WEBVTT 00:00:00.800 --> 00:00:01.439 Amen. 00:00:02.479 --> 00:00:03.600 Well, good morning. 00:00:03.759 --> 00:00:04.639 I hope you're doing well. 00:00:04.799 --> 00:00:05.440 You good? 00:00:05.759 --> 00:00:07.360 You're here, so that's good, right? 00:00:07.519 --> 00:00:08.480 My name is Elan. 00:00:08.560 --> 00:00:13.199 If we have not met, and um I actually just wanted to share with you a little bit about the road trip. 00:00:13.359 --> 00:00:15.919 All my all my uh high schoolers over here. 00:00:18.719 --> 00:00:26.160 It was an incredible, incredible, and very exhausting couple of days, but it was really, really incredible. 00:00:26.320 --> 00:00:45.359 And I just wanted to come back and tell you because we owe it to let you know, because of all of your support, for you to know the difference that your prayers and that your contributions made for these students and honestly for volunteers and for me, because we go into this every year, you know, trying to serve these kids and to love on them. 00:00:45.439 --> 00:00:51.679 But God is so amazing, He's such a multitasker, because we end up walking away from the road trip being blessed ourselves. 00:00:51.759 --> 00:00:53.200 And so I just wanted to thank you. 00:00:53.359 --> 00:01:17.359 We went to Gatlinburg and we were in the Smoky Mountains, and whenever you kind of get away from you know your cell phone and the busyness and distractions and uh just the things that tug on us every single day, and you just have to stop and look and see for as long as your eyes can see, mountains and birds and trees and God's creation, you just feel known. 00:01:17.599 --> 00:01:18.480 You feel known. 00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:21.840 And these kids, they felt known, they felt known by the creator. 00:01:22.000 --> 00:01:24.560 They felt known, I believe, by each other. 00:01:24.719 --> 00:01:30.239 They got to build relationships and to bond in ways that that they probably haven't had a chance to do before. 00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:33.040 And and the volunteers got a chance to bond with each other. 00:01:33.120 --> 00:01:35.760 It's like it was just a whole big love fest. 00:01:35.840 --> 00:01:36.879 It was awesome. 00:01:37.120 --> 00:01:42.079 And um 39, 39 of our kids went all in with Jesus and were baptized. 00:01:48.480 --> 00:01:50.000 It was it was awesome. 00:01:50.159 --> 00:01:58.560 It was a beautiful moment, and I just want to thank you because if it wasn't for your prayers, if it wasn't for your generosity, then it wouldn't have been possible. 00:01:58.719 --> 00:02:06.400 Not one, not one student who wanted to go was turned away because of financial need, because we were able to meet that because of your generosity. 00:02:06.480 --> 00:02:11.759 And so thank you so much, and I'm so thankful that I get to be a part of this church, that you are my family. 00:02:11.919 --> 00:02:18.479 And that's really important because actually this morning, Justin called me at six o'clock and he is sick. 00:02:18.639 --> 00:02:21.120 Um, I'm really sorry that he's sick, he'll be fine. 00:02:21.280 --> 00:02:28.560 Um, but I'm also sorry for myself because he told me a couple of months ago to plan a back pocket message in case he got sick, and so I did. 00:02:28.639 --> 00:02:33.280 I'm I'm very, you know, I listened to my instructions and I did what I was told by my boss. 00:02:33.439 --> 00:02:37.680 But he liked that message, and I gave that the last time I spoke with you. 00:02:39.120 --> 00:02:45.360 So when he called me this morning and said, Elon, I know that this is very short notice and you probably don't have anything. 00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:47.439 Would you please um speak for me? 00:02:47.599 --> 00:02:50.000 I honestly wanted to say, no. 00:02:51.520 --> 00:02:53.919 No, I don't want to, thank you very much. 00:02:55.759 --> 00:02:57.840 I probably shouldn't tell you that, but that's the truth. 00:02:58.000 --> 00:03:10.960 And um, I was kind of freaking out for a minute, but we got off the phone, and I literally, in that moment, I started talking out loud, and I just said, Okay, God, you say to me, to us, that you have gone before us and that you will be with us. 00:03:11.199 --> 00:03:14.240 That's what you say, and I'm counting on it to be true today. 00:03:14.400 --> 00:03:17.039 And you know, I thought about Paul, the Apostle Paul. 00:03:17.360 --> 00:03:21.039 He never turned away from the opportunity to talk about God. 00:03:21.199 --> 00:03:22.879 And I want to be like that. 00:03:23.039 --> 00:03:26.400 And so I am unprepared, except my heart is full. 00:03:26.639 --> 00:03:32.080 My heart is full, and you have been prayed for, and I believe that today we're supposed to be here and that God has something to say. 00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:37.520 So I'm just gonna go with that, and I'm just gonna walk right into a story that I thought of when I got off the phone with Justin. 