WEBVTT 00:00:01.760 --> 00:00:04.240 Thanks for listening to the His Hands Church podcast. 00:00:04.400 --> 00:00:12.800 If you're using the His Hands Church mobile app, please turn off the auto lock on your phone's general settings so that you can listen to the message uninterrupted. 00:00:13.039 --> 00:00:15.919 And thank you for being part of what God is doing at His Hands. 00:00:16.640 --> 00:00:17.920 Well, good morning. 00:00:18.320 --> 00:00:26.960 There's a scripture where God is giving a prophecy about a time when his relationship with us is going to look very different than it had before. 00:00:27.199 --> 00:00:30.719 And he says that they will be my people and I will be their God. 00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:39.439 So that last line where it says, you know, I'm yours and you're mine, it's man, it's just such a reminder to me that he's not God, he's my God. 00:00:40.079 --> 00:00:44.240 And he doesn't look at us and see people, he sees his people. 00:00:44.560 --> 00:00:49.039 And it's incredible that we don't just belong to him, but he belongs to us too. 00:00:49.119 --> 00:00:51.359 And that's what he wanted because he gave himself to us. 00:00:51.439 --> 00:00:52.960 So that's that's just that's incredible. 00:00:53.039 --> 00:00:53.840 Let's pray. 00:00:54.159 --> 00:00:59.920 Jesus, thank you so much that you uh that you belong to us because you gave yourself to us. 00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:01.280 Thank you that we can come to you. 00:01:01.439 --> 00:01:09.120 Thank you that no matter what's going on, no matter uh no matter what waves we might be facing, you are there for us. 00:01:09.359 --> 00:01:14.239 You're there for us to look to, and even if we sink a little bit, you're there to pick us up. 00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:16.159 And Jesus, we just uh we love you. 00:01:16.239 --> 00:01:17.120 We pray that you'd speak to us. 00:01:17.280 --> 00:01:23.920 Holy Spirit, speak uh speak right to our hearts this morning and give us whatever it is we need uh to have the life that you put us on this earth to have. 00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:25.599 And we pray for this in your name, Jesus. 00:01:25.840 --> 00:01:26.480 Amen. 00:01:27.439 --> 00:01:28.959 Well, I've got a couple of quick announcements. 00:01:29.200 --> 00:01:32.959 It's actually uh it's actually appropriate in a way that we had such crazy weather this week. 00:01:33.040 --> 00:01:35.680 We are really, we're really blessed to have this facility. 00:01:35.840 --> 00:01:47.439 And uh the Red Cross has has used our facility as their official shelter in Cherokee County in case there's ever a major emergency, and I think this weekend is a good reminder that you never know when something like that can happen. 00:01:47.519 --> 00:01:50.000 You know, you think in December, tornadoes, no way. 00:01:50.239 --> 00:01:51.840 But anything can happen like that. 00:01:51.920 --> 00:01:56.719 And so uh we we've always wanted this facility to bless this community, and the Red Cross really helps us with that. 00:01:56.879 --> 00:02:06.319 And so on Saturday, which is January 18th, the Red Cross is gonna be having a drill here to train their volunteers on how to use our facility in case something like that ever happens. 00:02:06.400 --> 00:02:12.560 And it would really benefit them to have some of our people here that already already know the building, are already familiar with where things are. 00:02:12.719 --> 00:02:19.360 Uh that way, if they say things like, I think that's in the sanctuary, we can say the you mean the big room, you mean okay, we can just we know the lingo, we can we can help them out. 00:02:19.439 --> 00:02:24.400 And so if you're available to be here on Saturday morning, you can sign up for that at the Connect Desk. 00:02:24.479 --> 00:02:26.159 You'll see a sign that says Red Cross. 00:02:26.240 --> 00:02:29.919 Just sign up there with Cheryl and they'll give you all the information that you need. 00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:34.000 Uh also at the Connect Desk after we're done, you can sign up to be part of some of our teams. 00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:35.599 We have incredible volunteers. 00:02:35.759 --> 00:02:39.520 Almost everyone I know here, I've gotten to know because you're helping out. 00:02:39.599 --> 00:02:40.479 You're a volunteer. 00:02:40.639 --> 00:02:43.599 And this month we're kind of talking about our Sunday support teams. 00:02:43.759 --> 00:02:52.479 Those of us that get here a little bit early on Sundays, maybe like 9.30 or a little earlier than that at the at the absolute earliest, or stay a little late to help make Sunday happen. 00:02:52.560 --> 00:03:04.719 It takes a lot of people to make every Sunday happen to make sure that people show up and things like lights are turned on, coffee is made, there's people there to welcome you and to greet you, there's ushers to help people find a place to sit. 00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:11.919 And those are things that it's very easy to take for granted, but they're big things and they're important things that add so much to the love that people feel when they're here. 00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:24.800 If you're able to be on one of those teams and to help out, to come just a little early on a Sunday, whether it's welcome team or coffee team, just go and sign up at the Connect Desk and they will get you to the volunteer coordinator that'll get you on the schedule. 00:03:24.879 --> 00:03:25.919 You'll be helping out in no time. 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:27.680 You'll meet some great people as well. 00:03:27.840 --> 00:03:28.639 You really will. 00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:32.159 Um also want to say a big thank you to everyone that helps us financially. 