WEBVTT 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:01.600 Please welcome Ken Kington. 00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:10.720 All right, we're gonna pray as uh we get started. 00:00:10.800 --> 00:00:17.199 So, Father, I just thank you so much for us being here and I thank you for Ken and what you're doing in his life and him being with us this morning. 00:00:17.359 --> 00:00:20.559 And uh God, we thank you for adopting us as your very own children. 00:00:20.719 --> 00:00:22.559 Holy Spirit, we thank you for being our teacher. 00:00:22.640 --> 00:00:28.800 I just ask that you teach each of us this morning that we can each leave with something that we know was meant for us and from you. 00:00:28.879 --> 00:00:38.240 And Jesus, we just thank you so much for loving us, uh showing us what our father is really like, and and uh just transforming us, changing us each from the inside out. 00:00:38.320 --> 00:00:42.960 So we praise you, we thank you, we trust you, and Jesus, it's in your name we pray. 00:00:43.119 --> 00:00:43.520 Amen. 00:00:43.759 --> 00:00:44.079 Amen. 00:00:44.240 --> 00:00:45.280 Thanks, Steve. 00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:45.920 Wow. 00:00:46.240 --> 00:00:51.759 It is a privilege to be with you guys, and man, anytime I get to be around Steve, I'm always sharper. 00:00:51.840 --> 00:00:54.799 And I just I just love to watch everybody filter in. 00:00:54.880 --> 00:01:01.200 And I uh Susan today just she made me laugh as she was up here, and I just love, I'm gonna use this word now. 00:01:01.280 --> 00:01:03.679 She goes, God in your godness. 00:01:04.239 --> 00:01:07.359 I just love that phrase, God in your godness. 00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:09.920 That's just an adjective you can't use everywhere. 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:11.200 But let me let me encourage you. 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:21.840 I'm gonna challenge us this morning, and and challenge may be a bit of a tough or uh kind of a strong word, but in Romans chapter 12, if you've got a Bible, I want to strongly encourage you, go ahead and open up there. 00:01:22.000 --> 00:01:39.680 We'll have the verse on the screen in just a minute, but I want to really challenge us to memorize a verse because there's a direct correlation this year to how fulfilled we're gonna be by the end of the year versus where we are today, based on this one verse. 00:01:39.840 --> 00:01:49.280 And I want to I want to challenge you, it's an easy verse, and I want to challenge you and I to memorize this verse as we move forward, because in our world, we we really live. 00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:51.840 Let me get real personal for just a second. 00:01:51.920 --> 00:01:57.760 Last night I went to an event with my seven-year-old daughter, a daddy-daughter dance. 00:01:58.560 --> 00:02:01.120 And yes, it was just crazy. 00:02:01.200 --> 00:02:09.280 And if you're from a more traditional, maybe a little more stringent background spiritually, it was the daddy-daughter fellowship. 00:02:09.439 --> 00:02:15.199 Okay, so we go to this dance and we just had a blast, just an absolute blast. 00:02:15.439 --> 00:02:18.000 And in the midst of that, her daddy, can you dance again? 00:02:18.080 --> 00:02:21.520 And we're dancing and just having a great time. 00:02:21.759 --> 00:02:24.400 I just thought, how how cool is this moment? 00:02:24.479 --> 00:02:25.919 And then we did the hokey pokey. 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:27.680 Do you remember the hokey pokey? 00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:29.840 I just, I thought, what a great timeless. 00:02:30.240 --> 00:02:32.960 They invented that song for guys like me who can't dance. 00:02:33.199 --> 00:02:38.400 We can at least be out there and do the, oh, I can do this, I can do this, yeah, I can do that. 00:02:38.639 --> 00:02:39.599 Okay, all right. 00:02:39.759 --> 00:02:44.240 But I know I'm getting older because about the fourth body part, I'm like, is anybody else dizzy? 00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:47.120 Okay, this is this is ridiculous. 00:02:47.360 --> 00:02:52.159 So I know I'm getting older, but it was just one of those moments is like, this really is what it's all about. 00:02:52.479 --> 00:02:55.680 Just the simplicity of being together. 00:02:56.240 --> 00:02:57.520 It's what it's all about. 00:02:57.680 --> 00:03:04.000 And we live in a world where I think we're we're trying to make it harder than it has to be. 00:03:04.240 --> 00:03:06.479 And we get so caught up in so many pieces. 00:03:06.560 --> 00:03:08.800 I'll give you one of my favorite examples this week. 00:03:08.879 --> 00:03:20.800 Uh, somebody had given me this coupon book, and I absolutely, my favorite food on the planet is pizza, and and I had a coupon in one of my favorite pizza restaurants, and I look for the disclaimer, like the expiration, and how it's a free pizza. 