WEBVTT 00:00:03.600 --> 00:00:12.640 And for those of you that I have not had the privilege of meeting, I travel a lot, and I I know this also that on weekends, Holiday and Express lets kids stay free. 00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:17.920 So there's a van that'll pick them up from here on Friday and take them there for the rest of the weekend. 00:00:18.160 --> 00:00:20.480 And uh that was a joke. 00:00:20.559 --> 00:00:23.039 Don't just know where to where do the where's the van? 00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:24.800 We want to put it on the van. 00:00:27.440 --> 00:00:41.280 I am I am crazy excited about this this next three weeks from a lot of different perspectives, but I want to start where uh Justin kind of hit, and that is with the singles, and that is uh let me just tell you that there's there's nothing magic about marriage. 00:00:41.439 --> 00:00:42.320 There's really not. 00:00:42.479 --> 00:00:47.200 If you're here today and you're a you're a single person, I was single till I was 30 and you're thinking, you know what? 00:00:47.280 --> 00:00:49.280 I'm just I'm just not happy. 00:00:49.439 --> 00:00:52.399 I'm just not happy, and I I'm looking for that special someone. 00:00:52.479 --> 00:00:55.520 I hope I find them someday because that then I'll be happy. 00:00:55.600 --> 00:00:57.759 And or maybe you're just like, I'm lonely. 00:00:57.840 --> 00:01:00.799 I'm tired of all my friends, they have dates, and I just feel lonely. 00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:01.920 I'll never forget. 00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:12.079 I had several friends that were female when I was single, they were just good friends, and and they would be bemoaning their situation, going, gosh, you know, just where are all the great guys? 00:01:12.319 --> 00:01:20.400 And I'm standing there going, just really did you not see me? 00:01:20.560 --> 00:01:21.439 What is that about? 00:01:21.599 --> 00:01:23.120 And and you feel lonely. 00:01:23.359 --> 00:01:26.560 There's one that really happens a lot, and it happened to me several times. 00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:45.840 It was just you're hurt, and that relationship cycle, just you think that's the person, they turn out not to be the person you're looking for, and it's just like there's this pain, and just there's this misconception that once I find that person, and once that happens for me, once that marriage thing happens, then you know what? 00:01:45.920 --> 00:01:51.840 My I will no longer be unhappy, and I'll no longer be lonely, and all my hurt will be healed. 00:01:52.000 --> 00:02:02.799 Well, let me just share this with you as a reality that an unhappy, lonely, hurt single person will be an unhappy, lonely, hurt married person. 00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:08.000 There's not that, I'm telling you, at the ceremony when you put the rings on and they go, I now present Mr. 00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:11.919 and Mrs., you don't go, Wow, what just happened? 00:02:12.400 --> 00:02:14.000 I am now better. 00:02:15.039 --> 00:02:15.919 That doesn't happen. 00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:17.599 I'm the same person. 00:02:18.319 --> 00:02:19.599 So how do we get that? 00:02:19.680 --> 00:02:35.520 And then we hear the people who are just, and if you're single here today, I know you've heard this because I've heard it just the the people just going, oh man, you're gonna find, oh, just you're maybe you're engaged and you're just thinking, we're so in love, and you've heard single or married people do this, go, well, just wait a little while. 00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:38.159 You're gonna join the rest of us. 00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:43.199 And just they they talk about marriage like it's this prison that you live in. 00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:45.680 And I don't believe that was meant to be that way. 00:02:45.759 --> 00:03:00.879 And what I love, and and I hope that I really hope that there's some of you here today that you're just not you're not church people, maybe you're not just this is your first time, or you're not into that at all, because I want you to see how real God is about this. 00:03:01.039 --> 00:03:05.280 Not churchy, but how real God is about about marriage. 00:03:05.599 --> 00:03:08.080 He shares, it's it's his idea, okay? 00:03:08.159 --> 00:03:09.759 It's God's idea to begin with. 00:03:09.919 --> 00:03:13.919 And if you go to the, if you open the Bible, the first book is called Genesis. 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:17.840 In the second chapter, he goes into what it's all about. 00:03:17.919 --> 00:03:19.439 In uh chapter 2, verse 18. 00:03:19.520 --> 00:03:23.680 It says, the the Lord God said, It is not good for man to be alone. 