In the Lobby Podcast
Jenn Crowshaw on Gen Z Energy and Post-Divorce Discovery with a Jenn Z Podcast Collab
Today's episode takes us on an enlightening adventure with the wonderfully vibrant Jenn Crowshaw, whose journey through Austin's dating scene, personal growth, and the challenges of post-divorce life offers a fresh perspective on modern love and self-discovery. With her infectious youthful charm, Jenn reveals how authenticity and a Genn Z spirit have revolutionized not just her romantic endeavors but her entire approach to living.
We then navigate the deeply personal process of finding oneself after leaving behind the constraints of religion, sharing insights from her own transformative experiences in Vegas and the journey from a tomboy past to embracing her femininity and sexuality. This episode stands as a heartfelt nod to those navigating through significant life changes, seeking independence, and the complexities of starting anew after a divorce.
Wrapping up, we explore the intricacies of dating after a divorce, particularly when children are part of the equation, discussing how our relationships with our kids reshape our approach to new love. Celebrating our collaboration with the Jenn Z podcast, we bridge the gap between generations with humor and insight, promising richer conversations to come. Join us for an episode brimming with heart, humor, and a dash of wisdom—it's episode 9!
You can follow THE JENN Z PODCAST by JENN CROSHAW:
@jennzpodcast
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
You can follow In the Lobby Podcast: @inthelobbypod
You can follow Cassandra Jean:
@paininmycass_
You can follow Roger Braxton:
@arrogee
Today's episode takes us on an enlightening adventure with the wonderfully vibrant Jenn Crowshaw, whose journey through Austin's dating scene, personal growth, and the challenges of post-divorce life offers a fresh perspective on modern love and self-discovery. With her infectious youthful charm, Jenn reveals how authenticity and a Genn Z spirit have revolutionized not just her romantic endeavors but her entire approach to living.
We then navigate the deeply personal process of finding oneself after leaving behind the constraints of religion, sharing insights from her own transformative experiences in Vegas and the journey from a tomboy past to embracing her femininity and sexuality. This episode stands as a heartfelt nod to those navigating through significant life changes, seeking independence, and the complexities of starting anew after a divorce.
Wrapping up, we explore the intricacies of dating after a divorce, particularly when children are part of the equation, discussing how our relationships with our kids reshape our approach to new love. Celebrating our collaboration with the Jenn Z podcast, we bridge the gap between generations with humor and insight, promising richer conversations to come. Join us for an episode brimming with heart, humor, and a dash of wisdom—it's episode 9!
You can follow THE JENN Z PODCAST by JENN CROSHAW:
@jennzpodcast
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
You can follow In the Lobby Podcast: @inthelobbypod
You can follow Cassandra Jean:
@paininmycass_
You can follow Roger Braxton:
@arrogee
He just said dude, she's gorgeous, my gosh, okay, I'm coming here, Okay, perfect, yay, thank you so much.
Speaker 2:So Jen just got to Austin and she already has like potential skitters. I hope so. I hope so Is what you're saying.
Speaker 3:I'm trying, I know.
Speaker 1:I've been sitting you up right now, thank you.
Speaker 3:If you didn't have a boo.
Speaker 1:I got a DM about you already you know, look, I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna ride it out with my boo, but I'm telling you Ride it out with your boo.
Speaker 3:I like that. I'm gonna hook you up.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:I feel like we're like the dynamic trio. Like you didn't know, I'm like you're cool. Yeah, like you needed it, I enjoy this a lot.
Speaker 3:I do too. I know I just need dating experience legit. I just need to like go on dating.
Speaker 1:I promise you, I'm like having to respond to this guy. He's like going hard in the paint right now.
Speaker 3:Ooh, I love it. We love a little anxious of a tap. It it's kind of nice.
Speaker 2:Usually it's just me.
Speaker 3:I like the ego feed, you know, which makes you feel good sometimes, but the interesting thing is, everyone is like oh, she is so fucking hot If I give them my Instagram and then nothing comes from it. And I'm like I genuinely want to date, like ask me out, like it's where we could talk about that. I don't like, I don't get it.
Speaker 2:We were talking about this yesterday. So, first of all, welcome to the lobby. Yay, we have Jen Kroeschaw in our lobby. She is a fellow podcaster. She has her own podcast, the Gen Z podcast, yes, which I literally love the name.
Speaker 3:It's because I'm a delusional milf and I just I resonate, you know, as a Gen Z-er but I'm a millennial. I don't know, my birth certificate is bullshit, but yeah.