00:03:20.879 --> 00:03:24.719 Really, it can't be just free, so I look on it and it was really free, but they had one disclaimer. 00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:28.080 It said, for dine in or carry out only. 00:03:29.919 --> 00:03:31.840 What's the other option there? 00:03:32.719 --> 00:03:37.919 If you're thinking about eating your pizza in the doorway, this coupon does not apply. 00:03:38.080 --> 00:03:42.240 I guess it just we're getting too complex. 00:03:42.400 --> 00:03:45.599 So this verse, and it's gonna come across as very easy. 00:03:45.759 --> 00:03:58.159 But the reason why I want to challenge to memorize it, that is as I've memorized this verse, the simplicity of it, and as I let it play back in my mind and my heart, God really is transforming what this means. 00:03:58.479 --> 00:04:05.599 And if we want to have more fulfillment relationally in our world, it really is based on this. 00:04:05.759 --> 00:04:10.560 So here's the verse: Romans chapter 12, verse 15. 00:04:10.879 --> 00:04:16.480 Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. 00:04:16.879 --> 00:04:17.680 Very simple. 00:04:17.839 --> 00:04:22.480 There's a good chance that you'll be able to memorize that in less than five minutes, even by the end of today. 00:04:22.720 --> 00:04:25.920 But my challenge is that we would let it play back in our minds and our hearts. 00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:30.879 And I want to point out this morning, not only memorize the verse, but I want you to remember today two words. 00:04:31.120 --> 00:04:34.319 Two words that pop out of this particular verse. 00:04:34.399 --> 00:04:38.079 And one of them's not there, but it is as I've gone through it. 00:04:38.160 --> 00:04:42.319 And now, if you have a Bible, I want to encourage you, underline the word with. 00:04:43.439 --> 00:04:47.920 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 00:04:48.160 --> 00:04:51.279 And the first word I want us to remember is there. 00:04:52.319 --> 00:04:53.920 Be there. 00:04:54.800 --> 00:05:04.879 That's one of the greatest steps towards fulfillment because relationally speaking, love is spelled and relationships developed by being there. 00:05:05.759 --> 00:05:13.839 We can't learn the real aspects and the dynamics of fulfillment unless we're there. 00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:20.800 And as he says, with twice there, both the highs and the lows, it is a with experience. 00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:22.240 Quick show of hands. 00:05:22.319 --> 00:05:23.279 How many of you are parents? 00:05:23.439 --> 00:05:24.480 Raise your hands, parents? 00:05:24.639 --> 00:05:25.439 Very good. 00:05:26.399 --> 00:05:36.240 One of those ways of just let that word get into our hearts and our lives, and I've made a commitment, and what God's challenged my heart with is to be there with my kids, especially. 00:05:36.319 --> 00:05:38.800 I have a 13, a 12, and a seven-year-old. 00:05:39.040 --> 00:05:43.519 And anytime they say, Dad, can you do this with me? 00:05:44.319 --> 00:05:48.959 Man, I try everything humanly possible to say yes. 00:05:49.120 --> 00:05:50.399 I want to be there. 00:05:50.639 --> 00:05:51.920 I want to be there. 00:05:52.079 --> 00:05:53.360 Now I know there's limitations. 00:05:53.439 --> 00:05:54.639 I know we have responsibilities. 00:05:54.800 --> 00:05:59.279 I know that we work and we have to keep things clean and we have to keep things up and the world is going. 00:05:59.519 --> 00:06:05.600 But I'm challenged with the idea that I don't need to miss this opportunity of with. 00:06:06.160 --> 00:06:07.600 My job is very unusual. 00:06:07.759 --> 00:06:09.839 I'm gone most weekends. 00:06:10.079 --> 00:06:14.639 I tour all over the country, perform in 46 of the 50 states, and I'm all over. 00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:17.600 But I don't look at what I can't do, I look at what I can do. 00:06:17.680 --> 00:06:20.000 And a lot of times I think, you know what, I get to do what others can't. 00:06:20.079 --> 00:06:21.600 So I'm going to maximize that. 00:06:21.759 --> 00:06:25.519 I'll never forget when my middle son was in first grade. 00:06:25.600 --> 00:06:28.000 They did the Thanksgiving field trip. 00:06:28.240 --> 00:06:49.839 And it's the middle of the week, and most people can't do that, but I can, so I look at what I can, so I go on the field trip, and me and the other moms, we go there, and we went to the Thanksgiving special, and they drew the turkey around your hand, and they did that, and then they told the pilgrim story, and then they they asked these little first graders, they're like, What are you thankful for? 00:06:50.399 --> 00:06:51.839 And all the kids are raising their hands. 00:06:52.160 --> 00:06:58.399 So proud of Cody because he didn't just blurt out, he raises his hands like, oh, oh, he's on the front row, and she goes, How about you? 00:06:58.560 --> 00:07:00.480 The little boy right next to him. 00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:07.600 And he's like, Oh, the little boy goes, I'm thankful for God sending his son to die for the sins of the world. 