WEBVTT 00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:02.240 What you think about your life? 00:00:02.399 --> 00:00:04.240 And and and here's the question. 00:00:04.480 --> 00:00:10.000 Is there anything that you hate so much that you just you avoid it at all costs? 00:00:11.199 --> 00:00:13.839 There's a commercial on TV over the last few months. 00:00:14.080 --> 00:00:17.120 You may have seen it, but uh it's for uh one of the major insurance companies. 00:00:17.359 --> 00:00:22.000 And the way it works is this this woman yells up to her husband, hey honey, have you talked to the insurance company? 00:00:22.079 --> 00:00:39.359 Have you called the insurance company and he's folding laundry, and you can tell with his face that he doesn't want to call the insurance company, so he intentionally knocks it all over and says, like, no, I gotta fold the laundry, I can't do it, and then it cuts to her, and she's intentionally making a mess in their living room so she can clean it up, and she's saying, I've got to clean the living room, you're gonna have to do it, and then it just gets crazier. 00:00:39.439 --> 00:00:40.240 It escalates. 00:00:40.320 --> 00:00:46.560 It ends up with her uprooting their landscaping so she can say she has to do landscaping, and he's like in a tree shaking leaves down. 00:00:46.880 --> 00:00:53.600 The whole point being, neither of them want to do it, and they don't want to do it with such fervor that they'll do anything to get out of it. 00:00:54.079 --> 00:00:56.079 We probably all have something like that in our lives. 00:00:56.240 --> 00:00:58.560 For Megan and I, it's folding laundry. 00:00:58.799 --> 00:01:02.560 Not doing laundry, folding laundry that's already been done. 00:01:02.719 --> 00:01:04.079 We just we both we both hate that. 00:01:04.159 --> 00:01:04.959 I don't know why. 00:01:05.200 --> 00:01:06.319 We hate folding laundry. 00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:07.120 We'll do it all day long. 00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:18.799 We'll wash it, we'll dry it, and then when it's time to dry it, rather than sit there and sort it all out and fold it all up and then take it to where it goes, we just open up this guest bedroom that's right next to our laundry closet and we just like chuck it in there. 00:01:19.280 --> 00:01:22.640 It's all it's all clean, but it's just a big mess. 00:01:22.799 --> 00:01:26.959 In fact, as the week goes on, we we start referring to it as Laundry Mountain. 00:01:27.359 --> 00:01:29.680 Because it becomes this literal mountain of laundry. 00:01:29.760 --> 00:01:33.439 We have three kids, and so there's a lot of laundry that's going through there every single week. 00:01:33.599 --> 00:01:43.120 And when it comes time for us to clean the house and to be in that mode, each of us will do anything, anything to not be the one that has to tackle Laundry Mountain. 00:01:43.280 --> 00:01:52.959 I mean, I'll do the dishes, I'll pay the bills, I'll go grocery shopping, I'll I'll call the insurance company, I'll do anything so that I don't have to do Laundry Mountain because we just we hate it so much. 00:01:53.200 --> 00:01:55.280 We avoid it at all costs. 00:01:56.079 --> 00:02:03.120 This last few weeks we've been talking about happiness, how we can have real, lasting happiness, something the Bible describes as the joy of the Lord. 00:02:03.280 --> 00:02:08.560 In Nehemiah 8.10, the Bible says, Don't be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. 00:02:08.719 --> 00:02:15.439 In other words, you are meant by God to have a happiness that is so complete, it is the same as strength for your life. 00:02:16.800 --> 00:02:24.319 And we've been looking over the last few weeks at how we have to overcome some obstacles in our lives if we want that joy. 00:02:24.560 --> 00:02:33.039 There are some attitudes, there are some ways of thinking, there are some common behaviors that is just the normal way we live that get in the way of us having the joy of the Lord. 00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:38.000 And if we want that, we've got to find a way over or around or through those obstacles. 00:02:39.120 --> 00:02:43.439 Today we're gonna tackle an obstacle that actually doesn't seem like an obstacle at all at first glance. 00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:49.280 In fact, it seems like a great solution to having more happiness in our lives. 00:02:49.520 --> 00:02:50.719 But it's not. 00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:52.639 It's sneaky that way. 00:02:53.039 --> 00:02:57.280 Today we're gonna talk about the concept of avoiding unhappiness. 00:02:58.159 --> 00:03:01.919 See, it makes sense that if we avoid unhappiness, we'll be more happy. 00:03:02.240 --> 00:03:02.479 Right? 00:03:03.120 --> 00:03:08.639 If you avoid unhappiness, surely you will have more happiness in your life. 00:03:09.280 --> 00:03:11.759 I mean, it really does make sense. 00:03:13.120 --> 00:03:21.919 But see, what ends up happening so often is that our pursuit of happiness actually stops being the pursuit of happiness and it just becomes the avoidance of unhappiness. 