00:03:32.479 --> 00:03:33.360 We we really need that. 00:03:33.439 --> 00:03:38.719 We don't pass a plate if you're new, we don't ever pressure anyone to give, but it's it's how we keep going. 00:03:38.800 --> 00:03:41.280 It's how we do what we do, and we need it. 00:03:41.680 --> 00:03:50.319 This uh this last month and a half, two months has been it's been really interesting for my wife and I financially because we have we have Christmas, which is always a financial adventure for all of us, right? 00:03:50.479 --> 00:03:55.919 We have Christmas, uh, we have a new baby and a new house, all happening within a month and a half of each other. 00:03:56.159 --> 00:03:57.759 And and that's just the way it would be. 00:03:57.840 --> 00:04:00.800 You know, that's not the way we planned it, but that's just how God is sometimes. 00:04:00.960 --> 00:04:02.400 And it's all happening at once. 00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:06.159 And so I I have never been like a business person or anything. 00:04:06.240 --> 00:04:09.840 I don't understand things like cash flow very often, okay? 00:04:10.240 --> 00:04:11.759 But I'm learning now. 00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:23.519 And uh, and this last month and a half, it's it's sometimes you just have these moments where you know money's coming and going and it's stressful and it's hard, and you start to look at what you're spending and you start to ask those questions that are natural questions. 00:04:23.759 --> 00:04:25.360 Well, can we can we afford this? 00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:25.920 Can we do this? 00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:27.279 And and giving comes up sometimes. 00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:31.040 You know, hey, is this a month that we should, you know, should we should we give this month? 00:04:31.120 --> 00:04:32.319 Should we put it off till next month? 00:04:32.399 --> 00:04:34.560 Yeah, we'll make it up next month or give a little less. 00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:38.720 But God has made it so clear to me that I can just trust Him with my finances. 00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:43.439 And so, you know, we decided as a family that we're gonna give even whenever it's hard. 00:04:43.759 --> 00:04:45.199 And and He blesses that. 00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:48.079 And He's blessed it for us, and we've made it, and we're not homeless. 00:04:48.160 --> 00:04:50.560 We live with her parents, so we're not homeless, right? 00:04:51.680 --> 00:04:52.720 We're good. 00:04:54.160 --> 00:04:55.839 Everything's worked out. 00:04:56.560 --> 00:05:06.000 And I and all joking aside, God is so good and He's provided everything we need, and we have just learned that if He calls us to give something that we give. 00:05:06.240 --> 00:05:08.240 And it and it blesses others and it blesses us. 00:05:08.319 --> 00:05:13.279 And so if you feel, you know, let do that, whatever God's told you to do, just obey and listen because He will bless it. 00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:17.439 The four columns in the back of the room are where you can do that, or you can go online and do it there as well. 00:05:17.680 --> 00:05:18.319 All right. 00:05:18.480 --> 00:05:19.519 I know we already prayed. 00:05:19.600 --> 00:05:20.560 Can we pray one more time? 00:05:21.120 --> 00:05:21.920 Okay, thanks. 00:05:22.079 --> 00:05:24.800 Uh Jesus, you are good. 00:05:25.360 --> 00:05:26.240 You are so good. 00:05:26.319 --> 00:05:34.639 And so uh we just pray that over the next few minutes, as we look into your word, that you would speak to us, that you would challenge us and grow us and help us come together as a family. 00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:36.800 And we again ask all this in your name, Jesus. 00:05:36.959 --> 00:05:37.600 Amen. 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:39.600 Two prayers can't hurt. 00:05:39.839 --> 00:05:43.040 Well, last week, last week we kicked off 2014 together. 00:05:43.199 --> 00:05:46.560 We talked about how we want this to be a year of abundant joy. 00:05:46.720 --> 00:05:52.639 We want this to be a joyful year, and another way to say that is really simply we want to enjoy this year. 00:05:52.879 --> 00:05:55.439 I want this to be a year that I enjoy. 00:05:55.680 --> 00:06:03.680 So that's kind of how we kicked off the year, and it's very normal for organizations, for companies, businesses, or whatever to begin a year with a theme. 00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:10.319 It might be a simple word or it might be a phrase, and it just sort of meant to get everyone together, to kind of galvanize everyone together. 00:06:10.560 --> 00:06:11.360 You see that a lot. 00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:14.800 When I was in high school, my high school basketball coach loved themes. 00:06:14.959 --> 00:06:19.519 Every single season began with a theme, and there was always a t-shirt to go along with that theme. 00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:25.120 So, my senior year, the theme for our team was uh Big Team Little Me. 00:06:25.519 --> 00:06:26.879 That was the theme for that year. 00:06:27.040 --> 00:06:28.560 Big team little me. 00:06:28.720 --> 00:06:29.759 And it was a great theme. 00:06:29.839 --> 00:06:35.600 We had a lot of really good players on the team, and everyone could have been really selfish and just focused on themselves, and he wanted us to have a team mentality. 00:06:35.759 --> 00:06:36.959 Great, great theme. 00:06:37.120 --> 00:06:39.920 The t-shirt, though, not so great. 00:06:41.439 --> 00:06:42.959 The t-shirt was a little abstract. 00:06:43.040 --> 00:06:45.120 This is what it said on the t-shirt. 00:06:45.199 --> 00:06:47.279 It said team me. 00:06:47.600 --> 00:06:48.079 Team me. 00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:49.040 You're gonna see it on the screens. 