00:07:08.879 --> 00:07:09.519 Wow. 00:07:10.560 --> 00:07:12.079 Whose kid is that? 00:07:12.240 --> 00:07:13.839 That's awesome. 00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:16.560 And then she goes, anybody else? 00:07:16.639 --> 00:07:20.000 And Cody's like, and she goes, How about you? 00:07:20.160 --> 00:07:21.600 The little girl right on the other side. 00:07:21.759 --> 00:07:23.920 I'm like, oh man, it's killing him. 00:07:24.079 --> 00:07:27.199 She goes, I'm thankful for my mom and dad and the love of our family. 00:07:27.360 --> 00:07:32.560 And I'm like, man, they are, yeah, they are teaching them the right things at this school. 00:07:32.639 --> 00:07:34.879 And finally she goes, Does anybody else have anything? 00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:35.839 And Cody's like, ha. 00:07:36.160 --> 00:07:37.360 She goes, Yes, you. 00:07:37.439 --> 00:07:38.959 What are you thankful for? 00:07:39.199 --> 00:07:50.879 And he, as soon as she points, he blurts out, TV and marshmallows! And he looks at me on the wall. 00:07:55.519 --> 00:08:00.959 And I look at the other moms, I'm like, I'm so proud. 00:08:06.240 --> 00:08:08.720 But it's that with. 00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:10.560 It's being there. 00:08:10.720 --> 00:08:13.839 It is that moment of going, you know what, this is it. 00:08:14.480 --> 00:08:16.319 And I don't want to miss that. 00:08:16.480 --> 00:08:21.600 And I've tried to instill in my kids and my wife, when you say with, I'm going to be there. 00:08:21.759 --> 00:08:22.639 I want to be there. 00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:25.839 I want them to know that even when I can't, I long to be there. 00:08:26.079 --> 00:08:32.720 My 13-year-old, he says, Dad, we're going on this three-day field trip with our school, and is there any way you can go with us? 00:08:33.039 --> 00:08:33.679 13. 00:08:34.159 --> 00:08:38.240 And he asked me to go, and I don't care what I have to do to move heaven and earth. 00:08:38.320 --> 00:08:39.360 I want to be there. 00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:46.240 Because when we're with and we're there, it doesn't mean to just physically be there. 00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:55.919 But what I'm learning after 15 years of marriage, it means to be there beyond ourselves, to be there with them in their world for their deal. 00:08:56.080 --> 00:08:59.840 My wife, I realize that we are drastically different. 00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:00.960 I love my wife. 00:09:01.120 --> 00:09:02.720 I am better because of her. 00:09:02.879 --> 00:09:06.639 But I want God to teach me this idea of being with her. 00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:11.200 And learning, and some of you may have heard love languages and that type thing. 00:09:11.279 --> 00:09:12.399 I'll hit that in just a second. 00:09:12.559 --> 00:09:15.279 But in her world, it's different than my world. 00:09:15.519 --> 00:09:20.000 My wife leads, she listens with her heart. 00:09:20.960 --> 00:09:22.960 And that's not really natural. 00:09:23.200 --> 00:09:29.759 And a lot of guys I know, probably even the majority of guys, we listen with our head and logically. 00:09:29.919 --> 00:09:32.320 My wife's world is emotional. 00:09:33.039 --> 00:09:37.200 She listens first, foremost, and continually emotionally. 00:09:37.360 --> 00:09:42.559 And at some point in the distant future, she will think logically about that. 00:09:44.720 --> 00:09:49.360 We haven't reached that point yet, but it's out there somewhere. 00:09:51.519 --> 00:09:54.720 And I'm learning to listen more emotionally. 00:09:54.879 --> 00:09:56.720 I'm learning to realize, you know what? 00:09:56.960 --> 00:09:59.679 Her default mechanism is logic. 00:09:59.840 --> 00:10:01.600 It's not logic, it's emotion. 00:10:01.679 --> 00:10:04.080 And that's why we're balanced and that's why we're better together. 00:10:04.159 --> 00:10:07.279 But I need to learn to listen and validate. 00:10:07.360 --> 00:10:08.879 That's the part that God put on my heart. 00:10:09.039 --> 00:10:10.799 Can validate the feeling. 00:10:11.039 --> 00:10:12.639 Validate that feeling first. 00:10:12.799 --> 00:10:15.679 To be with her is to be emotional a little bit. 00:10:15.759 --> 00:10:17.039 So I started using the words. 00:10:17.200 --> 00:10:21.840 I feel and I and I long or I am frustrated. 00:10:21.919 --> 00:10:24.080 I start using feelings much more. 00:10:24.399 --> 00:10:32.240 And I and I'm I'm so on this being there piece that even when it's a challenge, I am committed to it. 00:10:32.320 --> 00:10:33.120 And it cost. 00:10:33.600 --> 00:10:35.440 It cost to be there. 00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:43.039 I'll never forget my my daughter had one of her first soccer games, and several of you know my daughter's situation. 00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:45.600 Um my daughter has overcome cancer. 