00:03:22.240 --> 00:03:38.080 And we start to believe that real happiness is something that we have when unhappiness is absent from our lives, when we avoid it, and what we forget is that real happiness is not the result of unhappiness being avoided, it's actually the result of unhappiness being confronted and defeated. 00:03:39.280 --> 00:03:48.560 And if we if we live our lives just avoiding whatever it is that makes us unhappy, what we actually do is we create a void of real happiness in our lives. 00:03:49.840 --> 00:03:57.680 Because real happiness is not the result of avoiding unhappiness, it's the result of conquering unhappiness. 00:03:58.719 --> 00:04:02.560 But see, we're all really good at avoiding the things that we don't want to deal with. 00:04:02.719 --> 00:04:03.360 We're so good at that. 00:04:03.439 --> 00:04:06.319 Some of us in the room, we are we are I'm fine people. 00:04:06.639 --> 00:04:07.599 Like you know who you are. 00:04:07.680 --> 00:04:10.719 You're that person that if someone asks you, hey, how are you, you say, I'm fine. 00:04:10.960 --> 00:04:11.439 I'm fine. 00:04:11.520 --> 00:04:19.279 In fact, if if you have someone that's really close to you, they might know something isn't fine, they can tell, they they know you really well, and you just tell them over and over again, I'm fine. 00:04:19.360 --> 00:04:21.920 And eventually the I'm finds become like threats. 00:04:22.240 --> 00:04:27.279 You're saying I'm fine, but what you're really saying is, please stop asking me that question, stop it, or you're gonna be sorry. 00:04:27.439 --> 00:04:29.120 So they say, Hey, are you sure are you okay? 00:04:29.199 --> 00:04:31.439 And you look at them and you say, I'm fine. 00:04:31.759 --> 00:04:33.040 I am fine. 00:04:33.279 --> 00:04:33.600 Okay? 00:04:34.079 --> 00:04:35.360 I'm fine. 00:04:36.160 --> 00:04:39.759 I'm not an I'm fine person, I'm a it's not a big deal person. 00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:43.600 That's what I do when I don't want to handle or deal with something that's upsetting me. 00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:45.439 I'll just say, it's not a big deal, it's no big deal. 00:04:45.519 --> 00:04:47.279 Like this happened to me today, it's not a big deal. 00:04:47.360 --> 00:04:49.600 I'm I'm over it, I'm done with it, no big deal. 00:04:49.680 --> 00:04:51.279 But it really is a big deal. 00:04:51.519 --> 00:04:54.800 If it wasn't a big deal, I wouldn't keep saying it's not a big deal. 00:04:55.120 --> 00:05:00.879 I just try to get out of handling it, dealing with it, thinking about it by trying to excuse it away as no big deal, no biggie. 00:05:01.040 --> 00:05:02.000 I'll just, you know, whatever. 00:05:02.079 --> 00:05:03.279 I'm over it, I'm done. 00:05:04.879 --> 00:05:08.879 We're really good at avoiding having to deal with our unhappiness. 00:05:08.959 --> 00:05:18.720 And even when we get to the point where we decide to deal with it, so often the approach that we take, the approach, by the way, that this world recommends, is to just numb the feeling of unhappiness that we have. 00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:24.000 I was online a few weeks ago and was looking at this video. 00:05:24.240 --> 00:05:25.040 It caught my eye. 00:05:25.120 --> 00:05:25.920 It's it's a TED talk. 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:27.759 You might be familiar with what TED Talks are, maybe not. 00:05:27.839 --> 00:05:28.639 They're really interesting. 00:05:28.800 --> 00:05:37.040 And so I'm looking at these TED talks, these little short videos of people from all different walks of life just teaching you lessons, things that they've learned, a lot of really interesting perspectives. 00:05:37.279 --> 00:05:40.560 And I was really drawn to this one by a woman named Brene Brown. 00:05:40.720 --> 00:05:47.120 She's a researcher, she's a very good public speaker, and I was drawn to it because the title of her talk was vulnerability. 00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:52.079 And if if you're kind of new here, we really value vulnerability as a church. 00:05:52.319 --> 00:05:56.879 Which is sort of strange because very few people value vulnerability at all. 00:05:57.360 --> 00:05:59.199 Especially not in the church. 00:05:59.360 --> 00:06:10.160 Like, vulnerability is not highly valued in the church as a whole, but we're passionate about it because just like Nathan said, this is not a concert, this is not a show, this is not a production, because Jesus is not a product. 00:06:10.399 --> 00:06:16.720 And so we don't put a lot of time and energy into making it flashy and making it perfect. 00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:20.000 Instead, we want we want to make sure this is real. 00:06:20.079 --> 00:06:22.160 This has this has to be authentic, if anything. 00:06:22.240 --> 00:06:24.560 It has to be honest and open. 00:06:24.879 --> 00:06:28.560 And you can't really be honest and open and real and authentic if you're not vulnerable. 00:06:28.639 --> 00:06:31.360 And so we really value vulnerability. 