00:03:37.599 --> 00:03:38.960 Um, it's about my husband and me. 00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:46.719 Have you ever been in an argument, like an ongoing argument with someone for a long period of time, and it just doesn't seem to get resolved? 00:03:46.960 --> 00:04:06.240 You know, like you don't see eye to eye on this certain certain situation, and so you you you start to talk about it, thinking that this time is you're gonna communicate, and you start calm, and then all of a sudden, you know, the tempers flare and you get angry and you're like, but you did this and I did that, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I didn't do this, and you know, you know how it goes. 00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:11.360 And then all of a sudden it's you, you're you're you're screaming at each other, you're leaving the room. 00:04:11.599 --> 00:04:14.560 That's kind of what was going on over this one particular issue. 00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:16.800 And Tab and I kept trying to talk it through. 00:04:16.959 --> 00:04:21.120 Every time our intentions were good, we'd come together and be like, okay, let's talk about this. 00:04:21.199 --> 00:04:28.480 And then, of course, one of the kids would need something, and or or you know, he would get a phone call from work, or um we would, you know, we would be hungry. 00:04:28.639 --> 00:04:31.759 Don't ever be hangry when you're trying to have a conversation. 00:04:32.639 --> 00:04:37.040 So this was going on for a long period of time, and we just were getting nowhere. 00:04:37.199 --> 00:04:39.600 But we knew that we had to work this out. 00:04:39.759 --> 00:04:47.920 So we decided um that we were gonna have a conversation on the phone because we were like, okay, maybe if it doesn't work any other way, then this will work. 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:53.199 Well, it happened to be that Tab was gonna be on a on a work trip, and so was I. 00:04:53.360 --> 00:04:58.879 So we agreed that we were gonna get on the phone and talk it out, going to our respective places. 00:04:59.040 --> 00:05:00.399 So I thought this was a good idea. 00:05:00.639 --> 00:05:14.160 Now, here's one thing you need to know about me is um I am not good at arguing because I I can't come up with anything, anything that's smart or wise or anything in that moment. 00:05:14.399 --> 00:05:18.560 But I have won so many arguments in front of the mirror afterwards. 00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:20.000 You know what I'm talking about? 00:05:20.079 --> 00:05:23.279 Or you get in the car and you're like, oh no, this is what I would have said. 00:05:23.439 --> 00:05:28.480 I mean, I I can't, I am terrible at confrontation. 00:05:28.800 --> 00:05:32.160 My husband is very good at it. 00:05:32.319 --> 00:05:34.639 He's a coach, so you know he's gotta be. 00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:45.759 I I don't know why that represents coaching, but anyway, so but he's really, really good at coming up with things and um and being really concise with what he wants to say, and I am not. 00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:58.800 Well, before we got on the phone, because I knew this conversation was gonna take place, before we got on the phone, I prayed and I was just like, Lord, you just speak to me, give me the words, help me to just be really clear, help me to be loving, you know, all those things. 00:05:58.879 --> 00:06:00.160 So we get on the phone. 00:06:00.480 --> 00:06:03.519 I'm just gonna be honest with you, I was killing it. 00:06:04.399 --> 00:06:05.279 I'm serious. 00:06:05.439 --> 00:06:09.040 Like the things that were coming out of my mouth were brilliant. 00:06:09.279 --> 00:06:13.680 I mean, I was saying things that I was like, I can't, this must be God talking. 00:06:13.839 --> 00:06:18.639 And I knew that I was making a difference because the whole time Tab was silent. 00:06:18.879 --> 00:06:22.800 You know how it gets when you have like a heated argument and you keep interrupting each other? 00:06:23.040 --> 00:06:25.040 Well, this time, nothing. 00:06:25.360 --> 00:06:26.879 Tab had nothing to say. 00:06:27.519 --> 00:06:29.279 And I'm just like, okay. 00:06:29.439 --> 00:06:34.560 So so I start talking and I'm saying all these wonderful, brilliant points, and he's not saying anything. 00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:38.879 Now, this went on for just a few minutes, and uh, it was weird. 00:06:38.959 --> 00:06:44.079 I had this feeling washed over me that I was like, not as mad as I had been. 00:06:44.160 --> 00:06:48.879 So I start to kind of calm down, and I had one last point, you know, talk about back pocket. 00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:52.000 I had one last point that I wanted to make, and he was so quiet. 