00:10:45.759 --> 00:10:52.399 When she was three, she was diagnosed, and she's overcome it, and we're now a year and nine months past her last chemo, and she's doing great. 00:10:52.480 --> 00:10:54.320 And she said, Yes, you can applaud that. 00:10:54.399 --> 00:10:55.600 That's awesome. 00:11:00.240 --> 00:11:10.559 But she she wanted to play soccer, and one of the side effects or one of the remnants of chemo is that it it messes with her coordination and some of their fine motor skills. 00:11:10.639 --> 00:11:14.320 So for her to want to play is a tremendous and and I was there. 00:11:14.399 --> 00:11:22.720 I flew in from a show and I'd land, I go to the game, and and it's it's soccer, and she's out there, and and you know what? 00:11:22.799 --> 00:11:27.279 She she just kind of follows the herd everywhere, and I'm watching her trying to be encouraging. 00:11:27.440 --> 00:11:29.279 I'm sitting there going, wait a go, go get the ball. 00:11:29.360 --> 00:11:34.960 And she just kind of stays back from it, but runs with the herd, and and she only got like five or six opportunities. 00:11:35.039 --> 00:11:39.120 The first one she just swings and totally whiffs and almost falls down. 00:11:39.279 --> 00:11:45.440 Another time she's kind of running up and it kicks it and it bounces off her head and out of bounds, and she turned around with this almost crying. 00:11:45.600 --> 00:11:47.600 I'm like, You're okay, you're okay, good job, you know. 00:11:47.759 --> 00:11:56.480 She's like, Oh, okay, and she runs back down, and then they put her in goal, and I'm like, Why would you put her in goal? 00:11:57.600 --> 00:12:00.559 And she had the shirt on and she's out there just like this. 00:12:00.799 --> 00:12:02.399 I'm like, Yeah, you gotta get ready. 00:12:02.559 --> 00:12:07.120 She's like, and I'm like, here it comes, get ready, here comes the ball. 00:12:07.279 --> 00:12:08.000 She's like, ha. 00:12:09.120 --> 00:12:10.559 She sees it and she's watching it. 00:12:10.639 --> 00:12:11.679 I'm like, get it, get it, get it. 00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:12.399 She's ha. 00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:19.039 It's like, oh. 00:12:20.159 --> 00:12:29.360 And then she goes back and she goes another time, and the one time she does kick it, she kicks it the wrong direction, and then it's off another kid out of bounds, and I'm just like, oh. 00:12:29.600 --> 00:12:32.799 So after the game, I'm just I'm getting ready for the pep talk. 00:12:32.879 --> 00:12:33.279 You know what? 00:12:33.360 --> 00:12:35.440 She's just she's not good at this yet. 00:12:35.600 --> 00:12:40.159 And and and there's a reason why, and I'm just playing all this in my mind. 00:12:40.879 --> 00:12:41.679 And you know what? 00:12:41.759 --> 00:12:46.000 When we're there, we we get to feel that and we get to experience that. 00:12:46.159 --> 00:12:53.600 And she comes up and she's got her juice and her snack and she's got her head down and shuffling her feet, and I said, Hey, you did so good. 00:12:53.679 --> 00:12:55.759 And she goes, Daddy, I'm like, Yeah, baby. 00:12:56.080 --> 00:13:01.200 I said, You got your favorite color juice, and she's like, Yeah, Dad, can I can I tell you something, Daddy? 00:13:01.279 --> 00:13:03.200 And I'm like, Yeah, baby, you can tell me. 00:13:03.279 --> 00:13:05.840 And I'm braced, and my heart is about to break. 00:13:05.919 --> 00:13:11.279 And she looks up, she goes, Daddy, I am so good at soccer. 00:13:16.559 --> 00:13:18.080 Yes, you are. 00:13:21.360 --> 00:13:27.600 And I believe that God has blessed her with that, me, with that moment to realize, you know what? 00:13:27.679 --> 00:13:29.919 For her, she is great at soccer. 00:13:30.159 --> 00:13:38.879 For her to be out there is miraculous, and for her to be doing that is amazing, and that I got to be there and experience that with her. 00:13:39.679 --> 00:13:44.720 And my encouragement for you and I is not to add something to our plate. 00:13:44.960 --> 00:14:06.559 My encouragement is that we take this beautiful verse, rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep, and say, God, help me, help me develop this radar with those around me that I am interacting with today, whether it's family or my kids, or family with my kids, or at work, or those I cross paths with. 00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:16.320 God, put up that radar that I can not only be there physically, but be there emotionally and be there spiritually, because God, you're working. 00:14:16.559 --> 00:14:18.000 And I want to be a part of that. 00:14:18.080 --> 00:14:23.440 I want to experience the fulfillment of seeing you move around me and through me. 00:14:23.600 --> 00:14:25.039 I I want that, Lord. 00:14:25.279 --> 00:14:26.480 And I want that experience. 00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:30.399 So I started asking the questions, what are we doing on a weekly basis? 00:14:30.639 --> 00:14:32.399 Well, we're real involved in basketball. 