WEBVTT 00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:05.759 We're going to do part two of what I started two weeks ago, if that's okay with you. 00:00:07.599 --> 00:00:11.039 So, Father, I thank you for today, Lord. 00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:13.439 And Lord, I thank you that you're here with us right now. 00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:16.719 Lord, I ask you to just give me whatever words you want me to share today. 00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:21.839 Lord, soften all of our hearts so that we can hear what you want to say to each one of us. 00:00:22.079 --> 00:00:23.359 And we thank you and we love you. 00:00:23.440 --> 00:00:24.239 In Jesus' name. 00:00:24.480 --> 00:00:24.960 Amen. 00:00:25.280 --> 00:00:25.679 All right. 00:00:25.839 --> 00:00:29.359 So starting two weeks ago, I mean, starting, see, I'm already starting next week. 00:00:29.600 --> 00:00:37.280 Two weeks ago, I basically shared for anybody that was here, I shared what God had showed me over the course of several years in my own life. 00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:40.159 And that was basically what my purpose was. 00:00:40.399 --> 00:00:57.359 Because I kind of walked around basically my whole life wondering what it was, thinking I could get up, I could find my purpose, my value, my significance, my reason for waking up in the morning by doing something, by having a job or a role or a title or a function. 00:00:57.520 --> 00:00:59.600 I thought I could get it from those things. 00:01:00.240 --> 00:01:03.920 And God said, no, that's not where I want you to get it from. 00:01:04.079 --> 00:01:10.879 And he showed me by speaking directly to me, and through his word, he showed me what was important to him. 00:01:11.040 --> 00:01:17.120 And that was basically to get up every morning and to love him and love other people. 00:01:17.280 --> 00:01:18.640 It's so simple and freeing. 00:01:18.719 --> 00:01:23.200 So I hope, hope, I figure I'm I'm I tell people I'm abnormally normal. 00:01:23.519 --> 00:01:24.959 Okay, I'm I'm a little weird. 00:01:25.040 --> 00:01:25.680 Okay, I admit it. 00:01:25.760 --> 00:01:26.400 I'm a little weird. 00:01:26.480 --> 00:01:39.840 But here's the thing, I'm pretty just a regular person, and so here's the thing, I figure if that was such a huge issue for me, and I mean that was one of the most freeing things God ever did in me was to show me what my real purpose was so I could quit grasping for all these things. 00:01:40.079 --> 00:01:44.239 I figured that at least half of y'all, you struggle with it at some level. 00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:47.840 So we're gonna take off, take up where I left off two weeks ago. 00:01:48.319 --> 00:01:51.599 So I had two choices love God or love other people. 00:01:51.680 --> 00:01:52.480 That's what I could talk about. 00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:56.159 And God told me which one I'm supposed to share, so maybe there's a part three. 00:01:56.719 --> 00:02:00.000 Because I only have time to cover one of them, and I hope I have time for just the one. 00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:03.519 But basically, where he wanted me to go today was the loving others part. 00:02:04.719 --> 00:02:11.919 Probably because he knew I could talk for two hours on the loving God part, pretty much, because that's one of my favorite subjects. 00:02:12.159 --> 00:02:13.439 But I'm not gonna go there. 00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:15.680 It'd be easier for me to go there right now, but I'm not going. 00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:19.120 He really wanted me to talk about the loving others part. 00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:21.360 Now here's the thing. 00:02:21.599 --> 00:02:24.960 Here's how God taught me to love others, and believe me, I'm not an expert. 00:02:25.120 --> 00:02:26.639 I still struggle with my own issues. 00:02:26.800 --> 00:02:36.719 I think I've shared with some people in here in my class and stuff, but I used to be the most depressed, angry, miserable person. 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:44.719 And it was a lot of it was because I just had a lot of emotional wounds from my childhood from being abused and neglected, that kind of thing. 00:02:45.199 --> 00:02:46.479 But I lived in it. 00:02:46.639 --> 00:02:47.919 I lived in that pain. 00:02:48.080 --> 00:02:52.719 And so I was a miserable human being, and I had a pretty crappy life. 00:02:53.280 --> 00:03:00.319 Because your life isn't really affected by the outside, it's what's going on in here that makes you feel like you have a great life or a crappy life. 00:03:00.479 --> 00:03:01.680 Do you know what I'm talking about? 