00:03:23.840 --> 00:03:26.879 I will make him a helper suitable for him. 00:03:27.039 --> 00:03:28.000 It was God's idea. 00:03:28.159 --> 00:03:30.159 He's like, it's not good that man be alone. 00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:35.520 He's gonna get lost, he won't stop for directions, he's just he he needs help. 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:39.280 And he was getting it done, but he says there needs to be more there. 00:03:39.360 --> 00:03:49.360 And then later in that, it says this, that that is why a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 00:03:49.680 --> 00:03:52.879 Now, that is exactly what it's talking about. 00:03:52.960 --> 00:03:57.120 And he designs this and he calls it marriage, that they'll become one flesh. 00:03:57.199 --> 00:04:02.240 And if there's some younger people in here, let me just tell you right now that God, God created sex. 00:04:02.400 --> 00:04:03.919 That was his idea. 00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:04.639 All right? 00:04:04.800 --> 00:04:08.400 And he said, Hey, you're gonna be one flesh, but it's it's so much more. 00:04:08.560 --> 00:04:16.079 It's the only experience in life where you are united physically and mentally and emotionally and relationally in every good way. 00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:19.360 But God designed it in that sense. 00:04:19.519 --> 00:04:23.279 I'll describe it this way: when our kids were little, they were like, Can we go camping? 00:04:23.439 --> 00:04:25.439 We love to go camping, and it's like, oh. 00:04:26.079 --> 00:04:28.000 So we would go camping once a year. 00:04:28.160 --> 00:04:31.199 Now I've shared this before, but the details were simple. 00:04:31.360 --> 00:04:40.319 We'd go Friday night, we'd get there before dark, we'd set up the tent next to the little fire ring, and we would cook out, and then the next morning we'd put up the tent and go to a buffet. 00:04:40.399 --> 00:04:42.480 Okay, that was camping to us. 00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:44.800 But they loved it. 00:04:44.879 --> 00:04:48.079 And every when we first got there, I'm like, hey, we'll put up the tent together. 00:04:48.160 --> 00:04:50.319 I'm like, all right, we got the fire ring here. 00:04:50.560 --> 00:04:57.360 We put the tent right by the fire ring, like, okay, you guys got to go get sticks so we can start a fire so we can cook the hot dogs and make the s'mores. 00:04:57.759 --> 00:05:04.160 And they would go out and they would just grab sticks everywhere, and they'd put them in there and it kept us warm and it cooked the food, and it was awesome. 00:05:04.399 --> 00:05:08.639 What would have happened if instead of that I said, hey, here's some matches. 00:05:09.199 --> 00:05:11.199 Go light some sticks. 00:05:11.920 --> 00:05:13.199 What would happen? 00:05:13.439 --> 00:05:14.720 Disaster would happen. 00:05:14.879 --> 00:05:20.720 The forest would catch on fire, and that is this uniting and one in spirit, the way God designed it. 00:05:20.800 --> 00:05:27.040 He says, Hey, you take it out of the ring, out of marriage, and it will destroy everything it touches. 00:05:27.279 --> 00:05:29.680 In the ring, everything good. 00:05:29.920 --> 00:05:32.720 But out of the ring, it destroys everything it touches. 00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:35.920 And that's just such a great visual of the way he designed marriage. 00:05:36.000 --> 00:05:40.160 But then God is also very honest about marriage. 00:05:40.560 --> 00:05:47.519 The Apostle Paul in the New Testament, after Jesus has come, Paul is like, he writes a massive amount of the New Testament. 00:05:47.600 --> 00:05:50.319 And he says this in 1 Corinthians 7 28. 00:05:50.399 --> 00:05:52.720 This is God being honest through his servant. 00:05:52.800 --> 00:05:57.920 He says this, but if you do marry, and I even love the words he uses, he says, you haven't sinned. 00:05:58.079 --> 00:05:59.360 Okay, it's not that bad. 00:05:59.600 --> 00:06:07.519 He says, if you're a virgin marry, she's not sinned, but those who marry will face many troubles in this life. 00:06:07.759 --> 00:06:10.399 And I want to spare you from this. 00:06:11.199 --> 00:06:12.560 And he's not joking. 00:06:12.639 --> 00:06:13.680 He spends the whole chapter. 00:06:13.759 --> 00:06:14.959 You can go read the whole chapter. 00:06:15.040 --> 00:06:15.759 He's like, you know what? 00:06:15.839 --> 00:06:19.680 It's, and I just wish you'd stay single so you can focus on serving God. 00:06:19.759 --> 00:06:23.120 And just, but if you can't help it, then go ahead and get married. 00:06:23.199 --> 00:06:26.639 It's almost like a last resort type thing. 00:06:26.879 --> 00:06:29.279 And yet, it's the way God describes it. 00:06:29.360 --> 00:06:32.000 Now there's one even better in the Old Testament. 00:06:32.399 --> 00:06:36.240 The richest man in the history of the world, King Solomon. 00:06:36.480 --> 00:06:42.000 More money than anybody's ever had, more pleasure, excess to everything. 