WEBVTT 00:00:01.919 --> 00:00:04.160 Thanks for listening to the His Hands Church podcast. 00:00:04.400 --> 00:00:12.720 If you're using the His Hands Church mobile app, please turn off the auto lock on your phone's general settings so that you can listen to the message uninterrupted. 00:00:12.960 --> 00:00:15.919 And thank you for being part of what God is doing at His Hands. 00:00:18.399 --> 00:00:19.280 Good morning. 00:00:20.079 --> 00:00:22.000 Man, what a great day. 00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:25.280 Tommy Newberry is here with us uh today. 00:00:28.079 --> 00:00:32.719 And uh he'll be he'll be sharing in a in a uh a few minutes. 00:00:32.799 --> 00:00:37.039 I wanted to just really uh let you know uh we got a great May coming up. 00:00:37.200 --> 00:00:41.359 And so I wanted us to have a little bit of time to uh prepare. 00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:44.880 But uh May 5th is gonna is one of the best days of the year. 00:00:44.960 --> 00:00:50.159 It's Baptism Sunday, and it is it is a thrill. 00:00:50.320 --> 00:01:03.359 We do baptism Sundays in May and um November every time it's between 50 and 100 people get uh get baptized and we cheer, and it's just uh uh such a great thing. 00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:13.359 And you might have been raised to perceive baptism as kind of a stuffy old ritual that you know it's a to-do to check off on the Christian checklist. 00:01:13.599 --> 00:01:16.879 And um tell you, it is a statement. 00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:19.280 You know, it is uh I'm all in. 00:01:19.439 --> 00:01:21.840 You know, Jesus, we're gonna live life together. 00:01:22.000 --> 00:01:31.439 And it's such a powerful thing because it's do we're doing what Jesus did and following him, but it's supernatural like so many things with with God. 00:01:31.519 --> 00:01:35.120 And so when Jesus was baptized, the Holy Spirit came down as a dove. 00:01:35.200 --> 00:01:37.200 In Acts 2, it talks about baptism. 00:01:37.519 --> 00:01:49.200 Um and the uh and the Holy Spirit, so when we're baptized, something supernatural happens in that process that God's uh undertaking to transform us and change us uh from the inside out. 00:01:49.359 --> 00:01:52.239 Uh so it's just gonna be a great uh great day. 00:01:52.400 --> 00:02:04.000 And it might be even that you've been baptized before as a as a uh you know a child or or whenever, and uh, but you're ready to say now, you know what, I'm I'm all in. 00:02:04.079 --> 00:02:05.760 And it's just a uh great day. 00:02:05.920 --> 00:02:11.280 So if uh you'd like to be baptized, um you can sign up at the info desk, or if you just want more information. 00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:20.800 Last year I spent a Sunday just talking more about baptism and its meaning and those types of things, so you can grab a uh a C D and and uh listen to that. 00:02:21.039 --> 00:02:33.120 One thing we do a little bit different is uh just uh invite you, encourage you, if there's someone meaningful uh in your life spiritually or a family member, that uh you know, please invite them to baptize you. 00:02:33.280 --> 00:02:37.599 You know, Jesus didn't baptize his followers, his followers baptized uh each other. 00:02:37.759 --> 00:02:46.479 And so if there's someone like that, uh of course uh I and Susan and Justin, anyone would be uh honored and thrilled uh to do that as well. 00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:50.479 But be thinking about that, that's Sunday, May 5th, uh May 12th. 00:02:50.639 --> 00:02:51.919 We have three big Sundays in a row. 00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:53.680 May 12th is uh a big Sunday. 00:02:53.759 --> 00:02:57.919 For one, it's Mother's Day, so that makes it uh big just in its own. 00:02:58.000 --> 00:02:59.120 But then Tommy's gonna be back. 00:02:59.199 --> 00:03:07.120 We're doing the 40 days to Joyful Life together, and Tommy will be here on May 12th, will be about 36 days, those of us that started last week. 00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:17.520 Uh in and so he's really kind of bring it home and give us that boost so we can continue uh just having joy, just a uh uh a hallmark of of our lives. 00:03:17.840 --> 00:03:20.240 And then on May 19th, it's Bless the Bikes. 00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:46.719 Uh and so we got a lot of people that that ride, and we've we got a lot of friends that ride, so we'll invite them, and then those of us that have motorcycles will ride them in, and it'll be kind of a regular Sunday, but then afterwards um we will uh hang out and uh listen to music and eat great food and pray for everyone, but specifically we'll we'll make sure and pray for every everyone's uh safety and blessings that uh that rides a motorcycle. 00:03:46.800 --> 00:03:48.319 So let's bless the bikes. 00:03:48.560 --> 00:03:50.240 That's May 19th. 00:03:50.560 --> 00:03:58.560 Um if you weren't here last Sunday, Tommy Newberry wrote a book, uh New York Times bestseller called The 4.8 Principle. 00:03:58.800 --> 00:04:07.439 And it's uh uh really applying God's Word to our lives, specifically Philippians uh 4.8, and it's a life-changing uh verse. 00:04:07.759 --> 00:04:18.879 And he then wrote a follow-up uh book, 40 Days to a Joy-Filled Life, which is just a way for every day and a little bit of time to kind of instill that, so it's actually part of our lives. 00:04:19.040 --> 00:04:22.399 And so that's been meaningful to to a bunch of us here. 00:04:22.879 --> 00:04:24.079 Really a God thing. 00:04:24.160 --> 00:04:27.839 Uh it worked out so uh Tommy could be here last week. 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:32.319 Uh last week was April 7th, and so we all started on April 8th, which is 4.8. 00:04:32.800 --> 00:04:34.160 And uh just doing it together. 00:04:34.240 --> 00:04:35.439 And so we've got books. 00:04:35.519 --> 00:04:43.519 It it's really a book that you go through, and then there's questions, you know, introspective type questions and things uh um to do, but it doesn't take much time. 00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:51.519 Last the first time I did 40 days to a joy-filled life, it was really 111 days to a uh joy-filled life. 00:04:51.759 --> 00:04:57.600 But just knowing that we're doing it together, I mean every morning it's just uh I I can't even wait wait for tomorrow morning. 