00:03:02.240 --> 00:03:03.280 Okay, so here's the thing. 00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:04.639 Here's where God took me. 00:03:04.879 --> 00:03:06.080 Total crappy life. 00:03:06.159 --> 00:03:08.000 Okay, it's about as low as you can get. 00:03:08.159 --> 00:03:12.479 And here's the thing: He has given me an awesome, awesome life. 00:03:12.800 --> 00:03:14.240 Like, yeah. 00:03:14.800 --> 00:03:16.960 And he can do that for anybody. 00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:23.919 And you can actually, instead of being here all the time, you can actually walk around and have peace. 00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:26.319 No matter what's going around on the outside. 00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:30.879 You can have peace, you can have joy, and you can kind of walk around like this. 00:03:30.960 --> 00:03:36.560 It's not like you always walk around like that, although I act like that a little bit now because I'm so excited. 00:03:36.960 --> 00:03:40.000 But but here's the thing you can walk around and you can feel like this. 00:03:41.360 --> 00:03:42.400 I'm okay. 00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:49.360 Because when you've walked around like this, I'm not okay for your whole life. 00:03:49.520 --> 00:03:51.759 I'm okay, it feels pretty good, okay? 00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:54.719 And the reason I'm okay is because I'm okay with God. 00:03:54.960 --> 00:03:59.280 So it doesn't matter what's going on around me or what anybody else is thinking about me, I'm okay. 00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:01.199 Because God loves me. 00:04:01.439 --> 00:04:04.479 Okay, but here's how God taught me to love other people. 00:04:05.680 --> 00:04:06.719 It's kind of crazy. 00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:09.919 He could have just bonked me right over the head and said, Love other people, Susan. 00:04:10.080 --> 00:04:11.919 You're being mean, you're being ugly. 00:04:12.319 --> 00:04:14.960 But he didn't do that, he did that a little bit. 00:04:15.199 --> 00:04:24.480 But here's what he did: he showed me who he is, and he showed me what he cares about. 00:04:25.519 --> 00:04:31.120 And because I was so grateful for taking me from total crap, sorry, can I say crap one more time? 00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:35.439 Okay, to total awesome, I did love him. 00:04:36.160 --> 00:04:37.120 I loved him. 00:04:37.279 --> 00:04:40.959 And so I wanted to be in line with what he thought. 00:04:41.519 --> 00:04:45.279 Because for so many, so many years I tried to get him in line with what I thought and what I wanted. 00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:48.399 Here, give me this role, give me this job, give me this title. 00:04:48.560 --> 00:04:53.680 And he's like, come on, Susan, get in line with what I am about. 00:04:54.399 --> 00:04:58.240 And so, what I want to share right now, I've got this huge section of verses. 00:04:58.399 --> 00:04:59.920 I hate to even put them up on the screen. 00:05:00.079 --> 00:05:04.000 Because I really, in fact, I'm not even sure Chris is gonna kill me. 00:05:04.079 --> 00:05:06.399 I'm not even sure we should put them up on the screen. 00:05:06.720 --> 00:05:18.399 Because I really think if I just share them with you and you just sit there and just really absorb them into you, you're gonna find out what I did when God showed me these many years ago. 00:05:18.639 --> 00:05:21.680 Who he is and what he cares about. 00:05:21.839 --> 00:05:28.000 And because he's so awesome and we love him, here's the thing: we when we hear that, we want to get in line. 00:05:28.560 --> 00:05:30.079 We want to get in line with that. 00:05:30.319 --> 00:05:32.560 And so don't even put the verses up, Chris. 00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:35.439 He's going, all that work for nothing. 00:05:37.040 --> 00:05:38.800 Okay, so it's a lot of verses, so bear with me. 00:05:38.879 --> 00:05:40.879 I'm gonna take a baby old drink of water right now. 00:05:45.120 --> 00:05:55.199 I want you to know we're going Old Testament here, and this is like so-called scary, mean Old Testament God. 00:05:55.279 --> 00:05:59.360 This is not Jesus, love, heal the sick. 00:05:59.680 --> 00:06:02.959 Now you know I'm being funny by how I'm saying that, but this is the deal. 00:06:03.279 --> 00:06:07.519 Several years ago I read the Bible fresh because God told me to. 00:06:07.600 --> 00:06:10.879 He said, start over because everything you have learned is wrong. 