00:06:52.079 --> 00:06:56.319 So I said this point, and and after I shared it, I just felt such love for him. 00:06:56.399 --> 00:06:58.399 And so I I wanted to hear from him. 00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:03.439 So I said, So so Tab, I mean, do you understand? 00:07:03.600 --> 00:07:05.279 Do you understand where I'm coming from? 00:07:07.519 --> 00:07:08.000 Nothing. 00:07:08.160 --> 00:07:16.879 He didn't say anything, and I was thinking, oh, he's he's really thinking before he speaks. 00:07:17.199 --> 00:07:23.519 Like he really wants to say something, you know, that is thoughtful and loving. 00:07:26.959 --> 00:07:33.279 And so I wait a little longer and I think, okay, maybe he's really, he's really trying to come up with something right to say. 00:07:33.360 --> 00:07:34.240 So I wait. 00:07:34.879 --> 00:07:35.040 Tom. 00:07:36.399 --> 00:07:40.000 And then I thought, he's crying. 00:07:41.360 --> 00:07:43.759 I made my husband cry. 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:46.560 And I'm sorry, but that is a celebration. 00:07:50.480 --> 00:07:52.000 And so I gave it a moment. 00:07:52.079 --> 00:07:56.079 I knew he had his manhood to think about, so I didn't want to embarrass him and ask, are you crying? 00:07:56.160 --> 00:08:03.519 So I just waited a second, and and a couple more moments passed, and and I was like, Okay, Tab, you know, I really want to hear from you. 00:08:03.600 --> 00:08:05.680 What do you what do you have to tell me? 00:08:06.399 --> 00:08:10.160 Now I know many of you have figured out by now what has happened. 00:08:11.600 --> 00:08:14.000 But let me tell you, it was news to me. 00:08:15.360 --> 00:08:18.480 Apparently, the call had gotten dropped. 00:08:20.319 --> 00:08:22.959 Later on, when I talked to him, I was like, okay, for real. 00:08:23.199 --> 00:08:25.040 For real, did you hang up the phone on me? 00:08:25.279 --> 00:08:28.000 He was like, I promise you, I promise you, I didn't. 00:08:28.079 --> 00:08:30.000 I even tried to tell you, no way, I didn't, I can't hear. 00:08:30.560 --> 00:08:33.120 And it hung up, and I and I said, Well, when was the last thing? 00:08:33.279 --> 00:08:35.039 What was the last thing you heard me say? 00:08:35.279 --> 00:08:38.960 And he was like, Listen, I really want to tell you something that's on my heart. 00:08:41.840 --> 00:08:43.759 All of that for nothing. 00:08:44.639 --> 00:08:52.320 You know, it's funny though, when I think back to that conversation, um, you know, because God I God wants to tell us something in everything that happens in our life. 00:08:52.399 --> 00:09:00.080 And if we could just kind of wise up enough to stop for just a second and stop moving on to the next thing, but really stay for a moment and say, well, what were you trying to teach me in that? 00:09:00.240 --> 00:09:02.000 Then I think that we could really learn a lot. 00:09:02.080 --> 00:09:04.480 And I did that because it was really frustrating. 00:09:04.559 --> 00:09:11.360 It really was, because I had something I wanted to say to him and I needed him to hear, and he didn't actually hear it, not to any fault of his own. 00:09:11.519 --> 00:09:12.879 But I was like, God, why? 00:09:13.039 --> 00:09:13.519 You know? 00:09:13.679 --> 00:09:15.360 And here's what he kind of gave me. 00:09:15.519 --> 00:09:21.600 You know, the truth of the matter is, is you and I as humans, we have this desire to be heard and understood. 00:09:21.840 --> 00:09:23.120 It's in our nature. 00:09:23.360 --> 00:09:27.360 When we feel heard, when we feel understood, we feel loved. 00:09:27.600 --> 00:09:36.639 And when we feel loved, it's amazing what happens to any anger or resentment or or strife that we may have, whether it's in life or with other people. 00:09:36.799 --> 00:09:37.360 It's the truth. 00:09:37.440 --> 00:09:38.000 And you know what? 00:09:38.240 --> 00:09:47.360 God doesn't want us to live in relationships, whether it's with our spouse or a colleague or a parent or a sibling or a neighbor or a friend, it doesn't matter. 00:09:47.600 --> 00:09:55.759 He doesn't want us to be in any kind of relationship where there's anger and hostility and harsh words spoken to each other all the time. 00:09:55.919 --> 00:10:00.559 And that's not because he's this God who rules over us and tells us all these rules. 00:10:00.720 --> 00:10:02.799 It's because he knows what's best for us. 00:10:03.039 --> 00:10:05.360 He knows what we need in order to thrive. 00:10:05.519 --> 00:10:09.840 And he talks a lot about anger and thinking before we speak in the Bible. 00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:12.000 I pulled a couple verses I want to share it with you. 00:10:12.159 --> 00:10:14.559 In James 1.19, I love this, what James says. 00:10:14.799 --> 00:10:26.320 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters, you must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 00:10:26.720 --> 00:10:35.279 Proverbs 15.1, a gentle answer deflects anger, but a harsh word makes tempers flare. 