00:04:57.680 --> 00:05:00.079 It's just been uh wonderful to do. 00:05:00.240 --> 00:05:04.720 But if you weren't here last week, you can start um uh tomorrow if you want. 00:05:04.879 --> 00:05:10.480 And and we'll still be doing it together because each Sunday we're gonna be talking about just different principles and how we can apply it. 00:05:10.639 --> 00:05:15.519 And the next three Sundays I'll be uh sharing two of them and then and just one of them. 00:05:15.839 --> 00:05:20.720 But it'll be things that each week that Tommy really feels like it's important that we that we get. 00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:23.600 And so we'll kind of be um all doing it together. 00:05:23.920 --> 00:05:39.279 So uh we've got books, we got we got books uh at cost uh uh uh for uh for us, and they're ten dollars each, and you really need one per person uh ideally and uh in a family or or husband and spouse. 00:05:39.439 --> 00:05:41.680 And we'll have those in the lobby and you can buy those. 00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:47.680 And I just you know, we have never ever sold anything uh here to make a profit. 00:05:47.839 --> 00:05:52.720 You know, if there is something for sale, it it's to get a tool or something like that into our hands. 00:05:52.879 --> 00:05:57.519 And the same here, Tommy's not we're not trying to sell books, we're trying to do this uh together. 00:05:57.759 --> 00:06:05.439 And uh one cool thing last week, I don't know if I say this, but uh over 700 books were bought last week. 00:06:05.759 --> 00:06:15.199 And um and so we really are doing this together, and it's just i i it's it's gonna be a part of us as a church. 00:06:15.360 --> 00:06:16.959 So I'm I'm just thrilled about it. 00:06:17.199 --> 00:06:27.759 But uh one cool thing is a bunch of people last week said, hey, here's some here's some extra money, or you know, uh anyone that that needs a book, we we definitely don't want the cost to stand in the way. 00:06:27.920 --> 00:06:32.959 And there's been plenty of Sundays in Susanai's lives where$20 would not have been doable. 00:06:33.199 --> 00:06:46.879 And so if that's your situation, please just go get a book or books, just wherever the checkout place is, just say, hey, um the uh I can't afford one today, and just just get what you need, because we all want uh to do this together. 00:06:47.120 --> 00:06:49.519 So uh you ready to go? 00:06:50.240 --> 00:06:52.399 All right, please uh please welcome Tommy. 00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:00.800 Good morning. 00:07:01.439 --> 00:07:03.839 Okay, how many of you were here last week? 00:07:04.720 --> 00:07:06.000 And you came back? 00:07:06.560 --> 00:07:08.480 Did you know I was gonna be here again? 00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:09.759 Good, good. 00:07:09.839 --> 00:07:10.800 That's a good sign. 00:07:10.959 --> 00:07:18.079 All right, let's recap last week just a little bit and then go maybe deeper in a few spots as well. 00:07:18.639 --> 00:07:26.079 First and foremost, no area of your life, no area of my life is untouched by our thoughts, right? 00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:33.920 Not a single area, not our marriage, not our fitness, not our spiritual life, of course, not our parenting, not our work life, our financial life. 00:07:34.079 --> 00:07:42.399 Every single area of life is touched in some way by the thoughts that we think on a minute by minute, hour-by-hour basis. 00:07:42.639 --> 00:07:56.399 Now, 4.8, when you think of it, one of the verse or the version that I think is uh probably the coolest verse, the most graphic verse is from the message. 00:07:57.199 --> 00:08:11.759 And then there's another one from the amplified version, which ends with fix your minds on these things, fix your mind on these things, talking about and emphasizing the importance of determining the right thoughts and then holding on to them. 00:08:12.800 --> 00:08:24.560 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is lovely, pure, true, gracious, just, if there's any excellence, if there's anything worthy of praise, think on and dwell on these things. 00:08:24.800 --> 00:08:27.759 Now the two words that are really important in there are often overlooked. 00:08:27.839 --> 00:08:30.879 I referred to this very quickly last week, is any. 00:08:31.199 --> 00:08:34.080 If there's anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. 00:08:34.159 --> 00:08:43.120 Which means if there's forty things over here that are not worthy of praise, and one thing over here that is worthy of praise, what is Paul telling us to do? 00:08:43.519 --> 00:08:45.200 To focus on the one thing that is. 00:08:45.360 --> 00:08:53.279 Not only focus on it, but in the amplified version, fix our mind on these things, which is very, very powerful. 00:08:53.600 --> 00:09:05.039 Now, when you hear those words, finely brothers and sisters, or finely brethren, whatever is lovely, pure, brilliant, noble, uh, commendable, of good rapport, praiseworthy. 00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:08.159 When you hear that, you think, well, that's that's pretty poetic. 00:09:08.399 --> 00:09:14.320 Um, you might think if you reflect on it a little bit longer, you might think it's philosophical. 00:09:14.720 --> 00:09:16.639 Um, and it is both of those things. 00:09:16.799 --> 00:09:21.039 But its primary purpose, I am convinced, is to be tactical. 00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:29.840 It's to be something that we can use on a day-to-day basis, not something that we simply think about and go, oh, that sounds really nice or that's inspiring. 00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:48.480 And then we go back to living the way we've always lived or interacting the way we've always interacted, but literally using it as a foundational truth that undergirds everything else that we learn, everything else that we do to try to improve our lives, everything else we try to do to get closer to God. 00:09:48.720 --> 00:09:50.799 So the verse itself is simple. 00:09:51.120 --> 00:09:54.639 It's not easy to apply, but it's simple. 00:09:54.879 --> 00:09:58.320 Um, it's powerful, it's relevant. 