00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:52.800 It said team me, and the the thing is, can you guys put that up on the screens real quick? 00:06:52.959 --> 00:06:53.839 It said team me. 00:06:53.920 --> 00:06:54.399 There we go. 00:06:54.639 --> 00:06:55.199 There we go. 00:06:55.360 --> 00:06:56.240 Team me. 00:06:57.040 --> 00:06:58.720 Now, it was abstract, right? 00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:01.680 What he was communicating is big team little me. 00:07:02.399 --> 00:07:03.120 And you see that. 00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:05.920 The the team is bigger than me. 00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:11.519 But the me couldn't be so small that you couldn't read it, right? 00:07:11.600 --> 00:07:24.319 And it was very important to our coach that we wear these t-shirts to school, that we wear them to every single game when we travel, and that when we're when we're out in the community, he told us, you're not just a team here at school, you're not just a team in this gym, you're a team when you're at the mall, wear your t-shirts. 00:07:24.399 --> 00:07:26.639 And so we had to wear these t-shirts. 00:07:26.879 --> 00:07:30.000 And even though I got it, it made a lot of sense to me, it was meaningful. 00:07:30.079 --> 00:07:30.879 No one else understood that. 00:07:30.959 --> 00:07:35.279 So you're walking around with a t-shirt that says T me, and everyone thinks you're an arrogant jerk. 00:07:37.680 --> 00:07:43.199 And I just I clearly remember walking around and seeing looks that people would give us at the mall or someplace like that. 00:07:43.360 --> 00:07:44.319 Like, what is wrong with them? 00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:52.399 And I'd explain it to a few people, you know, I'd say, hey, well, okay, team is bigger, me, it's it's about big team, little me, and after a while I just gave up. 00:07:53.199 --> 00:07:57.519 Every year I would hold onto those shirts, they meant a lot to me, but that year when the season was done, that one was gone. 00:07:57.680 --> 00:07:58.399 It was gone. 00:07:58.639 --> 00:08:03.519 It's not like it'd fit me anyway if I had it today, but it was a great theme. 00:08:03.759 --> 00:08:05.920 Just a bad shirt, but a great, great theme. 00:08:06.079 --> 00:08:13.040 And generally we don't kick the year off with themes here at his hands, and a lot of times that's just because you can just create a theme for the sake of having one. 00:08:13.279 --> 00:08:15.279 So you're like, oh, wait, it's a new year, we have to have a theme. 00:08:15.360 --> 00:08:15.920 What's it gonna be? 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:26.959 And we've tried to avoid that, but this year's a little different because God has made it abundantly clear to us what what we're supposed to be focusing on as a family, as a church family to begin this year. 00:08:27.120 --> 00:08:31.360 And don't worry, we do not have any cheesy t-shirts that we're gonna ask you guys to go by the source and grab. 00:08:31.439 --> 00:08:32.080 That hasn't happened. 00:08:32.159 --> 00:08:33.039 You don't have to do that. 00:08:33.279 --> 00:08:43.200 But we know that what God wants for us this year, as a church, as his hands, is for us to come together, for us to grow close together as friends. 00:08:43.759 --> 00:08:46.720 That this is a year that God wants us to grow close together. 00:08:46.799 --> 00:08:50.000 And that's something that I am really excited about. 00:08:50.080 --> 00:08:57.440 Uh, in February, mid-February, we're gonna be kicking off a brand new approach to small groups, something we've never really done here the way that we're going to be doing it. 00:08:57.679 --> 00:08:58.399 And that's why. 00:08:58.559 --> 00:09:01.039 It's because God wants us to come together as friends. 00:09:01.120 --> 00:09:12.639 And it's gonna be a new approach that allows all of us to make great friends, to have great, close friendships with the people that are in this room right now, the people that are part of our church family. 00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:16.879 And it's gonna be friendships that encourage you, it's gonna be friendships that challenge you, that help you grow. 00:09:16.960 --> 00:09:20.720 And I'm personally excited about it because it's something that I need. 00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:28.320 On February 2nd, we'll be announcing all of the specifics and all of the details of that, exactly how it's gonna work. 00:09:28.799 --> 00:09:36.080 And for the next few weeks, we just want to talk about how important friendships and relationships are to God for us. 00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:45.279 I was meeting with Steve earlier this week, and we were talking about how we're gonna how we're gonna talk about this, and and the whole concept of just talking about how important friends are to God came up. 00:09:45.519 --> 00:09:47.200 And so, okay, that's what we're gonna focus on. 00:09:47.279 --> 00:09:52.559 I started kind of preparing for that and and researching some stuff and looking at stuff, reading the Bible and seeing what it has to say. 00:09:52.639 --> 00:09:56.320 And and it seemed like this would just be this really simple, easy message. 00:09:56.399 --> 00:10:10.320 Oh, God wants to have friends, just say hi to people and all that, but it's actually surprising how much Scripture teaches us about the importance of friends and how it challenges us to have the right kinds of friends. 00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:17.279 And it even challenges us to make difficult decisions in order to make sure that we have those friends in our lives. 00:10:17.440 --> 00:10:20.159 We talked about enjoying 2014 together last week. 00:10:20.320 --> 00:10:30.240 There is no decision you can make that will ensure that you have the best chance of enjoying this year more than the decision to have great friends, godly friends. 