00:06:11.519 --> 00:06:16.720 You have listened to way too many people and heard this and that, and I just want you to please start over. 00:06:16.879 --> 00:06:17.839 Good grief. 00:06:18.480 --> 00:06:19.199 So I did. 00:06:19.279 --> 00:06:24.959 I read it fresh for the first time, and I was, I'm telling you, I was amazed. 00:06:25.439 --> 00:06:29.920 I was amazed because what I found out is the same God in the Old Testament and the New Testament. 00:06:30.560 --> 00:06:35.680 You know, when Jesus came and said he's the exact representation of God the Father, he meant it. 00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:41.600 You say, Yeah, but all those battles and all the fighting and all this stuff in the Old Testament, there's reasons you can get into that. 00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:42.879 We're not going to today. 00:06:43.120 --> 00:06:45.519 But I'm sure I'm reading from the Old Testament. 00:06:45.920 --> 00:06:47.360 I see Maritza right there. 00:06:47.439 --> 00:06:49.040 These are your verses, lady. 00:06:49.199 --> 00:06:51.199 These are her life verses, aren't they? 00:06:51.519 --> 00:06:52.160 All right. 00:06:53.279 --> 00:06:55.360 That's so weird that I just saw you out of everybody. 00:06:56.720 --> 00:06:57.360 All right. 00:06:58.160 --> 00:07:00.160 It's from Isaiah 57. 00:07:00.879 --> 00:07:03.360 I won't tell you how many verses so you don't run out of here. 00:07:04.720 --> 00:07:04.959 Okay? 00:07:05.120 --> 00:07:06.800 Now remember what we're reading. 00:07:07.040 --> 00:07:10.800 This is going to tell us who God is and what he cares about. 00:07:12.319 --> 00:07:19.600 Starts off a message from the high and towering God who lives in eternity, whose name is holy. 00:07:19.759 --> 00:07:20.800 This is what he says. 00:07:20.959 --> 00:07:23.519 I live in the high and holy places. 00:07:23.759 --> 00:07:26.560 Whoa, that sounds like Old Testament God to me. 00:07:27.600 --> 00:07:28.959 Because he is God. 00:07:29.839 --> 00:07:30.800 He is God. 00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:33.199 But here's what he says. 00:07:34.319 --> 00:07:40.160 But also I live with the low-spirited, the spirit crushed. 00:07:41.120 --> 00:07:45.759 And what I do is put new spirit in them, get them up and on their feet again. 00:07:47.680 --> 00:07:52.319 For I'm not going to haul people into court endlessly, I'm not going to be angry forever. 00:07:52.560 --> 00:07:54.800 Otherwise, people would lose heart. 00:07:55.040 --> 00:07:57.839 These souls I created would tire out and give up. 00:07:58.000 --> 00:07:59.600 Now here's listen to this. 00:07:59.920 --> 00:08:04.560 I was angry, good and angry because of Israel's sins. 00:08:04.800 --> 00:08:09.759 I struck him hard and turned away in anger while he kept at his stubborn, willful ways. 00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:18.399 When I looked again and saw what he was doing, I decided to heal him, lead him, and comfort him, creating a new language of praise for the mourners. 00:08:18.639 --> 00:08:23.759 Peace to the far off, peace to the near at hand, says God, and yes, I will heal them. 00:08:24.079 --> 00:08:27.920 But the wicked are storm-battered seas that can't quiet down. 00:08:28.079 --> 00:08:30.000 The waves stir up garbage and mud. 00:08:30.079 --> 00:08:32.559 There's no peace, God says, for the wicked. 00:08:33.919 --> 00:08:36.240 He's pretty angry, I think, here. 00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:43.840 He's upset about something, and we're we're gonna find out what he's upset about, and it might surprise you. 00:08:45.200 --> 00:08:46.799 It might surprise you. 00:08:50.159 --> 00:08:53.039 He's talking to Isaiah, his prophet, here, okay? 00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:54.480 And here's what he says to him next. 00:08:54.639 --> 00:09:06.559 He tells Isaiah, shout! A full-throated shout, hold nothing back, a trumpet blast shout, and tell my people what's wrong with their lives, and face my family, Jacob, with their sins. 00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:11.759 And here's what their sins are. 00:09:13.279 --> 00:09:14.080 The next thing. 00:09:14.240 --> 00:09:15.759 Here's what their sins are. 00:09:18.320 --> 00:09:22.960 They're busy, busy, busy at worship. 00:09:25.120 --> 00:09:28.000 And love studying all about me. 00:09:28.399 --> 00:09:34.080 To all appearances, they're a nation of right-living people, law-abiding, God-honoring. 00:09:34.639 --> 00:09:41.840 They ask me what's the right thing to do and love having me on their side, but they also complain, why do we fast and you don't look our way? 00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:45.120 Why do we humble ourselves and you don't even notice? 