00:09:58.480 --> 00:10:13.120 It is it is relevant to you if you are 12, it's relevant in 2013, it's relevant to you if you are married, it's relevant to you if you are single, it's relevant in your business, it's relevant in this country. 00:10:13.279 --> 00:10:19.120 Um, and the greatest thing of all is it's biblical, so you can count on it, you can depend on it. 00:10:19.600 --> 00:10:39.279 Now, I didn't want this to happen, but about maybe 10 hours after I left here last Sunday, I was down in one side of our basement with my son Mason, and we were watching something on TV, and all of a sudden I heard a scream from my wife. 00:10:39.440 --> 00:10:44.960 I'd heard her walking down the stairs, and she was putting our dog Gracie up, and I heard a scream from her. 00:10:45.279 --> 00:10:49.279 And we just Mason and I just sort of paused for a second because it was a different type of scream. 00:10:49.360 --> 00:10:54.480 It wasn't the normal routine scream, if you know what I mean. 00:10:55.440 --> 00:11:02.879 Um and so we rushed in there, and as we she didn't even say anything, she was standing there looking. 00:11:03.039 --> 00:11:10.960 We didn't know whether it was a snake, whether what had happened, and we looked in, and there was water pouring out of the roof. 00:11:11.919 --> 00:11:13.519 Not the roof, the ceiling. 00:11:13.759 --> 00:11:16.720 Um well, there wasn't really a ceiling at that point. 00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:25.600 There was there was water pouring out of the floor above, and the ceiling was on the floor in pieces, and it was a stream coming out. 00:11:26.799 --> 00:11:28.559 So Think 4-8. 00:11:29.039 --> 00:11:29.840 Thank 4-8. 00:11:30.159 --> 00:11:39.440 Not only that, that the carpet, it was a carpeted room with a ping-pong table and um uh uh a treadmill and an elliptical and some weights. 00:11:39.679 --> 00:11:41.600 So we call it our rec room. 00:11:41.759 --> 00:11:52.559 And it had a carpet that was about four months old with a moisture-proof pad underneath, which doesn't do any good when the ceiling falls through. 00:11:52.960 --> 00:12:03.440 So it was the uh it was the uh bathroom above that room uh that was used in a uh unconventional way by our seven-year-old Brooks. 00:12:05.039 --> 00:12:19.840 For some reason, uh he was sort of thinking that one roll of toilet paper, one trip to the bathroom, that one roll of toilet paper, one trip to the bathroom, that seems to work. 00:12:19.919 --> 00:12:21.919 I mean, they don't have two rolls in here, they have one. 00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:23.200 I'm just coming in here one. 00:12:23.519 --> 00:12:27.200 Um so is there what is good about there's nothing really good about that. 00:12:27.360 --> 00:12:29.279 Well, then there was something good about it. 00:12:29.519 --> 00:12:31.679 Well, it was a drop ceiling. 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:36.799 Okay, so I was trying to think um what is good if there is anything? 00:12:36.960 --> 00:12:38.399 Well, it's a drop ceiling. 00:12:38.559 --> 00:12:42.960 Um so the repairing the roof's not that big of a uh repairing the ceiling's not that big of a deal. 00:12:43.039 --> 00:12:48.080 Uh it actually missed the ping pong table and the treadmill over on the other side. 00:12:48.320 --> 00:12:55.600 Um the woodwork all around the baseboard was has already been ripped out, it was ruined, the carpet's ruined, the whole thing's gonna have to be replaced. 00:12:55.679 --> 00:12:57.679 Um, but we have insurance for it. 00:12:57.840 --> 00:13:06.799 Um but just imagine if it landed right on the middle of the table or on uh the treadmill that we got at Christmas, you know, electronics it would have been completely ruined. 00:13:06.879 --> 00:13:12.480 Uh we do have insurance, so we pay the deductible, we had the a group come out there and clean it up and dry it up. 00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:21.679 So that's an ex- that's sort of like a routine, sort of everyday example of what the 4.8 principle can mean to you. 00:13:21.919 --> 00:13:33.519 Instead of dwelling on it, which we really didn't, um, the cleanup process, when you start doing something about something that's bothering you, you you start practicing the 4.8 principle almost automatically. 00:13:33.679 --> 00:13:38.799 In other words, you can sit there in your room and you can contemplate what's good about the flood in your basement. 00:13:39.279 --> 00:13:50.480 But once you start cleaning up the flood and you call whoever you need to call and you start cleaning up the things that got wet and so forth, taking action displaces a lot of negativity. 00:13:50.639 --> 00:13:52.080 So that's sort of a routine thing. 00:13:52.480 --> 00:13:55.519 Probably half the people in here have dealt with something like that before. 00:13:55.840 --> 00:14:05.519 Then, minute by minute throughout our days, we've got to deal with uh kids and the problems and challenges that they face and our spouses and financial matters and so forth. 00:14:05.679 --> 00:14:16.399 So there's the daily grind of thinking through and trying to apply Philippians 4.8 to the everyday components that everybody has to deal with. 00:14:16.639 --> 00:14:21.759 What about those more unusual moments in life? 00:14:21.919 --> 00:14:23.919 Well, there was another one that involves Mason. 00:14:24.000 --> 00:14:28.159 Last fall he got into trouble, pretty big trouble related to his school. 00:14:28.879 --> 00:14:41.120 And when I found out about it, and and then I, you know, that first night after we found out that he was in trouble, um, I wasn't so much concerned about joy in the house. 00:14:41.440 --> 00:14:46.080 I was actually wanting to make sure that we were actually still a Christian household at all. 00:14:47.679 --> 00:14:53.840 But again, 24 hours passed, and Chris and I started thinking, well, you know what? 00:14:53.919 --> 00:14:55.759 It's actually good that he got caught. 00:14:56.080 --> 00:15:11.759 Literally, it came to um if you want your son or daughter to grow up and be a high character individual, uh a godly young man or young woman, then you really one of the things you ought to be praying for is pray that uh when they're doing something they ought not be doing, that they get caught. 