In the Lobby Podcast

Mike Johnson on Navigating Reality TV, Mental Health, and Sexology Post-'The Bachelorette'

February 15, 2024 Cassandra Jean & Roger Braxton Season 1 Episode 3
Mike Johnson on Navigating Reality TV, Mental Health, and Sexology Post-'The Bachelorette'
In the Lobby Podcast
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In the Lobby Podcast
Mike Johnson on Navigating Reality TV, Mental Health, and Sexology Post-'The Bachelorette'
Feb 15, 2024 Season 1 Episode 3
Cassandra Jean & Roger Braxton

Navigating the ever-evolving landscape of love and fame is no small feat, yet our guest Mike Johnson does so with remarkable insight and vulnerability. From the military to the heart-fluttering highs and lows of reality TV, Mike’s tale is a mosaic of transformative experiences. Settle in as we explore his fascinating transition, the powerful influence of location on one's love life, and the enduring impact of Austin, Texas, on his heart. Mike's candid stories reveal the complex interplay between personal growth and cultural adaptation, offering a rich perspective on the nuances of modern romance and self-discovery.

As the spotlight's glare fades, maintaining an authentic self can be as challenging as it is crucial, and Mike opens up about his journey post-'The Bachelorette'. Delving into the importance of staying true to oneself and sound financial planning, Mike's anecdotes serve as a testament to life beyond the camera, complete with the practicalities of business ventures and investment strategies for those charting a course outside of conventional employment paths.

Our conversation takes a passionate turn as we tread through the realms of intimacy, sexology, and the foundations of fulfilling relationships. Mike, as a sexologist, imparts wisdom on nurturing connections that extend beyond the physical, underscoring the significance of emotional health in the tapestry of love and sex. We dissect the often misinterpreted concepts of conditional love, gender roles, and women's autonomy, engaging in a discourse that challenges societal norms and invites a reimagining of partnership dynamics. Join us for an episode that doesn't just entertain but promises to enrich your understanding of the delicate balance between our personal and professional lives.

You can follow In the Lobby Podcast: @inthelobbypod 

You can follow Mike Johnson:
@mike_johnson
Subscribe to Mike's Newsletter

Single? Meet us at the thursdayº Event.


Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the Show.

You can follow In the Lobby Podcast: @inthelobbypod
You can follow Cassandra Jean:
@paininmycass_
You can follow Roger Braxton:
@arrogee


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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Navigating the ever-evolving landscape of love and fame is no small feat, yet our guest Mike Johnson does so with remarkable insight and vulnerability. From the military to the heart-fluttering highs and lows of reality TV, Mike’s tale is a mosaic of transformative experiences. Settle in as we explore his fascinating transition, the powerful influence of location on one's love life, and the enduring impact of Austin, Texas, on his heart. Mike's candid stories reveal the complex interplay between personal growth and cultural adaptation, offering a rich perspective on the nuances of modern romance and self-discovery.

As the spotlight's glare fades, maintaining an authentic self can be as challenging as it is crucial, and Mike opens up about his journey post-'The Bachelorette'. Delving into the importance of staying true to oneself and sound financial planning, Mike's anecdotes serve as a testament to life beyond the camera, complete with the practicalities of business ventures and investment strategies for those charting a course outside of conventional employment paths.

Our conversation takes a passionate turn as we tread through the realms of intimacy, sexology, and the foundations of fulfilling relationships. Mike, as a sexologist, imparts wisdom on nurturing connections that extend beyond the physical, underscoring the significance of emotional health in the tapestry of love and sex. We dissect the often misinterpreted concepts of conditional love, gender roles, and women's autonomy, engaging in a discourse that challenges societal norms and invites a reimagining of partnership dynamics. Join us for an episode that doesn't just entertain but promises to enrich your understanding of the delicate balance between our personal and professional lives.

You can follow In the Lobby Podcast: @inthelobbypod 

You can follow Mike Johnson:
@mike_johnson
Subscribe to Mike's Newsletter

Single? Meet us at the thursdayº Event.


Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the Show.

You can follow In the Lobby Podcast: @inthelobbypod
You can follow Cassandra Jean:
@paininmycass_
You can follow Roger Braxton:
@arrogee


Cassandra Jean:

Hey guys, welcome to In the Lobby podcast. Today in our lobby we have Mike Johnson. We're so grateful to have you here. I know that you have a friendship with Roger, my co-host over here, so I'm gonna let him introduce you.

Roger Braxton:

Honestly, we're happy to have you, mike. You know, I think the biggest thing is you're not only a good friend, but you're a walking brand and you find a perfect way to blend the two together. You're an investor, you're a businessman, but reality TV's favorite face and Bachelor of Nations worst mistake for not giving you your own season. So, Mike, we're happy to have you here, man. Thank you for the time.

Mike Johnson:

I appreciate that intro. That was dope. No one's ever said it like that. I'm definitely happy to be here and I'm grateful to be here to be sitting with the two of you and to be in your space, so thank you.

Cassandra Jean:

Yeah, we really wanna keep our podcast like Austin based and so, like I know that you're a veteran, you're a sexologist, you know you're.

Roger Braxton:

We're gonna get into that.

Cassandra Jean:

We're gonna get into all these things and we wanted to talk to you and get to know your story at like a deeper level. And I was just thinking, because we're keeping the podcast Austin based a little bit and just kind of trying to bring the Austin community together I wanted to know, like, how did you end up here? Were you born in Austin? Like, what brought you here?

Mike Johnson:

Yeah, thank you, good question. First off, I fucks with Austin.

Roger Braxton:

Like where else did you live too?

Mike Johnson:

I mean I've lived around the world. Like I've lived around the world. I've been in like 55 countries. I just, my girl and I just was living in Costa Rica. It's past summer, summer before I was living in Columbia. That's why I couldn't find you. Yeah, I mean I'll be, I'm around the world somewhere, but I was living in San Antonio actually prior to moving to Austin. I was there for like six, seven years and, yeah, cause the military? No, I had, I was living in London prior to moving to San Antonio. I was in the military over there, but then I moved to San Antonio as a civilian, okay, and I was working on bass though, okay, and I was 25 working on bass. And I have a personal thing I'm like if you live somewhere for seven years, that's your home now, right? Yeah, that's just how I personally feel You're past the half decade.

Roger Braxton:

Yeah, like you're like this is your new home, right.

Mike Johnson:

Yeah, and I was like bro, I'm never gonna find a wife here, like no offense to Sanitonians, sure, it just was too slow for me. I mean, I was coming from London and I moved to San Antonio. If y'all been in San Antonio as a single individual, it's not like that spot.

Roger Braxton:

I think it's great to like raise a family.

Mike Johnson:

That's what is the spot for that.

Roger Braxton:

Yeah, but I could only imagine the dating experiences for you, or even just being there as a single individual, like were you bored every day, I mean when I let's be honest though there's still stuff to do, man, I forgot about this.

Mike Johnson:

When I actually moved to San Antonio, I was in a relationship.

Roger Braxton:

Okay.

Mike Johnson:

Yeah, she's an English woman and she moved to America with me.

Roger Braxton:

Love.