00:14:32.480 --> 00:14:36.399 My boys play, I help coach, and I'm like, who are those families who are around? 00:14:36.559 --> 00:14:38.159 Let's connect with them. 00:14:38.799 --> 00:14:42.240 Almost every day we eat at some point. 00:14:42.720 --> 00:14:44.399 Almost every day. 00:14:44.960 --> 00:14:49.440 And I'm I'm gonna be so bold to say, you eat at some point during your day. 00:14:49.759 --> 00:14:54.559 Ask the question are we taking the time to say, hey, why don't you come over and eat with us? 00:14:54.879 --> 00:14:58.639 Not going to be fancy, just or we're going out to grab a bite. 00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:03.919 Take a moment and pray, God, is there anybody that you want to bring to my mind that I need to call? 00:15:04.240 --> 00:15:07.919 And even if they don't go, let me just tell you, it is blowing my mind. 00:15:08.080 --> 00:15:11.360 Those who say, Thank you so much for asking us. 00:15:11.759 --> 00:15:13.120 That's amazing. 00:15:13.279 --> 00:15:16.159 And then to have people over, it's monumental. 00:15:16.240 --> 00:15:18.320 It's communicating that I care. 00:15:18.879 --> 00:15:23.360 Just because we're there and we want you to be there, and we want to be there with you. 00:15:23.759 --> 00:15:25.200 So take the time to be there. 00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:36.480 There's a great verse in Ecclesiastes, chapter 4, verses 9 through 12, that take this concept, and you've probably heard the concept before. 00:15:36.639 --> 00:15:41.279 It says, But two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. 00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:45.120 For if they fail, one will lift up his companion. 00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:50.720 But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. 00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:56.080 Again, if two lie down together, they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? 00:15:56.320 --> 00:16:00.559 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. 00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:03.840 And three cord is not quickly broken. 00:16:04.240 --> 00:16:08.559 Biblically, there is this principle that we were meant to be together. 00:16:08.799 --> 00:16:18.159 And the question I have for you and I are we not only open to that, but were we proactively being that other person there? 00:16:18.879 --> 00:16:20.879 Who are we there for? 00:16:22.320 --> 00:16:23.840 So the first word is there. 00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:25.279 I want you to say that word with me. 00:16:25.360 --> 00:16:27.279 The first word that we were learning today is what? 00:16:27.440 --> 00:16:28.960 It is there. 00:16:29.440 --> 00:16:36.879 The second one is also in this verse: rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:40.320 Not only be there, but care. 00:16:41.440 --> 00:16:44.000 Get emotionally involved. 00:16:44.639 --> 00:16:49.360 Listen for that below the surface, care in the situation. 00:16:50.240 --> 00:16:54.799 If you've never memorized a verse before, I want to give you one to practice on, okay? 00:16:54.960 --> 00:16:58.080 It's the shortest verse in the Bible, John 11, 35. 00:16:58.399 --> 00:17:00.240 And you're gonna be able to memorize it right now. 00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:00.879 You ready? 00:17:01.039 --> 00:17:02.000 Jesus wept. 00:17:02.159 --> 00:17:02.960 There it is. 00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:06.240 Congratulations, you just memorized a verse. 00:17:07.519 --> 00:17:16.240 And the reason I bring this up is not only to memorize a verse, but to, we'll look more in depth in this next week, but why did Jesus cry? 00:17:16.400 --> 00:17:18.000 And I went back and looked at this. 00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:22.720 And it's a situation where Lazarus, his friend, has died. 00:17:23.119 --> 00:17:30.480 And I looked in this, and again, we'll look at it in depth next week, but he's died, and Jesus is going after he's finished some work to there. 00:17:30.640 --> 00:17:35.839 They run out of meeting, and Mary and Martha are weeping, and their friends are weeping. 00:17:36.240 --> 00:17:38.799 And Jesus knows what he's gonna do. 00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:41.920 He knows that Lazarus is gonna die. 00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:44.720 He knows he's gonna raise him from the dead. 00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:45.759 He knows. 00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:51.039 And if he is a man without being God, he would do what we would do. 00:17:51.119 --> 00:17:53.359 He'd go, hey, stop crying. 00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:54.880 Stop crying. 00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:56.640 I can fix this. 00:17:57.680 --> 00:17:58.960 I am a man. 00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:04.559 I fix things, and I can totally fix this, and I'm gonna fix this. 00:18:04.799 --> 00:18:06.240 Stop crying. 