WEBVTT 00:00:00.239 --> 00:00:01.040 Good morning, Church. 00:00:01.360 --> 00:00:01.760 Good morning. 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:06.879 Reading from First Corinthians seven, this whole council of God's Word, we're just going to get into it. 00:00:07.919 --> 00:00:14.880 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. 00:00:15.279 --> 00:00:21.839 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 00:00:22.079 --> 00:00:27.199 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 00:00:27.440 --> 00:00:31.600 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. 00:00:31.839 --> 00:00:36.960 Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 00:00:37.280 --> 00:00:49.520 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self control. 00:00:50.159 --> 00:00:54.240 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 00:00:54.719 --> 00:01:02.479 I wish that all were as I myself am, but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 00:01:02.719 --> 00:01:08.239 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. 00:01:08.560 --> 00:01:14.879 But if they cannot exercise self control, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 00:01:15.439 --> 00:01:18.959 To the married I give this charge, not I but the Lord. 00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:28.959 The wife should not separate from her husband, but if she does, she should remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband, and the husband should not divorce his wife. 00:01:29.200 --> 00:01:38.799 To the rest I say, I, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 00:01:39.040 --> 00:01:45.040 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 00:01:45.280 --> 00:01:51.120 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. 00:01:51.359 --> 00:01:53.840 Otherwise your children would be unclean. 00:01:54.159 --> 00:01:56.480 But as it is, they are holy. 00:01:56.799 --> 00:02:00.560 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. 00:02:00.799 --> 00:02:03.840 In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. 00:02:04.159 --> 00:02:06.159 God has called you to peace. 00:02:06.480 --> 00:02:09.840 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:13.199 Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 00:02:13.439 --> 00:02:14.240 This is God's word. 00:02:14.479 --> 00:02:15.280 You may be seated. 00:02:20.800 --> 00:02:22.000 Good morning. 00:02:24.240 --> 00:02:26.080 Thank you for joining us this morning. 00:02:26.240 --> 00:02:27.439 My name is James Rathman. 00:02:27.520 --> 00:02:29.280 I'm the pastor here at Redemption Church Denver. 00:02:29.360 --> 00:02:35.439 It's great to gather together with you all to worship and sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. 00:02:35.520 --> 00:02:39.520 It seems like a good idea for us to do to one another. 00:02:39.599 --> 00:02:41.039 Somebody should write that down. 00:02:43.280 --> 00:02:48.639 And before we move into today's text, which will conclude our marriage series, let's pray together. 00:02:52.719 --> 00:03:04.319 Lord Jesus, we pray that you would open our hearts, that we might hear your word, we might be instructed by it, encouraged, exhorted, rebuked, reproved. 00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:09.680 Lord, that we might be shaped by your word to be more like you. 00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:33.599 Lord, we pray that you would apply your word by your spirit to our hearts, so that we might grow in understanding, and that we might be able to know how it is that you call us to live in the very lives that you have placed us in, in the very circumstances that we find ourselves in today. 00:03:34.639 --> 00:03:44.159 Lord, we know that you call us to righteousness, and that you give us this righteousness freely in your Son. 00:03:45.199 --> 00:04:01.280 Lord, I pray that as we move into these texts, which enter the most personal parts of our lives, the most intimate sanctuaries of our lives, Lord, that we are also entering into the places of some of our deepest brokenness. 00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:06.639 Lord, I pray that you would bring your forgiveness there. 00:04:07.439 --> 00:04:15.120 Let us know that the righteousness that you call us to is possible for us to pursue right where we are. 00:04:16.480 --> 00:04:19.920 So Lord, I pray that you would work in our lives by this text. 00:04:20.560 --> 00:04:21.920 Lift this up in Jesus' name. 00:04:22.079 --> 00:04:22.480 Amen. 00:04:23.839 --> 00:04:27.839 So today we conclude our uh marriage series. 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:31.519 This is the tenth week of our marriage series, a 10-week marriage series. 00:04:31.600 --> 00:04:34.480 That's uh that's a long marriage series, so great job, everybody. 00:04:34.639 --> 00:04:43.279 And this is sort of like an epilogue to the marriage series because we are going into what are some of like the loose ends. 00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:49.519 Now I think throughout this marriage series, uh many of you have probably been thinking, wow, that sounds great. 00:04:49.680 --> 00:04:52.480 This is a beautiful picture of Christ in the church. 00:04:52.720 --> 00:05:03.920 Uh I am uh uh amazed and find wonder and beauty at what marriage is supposed to look like and how we're supposed to participate in marriage. 00:05:04.240 --> 00:05:10.720 And I hope that this marriage series is really great for a lot of other people, but it's too late for me. 00:05:11.279 --> 00:05:19.199 All this information is too little, too late, and I don't uh how am I supposed to participate in this? 00:05:19.519 --> 00:05:22.399 I can't participate in this structure in my own marriage. 00:05:22.639 --> 00:05:24.639 It's too painful and challenging. 00:05:24.720 --> 00:05:26.079 I've tried too often. 