Mike Johnson:

And then. So we were together for some time and then we got a. I said we broke up. Sure, you see how serious I take relationships. Like I said it, like I was about to say divorce, right, we got to know we didn't get that we never been married right, it sounded like a healed man over there.

Mike Johnson:

Oh for sure You're right and so. But we were together, but then after that it was just bro. San Antonio nightlife is not the move, but when it comes to like saving money and it comes to having a wife and or a husband and kids, it's the spot for sure. I love that. I love that.

Cassandra Jean:

And I love San Antonio is like a tourist trap, like I don't know. I just think of the river walk and it's like a little bit trashy or I don't know like.

Mike Johnson:

It's definitely a tourist spot, for sure. I mean, I love Selena.

Cassandra Jean:

Yeah, oh, I love Selena.

Mike Johnson:

Selena loves, you know, and so therefore you can go to the river walk and go to the bridge that she was on in the movie and I love that, and then you can go to SeaWorld. It's definitely a tourist spot as well. Six flags, all of it it's touristy for sure.

Roger Braxton:

So then, I guess that brings me to my question Was it the boredom of San Antonio that sparked you to apply to be on the Bachelorette, or yeah, nah?

Mike Johnson:

So I'm gonna be super transparent. I promise you all that I will do this entire time. Yeah, thank you. After getting out of a relationship, I'm a little heartbroken, you know. Sure they say that men and women are different when they get their heartbroken and I have never lived in another body, I just know. For me it was terrible. Yeah, and how long did you all?

Mike Johnson:

date Only for like I don't know, 18, 24 months, okay, and so like not long at all, and but I was my first love Sure, and so it really hit deep. I am someone who I try to be pretty good in a relationship.

Roger Braxton:

Yeah.

Mike Johnson:

Not perfect, not at all.

Roger Braxton:

No, we're not perfect.

Mike Johnson:

Got a lot of things to do, but in terms of growing. But after we broke up I the first phase was, you know, hurt all that stuff. But like when I got back, good, I was in the streets, heavy, heavy right and then Poor women of San Antonio. I was in the streets and then. But then I remember I got out of the streets and I was like man, I want to be in a relationship, right, sure, and I wish my homie was here. You met a Mark.

Mike Johnson:

he lives in Seattle oh yeah, and he's actually the one that put him me on. He I threw my phone one day at work, right. He was like what the hell wrong with you? And I was like, bro, all these girls always want to do is fuck. And he bust out laughing. He was like what guy says that? Like, when there's no girls? Like why would you say that? Like, what? Like, why would you say that? And I was like, is it real? Like I'm like, I want a relationship, I want to wife him kids.

Roger Braxton:

And he was just laughing his ass off and me genuinely knowing, mark, I know he probably asked you in the question. Yeah, you know, mark, with like a sincere level of like, no, like, what do you mean?

Mike Johnson:

Yeah, like, yeah, mark, like why would you say that? But I was being very serious, like extremely serious, and after him just dying for like 45 minutes, like you're weird, like why would you say that? Cause he's like you're a guy that can gig her, why would you?

Cassandra Jean:

why? How old were you at the time?

Mike Johnson:

20, at that time I was like 29. Okay, yeah, I think I was like 29, 30, probably 30. And I'm old. Yeah, I was like, I was like 30 at the time. And so a few weeks later, he hit me a Facebook message which is funny, cause I don't even like be on Facebook like that, no more. Sure, but he sent me a Facebook message and it was a casting call for the Bachelorette, and well back to Mark man.

Mike Johnson:

No sure Mark is the homie for show for show and a lot of things and a lot of things on, you know, on business, off business. But he sent me a casting call for the Bachelorette and the, funny enough, in my apartment complex, my next door neighbor, she thought I was an escort for one. She thought I was an escort now because like it was people in and out, but because I wore a suit, I had like the dopest apartment in that complex and I always came home like I was 11 or midnight, cause I worked my butt off.

Mike Johnson:

I was a wealth management advisor, for sure. And so I'm like that's what you thought. Your brother can't be a doctor or something. Like you thought I was an escort, like I guess that's a compliment. She really thought that too. But there was another young lady in the complex who had bachelor watch parties and I had never in my life heard of the bachelor or watched the bachelor at that time. I went over one day, watched a single episode. She's like you gonna be the bachelor one day. I'm like yeah, whatever. Okay.

Mike Johnson:

I'm like I'm thinking to my own black. I got tats, now I got braids. I'm like I'm a very authentically me. That show doesn't seem like they would appreciate my individuality and so I brushed that off. And then, yeah, mark, he sent me the casting call and I was off work that day. Wow. And so I was like I ain't got nothing else to do, and so I drove up to Houston. It was at the aquarium in Houston and I wore a suit, cause I didn't know what to do. Sure, what do I wear Like?

Cassandra Jean:

hand-dressed casting. Yeah, I know the wear.

Mike Johnson:

I mean, I'm a wealth management advisor, so we wear suits every day at the office, and so I went up there in a suit and it was like maybe a hundred guys total and like 900 girls.

Roger Braxton:

Wow.

Mike Johnson:

And I knew it was gonna be a blessed day because I'm a veteran, I'm a VA disabled veteran and I can park a handicap and the aquarium was like stupid fool. So I parked in the handicapped spot but a dude in a van, an older gentleman, pulled up and I saw a gentleman next to him in the patrician seat. He said, hey, is this handicapped spot taken? He asked me while I'm in the handicapped spot and I was like, nah, you got it, and so I moved, let him take it. As I'm walking back up after I parked I see the dude in the patrician seat was in a wheelchair. So I was like it made me feel good, like yo, that's the right thing to do, right.

Roger Braxton:

Yeah.

Cassandra Jean:

He was auditioning for the show.

Mike Johnson:

Oh wow, you know, it made me feel good too and it made him chopping it up. And at the casting call I was so just myself. I had a book with me how to Win Friends and Influence People. I was just so 100, like answering questions Like I would if it was just the two of you, yeah.

Mike Johnson:

And the Houston news came and they actually interviewed me and people thought I was the bachelor. Like it was moms and dads sending me their daughters Like crazy. I'm like hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, don't do that. You know it was wild. You get this cast in first. Yeah, I know, right, it was so wild. I'll never forget it. Like bro, who said I was the bachelor, yeah, and that was the very first one, but it's like a total of like I want to do like seven, eight different types of interviews, sure, and I say different types because not all of them were an interviewer asking the interview. We questioned some of them. Like hey, bro, he's coming to room and kicking, yeah. And like you don't know that you're being interviewed, but it's just, people are talking to you, you don't know who they are, you think you're waiting for somebody to come in, but alone they're actually interviewing and actually they're the one interviewing you right.

Mike Johnson:

No, it's really smart. It's actually a technique. I'm a steal. The coolest one. I'll skip over the rest. The coolest interview idea for that process was I ain't going to say his name, but one of the homies. He's a producer for the show. I want to say his name when I say his name Because he's cool. He listens to all of us and he's like all right, we do the little five-minute interview. He's like are you ready for the next room?

Mike Johnson:

I'm like yeah what's up and I go into another room and it's like 40, 45 people in the room, one chair at the front, 45, like interrogating you almost.

Roger Braxton:

Like.

Cassandra Jean:

OK, got it.

