:35.199 --> 00:04:40.399 No, um, and so Joshua says, he says, uh, you can go serve those gods if you want to. 00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:42.800 Um, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. 00:04:42.959 --> 00:04:46.800 He kind of makes that stand not just for himself, but for his family as well. 00:04:47.120 --> 00:04:47.680 For his family. 00:04:47.839 --> 00:04:49.519 And that's even like a multi-generational thing. 00:04:49.600 --> 00:05:00.240 Like, as for me and my house, I mean, in those days, it wasn't just like the house I live in, like that phrase my house, you mean like the the house of Joshua and his kids and their kids, whatever. 00:05:00.480 --> 00:05:08.480 And so when you say like what's the goal, I think it's to live in such a way that your children see you take a stand for what you believe is right. 00:05:09.120 --> 00:05:16.560 And at the very least, they learn that my father or my mother have convictions that they can express. 00:05:17.040 --> 00:05:20.079 It's not just we're doing this because I said so. 00:05:20.319 --> 00:05:20.399 Right. 00:05:20.639 --> 00:05:22.720 Even though sometimes that's appropriate to say as parent. 00:05:23.120 --> 00:05:26.639 Um but no, I know what I believe and I know why I believe it. 00:05:26.720 --> 00:05:29.040 And here's the stand that I'm taking. 00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:33.920 And you, at the very least, as a child, I don't know if one of Joshua's kids went off and worshipped another God or not. 00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:34.160 Sure. 00:05:34.560 --> 00:05:44.480 Story is not in the Bible, but they at very least saw what it meant to have a parent who had conviction, who lived by those convictions and was willing to take a stand and say, this is how our family's going to live. 00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:45.120 Gotcha. 00:05:45.279 --> 00:05:46.639 So there's like the belief aspect. 00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:48.560 So like you're articulating your beliefs. 00:05:48.879 --> 00:05:55.120 Articulating your beliefs and living them out in the midst of pressure, outside pressure to go a different way. 00:05:55.759 --> 00:06:00.000 Because, you know, I mean, Joshua's culture is not that different than our own. 00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:03.040 Everyone's kind of there's all these other options. 00:06:03.199 --> 00:06:03.439 Right. 00:06:03.680 --> 00:06:05.360 And some of them are really attractive. 00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:09.199 And there's a lot of cultural momentum in the other direction. 00:06:09.439 --> 00:06:13.759 And Joshua's saying, you know what, no matter what everyone else does, this is what we're gonna do. 00:06:14.079 --> 00:06:14.319 Yeah. 00:06:14.399 --> 00:06:19.360 So yeah, being able to share that, but like you said, but also model it, like to live it out. 00:06:19.600 --> 00:06:27.279 And so I think for your kids, especially as they become teenagers, like that's the years that it's like you realize your your parents are people. 00:06:27.519 --> 00:06:27.839 Oh, yeah. 00:06:28.160 --> 00:06:31.920 And you can like take advantage of that and go like, man, I hate them because they're idiots. 00:06:32.160 --> 00:06:33.600 This hypocrisy and that hypocrisy. 00:06:33.839 --> 00:06:35.360 And it's a lot of it's true, right? 00:06:35.600 --> 00:06:44.480 And so to have a faith that's one, it's like felt on a personal level for you first, like it's like that Joshua was saying, as for me in my house, like starts with him. 00:06:44.639 --> 00:06:59.120 Um, but then to be able to like process that um almost like not out loud where you're processing everything you believe, you know, in front of your kids, but they're able to see you walk in authentic faith where you might not have everything figured out, right? 00:06:59.279 --> 00:07:04.800 Where you might be trying to figure out the boundary um that you're setting as you're setting it. 00:07:04.959 --> 00:07:10.959 And you might be able to say, like, one day this boundary is going to be removed, or one day this boundary might be added onto. 00:07:11.120 --> 00:07:17.600 Um, but for you to have that um like a house where your kids see you pray or you pray with your kids. 00:07:17.680 --> 00:07:18.000 Yeah. 00:07:18.079 --> 00:07:22.639 Um and I think too, the intentionality, like Joshua's living very intentionally there. 00:07:22.800 --> 00:07:23.040 Right. 00:07:23.199 --> 00:07:26.959 He's not just it's not where he just goes, oh, okay. 00:07:27.199 --> 00:07:29.519 You know, he just eventually goes, All right, guys, I mean fine. 00:07:29.920 --> 00:07:30.720 It seems like what everyone's doing. 00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:31.600 The relenting. 00:07:31.920 --> 00:07:32.480 A relenting. 