00:09:45.279 --> 00:09:46.960 Well, here's why. 00:09:49.519 --> 00:09:52.320 I'm about to tell you why in the next verses. 00:09:52.639 --> 00:09:54.799 But that sounds like good church to me. 00:09:56.480 --> 00:10:00.320 They're busy, busy, busy at worship. 00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:02.639 They love studying all about me. 00:10:02.799 --> 00:10:03.519 They fast. 00:10:04.639 --> 00:10:05.279 Wow. 00:10:05.600 --> 00:10:09.360 I can't even hardly make myself fast unless God forces me to. 00:10:09.919 --> 00:10:11.519 That's good church. 00:10:13.039 --> 00:10:16.080 There's nothing wrong with that at all. 00:10:17.759 --> 00:10:20.879 But God's saying there's a big problem here, and here's what it is. 00:10:21.039 --> 00:10:22.720 Well, here's why. 00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:25.039 I don't answer their prayers. 00:10:28.159 --> 00:10:32.240 The bottom line on your fast days is profit. 00:10:32.960 --> 00:10:38.159 Because, see, they can make a lot more money when their employees weren't worrying about having to go make their food and fix their food. 00:10:38.320 --> 00:10:39.840 They can make a lot more money. 00:10:40.159 --> 00:10:43.279 You drive your employees much too hard. 00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:48.960 You fast, but at the same time you bicker and fight. 00:10:49.600 --> 00:10:53.919 You fast, but you swing a mean fist. 00:10:54.879 --> 00:10:57.919 The kind of fasting you do won't get your prayers off the ground. 00:10:58.080 --> 00:11:00.480 Do you think this is the kind of fast day I'm after? 00:11:00.639 --> 00:11:07.360 A day to show off humility, to put on a pious long face and parade around solemnly in black? 00:11:07.679 --> 00:11:13.200 Do you call that fasting a fast day that I, God, would like? 00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:18.240 This is what he says. 00:11:18.559 --> 00:11:21.600 This is the kind of fast day I'm after. 00:11:23.039 --> 00:11:32.879 To break the chains of injustice, to get rid of exploitation in the workplace, to free the oppressed, to cancel debts. 00:11:33.039 --> 00:11:49.759 What I'm interested in seeing you do is this: sharing your food with the hungry, inviting the homeless poor into your homes, putting clothes on the shivering, ill-clad, and being available to your own families. 00:11:52.159 --> 00:11:53.519 Are you shocked? 00:11:55.840 --> 00:11:58.320 Do you think God wants religion out of us? 00:11:58.480 --> 00:11:59.679 No, heck no. 00:12:01.440 --> 00:12:02.480 This is what he wants. 00:12:02.639 --> 00:12:03.919 Do you know what he's talking about here? 00:12:04.159 --> 00:12:06.639 Do you get the connection from the message two weeks ago? 00:12:06.879 --> 00:12:08.399 The love others part. 00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:11.519 This is what God cares about. 00:12:12.639 --> 00:12:20.240 He cares about people, and he especially has a soft heart for hurting people. 00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:22.639 Hurting people. 00:12:24.639 --> 00:12:29.519 Then he says, Do this, and the lights will turn on, and your lives will turn around at once. 00:12:29.759 --> 00:12:31.360 Your righteousness will pave your way. 00:12:31.519 --> 00:12:33.919 The God of glory will secure your passage. 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:36.000 And then when you pray, God will answer. 00:12:36.159 --> 00:12:39.200 You'll call out for help, and I'll say, Here I am. 00:12:39.679 --> 00:12:47.440 If you get rid of unfair practices, quit blaming victims, quit gossiping about other people's sins. 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:57.600 If you are generous with the hungry and start giving yourselves to the down and out, your lives will begin to glow in the darkness. 00:12:58.000 --> 00:13:01.919 Your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight. 00:13:02.960 --> 00:13:05.440 Are you shocked that this is Old Testament God? 00:13:08.480 --> 00:13:13.759 I was shocked when I went back and read the Bible all in one piece, like an actual book, hello. 00:13:14.960 --> 00:13:16.879 I was shocked how God is. 00:13:17.200 --> 00:13:18.399 God loves people. 00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:20.480 That's why He wants me to love people. 00:13:20.639 --> 00:13:24.320 And He really cares about hurting people. 00:13:24.559 --> 00:13:27.600 And therefore He wants me to care about hurting people. 