Mike Johnson:

And.

Roger Braxton:

I'm painting the picture clearly for myself, thank you.

Mike Johnson:

And so, and then there's a chair at the front. So he's like hey, sit in this chair. I go up, sit in the chair, and I'm nervous, not going to lie, it's like 40, 45 people staring at me that you don't know. Yeah, I ain't never seen none of them people before, and somebody says something to me and I forget what everybody said. I remember who he is. He's actually high up in the bachelor world. I ain't going to say his name at all and I cracked a joke about him. I just started talking noise. That's just what my natural default is, I guess. And so I'm like why you got the Abercrombie and Fitch shirt on right and then we just go. We'd banter a little bit back and forth and it was beautiful, it was all of that.

Roger Braxton:

Well, I guess I dig into some of that. To then also kind of ask you, cass as well have you come across a lot of the other bachelorette contestants or any of the folks on the show in Austin?

Cassandra Jean:

Yeah, it's weird. I've run into a few of them in Austin. I mean, I don't really associate with any of them, but it seems like there is a good amount of bachelorette and bachelor contestants that have landed in Austin, so but I mean it's like did you all the people that I guess are here in Austin?

Roger Braxton:

did you all cast at the same time?

Mike Johnson:

No, my old roommate Connor. He actually goes to Shout Out Collective. He probably will hate that I said.

Cassandra Jean:

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Mike Johnson:

I'm sorry. So yeah, connor and I we were on the same season. We actually were roommates on the show and roommates in real life. He was the youngest, I was the oldest, and so, and he was the tallest, I was the second tallest, and so we became Gohomi's in that time period of life. And yeah, so we were on the same season. But the other guys, like Daniel, zach, katie and some of the other individuals that I've now since gone, now they were different seasons, got it.

Cassandra Jean:

Got it. What was like the process, your mindset, like going into being on the show, because I heard this clip from you when I was listening to some of your content and I think you were talking about the one thing you wish you would have done, or any of the guys should do, is put on 15 pounds of muscle and treat the women like how they would treat their mom. And I listened to that and I was like can't every guy just do this?

Roger Braxton:

I feel like you're reading our text. When I was trying to get on the show.

Mike Johnson:

Now I specifically told that to Matt James. He's the first Black-Ever Bachelor. He's an amazing guy Because, matt, if y'all follow him, he likes to run a lot Marathon guy and I'm like, bro, you've got to be the Bachelor, homie. I talk to people like I'm not a yes man. I'm going to tell you the truth, like if you want to go on America Idol and you can't sing, I'm like you know that you might want to go on Tough Mudder or something. You might want to go on something else. And so for Matt, matt is an amazingly good looking guy. I'm like, bro, you can put on 15 pounds. Tell me, the camera would like it, right?

Cassandra Jean:

And he did.

Mike Johnson:

And him and his beautiful girlfriend Rachel are doing amazing. That's awesome. And where are they based out of now? Based out of everywhere? Based out of the airport?

Cassandra Jean:

That's where they based out. That's great. New York, new York, I mean. That's pretty cool though, because he's like physically showing up as the best version of himself. It's like mentally affects you too. So going into his season, he probably felt really confident and ready to find his person. So I love that, for sure.

Roger Braxton:

Remember, we're in the lobby, so it's like we want to make sure we get to uncover those things that you don't really get to see from an Instagram post or an interview or any other show you've been on. Let's just make sure we have clarity. Where the hell were you born, man? Great question, great question. It's like all y'all live this traveling life, but where does it start? Where does the Mike Johnson story start?

Mike Johnson:

Yeah, on the side of a road in Colleen Texas.

Roger Braxton:

OK.

Mike Johnson:

OK, yeah, so I was born in Colleen. Ok, I'm a military brat. I went to a bunch of elementary schools, lived as a child. Mom or dad was military, my father was OK and my sister's father was military, and then we got a bunch of military in the family and so I grew up learning a little bit of German, lived in Germany for a while, like 10, 12 different American states for some time, and so I think I just got the travel bug at an early age, and so now it's just what I do.

Mike Johnson:

I'm probably going to definitely have at least a movie by Coastal or by Coastal or by Hemisphere at some point in time.

Roger Braxton:

Ok, and it kind of transitions to where we want to kind of take some of the questions as well, to where it's like this is version of career and life Right. Like you may sound like either one of the lucky ones or one of those maybe niche individuals on the show where you already had the travel bug and some people may get used to that as they get that fame. How did you transition to having your personal life being a wealth advisor, getting on the show, getting all this fame at a rapid pace, but then having to come back home and when you come back home, you got to transition back to the regular, regular life that you had, but now with all this fame backing you at the same time.

Mike Johnson:

Bro, that's difficult for a lot of people. I mean, that's like a truly a mental health battle for a lot of people Because, like one moment, matter of fact, one of the homies he's an alumni, I ain't gonna say his name. Sure, he said he was a football player and he was like, when I lost that, sure, y'all could have a little process of elimination, for God's sake. I won't say nothing else because he's a lot of football players, but I won't say nothing else. But one thing he said to me was kind of dope. He said it a few weeks ago.

Mike Johnson:

He said when I lost that football fame, it like I was nobody again. And then he said I'm starting to lose my bachelor fame, I'm nobody again. I was like, damn bro, you got to find you, like be you at all times. Yeah, and so for me, I was 31 years old when I went on the show. I was definitely, like I said, the older, I was one of the oldest guys there, second oldest, but the first oldest. He left quite early and so I became an oldest for like the majority of the time and for the world, how old are you now? I'm 36 now.

Cassandra Jean:

OK, you're not supposed to ask that question, roger you know it cast.

Mike Johnson:

Tell his ass, tell his ass, damn, why should Google a wall? It's unfortunately Google a wall, but now, it's definitely different coming out of the show. But to be succinct and lucid to your question though, I haven't had the three letter word J-O-B-I-E, d-i-e since 2019. Wow, and people can be like it's because of TV and I'd be like bro. Really think about it. 90% of people that go on reality TV they still working.

Roger Braxton:

Yeah, like over 90%.

Mike Johnson:

Yeah, it's an expiration date. For sure you get caught 15 minutes to find it for a reason, but for me I was blessed enough to, like I said, be a financial advisor prior, stack in money and just be intelligent with my dollars that I have. And now I'm a small business owner and investor. Ok.

Cassandra Jean:

That's really cool and that kind of makes me think about the misconceptions of you being on the show and then coming out of that. I was talking to Roger last week about misconceptions about me and I probably sounded like a whiny little blonde, but it's true, like I feel like people, no matter what whether you're on a reality TV show or you're the girl next door people are going to have misconceptions about you. So I'm just wondering how those affected you and what the things you were hearing from people?

Roger Braxton:

Yeah, and would they get back to you? Or is this something you'd find out so much later?

Mike Johnson:

No, I think this leads to another thing as well, like what I learned about myself, and so everything you hear everything under the sun. I mean, somebody called me a gorilla and I'm trying to be racist. I'm like, OK, I have a gorilla tattoo.

Roger Braxton:

So I'm glad you know that Represent.

Cassandra Jean:

I'm like OK represent.