00:10:30.320 --> 00:10:32.159 It affects every part of our life. 00:10:32.320 --> 00:10:40.639 Bill Cosby has kind of a famous saying and it's pulled from Proverbs, but he says, Show me your five closest friends and I'll show you your future. 00:10:40.879 --> 00:10:43.840 Show me your five closest friends and I'll show you your future. 00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:47.440 Two years ago, Steve did a message on Proverbs, or a whole series rather on Proverbs. 00:10:47.519 --> 00:10:50.799 It's called The Choice, and we have some copies of that over in the source. 00:10:50.879 --> 00:10:53.600 If you ever want to go grab them, it says The Choice, it's all about Proverbs. 00:10:53.759 --> 00:10:55.600 A lot of great messages in that series. 00:10:55.679 --> 00:11:01.919 And of all the series we've ever done, it's the one that I remember the most clearly, probably because it was so practical. 00:11:02.159 --> 00:11:04.879 I mean, it's extremely, extremely practical. 00:11:05.039 --> 00:11:09.519 Every single Sunday you could walk away and have something to apply to your life right then. 00:11:09.919 --> 00:11:11.200 And that's really how it should be. 00:11:11.279 --> 00:11:13.840 I mean, we we want to experience something profound, right? 00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:16.799 Something that changes the way we think about things in life and God. 00:11:17.440 --> 00:11:24.000 But there's not much that can top something that you can just walk away from and start doing and see the results in your life. 00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:27.360 And Jesus had an incredible way of doing both at the same time. 00:11:27.600 --> 00:11:29.200 And so that series really stuck out to me. 00:11:29.279 --> 00:11:40.399 And there were there were messages on hard work, but the one that the one that was the most clear in my mind after it was done, the one that I remember the best, was the message on friends. 00:11:40.879 --> 00:11:46.399 I remember there was a story that Steve shared about uh being in a young executive program at the company he was at at the time, he was really young. 00:11:46.480 --> 00:11:49.360 It was Steve, it was a company called Dunham Bradstreet. 00:11:49.600 --> 00:11:51.600 I actually didn't, I'd never known how to type that. 00:11:51.759 --> 00:11:56.960 I've heard him talk about that company, so I searched it online and I thought it was Dunham, like D-U-N-H-A-M Bradstreet. 00:11:57.039 --> 00:11:58.480 And I'm like, this company doesn't exist. 00:11:58.639 --> 00:12:01.840 Steve has been lying the entire time to me. 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:06.080 It was a dummy corporation, you know, set up to no, but it was, I just spelled it wrong. 00:12:06.240 --> 00:12:16.240 Um so I looked it up and and you know, he's in this young executive program, and and one of the first days that they met, the president of the company, the president of the company came to share with them. 00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:22.399 And this is his first opportunity to talk to them about what they need to do to be successful in this company. 00:12:22.480 --> 00:12:33.919 And you would think the typical things to talk about would be, you know, working late, long hours, put in extra effort, go the extra mile, or just work yourself to the bone, outpace everyone around you, but that is not what he talked about. 00:12:34.240 --> 00:12:35.679 He talked about friends. 00:12:35.919 --> 00:12:42.080 And he said that if you want to succeed in this company, it greatly depends on the people in this company you decide to be friends with. 00:12:42.320 --> 00:12:51.919 And I just remember that struck me because I wouldn't expect that to be something that some high-level executive would talk to with this group of people that he sees as future leaders in his company. 00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:54.320 That friends, that's where you start. 00:12:54.480 --> 00:12:56.080 And I've shared that story with a lot of people. 00:12:56.159 --> 00:12:57.679 Usually I shared as if it was my story. 00:12:57.759 --> 00:13:01.679 I'm like, when I was a young executive training in, I'm just joking, I don't do that, but I could. 00:13:02.559 --> 00:13:05.039 I actually shared it with a good friend of mine named Zach not that long ago. 00:13:05.120 --> 00:13:10.240 We were in a car and we were just talking about friends, and I was like, oh man, that reminds me of this story, you know, about Proverbs. 00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:13.840 So this is something that that is extremely important. 00:13:14.320 --> 00:13:17.519 And it's something that God speaks about so much in his word. 00:13:17.679 --> 00:13:24.720 You know, the book of Proverbs, that that book that Steve did the whole series on, that book is the wisest collection of sayings that have ever existed. 00:13:24.799 --> 00:13:28.159 It's the wisest things anyone's ever thought of, not named Jesus. 00:13:28.399 --> 00:13:30.320 And it's not a very long book. 00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:31.440 It's not. 00:13:31.519 --> 00:13:33.759 If you ever just get Proverbs, it's short. 00:13:34.000 --> 00:13:37.200 You could read it easily in a day, not even have a problem with it. 00:13:37.360 --> 00:13:42.799 But even though it's very short, Solomon, the man that wrote it, devotes a lot of real estate to the topic of friends. 00:13:42.960 --> 00:13:46.799 So this is obviously something that is very, very important to God. 00:13:48.559 --> 00:13:54.480 God wants us to value friendships, He wants us to recognize the importance and the value of friendships. 