00:06:42.399 --> 00:06:43.839 And he lives his whole life. 00:06:43.920 --> 00:06:48.879 And he's like, he's had everything, riches, fame, every everything, everything, everything. 00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:51.680 And then he writes this book called Ecclesiastes. 00:06:51.839 --> 00:06:54.240 And he basically goes, Life is empty. 00:06:54.480 --> 00:06:56.399 It's just empty and it's horrible. 00:06:56.480 --> 00:06:58.720 And it's life is meaningless. 00:06:58.879 --> 00:07:00.959 It's chasing after wind. 00:07:01.199 --> 00:07:08.800 And then in the midst of all that, he finally gets to the point where he's like, there's only two worth anything. 00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:12.720 He said, Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your heart. 00:07:12.879 --> 00:07:13.839 And then he says this. 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:14.720 That's the first one. 00:07:14.800 --> 00:07:16.000 The other one is this. 00:07:16.560 --> 00:07:28.560 In Ecclesiastes 9 9, he says, Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given us. 00:07:28.879 --> 00:07:30.879 All your meaningless days. 00:07:31.120 --> 00:07:34.720 So even in the midst of this rant, he's just like, This is worth it. 00:07:34.800 --> 00:07:37.360 This only two pieces that's worth it, though. 00:07:37.600 --> 00:07:38.720 And he gets to that point. 00:07:38.800 --> 00:07:46.560 So then we look at, okay, we hear the couples who talk about, oh, just wait, you'll get married, and it'll be over and that. 00:07:46.879 --> 00:07:51.120 And yet there's this idea of being honest about it. 00:07:51.199 --> 00:07:55.680 So how do we get from frustration to fulfillment in marriage? 00:07:55.920 --> 00:07:59.920 God designed it, and he designed it good, and he designed it for our good. 00:08:00.079 --> 00:08:01.759 How do we get to that point? 00:08:02.079 --> 00:08:06.240 From frustration to the value of what it's really all about. 00:08:07.199 --> 00:08:13.439 Well, I gotta tell you, I love, I love the way it's designed or described, rather. 00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:15.839 Um, I've been a part of a few weddings. 00:08:16.160 --> 00:08:21.439 And do you know what they tell like a pastor or they ask the pastor, will you do our wedding? 00:08:21.600 --> 00:08:27.199 And in clerical circles, they say, Are you going to officiate that wedding? 00:08:27.439 --> 00:08:29.040 That's the term they use. 00:08:29.360 --> 00:08:33.759 And next time that I get invited to do one, I'm showing up in like a referee's uniform. 00:08:33.919 --> 00:08:35.759 You know, just okay. 00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:44.720 Um, the bride has won the toss and chose to receive the adoration and love of the groom. 00:08:45.120 --> 00:08:53.279 The groom has chosen to defend his honor and dignity until he dies. 00:08:54.080 --> 00:08:56.240 I mean, until death do you part. 00:08:56.720 --> 00:09:09.200 Uh the bride, you have the responsibility from this point forward to help him become a decent uh member of society and mold him into a decent person. 00:09:10.399 --> 00:09:11.840 You're gonna need help. 00:09:12.080 --> 00:09:25.679 Uh the groom, you have been charged with uh taking care of and attempting to understand the most illogical, emotional being that God has ever created. 00:09:27.120 --> 00:09:29.519 I'd give up now if I were you. 00:09:32.399 --> 00:09:41.360 So let's let's have a good match, let's fight fair, let's exchange rings and kiss each other, and let's get on with this thing. 00:09:41.519 --> 00:09:44.320 Just really, yeah, it's true. 00:09:50.240 --> 00:09:56.559 So if that is it, if if that is the officiating, and and it's it seems like a paradise. 00:09:56.639 --> 00:10:01.039 God says, I created this amazing peace, and yet it is a source of trouble. 00:10:01.200 --> 00:10:05.519 I mean, Paul says it's true, it seems like, okay, this is God contradicting himself. 00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:11.840 Unless we get this one word, this one word makes it make sense. 00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:14.879 This one word changes everything. 00:10:15.039 --> 00:10:17.200 And that's the word I want to share with you today. 00:10:17.360 --> 00:10:30.320 And it's not just, I want to encourage you, especially if you're just like, man, I uh if it's on marriage, I ain't coming, I hate marriage, and maybe you've been burned, maybe you're a widow, maybe you're at some other point in life where life just doesn't make sense. 00:10:30.480 --> 00:10:33.279 Well, let me just tell you, this one word changes everything. 00:10:33.679 --> 00:10:35.279 Changes everything. 00:10:35.519 --> 00:10:36.960 And it's a trigger. 00:10:37.279 --> 00:10:48.879 And the trigger is simply this for you and I in this life, in frustration, the trigger is when we have the feeling or thought of, why didn't I get that promotion? 00:10:49.279 --> 00:10:51.279 I'm way more qualified. 