00:10:35.600 --> 00:10:40.720 Proverbs 18, 2 says, fools have no interest in understanding. 00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:43.600 They only want to err their own opinions. 00:10:44.159 --> 00:10:48.720 And then in Philippians 2, verse 3 through 5, do not be selfish. 00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:50.639 Don't try to impress others. 00:10:50.960 --> 00:10:51.919 Be humble. 00:10:52.320 --> 00:10:54.879 Thinking of others as better than yourselves. 00:10:55.120 --> 00:11:00.080 Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others too. 00:11:00.399 --> 00:11:04.639 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. 00:11:05.039 --> 00:11:07.360 Man, it's so true and it's so hard. 00:11:07.600 --> 00:11:19.039 Because life doesn't just go on this easy little path all day long where you wake up when you want to wake up and you got your cup of coffee and you don't get interrupted, and traffic is fine, and everybody goes along with what you want to do. 00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:31.919 And honestly, the truth is too, at least in my experience, I don't know about you, is I am way nicer sometimes, way more patient sometimes, way more forgiving and graceful to people I don't even know. 00:11:32.159 --> 00:11:35.919 And then I come home and I'm worn out and I'm exhausted, rightfully so. 00:11:36.080 --> 00:11:39.519 And my patience, my patience is wearing thin. 00:11:39.840 --> 00:11:41.519 And God doesn't want us to live that way. 00:11:41.600 --> 00:11:45.600 Whether it's at home, in our relationships, you know, it doesn't really matter where we are. 00:11:45.759 --> 00:11:47.200 He doesn't want that for us. 00:11:47.440 --> 00:11:57.600 You know, I know I started this story off with something funny, but but just kind of, since I'm talking about Tab and may I just be transparent with you, you know, there was a time where it wasn't so funny. 00:11:57.759 --> 00:12:07.039 Um, about seven years into our marriage, so Tab and I have been married for 13 years, about seven years into our marriage, we just we just really hit a hard spot. 00:12:07.200 --> 00:12:13.440 You know, like you don't even know how you get to this point, but one day you kind of wake up and you you feel like you're strangers in a way. 00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:20.159 You still love that person and you certainly want things to be okay, but you just you're just not feeling it. 00:12:20.320 --> 00:12:22.720 That honeymoon feeling, it's just not there. 00:12:22.879 --> 00:12:34.559 And um we were we were there, we were kind of at that spot, and we had a uh a newborn at the time, and just to kind of let you know where my headspace was, um, I didn't want to go back to work, I wanted to stay home with the baby. 00:12:34.639 --> 00:13:04.399 My husband's a coach and a teacher, and I love that he is, but that doesn't afford us the opportunity for me to stay home, and and so and and we both had started new jobs right after our our oldest Rachel was born, and so um we were starting a new job, I was starting a new job and learning how to do this as a mom, and and we weren't seeing each other very much because we had started a new job and because we had a new baby, and so we weren't talking as much, and I really honestly felt like we were ships, sort of just passing in the night. 00:13:04.799 --> 00:13:14.799 There came this point where we were just arguing and arguing and arguing and arguing, and I really remember thinking, how is this gonna turn out? 00:13:15.039 --> 00:13:16.559 I how is this gonna turn out? 00:13:16.639 --> 00:13:17.440 I was afraid. 00:13:17.679 --> 00:13:19.200 I was afraid and he was too. 00:13:19.279 --> 00:13:24.879 And we we both agreed that like we needed help and we needed it yesterday, and we got to do something right now for our marriage. 00:13:24.960 --> 00:13:27.919 And so we were like, well, let's go get counseling because that's what we need to do. 00:13:28.159 --> 00:13:30.159 But we were poor, we had no money. 00:13:30.320 --> 00:13:33.519 So it's like, what do you do when you need help and you need a counselor, but you have no money? 00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:36.320 I mean, prayer works, yes, but we need help now. 00:13:36.879 --> 00:13:50.000 And so I prayed about it and he prayed about it, and I came up to him and I said, Tub, listen, if you trust me not to manipulate this situation at all, will you let me come up with some plans, some lessons? 00:13:50.159 --> 00:13:51.919 Because see, by nature I'm a teacher. 00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:57.120 And so I was like, you know what, let me go to my get my gift, let me go to my skill, and let me use that. 00:13:57.360 --> 00:13:59.919 And so so I said, Can I come up with some lesson plans? 