00:13:54.559 --> 00:13:56.480 And there's so much in Proverbs that tells us about that. 00:13:56.559 --> 00:14:03.759 For example, Proverbs 25, 13 says, reliable friends who do what they say are like cool drinks in sweltering heat. 00:14:04.080 --> 00:14:04.879 Refreshing. 00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:06.559 Good friends are reliable. 00:14:06.879 --> 00:14:09.440 And when you spend time with them, it refreshes you. 00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:14.879 Proverbs 18, 24 says, a real friend sticks closer than a brother. 00:14:16.399 --> 00:14:18.399 Great friends are people we can depend on. 00:14:19.039 --> 00:14:23.919 Proverbs 17, 17 says, friends love through all kinds of weather. 00:14:24.159 --> 00:14:27.440 When you have a great friend, they love you when life is going well. 00:14:27.600 --> 00:14:29.519 When life is not going well, they love you. 00:14:29.600 --> 00:14:33.919 And oftentimes it's that love that helps you get through the tough seasons in life. 00:14:34.159 --> 00:14:40.559 Proverbs 27, 9 says the heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense. 00:14:40.799 --> 00:14:42.960 When we have a great friend, they don't have an agenda. 00:14:43.039 --> 00:14:44.480 They're not trying to get something from us. 00:14:44.960 --> 00:14:48.320 When they give us counsel, when they give us advice, it's because they want to help. 00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:49.840 They care about us. 00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:56.720 Proverbs 27, 17 says, as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. 00:14:56.960 --> 00:14:59.519 In other words, great friends make us better. 00:14:59.600 --> 00:15:02.159 They make us better versions of ourselves. 00:15:02.399 --> 00:15:08.080 Great friends give us wisdom, they give us counsel, they give us advice, they're not afraid to hold us accountable. 00:15:08.399 --> 00:15:14.159 No, great friends not going to criticize you for criticism's sake, but they're not gonna be afraid to tell you the truth when you need to hear it. 00:15:14.320 --> 00:15:20.480 Proverbs 27, 6 says, wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. 00:15:21.279 --> 00:15:27.440 When we have a friend that we know loves us, when they criticize us or give us some coaching might be a better word. 00:15:28.240 --> 00:15:29.519 We don't get upset. 00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:36.720 We might naturally react a little upset, but we know where they're coming from, and we know that that is more valuable to us than some compliment from a random stranger. 00:15:37.120 --> 00:15:42.799 Proverbs 25, 11 says the right word at the right time is like a custom-made piece of jewelry, something I've never owned. 00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:48.960 And a wise friend's timely reprimand is like a gold ring slipped on your finger. 00:15:49.200 --> 00:15:53.759 You know, a wise friend's timely reprimand, it's valuable. 00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:57.919 Great friendships are something that God values incredibly highly for us. 00:15:58.000 --> 00:16:01.759 And you know, it's interesting, you don't find a lot of Proverbs about self-reliance. 00:16:02.639 --> 00:16:11.120 You won't read the book of Proverbs and see a lot of advice about just doing things on your own and avoiding people and telling people just to go away because you've got it. 00:16:11.279 --> 00:16:14.399 Self-reliance is something that doesn't really work that often. 00:16:14.639 --> 00:16:25.039 And in our society today, we can kind of trick ourselves to believe that it does because we don't know the person that provides the food that we buy, and we don't know the people that make sure we have water when we turn our sinks on. 00:16:25.120 --> 00:16:28.960 We just sort of live believing that all that happens and it turned on because I turned it on. 00:16:29.039 --> 00:16:30.320 You know, that's why. 00:16:30.720 --> 00:16:34.480 But in Jesus' day and in the ancient times when Solomon wrote this, that was not how it was. 00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:37.519 You knew exactly who you depended on in order to survive. 00:16:37.679 --> 00:16:39.679 Everyone knew that they needed other people. 00:16:39.840 --> 00:16:41.600 Self-reliance didn't really exist. 00:16:41.679 --> 00:16:43.919 You couldn't live without other people. 00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:45.360 And it's no different for us. 00:16:45.519 --> 00:16:46.480 Self-reliance is a myth. 00:16:46.559 --> 00:16:56.159 It's amazing how many of the big mistakes I've made in life happen when I'm trying to do something by myself that I was not meant to do by myself. 00:16:56.320 --> 00:16:57.919 You know, it's big things and it's little things. 00:16:58.000 --> 00:17:04.319 I remember when I when I went to college, my two best friends, Dwayne and Ryan, they were brothers, and they were they were football players on our team. 00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:07.200 One was the strong safety, and the other was the star wide receiver. 00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:09.920 And uh, I don't know if you've ever seen the movie Ice Age, it's a kids' movie. 00:17:10.079 --> 00:17:14.000 There's three friends there's a woolly mammoth and a saber-tooth tiger, and they're like really strong. 00:17:14.079 --> 00:17:19.039 And then there's Sid, who is a slough, you know, and he doesn't quite fit. 00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:20.960 And that was me with Dwayne and Ryan. 00:17:21.440 --> 00:17:21.759 Okay? 00:17:22.400 --> 00:17:26.880 I mean, I'd played basketball, but that's a finesse game, and these guys were, they were just strong, big guys. 00:17:27.039 --> 00:17:32.960 Dwayne was like six foot four, they were much stronger than I was, and they invited me to go to the gym with them one day. 00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:37.200 So I said, yeah, let's, yeah, absolutely. 