00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:08.400 But he doesn't. 00:18:08.880 --> 00:18:16.319 Jesus, in the complete man that he is, shows us men another level, and that is feel first. 00:18:17.039 --> 00:18:18.000 Feel first. 00:18:18.160 --> 00:18:24.240 This concept of he sees them, they're coming, they're weeping, and Jesus wept. 00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:32.480 He knew he could fix it, he knew he was gonna fix it, he knew that all of that, and yet he felt first, he validated that. 00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:46.880 And for many of you men here today, like me, as I had that revelation, I thought, Lord, help me not only be there when my wife is dealing with whatever, the frustrations or the worries, but help me feel first. 00:18:47.359 --> 00:18:48.400 Help me get there. 00:18:48.559 --> 00:19:00.880 Because when that happens, amazing opportunities to experience joy in the midst of pain, healing in the midst of hurt happens. 00:19:01.119 --> 00:19:04.880 One of the greatest examples I've ever come across was two weeks ago. 00:19:05.119 --> 00:19:15.759 I was in Birmingham, Alabama, for a corporate event where I was performing, met with the head of the company that I was going to be performing with, and I'll call her Beverly because that's her name. 00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:23.119 And Beverly, Beverly is just this wonderful woman that runs this company, and I said, Beverly, how are you doing? 00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:24.319 She goes, Well, you know what? 00:19:24.480 --> 00:19:25.440 I'm doing better. 00:19:25.599 --> 00:19:27.440 And I'm like, wait a minute. 00:19:27.680 --> 00:19:29.599 What I said, what's wrong? 00:19:29.759 --> 00:19:34.000 She goes, Well, my dad passed away a couple weeks ago, and I'm like, I'm so sorry. 00:19:34.160 --> 00:19:39.279 She goes, No, he'd been ill for about three or four or five years, and we knew it was inevitable. 00:19:39.359 --> 00:19:41.920 It's just when it happens, it's a little difficult. 00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:44.000 I said, I totally understand. 00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:45.920 There's no way we can be prepared for that. 00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:47.920 And she goes, but I'm I'm doing better. 00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:48.720 And you know what? 00:19:48.799 --> 00:19:51.440 I'm thankful for the way it happened, I'm thankful for the time. 00:19:51.519 --> 00:19:55.759 And and you could just tell she had she was processing still, but it was a good piece. 00:19:55.839 --> 00:20:03.200 And and she went on, and her son-in-law, who was going to introduce me and is a friend of mine, he said, Hey, did she tell you about the plans? 00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:04.559 And I was like, For what? 00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:06.319 She goes, the he said, the funeral plans. 00:20:06.400 --> 00:20:08.400 And I was like, No, she didn't. 00:20:08.640 --> 00:20:19.599 He goes, Well, we're all in the room with with her dad, with with papa, and we're all in there, and he's in the corner with his oxygen mask on, and it was about a week and a half, two weeks before he passed away. 00:20:19.680 --> 00:20:27.279 And and he's just in the corner, and he says, I felt a bit weird because we're planning this funeral, and he's sitting right there, and it was just odd. 00:20:27.359 --> 00:20:29.039 And she would go over, Daddy, do you like that song? 00:20:29.119 --> 00:20:30.160 Do you want us to sing that song? 00:20:31.200 --> 00:20:33.680 And Daddy, well, we're thinking about this, and what are you thinking? 00:20:35.039 --> 00:20:41.359 And they're just asking him questions, and he's shaking his head, and she said, Finally, she said, Dad, I I I can't make this decision. 00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:42.720 Will you please help me? 00:20:42.880 --> 00:20:47.039 He's she says, Do you want do you want to be buried or do you want to be cremated? 00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:52.960 And my buddy Matt, he said to his dad in the corner, took these two deep breaths. 00:20:56.960 --> 00:21:01.200 And he took the mask away and he said, Surprise me. 00:21:13.279 --> 00:21:15.440 Isn't that awesome? 00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:18.720 I want to go that way. 00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:28.160 But that type level of just goodness only happens when we are there and we care. 00:21:28.480 --> 00:21:30.799 And to take the time to say, you know what? 00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:33.440 What is your world? 00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:37.519 I've introduced this uh acronym before, it's we, W-E. 00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:45.440 And to ask a simple question, if we want to not only be there but care, here's a very simple, simplistic way to do it without sounding weird. 