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:36.560 And so I'm I'm looking online, I see this talk about vulnerability, I'm like, ooh, that's that's right up my alley. 00:06:36.639 --> 00:06:37.279 I want to watch this. 00:06:37.360 --> 00:06:38.319 And it was really interesting. 00:06:38.399 --> 00:06:40.959 She's talking about us as Americans. 00:06:41.839 --> 00:06:49.680 And how we are so ill-equipped by by our culture to actually handle the things that frustrate us that all we end up doing is numbing ourselves. 00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:51.040 And there's plenty of ways to do that, right? 00:06:51.120 --> 00:06:56.079 We can we can buy something shiny and new to take our mind off of whatever it is we don't want to deal with. 00:06:56.240 --> 00:06:59.360 We can we can take a pill, we can we can really do about anything. 00:06:59.519 --> 00:07:05.519 We'll buy anything, swallow anything that helps us avoid unhappiness, that helps us numb unhappiness. 00:07:05.759 --> 00:07:09.040 As I'm listening to this quote, she has a or this this video, a few quotes jump out. 00:07:09.120 --> 00:07:10.240 They kind of hit me between the eyes. 00:07:10.319 --> 00:07:14.000 Number one, she said this, and this was this was pretty big. 00:07:14.560 --> 00:07:19.600 We are the most in-depth, obese, addicted, and medicated adult cohort in US history. 00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:21.360 I was like, ugh. 00:07:21.600 --> 00:07:22.959 That's a downer. 00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:25.839 Can we please, can we please pick it up? 00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:28.240 And later on, she said this, and I thought this was so good. 00:07:28.399 --> 00:07:30.959 We cannot selectively numb emotions. 00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:36.000 When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions. 00:07:36.240 --> 00:07:39.279 In other words, numbing doesn't work. 00:07:39.680 --> 00:07:42.000 Avoidance doesn't work. 00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:45.279 Avoidance is never the solution to a problem. 00:07:45.439 --> 00:07:47.920 I haven't been to the dentist in 12 years. 00:07:48.399 --> 00:07:49.279 I mean, think about that. 00:07:49.439 --> 00:07:49.839 12 years. 00:07:49.920 --> 00:07:53.120 I got my wisdom teeth taken out right before I got married. 00:07:53.439 --> 00:07:57.120 21 years old, like a week before I got married because I was still on my parents' insurance. 00:07:57.279 --> 00:07:58.160 I just haven't been. 00:07:58.399 --> 00:08:01.600 It's not that I've I've like made it my goal in life not to go to the dentist. 00:08:01.680 --> 00:08:02.720 I believe in dentists. 00:08:02.800 --> 00:08:04.560 I think they're real, I think what they do is valid. 00:08:04.720 --> 00:08:06.560 If you are a dentist, good for you. 00:08:06.959 --> 00:08:07.600 Way to go. 00:08:07.759 --> 00:08:10.240 How you look at people's teeth all day long, I don't know. 00:08:10.399 --> 00:08:11.839 I don't know how you do it. 00:08:12.879 --> 00:08:20.800 But I haven't been, and I need to, and I just I know when I go, I know when I go, and I haven't been in 12 years, and I open up my mouth, like that's just gonna be a very humbling moment. 00:08:20.879 --> 00:08:21.439 It's gonna happen. 00:08:21.519 --> 00:08:23.279 I'm gonna go sometime in the next one to five years. 00:08:23.360 --> 00:08:24.160 I know I am. 00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:27.439 And so, because something's probably gonna hurt. 00:08:27.600 --> 00:08:31.040 And they're not gonna look at me and go, Well done, sir. 00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:38.879 By completely avoiding the care of your dental hygiene, you have actually you have the healthiest teeth we've ever seen. 00:08:38.960 --> 00:08:44.879 No, I I I part of why I don't want to go is because I know, I know that I'm gonna get bad news. 00:08:44.960 --> 00:08:45.600 I just know that. 00:08:46.480 --> 00:08:48.000 And maybe if I have enough faith, I won't. 00:08:48.080 --> 00:08:48.480 We'll see. 00:08:48.720 --> 00:08:51.039 But but I'm avoiding that conversation. 00:08:51.120 --> 00:08:52.960 Like, avoidance doesn't work. 00:08:53.360 --> 00:08:57.519 I cannot go to the dentist for another 12 years, it's not gonna do anything to my teeth, right? 00:08:57.679 --> 00:08:59.759 Avoidance doesn't work. 00:09:01.840 --> 00:09:07.759 And so often, the solution that Jesus gives us to life is the exact opposite solution that the world gives. 00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:10.000 He is always counterintuitive. 00:09:11.360 --> 00:09:15.679 And so, what if we took a completely counterintuitive approach to dealing with unhappiness? 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:22.159 What if what if instead of avoiding unhappiness, what if we became people who made it our passion to unavoid unhappiness? 00:09:22.240 --> 00:09:24.320 And I know that unavoid is not technically a word. 00:09:24.399 --> 00:09:29.039 If you're a grammar person, I know that unavoidable is, unavoid isn't, but it I like alliteration. 