00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:15.440 As weird as that is, even though it may be pain for you, it may be pain for them. 00:15:15.679 --> 00:15:27.759 So literally, that's what we we that was our really our first prayer uh was not help Mason get out of this, but um thank you for letting him get caught. 00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:30.240 And then he didn't share that sentiment. 00:15:31.279 --> 00:15:39.840 Um but I told him, I looked at him, uh, this was probably two days later, and I said, Mason, uh, you know we still love you. 00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:43.440 You know God loves you perfectly, your mom and dad love you. 00:15:43.519 --> 00:15:55.679 There's nothing you can do that would make us stop loving you, but I want to tell you that I'm more confident about your future than I was before because you getting caught tells me that God has great plans for you. 00:15:57.519 --> 00:16:00.960 And I really believe that. 00:16:01.840 --> 00:16:08.000 Um and that's why he that's why he got caught and was put under the spotlight and held accountable for what he was doing. 00:16:08.399 --> 00:16:17.519 And then then once we were on to sort of some more productive thinking, it occurred to us that there were a few more things that were good about this. 00:16:17.679 --> 00:16:32.639 Well, once um once that he has now been in trouble and he's sort of, you know, you know, people are he's on alert or on probation and so forth, um he's gonna have a good excuse not to involve himself with what his friends were getting involved. 00:16:32.720 --> 00:16:35.679 And he has a good excuse because they know that. 00:16:35.759 --> 00:16:46.000 And we told him that any friend that keeps trying to pressure him toward drinking um was what it was, that uh that that's not a real good friend, knowing that you've already been caught and that you're in big trouble. 00:16:46.159 --> 00:16:52.559 And then, of course, we have a seven-year-old, so we were thinking, hmm, he's almost he's 15 essentially. 00:16:53.039 --> 00:16:55.840 Older brother seven, hey, you know what's good about this? 00:16:56.080 --> 00:16:58.879 We now have a full-time Friday and Saturday night babysitter. 00:17:02.159 --> 00:17:07.599 If if you look, if you look, there is always um a way that you can find something good. 00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:14.960 All right, so roof, roof falls in, or ceiling falls in, Mason gets in trouble. 00:17:15.440 --> 00:17:21.839 I had I had a uh a situation with a good friend, a good client, a dear friend of mine. 00:17:22.559 --> 00:17:28.400 It's now been um let me see, almost seven years, six and a half years. 00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:43.920 Well, it was it was election, the day after the election, 2006, and I got a phone call on my mobile from my friend Bo, and I could tell his voice was distressed, but the connection was awful, and I could only make out bits and pieces. 00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:52.640 And long story short, he was calling me to tell me that his son Parker had died in a car accident the night before. 00:17:53.200 --> 00:17:54.480 He was sixteen. 00:17:55.039 --> 00:18:07.039 And aside from the fact that we were friends, um, I had been working with his son uh as a coach uh for the last few months, helping him lay out the plans for the rest of his life. 00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:11.680 That was his he got two 16 birthday presents. 00:18:12.319 --> 00:18:25.519 Um one was a uh six-year-old Volvo to get a safe car for his son, and the other was to work with me as he had seen his dad work with me, uh, laying out a plan for the rest of his life. 00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:48.480 But that ended on on the day of uh November 6, 2006, and I write about this in the 40 Days to a Joy-Filled Life that it absolutely amazed me um how Bo and his wife Lauren were able to go through this process and get through the process. 00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:54.400 Uh as he told me, you never get over it, um, but you can get through it. 00:18:54.799 --> 00:19:09.839 And at Parker's funeral, they read Philippians 4 8, and as the months went by, I had a chance to sit down with the dad, and he said it was a car accident, a single car collision in uh Milton. 00:19:11.039 --> 00:19:18.640 Uh no other cars involved, no witnesses, no alcohol, no drugs, no coffee, no mobile phone, uh going under the speed limit. 00:19:19.279 --> 00:19:22.960 Freaky, cannot explain it, sort of a thing. 00:19:23.519 --> 00:19:34.000 Um and he explained to me, to my true amazement, here's how we were able to use Philippians 4.8 to help us get through this. 00:19:34.319 --> 00:19:36.000 There was nothing good about the accident. 00:19:36.319 --> 00:19:37.119 That's how he started off. 00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:40.240 So I want you to think about something similar to this or less than this. 00:19:40.319 --> 00:19:46.000 How it how it helped me was hopefully I don't have to deal with something like that. 00:19:46.319 --> 00:19:48.799 But it puts everything else in perspective. 00:19:49.039 --> 00:20:06.240 That if you can apply the 4.8 principle to that kind of situation and experience God's peace, then you can certainly apply it to uh your child getting in trouble, to the ceiling falling through, to uh being irritated with the people that you live with in the same house and so forth. 00:20:06.480 --> 00:20:11.920 So we said, Tommy, um, there's nothing great about park, there's nothing good at all. 00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:15.599 There's not one thing, even a small thing, that is good about the accident itself. 00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:17.440 It was awful, it was catastrophic. 00:20:17.599 --> 00:20:22.079 Every night we have to walk by his his bedroom on the way to our bedroom. 00:20:22.319 --> 00:20:37.759 Um but if we thought about what could God be doing, how could there be good around the situation, then one thing we knew was that his brother, he they had a holiday the day before, and he and his brother Ben were able to spend the whole day together. 00:20:37.920 --> 00:20:38.799 It was very unusual. 