Mike Johnson:

I'm glad you realize it. Like a gorilla's a threat, yeah, and so I mean just everything being called an inward hard-art. I'm sorry for that experience. I mean just death threats, everything that you could possibly think of as negative. I definitely received, especially because I'm more one of the outspoken individuals. For sure. I believe that during moments in life not even necessarily during moments in life when something is affecting you and your people and your culture and what you stand for whether it's water that you care about or dogs that you care about and you don't stand there for that, that means silence is acceptance. And so I am someone that definitely is outspoken and speaks my mind, and I definitely lost a lot of things because of it. But I gained so much more, and what I gained was not only shedding the fat, ie the audience, but gaining community. More so, but even more so than that, I gained respect for myself to stand up on my beliefs, and I became more educated so I could back up my beliefs, sure.

Roger Braxton:

I mean, I guess you say it in a very well-spoken manner, so like one, I appreciate that. I think I could definitely align with versions of that as well. But I think I have a great friendship amongst Cassandra and I, where I think mental health is a big concern, of just things that we constantly want to just bounce off of each other. Do you think that's ever been something that you needed to pay more attention to? Absolutely, and is that something that kind of showed up throughout being on the boush-eret?

Mike Johnson:

For when I say absolutely 100%, that's my entire in-moment of life. I think that for the rest of my days that I'm breathing, mental health is a part of my conversation period and we'll get more into it as the podcast goes on.

Roger Braxton:

I mean, we were the only guys reading at the pool. Facts, facts, facts, facts, 100%, right, 100% for show.

Mike Johnson:

Shout out to Yana. Shout out to Yana. The pool was goodie, but allow us to play music. Come on, Lobby music whack. Yeah, there's some changes In the lobby music, though it's good there we go what up.

Mike Johnson:

You see how I did there what up For me individually. I remember one of the humbies from the show. Of course Michael says his name. He made me realize something he said most of us that go on a show let's be honest y'all don't remember all their names, but 90% of people listening that watched the Bachelor don't even remember my name. If you don't watch the Bachelor, you never want to know who I am right.

Roger Braxton:

Yeah.

Mike Johnson:

And it's just like three people that get remembered. You know what I mean. And so we'll have a set of 27 individuals. You feel me, and so one of the individuals that was a part of the 27, in my opinion, has the best body known to man, sure, and I saw him in person. I was like, bro, why are you unfollowing me, honey? Yeah, and he was like to be honest with you, bro, watching you and the people that are like four times bigger than I am.

Mike Johnson:

It's difficult because we started at the exact same spot with the exact same stuff, sure, but they like you and I, me, and that's hard to deal with and I felt that and I held space for him and that's really, truly, that's a risk, authentic, right there. Yeah, like, how can you imagine, like, having a twin? And they just blow up, yeah, and you ain't shit, yeah, ain't shit being from the outside perspective right now, from your own perspective, and so I felt him on that, and so I think that is mental health is a huge conversation coming off of TV. I mean one of my homegirls that Lost her battle to mental health. She was, quite literally, queen herself. Miss USA 2019, chester Christ.

Roger Braxton:

We talk for being vulnerable every single day and I believe I saw pictures of y'all posted on.

Mike Johnson:

Instagram. Yeah, it's funny because I Never posted our prior Wow and I think I wrote about that, my body, my caption. I was like man, I just I Wish I posted all of all of our little clips dancing is just being funny, cute but I never did because of she's a public figure. I was a public figure and you know you got deal with other BS and so she lost her life in a great deal because of the way people come at her. Yeah, came at her, and so mental health will always be a part of my conversation and I was like after the show.

Roger Braxton:

Yeah that was after the show.

Cassandra Jean:

Okay, I think you know I said this before, but I think sometimes like some of the most beautiful people, or like people you think are happy, or like hurting the most Sometimes, and I'm sure people looked at her and like she's was so beautiful, you know, and like no one knows what's going on in our inner worlds you know, except us and it's so easy with social media and everything just to attack people. But there's something really vulnerable about being willing to be yourself and like share who you are with the rest of the world, because there's a lot of people that could not handle that right. Like if someone Started kind of getting popular on social media and people started talking negatively, a lot of people would just shut down and give up and what you've done is really successfully build a brand and a perspective and know that people are gonna say things that you don't agree with, but continue to be yourself and hold space for that. So I think that's pretty impressive. Yeah, cuz anyone says one negative thing about me and I call him crying.

Mike Johnson:

No, so, like about that one, I appreciate what you said. Thank you and sorry for your loss. Yeah, I, I appreciate that. Yeah, I've. Actually I've lost four people to suicide, from heist to high school friends to when I was in the military, my battle buddy. I got some to Chesley and I'm sorry for your loss as well. I appreciate it and I think that to what you said.

Mike Johnson:

Cassandra, I Think we have bad math. I really do what I mean by that, right, let's say you post a picture, you get 10 comms, let's say eight of them a positive to them, or like dog shit, negative, yeah, the eight is out weighing the two negative, right, but all we do is pay attention to the negative there. That's bad math on us. Yeah, you mean, and so I try to think of for my mental, like I got a billion tips, but that's one of them. Just like bro have better math skills, did you not learn that thing in like middle school? Like you know, 10 minus 80, straight up, right, my stropping knowledge Girls for us over here it's just all about little things like that.

Mike Johnson:

And then the second thing for that and this is a this is a harder one to learn, but sure, that's not my business. Right that your dumb ass is not my business, bro.

Cassandra Jean:

Yeah.

Mike Johnson:

That's not my business. Like, how you feel about me is not my business, it just isn't. You may be talking about me, I may be the subject of your conversation, but that's not my business right now, if you my homie, you hear some shit you should tell me you gotta tell me, but if there's just somebody talking noise, that's not my business.

Cassandra Jean:

I've heard like an influencer say that she just leaves the bad comments there, perfectly like she doesn't delete them because she's like I'm just gonna shame them that way whatever you said, you have to live with that, because that's a reflection of you, not me, and I was like I love that. So, yeah, it has nothing to do with you, but some people are hurting, you know I.

Mike Johnson:

I definitely delete the the racial ones.

Cassandra Jean:

Yeah, yeah, I think my audience like 98 99% Caucasian.

Mike Johnson:

I just don't want I. Just don't like didn't in word of my on my post. Oh, you asked a question earlier. Like, what's the like? The only thing that's ever gotten to me ever, then it brings to mind because of the racial aspect is that people Didn't think that I like black girls.

Mike Johnson:

Oh, no, that's the only thing that got to me, the only thing I'm like bro, can a brother going to be like can you? Can you not be light-skinned? Going to be what deemed a success and not like a Certain race, like that's stupid.

Roger Braxton:

I mean no one. It's no one's business as well, right, Like that's what alone. How is somebody gonna know your entire life based upon one segment of it?

Mike Johnson:

That's a beautiful statement. Yeah, it's self-explanatory, it's rhetorical. That's a man. That's good, yeah.

Cassandra Jean:

Do you think that like affected your dating, like after being on the bachelorette, like just even like black women, like thinking maybe he's not in, like you know he was on this show. There was this white girl. Like how did that whole perspective?

Mike Johnson:

being a black man. Yeah, like yeah, I don't think that it affected it at all. When he came to white girls, I got a day with any white girl. I was like, hey, you know.