00:09:29.120 --> 00:09:40.559 Okay, so what if we made it our goal in life to say, look, I will not be a person who avoids unhappiness, I will actually be a person who goes out of my way to unavoid the unhappiness in my life. 00:09:41.679 --> 00:09:52.559 Because I believe that real happiness is not the result of a lack of unhappiness, it's the result of conquering and overcoming the unhappiness that I have. 00:09:54.240 --> 00:10:06.240 See, I believe if we lived like that, if that was our attitude, if that was the state of our heart when it came to dealing with those hard things in life that we often don't want to deal with, we would experience a joy that few people on earth ever experience. 00:10:07.840 --> 00:10:08.559 Give you an example. 00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:10.399 Last week we talked about David. 00:10:10.559 --> 00:10:12.559 And David's a very famous person from the Bible. 00:10:12.639 --> 00:10:15.120 He's he's talked about a lot, he did a lot of big things. 00:10:15.360 --> 00:10:19.840 One of the things that David did that still echoes throughout history is he wrote the book of Psalms for the most part. 00:10:19.919 --> 00:10:23.840 Other people contributed parts of it, but David wrote most of the Psalms. 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:29.759 If we've ever tried to read the book of Psalms, it's kind of a tough read because it's not meant to be read like a book. 00:10:30.399 --> 00:10:32.879 It's not really a book, it's a collection of songs. 00:10:33.039 --> 00:10:34.639 That's actually what the word psalm means. 00:10:34.720 --> 00:10:35.519 It means song. 00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:36.879 So it's the book of songs. 00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:40.159 David was a songwriter, and he was a fantastic songwriter. 00:10:40.240 --> 00:10:51.679 In fact, so many of the worship songs we sing today have tidbits of the psalms in them because David just had a way of communicating who God is and how life with God looks that we still can't really improve on it today. 00:10:52.639 --> 00:10:53.919 He's a brilliant songwriter. 00:10:54.000 --> 00:11:00.000 And like any good songwriter, some of his lyrics, they're happy, some of them are sad. 00:11:00.159 --> 00:11:01.360 They're not one note. 00:11:02.399 --> 00:11:09.759 That's I think sometimes while we get kind of tired of forced, cheesy like Christian stuff, right? 00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:15.200 Whether it's music or or you know, TV, whatever, it's just it's happy, but it's not really happy. 00:11:15.279 --> 00:11:17.039 It's like children's television happy. 00:11:17.279 --> 00:11:18.720 It's like that's that's not real. 00:11:18.799 --> 00:11:20.720 That smile on your face, it's not real. 00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:24.639 Because you're not, there's no way your emotions are that one level all the time. 00:11:24.879 --> 00:11:25.200 Right? 00:11:25.279 --> 00:11:27.039 We we see that, we know it's not not real. 00:11:27.279 --> 00:11:28.399 David was real. 00:11:29.759 --> 00:11:33.679 David wrote some, he wrote some depressing stuff that we have recorded in the Bible. 00:11:33.759 --> 00:11:37.120 For example, this is a lyric from a song that David wrote. 00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:40.720 Oh Lord, how long will you forget me? 00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:41.840 Forever? 00:11:42.159 --> 00:11:44.000 How long will you look the other way? 00:11:44.159 --> 00:11:49.039 How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? 00:11:49.200 --> 00:11:52.320 How long will my enemy have the upper hand? 00:11:52.879 --> 00:11:55.759 David was kind of a whiner, if you if you read much of the Psalms. 00:11:55.840 --> 00:11:56.559 He just was. 00:11:56.799 --> 00:11:59.039 Okay, here's here's a totally different lyric. 00:11:59.360 --> 00:12:01.600 My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? 00:12:01.759 --> 00:12:03.919 Why are you so far away when I groan for help? 00:12:04.080 --> 00:12:06.879 Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer. 00:12:07.039 --> 00:12:10.879 Every day I lift my voice, but I find no relief. 00:12:12.639 --> 00:12:16.559 If you're like, wow, I woke up on a Sunday morning to come here and think about this. 00:12:16.639 --> 00:12:18.559 This is this is depressing, right? 00:12:18.879 --> 00:12:20.720 Let's let's read something a little bit more uplifting. 00:12:20.799 --> 00:12:22.159 Here's some here's some more lyrics he wrote. 00:12:22.320 --> 00:12:23.519 This picks it up a little bit. 00:12:23.759 --> 00:12:25.679 I will sing to the Lord because he's good for me. 00:12:25.840 --> 00:12:26.559 There we go. 00:12:26.799 --> 00:12:28.240 That's more like it, right? 00:12:28.399 --> 00:12:30.399 That's happy, that's joyful, this is good. 00:12:30.559 --> 00:12:31.360 Here's another one. 00:12:31.600 --> 00:12:37.200 All who seek the Lord will praise him, their hearts will rejoice with everlasting joy. 00:12:38.799 --> 00:12:45.039 What's really interesting is if you look at those first two sets of lyrics, you would think that those go together. 