00:05:26.319 --> 00:05:32.079 I'm no longer in the marriage that I started in, and so what does any of this mean for me? 00:05:32.560 --> 00:05:41.439 I have been plagued by sexual immorality my whole life, and so what hope is there of experiencing a sexual purity? 00:05:42.480 --> 00:05:46.319 And I'm not married, many of you have been thinking. 00:05:46.560 --> 00:05:49.439 So what do I do? 00:05:49.680 --> 00:05:53.040 How do I do does any of this mean anything for me? 00:05:53.360 --> 00:06:07.839 So thankfully, um uh Paul uh wrote this letter to the Corinthians, and in it you can address uh basically all of those topics in uh one section of scripture. 00:06:08.160 --> 00:06:20.079 So we get to expound the section of scripture and we'll look at these what have been sort of loose ends for our series, but for many of you are not loose ends, they're central to the way that you've been hearing this and understanding this. 00:06:20.160 --> 00:06:26.720 And so I hope that you find this uh text of scripture encouraging and enlightening for those particular issues. 00:06:26.879 --> 00:06:46.639 But one thing before we begin that I want us to understand together is that there you are not in a situation in which Christ is not calling you to himself and calling you to obedience in him now. 00:06:47.680 --> 00:06:48.560 Right now. 00:06:49.120 --> 00:07:06.639 There's no situation you find yourself in in which you are too far gone, or in which you've made mistakes such that it's too late to re-enter the path of righteousness that the Lord calls you to walk on. 00:07:06.800 --> 00:07:08.720 You're not outside his call. 00:07:08.959 --> 00:07:12.959 And we can know this just from our own marriage series. 00:07:13.199 --> 00:07:16.959 Remember, we looked at the creation of marriage, and it was wonderful and great. 00:07:17.120 --> 00:07:22.800 Then we looked at the fall of marriage, and it was horrible and tragic, and then we looked at the redemption of marriage. 00:07:23.120 --> 00:07:33.360 And the story that we looked at for the redemption of marriage was Jesus himself as the true husband coming and seeking his bride, the church. 00:07:33.680 --> 00:07:41.279 And the picture of that that we saw was when Jesus meets with the Samaritan woman, the woman at the well. 00:07:41.839 --> 00:07:53.439 And remember, the woman at the well that he met at, and we saw how the structure of that story, you know, if there's one thing that you've learned from this marriage series, is if you're going to meet a wife, where do you meet her? 00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:54.560 A well. 00:07:54.800 --> 00:07:58.240 Wives or at wells, which will also be my instruction for single people. 00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:01.600 It's my application. 00:08:02.240 --> 00:08:07.199 This sermon, if you'd like to remedy that, then go to the well. 00:08:07.279 --> 00:08:10.240 Where what do you no? 00:08:10.319 --> 00:08:14.720 I have I I unfortunately have no advice that's so practical for that. 00:08:15.839 --> 00:08:23.040 Um he goes to find his bride at the well, and in what condition does he seek her out? 00:08:24.720 --> 00:08:28.480 She has had five previous husbands. 00:08:30.560 --> 00:08:36.159 Currently, the man she is living with, the sixth man, is not her husband. 00:08:36.399 --> 00:08:38.080 Or five previous men that she's been with. 00:08:38.159 --> 00:08:40.000 We don't know if they were her husbands. 00:08:40.480 --> 00:08:44.000 And the current man that she's living with is not her husband. 00:08:45.279 --> 00:09:02.080 And when Jesus meets with her, the explanation that he gives her is not, well, you know, I've got some great advice for you that to call you into worshiping in spirit and in truth, but you won't be able to participate in that. 00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:05.840 Because, well, you're just too deep. 00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:07.600 It's too complicated. 00:09:07.840 --> 00:09:09.600 There's a you can't unwind this. 00:09:09.679 --> 00:09:16.799 There are too many pitfalls that you've been in in this relationship, and it's it's just obviously over for you. 00:09:17.039 --> 00:09:22.240 So I don't know, any other women coming to this well later today? 00:09:23.600 --> 00:09:30.639 No, Jesus calls her to true worship in spirit and in truth. 00:09:31.279 --> 00:09:46.639 So this text, the instruction of the scriptures, the call to righteousness in the area of marriage, or in the area of singleness, the area of sexual purity, this call is for you now, today. 00:09:47.279 --> 00:09:48.639 It is always today. 00:09:48.960 --> 00:10:02.480 Jesus, the the one of the best parts of this gospel that we have to share is that you are not too far gone for him, but his grace is sufficient. 00:10:02.720 --> 00:10:08.799 So we can hear these texts knowing that, and and in a sense, as a as a proclamation of that. 00:10:09.279 --> 00:10:10.960 So we're looking at three topics. 00:10:11.120 --> 00:10:21.039 The first topic is sexual sex within marriage, the second topic is singleness, and the third topic is divorce. 00:10:21.279 --> 00:10:22.799 So we're going to move through these. 00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:26.320 I hope that they are they are practical and beneficial. 00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:30.080 We'll see what the scripture says about these three very important topics. 00:10:30.320 --> 00:10:31.840 So the first topic is sex. 00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:40.399 1 Corinthians 7 1, it says, Now concerning the matters about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. 00:10:40.639 --> 00:10:42.399 That's a strange thing. 00:10:43.039 --> 00:10:46.159 We have to sort of understand the shape of 1 Corinthians. 