00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:44.400 It happened to be a school holiday for sort of a random reason, teacher meetings or something, and they spent the whole day. 00:20:44.480 --> 00:20:45.519 So that was a good thing. 00:20:45.680 --> 00:21:01.279 And then he said, Well, you know, we had we had 16 years with Parker, and um we wish we could have had a whole lifetime with him, but we had 16 years, and he got to do a lot of fun things and had some cool experiences and great memories uh with his dad. 00:21:01.440 --> 00:21:12.880 One of the things that I did with him is I laid out his entire helped him lay out his entire life on a whiteboard that was um almost the that length, three-quarters of that length of the screen behind me. 00:21:13.759 --> 00:21:29.039 And he put the highlights of his life up to to that point, and then he put what he thought the rest of his life would look like, and all the highlights had to do with he and his dad and the rest of his family, but it was highly concentrated on his dad. 00:21:29.200 --> 00:21:43.920 So he got wonderful great experiences, and then they took great uh joy, uh if you can imagine that, knowing that they'd be reunited with Parker uh in eternity. 00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:59.759 Uh Parker was a Christian, he had he had been saved earlier in his life, he was uh not only a model and a mentor for other teenagers, but after his death, in the week uh to three weeks after his death, over 40. 00:22:00.480 --> 00:22:05.119 Teenagers from his high school also came to Christ. 00:22:06.240 --> 00:22:07.839 Pretty powerful. 00:22:10.319 --> 00:22:14.079 So there is nothing good about the accident, okay? 00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:17.759 So you, but good came from it. 00:22:17.839 --> 00:22:24.400 And here's how they helped get through that, even through this day. 00:22:25.039 --> 00:22:28.240 Is Tommy, this is Bo speaking again. 00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:46.240 When Lauren and I focused on all we would miss out on graduation, marriage, seeing how he grows and develops and uh what career he goes into and how his passions unfold and grandkids and that sort of thing, when we focused on that, we lost God's joy and peace. 00:22:46.880 --> 00:22:59.839 When we focused on what we had, what we will have, and the good that can come as a result of this horrible tragedy, then we started experiencing God's peace again. 00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:10.640 And so he said it it rem it made me understand that while peace and joy are gifts from God, we have a role in that. 00:23:11.519 --> 00:23:19.839 We can't expect to think stressful, turbulent, agitated thoughts and experience God's peace. 00:23:20.160 --> 00:23:32.240 Nobody at all would have thought poorly of this uh dear family for being broken and defeated forever almost. 00:23:34.079 --> 00:23:47.119 But they took a different course imperfectly, focusing on not only the seen, the obvious, the overt positives, but those things that were unseen as well. 00:23:47.440 --> 00:24:03.599 So as you go through your day-to-day life, you know, I certainly prayed that you don't have to deal with something like that, but you can use that model as I have as a reminder that you've got to keep the big picture in mind. 00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:10.480 And the big picture isn't just the next 10 years or the next 20 years, it's the next a thousand years, and so on. 00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:22.559 And when you do that, it allows you to be a little more laid back, a little more relaxed, a little more loose about the things that are going on in your life with the daily grind. 00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:32.319 Uh, in the time that we have this morning, I want to touch on three things pretty quickly, and they seem they're gonna seem odd to you. 00:24:32.960 --> 00:24:39.680 Golfballs, wolves, and sponges. 00:24:41.359 --> 00:24:42.720 So, where should I start? 00:24:42.880 --> 00:24:50.480 Well, given that um given what's going on a few hours away from us uh in Augusta, this is probably a good place to start. 00:24:50.720 --> 00:25:03.519 So if you're in the back, you may not be able to see this totally, but this is a uh container, a clear container of golf balls, and there's a lacrosse ball in there too, maybe a little marble, but they're white and red. 00:25:03.759 --> 00:25:04.079 Okay? 00:25:04.799 --> 00:25:07.359 This is symbolic of our life. 00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:19.920 The white represents the things that are good with our life, the things that are lovely, pure, true, gracious, just, worthy of praise, the things that are beautiful, commendable, noble, and of good rapport. 00:25:20.400 --> 00:25:28.720 Uh these are our blessings, these are our strengths, these are our recent victories, accomplishments, uh, signs of progress. 00:25:29.039 --> 00:25:32.640 These are the people that love us and care for us and pray for us. 00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:36.960 Uh the white golf balls are the things we're looking forward to, excited about, our passions. 00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:38.319 It's the good stuff. 00:25:38.559 --> 00:25:39.680 Say good stuff. 00:25:40.640 --> 00:25:40.960 Okay? 00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:45.279 Now the red represent the things that haven't gone so well. 00:25:45.440 --> 00:26:04.000 Maybe it's our blunders, um, our screw-ups, uh, the people that we're having difficulty with in our life, um, the things we haven't accomplished but wish we did, the relationships that haven't worked out like we wanted, um, areas of weakness, mistakes that we've made. 00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:12.160 And the the interesting thing is, for as long as we shall live, this won't really change. 00:26:12.720 --> 00:26:23.599 I mean, what the specific red golf balls are in your life will change, and what the specific white ones will change a little bit, and they'll shift around as you grow older and so forth, but they won't really change. 00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:31.519 There'll never be a point in your life where you've got a marriage jar full of white golf balls. 