00:10:51.759 --> 00:10:53.440 Why did this happen? 00:10:53.600 --> 00:10:55.679 Why did God allow this to happen? 00:10:55.919 --> 00:10:56.960 Why, why, why? 00:10:57.039 --> 00:11:03.279 When we get to that point, and here's the trigger, when we get to that point where we say, I don't understand. 00:11:04.159 --> 00:11:05.600 I don't understand. 00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:12.159 That's the trigger that pulls this God's plan to our frustration together to find fulfillment. 00:11:12.320 --> 00:11:13.120 That is it. 00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:18.080 So I would encourage you this morning, if nothing else, if you miss everything else, don't miss that. 00:11:18.240 --> 00:11:22.960 That when you get to the point in any area of life where you go, I don't understand. 00:11:23.600 --> 00:11:33.360 That word understand is the trigger to capture our minds to this fork in the road where we have to make a decision. 00:11:33.679 --> 00:11:38.000 And this verse, the couple verses I'm going to share, make all the difference in the world. 00:11:38.080 --> 00:11:41.039 And I'm learning it in a whole new way once again. 00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:46.639 In Proverbs chapter 3, verses 5 and 6, he makes a great stimulant. 00:11:46.720 --> 00:11:54.799 It says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 00:11:55.759 --> 00:11:58.879 So when you get to that understanding point, we're like, I don't understand. 00:11:59.039 --> 00:12:00.399 God's like, I know. 00:12:00.799 --> 00:12:02.320 I know, I've got my best. 00:12:02.480 --> 00:12:03.519 You're frustrated. 00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:05.039 Now here's the middle piece. 00:12:05.200 --> 00:12:10.559 In all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your path straight. 00:12:11.039 --> 00:12:14.320 When we get to that fork in the road, we have a fundamental decision. 00:12:14.480 --> 00:12:18.639 I'm going to be frustrated, I'm going to try harder, I'm going to then you fill in the blank. 00:12:18.879 --> 00:12:23.279 Or I'm going to submit to God Himself. 00:12:23.679 --> 00:12:25.200 Not the God out there. 00:12:25.679 --> 00:12:29.679 The God who said, I'm going to become a man and not just a man. 00:12:29.759 --> 00:12:34.080 And just like he walked with the disciples and he talked and he hung out with them. 00:12:34.320 --> 00:12:44.159 He said, When I when I'm resurrected, he says, When I die, I go and I'm going to send you the Holy Spirit, me to live in you, the counselor, the healer. 00:12:44.320 --> 00:12:45.840 I'm going to live with you. 00:12:46.159 --> 00:12:53.120 And we have to make a conscious decision to say, you know what, God, if I want understanding, it's going to come from you. 00:12:53.440 --> 00:12:54.720 And I got to turn to you. 00:12:54.879 --> 00:12:57.200 And it's, and let me give you a practical sense. 00:12:57.360 --> 00:13:01.519 The next time I have that thought and that frustration, I don't understand. 00:13:02.559 --> 00:13:04.799 Put a comma, not a period or an exclamation point. 00:13:04.879 --> 00:13:08.879 And at that comma, go, God, help me. 00:13:09.919 --> 00:13:11.279 Help me get this. 00:13:11.759 --> 00:13:17.519 Next time you're in a marriage and you're in your marriage and your spouse does something that makes no sense. 00:13:17.679 --> 00:13:21.919 This dude is, she is just emotional, she's illogical, she's making no sense. 00:13:22.080 --> 00:13:23.360 Why is she crazy? 00:13:23.679 --> 00:13:25.039 God help. 00:13:25.200 --> 00:13:26.559 I don't understand her. 00:13:27.039 --> 00:13:30.240 And God's like, I know, I know, I made her that way. 00:13:31.759 --> 00:13:34.480 But but I'm going to give you some perspective here. 00:13:34.639 --> 00:13:36.240 And I'm going to teach you the next couple weeks. 00:13:36.320 --> 00:13:38.720 We're going to talk about how that interaction works. 00:13:39.279 --> 00:13:41.519 Or on the other side, he's just such a clod. 00:13:41.840 --> 00:13:47.120 I mean, he he has no feelings, and he's just, he, I, I don't understand him. 00:13:47.600 --> 00:13:50.799 And the husbands are always sitting there going, I know, I don't know, I don't know. 00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:54.000 You know, just that's it. 00:13:54.240 --> 00:13:57.759 And God's saying, Don't lean on your understanding. 00:13:58.080 --> 00:14:01.120 Trust me, don't lean on your understanding. 00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:16.240 Within that, that decision, I want to just clarify that decision because within that we have decisions to make in order for that understanding to fit, to come to life within us. 00:14:16.480 --> 00:14:20.240 And I want to share a couple other Proverbs and uh Psalm with you to do that. 00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:25.600 The first understanding we have to do is we have to desire understanding. 00:14:25.840 --> 00:14:27.919 Not just, oh man, I don't understand. 