00:12:45.279 --> 00:12:49.039 You could see those first two unhappy lyrics belonging in the same song. 00:12:49.279 --> 00:12:50.240 You'd believe that. 00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:52.799 You'd hear those together, you'd go, yeah, that's a sad song. 00:12:52.960 --> 00:12:55.519 That's a sad, depressing song, but at least it's consistent. 00:12:55.679 --> 00:12:59.840 The second set of lyrics, the happy lyrics, you would see those in the same song and believe that as well. 00:12:59.919 --> 00:13:00.879 Hey, this is a happy song. 00:13:00.960 --> 00:13:02.480 This is a song about praising God. 00:13:02.559 --> 00:13:03.039 This is good. 00:13:03.440 --> 00:13:04.960 These belong together. 00:13:05.440 --> 00:13:09.120 What's really interesting is that those sets of lyrics do belong together. 00:13:09.200 --> 00:13:13.120 They are from the same songs, but they're not paired in the way we might think. 00:13:13.200 --> 00:13:16.399 It's not that the first two go together and the second two go together. 00:13:17.039 --> 00:13:20.720 The first unhappy lyric goes with the first happy one. 00:13:20.960 --> 00:13:24.399 The second unhappy lyric goes with the second happy one. 00:13:25.200 --> 00:13:29.279 In fact, we can look at one of them all together, Psalm 13, because it's really short. 00:13:29.519 --> 00:13:30.799 Here's what Psalm 13. 00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:33.679 Psalm 13 says, O Lord, how long will you forget me? 00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:34.080 Forever? 00:13:34.240 --> 00:13:36.320 How long will you look the other way? 00:13:36.639 --> 00:13:41.039 How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? 00:13:41.200 --> 00:13:43.679 How long will my enemy have the upper hand? 00:13:43.919 --> 00:13:45.759 Turn and answer me, O Lord my God. 00:13:45.919 --> 00:13:49.519 Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die. 00:13:50.159 --> 00:13:52.559 He's like a teenager when he wrote this or something. 00:13:52.639 --> 00:13:54.159 It's very melodramatic. 00:13:55.120 --> 00:13:57.679 Don't let my enemies gloat, saying, We have defeated him. 00:13:57.840 --> 00:14:01.120 Don't let them rejoice at my downfall, but I trust in your unfailing love. 00:14:01.279 --> 00:14:03.200 I will rejoice because you have rescued me. 00:14:03.360 --> 00:14:05.919 I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me. 00:14:07.840 --> 00:14:09.600 Takes an interesting turn. 00:14:10.159 --> 00:14:15.039 You read the first two-thirds of that, and you're like, man, this is he's really in a bad spot. 00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:16.960 He's depressed. 00:14:17.279 --> 00:14:18.720 And he probably was. 00:14:19.600 --> 00:14:21.840 And then you get to the end, and it's like, whoa, where'd this come from? 00:14:21.919 --> 00:14:22.960 Where's all this joy? 00:14:23.200 --> 00:14:28.320 All of a sudden he's saying, I will sing of your praises, and you're amazing, and you're good to me. 00:14:28.559 --> 00:14:30.879 First, he's saying, You never listen to me. 00:14:31.519 --> 00:14:36.480 He's basically accusing God, saying, You've failed me, and now he's singing, I will I will sing your praises because you're good to me. 00:14:36.559 --> 00:14:37.360 Like, what's going on? 00:14:37.519 --> 00:14:42.960 And here's what's going on David is bringing his junk to God. 00:14:44.159 --> 00:14:47.840 And he's being honest and open and vulnerable. 00:14:48.080 --> 00:14:55.679 He's not avoiding his issues, he's not avoiding his unhappiness, he's taking it to God, and he's giving it to God, and God is transforming it into joy. 00:14:56.000 --> 00:14:59.519 God is conquering David's unhappiness. 00:15:01.919 --> 00:15:04.799 Jesus said this in Matthew chapter 5, verse 4. 00:15:05.039 --> 00:15:08.720 God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 00:15:10.559 --> 00:15:14.559 See, if you mourn, you'll be comforted by God, but if you don't mourn, how can you be comforted? 00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:28.799 If you don't take your unhappiness, your anger and your fear and your sorrow and your heartache and your bitterness and your frustration, your tragedy, your confusion. 00:15:28.960 --> 00:15:31.919 If you don't take that stuff to God, what's God gonna do with it? 00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:35.679 If you don't give it to God, how can God take it and do what he promises to do? 00:15:35.759 --> 00:15:37.840 How can he take it and turn ashes into beauty? 00:15:37.919 --> 00:15:43.440 How can he take it and transform it into something that is good, into something that's beautiful for your life? 00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:49.440 God asks us to give everything to him. 00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:58.320 If we avoid our unhappiness, we can never conquer it. 00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:00.720 Because you can't conquer what you won't engage. 00:16:02.879 --> 00:16:06.240 You can't cope with what you don't acknowledge. 