00:21:45.519 --> 00:21:51.440 Just say, hey, when you're with that someone, whether it's a spouse, a child, or whatever, ask two questions, one of two questions. 00:21:51.519 --> 00:21:53.920 Hey, what are you worried about? 00:21:54.160 --> 00:21:55.519 What are you worried about right now? 00:21:55.599 --> 00:21:56.559 What's what's on your mind? 00:21:56.720 --> 00:21:58.160 What's your worry right now? 00:21:58.400 --> 00:22:01.440 Or ask, what are you Excited about? 00:22:01.680 --> 00:22:02.640 You see the acronym? 00:22:02.799 --> 00:22:04.240 W worried E excited. 00:22:04.319 --> 00:22:04.720 Do you get it? 00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:05.599 We, yeah. 00:22:05.759 --> 00:22:06.720 It's we time. 00:22:06.799 --> 00:22:08.559 It's when we get together and say, what are you worried about? 00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:09.680 What are you excited about? 00:22:09.839 --> 00:22:13.200 And it's to learn that person's worry and excitement. 00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:17.200 It's to learn how they process, what they process, and what they're going through. 00:22:17.440 --> 00:22:21.680 My wife, her love language, and those of you who don't know love languages, it's a book and it's really good. 00:22:22.079 --> 00:22:27.279 It's either gifts or acts of service, quality time or physical touch, and everybody has a primary love language. 00:22:27.440 --> 00:22:34.480 And uh, I have to add one though, my wife, although she is a uh a quality time person, her hers is another level. 00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:36.319 Her love language is coffee. 00:22:36.480 --> 00:22:38.319 That is her love language. 00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:41.759 And and getting that coffee means everything. 00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:43.599 Now, I I'm not a coffee guy. 00:22:43.680 --> 00:22:45.200 I love the smell, hate the taste. 00:22:45.359 --> 00:22:46.160 That's me. 00:22:46.400 --> 00:22:48.720 And and I love that our I got a quick aside. 00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:57.279 I love the way our relationship has morphed over the years because it used to be, you know, I'd I would say something about coffee, and she's just like, oh, you know, you just don't like it. 00:22:57.359 --> 00:22:58.400 I wish we could have this together. 00:22:58.480 --> 00:22:59.839 And I'm like, but I love to go. 00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:01.920 It's just I love the smell, I don't like the taste. 00:23:02.079 --> 00:23:04.480 And and really, if we're honest, honest with what? 00:23:04.559 --> 00:23:05.920 I said, you know, a coffee breath. 00:23:06.079 --> 00:23:06.799 Doesn't turn me on. 00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:07.440 I'm just saying. 00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:08.400 I'm just saying. 00:23:08.559 --> 00:23:12.799 And you know, years ago that would have been, oh, you hate me, you think I'm fat and ugly and all that. 00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:17.839 But you know, we're now at the point where I can give her coffee and a breath mint and she's not offended. 00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:18.240 Okay? 00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:19.359 I love that. 00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:26.559 My my world is why have they not come up with breath mint flavored coffee? 00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:27.920 Okay, just an idea. 00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:35.599 Uh so anyway, her love language is coffee, and I love to just spend that time with her and say, hey, let's go grab a cup of coffee. 00:23:35.759 --> 00:23:39.599 I'll get a hot chocolate or I'll get a water or whatever, but it's the time. 00:23:40.160 --> 00:23:43.519 It communicates I care about her. 00:23:43.759 --> 00:23:45.200 And going that extra step. 00:23:45.359 --> 00:23:46.720 Not only am I there, I care. 00:23:46.880 --> 00:23:53.279 Today, today, I guarantee you, at some point, if not multiple points, I'll be texting several of my friends. 00:23:53.359 --> 00:23:55.920 I've got a buddy who grew up in Pittsburgh. 00:23:56.079 --> 00:24:04.400 He grew up going to the home games of the Steelers, and I will be texting him today and going, hey man, I'm thinking about you. 00:24:04.559 --> 00:24:05.599 Did you see that play? 00:24:05.680 --> 00:24:06.480 What's going on? 00:24:06.640 --> 00:24:08.480 It's just, I care about you. 00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:13.519 And I'm not doing it out of some duty, I'm doing it because I really do love this. 00:24:13.839 --> 00:24:15.519 And I really do like him. 00:24:15.920 --> 00:24:19.440 And I really want him to know I care about what's important to you. 00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:21.920 And I love talking about that. 00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:24.400 This concept, it's Super Bowl Sunday. 