00:10:46.320 --> 00:10:54.960 1 Corinthians is sort of like listening to one half of a conversation, and we don't get to hear what the other half is, but we get little insights into what the other half is. 00:10:55.120 --> 00:11:04.720 Paul is responding to a letter that the church in Corinth had sent him, and it includes descriptions of events that are going on as well as particular questions that they want him to address. 00:11:04.879 --> 00:11:16.559 Now, the whole letter isn't Paul addressing things that they've asked about, but the parts of the letters that certainly are are the ones that begin with now concerning the matters about which you wrote. 00:11:16.799 --> 00:11:22.639 You can tell in those parts, if you're uh in the especially if you know the Greek. 00:11:24.559 --> 00:11:26.960 Just kidding, you can tell just by reading it in in English. 00:11:27.120 --> 00:11:28.320 Translation is very good. 00:11:28.639 --> 00:11:31.759 That now he's talking about things that they wrote about. 00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:36.000 See, this is the type of exegesis that you show up for. 00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:41.759 And then he uh he addresses, he names the particular topic. 00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:52.399 And so what they what they had said to him or posited to him was that it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. 00:11:52.879 --> 00:12:03.120 So this is 1 Corinthians chapter 7, right before that is 1 Corinthians chapter 6, and 1 Corinthians chapter 6, he discusses the sexual immorality that had been plaguing the church in Corinth. 00:12:03.360 --> 00:12:15.840 And perhaps this was something that they knew about, and they had maybe concluded, you know, uh the sexual aspect of our lives is such an arena of sin. 00:12:17.600 --> 00:12:33.279 Perhaps it is best if we cut that off entirely and that we remove the sexual aspect from our lives completely, because it's too dangerous and there's too much of a possibility for contamination. 00:12:33.440 --> 00:12:52.480 And so, even married couples, perhaps, it would be better if the husband moved off into the desert and lived as a desert monastic, a desert father, who centuries later Christians would attribute everything they didn't know where it came from to the desert fathers. 00:12:56.879 --> 00:13:00.159 Now, much of the church has assumed that this is the case. 00:13:00.879 --> 00:13:04.879 The Catholic Church, for example, does not allow their priests to marry. 00:13:05.039 --> 00:13:09.679 They have prohibitions of marriage for the most holy people. 00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:11.840 Now, this is not scriptural. 00:13:12.159 --> 00:13:16.559 This is a this is plainly against the teachings of Scripture. 00:13:17.360 --> 00:13:26.320 Although sexuality is an arena for immorality, it is also an arena for glory. 00:13:27.840 --> 00:13:36.720 And it is a place of goodness and blessing from the Lord, so long as it is within the married context. 00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:41.679 Within the context of marriage, sex is good. 00:13:42.240 --> 00:13:44.480 It is a good thing. 00:13:45.519 --> 00:13:46.559 It is a good thing. 00:13:46.639 --> 00:13:51.759 And if that is written off, that is a bad thing. 00:13:52.240 --> 00:13:56.480 So Paul explains this clearly in the next section. 00:13:56.559 --> 00:14:12.720 So right away he says in 1 Corinthians 7.3, you've said this, but so like not that, it is not good that a man should uh refrain from having sexual relations with a woman. 00:14:13.679 --> 00:14:25.360 He says, but because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 00:14:25.679 --> 00:14:33.360 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 00:14:34.480 --> 00:14:40.559 So just so it is said, sexual relations should only be within the context of marriage. 00:14:41.039 --> 00:14:48.240 This is the only place that that that this is the only arena in which that can take place and be moral. 00:14:48.720 --> 00:14:56.720 There is no such instance of sexual relations of any kind outside the context of marriage, which is moral in any way. 00:14:56.960 --> 00:15:00.320 It is the only place that that can take place. 00:15:01.600 --> 00:15:15.759 And so while so we see this this grand prohibition of sexual relations outside of marriage, sexual relations ought to be within the marriage. 00:15:17.039 --> 00:15:22.639 There ought so hear the word, it's a moral requirement. 00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:24.720 This is a moral ought. 00:15:25.279 --> 00:15:31.120 This is not uh sex within sex outside of marriage all is bad, right? 00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:35.679 But sex within marriage is necessary. 00:15:36.720 --> 00:15:37.919 It is necessary. 00:15:38.399 --> 00:15:46.159 And one of the reasons is so it is not it's not it is not as though Paul is just saying you you have the opportunity to have sex within marriage. 00:15:47.039 --> 00:15:48.320 That's not what he's saying. 00:15:48.720 --> 00:15:52.480 He says you ought to have sex within marriage. 00:15:52.799 --> 00:15:55.519 This is the requirement for the married. 00:15:57.519 --> 00:16:02.720 One of the reasons that he gives is because of the temptation to sexual immorality. 00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:07.120 Now, this is a controversial point. 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:10.480 This is not the only purpose of sex within marriage. 00:16:10.799 --> 00:16:13.519 There is the purpose of procreation. 00:16:13.600 --> 00:16:15.200 It's where humans come from. 00:16:15.440 --> 00:16:18.639 If you are a human, then you have benefited from this in some way. 00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:36.240 There's also the benefits of uh pleasure and enjoyment of one another, the development of friendship, the renewal of the it's like a uh a picture of a covenant renewal and of the covenant fidelity to one another. 