00:16:07.919 --> 00:16:17.519 And when we live when we live life just avoiding unhappiness, well, all we do is we create a void of happiness in our lives because real happiness is happiness that is one. 00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:20.320 It's the way Jesus lived, by the way. 00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:22.159 It's the beauty of Jesus. 00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:26.159 We always have to remember that Jesus is God, that's important. 00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:32.399 But he's God who became man, he's God who lived life as one of us. 00:16:32.720 --> 00:16:47.279 That's what makes the concept of Jesus so completely different than any other concept of God that's ever existed, because every other concept of God has God on some high mountain, looking down on people saying, Hey, get up to where I am, figure it out, do better, do more. 00:16:47.679 --> 00:16:51.919 And maybe, just maybe, you can climb the mountaintop and be with me, but but that's not who Jesus is. 00:16:52.080 --> 00:17:00.000 Jesus left the mountain, came down to the valley, grabbed a hold of us, and carries us to where we belong, to where God wants us. 00:17:00.240 --> 00:17:01.919 Jesus lived life. 00:17:02.159 --> 00:17:03.919 And he didn't skip the hard parts. 00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:13.440 He didn't avoid pain, he didn't avoid sorrow, he didn't avoid tragedy, he didn't avoid the hard parts of life, having to work a job, death. 00:17:13.599 --> 00:17:17.119 He he handled all of those, avoiding nothing. 00:17:18.240 --> 00:17:23.839 In fact, we have moments in Jesus' life where we see him experiencing real sorrow, real grief. 00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:27.359 In situations he could have completely avoided. 00:17:28.640 --> 00:17:36.480 You ever had a situation in life that you look back on and you realize that the stress and the pain and the frustration was completely avoidable had you made just a few different choices. 00:17:36.880 --> 00:17:39.920 When I was in college, Megan and I were in a long-distance relationship. 00:17:40.079 --> 00:17:41.599 She was here in Georgia, she's a southern girl. 00:17:41.680 --> 00:17:47.200 I was up in Missouri, and for a year, we only got to see each other for like one weekend every three months. 00:17:47.440 --> 00:17:48.160 It was kind of tough. 00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:49.599 We had been high school sweethearts down here. 00:17:49.680 --> 00:17:58.319 I went away to college, and so we kept the relationship going, but I remember at this one point, she was flying to Kansas City to see me, and I hadn't seen her for three months, and I was so excited. 00:17:58.559 --> 00:18:04.079 This is before Facebook, like we literally had not seen each other's faces in three months. 00:18:04.400 --> 00:18:06.559 And so I'm pumped, and I remember doing some odd things. 00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:08.960 Like, I bought a leather jacket, I remember that. 00:18:09.200 --> 00:18:10.559 I don't know why. 00:18:10.799 --> 00:18:13.279 I'm like, ooh, I need to I have a cool jacket, you know. 00:18:13.359 --> 00:18:14.559 She's she hasn't seen me in three months. 00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:15.359 She's like, ooh, wow. 00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:16.799 I don't know if I'd been watching Greece or something. 00:18:16.880 --> 00:18:19.839 I just thought leather jacket, chicks like that. 00:18:19.920 --> 00:18:20.240 I don't know. 00:18:20.319 --> 00:18:23.599 So I bought a leather jacket and I got a haircut at Walmart because it was cheap. 00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:27.119 Sometimes you get what you pay for. 00:18:27.359 --> 00:18:32.480 And I had this really weird-looking haircut, we're super self-conscious about it. 00:18:32.559 --> 00:18:36.079 I was just hoping that the leather jacket would like take the attention away. 00:18:36.640 --> 00:18:38.160 I was so excited to see Megan. 00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:43.920 I remember going to pick her up from the airport, and I had cleaned out my car, which, if you know me, I cleaned my car. 00:18:44.000 --> 00:18:46.400 That's like a that's a minor miracle, okay? 00:18:46.559 --> 00:18:49.039 I cleaned it out, I vacuumed the car, I got all the trash out of it. 00:18:49.119 --> 00:18:49.839 I go to pick her up. 00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:54.559 I'm in the parking lot of my dorm, which is about a hundred yards away from where I lived. 00:18:54.640 --> 00:18:56.880 I had to walk to this parking lot, get my car. 00:18:57.200 --> 00:19:02.640 Car's perfect, except for this one bottle of IBC root beer that was in my car. 00:19:02.720 --> 00:19:05.839 Now, some of you are thinking, sure, it was a bottle of IBC root beer. 00:19:05.920 --> 00:19:06.720 It really was, okay? 00:19:06.799 --> 00:19:07.440 Don't judge. 00:19:07.599 --> 00:19:12.480 So it was a bottle of IBC root beer, and it was just, it was like the one piece of trash in my car. 00:19:12.559 --> 00:19:15.519 So I looked at it and I said, Oh man, I gotta get rid of this. 00:19:15.680 --> 00:19:16.480 What do I do? 00:19:16.720 --> 00:19:18.720 It was cold, it's in Kansas City. 00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:20.240 I got my leather jacket on, right? 