00:13:28.960 --> 00:13:35.120 You know, the thread or the theme, whatever you want to call it, that I saw all through the Old Testament and the New Testament was this. 00:13:36.720 --> 00:13:39.200 Over and over and over, here's what God says. 00:13:39.440 --> 00:13:42.320 He gets upset about this one thing over and over and over. 00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:46.960 When people, when there are evil rulers who are oppressing people. 00:13:47.759 --> 00:13:53.279 And he gets really upset when people, when foreigners and widows and orphans are not taken care of. 00:13:53.519 --> 00:13:56.720 He gets really upset when people aren't helping the poor. 00:13:57.120 --> 00:14:03.360 And it's not because he's mean God or he has all these rules and regulations, it's because he loves people. 00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:07.840 He loves people and he cares about hurting people. 00:14:08.080 --> 00:14:11.840 That was the thread I saw all through the whole Bible, and it opened my eyes. 00:14:12.000 --> 00:14:14.000 And I wanted to be like that. 00:14:14.799 --> 00:14:21.039 But here's the thing: you can't give love if you don't have any. 00:14:21.440 --> 00:14:22.960 God showed me that a long time ago. 00:14:23.120 --> 00:14:27.919 He said, you can't impart, which is an even stronger word than give. 00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:33.679 You can't pour, take some of yours and give it to somebody else if you don't have any have it. 00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:37.120 It's just like you can't give someone money who needs money if you don't have any. 00:14:37.200 --> 00:14:39.759 You can't give love if you don't have any. 00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:41.759 So you've got to be connected with God. 00:14:42.159 --> 00:14:45.360 Got to be connected with God, because that's how you get filled up. 00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:46.559 Alright. 00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:49.120 So here's the problem. 00:14:49.279 --> 00:14:53.600 If someone would have shown me this message ten years ago, I would have said, well, that's really good and all. 00:14:55.120 --> 00:14:56.799 That sounds pretty good. 00:14:57.600 --> 00:14:59.440 But I'm hurt. 00:14:59.759 --> 00:15:01.360 I'm a hurting person. 00:15:03.200 --> 00:15:04.480 I need help. 00:15:04.720 --> 00:15:05.679 I need love. 00:15:06.480 --> 00:15:11.519 You know, it's all I can do to take care of me and my kids and my finances and my job, and da-da-da-da-da. 00:15:11.840 --> 00:15:14.720 And that that's probably true, because here's the truth. 00:15:15.759 --> 00:15:19.440 Every single person in this room is hurting in some way. 00:15:22.480 --> 00:15:27.200 You know, when God tells us to help the poor, it's not just the financially poor, all that is huge. 00:15:27.360 --> 00:15:30.320 That's hugely important to help the poor. 00:15:31.200 --> 00:15:33.759 But it's also the poor in spirit. 00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:35.279 The poor in spirit. 00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:38.480 And there's not one person in this room right now who's not hurting in some area. 00:15:38.799 --> 00:15:39.440 I am. 00:15:40.799 --> 00:15:42.799 So maybe y'all aren't, but I am. 00:15:43.120 --> 00:15:44.960 And I had issues this week, and you know what? 00:15:45.039 --> 00:15:46.720 There were other people around me. 00:15:47.039 --> 00:15:51.600 My sister, she kind of shot straight with me and told me the truth about something, which didn't feel too good. 00:15:51.840 --> 00:15:57.759 But that was that's a way of loving someone, too, to say it in love the truth when you have credibility there. 00:15:58.000 --> 00:16:00.879 But I had other people who said, I'm gonna pray for you this week. 00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:05.279 Okay, so even I'm hurting. 00:16:05.600 --> 00:16:08.320 And there's all different levels, all different levels of that. 00:16:08.399 --> 00:16:09.840 But but look around. 00:16:10.080 --> 00:16:10.720 Look around. 00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:13.039 God wants us to see each other. 00:16:13.440 --> 00:16:19.919 He doesn't want us to live in a little bubble where we're not aware of the hurting in people around us. 00:16:20.240 --> 00:16:25.279 He wants us to see, and then he wants us to be led by him how to help them. 00:16:25.440 --> 00:16:28.159 Because sometimes you're not supposed to fix it, only he can fix it. 00:16:28.320 --> 00:16:29.440 You gotta be led by him. 00:16:29.679 --> 00:16:30.000 Okay. 00:16:32.559 --> 00:16:38.240 So, anyway, if God would have showed me this message years ago, I would have been like, well, what about me? 00:16:40.399 --> 00:16:44.159 And so I want to share a story with you that happened to me in my bathroom. 