00:07:32.560 --> 00:07:40.800 And it's very easy to live a life that is just a relenting life where you kind of go, okay, I guess I'll I guess I'll be okay with this because everyone says I should be. 00:07:40.879 --> 00:07:42.959 I guess I'll go this way, I guess I'll think this way. 00:07:43.120 --> 00:07:51.120 Um and the people I respect the most, even actually some of these are people that don't even agree with me a lot in a lot of different areas of life. 00:07:51.360 --> 00:08:01.839 But they're people who have strong convictions and beliefs and they're intentional about it, and it and they're not they're not just living at the mercy of the world around them, they're living intentional lives. 00:08:02.160 --> 00:08:02.959 So I think part of it's that. 00:08:03.040 --> 00:08:04.639 And I think so too, it's a little different. 00:08:04.720 --> 00:08:09.120 Like we're saying there's this word in church culture, discipleship. 00:08:09.279 --> 00:08:09.439 Yeah. 00:08:09.680 --> 00:08:12.480 And it's the it's a word that like it's very churchy word. 00:08:12.879 --> 00:08:13.839 Well, it's a Bible word. 00:08:14.079 --> 00:08:19.360 So disciple, but like the discipleship, like as like a program or something like that. 00:08:19.759 --> 00:08:28.079 But you read it, you read like uh if we had if we titled this discipling your children, there's certain there's certain like types of Jesus followers who'd be like all about it. 00:08:28.160 --> 00:08:33.279 Other people are like, I'm just not gonna listen to that because it's clearly just I don't know. 00:08:33.679 --> 00:08:38.480 But but I think part of it's because we don't even think about what that really means that much. 00:08:38.799 --> 00:08:46.720 And you've talked about the idea of something being is it something that we should it's like uh Christian, like Christianese. 00:08:47.039 --> 00:08:47.679 Christianese, yeah. 00:08:47.919 --> 00:08:52.639 Which is just using that's like the we all know those people who just speak this language that you can only speak if you grew up in church. 00:08:52.799 --> 00:08:52.879 Right. 00:08:53.039 --> 00:08:55.039 And the average person seems like, I don't know what you just said. 00:08:55.360 --> 00:08:58.879 Yeah, or is it a a word that's kind of required to understand our faith? 00:08:59.039 --> 00:09:02.159 Right salvation's a word that you really only hear in church. 00:09:02.399 --> 00:09:09.759 Like even when someone saves someone else, no one says, like, you are my salvation from saving me from that dog, right? 00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:13.679 That's only a church word, but it helps articulate what we believe about our faith. 00:09:13.840 --> 00:09:16.720 And so I think disciple is kind of one of those things. 00:09:16.879 --> 00:09:18.320 There's a lot packed into it. 00:09:18.399 --> 00:09:18.559 Right. 00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:23.759 It means following Jesus, it means disciplining yourself in the pursuit of Jesus, right? 00:09:23.919 --> 00:09:31.120 And so as you're discipling, which means raising up other disciples, which by the way, we're we're asked to by Jesus, right? 00:09:31.200 --> 00:09:34.799 Very simply, he like I said asked to, not called to, because that's the list churchy way to say ever. 00:09:35.279 --> 00:09:36.320 So we're told to. 00:09:36.480 --> 00:09:37.039 We're told to. 00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:39.600 Listen, but he said, like, go make disciples. 00:09:39.840 --> 00:09:48.399 And it's very easy to see that as an external thing, like go to your places of work, go on a mission trip, go out in the world and make disciples. 00:09:48.720 --> 00:09:53.840 But it even if we were to do that really well, but we don't make disciples at home, like that's a miss. 00:09:54.159 --> 00:09:58.080 Or we're not trying to we're not even thinking about it because we're like, oh well, they go to church or whatever. 00:09:58.159 --> 00:09:59.120 We want to be intentional about it. 00:09:59.200 --> 00:10:06.559 And I know for me, uh lately this I I think this actually came out just out of the blue in a conversation we were having last week. 00:10:06.799 --> 00:10:08.320 But I've never even expressed it this way. 00:10:08.480 --> 00:10:09.120 I really liked it though. 00:10:09.200 --> 00:10:10.000 I really liked what I said. 00:10:10.240 --> 00:10:11.039 Go ahead and say it again. 00:10:11.279 --> 00:10:11.600 Okay. 00:10:11.840 --> 00:10:15.519 Um well, I think like, okay, mentoring, that's a word that we have in culture. 00:10:15.600 --> 00:10:21.440 And mentoring is basically where you take someone and say, Hey, I want to help you be more like me in some ways. 00:10:21.600 --> 00:10:22.399 Like, I'm a mentor. 00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:26.399 I can show you how to be more like you can be successful like me, you can be fit like me. 00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:32.399 And a lot of mentoring isn't gonna be do what I do, and it's definitely so that you can be the best you you can be kind of thing, right? 00:10:32.480 --> 00:10:32.720 Right. 