Roger Braxton:

But in the lobby world. This is Mike being very honest.

Mike Johnson:

It was like he liked me, but, like for the sisters, I think that Not even to be honest with you, not even on a TV aspect, even before going on TV, it was like you're in an Air Force, you're a financial advisor, you like, you know, you know you wear suits, you. It was just like an assumption, and it's a fair assumption to I want to make for the record, like when we watch the NFL draft, when we watch the NBA draft, I mean, how many times you see it? Yeah, you got 77% of the players being black and I would say a good 80% of those 70, 80% of those players that are black, they got a white girl, yeah, and so therefore it does something to the black girls like, well, men that are I put in this category don't like me, and that's a. That's terrible, that's sad, it really is. I Wish it wasn't that way. For sure I really do, and my girlfriend now is an African woman. I'm Absolutely in love with her.

Cassandra Jean:

She's dropped that gorgeous so I know I bet she's even more beautiful, but she's dropped that gorgeous, so you're a very lucky guy.

Roger Braxton:

I'm a respectful friend, so I'll never make comments towards your partner. But I man, I'm Right.

Mike Johnson:

I'm happy to see you happy.

Roger Braxton:

I appreciate it resonates very well and y'all both look like a true model couple Like yeah, you guys are like out of a magazine.

Cassandra Jean:

I'm like how'd you find each other?

Mike Johnson:

again. I'll be mark.

Cassandra Jean:

Mark mark.

Roger Braxton:

Shout out to mark.

Mike Johnson:

Mark is the man, seriously, but not so. I mean, mark. Actually I was living in Mexico to learn Spanish, right? Yeah, I moved it for seven months learning Spanish and then I moved to Colombia and then to like practice the Spanish. We're in Colombia, I move.

Roger Braxton:

This time I was in Cartagena, okay, nice and so you've been yeah, I mean I've been to Colombia a few times, yeah, twice.

Cassandra Jean:

It's a lot of I have friends that go there for bachelor party.

Mike Johnson:

I'll chase you First. There's a lot of hookers, you ain't? You're right 100%. And and they fucking gorgeous.

Cassandra Jean:

I was gonna say I think plastic surgery is cheap there too.

Mike Johnson:

They gorgeous. Naturally, they do got a lot of plastic surgery because, like they be having like the I call it Batman abs. They be looking good. Yeah, and he looked, turns to the side, he's out of flubber. He's like bro, what is going on? It's so me and a woman, both like they have abs, and then they turn to the side. You're like on a flap, like it's gonna do Jim.

Mike Johnson:

But it's a lot of hookers over there. They are Name, I would say it's like top three most beautiful women I've seen as far as the country goes. The others are like in a part of Africa and the Middle East, like Qatar, saudi area, and then I ain't gonna get into details like that. I'll tell you hey, watch it, go here, I'll tell you where to go. But now it's a lot of hookers. What I was doing there? Honestly, me and Mark, we had a spot out there. We were living there for about a month, month and a half. It was beautiful, right. So I'll tell you we had a my first time ever having a mate. Yo, have y'all ever had a mate Like this lady was cooking and cooking.

Roger Braxton:

I don't know if I have access to the same money you do.

Mike Johnson:

No, I'ma tell you, though I'll tell you, though, I'm a financial advisor, right? So I'll be looking at numbers and I'll be cheap. I'm too cheap. And so the homies, everybody would say I'm way too cheap. I live, stupid, below my means. And she was cooking six meals a day for me, like four meals a day for Mark, cleaned all the house I'm talking about like I think it was $10 a day, wow.

Roger Braxton:

I was in love with this one, like yo, you were so sweet.

Mike Johnson:

You know what I'm saying. My first meal was at 6 am like dope. So what we did there I don't want to deviate from the question. I didn't hook her with no hooker, for the record. That's why I came back to that question, because I don't want nobody to be thinking. I mean, there's one thing.

Roger Braxton:

Me neither. I don't want anyone to think.

Mike Johnson:

You feel me? Yeah, you feel me. There are women that are not hookers there too.

Mike Johnson:

Like you know, honestly, the women that I met there, the ones that I kicked it with were one was a supermodel she you can Google her, I'm not gonna say her name right now, Sure. And the other main one was a doctor, both Colombians. And so I was, me and Mark was living their life. I remember they were taking us around everywhere, Like we went to one of the finest restaurants in South America and we had Miss Columbia come up to the table like kicking it with us. We had it was just a ball. I'm just saying like that, I've lived a beautiful life.

Cassandra Jean:

I was just gonna say I feel like you've really got to experience a lot of things in your life and like in your dating and everything, and so like, how long have you been with your current partner? Because it sounds like you spent a lot of time on like self-discovery and dating and your career, and then now you have a person in your life. So what does that kind of look like? Like how did you meet? How long have you been dating?

Mike Johnson:

Yeah, we've been dating about 17 months 16 months and while I be talking, I'm dating in months like I had a kid, like I could just say you're gonna have something like that. Sure, you know, 17 months, you know, but it's still fresh, definitely fresh. I always like to say in our relationship, we're still building the foundation. Right, that's what I think I'll talk about in terms of months, cause to me, foundation is the most important part of any structure, right, the building that we're in right now. If it wasn't for the foundation, who forget the? Who cares about the walls on the second floor? Yeah, the foundation ain't there. That's just a fact, and so I look at relationships in that same way. But mommy Mark hooked us up. He actually went to. Since this is Austin where he was at Mayfair, I don't really go out that much at all, yeah.

Cassandra Jean:

I hear you, man, I hear you go hi.

Mike Johnson:

Shout out Mayfair. Yeah, so he was at Mayfair and my girl I'm so like. Well, I don't know what my ex does in life.

Cassandra Jean:

My girl. No offense to her, my girl.

Mike Johnson:

She had just moved back to America, she was living in Spain, and so it's kind of we already had some similarities in that regard. We both speak Spanish and so we got a couple of similarities in that regard. But Mark tried to highlight her, and you know what I mean. He tried to highlight her but, like shout out to Mark, Mark's good for a lot of things.

Cassandra Jean:

He brought a dog. Let's go, mark.

Mike Johnson:

You're on a hunger, you're on a hunger. But he tried to highlight her and like she stood up and like his height stopped, her height kept going a while and so that was like ugh number one. You know you're a tall woman.

Cassandra Jean:

You know what I'm saying you have a story of my life you don't have to tell me yeah, and then, like the second part, that's really funny.

Mike Johnson:

It was like he tried to spin her and she had a duck to go under his arm. I was like, ooh, she spun Mark. And so he was like, yeah, it ain't gonna work. And so he told her I got a dude that she should probably meet. You know, mark speaks highly of must, speak highly of him. Absolutely True homies. And then he slid me here IG and I hit her up a few weeks later.

Roger Braxton:

And I would even want to try to understand how this works, with you having a foundationally growing relationship, right? How do you mix in your version of being a sexologist and also being in a relationship, for sure, Like a beautiful question.

Cassandra Jean:

I mean, you sound like you're really. You know she must be lucky if you're a sexologist is what. I was thinking because I wasn't even sure what a sexologist was, but maybe the next person I date can be them too.