00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:45.679 I was, I know. 00:16:46.320 --> 00:16:50.399 I've I used to be prim and proper and prissy, and I don't know what's happened to me. 00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:53.039 Okay, God just messed me all up. 00:16:53.200 --> 00:17:09.599 But but here's the thing last spring, I was in my bathroom and I was getting ready to go to a wedding shower that I'd been invited to, and I had like half an hour, and I'm just busting it, throwing clothes on, fixing my hair, and I'm thinking about how can I get him a gift this fast? 00:17:09.680 --> 00:17:13.039 Because I'd run out of time and I'm like, I'm gonna have to stop at CBS and get him a gift card. 00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:15.599 I mean, just a mile a minute, okay? 00:17:15.759 --> 00:17:17.279 Crazy trying to let the dog out. 00:17:19.359 --> 00:17:21.759 And I'm standing in my bathroom, and here's what happens. 00:17:21.920 --> 00:17:25.279 I had like a God moment or God half hour. 00:17:27.359 --> 00:17:29.759 And all of a sudden, boom. 00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:34.960 God reminds me of something that I had not thought about for years, and here's what it was. 00:17:35.119 --> 00:17:36.960 Y'all may not know this about me. 00:17:37.759 --> 00:17:39.920 But when I was 17, I got pregnant. 00:17:43.200 --> 00:17:44.559 Remember that total crap? 00:17:44.799 --> 00:17:45.680 Awesome. 00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:47.039 God can do it. 00:17:47.200 --> 00:17:55.440 But here's the thing, I got pregnant, and I always make a joke when I share this story, but you know, looking for love in all the wrong places, but you really can't say that because it was Steve, okay? 00:17:55.680 --> 00:17:56.880 That I got pregnant with. 00:17:57.119 --> 00:17:58.720 I just can't help myself by saying that. 00:17:58.799 --> 00:17:59.680 But here's the thing. 00:17:59.920 --> 00:18:06.400 Uh but but anyway, it all God can work anything out, and that is proof right there. 00:18:06.559 --> 00:18:08.000 That's all I got to say. 00:18:09.680 --> 00:18:11.279 Okay, well, I got pregnant. 00:18:11.440 --> 00:18:16.240 Now, in the weird, just give me some grace here, people. 00:18:16.319 --> 00:18:25.039 But here's the thing, in the weird church subculture that Steve and I grew up in, oh my goodness, you don't do that. 00:18:27.039 --> 00:18:32.079 And and here's the thing, I mean, when Steve called his parents to tell them, they're like, Well, we don't think we can come to the wedding. 00:18:32.240 --> 00:18:38.319 I asked a lady to help with our wedding at church, and she was like, Well, my husband won't let me because of what you've done. 00:18:39.279 --> 00:18:42.079 Even in that church, that's and I'm we're over it now. 00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:44.960 Okay, so I'm about to share, we're not just over it. 00:18:45.039 --> 00:18:46.000 Something good came out of it. 00:18:46.079 --> 00:18:47.039 But here's the thing. 00:18:47.359 --> 00:18:48.640 Steve even had to go. 00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:55.200 What was expected when you did like an obvious sin like that, you had to go in front of the church and confess what you had done. 00:18:55.599 --> 00:18:55.920 Okay? 00:18:56.240 --> 00:18:58.400 That's just that's how they did it. 00:18:58.640 --> 00:19:00.960 And so Steve went forward, that's what they call it. 00:19:01.039 --> 00:19:03.119 Go, you gotta go forward and confess your sin publicly. 00:19:03.200 --> 00:19:08.720 So Steve went up and he did that in front of those, you know, 150 people or whatever. 00:19:08.960 --> 00:19:11.680 And did that, and I sat on the front row. 00:19:12.160 --> 00:19:16.960 17-year-old girl sat on the front row by myself, bawling my head off, and nobody would sit with me. 00:19:18.400 --> 00:19:23.119 Nobody in my family and none of my friends would sit with me because from that moment on I was marked. 00:19:24.319 --> 00:19:25.599 17-year-old girl. 00:19:25.759 --> 00:19:28.400 Oh, yeah, I was this evil seductress. 00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:29.039 No. 00:19:29.680 --> 00:19:36.079 No, I was a wounded, abused, neglected girl, is what I was, and that's why I was looking for love in all the wrong places. 00:19:36.720 --> 00:19:37.759 Makes sense. 00:19:38.640 --> 00:19:38.960 Okay? 00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:41.119 Well, here's what God reminded me. 00:19:41.279 --> 00:19:47.599 All that came flooding back into my brain and my heart, standing in my bathroom, and I'm like, what is going on? 00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:51.279 And here's what God said you never had a shower. 