00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:01.600 And he's like, Yeah, let's do it. 00:14:01.759 --> 00:14:04.399 We have no money, I trust you, go for it. 00:14:04.639 --> 00:14:23.039 So I prayed, and I'm just telling you, and this is why I want to share this with you right now, because I really believe that this really, really can help all of us, and it's a good reminder for me too, that God really put on my heart that really we complicate things so much when really it's so easy. 00:14:23.360 --> 00:14:26.080 So I came to Tab and I said, okay, here's the deal. 00:14:26.320 --> 00:14:28.879 I prayed about this and I believe this is what God wants us to do. 00:14:29.039 --> 00:14:33.759 So we sat down at the table, we decided ahead of time what time and where we were gonna sit. 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:40.320 Because you know, having kids, having work and interruptions, it's so easy to get your schedule, you know, claimed for you. 00:14:40.480 --> 00:14:42.480 And so we made, we made it on our calendar. 00:14:42.559 --> 00:14:46.000 We were going to sit down for 30 minutes and we were going to meet. 00:14:46.080 --> 00:14:49.679 And so we had that on our calendar, we looked forward to it, prayed about it all week long. 00:14:49.919 --> 00:14:53.200 We sat down and there was there was there were two things we were gonna do. 00:14:53.440 --> 00:15:02.559 The first thing is we were both gonna come to the table with one thing that we absolutely needed the other person to do for us. 00:15:02.720 --> 00:15:03.919 I mean, I'm talking a need. 00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:09.279 I'm not talking like I just want you to buy me flowers or I want you to open the car door for me. 00:15:09.360 --> 00:15:14.240 I'm talking like, I really, I need for you to do this for me. 00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:15.759 And and so that was our homework. 00:15:15.840 --> 00:15:20.799 We were gonna come to the table with one need, and then the other thing was, and this was the hardest part. 00:15:21.600 --> 00:15:28.000 When when the person was sharing their one need, the other person could not say a single word. 00:15:29.519 --> 00:15:30.879 That's so hard. 00:15:31.200 --> 00:15:34.320 Because I don't know about you, but I like to get defensive. 00:15:34.399 --> 00:15:36.480 I'm like, wait, you don't think I do that? 00:15:36.720 --> 00:15:38.720 Do you know how long that I work? 00:15:38.799 --> 00:15:42.399 And I want to defend. 00:15:42.559 --> 00:15:49.039 So it was really, really good that we agreed that we weren't gonna rebuttal a single solitary thing. 00:15:49.519 --> 00:15:54.799 You know what blows my mind is what our one need was, because it was so simple. 00:15:55.120 --> 00:15:59.679 My one need to tap was I just wanted him to say thank you. 00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:06.799 I know my husband was grateful in his heart, but I personally needed to hear him say, thank you. 00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:08.799 Thank you for taking care of our child. 00:16:09.039 --> 00:16:12.240 Thank you that you are taking care of our child and you're working full-time. 00:16:12.320 --> 00:16:13.440 I know that's not easy. 00:16:13.600 --> 00:16:14.080 Thank you. 00:16:14.240 --> 00:16:15.840 Thank you for being a supportive wife. 00:16:16.080 --> 00:16:17.360 Thank you for cleaning the house. 00:16:17.519 --> 00:16:20.639 You know, thank you for picking up my slack when it's in when we're in season. 00:16:20.720 --> 00:16:22.000 Thank you for cooking dinner. 00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:27.120 It's the simple things that I know he appreciated, but I needed to hear it. 00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:28.639 I needed that. 00:16:29.679 --> 00:16:32.480 And I can't even believe what his one need was. 00:16:32.559 --> 00:16:44.879 Because I will be honest, I honestly, I didn't give him the credit as a guy, like that he really had that depth, that he had some kind of need that was like, gosh, this is sounding really bad. 00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:54.159 But you know, honestly, we all joke, women are the emotional ones, and guys are not, they're like robotic, you know, like I have no emotion. 00:16:54.399 --> 00:16:59.919 But the truth of the matter is, thank you, my my my high schoolers are laughing at me. 00:17:00.080 --> 00:17:04.640 Um, but the truth of the matter is, is that he's a child of God too. 00:17:05.680 --> 00:17:10.160 And his one need for me, and ladies, listen up. 00:17:12.400 --> 00:17:18.400 His one need for me was Elon, I need you to ask me how my day at work was. 00:17:20.880 --> 00:17:26.079 And I couldn't even believe it, because that sounds like really that's that important. 00:17:26.480 --> 00:17:34.240 Now, listen, my husband is a football coach, and they talk X's and O's and all this kind of stuff, and he comes home, and I'll be real honest, this is all I hear him saying. 