00:16:36.480 --> 00:16:41.360 All of these purposes the scriptures expound, and Paul understands and agrees with all of them. 00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:59.440 But particularly for the church in Corinth, he wants to emphasize that there is a re that another aspect of a reason to have sex within marriage is it's a it combats the temptation to sexual immorality. 00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:03.120 That is a benefit of sex within marriage. 00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:04.559 It's not the only one. 00:17:05.039 --> 00:17:20.880 And of course, this is not saying that if one of the if one spouse is experiencing uh sexual immorality, that finally it falls on the other spouse for not uh giving them their rights enough. 00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:25.359 No, sin falls on the one who commits the sin. 00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:31.920 This is not an opportunity for scapegoating, but we would be fools to not acknowledge this reality. 00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:47.440 And to recognize that if you are withholding these conjugal rights, then you are creating an environment that cultivates temptation towards sexual immorality. 00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:51.680 So what type of environment do you want your marriage to be creating? 00:17:52.000 --> 00:18:09.599 Do you this is a particular remedy towards sexual immorality, not a total remedy, but it's a good, you know, multivitamin that the Lord is commending to you in your relationship. 00:18:09.920 --> 00:18:12.559 Well, would you would you not take it? 00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:22.000 Would you not pr would you not r receive the grace and these means of grace and blessing that the Lord has given to you in the context of marriage? 00:18:22.240 --> 00:18:27.519 And so he commends that each man should have his own wife, each woman her own husband. 00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:35.519 This is this is uh uh obviously there's one place where this can take place, the man with his wife, the woman with her husband. 00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:37.200 This is the only place that can take place. 00:18:37.279 --> 00:18:42.000 But within that marriage, within the marriage covenant, it ought to take place. 00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:44.319 I want you to hear that word. 00:18:44.480 --> 00:18:45.599 It ought. 00:18:47.039 --> 00:18:48.319 You ought to. 00:18:51.039 --> 00:18:54.960 So this is a necessary aspect of marriage. 00:18:55.200 --> 00:18:56.160 Now, why? 00:18:57.279 --> 00:19:02.000 Why ought this to happen between the man and his wife and the woman and her husband? 00:19:02.400 --> 00:19:10.480 In verse 4, he says, for the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. 00:19:10.960 --> 00:19:17.279 Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 00:19:19.599 --> 00:19:44.240 Now, this is a demonstration, or so sex within marriage, part of the grounding of the necessity of it, or the oughtness of it, the moral requirement of it, is this honoring of the mystery of marriage, which is that the two become one flesh. 00:19:45.759 --> 00:19:47.519 The two become one flesh. 00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:53.200 Now that doesn't, of course, like you don't actually become one flesh. 00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:57.359 Or maybe you actually do. 00:20:01.039 --> 00:20:09.039 But in order to honor that mystery, what there's a recognition of is this mutual authority over one another's bodies. 00:20:09.279 --> 00:20:23.759 Now, you you hear this text, and it you've been through this is the tenth week for many of you in this marriage series, and we've talked about the hierarchical nature of the structure of marriage, this position of function in marriage. 00:20:23.839 --> 00:20:25.440 We've talked about this a lot, haven't we? 00:20:25.599 --> 00:20:31.440 That the man is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, the the wife is called to submit to her husband. 00:20:31.599 --> 00:20:41.920 And so when we arrive at this, you might have expected to hear in 1 Corinthians 7 4 that it sounds something like this for the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. 00:20:44.640 --> 00:20:46.480 But that's not what you hear. 00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:48.640 Because the verse continues. 00:20:49.680 --> 00:20:56.400 Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 00:20:57.279 --> 00:21:07.359 Now, Paul is the one who just last week in Ephesians explained to us that hierarchical pattern of marriage and the asymmetry of the authority within marriage. 00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:16.160 But in this context, in the context of the sexual relations of marriage, there is a equality of authority. 00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:20.799 There is a plain mutuality of authority. 00:21:20.960 --> 00:21:30.079 And I think that that is because it is a demonstration, it is like the clearest manifestation of the one fleshness. 00:21:30.720 --> 00:21:35.839 It is a picture of the unity of marriage. 00:21:37.839 --> 00:21:44.000 And so that means it is not that one marriage partner has authority over the other's body. 00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:57.759 Without the other one also having authority over it is not as though the husband has authority over the wife's body, without the wife also having authority over the husband's body. 00:21:57.920 --> 00:21:59.599 There is a mutuality here. 