00:19:55.119 --> 00:19:57.039 Because you didn't deserve one. 00:19:58.880 --> 00:19:59.200 Okay? 00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:04.160 And I had kind of pushed that out of my mind, and this is the truth. 00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:08.079 I never cried about it at the time because I really believed I didn't deserve one. 00:20:08.559 --> 00:20:10.400 Because of what I had done. 00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:15.200 And I mean, I stood in my bathroom and I balled my stinking head off. 00:20:15.519 --> 00:20:17.920 I mean, balled, like wailed. 00:20:18.240 --> 00:20:22.640 And after about three minutes of that, I got a little annoyed. 00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:24.400 Because that's not who I am anymore. 00:20:24.559 --> 00:20:28.799 I mean, I cry plenty, but not about that kind of pain from my past. 00:20:29.680 --> 00:20:33.680 And I said to God, I was actually irritated with God for making me feel that. 00:20:34.079 --> 00:20:37.359 And I said, that's not who I am anymore, God. 00:20:37.440 --> 00:20:38.880 I don't live in that pain. 00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:40.720 I don't live in that pain. 00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:44.400 And here's what he said. 00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:46.400 Yes, that's right. 00:20:46.559 --> 00:20:49.200 You don't live in that pain anymore, and that's good. 00:20:49.599 --> 00:20:51.839 Because he doesn't want me living in that pain. 00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:54.079 And here's what he said to me. 00:20:55.200 --> 00:20:57.039 But I don't want you to forget. 00:20:59.440 --> 00:21:01.680 Don't live in it, but I don't want you to forget. 00:21:01.759 --> 00:21:02.640 And here's what he said to me. 00:21:02.799 --> 00:21:08.079 Now, you guys may not have heard this phrase, but I've used this phrase over and over in my life, so it was very familiar to me. 00:21:08.880 --> 00:21:12.400 And he said, You're always saying hurt people, hurt people. 00:21:12.559 --> 00:21:13.279 That's what he said to me. 00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:14.880 You're always saying hurt people, hurt people. 00:21:14.960 --> 00:21:16.160 Have y'all heard that phrase? 00:21:16.400 --> 00:21:17.359 Do you know what that means? 00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:23.599 It's basically like, you know, the cycle of abuse continues on because when you're hurt, you lash out, rah, it's like a wounded animal, rah. 00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:25.359 Try to help it, rah. 00:21:26.000 --> 00:21:28.240 Because all you got inside of you is hurt. 00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:33.119 And he said, here's the thing, no more. 00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:37.599 And this wasn't just for me, because this was just last year. 00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:40.240 It's for here. 00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:42.720 It's for us. 00:21:43.759 --> 00:21:45.920 He said, it's not supposed to be like that. 00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:47.200 Hurt people, hurt people. 00:21:47.359 --> 00:21:53.200 Here's what he said hurt people help the people. 00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:57.920 Hurt people love the people. 00:21:58.880 --> 00:21:59.759 Her people. 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:01.200 I get this one. 00:22:01.519 --> 00:22:02.960 Have empathy for people. 00:22:03.039 --> 00:22:04.000 And do you know why? 00:22:04.319 --> 00:22:05.440 Been there, done that. 00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:10.160 Do you get what I'm saying? 00:22:10.960 --> 00:22:13.039 It's out of your pain and your hurt. 00:22:13.119 --> 00:22:23.839 The thing that you think just keeps you down, keeps you broken, keeps you oppressed, keeps you totally focused on self, so you can't even look and be aware of anybody else because you got your own pain and hurt to deal with. 00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:26.559 It's that very that's what Satan wants to do with it. 00:22:27.039 --> 00:22:30.319 That's what Satan, he loves it when you stay there. 00:22:31.359 --> 00:22:32.640 He loves it. 00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:36.480 Because you're not helping anybody and you're definitely not helping yourself. 00:22:37.039 --> 00:22:40.799 But here's the thing: God wants to, he's amazing. 00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:43.200 Total crap, total awesome. 