00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:44.480 I know I'm such a dork, okay? 00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:48.400 But that is truly what I hear, because I don't understand football. 00:17:48.559 --> 00:17:52.240 But see, what I realize is he doesn't care if I understand. 00:17:52.480 --> 00:17:55.440 He wants me to be interested in what interests him. 00:17:56.079 --> 00:17:57.599 So here was our deal. 00:17:57.839 --> 00:18:11.279 For one week, for seven days, our only job, our only role, our only responsibility was to fulfill that one need in each person's life for the entire week. 00:18:11.440 --> 00:18:20.640 And I'm just saying, God is just if we will just give him that much of ourselves, he just pours it down. 00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:26.559 Because within two days, it was like all of those issues, they just we got them in perspective. 00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:35.359 Because here's what happens you know, he would walk into the house and he would be looking for anything to thank me on, and he just gratitude just poured out of his mouth. 00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:36.720 You know what happened to me? 00:18:37.039 --> 00:18:38.960 Oh, I just felt so loved and appreciated. 00:18:39.039 --> 00:18:41.599 So then when I did, I just poured it out to him. 00:18:41.759 --> 00:18:43.359 Oh, how is how was work today? 00:18:43.519 --> 00:18:48.960 And I was genuinely interested, and he would go on and he'd start speaking his foreign language, and and I would just be listening. 00:18:49.039 --> 00:18:59.680 And and then, because he felt so loved, then he would go not just not thank me, he would actually go do one of the responsibilities that I had to show his gratitude for me. 00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:01.680 How simple. 00:19:02.559 --> 00:19:05.279 How simple it didn't cost a dime of counseling. 00:19:07.039 --> 00:19:10.480 There were no there were no arguments, there was no shouting. 00:19:12.079 --> 00:19:22.319 So often we are so quick to want to be understood that we don't take a moment to try to understand, to try to understand where someone else is coming from. 00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:30.240 And and I know I'm sitting here talking about marriage, and some of you are not married, but here's the deal: it's about relationship, it's about communication, it's about love. 00:19:30.640 --> 00:19:32.880 And we're all in this thing together. 00:19:33.599 --> 00:19:45.759 And whether it's whether it's your parents, we were on the road trip and we were having this conversation about, you know, how it's really hard when a parent has a teenager and the teenager's trying to spread their wings and the parents trying to hold on, and it's like this big conflict. 00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:55.279 And and and I just shared with one of the kids, I was just like, listen, I know that you're frustrated, but your parents are children of God. 00:19:55.599 --> 00:19:56.880 They are a child. 00:19:57.039 --> 00:20:02.400 They have fears and doubts and struggles and worries, and all the very real things that you struggle with too. 00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:04.799 Don't give them so much of a hard time. 00:20:05.039 --> 00:20:11.279 They're doing the best they can, and they are terrified, by the way, that they've messed up or that you're not gonna be okay. 00:20:12.240 --> 00:20:17.200 You know, or even at work, it doesn't have to be someone that you are in a close relationship with. 00:20:17.440 --> 00:20:25.039 I remember back a while back I had a conflict with a woman at work, and I just we did not care for each other, but we worked very closely with each other. 00:20:25.119 --> 00:20:29.200 So we had to make it work, and we just were constantly butting heads. 00:20:29.359 --> 00:20:30.960 I dreaded going to work. 00:20:31.200 --> 00:20:34.079 I'm sure she pretty much dreaded seeing me walk down the hallway. 00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:35.839 I mean, we it was just not good. 00:20:36.000 --> 00:20:41.440 And and we weren't getting anywhere, and we had to resolve this, and we weren't gonna sit down and talk about our one need with each other. 00:20:41.680 --> 00:20:47.839 And so I just was like, okay, God, obviously this is not really the way you want me to behave. 00:20:48.000 --> 00:20:51.920 And obviously, there is something in this that I can do, so show me. 00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:53.039 And I prayed. 00:20:53.279 --> 00:21:00.720 And and God really put it on my heart that I was going, that I was to pray for her, because let me tell you something. 00:21:01.039 --> 00:21:07.920 Angry people, hurt people, hurt people. 