00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:21.119 That's why it's cold. 00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:27.279 So I'm going, oh, I don't want to walk all the way back to my dorm and throw it away at the trash can there, and I don't want this in my car. 00:19:27.440 --> 00:19:29.359 And I just had a moment where I was like, you know what? 00:19:29.519 --> 00:19:31.680 The parking lot's already kind of trashed. 00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:36.079 And I just I just grabbed it and I dropped it out my window. 00:19:36.319 --> 00:19:38.079 And then I backed my car up. 00:19:38.400 --> 00:19:45.920 And I guess what must have happened, I guess that the bottle hit and then rolled behind my car. 00:19:46.079 --> 00:19:48.160 I'm trying to put this in, you know, figure out how this happened. 00:19:48.240 --> 00:19:58.559 And I back over it in such a way that it breaks the bottle, but it breaks the bottle so that the the top of the bottle shoves into my back tire and gives me a flat tire. 00:19:59.279 --> 00:20:09.039 And so I'm sitting in this parking lot having to go pick up Megan in just a few minutes, and I have a flat tire, and the flat tire was caused by the bottle that I just dropped out of the window. 00:20:09.200 --> 00:20:13.759 Like I I just gave I could have walked up to my car and slashed my own tires, and it would have been no different. 00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:15.599 Like, no different. 00:20:16.000 --> 00:20:24.400 And I had to quickly change and put a spare on, but I didn't think the spare would get to the airport, so I had to drive to the closest place that would patch my tire, which just so happened to be the same Walmart that gave me the bad hair. 00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:26.160 Just how God works things out. 00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:32.880 And I went there, I was a little late to the airport, but this whole mess, this whole mess, completely avoidable. 00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:43.839 When we see Jesus in the Bible dealing with pain, dealing with sadness, dealing with heartache, we need to understand that all of it for him was completely avoidable. 00:20:44.079 --> 00:20:46.480 Because he is God and he can do whatever he wants. 00:20:48.240 --> 00:20:53.759 When I was a kid, I remember being very, very fascinated by this one verse in John chapter 11. 00:20:53.839 --> 00:20:58.960 It's the shortest verse we have in English in the New Testament, and it just simply says this. 00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:00.480 I don't even know why I'm looking it up. 00:21:00.640 --> 00:21:01.680 Jesus wept. 00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:04.240 Just wanted to make sure. 00:21:05.039 --> 00:21:06.480 Jesus wept. 00:21:07.759 --> 00:21:09.920 I love how little of the screen that fills up. 00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:11.279 That is awesome. 00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:13.680 In other words, God cried. 00:21:14.240 --> 00:21:18.000 Really crazy concept, by the way, to the people that this was written to. 00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:20.960 When John wrote his letter, it was written to the Greeks. 00:21:21.039 --> 00:21:23.839 And the Greeks did not believe that God could express emotion. 00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:27.039 Because in their eyes, emotion was a sign of human weakness. 00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:34.400 And so if you could move God to tears or to anger or even to joy, that would show that you have some kind of power over God. 00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:39.039 And in their concept of God, there's no way God could express emotion. 00:21:39.359 --> 00:21:40.880 God is unmovable. 00:21:42.880 --> 00:21:45.519 Here we have Jesus, God Himself, and He's crying. 00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:46.960 He's not faking it. 00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:50.559 He's not mustering tears because it's it's appropriate for the situation. 00:21:50.640 --> 00:21:59.039 You may have found yourself in a situation where people are crying and you're not, and you feel like something's wrong with you because you're not having the same emotion as everyone else, you just have to like act sadder than you are. 00:21:59.200 --> 00:22:00.640 That's not what's Happening here. 00:22:00.720 --> 00:22:03.440 Jesus is overwhelmed with grief. 00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:05.039 And it wasn't the only time he cried. 00:22:05.119 --> 00:22:09.839 In fact, in Isaiah chapter 53, the Bible is prophesying about who Jesus will be. 00:22:10.240 --> 00:22:18.480 And it says this He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering and familiar with pain. 00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:22.319 Other translations say that he was well acquainted with grief. 