00:14:28.080 --> 00:14:32.080 Not just acknowledge it, but desire to have understanding. 00:14:32.240 --> 00:14:34.799 Look what he says in Proverbs 4, 7. 00:14:35.039 --> 00:14:39.919 The beginning of wisdom is this get wisdom. 00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:45.440 Though it cost all you have, get understanding. 00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:46.559 Get it. 00:14:46.799 --> 00:14:48.159 No matter what it cost. 00:14:48.720 --> 00:15:04.480 We have to get to that point beyond frustration to where we make a decision and go, God, I know I love this person, or I know that I love working here, or I know whatever, but I don't understand this. 00:15:05.759 --> 00:15:07.120 I'm committed. 00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:08.960 And God, I want you to show me. 00:15:09.120 --> 00:15:10.559 How can I have understanding here? 00:15:10.639 --> 00:15:14.000 How can I have your peace, your perspective, your plan? 00:15:14.639 --> 00:15:15.519 Help me. 00:15:15.759 --> 00:15:16.799 Help me understand this. 00:15:16.879 --> 00:15:17.759 And I desire it. 00:15:17.919 --> 00:15:21.200 Not just desire it from a yeah, if you want to give it to me, give it to me. 00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:26.639 The best way I can analogize this is let me ask this. 00:15:27.039 --> 00:15:32.399 How many, if you're a man, raise your hand if you're a man, if you're a man, okay. 00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:35.679 Do you remember when you were 16 years old? 00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:41.840 What's one of the most desired experiences when you're 16 years old? 00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:46.320 You got your license and you wanted to drive. 00:15:46.559 --> 00:15:47.840 I want to drive. 00:15:48.080 --> 00:15:49.360 I want a car. 00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:51.919 I'll not forget turning 16. 00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:58.080 Right before I turned 16, there's a rule in my house, in my parents' house, that you had to buy your own first car. 00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:00.320 And I'll never forget sitting at dinner one night. 00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:03.039 It was a couple weeks before my birthday, and my dad said, So. 00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:04.320 Turned 16. 00:16:04.399 --> 00:16:05.200 I'm like, yeah. 00:16:05.440 --> 00:16:07.120 He says, Do you want a car? 00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:11.200 And I'm thinking he's had a mental lapse. 00:16:11.840 --> 00:16:13.120 I'm like, yeah. 00:16:13.360 --> 00:16:15.919 And he goes, What kind of car do you think you want? 00:16:16.240 --> 00:16:18.879 And I think, Are you kidding me? 00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:20.320 And he goes, What kind of car? 00:16:20.480 --> 00:16:21.919 If you could have any car, what would you want? 00:16:22.080 --> 00:16:25.360 I'm like, man, he has lost it, but I'm taking advantage of this. 00:16:25.519 --> 00:16:28.240 I said, I would like a Nissan 300 ZX. 00:16:29.039 --> 00:16:31.200 And he was like, Wow, that's awesome. 00:16:31.360 --> 00:16:32.480 I said, I know, right? 00:16:32.639 --> 00:16:36.240 And he's like, How are you gonna pay for that? 00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:38.320 And I was like, what? 00:16:39.120 --> 00:16:39.759 What? 00:16:41.360 --> 00:16:43.120 And it brought me back to the reality. 00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:44.320 And then the frustration came. 00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:48.320 And with my sons, we've told them all along, hey, you gotta buy your own first car. 00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:55.039 But I want to illustrate this way because they wanted, and I remember my boys going, you know, I've got to save up, and I made them a deal. 00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:57.919 I said, listen, whatever you save up, I'm gonna match it. 00:16:58.080 --> 00:16:58.879 I'm gonna match that. 00:16:58.960 --> 00:17:05.119 And man, they started working odd jobs and saving up, and and they're just they are just crazy excited about this. 00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:07.599 My father-in-law, this is one of my favorite parts of this. 00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:10.799 My father-in-law had made a deal with both of my boys. 00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:12.000 He said, Here's the deal. 00:17:12.160 --> 00:17:22.480 If you will wait to kiss a girl till you're 16, until your 16th birthday after, I will give you$500 towards a car. 00:17:23.200 --> 00:17:26.160 And he would check in with them every time we got a how we doing. 00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:28.160 And my oldest son, he's the Romeo. 