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:06.960 Which in a sense, like to when you read the if you read a modern commentator, it's like obvious, of course. 00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:14.799 But if you read an old commentator, you know, to John Calvin, this section just like jumps off the page. 00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:27.920 He's like, this is like a shocking surprise, the mutuality that Paul is calling us to in the sexual context of the marital relationship. 00:22:29.039 --> 00:22:30.640 And we should recognize that. 00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:33.839 So what does that mean practically? 00:22:34.079 --> 00:22:39.599 You know, if uh this does not settle all negotiations. 00:22:40.559 --> 00:22:49.599 You know, this does not mean that uh any request is met with a concession. 00:22:51.119 --> 00:22:54.480 Because the authority, there's a mutuality here. 00:22:55.839 --> 00:23:20.000 But if you were to get the sense of the weight of this passage, if you were to if you were to to to weigh the proportion, because that's what we that's what we're discussing here, is a sense of proportion, then I think that it is plain that the sense of the proportion in this passage is more, not less. 00:23:22.160 --> 00:23:25.839 More sexual relations within the marriage, not less. 00:23:26.319 --> 00:23:29.200 More agreement, not less. 00:23:30.480 --> 00:23:36.640 This is plainly the pattern that this passage would demonstrate to us. 00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:41.279 Now, this cannot be absolutized because look, you're tied. 00:23:42.799 --> 00:23:47.200 You know, like, hey, I, you know, I the kids are down. 00:23:47.599 --> 00:23:52.240 I think we the tonight would be a good night, you know. 00:23:53.039 --> 00:23:56.160 Uh uh just it's been an exhausting week. 00:23:56.240 --> 00:23:58.799 I really am so tired, and we can tomorrow night. 00:23:58.960 --> 00:24:01.119 Have you guys heard of conversations like this? 00:24:03.200 --> 00:24:05.039 Read that these can happen. 00:24:06.400 --> 00:24:10.079 Well, I am the one with authority over your body. 00:24:10.480 --> 00:24:12.799 The scriptures plainly say so. 00:24:13.039 --> 00:24:18.000 Well, but and then you know, the other spouse can retort, same. 00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:21.119 Same. 00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:25.359 So this is not a this is it, this is not this is not settled in negotiation. 00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:34.400 It does not uh it it that's not if you if you think if you think marriage takes place in those terms anyway, then you're cooked. 00:24:34.480 --> 00:24:35.359 It's already over. 00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:38.720 We've got some we've got some more work to do. 00:24:39.599 --> 00:24:58.799 But you want to uh what what hopefully you're able to gain in this is a sense of the proportion and and of sharing this value together and of seeing and honoring together the benefits that the scripture teaches you with regards to it, so that it would not be neglected. 00:25:00.240 --> 00:25:11.440 And to recognize that if it is neglected, we are neglecting a mercy that the Lord has given to us and explained to us. 00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:15.519 And so we ought to weigh it like that together. 00:25:16.400 --> 00:25:33.279 Now in verse five, Paul continues, he says, Do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 00:25:34.559 --> 00:25:36.319 Do not deprive one another. 00:25:36.559 --> 00:25:41.920 And then the exception that he provides to this for when you might deprive one another is something like fasting. 00:25:42.160 --> 00:25:59.839 You would fast in a time of particular prayer or of uh facing a facing a difficulty when you would gather together, but you don't those parts of our of the Christian tradition which uh have said like the obviously sex is bad because it's dangerous in all these ways. 00:26:00.079 --> 00:26:03.839 It's like they hear this and they they hear, look, this is like a fast. 00:26:04.480 --> 00:26:12.319 And so if fasting for a time to pray is good, then we should fast forever to pray. 00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:14.960 We should we should live in a constant fast. 00:26:15.200 --> 00:26:17.839 But no, that's not that's not the way the scriptures teach us. 00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:25.119 If you lived in a constant fast, you would be you would be very hungry, and then you would be sleepy, and then you would take a very long nap. 00:26:28.319 --> 00:26:32.640 Now, if you lived in a this is this is not uh uh implying that. 00:26:32.720 --> 00:26:35.359 You know, the the scriptures are very humane. 00:26:38.720 --> 00:26:41.359 The scriptures understand your frame. 00:26:42.640 --> 00:26:58.400 The Lord has not uh the Lord has not is not seeking to bind you up, uh, but he calls you to particular times where you ought to lay this down for the sake of your prayers. 00:26:59.920 --> 00:27:06.000 And most times, just like fasting, where you ought not to. 00:27:08.160 --> 00:27:09.119 Now, why is that? 00:27:09.279 --> 00:27:15.279 He closes it again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:29.680 I think if you were to just assess the imagery of our culture, then you would conclude that Satan is the one that loves sex and God is the one that hates it. 00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:34.400 Satan is ambivalent to sex. 00:27:35.680 --> 00:27:39.279 He's I would say that Satan is neither for or against. 00:27:39.599 --> 00:27:43.440 When sex is outside of marriage, he loves it. 00:27:43.839 --> 00:27:55.359 When sex is a call toward sexual immorality or participation in sexual immorality, Satan loves it as a mechanism to steal, kill, and destroy. 