00:22:24.400 --> 00:22:27.440 Jesus never avoided the hard stuff. 00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:34.960 This particular story where we get the Jesus wept verse from it, it happened because his friend Lazarus died. 00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:39.839 Jesus was very close with Lazarus and his sisters, Martha and Mary. 00:22:40.319 --> 00:22:42.400 And the specific situation is really simple. 00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:45.039 Lazarus got really sick, and they sent word to Jesus. 00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:46.160 They had faith in Jesus. 00:22:46.319 --> 00:22:47.519 They knew Jesus could heal. 00:22:47.599 --> 00:22:48.640 They had seen him done it. 00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:49.759 They were close with Jesus. 00:22:49.839 --> 00:22:52.480 So they they sent word to Jesus, who was far away. 00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:54.160 Hey, Lazarus is sick. 00:22:54.319 --> 00:22:55.279 You need to come. 00:22:55.599 --> 00:22:56.880 Except Jesus didn't come. 00:22:58.400 --> 00:23:00.880 He didn't drop everything and go to where Lazarus was. 00:23:01.039 --> 00:23:02.480 In fact, he kind of delayed. 00:23:02.640 --> 00:23:04.160 Like he really took his time. 00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:08.640 And he shows up, and Lazarus has been dead. 00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:11.039 Not for a few hours, but for four days. 00:23:11.119 --> 00:23:12.880 He is dead and buried. 00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:15.200 And everyone's kind of mad at Jesus. 00:23:16.640 --> 00:23:18.720 And you can understand why. 00:23:19.599 --> 00:23:22.960 In fact, Martha says this to Jesus in verse 21. 00:23:24.559 --> 00:23:27.119 I said that, and then I totally lost my place. 00:23:27.680 --> 00:23:28.640 It's not a show. 00:23:28.880 --> 00:23:33.599 Martha said to Jesus, Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. 00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:39.119 In John 11, 37, but some said, this man healed a blind man, couldn't he have kept Lazarus from dying? 00:23:39.279 --> 00:23:41.359 And they're right, he absolutely could have. 00:23:42.720 --> 00:23:45.440 In fact, Jesus didn't even have to be there to heal Lazarus. 00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:48.960 We have a story in the Bible of Jesus healing someone long distance. 00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:50.880 Someone who was miles and miles away. 00:23:50.960 --> 00:24:00.240 All Jesus would have had to do to keep Lazarus alive was in that moment that he heard that Lazarus was sick, some 20, 30 miles away, he could have just gone, ah, Lazarus is better. 00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:05.039 And Lazarus would have sat up in bed and said, Man, I feel great. 00:24:05.279 --> 00:24:06.559 I feel wonderful. 00:24:06.880 --> 00:24:08.319 Crisis averted. 00:24:09.599 --> 00:24:10.720 That's not what he does. 00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:12.559 He doesn't do that. 00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:17.359 He doesn't even go directly to Lazarus, just to be intimate and personal, just so Lazarus can know, hey, I care about you. 00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:19.440 I want to put my hand on you and heal you. 00:24:19.599 --> 00:24:20.400 He doesn't even do that. 00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:24.880 And everyone's in tears, everyone's crying, and Jesus shows up and he starts crying. 00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:27.599 He's moved with compassion. 00:24:28.160 --> 00:24:31.359 And he's deeply saddened by the fact that his friend has died. 00:24:31.519 --> 00:24:34.799 And everyone looks at him and everyone says, Why didn't you, why didn't you change it? 00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:39.920 It's because God doesn't avoid the hard stuff. 00:24:41.279 --> 00:24:50.319 And it's a good lesson to all of us to remember that sometimes our prayers can be dominated by prayers of God getting us out of hard situations that we're in instead of getting us through them. 00:24:51.440 --> 00:24:58.240 Don't get me wrong, he will remove difficulties from our path, absolutely, but but he never promises us an easy life. 00:24:59.359 --> 00:25:00.640 He didn't live an easy life. 00:25:03.359 --> 00:25:07.359 See, if the story kind of ended there, if it was like, hey, you know what, life's hard, sorry guys. 00:25:08.880 --> 00:25:10.240 It wouldn't be a very good ending. 00:25:10.400 --> 00:25:11.039 Maybe a good lesson. 00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:13.839 Maybe we realize, hey, yeah, life's tough and we all have to go through hard things. 00:25:13.920 --> 00:25:17.039 You know, even Lazarus had to, but but thankfully the story does not end there. 00:25:17.119 --> 00:25:18.160 Because here's what happens next. 00:25:18.319 --> 00:25:27.519