Roger Braxton:

Mike's going to be your new Mark.

Mike Johnson:

I mean, she happy for sure I am a sexologist, don't make me blush. I think the thing about being a sexologist, being in a relationship, is that you don't. You want to make sure you have a strong boundary, and that boundary is never want to come from a place of, like their therapist right Love Like. You never want to do that, because no one ever wants to feel like they need help for sure.

Mike Johnson:

You know what I mean and so it's always a place of like. I definitely know how to have proper conversations like non-violent communications, a big aspect of it, Absolutely, and I would say that's the biggest thing.

Roger Braxton:

Everything else is just you know it's fun. So it sounds like there's a large benefit to you being a sexologist and being in a relationship Can you explain what that is?

Cassandra Jean:

Yes, because I'm like to me. I'm just like OK, does that mean you're good at sex, or like what is that?

Mike Johnson:

Yeah, I'm not saying you're bad at sex.

Cassandra Jean:

There's my call-house cast.

Mike Johnson:

Super direct. No, fair for sure. I think that it's like you know what man I've grown so much because I could have ate that alive. Like you threw the shot, she was like I'm not a donkey.

Roger Braxton:

What's up you over here, like two years ago?

Mike Johnson:

No, not in that regard, but just like you threw it out for me to say something completely out, but I'm not going to say that at all. What I will say, though, is that I call myself a tantric sexologist, meaning I'm a tantrica In tantrica, most of a lot of people that are ignorant not ignorant in a negative way, but ignorant in the definition of ignorance which is the lack of knowledge in regards to something A tantrica is also for men as well as men and women, just because it has an A at the end.

Mike Johnson:

But as a tantric sexologist, I focus on ensuring that the person that I'm speaking to, ensuring that my clients, feel comfortable and safe in their own body Love, but then also that they can be intimate with others but then intimate with themselves. And I'm not even talking about just strictly sexual, because, let's be honest, sex is easy but intimacy is difficult.

Mike Johnson:

Absolutely Right, and so I help people, it's a commitment, yes for sure, and it's morally not morally, but more so a commitment with himself, a commitment to growth, because I think that, excuse me, I think what love is and being in love with someone is that they're going to show every fucking trauma that you have, absolutely, it's going to manifest in them.

Roger Braxton:

It's a mirror.

Mike Johnson:

Yeah, it's a mirror, and so I think that, as a sexologist, it's beautiful, because we can actually be intimate without sex.

Mike Johnson:

Yeah, makes sense, yeah, and so that's different for a lot of people. Let's be honest, right and in this day and age, we can smash left and right, but the act of actually when something comes up, and listening to your body, hearing your body, being healthy within your body. My entire mission as a sexologist is to grow our mental health and weave that with sexual well-being. So mental and sexual well-being, because they go hand in hand.

Cassandra Jean:

Yeah, I mean, I feel like sex is such a healing experience if you're doing it with the right person.

Mike Johnson:

Absolutely yeah, Sex is the not sex, I'd say, but achieving orgasmic bliss. And this is. You can go Google me, you don't want to believe me, and orgasm is the only thing In the lobby man. We trust you. That supersedes fear, pain, anxiety, depression, loneliness, everything that few seconds of that orgasm is. We call it bliss, because bliss, in our definition, is free from suffering. And that's what I want to do, and I want to help all my clients and every one that I encounter. I want to help you.

Roger Braxton:

Yeah.

Mike Johnson:

I want to help you, I want to help myself and all those listening to be free from suffering, because so many of us have quarters all flooding our body, stress, flooding our body with the day and age that we live in and that manifests in different ways. It can manifest in you cursing at your partner. It can manifest in the right side of dysfunction, performance, anxiety, vaginosis, inability to have an orgasm. It can manifest in all these different ways. So a girl might be like a girl may be talking to me oh, you're a sexologist, tell all these dudes they need how to fuck, right, and I can go in for sure on him. But then I can also go in on her and be like when was the last time that you played with yourself? Ok, when was the last time you played with yourself without a toy? When was the last time that you spoke your truth, got to know your body? When was the last time that you got to know your body but also your mind? When was the last time that you journaled in a positive way? Sure, like.

Mike Johnson:

I can go down a million things right For guys. When guys be like yo Mike, you know I'm getting kind of older, bro, you 36, too. You know how I get better testosterone. I always start off with two things One, how do you squat, and how often do you squat Absolutely? And then two, how do you meditate and how often do you meditate? Right, because they go a good set. A good Sex life is a good physical and mental health life.

Roger Braxton:

Absolutely.

Mike Johnson:

And that's my entire mission. I'm actually working with the National Coalition of Sexual Health as this very second, and doing my own, actually peer reviewed, studied, with the feeling scene in my company, sure.

Cassandra Jean:

Wow, I brought this up earlier and Roger was like, don't ask him this question. But, like, when you're working with your male clients, do you ever like, you know, is Viagra ever the option you know like, because I don't know like to keep your sex life like spicy and if it's not working for you, is that something you ever recommend? Or you always go like the holistic approach?

Roger Braxton:

first. Yeah, like, do you think the male or female, or is it one sided or both sides where they're looking for a cheat code versus actually the answer?

Cassandra Jean:

Well, at least males have Viagra. What do I have? Magic wine? No, Well no.

Mike Johnson:

Seattle. There's there's, as of the recording of this podcast. There are medications for both parties and all genders to help in that area.

Cassandra Jean:

OK.

Mike Johnson:

To answer your question, though I think that, well, to answer both of y'all's questions. I'm going to start with your question, roger, because it goes back to your question, cass. Everyone wants the quick fix for sure, period. That's the society that we live in, that's the Western culture, that's 2020s, that's what it is the now, cass, to you that's a bit of a more complex question I can say yes, easy, right. Yeah, bro, take some Viagra if you want to homie, but do you want to get to the? Do you want to band-aid or do you want to get to the causal level causal being root level of what's going on? Right, and we could do that as well.

Mike Johnson:

Normally it's a lifestyle thing, lifestyle being, mind, body, spirit, sex. Truly, that's normally what it is. If you're 63, that's normally what it's going to be, a lifestyle thing. And you know how many times I hear people Mel, mel's, say bro, I took some Viagra or Cialis or whatever the case may be, but the feeling is different. I'm the same. Yeah, my dick is hard, pause, but like Thank you for the pause.

Mike Johnson:

Yeah, like my dick is hard, but I just like I'm not you know raging you just mad at something Because it's a different thing, right? And this is what people are not realizing like the best sex. People always are always asking as well. Well, mike, what are the secrets, what are the tips? I always say step one it ain't going to be like you know, the come here, the emotion, we can do all that stuff, but that's just, that's like down the line.

Mike Johnson:

Step, one step one, your body part and your body part, my dick. They're. They're in tennis, right.

Roger Braxton:

And so they can feel.

Mike Johnson:

Yeah, Like my girlfriend will say something like even if my eyes are closed, I can feel when you're around a certain part of my body there's got me so excited.

Cassandra Jean:

Yeah, she says it's got me, so there's actual energy there, and so we can feel it.

Mike Johnson:

So there's an antenna there. So before the pie I'm not going to say which one- of y'all are, like you know, one of y'all like you have barriers up right.