00:27:55.920 --> 00:28:06.880 When sex is God honoring within marriage, Satan hates it because he sees the remedy that it is towards sexual immorality. 00:28:07.519 --> 00:28:18.160 Satan is not looking at marriages and saying, we we it would be better if their sexual relationship, you know, I he is not pulling for your sexual relationship within marriage. 00:28:20.079 --> 00:28:23.839 Many people discover this when they get married. 00:28:24.319 --> 00:28:30.240 And this thing which was thrilling and exciting and had this edge to it, all of a sudden seems doled over. 00:28:30.480 --> 00:28:32.960 But they realize they're playing a completely different sport. 00:28:34.240 --> 00:28:40.400 That the one was an act of rebellion, and their flesh enjoyed that. 00:28:40.559 --> 00:28:42.880 The other is an act of honoring the Lord. 00:28:43.119 --> 00:28:50.319 It is more patient, it is more plainly loving, but it is better. 00:28:50.799 --> 00:28:52.000 It's better. 00:28:52.559 --> 00:28:55.279 There's a deep, there's a depth to it. 00:28:56.240 --> 00:29:15.519 You know, our uh society, uh in the way that we seek to cultivate relationships, especially sexual relationships, it's like we we use these incredibly thin tethers to hold ourselves to one another. 00:29:16.240 --> 00:29:32.079 And uh a woman will seek to hold her boyfriend to herself by by this incredibly thin tether of the way that she dresses or the the uh uh the the way that she gives herself to him. 00:29:32.559 --> 00:29:36.480 And it feels like a like a position of strength, but it is not. 00:29:37.599 --> 00:29:40.000 It is a very weak tether. 00:29:41.599 --> 00:29:43.279 A very weak tether. 00:29:43.519 --> 00:29:53.039 But the scripture calls us towards a sexual relationship which is bound in this covenant, which looks to our culture like what's even holding it together. 00:29:53.200 --> 00:30:00.319 Are they even, you know, they're not experiencing what we're experiencing. 00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:07.119 It looks to our culture like a like a weak tether, but it is incredibly deep. 00:30:07.759 --> 00:30:09.359 Incredibly strong. 00:30:10.240 --> 00:30:11.839 Incredibly strong. 00:30:14.880 --> 00:30:23.680 So this is our instruction from Paul on sex within marriage. 00:30:26.799 --> 00:30:28.720 It is a contextual thing. 00:30:29.519 --> 00:30:33.680 Outside of marriage, abstinence is plainly good. 00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:36.559 It is plainly good. 00:30:37.599 --> 00:30:47.200 Within marriage, abstinence is wrong, except for particular seasons where you are mutually committed to seeking the Lord. 00:30:47.359 --> 00:30:55.200 You it's like Paul saying, you're gonna need that type of defense for those particular seasons, lest Satan come in and tempt you. 00:30:55.920 --> 00:30:58.160 So he has told us the shape of the battle. 00:30:58.400 --> 00:30:59.839 Let's believe him. 00:31:01.119 --> 00:31:03.759 Secondly, singleness. 00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:05.279 So Paul continues on. 00:31:05.359 --> 00:31:11.839 He says in 1 Corinthians 7, verses 6 through 9, he says, Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:20.559 I wish that all were as I myself am, but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:27.279 To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. 00:31:28.720 --> 00:31:34.160 Now Paul's addressing the unmarried, the widows, those who are single, like him. 00:31:35.759 --> 00:31:37.599 He can speak plainly to this. 00:31:37.680 --> 00:31:39.359 And do you know what he says about singleness? 00:31:39.519 --> 00:31:42.880 He commends it as a good thing in this passage. 00:31:43.039 --> 00:31:57.119 In fact, the Corinthians are facing such difficult trials at this particular moment, such severe impression because of the present circumstances, that he recommends that those who are about to be married don't get married right now. 00:31:58.480 --> 00:32:02.960 Because when you're married, your anxieties are set on the things of the world. 00:32:03.119 --> 00:32:14.319 And when you're unmarried, you're able to remove your anxieties in a particular way from those things in the world, and you're able to set them just on the spiritual things that the Lord is calling you to. 00:32:14.640 --> 00:32:22.480 Paul explains this and commends the station of singleness to the church in Corinth. 00:32:22.799 --> 00:32:31.359 And he recommends this because he himself knows and is and is participating within this state of singleness. 00:32:32.720 --> 00:32:45.440 But when we uh when we hear things commended in scripture, our minds are we're always trying to absolutize everything for everyone all the time. 00:32:45.599 --> 00:32:55.200 It's probably because of because of Kant, he thought that's the way morality should work, and we're downstream of that, and so now we all think that's the way morality should work. 00:32:55.279 --> 00:33:05.519 So if something, if I'm going to do anything, or if I'm going to say anything is good, then I must say that it is universally good for all people in all times and all places. 00:33:05.680 --> 00:33:13.440 And if it's not universally good for all people in all times and all places, then I shouldn't say that it is good, but that is not the way that the scriptures speak. 00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:19.440 Because the scriptures describe singleness as it is a it is conditionally good. 00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:26.880 Under certain conditions, it is good to be single. 00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:41.279 To Paul, he understands that the condition within which it is good to be single is if you have a particular gift from God toward singleness. 