00:17:37.359 --> 00:17:39.200 I love weights. 00:17:39.359 --> 00:17:40.559 Let's do this. 00:17:40.880 --> 00:17:41.200 Okay? 00:17:43.759 --> 00:17:47.920 And so I went to the gym, and I I had not spent much time in a gym prior to that. 00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:49.839 I just hadn't, not with weights and things like that. 00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:56.319 So there were a lot of machines that I just had no idea what they did, what muscles they worked, or how you even got onto them. 00:17:56.480 --> 00:18:00.240 I just sort of, I just sort of followed them around and did what they did. 00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:02.000 And eventually I started to learn some things. 00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:09.359 You know, I learned some lingo, some things that I could be in a gym and be like, hey, uh, you need those 45s, or you know, you know, okay, yeah, no problem. 00:18:09.440 --> 00:18:15.200 Yeah, I had some things I could say, my confidence started to build up, and eventually I decided to go to the gym by myself one day. 00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:20.720 I was that, I was that brave, and I was actually excited about it because A, I knew it would be much more efficient. 00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:31.839 I spent a lot of time working out with them, just taking the weight they had on off before I could lift mine, which wasn't very good for my ego because it was kind of like, okay, it's Justin's turn now. 00:18:31.920 --> 00:18:32.319 Here, take that. 00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:33.519 Yay, Justin, you're doing it. 00:18:33.599 --> 00:18:34.079 Good job. 00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:35.519 Yay, you know. 00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:42.160 But but I went by myself, and I'm here, I'm I'm by myself in this gym. 00:18:42.240 --> 00:18:46.160 There's all these other guys around me that are much stronger, and I want to earn my man card, you know. 00:18:46.240 --> 00:18:50.160 So I decide I'm gonna get on this bench press and I'm gonna do the most weight that I know I can do. 00:18:50.240 --> 00:18:51.839 And I had lifted this weight before. 00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:54.000 I had done this before. 00:18:54.160 --> 00:18:59.599 I knew I was strong enough to do this, and I thought, hey, if I wanna, if I wanna look like I'm holding my own out here, I gotta do this. 00:18:59.680 --> 00:19:12.400 So I get on and I lift it, and I had my man card immediately revoked because uh as soon as it got off the bar, it comes down, I'm pinned and stuck, and I just had to go like help someone help me. 00:19:15.440 --> 00:19:27.279 And I'll never forget, because this really, really strong guy wearing a shirt two sizes too small, came up and just grabbed it and picked it up, and he's like, son, don't ever lift without a spotter. 00:19:27.359 --> 00:19:28.960 And I was like, uh, yeah, my he's late. 00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:30.240 I'm yeah, I know. 00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:41.279 I thought it was it was so embarrassing, it was so embarrassing, and you know what's interesting, that never would have happened if I just would have gone with my friends. 00:19:42.079 --> 00:19:54.400 And what's really funny is that I could lift that amount of weight with them, just the knowledge that their hands were there in case it fell, and the confidence that that gave me was enough to give me a little extra strength. 00:19:54.480 --> 00:19:58.319 But without them, when I was trying to be self-reliant, I couldn't do it. 00:19:59.039 --> 00:20:01.119 And there's something for that in all of us. 00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:10.160 We can look at our lives and say, hey, I I messed up here and I messed up there, and how many times was it at a time when I didn't ask someone for advice, even though they were around? 00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:18.720 Or times that I just I killed myself working to the bone when I could have just asked for some help, and it would have been so much easier. 00:20:19.119 --> 00:20:23.680 We've had to move a few times in the last month, and I've just gotten over it and asked my friends to help. 00:20:23.759 --> 00:20:24.960 Everyone loves that call from a friend. 00:20:25.119 --> 00:20:26.160 Hey, you have a truck, right? 00:20:26.319 --> 00:20:31.920 Okay, can you please come to my house and potentially injure your back to help me out? 00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:33.839 That's what that phone call means. 00:20:34.079 --> 00:20:38.880 But you know what's been great is last week I had a bunch of friends that showed up and helped with that. 00:20:39.200 --> 00:20:43.039 And it took us three hours when it would have taken me three days. 00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:45.119 I just needed some friends. 00:20:45.759 --> 00:20:48.960 Life works better when we have friends, life works better. 00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:54.799 We're healthier, we're more equipped to deal with whatever life throws at us when we have great friends around us. 00:20:54.880 --> 00:20:56.160 That's just the truth. 