Mike Johnson:

That's also going to be. Either one or two things can happen. Either you can compartmentalize and never focus on that. You can have sex all damn day and be busted all day, right. Or you have sex all day or not have sex at all, and never will she orgasm, right? There's so many things that are so much more important. I mean, like I said before, the pie, what is the most important, six inches is in between your ears. Shut out the Dr Suju Hansen for saying that.

Cassandra Jean:

Have you ever watched Avatar?

Mike Johnson:

Yeah.

Cassandra Jean:

You see, like when they're partners, they like, merge their health together. Yeah.

Mike Johnson:

Great analogy.

Cassandra Jean:

That's how I really think about sex and like, even for me personally, like I'm so cautious of like who I'm intimate with because I really feel like merging souls.

Mike Johnson:

Yes, no, there's. I'll tell my girlfriend. I will never talk about this on the air Because it is extremely controversial, for sure. All I will say is look up a Tulligene. Ok, that's all I'm going to say, all right?

Roger Braxton:

For our audience I'm sure they will, and for us as well. Mike, there's a version of everything that you've explained and gone into. I think you see ways in which both the masculine yourself, the feminine yourself, cass, you too can explore this version of conversation that I'm not sure you get in a single post that you may post online, but I know that our audience as well as us, we're very thankful to experience it. But I got to ask right Like do you see a version of love that is still out there, that the world doesn't know about, or is there a version of love that's dying, and how can you connect to that as a sexologist?

Mike Johnson:

Man, that's a homie question right there.

Roger Braxton:

I mean, these are our conversations. I appreciate it.

Mike Johnson:

I appreciate it, I know that I appreciate that question One second.

Cassandra Jean:

I'm like this is not on the list. That's good, though that's good.

Mike Johnson:

I will start off by saying that everything is 80-20, right. There is nothing that is solid when it comes to this conversation. I think that 100% of people absolutely unequivocally desire, want and, technically, if we're talking about longevity of life need love For sure. I think that there are conditionings, biases and judgments that we all have that is preventing that love. That's how I answer it.

Cassandra Jean:

Love. I feel like unconditional love is a really difficult thing too, because I do feel like in love there are conditions, sometimes right, like if you gain 45 pounds and I'm like I don't know if I want to be with you, then I'm not really loving someone unconditionally. So I'm always exploring the differences between conditional and unconditional love, because I still feel like we can have unconditional love but need to show up as the best version of ourselves for our partners.

Roger Braxton:

She's crazy. You say this because I just heard this quote and I want to see what you both think of it. Yeah, it was talking about love and it was saying how being in love is an actual agreement versus being in relationships can also be a version of contractual. And having those contractual relationships where, if somebody gains 45 pounds, as you say, that's your barrier to where you're like or your boundary where you're like, you know I'm out and that's not love. But if you know that on the front end you could live a very happy life with that person, if you just know, hey, this is a conditional love that we got going versus being in love for that long-haul journey is an actual agreement.

Mike Johnson:

Man. I think I'm happy and I appreciate this year. I have two words that I'm leading with. One is gratitude and great friends and the other is growth, and both of those words are going to come out in my response and what I was thinking when you guys were speaking, as I was receiving what y'all were saying.

Mike Johnson:

I think that the old Mike as in like the beginning of my relationship with my girlfriend now I was definitely having those conditions, because love for sure is conditional, absolutely. I don't have a child, so that would be my unconditional love being in a partner relationship. There is conditions, I want to say necessarily. The old Mike would say I want to add a condition of weight.

Mike Johnson:

But the man I am today, in 2024 and moving beyond, I think that there is three things that I'm going to steal from now, where I've got content that I definitely believe in when I come home or in my life, and what I de-mass success is that I have wealth, wealth and more than one, just wealth of money, wealth. I have health and I have home full of love. If the woman I am in love with is net positive in that regard, then I'm going to look internally for the vanity that I have. I think that's the best way I could say that. Now you damn right, my girl gained 200 pounds. There he is, there he is. I'm going to be 100 the whole way. I'm going to be 100 to you.

Roger Braxton:

This is how most of you made me feel like the third person out in this group chat. Y'all two get so vulnerable and directed. I'm over here like yes, ok.

Mike Johnson:

Now it's good though. It's good, though I feel that, right, my girl gained 100 pounds, we all, hey. And then there's things that you could do. It's like hey, babe, I know what size shoot my girl wear, right, for example, I know her what it is, so I might buy her a new pair of hoca shoes or something Sure Smart man yeah.

Mike Johnson:

I'm going to do something. I ain't going to be like you fat, I ain't going to say that, but it's going to definitely be like maybe it's a lifestyle change, right, what can I do? I am a this is controversial, but in my house, I'm the leader of my house, right For sure. And so therefore, what are we doing? What is our lifestyle looking like when she gets off work? Are we couch potatoes every day On the weekends? What are we doing? Are we couch potatoes? Are we going to play pickleball every weekend, like we do? Now, right, what is the lifestyle? What am I doing? Am I aiding and abetting this? I am huge on I just told my mentee this last week taking massive ownership, right.

Cassandra Jean:

Yeah, are you saying you're the leader in the relationship? Because personally, I look at men as the CEO and women as the COO in relationships. That's my take, but it sounds like you take a leadership role in your relationship.

Mike Johnson:

I think of it. I'm going to take it from the Latino community.

Cassandra Jean:

OK.

Mike Johnson:

The man is the head of the household. The woman is the neck she runs shit.

Cassandra Jean:

That's why, yeah, she's operation, right, she does she's everything.

Mike Johnson:

She's everything. Like if we playing chess, keen can't do shit without his queen, you know what I mean? Like he's still that, keen, she's a huge part of the game, she is the game. You feel me? And so I think of it like that. When I say I'm the leader of my household, like what that means is, hey, what's our five-year plan? What do we want to do? But she has all of her sayings. She's like I want to do this, this and this and this and this and this. I bet I'm leading. How we get that? So now we're moving into masculine and femininity.

Mike Johnson:

Right, I come from the Vajrayana tradition. It's a form of Tibetan tantra and in that tradition, how we define masculinity and femininity is masculinity means skillful means. Femininity means the ability to have awareness and the ability to sit within that and be creative. From that, wow, right. And so, based on that definition, I personally abide by that and love that. So what I mean by I'm the leader of my relationship, my girl got the yeah, my apology. My girl got the she moving the neck.

Mike Johnson:

Where are you going, babe? Where do you want to go? And then I bet I'm going to get it done. My girl want to house. I bet that's how I got to get that for her. Yeah, you know what I mean. I'm a, you know, and I a lot of the homies don't like what I got to say, because I'd be 100 with them too. I would like, bro, you want this, this and that, but what you bring into the table, bro, yeah, and I'll really say that to the homie, like to the male homie they got female homies too but to the male homies and I'll say that to the female homies too Like, what are you bringing to the table? I'm all about accountability. I guess that's the military in me. Like, you can't have your cake and eat it too, unless you can first off afford a cake.

Roger Braxton:

Yeah.

Mike Johnson:

You know what I mean. I'm not even talking about strictly just monetary, but like it comes down to those things.