00:26:31.839 --> 00:26:37.359 There'll never be a time in your parenting or family life where it's all white golf balls. 00:26:37.519 --> 00:26:44.160 There'll never be a time in your financial life or even your spiritual life where it's all white golf balls. 00:26:44.799 --> 00:26:47.440 Could it be that that's by design? 00:26:48.960 --> 00:26:53.200 The good news is it's not going to be all red either. 00:26:53.759 --> 00:26:56.720 Will it sometimes maybe feel like it's all red? 00:26:57.279 --> 00:27:06.559 It will, but that is an indicator to us that we've been putting our attention on the wrong things, putting too much of our attention on the wrong things. 00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:07.519 So, what are the red things? 00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:24.079 The red things are the screw-ups, the goof-ups, the regrets, the things we wish we could buy back, the time we've wasted, the times when we haven't used our energy or our talents in a good way, the hurts, um, the tragedies, the mistakes, and so on. 00:27:24.240 --> 00:27:25.759 That's what the red is. 00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:42.720 Here is what I want you to remember is that we've got these, all these blessings, and there are really so many of them, and we've got the hurts and the pains and the buybacks. 00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:49.759 But if we focus too much on the red, what do you think starts to happen? 00:27:51.279 --> 00:27:55.119 When we focus too much on the red, this is a really good blessing. 00:27:55.279 --> 00:27:56.400 Don't know what that is. 00:27:57.519 --> 00:28:10.880 When we focus too much on the red, even the good stuff that used to be white starts to take on a different color. 00:28:11.599 --> 00:28:20.640 It's like we put on our eight-four goggles and we start seeing a skewed version of the world that we happen to live in. 00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:26.720 And that should be a huge selling point for why you want to follow Philippians 4.8. 00:28:27.119 --> 00:28:35.839 Not only will you notice more good, but you will keep the stuff that truly is good from turning colors on you. 00:28:36.079 --> 00:28:44.319 And so in a relationship, you can think, well, you know, there's these wonderful things, and then you decide to focus on the thing that's broken or missing or deficient. 00:28:44.559 --> 00:28:53.359 Well, even those things that were really good that you acknowledged three or four years ago, even those things aren't so good anymore. 00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:55.920 Same thing with all the different areas of your life. 00:28:56.160 --> 00:28:58.319 So we have this in all areas. 00:28:58.720 --> 00:29:00.480 This will never change. 00:29:01.039 --> 00:29:08.079 Our experience is going to depend on whether we choose to focus on the red golf balls or the white golf balls. 00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:14.000 And anytime we want, we can pick up one of these red golf balls and work on it and try to make it better. 00:29:14.160 --> 00:29:14.960 How do we improve it? 00:29:15.039 --> 00:29:17.039 How do we take this from red to pink? 00:29:17.359 --> 00:29:20.559 Some, I mean, wouldn't you rather have pink than than red? 00:29:20.880 --> 00:29:22.799 I mean, if if you're on a scale? 00:29:22.960 --> 00:29:27.200 Some people go, hey, well, I can't make it white, no point in even trying to get it to pink. 00:29:27.680 --> 00:29:31.200 But it's it's not an all or nothing uh dynamic there. 00:29:31.359 --> 00:29:33.039 So that's the golf balls. 00:29:33.279 --> 00:29:41.279 You may not remember anything I said, but you're gonna remember these golf balls, and you can sort of make it a joke, that it life is good and bad. 00:29:41.440 --> 00:29:43.039 Life is a mixture of good and bad. 00:29:43.279 --> 00:29:44.400 That'll never change. 00:29:44.559 --> 00:29:59.200 Now, the Apostle Paul, who crafted and authored the verse in Philippians 4.8, knew something that we didn't necessarily know, but we can probably figure out now, and that is that we are not automatically positive. 00:29:59.920 --> 00:30:03.519 If we were automatically positive, that verse would not be what? 00:30:04.640 --> 00:30:06.240 It wouldn't be necessary. 00:30:06.720 --> 00:30:15.279 Why waste that great language, that great poetry, that great philosophy on something that is not even necessary in the first place? 00:30:15.519 --> 00:30:21.200 But he also knew that we were not, we were not automatically positive. 00:30:21.440 --> 00:30:24.880 So we're not automatically positive, and we're not hopelessly negative. 00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:30.240 Therefore, humanity needs some instruction on what to think about. 00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:45.920 They could think about the red golf balls or they could think about the white golf balls, so I'm going to make sure that they understand that it's a natural human tendency after the garden that we minimize our blessings and we exaggerate our blunders and our mistakes. 00:30:46.160 --> 00:30:52.960 So therefore, I'm going to tell them very, very specifically wherever your attention goes, there goes your life. 00:30:53.200 --> 00:30:56.559 In fact, you can think of that really as the principle of attention. 00:30:56.720 --> 00:31:01.759 Whatever we pay attention to tends to grow and thrive. 00:31:02.640 --> 00:31:05.680 Whatever we stop paying attention to dies. 00:31:06.559 --> 00:31:12.079 I mean, if you want to, if you want your plant to grow, you pay attention to it. 00:31:13.279 --> 00:31:15.680 If you want it to die, you ignore it. 00:31:15.920 --> 00:31:19.519 If you want a relationship to grow, you pay attention to it. 00:31:19.839 --> 00:31:25.680 If you want it to die, you neglect it, you ignore it, you stop giving it attention. 00:31:25.920 --> 00:31:29.680 And when you stop giving something attention, it begins to atrophy. 00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:39.039 So fix your things, fix your gaze on those things in this world that are positive, that are encouraging, that are uplifting. 00:31:39.279 --> 00:31:43.920 And if you can't find anything at the moment, imagine future moments. 