00:24:24.480 --> 00:24:28.720 I want to throw this concept at you because I did a little bit of research. 00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:29.920 And I love this. 00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:36.079 I went on, I couldn't help it, I went on, I'm sitting at my computer, I go on to look up tickets for the Super Bowl. 00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:45.440 And there was this one ticket, one ticket for the Hall of Fame suite in Texas Stadium. 00:24:45.599 --> 00:24:49.680 Which means if there's an NFL player that's in the Hall of Fame, they go to this suite. 00:24:49.759 --> 00:25:01.440 The most famous players of all time, they're in the suite, and you can go, it's food, and it's the best seats, and it's the whole nine yards, and this suite of Hall of Fame players, and there was one ticket. 00:25:01.680 --> 00:25:05.279 Now, this was two weeks ago, I think it's gone up since you want to know what that one ticket. 00:25:05.519 --> 00:25:08.000 Anybody want to guess what that one ticket cost? 00:25:08.400 --> 00:25:09.359 One ticket. 00:25:11.839 --> 00:25:13.440 $75,000? 00:25:13.920 --> 00:25:17.200 $649,899. 00:25:19.039 --> 00:25:20.880 For one ticket. 00:25:23.279 --> 00:25:30.640 Now I also looked up, I looked on the chart, I looked for the worst seat in the building. 00:25:31.519 --> 00:25:34.880 Top row in the end zone in the corner. 00:25:35.039 --> 00:25:37.039 You want to guess how much that one was? 00:25:37.759 --> 00:25:39.039 $2,305. 00:25:40.880 --> 00:25:42.640 Now here's my question. 00:25:42.880 --> 00:25:51.440 Today, if you could go to the Super Bowl and the money was not an option, it was not a uh not an option, uh, it's not an option. 00:25:51.680 --> 00:26:19.279 Um you could go to the Super Bowl and you could go to the Hall of Fame suite and sit in those seats and meet those guys and eat that food, and you could have that one ticket, or you could have two tickets to the Super Bowl in the worst seats in the building, which would you take? 00:26:19.839 --> 00:26:22.000 And I'll even go one even better than that. 00:26:22.079 --> 00:26:23.440 What if it were today? 00:26:23.599 --> 00:26:26.079 And you can't keep any of this, but you have a choice. 00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:35.759 You can have that one ticket to the Hall of Fame suite, or pick your favorite restaurant in all of Atlanta. 00:26:36.559 --> 00:26:46.559 And instead of that one ticket, that restaurant is gonna cater the Super Bowl at your house and bring in big screen TVs for every room. 00:26:46.720 --> 00:26:56.960 Now, after the Super Bowl, they're all gone, but it's one night, TVs everywhere, and your favorite food, and you can invite as many people as you want, and it's all completely paid for. 00:26:57.279 --> 00:27:03.279 Would you take the one ticket or would you take the catered party for everybody you know? 00:27:04.559 --> 00:27:19.039 See, within our hearts, within our hearts, most of us, now there's probably some that have some extenuating circumstances that would want the one ticket, but for me, it's what good is it if it's alone? 00:27:19.440 --> 00:27:22.079 This life was not meant to be alone. 00:27:22.240 --> 00:27:27.039 It was it was meant for us to say, wait a minute, there's something more than just me. 00:27:27.599 --> 00:27:32.160 And our fulfillment will be with how connected we are and how far we go. 00:27:32.319 --> 00:27:36.000 It was my buddy Stuart who were driving, and I just said, Hey, how's it going? 00:27:36.240 --> 00:27:37.440 Oh, it's going good. 00:27:37.759 --> 00:27:40.160 And I'm like, What are you excited about? 00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:54.640 And he said, You know, I I really haven't been able to tell anybody, but my company, we're about to merge with another company, and it's gonna move my position and this, that, and the other, but you can't say anything to anybody, and he just poured out what is great joy in his life. 00:27:54.880 --> 00:27:58.480 I've had a few buddies of mine that have asked me, you know, what are you excited about? 00:27:58.640 --> 00:28:05.119 I said, Well, we've been saving up for years, and now we're finishing our basement, and here's some pictures, and I was so excited. 00:28:05.519 --> 00:28:06.480 I I love this. 00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:15.359 My wife had a significant birthday this year, and she made me swear, she goes, do not throw me a party. 00:28:15.599 --> 00:28:20.000 She said it several times, threateningly several times. 00:28:20.319 --> 00:28:21.599 But I thought, you know what? 00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:28.400 She's got so many friends, she needs to know they're there, she needs to know they care, but I want to honor her, so I literally I prayed through it. 00:28:28.799 --> 00:28:29.759