00:21:09.279 --> 00:21:11.359 When we're hurt and we're angry, what do we do? 00:21:11.599 --> 00:21:13.359 We take it out on someone else. 00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:19.759 And God put that on my heart for her that she was angry about something else, that she had a wound, and she was his child. 00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:21.759 So I prayed for her. 00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:32.319 And then I just started looking for ways I could serve her, whether it was that she didn't even know, whether it was finding the copies on the copy machine that I knew were hers and just putting it on her desk and walking away. 00:21:32.480 --> 00:21:34.000 It was kind of a thing between me and God. 00:21:34.079 --> 00:21:36.319 It was something he was working on with me. 00:21:36.880 --> 00:21:40.079 You know, I share all of this, and I don't know, you know, what relationships you're in. 00:21:40.319 --> 00:21:51.440 It could be friends, it could just be good friends where you just, you are just, you had an argument and you see it one way and they see it another way, and you cannot resolve it for the life of you. 00:21:51.759 --> 00:21:54.799 But y'all, sometimes it just doesn't matter. 00:21:55.279 --> 00:21:58.240 Sometimes you don't need to split hairs. 00:21:58.720 --> 00:21:59.759 Did Jesus no? 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:01.359 He loved. 00:22:02.559 --> 00:22:06.079 Loving is not easy, but it is the way. 00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:08.000 It is the best way. 00:22:08.079 --> 00:22:10.319 And you know what is so awesome? 00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:11.839 Thank you, Jesus. 00:22:12.079 --> 00:22:22.079 What is so awesome is that when we love other people and when we put their needs first, we actually are the ones who get blessed. 00:22:23.839 --> 00:22:26.160 That is how generous our God is. 00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:31.359 His whole ministry, Jesus' whole ministry was about love. 00:22:31.680 --> 00:22:34.880 And it doesn't have to be complicated, it doesn't have to cost a dime. 00:22:35.039 --> 00:22:37.039 It doesn't even have to inconvenience you. 00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:38.480 It can be fun. 00:22:39.279 --> 00:22:45.279 But we got to get outside of ourselves and about what we want and what we need the other person to do and start looking to them. 00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:46.960 What can we do for them? 00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:59.359 And I'm telling you, with that woman at work, with my husband, and with a myriad of other experiences that I've had, every time that I've said, okay, God, help me know how to love this person. 00:22:59.440 --> 00:23:00.480 What do they need? 00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:03.359 I'm humbling myself and it's uncomfortable every time. 00:23:03.440 --> 00:23:07.279 It doesn't take a day or two before everything starts changing. 00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:08.880 And you know what she did? 00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:11.039 She did the same thing my husband did. 00:23:11.200 --> 00:23:15.519 It's not like we had a conversation, but she could feel this sense of love. 00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:19.920 I know she could, because she was doing things for me that she never had done before. 00:23:20.160 --> 00:23:25.519 She was paying compliments about me behind my back that she had never done before. 00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:27.519 That is God. 00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:36.480 If we don't ever talk about or learn anything else in our whole existence here on earth than to love, then that's it. 00:23:36.799 --> 00:23:38.079 Then that's all. 00:23:39.200 --> 00:23:40.240 He talks about it. 00:23:40.400 --> 00:23:45.759 I'm going to close with this message or this verse or passage in 1 Corinthians. 00:23:45.920 --> 00:23:46.799 We all know this. 00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:48.240 1 Corinthians 13. 00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:52.319 I'm actually reading from the message because sometimes it's nice to hear it put a different way. 00:23:52.480 --> 00:23:55.279 But this is how important love is to God. 00:23:55.920 --> 00:23:57.839 It says, love never gives up. 00:23:58.079 --> 00:23:58.960 Hold on, wait. 00:23:59.200 --> 00:24:01.680 Think about right now that person. 00:24:02.480 --> 00:24:05.759 Your parent, your sibling, your spouse, your colleague. 00:24:05.920 --> 00:24:07.359 I want you to think about that person right now. 00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:08.720 We've all got that person. 