00:31:44.079 --> 00:31:53.039 If you can't find anything that you can touch that is tangible, then look for the unseen, which is simply faith. 00:31:53.119 --> 00:32:03.119 Because all joy is, it's an outward sign of the inward promises or the inward faith and the promises of God. 00:32:05.119 --> 00:32:10.960 So would you knowingly let a thief into your house? 00:32:13.440 --> 00:32:15.279 You don't even need to answer that. 00:32:15.839 --> 00:32:16.480 You know? 00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:25.039 I'd like to come in and take your DVD player, your laptop, and your car. 00:32:25.599 --> 00:32:26.480 Come on in. 00:32:26.640 --> 00:32:38.400 Nobody would ever do that, but we are not so picky about the thoughts that we let circulate and incubate in our head that actually will end up stealing our dreams. 00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:50.000 Why would we let thoughts into our head that smother our future when we wouldn't let somebody in our house that just takes our things? 00:32:50.559 --> 00:32:55.759 I mean, if we were going to do something stupid, which one is more stupid? 00:32:56.799 --> 00:32:58.720 To use a scientific term. 00:32:59.519 --> 00:33:08.319 You know, let somebody take our stuff or let somebody steal our joy, you know, including ourselves with the ways that we think. 00:33:09.599 --> 00:33:11.839 So how do you activate 4-8? 00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:15.519 Well, one way to do it is you ask 4-8 questions. 00:33:16.079 --> 00:33:20.960 An eight-four question might be what's awful about this day? 00:33:21.279 --> 00:33:23.519 What do I hate about my job? 00:33:24.240 --> 00:33:27.519 What just annoys the heck out of me about my spouse? 00:33:28.480 --> 00:33:32.000 What what what can I not stand about this teacher? 00:33:32.240 --> 00:33:32.960 That kind of thing. 00:33:33.039 --> 00:33:35.279 Those are eight-four questions, upside-down questions. 00:33:35.440 --> 00:33:38.880 Four-eight questions are, what am I grateful for? 00:33:39.039 --> 00:33:43.519 And how can I express that appreciation in the next 24 hours or 48 hours? 00:33:43.680 --> 00:33:47.039 Um, what are my strengths and how can I use them more often? 00:33:47.279 --> 00:33:51.279 What are my recent victories or little signs of progress? 00:33:51.519 --> 00:33:54.960 Who are the people that love me and how does that make me feel? 00:33:55.119 --> 00:33:56.720 Who are the people that are praying for me? 00:33:56.880 --> 00:33:58.400 And how does that make me feel? 00:33:58.640 --> 00:34:00.640 What am I looking forward to and excited about? 00:34:00.799 --> 00:34:02.640 Those are four eight questions. 00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:07.440 So if you if you put them up, we have them on a bookmark, let's say. 00:34:07.599 --> 00:34:09.280 You can write them out, they're in the book. 00:34:09.440 --> 00:34:10.559 Put them where you'll see them. 00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:26.239 Put them on your into your screensaver, put them on the bathroom mirror, tape them to your steering wheel, put them on the center console, uh, make your homemade bookmark and put it in your Bible, put it in a book that you're reading, uh, tape it to the outside of the fridge, the door on the microwave. 00:34:26.480 --> 00:34:34.239 If you don't remind yourself of what you know to be true, then you'll start to think on the red golf balls. 00:34:34.480 --> 00:34:37.679 Not because it's you or me, but it's because of our human nature. 00:34:37.920 --> 00:34:40.800 All right, so two ways to activate 4.8. 00:34:41.119 --> 00:34:43.519 First, ask 4.8 questions. 00:34:43.760 --> 00:34:51.519 Second, look for, like a detective, look for evidence of good stuff in your life. 00:34:51.679 --> 00:34:53.920 In law enforcement, they have a term called bolo. 00:34:54.400 --> 00:34:55.519 Be on the lookout. 00:34:56.800 --> 00:35:13.760 You know, essentially, a crime happens, an officer arrives on the scene or somebody calls 911 and they get a description out for there's a white male 5'10, wearing a brown jacket with a green baseball cap, and he's running south on blank blank blank. 00:35:13.840 --> 00:35:14.559 And it's a bolo. 00:35:14.960 --> 00:35:16.320 Be on the lookout for. 00:35:16.719 --> 00:35:24.559 We start thinking eight four, in other words, upside down, when we tell our brain the wrong things to look for. 00:35:24.800 --> 00:35:29.039 We give ourselves an erroneous bolo. 00:35:30.159 --> 00:35:34.639 It's like we're making something up, we're saying, hey, here's what we want you to look for. 00:35:35.039 --> 00:35:41.920 We want you to um think about your life, but instead of thinking about the blessings, we want you to think what's broken with it. 00:35:42.239 --> 00:35:46.880 I just gave you a$100 bill, um, but does it have any wrinkles? 00:35:47.760 --> 00:35:52.480 You just had your kitchen redone, but is there a tile that's out of place? 00:35:53.519 --> 00:35:58.320 Sure, he's a great guy, but you know, he doesn't have all that much hair. 00:36:00.800 --> 00:36:09.760 What is that, why is it that we like to zero in on the things that are missing to the exclusion of the things that are present? 00:36:12.400 --> 00:36:29.519 So train yourself to look for acts of caring, acts of kindness, acts of nobility, acts of strength, or signs of strength, or progress, or even worst-case scenario, you can't think of anything positive about maybe a relation. 00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:32.400 Look for signs of a positive intention. 00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:35.039 You know, that's almost funny to think about. 00:36:35.119 --> 00:36:40.000 If all else fails, can you at least say that she or he had positive intentions? 00:36:40.559 --> 00:36:45.280 Well, that's something to latch on to because I've worked with couples for years and years and years. 00:36:45.440 --> 00:36:53.840 Sometimes they can't come up with anything if they're in a certain mental place or space about their spouse without a little prodding. 