00:20:56.400 --> 00:21:00.960 And God knows that, and He wants us to have great friends around us. 00:21:01.519 --> 00:21:12.559 I'm really blessed to know a lot of the people that are gonna be leading small groups, and some of them are people that I would clear my schedule for in a heartbeat because when I'm around them, there's value added to my life. 00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:20.079 There are people that when I spend time with, even if I'm a little down or a little dejected, they add value to my life. 00:21:20.720 --> 00:21:32.960 Now, for example, Juan Reyes, I don't know Juan extremely well, but Juan's gonna be leading a men's group, and every single time I talk to Juan, every single time, I walk away more excited about God and more excited about life. 00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:36.960 Even if I'm tired or if I'm down, I walk away going like, yes, I'm gonna do this. 00:21:37.039 --> 00:21:39.279 I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm gonna do it. 00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:44.720 Because I spent time with Juan, and there are so many people leading small groups like that. 00:21:45.039 --> 00:21:47.039 There are people that will add value to you. 00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:50.319 When we discover something that's valuable, we invest in it. 00:21:51.519 --> 00:21:54.640 We maintain it, we work for it. 00:21:55.680 --> 00:21:59.759 And we have to see friendships, especially friendships with great people. 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:01.599 In the same way. 00:22:01.920 --> 00:22:05.599 God will, He'll be good, He'll bring those people alongside you in life. 00:22:05.839 --> 00:22:12.960 He will bring you people that are going to be great friends, but no matter who He brings alongside you, it's always a choice. 00:22:13.519 --> 00:22:13.839 Right? 00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:17.039 We still have to choose our friends. 00:22:17.359 --> 00:22:20.079 We have to choose who our friends are going to be. 00:22:20.319 --> 00:22:26.720 And that can be kind of a hard thing to think about choosing friends, having a conscious decision in terms of who our friends are. 00:22:27.680 --> 00:22:30.640 A lot of times we settle for letting life choose our friends for us. 00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:32.880 I'm friends with him because we go way back. 00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:35.279 I've known him for like 20 years. 00:22:35.519 --> 00:22:39.920 I hang out with him because he makes me laugh, because we work together. 00:22:40.160 --> 00:22:42.799 We choose friends based on having similar interests. 00:22:42.960 --> 00:22:52.960 We choose friends based on just having fun, or maybe we choose friends just because they accept us, they like us, and there's no good reason not to be friends with them. 00:22:54.079 --> 00:23:02.480 One of the things that Proverbs tells us very, very clearly is to make sure we choose our friends wisely. 00:23:02.880 --> 00:23:09.119 That we make a conscious decision in terms of who we want to be around. 00:23:09.440 --> 00:23:14.880 Proverbs 13, 20 tells us, become wise by walking with the wise. 00:23:15.119 --> 00:23:18.240 Hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces. 00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:23.680 So if we're going to look at the people we choose to be our friends, what criteria do we use? 00:23:24.400 --> 00:23:28.559 And Proverbs says the primary criteria is wisdom. 00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:30.960 The primary criteria is wisdom. 00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:37.279 And Proverbs 2.6 says, for the Lord grants wisdom, from his mouth come knowledge and understanding, right? 00:23:37.359 --> 00:23:45.200 So the primary criteria for having a great friend is wisdom, and people who are going to be the most wise just so happen to be people that love the Lord and listen to him. 00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:58.799 So the best bet for me personally to have great friends in my life is to surround myself with people that love God, the people that listen to God, people that are willing to apply God's truth to their life. 00:23:58.960 --> 00:24:02.160 That's my best bet to have great friends. 00:24:02.319 --> 00:24:04.079 Not just that they're Christians. 00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:09.519 There's a lot of people who are who are Christians that don't necessarily love Jesus and listen to God. 00:24:10.559 --> 00:24:16.000 But people that love Him and listen to Him and apply what God's leading them to do to their lives. 00:24:16.160 --> 00:24:19.279 That's the best bet we have for having great friends. 00:24:19.359 --> 00:24:22.720 And it just so happens when I think of my greatest friends, they all fit that bill. 00:24:23.519 --> 00:24:32.160 And just as a side note, they also happen to be people that I have a lot of fun with, people that make me laugh, people that accept me, people that I have shared common interests with. 00:24:32.319 --> 00:24:34.559 Some of them even go way back and I've known them for years. 00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:42.240 So all those other things that we want in friends, I have those with my greatest friends that also happen to be amazing, godly people. 00:24:42.319 --> 00:24:46.400 But that other stuff, that's the icing, as the analogy goes. 00:24:47.119 --> 00:25:01.200 The basis for having a great friend is having someone that loves God, listens to God's wisdom, and someone that you know when you go to them for advice, when you need something, you're going to get direction that that's not just from them and not just their opinion, but something that's led by the Holy Spirit. 00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:03.119 That's where it starts. 00:25:04.079 --> 00:25:11.279 It's something that it took me a long time to understand in my life is that God has a higher opinion of me than I do of myself. 00:25:11.599 --> 00:25:12.480 He does. 00:25:12.960 --> 00:25:14.799 Same is true for you, by the way. 00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:20.160 You will never find someone that believes in you, has faith in you, and roots for you like God does. 00:25:20.720 --> 00:25:21.119 Never. 