00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:29.200 He's like, Yeah, I'm done. 00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:30.480 I got nothing. 00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:38.480 My other son, they're 11 months apart. 00:17:38.559 --> 00:17:41.359 And I heard this story later on from my wife. 00:17:41.599 --> 00:17:46.000 He was in eighth grade and then ninth grade, and this one little girl was just like, Man, I really like you. 00:17:46.079 --> 00:17:48.720 And they were kind of sort of boyfriend, girlfriend. 00:17:48.799 --> 00:17:50.400 And finally, he just had the ultimatum. 00:17:50.480 --> 00:17:52.559 He says, Hey, I really like you. 00:17:52.720 --> 00:17:55.759 I'd like to be your boyfriend, but I gotta tell you one condition. 00:17:56.160 --> 00:17:59.599 And she's like, Okay, she said, There's no kissing. 00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:03.039 I got some big money on the line here. 00:18:05.440 --> 00:18:09.680 I get money for a car if I can wait till I'm 16. 00:18:09.759 --> 00:18:10.799 She goes, Oh, that's fine. 00:18:10.880 --> 00:18:11.440 That's okay. 00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:14.240 And I got to thinking about the ramifications of that. 00:18:14.400 --> 00:18:18.480 Can you imagine being that little girl's parents and her going home and telling them that? 00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:21.359 I would, if that was my daughter, I'm like, man, I like this kid. 00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:23.279 This is, I like this kid. 00:18:23.599 --> 00:18:26.000 But he made it 16, he made it. 00:18:26.079 --> 00:18:31.599 And I'm just like, that is what it means by when it says here, though it cost all you have. 00:18:31.920 --> 00:18:35.519 It's that desire that, man, my focus is lasered. 00:18:35.759 --> 00:18:37.200 I want understanding here. 00:18:37.279 --> 00:18:39.759 God, I want your wisdom more than anything. 00:18:39.920 --> 00:18:41.200 I desire it. 00:18:41.599 --> 00:18:54.319 Let the intensity of the frustration become the desire for the understanding and say, wow, I really want God, I do love this person, but I want your understanding here. 00:18:54.559 --> 00:19:03.920 Not only the desire, the second piece is to know understanding, to know understanding in Psalm 119, verse 104. 00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:05.680 This is a massively long book. 00:19:05.839 --> 00:19:07.759 It says, gain understanding. 00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:13.279 I gain understanding from your precepts, therefore I hate every wrong path. 00:19:13.599 --> 00:19:16.799 In other words, Lord, I know your truth. 00:19:17.039 --> 00:19:18.240 I know your truth. 00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:20.000 So I know it. 00:19:20.079 --> 00:19:27.759 And even if it's not related, it's God's word penetrating and marinating in my heart. 00:19:28.000 --> 00:19:36.400 So that when I come to situations, even if they're unrelated, that God within me becomes the clarity in every situation. 00:19:36.640 --> 00:19:39.200 And I I tell you, you're already on the path. 00:19:39.440 --> 00:19:40.240 You're here. 00:19:40.480 --> 00:19:42.400 You're exposing yourself to truth. 00:19:42.559 --> 00:19:45.359 That's his precepts, that's his truth. 00:19:45.759 --> 00:20:05.119 But let me draw a clarification really quickly, because if you're here today and you're not a Christ's follower, you've never invited God into your life, let me just tell you, this is the best you're gonna get is some good ideas from the truth, and they work, but you're you don't have the power to make them become reality. 00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:06.799 That's God within us. 00:20:06.960 --> 00:20:15.039 And the more I read this to the point where you're here, keep listening, get in one of the small groups and talk about it, have a devotion in the morning. 00:20:15.200 --> 00:20:21.599 Right now, my my piece is Lord, I want to be the first piece on my mind is your word. 00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:24.720 And I want to just put the verse of the day. 00:20:24.799 --> 00:20:37.440 I have an app on my Bible, a Bible app, and I flip it on, and the very first thing I do, before I brush my teeth, before I go to the bathroom, before anything, I click on the Bible app, look at the verse of the day, and I read it like two or three times. 00:20:37.599 --> 00:20:39.039 And I try to get in that habit. 00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:42.880 Lord, I want the first piece to be your precepts on my mind. 00:20:43.039 --> 00:20:46.400 And let me tell you, there's mornings where I really have to go badly. 00:20:46.559 --> 00:20:48.480 And I'll be sitting there and I'll get my phone. 00:20:48.559 --> 00:20:50.880 I'm like, okay, okay, come on, come on. 00:20:51.200 --> 00:20:52.559 Golly, come on. 00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:57.839 Um, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, all right. 