Cassandra Jean:

Yeah, I mean both people have masculinity and femininity. Absolutely, I agree. I mean I'm single, so like when I'm going out there like looking for guys, I try to pay attention to that.

Mike Johnson:

Like you heard her, you just made it sound like a meat market.

Roger Braxton:

See, I do a lot of the questions and I keep my purpose of stuff out.

Cassandra Jean:

Yeah, but like, but for me, like looking at it, like I feel like men are protectors and providers in a lot of ways. And then women there's like this intuitive aspect to us. I just wanted to see what you think about, like someone like me saying that I feel like men are like protectors and providers.

Mike Johnson:

I appreciate the question. It's a great question. I hear that all the time. I think that I would prefer to go a bit more specific, right.

Cassandra Jean:

OK.

Mike Johnson:

So when we talk about providers, the question that immediately pops up in my head is what about those women that the statistics are showing? Women are graduating way higher, graduating from college way higher than men. Women are closing that pay gap quicker and quicker and quicker. And we talk about the black community, dudes, the black men, we ain't even on it. Like the women are demolishing us already, yeah. And so, therefore, when I hear that it's like, well, then, there is a discrepancy, right From a monetary aspect, for sure. But then also I go into the numbers and I go into the science. So when a woman makes more than a man, or, I'm sorry, when a woman makes the same amount let's say, you make 150, I make 160. Well, that's the same amount, right? Or I make 140, roughly the same amount what happens is there is a 50% chance that man is on a right side of dysfunctional medicine.

Roger Braxton:

Wow, yeah, then if the woman is?

Mike Johnson:

making 70% of the household income. That relationship is going to end.

Roger Braxton:

Yeah.

Mike Johnson:

And so when I hear that it's unfair to the women, I really think that statement is unfair to women, because in my head, when I'm thinking about that, what's up with my baby? That's like a lawyer, yeah. So my baby that's an entrepreneur, a doctor, these women, y'all are doing y'all thing, and so I think that we have to change that a bit. Now, in the security aspect, there's a lot of women that could beat a lot of these dudes up. Let me tell you Now, I'm now on the bandwagon of, like I do think that men are stronger on average. I prefer it. You need to be her emotional security for sure. Yeah, I mean you need to bring the emotional security there. And if we're talking about provider, if we're talking about provider of financial, I think that's how the conversation normally goes, because I can speak about the other aspects, but let me just speak to what I believe it is. Is that about the financial aspect?

Cassandra Jean:

normally, I feel like it's both, like, I think even just like providing a home or stability or safety for like your potential family right, because I feel like when we choose a partner, we're typically thinking of a family, a home, and so I just, you know, when I say provide, I think I just mean provide that safety and that home, and obviously finance is playing to that. But I feel like, as long as you're showing up as the best version of you and doing what you can, having a job trying to provide, that's being a provider and a protector right.

Mike Johnson:

Yeah, I think that sounds good in theory, but it doesn't play out that way, and what I mean by that is, you know, any women out here say if he can't afford me, don't date me.

Roger Braxton:

Yeah, I think where I hear both of you is like there's a sense of autonomy that exists in how you both consider that decision. Yeah, that's what it comes out to.

Mike Johnson:

It's within that relationship at the end of the day, for sure. But like to those women that say if he can't afford me, don't date me. That's the most dumb shit I've ever heard, because the people that can't afford you more than likely they're smashing everything.

Cassandra Jean:

Yeah, I agree and I think too. The other thing is like women, I think, can sense this. Not I guess I'm speaking for myself, but like if I'm dating someone and let's say he's making 40,000 and I'm making 100,000, who cares? Like? But if I see this potential in him, where he's really trying and I believe in him, I would date them like 100%, because I'm seeing something in you and you wanna grow with me and I know we can do this together.

Roger Braxton:

And that commitment too. It's like that may be a situation, that may be a moment in time that may not be forever For sure. So it's like if you could see that core value, like that's so it's valuable to you to say, for you to say to our audience, because I think your perspective is very important, but also your insight as well. It pairs very well with that. But hey, I wanna also be very careful, because I don't want you giving away all your secrets on the podcast.

Mike Johnson:

No, there's so many more we haven't even talked about the first three letters of a sexologist. What I do actually that. So there's so many more secrets. What?

Roger Braxton:

I wanna do is make sure we give enough time for you to really just make sure you give your version of your own kinda commercial advertisement of Mike. You're a part of so many different worlds, you're doing so many different things and this is exactly what In the Lobby is about to uncover more about you, to get to learn more about who Mike actually is not just a reality TV star and I think in this uncovering, in this episode, we know we have a lot more to talk about, so we hope that we have the ability to get you to come back on. Is that something maybe you'll be open to?

Mike Johnson:

Let's see that's the sales 101.

Cassandra Jean:

I'm like I have so many questions to ask him, and that's what I love about doing this podcast is we get to go a deeper level with people, and I feel like your story is gonna be so inspiring to people that are listening and just knowing that they can achieve success at their goals, their dreams.

Roger Braxton:

Yeah, male and female.

Cassandra Jean:

Yeah, maybe someone might wanna be a sexologist or need to see you seriously.

Roger Braxton:

You never know who you're motivating. No, you really don't know how many people you're probably gonna touch through this episode where they may reach out to you, create an inquiry to you to ask some key questions that they may be uncomfortable to ask to another friend or to another person. That could be that possible option. Yeah, we hope so.

Mike Johnson:

I mean, you asked about the things that I do. The feeling scene is that very place right there to where you can write into us anonymously or you put your name and ask the question. I mean we got it goes out every single Thursday to our audience. We got-.

Roger Braxton:

We left Thursdays over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah shut out Thursday.

Mike Johnson:

You feel me Individual? Today's newsletter, a cisgender woman wrote I want to be polyamorous, but I want my main partner to be monogamous. Wow, right, and she's from Ontario and we're gonna answer the question tonight on our newsletter, so People can definitely ask any and everything.

Roger Braxton:

I got you. How do they contact you with that?

Cassandra Jean:

Yeah, where can people stalk you? That's what I'm gonna call it. Where can people stalk you? Contact you?

Roger Braxton:

I'm gonna use that with you guys.

Mike Johnson:

And you just check with me at Mike underscore Johnson or IG or go to feelingscenecom. Okay.

Roger Braxton:

Yeah, so you know I'm a closer. You know you didn't answer my question.

Mike Johnson:

You're gonna come back or what? Oh, no, I got you for sure. Okay, I got you for sure.

Cassandra Jean:

What do we always say about the lobby, Roger?

Roger Braxton:

Hey look, Mike, there's one way we like to close this out. Yeah, and come back to the lobby, because you know it's going down.

Cassandra Jean:

Oh no, thank you so much Like I really feel like I could sit here forever and talk to you Like not even kidding I appreciate that, Mike we appreciate it.

Mike Johnson's Journey and Relationship Stories
Navigating Fame, Misconceptions, and Mental Health
Navigating Relationships and Self-Discovery
Sexology and Relationships
Exploring Mental and Sexual Well-Being
Exploring Love, Conditionality, and Gender Roles
Discussion on Women's Autonomy in Relationships
Cisgender Woman's Dilemma in Polyamorous Relationships

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