00:33:41.759 --> 00:33:46.000 And Paul understands that he himself is gifted in this way. 00:33:47.039 --> 00:34:07.440 That he is gifted toward singleness in this way, that the Lord has equipped him and given him, aligned his circumstances such that when he is remaining single and he's not seeking a spouse, he is doing so in not a negligent way, but in a completely God-honoring way. 00:34:07.759 --> 00:34:10.880 This condition does truly exist. 00:34:13.599 --> 00:34:18.000 And so we should not then think that we should absolutize this condition. 00:34:18.079 --> 00:34:22.400 Well, if it's good for Paul, well, that means it's good for me. 00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:27.840 Or if it's good for Peter to be married, then everyone ought to be. 00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:32.880 No, Christians, we can be more mature than this. 00:34:33.840 --> 00:34:44.320 Because we can understand that the Lord has given different gifts to different people, and that the way that they are able to operate within those gifts is no threat to us. 00:34:45.039 --> 00:34:51.199 It is no threat to you to see somebody else operating in the goodness of their gifting. 00:34:52.159 --> 00:34:58.000 Now, for those of you who are single, you're thinking, okay, maybe. 00:34:59.119 --> 00:35:03.280 Or you're thinking, I don't think I have that gift. 00:35:04.079 --> 00:35:13.920 Well, how could you know if you have this gift of singleness that Paul describes, this gift of chastity? 00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:19.599 Well, Calvin was particularly helpful in this section. 00:35:19.920 --> 00:35:39.119 And what he explains is that there are certain there are, of course, people that have a certain gift of chastity, but we should not think that the people with this gift of chastity are uh completely asexual people, as though they are ones that have no temptation toward sexual immorality in their lives. 00:35:40.800 --> 00:35:44.800 There are no such people, Calvin says, or we should not assume that there are any such people. 00:35:47.679 --> 00:35:59.840 Because those who are uh gifted with this gift of singleness, they uh they are not some superhuman superheroes, different from the rest of us. 00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:08.239 They're like us, with a particular gifting by the Spirit from the Lord, which may be temporary. 00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:14.400 Calvin describes it like this. 00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:21.360 He says, For we do not burn, though we should feel a disagreeable heat. 00:36:22.639 --> 00:36:35.119 Not that there is nothing wrong in feeling of heat, but acknowledging before the Lord with humility and sighing our weakness, we are meanwhile nevertheless of good courage. 00:36:36.559 --> 00:36:44.400 This is the way that he describes the gift of singleness that Paul has here, this gift of chastity. 00:36:44.639 --> 00:36:49.599 It is not as though they do not feel heat, the heat of temptation he's describing. 00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:54.639 He's riffing on the next verse, which we haven't gotten to yet, but sometimes that happens. 00:36:55.280 --> 00:37:15.440 He is saying that, of course, just like there is sexual temptation within marriage, even though those have this remedy of having a spouse with whom to have sex with, so those who are given the gift of chastity, of course, they experience a feeling of heat. 00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:21.119 And he is not saying that there is no sin, there is nothing wrong in that desire that they are experiencing. 00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:24.960 There is, there is, the desire for sinful things is wrong. 00:37:26.559 --> 00:37:40.960 But saying that they are able to acknowledge it before the Lord with humility and sighing, acknowledge our weakness, and are meanwhile, nevertheless, of good courage. 00:37:41.599 --> 00:37:56.960 You see, you you need to learn how the scriptures teach you to understand the sensibility, the humaneness with which the scriptures understand your state. 00:37:58.239 --> 00:38:09.760 You know, the the scriptures call us to think about ourselves and assess ourselves with the reality of the temptations that we know we will experience in this life. 00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:29.039 And to not hold yourself to this angelic standard, but with sighing, acknowledgement of your weakness, to come to the Lord and entrust yourself to him so that you may, even amidst the present struggles and temptations that you face, take good courage. 00:38:29.360 --> 00:38:32.239 That's what the God-honoring path looks like. 00:38:33.280 --> 00:38:36.159 And that's what the gift of singleness looks like. 00:38:36.480 --> 00:38:43.360 But he has this recommendation in verse 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. 00:38:43.519 --> 00:38:46.400 For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 00:38:48.000 --> 00:38:50.960 So this takes self-awareness. 00:38:52.079 --> 00:39:03.119 This takes a recognition that the Spirit has given me this particular gift in this particular way for this particular time and this season, and I receive it with gratitude. 00:39:04.639 --> 00:39:12.239 I seek the benefits of it when I find if you are single, you ought to seek the benefits of this gift. 00:39:15.199 --> 00:39:21.920 But recognize if you cannot exercise self-control, there is a remedy available. 00:39:22.159 --> 00:39:23.760 You should get married. 00:39:25.119 --> 00:39:26.559 You should get married for that. 00:39:26.719 --> 00:39:30.559 Because it's better to marry than to burn with passion. 