00:20:57.920 --> 00:21:00.480 Um, pre okay, okay, good, I gotta go. 00:21:00.559 --> 00:21:07.920 You know, and I just, but I come back, I want that word just washing over me on a regular basis. 00:21:08.079 --> 00:21:11.279 I want it to be the first thing, the last thing on my mind, and I want his truth there. 00:21:11.440 --> 00:21:24.720 If I could put it this way, it is, it is the antenna that if we're putting the truth into our minds, into our lives, walking it out, it's not about trying harder. 00:21:24.960 --> 00:21:27.119 Look at the truth now, try to live it. 00:21:27.279 --> 00:21:42.160 It's letting the truth, it's training, it's just putting it in on a regular basis so that when we need to know it, when we get in those points of frustration and being overwhelmed, and I don't get it, it's to go, okay, Lord, help me understand. 00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:45.440 And the reception is so much clearer. 00:21:45.680 --> 00:21:58.079 That voice of God within our hearts, within our lives, that doesn't exist apart from inviting him into our lives becomes clearer and clearer and clearer to where the time to get that understanding is reduced. 00:21:58.160 --> 00:21:59.599 The clarity of that understanding. 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:03.519 Is crystal and knowing that. 00:22:04.319 --> 00:22:09.759 And then the final understanding is to experience understanding. 00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:13.200 So to desire it, know it, and then experience. 00:22:13.359 --> 00:22:20.160 In Psalm 147, 5, it says, Great is our Lord and mighty in power. 00:22:20.480 --> 00:22:24.000 His understanding has no limits. 00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:26.319 No limits. 00:22:27.279 --> 00:22:31.759 In that place where I have the ideals in mind and yet I'm living in the frustration. 00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:37.359 If I'll come to the God who has understanding that knows no limits and say, God, I'm going to stop. 00:22:38.480 --> 00:22:40.400 I'm going to ask for help. 00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:42.480 And then I'm going to listen. 00:22:43.119 --> 00:22:48.559 And in those moments, and I know they can get intense, to just go, God, what do you have here? 00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:54.640 What do you have here in this situation for me with this specific frustration? 00:22:54.799 --> 00:22:56.640 What do you want to teach me here? 00:22:56.880 --> 00:22:58.640 What do you want to teach me now? 00:22:58.880 --> 00:23:04.559 And if I wait and listen, the clarity of that becomes crystal clear. 00:23:06.240 --> 00:23:13.039 If I could draw it in a picture this way, so many people look at relationships and all they see is the frustrating part. 00:23:13.920 --> 00:23:15.440 And that's a shame. 00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:20.079 Because I mean, I've told my wife several times, and it was kind of a breakthrough for us. 00:23:20.319 --> 00:23:23.119 We were talking, and I said, But you know, you just seem on edge. 00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:25.839 And she goes, Well, I feel like I frustrate you. 00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:30.400 And she goes, I hate that I frustrate you, and I know you're frustrated because I've known you for long. 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:31.839 I know I frustrate you. 00:23:31.920 --> 00:23:33.839 And I go, honey, you do. 00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:34.799 You do. 00:23:36.079 --> 00:23:39.279 I mean, you you frustrate the crap out of me. 00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:42.960 But it's about 3% of the time. 00:23:43.519 --> 00:23:45.759 I mean, literally, you're different. 00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:48.640 And you do frustrate me, but it's this much. 00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:53.839 And 3%, that means 97% of the time, I really do love every part about you. 00:23:54.400 --> 00:23:56.799 The frustrating part, you're spontaneous. 00:23:57.039 --> 00:23:58.000 And I love that. 00:23:58.079 --> 00:23:59.200 And that's different from me. 00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:02.240 And I learn from that, and I get the perspective of that. 00:24:02.400 --> 00:24:04.640 And I've learned to appreciate that. 00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:08.160 And I said, but I don't get hung up on that anymore. 00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:21.519 And the problem is we can get so caught up, we have this idea of perfection and soulmates and what movies say and what TV and what our society feeds us. 00:24:21.680 --> 00:24:24.559 And then we have reality and we get frustrated. 00:24:25.039 --> 00:24:31.759 But the truth is, when we take and say, God, I desire your understanding. 