00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:59.920 And then with a little prodding, they go, reluctantly, yes, I'll acknowledge that you know he's a decent dad. 00:37:00.159 --> 00:37:01.840 You know, I said, Well, dwell on that. 00:37:01.920 --> 00:37:03.199 That's the mustard seed. 00:37:03.360 --> 00:37:09.119 You know, get a call back from this uh young mom in Kentucky, and she tells me, you know what? 00:37:09.280 --> 00:37:12.880 I I really disciplined myself to think about what a good dad he was. 00:37:12.960 --> 00:37:16.159 Um, and I started noticing that he really was a good dad. 00:37:16.400 --> 00:37:27.840 And when I encouraged him about being a good dad, he started doing a couple things that I really liked, and I saw that there were the seeds there for him being the kind of husband that I thought he was gonna be. 00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:28.960 And that's how it works. 00:37:29.119 --> 00:37:36.719 One thought leads to another thought leads to another thought, but it works on an upward spiral, but it also works on a downward spiral. 00:37:36.960 --> 00:37:41.280 Okay, so we have to be careful of something called the law of familiarity. 00:37:41.360 --> 00:37:46.320 The law of familiarity says that we tend to take our blessings for granted. 00:37:47.199 --> 00:37:48.079 Here's the catch. 00:37:48.159 --> 00:37:48.880 Are you listening? 00:37:49.119 --> 00:37:51.519 The longer we've been exposed to them. 00:37:52.320 --> 00:38:03.039 So a brand new blessing, like a present on Christmas morning, we're very glad about, we're very uh appreciative of, we're very grateful. 00:38:03.360 --> 00:38:07.280 Six months after Christmas, maybe not so much. 00:38:07.440 --> 00:38:09.599 Which is okay with Christmas presents, I suppose. 00:38:09.679 --> 00:38:11.039 It's not good, but it's okay. 00:38:11.199 --> 00:38:19.679 But with relationships, we tend to forget the things that we're grateful for. 00:38:19.920 --> 00:38:21.760 The law of familiarity. 00:38:21.840 --> 00:38:29.519 The longer we've been exposed to a particular blessing, the more likely, it doesn't have to happen, the more likely it is that we're gonna take it for granted. 00:38:29.760 --> 00:38:36.480 See, as humans, we are designed for joy, but we're programmed for distress. 00:38:37.199 --> 00:38:43.519 And we're programmed by the things that we expose ourselves to on a regular basis. 00:38:43.840 --> 00:38:46.320 So, two wolves. 00:38:46.559 --> 00:38:48.079 Golf balls, you got it? 00:38:48.320 --> 00:38:48.960 Two wolves. 00:38:49.039 --> 00:38:56.000 Well, there's a fable that goes like this A grandfather was telling his grandson that there are two wolves battling inside his heart. 00:38:56.239 --> 00:38:59.440 One is wise and kind, and the other is vicious and cruel. 00:38:59.760 --> 00:39:03.440 Curiously, the grandson asked, Well, which one will win? 00:39:03.679 --> 00:39:07.360 And the grandfather replied, The one that I feed. 00:39:08.880 --> 00:39:12.480 And in the mental realm, feeding is dwelling. 00:39:13.679 --> 00:39:21.519 Dwelling is thinking deeply, it's replaying, it's contemplating, it's pondering, it's holding on to a series of thoughts and not letting go. 00:39:22.079 --> 00:39:25.119 And worry, for example, is the opposite of 4-8. 00:39:25.599 --> 00:39:28.079 So we feel what we dwell upon. 00:39:28.400 --> 00:39:29.920 We feel what we dwell upon. 00:39:30.159 --> 00:39:35.119 Our emotions of joy or dread or passion or fear, get this. 00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:41.519 Our emotions allow us to feel our thoughts. 00:39:44.719 --> 00:39:48.719 You almost want to highlight that or draw that out somewhere where you can see it. 00:39:49.360 --> 00:39:56.960 Our emotions are the bridge from thought to feeling. 00:39:57.679 --> 00:39:59.360 How is it that we feel our thoughts? 00:39:59.519 --> 00:40:00.639 Through our emotions. 00:40:01.039 --> 00:40:06.880 So when we feel scared, we've been thinking fearful thoughts. 00:40:07.519 --> 00:40:08.719 Maybe legitimately. 00:40:08.880 --> 00:40:29.599 I mean, you know, if if we're in a dangerous situation, if we are feeling resentful, then it means at least one thing that we've been harboring and holding on to thoughts that are negative, maybe jealous thoughts, maybe bitter thoughts, something like that. 00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:47.599 So negative mental momentum is when we don't notice that we're on a downward spiral, because it's okay to be on a downward spiral for just a little bit, as long as we acknowledge it, notice it, or have people in our life that'll hold us accountable and nudge us or something, and then we get back on the positive spiral. 00:40:47.840 --> 00:40:51.440 You don't need to be a perfect 4-8 thinker because there is none. 00:40:52.239 --> 00:40:53.599 You can't be perfect with it. 00:40:53.679 --> 00:40:55.599 You want to get better and better and better. 00:40:55.840 --> 00:41:10.559 But the downward spiral is not a problem if you catch it early, but the upward spiral is what you can feed over and over and over again by dwelling on the things that you are wanting to be present in your life. 00:41:10.800 --> 00:41:16.239 The quality of God includes the characteristics that Paul wants us to focus on in Philippians 4.8. 00:41:16.559 --> 00:41:20.239 Lovely, pure, true, gracious, just, excellent, and worthy of praise. 00:41:20.559 --> 00:41:29.599 When we think on those things, we not only experience more joy and more peace, but we actually notice more of the good stuff. 00:41:29.840 --> 00:41:32.000 Our bolo changes. 00:41:35.280 --> 00:41:46.480 And we start to bring out the best in others because we see others as God sees them, not as we can see them or tend to see them only with our normal eyes. 00:41:47.039 --> 00:41:59.119 Sometimes we have cultural blind spots, and one of the greatest is failing to make the connection between the stuff that we allow in our mind and the quality and quantity of our joy. 00:41:59.440 --> 00:42:05.199 So the things that we let in our mind is what we read, watch, listen to, and view on the web. 00:42:05.760 --> 00:42:08.239 Sometimes we really, really want joy. 00:42:08.559 --> 00:42:21.119 We want to have the peace that surpasses and transcends all understanding, but but we keep putting stuff in our mind through our senses that is incompatible or in conflict with joy. 00:42:21.280 --> 00:42:27.360 It'd be sort of like saying, you know, hey, um, I want to get really lean and fit. 00:42:28.639 --> 00:42:34.639 And the first thing you do is you put you know bowls of MMs out all around the house. 00:42:36.079 --> 00:42:45.840