00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:22.880 And we see that in God's interaction with people. 00:25:23.039 --> 00:25:29.680 If any of us were God, if we looked through the Old Testament and even Jesus with his disciples, we would have given up long before God did, right? 00:25:30.480 --> 00:25:32.079 But he never does. 00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:37.200 It's because he has a belief in us that very few of us would ever have in ourselves. 00:25:37.359 --> 00:25:44.079 And it's interesting because something that tends to go along with a belief and a confidence in someone is high standards. 00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:55.200 And so a lot of us have experienced this as either parents or maybe on the other side of that equation as children of parents, where our standards for our kids are higher than their own. 00:25:55.920 --> 00:25:59.839 And it's not because we think they make dumb choices. 00:26:00.799 --> 00:26:04.799 It's because we believe in them and we see something in them that they don't even see in themselves. 00:26:05.039 --> 00:26:12.559 So when they're young, it might be us encouraging them to keep with something that they want to quit because we know that they can do it, but they don't. 00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:18.160 With young kids when they're learning how to swim and they're terrified to jump off that diving board for the first time. 00:26:18.400 --> 00:26:20.319 And you're just like, come on, jump. 00:26:20.400 --> 00:26:21.119 You can do it. 00:26:21.359 --> 00:26:24.720 You're having to instill confidence in them that they don't have themselves. 00:26:24.880 --> 00:26:28.240 But it's okay because you believe in them more than they believe in themselves. 00:26:28.400 --> 00:26:30.240 And God is the same way with us. 00:26:31.039 --> 00:26:40.319 But that strong belief you have in your children, and that confidence you have in them, the potential that you see in them, that translates naturally to having high standards for them. 00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:42.000 You want the best for them. 00:26:43.279 --> 00:26:47.440 You want the best schools, you want the best life, and you want the best friends. 00:26:47.519 --> 00:26:54.960 And that's why when our when our children start to get older and they start choosing their own friends and the people that they're gonna date and things like that, we have conflicts sometimes. 00:26:55.279 --> 00:26:59.839 And it's not because we want to ruin their lives and make them stay home with no friends. 00:27:00.079 --> 00:27:02.960 I promise you guys, that's not that's not what happens. 00:27:03.519 --> 00:27:07.839 It's because we have higher standards for them at that moment than they do for us, and we see it as wisdom, right? 00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:19.519 We say, hey, if you would just adopt my standards for the friends you choose, if you would just have the standards that I have for you, exceed them or at least meet them, you will be blessed. 00:27:19.680 --> 00:27:21.200 You will have joy. 00:27:23.279 --> 00:27:36.319 And in that same line of thinking, when we look at the standards that God has for us and the friends that we choose, it's a benefit to us to see it as wisdom to adopt his standards, not our own. 00:27:36.799 --> 00:27:37.680 So what are those standards? 00:27:37.839 --> 00:27:39.359 Proverbs 22 has a few of them. 00:27:39.519 --> 00:27:48.480 It says, uh, don't befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul. 00:27:49.359 --> 00:27:52.799 Don't be friends with someone who's known to lose their cool. 00:27:52.960 --> 00:27:54.880 Now, that's obviously something that a lot of people struggle with. 00:27:54.960 --> 00:27:56.640 That's something that I struggle with. 00:27:57.599 --> 00:28:02.480 One time I was I was really frustrated at home and uh just losing my temper being an idiot. 00:28:02.559 --> 00:28:03.599 That happens from time to time. 00:28:03.680 --> 00:28:08.880 And there just so happened to be an innocent glass in my hand. 00:28:09.359 --> 00:28:12.000 Never done anything to me but provide me water. 00:28:12.559 --> 00:28:13.519 And diet Dr. 00:28:13.599 --> 00:28:16.160 Pepper, which I actually drink more than water, and I'll change that. 00:28:16.400 --> 00:28:21.039 But I have this glass in my hand, I lost my temper and I threw it against the wall. 00:28:21.200 --> 00:28:30.799 And so what happened in my mind was this it was gonna hit the wall and shatter into a bunch of pieces, and then I was going to pick up those pieces and apologize and uh take care of it, clean it up. 00:28:30.880 --> 00:28:35.279 But that's not what actually happened because I didn't take into account that the glass was weighted at the bottom. 00:28:35.440 --> 00:28:40.480 So I threw it into the wall and it just stuck like this huge dart into the wall. 00:28:42.880 --> 00:28:47.119 And I pulled it out, I pulled it out, perfect circle, huge circle. 00:28:47.279 --> 00:28:51.119 And and my father-in-law was coming over later that night and they actually noticed it and they're like, what happened there? 00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:53.279 I was like, uh, it's you know, I don't know. 00:28:53.359 --> 00:28:55.359 It's I threw it, and I just fessed up. 00:28:55.440 --> 00:28:57.839 I I got mad I threw glass, I'm an idiot, okay? 00:28:58.480 --> 00:29:00.240 That's something I struggle with. 00:29:00.559 --> 00:29:13.440 And for all of us, when we read a proverb like that, it should be a challenge, and we should say, hey, obviously, this is something I need to take seriously if I want to have great friends, because Proverbs 22 says, don't be friends with people that have a hot temper and lose their cool. 00:29:13.599 --> 00:29:17.279 And it says that if we do, we'll become more like them. 00:29:17.920 --> 00:29:19.759 The people we're around influence us. 00:29:19.839 --> 00:29:24.240