00:24:31.920 --> 00:24:41.599 I'm going to know your truth, and I want to experience, I want to experience your understanding in every area of life, specifically in marriage. 00:24:41.839 --> 00:24:52.559 Then we start experiencing fulfillment and joy and peace and meaning and all that which is good that our hearts desire that come from God alone. 00:24:53.440 --> 00:24:59.839 If I could give this as an illustration for it, there's a couple I know, sharp couple. 00:25:00.319 --> 00:25:06.000 He's an executive and a very successful, she's an administrator and incredible. 00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:10.880 And they've been married for years and they had no kids, and that can be a touchy subject. 00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:16.720 And after several years, he and I were having lunch, and I said, Can I ask you a personal question? 00:25:16.960 --> 00:25:18.000 He said, sure. 00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:23.519 And I said, I've just always wondered, you guys are such great people, and you're so great with kids. 00:25:23.759 --> 00:25:25.519 Why don't you have kids? 00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:27.680 And he goes, Oh, that's easy. 00:25:27.839 --> 00:25:34.720 And I could tell from the flippancy, it wasn't the idea of we can't get pregnant, because that's that's a very hard issue. 00:25:34.960 --> 00:25:36.160 But he goes, that's easy. 00:25:36.319 --> 00:25:37.200 And I said, Really? 00:25:37.359 --> 00:25:38.319 And he goes, Yeah. 00:25:39.119 --> 00:25:42.960 I cannot stand the idea of diapers. 00:25:44.079 --> 00:25:46.480 And I was like, Are you serious? 00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:47.440 And he goes, yeah. 00:25:47.599 --> 00:25:49.920 I mean, that's just that's disgusting. 00:25:51.359 --> 00:25:55.599 And I said, you don't have kids because of diapers. 00:25:55.759 --> 00:25:56.640 And he goes, yeah. 00:25:56.799 --> 00:25:59.440 I mean, I just that just wigs me out. 00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:03.279 I just can't, I can't grasp even having to deal with that. 00:26:03.519 --> 00:26:05.359 And I said, that's the whole reason you don't have. 00:26:05.680 --> 00:26:11.039 I said, you realize that that is like a tiny piece of having kids. 00:26:11.279 --> 00:26:13.680 He goes, yeah, but it's just it's gross. 00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:21.039 And I said, you know, on a regular day, you're talking about maybe four, maybe five diapers when they're little? 00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:24.079 Maybe two, three minutes once you get good at them. 00:26:24.240 --> 00:26:28.240 It's like kind of a pit stop, just there you go. 00:26:28.400 --> 00:26:36.799 I mean, you get really good at it, and you're you're you're doing, I said, you realize they don't poop in their pants forever, right? 00:26:36.960 --> 00:26:38.160 You know this, right? 00:26:38.640 --> 00:26:42.480 So about two to three years, they stop that whole thing. 00:26:42.799 --> 00:26:50.000 And then I said, the smile and the interaction and just life that you get to experience these kids. 00:26:50.160 --> 00:26:53.200 I said, do you not see how amazing kids are? 00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:55.440 He goes, yeah, but diapers. 00:26:57.920 --> 00:27:10.559 He's missing the amazing joy, unbelievable fulfillment, life lessons because of eight minutes a day for a couple years. 00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:13.119 And I just want to go, wow, you're missing it. 00:27:13.359 --> 00:27:25.359 And I'm afraid that some of us, and I've had a season where I'm missing, I'm missing the fulfillment because all I do is get frustrated and I don't stop and say, God, I want your understanding. 00:27:25.599 --> 00:27:27.920 I I want to know your understanding. 00:27:28.240 --> 00:27:31.119 I desire, and I got to get to that desire point. 00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:35.279 Like, God, I want your best more than I want to be right. 00:27:35.759 --> 00:27:40.160 I want your best more than I want to feel a certain way. 00:27:40.240 --> 00:27:41.599 I want your best. 00:27:41.839 --> 00:27:46.559 And if we'll get to that point, marriage starts becoming really fulfilling. 00:27:46.640 --> 00:27:49.680 And here's the cool part, and I want to end with the singles in mind. 00:27:49.920 --> 00:27:52.400 You start that habit now of going, you know what? 00:27:52.559 --> 00:27:59.759 I'm frustrated, I stop and I ask God for help, and I seek his wisdom and his understanding. 00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:03.920 Then you are on a path for the greatest relationships ever. 00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:07.359 I want to pray, and then I want to give you a little bit of insight for next week. 00:28:07.440 --> 00:28:07.839 Let's pray. 00:28:08.079 --> 00:28:09.920