00:24:09.039 --> 00:24:10.880 Okay, now let me read this. 00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:13.759 Love never gives up. 00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:18.079 Love cares more for others than for self. 00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:21.200 Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. 00:24:21.599 --> 00:24:28.559 Love doesn't strut, doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others. 00:24:28.799 --> 00:24:30.640 It isn't always me first. 00:24:31.119 --> 00:24:33.119 It doesn't fly off the handle. 00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:36.079 It doesn't keep score of sins of others. 00:24:36.319 --> 00:24:38.880 It doesn't revel when others grovel. 00:24:39.680 --> 00:24:43.680 It takes pleasure in the flowering of truth. 00:24:44.720 --> 00:24:47.279 It puts up with anything. 00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:53.920 Trusts God always always looks for the best. 00:24:54.640 --> 00:24:56.240 Never looks back. 00:24:57.519 --> 00:25:00.640 But keeps going to the end. 00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:07.759 Our Savior gave us the perfect example of going to the end when we didn't deserve it. 00:25:08.319 --> 00:25:21.599 Isn't it the very least that we could do to go out into our week this week and look for ways that we can love other people, even when they don't deserve it, because honestly, we don't deserve it. 00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:24.559 But that's what grace is, and that's what love is. 00:25:24.799 --> 00:25:30.799 And I believe that when we do that, we aren't just blessing another person. 00:25:31.440 --> 00:25:33.039 We are getting blessed. 00:25:33.359 --> 00:25:35.279 And the world will change. 00:25:35.680 --> 00:25:37.680 All from this simple thing of love. 00:25:39.680 --> 00:25:41.440 So will you join me this week? 00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:44.640 Will you meet one need for someone else? 00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:48.240 Let's pray. 00:25:50.160 --> 00:25:52.079 Father, oh God. 00:25:54.240 --> 00:25:59.759 Even though I just honestly, my my knees have been buckling, I can't even believe this is happening. 00:26:00.640 --> 00:26:01.920 But I thank you. 00:26:02.240 --> 00:26:08.240 I just thank you for the opportunity to just be with this family. 00:26:10.160 --> 00:26:17.920 Lord, you your message is so strong and it's so clear and it's so consistent and it's so powerful and it's so life-changing. 00:26:18.160 --> 00:26:20.799 And you give us such an incredible example. 00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:23.200 God, help us to be bold. 00:26:23.519 --> 00:26:25.680 Help us to be bold and obedient. 00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:27.279 Help us to be unafraid. 00:26:27.359 --> 00:26:28.960 Help us to be selfless. 00:26:29.599 --> 00:26:31.759 Help us, Lord, to be humble. 00:26:32.079 --> 00:26:38.000 Help us to put the needs of other people, especially the people who are closest to us, especially our family. 00:26:38.240 --> 00:26:41.519 Help us to put their needs before ours. 00:26:41.839 --> 00:26:43.279 God, help us. 00:26:43.519 --> 00:26:44.720 Give us strength. 00:26:44.880 --> 00:26:46.079 Give us humility. 00:26:46.319 --> 00:26:47.359 Give us love. 00:26:47.680 --> 00:26:52.000 Thank you for just the primo example that you left us. 00:26:52.480 --> 00:27:00.000 Thank you for continually pouring your grace and your faithfulness over us so that we can get up every day and do it again. 00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:07.680 And I ask that you empower us to be convicted enough that we will do something. 00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:09.839 Lord, thank you. 00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:10.880 Thank you for your promise. 00:27:11.039 --> 00:27:11.519 We love you. 00:27:11.599 --> 00:27:12.079 We love you. 00:27:12.160 --> 00:27:21.359 I pray for every marriage, every every parent and child relationship, every friend and friend relationship, every every work relationship. 00:27:21.599 --> 00:27:25.200 I pray for every every every person in their own spirit. 00:27:25.279 --> 00:27:30.640 Lord, I just pray right now for your grace and your love to just wash over all of us. 00:27:30.799 --> 00:27:43.359 That we would be so filled right now, Lord Jesus, with your Holy Spirit that we would have no choice but to overflow and fill every walk where we go this week, every person we encounter. 00:27:45.440 --> 00:27:48.000 Lord, you gave us the example for a reason. 00:27:48.160 --> 00:27:52.319 And I pray that we will not pass up the opportunity. 00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:53.599 And I thank you. 00:27:53.839 --> 00:27:56.079 I thank you for what you want to do in our lives. 00:27:56.319 --> 00:27:57.759 We love you, Jesus. 00:27:58.400 --> 00:27:58.960 Amen.