00:10:32.879 --> 00:10:34.879 But it's like be like me. 00:10:35.120 --> 00:10:36.799 It's couched in the expertise of the mentor. 00:10:37.039 --> 00:10:37.279 Correct. 00:10:37.360 --> 00:10:38.720 Discipleship's a little different. 00:10:38.960 --> 00:10:40.240 Sure, there's a follow me. 00:10:40.399 --> 00:10:43.759 Paul actually said follow me to people, but he said, follow me as I follow the Lord. 00:10:45.200 --> 00:10:48.080 Discipleship is I want my kids to be more like Jesus. 00:10:48.320 --> 00:10:50.720 In fact, I'd like them to look more like Jesus than they look like me. 00:10:50.799 --> 00:10:55.600 And I want to do my best Jesus impression on a daily basis so that they see that. 00:10:56.080 --> 00:11:07.360 But ultimately, even if it means I have to have the humility of saying, guys, this is where I really screw up as a dad all the time, and this is where I fall way short, and this is where I don't look like Jesus at all, and I'm working on it. 00:11:07.679 --> 00:11:14.480 I want them to know who Jesus is because of me, whether that is me modeling it for them really well or being honest about the times that I don't. 00:11:14.639 --> 00:11:14.720 Yeah. 00:11:15.039 --> 00:11:16.399 So that they like Jesus more than they like Jesus. 00:11:16.559 --> 00:11:18.320 I was gonna say, what a cool place to live. 00:11:18.480 --> 00:11:33.600 If you're your home, there's like a humility in your home where dad's not always right or doesn't always need to be right, or when dad's wrong, like it's not like he storms off and lives in a room by himself or whatever, to say, like, hey, would you forgive me because I got this wrong? 00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:45.200 Like asking for forgiveness, or um, if you're creating a home that's you know modeled after Jesus, where there's gonna be generosity, that there's gonna be mercy like in your punishments. 00:11:45.279 --> 00:11:49.840 Because I mean, discipline, like disciplining your kid is is an aspect of raising them up. 00:11:50.000 --> 00:12:06.879 And so if you have mercy in the way you discipline your kids, if you have grace in the moments where they need it, it's like that creates just such a healthier environment that regardless of whether that your faith becomes their faith, they grew up in an environment that was defined by the love of Jesus either way. 00:12:08.080 --> 00:12:09.679 Truth, which is really cool. 00:12:09.840 --> 00:12:10.240 I love it. 00:12:10.399 --> 00:12:15.120 So that's the point of this is we want to help parents raise kids that follow Jesus genuinely. 00:12:15.279 --> 00:12:16.879 And we recognize that it's hard. 00:12:17.039 --> 00:12:19.440 It's and it and it's maybe as hard as it's ever been. 00:12:19.600 --> 00:12:22.799 And I'm not trying to say that in this, like, it's never been, it's always been hard. 00:12:22.960 --> 00:12:23.120 Right. 00:12:23.279 --> 00:12:23.440 Right? 00:12:23.519 --> 00:12:25.600 Following Jesus in the first century would have been pretty tough. 00:12:25.679 --> 00:12:26.000 Yeah. 00:12:26.159 --> 00:12:28.159 Um, and it's it's hard, it's always been hard. 00:12:28.240 --> 00:12:32.960 But there are certain aspects I think a lot of parents deal with like, man, when I was a kid, I didn't have this to deal with. 00:12:33.600 --> 00:12:34.639 I hear that a lot. 00:12:34.799 --> 00:12:39.840 And so we talk about this all the time, we process it all the time together as we're trying to do it. 00:12:40.080 --> 00:12:46.000 You're trying to lead kids and eventually your kids too, because I know there's they're young enough that you can just pick them up and put them places. 00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:47.919 And I'm trying to lead my own kids now. 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:53.679 I'm not a youth pastor anymore, but I'm actually pastoring youth more hours of my day than I used to. 00:12:53.840 --> 00:12:54.159 Yeah. 00:12:54.399 --> 00:12:58.320 And so we just want to do it well personally, and hopefully these conversations can be helpful. 00:12:58.480 --> 00:13:02.240 So that's the point of this podcast, raising kids who follow Jesus. 00:13:02.320 --> 00:13:09.919 And we're gonna start in our next episode by talking about, well, really answering a question, which is should I get my kid a phone? 00:13:10.320 --> 00:13:10.639 Yep. 00:13:10.799 --> 00:13:11.679 So tune in next time. 00:13:12.080 --> 00:13:12.879 Tune in next time for that. 00:13:12.960 --> 00:13:20.320 That's probably a question that we hear the most often from parents that are feeling that that pressure. 00:13:20.480 --> 00:13:32.320 Um, and I recognize a lot of people like I've already done that, still listen, because it's good to maybe analyze why we did and and what problems it is creating and what problems maybe we think it's solving, and if that's really true. 00:13:32.559 --> 00:13:33.759 So there you go. 00:13:33.919 --> 00:13:34.960 Thanks for listening. 00:13:35.279 --> 00:13:35.679 Bye.