00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:48.240 He wants to use that very pain and hurt. 00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:51.599 I'm talking the worst thing that was ever, you know, I was very abused. 00:22:52.880 --> 00:22:54.000 In every way. 00:22:56.240 --> 00:22:57.519 I was very neglected. 00:22:57.599 --> 00:23:04.880 You know, my parents never, one time as a child and a teenager, told me they loved me, gave me a hug, or gave me a kiss. 00:23:06.480 --> 00:23:09.200 And I mean, there's a lot of worse stories in this group, I'm sure. 00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:10.480 Lots worse. 00:23:10.880 --> 00:23:13.440 But that wasn't too good, I'm just gonna tell you. 00:23:13.680 --> 00:23:20.480 Because I woke, I grew up feeling like a big fat nothing, and nobody's gonna love me, and there's no purpose for my life. 00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:22.000 It was horrible. 00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:25.359 It was horrible. 00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:28.960 The worst thing that had ever been done with to me was that. 00:23:29.440 --> 00:23:31.119 And here's what God said. 00:23:31.759 --> 00:23:33.279 I'm gonna use it. 00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:39.440 I'm gonna use it, and the actual, and here's what God showed me over and over the very worst thing that's ever happened to you in your life. 00:23:39.920 --> 00:23:41.680 The very worst thing. 00:23:43.440 --> 00:23:46.480 That can be the greatest thing in your life. 00:23:46.720 --> 00:23:51.440 The greatest thing in your life, and the thing that can actually help the most people. 00:23:51.599 --> 00:23:54.000 Do you know why I got something to share with you today? 00:23:54.640 --> 00:23:57.440 Because the worst thing that ever happened in my life. 00:23:57.680 --> 00:24:04.400 And why do I even care about helping anybody or loving anybody or seeing anybody healed or seeing anybody get connected to God? 00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:08.960 The only reason I care is because I've been in a bad place before. 00:24:09.119 --> 00:24:12.160 I've been totally depressed, totally angry, totally psycho. 00:24:12.319 --> 00:24:13.599 Just ask Steve. 00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:21.599 And God didn't want me to live in that, but He didn't want me to forget how it feels. 00:24:21.920 --> 00:24:25.440 Because that's, you know, when I see somebody walking around depressed, I care. 00:24:26.319 --> 00:24:29.119 I don't just ignore and be like, oh, and I try to help them. 00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:32.319 I try to use the tools God has shown me to help them get out of depression. 00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:38.160 When I see a pregnant teenage girl, do you think I condemn her and judge her? 00:24:39.519 --> 00:24:40.480 Hell no. 00:24:50.720 --> 00:24:56.880 You know, a good friend of mine, she went through a horrible, horrible situation about a year ago. 00:24:57.119 --> 00:24:58.960 Just the worst thing that ever happened in her life. 00:24:59.039 --> 00:25:00.079 And here's the funny thing about her. 00:25:00.160 --> 00:25:04.079 You know how I grew up kind of she had a really good upbringing. 00:25:04.319 --> 00:25:08.160 Loving parents, and she had never really felt that much pain. 00:25:08.400 --> 00:25:12.240 And then she had this horrible traumatic event happen in her life. 00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:16.640 And she told me after that happened, she said, God showed me something. 00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:23.920 I realized after this happened that I actually did not really care about hurting people. 00:25:24.400 --> 00:25:26.480 I really didn't have empathy. 00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:30.559 In fact, I kind of judged them like they just need to kind of pull it together. 00:25:31.759 --> 00:25:41.200 And after that happened to her, the worst thing she could imagine happening to her, all of a sudden God softened her heart supernaturally. 00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:49.440 And all of a sudden, she became aware of poor people and hurting people and people struggling in situations that weren't in their control. 00:25:49.759 --> 00:25:50.880 She cared. 00:25:51.599 --> 00:25:52.720 She cared. 00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:56.160 Alright, I'm totally off my outline, so let me find my place. 00:26:01.119 --> 00:26:02.079 Alright. 00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:08.160