00:39:30.880 --> 00:39:37.599 And burn with passion, in like when when in our context, we hear burn with passion, and it's like that's good. 00:39:39.119 --> 00:39:42.320 But what you should hear is this is very bad. 00:39:43.119 --> 00:39:52.719 It is very bad to be uh to have your self-control completely neutered by your own passions. 00:39:54.159 --> 00:40:00.239 To be taken for a ride by whatever it is that you see you cannot help uh but seek to grasp for yourself. 00:40:00.320 --> 00:40:02.639 This is not a good state to be living in. 00:40:02.719 --> 00:40:08.159 This is a state of a downward spiral of self-destruction, being controlled by your passions. 00:40:08.400 --> 00:40:22.159 And so Paul is saying, of course, it marriage, which is good, is better than being in a downward spiral of self-destruction because you're burning with your passions. 00:40:23.599 --> 00:40:30.320 Now, this is like uh I hear this all the time. 00:40:30.400 --> 00:40:36.239 Like you pastors always just say, just get married. 00:40:37.039 --> 00:40:40.480 Like you can just like go to the married store. 00:40:44.239 --> 00:40:59.039 And uh I I understand, you know, there there's um I ran into a friend from college at a coffee shop on Tennyson uh on uh Thursday. 00:40:59.440 --> 00:41:09.039 And she was with her husband, they had just gotten married, um, and uh I was like, oh, congratulations, you know, like what's the story? 00:41:09.199 --> 00:41:14.719 And they're like, well, you know, we dated, we were in the dating scene for 10 years in Denver. 00:41:15.360 --> 00:41:20.639 And uh they were like, Did you uh you got married right out of school, you didn't have to do any of that, right? 00:41:20.719 --> 00:41:23.039 And I was like, No, I didn't I didn't do any of that. 00:41:23.199 --> 00:41:25.519 And they were like, it's a catastrophe. 00:41:26.159 --> 00:41:28.960 It's a the it is a dating apocalypse. 00:41:29.039 --> 00:41:42.480 It's it's a nightmare out there, and both of us were had given up on it, and it was both of our last, if we if this date didn't work out, this was gonna be our last date ever, and we're gonna delete all the apps. 00:41:42.800 --> 00:41:46.079 And uh, but it would they it worked out and they got married. 00:41:48.480 --> 00:41:57.840 The the point of that story is just to say, I understand you cannot just go to the to the marriage store and buy uh be a spouse. 00:42:07.519 --> 00:42:27.920 However, however, there if if you recognize within yourself that this is I I'm burning with passion in this way, I you ought to seek in the ways that you can to remedy it. 00:42:29.360 --> 00:42:35.199 And this also means a couple of things, several things we'll have to we'll have to put by the wayside. 00:42:35.840 --> 00:42:44.320 One is I you you can't you won't marry a perfect person. 00:42:45.360 --> 00:42:49.119 You're gonna marry somebody who's not perfect. 00:42:49.519 --> 00:42:51.519 At least not perfect. 00:42:53.119 --> 00:42:59.679 Uh do not, do not marry a non-Christian. 00:43:00.320 --> 00:43:02.239 Do not marry a non-Christian. 00:43:02.480 --> 00:43:09.119 Don't date a non-Christian, don't flirt with a non-Christian, do not marry a non-Christian. 00:43:09.280 --> 00:43:11.599 Your life will be far worse. 00:43:12.400 --> 00:43:13.599 Far worse. 00:43:15.119 --> 00:43:20.320 And it we are commanded to not be unequally yoked. 00:43:21.519 --> 00:43:26.159 And so you you you have to hold this together, these things. 00:43:26.320 --> 00:43:31.039 This is this is why it takes wisdom to try and actually do this in your life. 00:43:31.679 --> 00:43:44.000 Because you're saying you would recognize in yourself as a single person, I'm I I'm in this place where I'm burning with passion, and I should be seeking this remedy of getting a spouse. 00:43:44.559 --> 00:43:51.360 It wouldn't it be great if it were just anyone and you had the whole field open to you? 00:43:51.519 --> 00:43:55.360 But instead, the scriptures say, no, it must be a Christian. 00:43:57.280 --> 00:43:59.760 And so this means that you may you may find yourself. 00:44:00.400 --> 00:44:04.400 In circumstances where you are having to wait a long time. 00:44:07.119 --> 00:44:17.440 And you'd think, well, does this mean that the Lord has actually cornered me and placed me in a position where I am under a temptation that I cannot overcome? 00:44:18.320 --> 00:44:22.159 And he will not provide the remedy with me. 00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:29.440 Is he just torturing me in a place where he requires something of me that he knows that I could never possibly attain? 00:44:29.679 --> 00:44:36.239 But that is not the way that I'll just say it like this that's not what God is like. 00:44:36.880 --> 00:44:38.800 That's not what he's like. 00:44:49.840 --> 00:44:57.039 Instead, Paul says in this same book, just a couple of chapters later, no temptation has overtaken you. 00:44:57.199 --> 00:44:59.119 That is not common to man. 00:44:59.920 --> 00:45:02.159 God is faithful. 00:45:03.519 --> 00:45:05.599 God is faithful. 00:45:05.760 --> 00:45:07.280 He's faithful to you. 00:45:10.079 --> 00:45:14.159 And he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability. 00:45:15.440 --> 00:45:23.039 He's in control of the arena of which he requires obedience that you're participating in. 00:45:23.199 --> 00:45:24.159 Today's theme is arena. 00:45:24.239 --> 00:45:25.760 I think I've said it like ten times. 00:45:27.360 --> 00:45:31.039 He's in control of that, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability. 00:45:31.119 --> 00:45:37.599 But with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it. 00:45:38.159 --> 00:45:40.159 You will be able to endure it. 00:45:40.320 --> 00:45:42.559 You can trust the Lord for that. 00:45:42.800 --> 00:45:46.400 What he requires of you, he freely gives to you. 00:45:46.639 --> 00:45:55.599 That does not mean that you will not feel heat, but it means that feeling heat is not the same as burning. 00:45:57.199 --> 00:45:59.519