Speaker 1:So do you feel like you're aging like Benjamin Button or Like a hundred percent? Okay, got it.
Speaker 3:But do you know what it is? There's a couple of things, and I don't mean to be like. I grew up kind of ugly, so it gave me a really good personality.
Speaker 1:I was for sure the ugly duckling.
Speaker 3:It's the best place to be, because when you, yeah, and then living more authentically into my purpose and who I am has really changed my aura and my look. I don't look like how I was, but it's because I'm living authentically. Finally, I was really. You look back at pictures and it's crazy.
Speaker 1:I have like two comments on that, because there's two things that I've experienced that are kind of directly connected to it. One never got my eyebrows done until I was like 27. It was like changing I looked back at pictures, I was like none of you were my friends before. My eyebrows were horrid yeah.
Speaker 2:Horrid.
Speaker 1:So that is one thing, but then the other is, honestly, I had terrible acne in high school and I thought it was the worst experience when I was younger and I use it as like a perspective change because it was actually the most health. It was like the healthiest thing for me Because I was able to really see the people that were there for me to actually be a friend. To actually be in my life, versus people that wanted me to be there to benefit their party.
Speaker 1:To benefit a moment of like having the hot guys around them. Whatever the case was Totally, and I really got to see through people and I think it helped me to create this like internal compass of deciding like who's healthy for me and who's not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I think there's something really beautiful about being a late bloomer anyway, and that's what I love about you is because you do have such a young energy to you and you're so beautiful. Yes, you look so young.
Speaker 3:It's young energy. But it's the weirdest thing and I'm friends with all the really so I'm a hairstylist in Las Vegas. I also have a podcast that I try to do out in Austin, but at the salon I don't resonate with the girls that are my age. I am that way, so I have the wisdom of like living that long. But like I'm not. Like I'm with the young girls and it's just cute. We like call each other age gap couples, like, and I just hang out with them and no one would even know. But it is a little weird when like the younger like I do like younger guys, but when they really young ones come up and like ooh these are your girls, but like, I like.
Speaker 3:I know I look a certain way, but I'm not. I'm a little too old for you. My boy.
Speaker 1:No, it's tough Like you may get caught up with the right one you know, Maybe I hope, I'm hoping.
Speaker 2:Well, we just watch Jen get really excited because so we always say that we keep our podcast pretty Austin based.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:And you're like kind of like dipping your toes in Austin.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and Roger, you're on first. Yeah, roger, and.
Speaker 2:I were laughing because we brought you into the collective gym here to podcast with us. It's a lot of hot, attractive men. It's ridiculous and I don't even pay attention because I'm so used to being here, but I'm like this is new. This is like Jen's new playground.
Speaker 3:I can't even focus, that's true. There's I don't know what it. Why does Austin have so many beautiful people and so many hot guys?
Speaker 1:The craziest thing is I look like y'all's bouncer, like we walk in here you look and do Roger. Everyone's looking at me like why are you with them? I'm like hey, hey, hey.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, we already took Jen. We went to dinner with Jen and we took her to the what's that? Burger spot.
Speaker 1:I always fucking.
Speaker 2:Not a damn chance Not a damn chance.
Speaker 1:I always say can I have a? Not a goddamn chance burger.
Speaker 3:They get me like. They're like what? What Best burger of my life? No joke.
Speaker 1:Thank you for taking me it's really incredible.
Speaker 2:It was incredible. We had a lot of this morning too. I'm like I want another one. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:It was worth the hype. Is it Michelin Star?
Speaker 3:Yeah, the Michelin Star chef.
Speaker 2:And his friend who was a skateboarder, came together.
Speaker 1:They prepped this burger for like two years.
Speaker 3:Stop Wow, genuinely Incredible.
Speaker 2:And I mean, I feel like we were all getting hit on when we were together last night. It's like there's so many beautiful.
Speaker 3:There's just more opportunity? I don't know. Listen, I grew up in Vegas and elementary I was born in Seattle, but I was raised in Vegas since I was nine.
Speaker 1:What when in Seattle?
Speaker 3:Federal Way area.
Speaker 1:So I actually do know Seattle pretty well.
Speaker 3:Really Okay. Every time I say Federal Way, everyone's like oh.
Speaker 1:This hat is actually a Seattle hat.
Speaker 3:Shut up. Everyone's like oh. And I was like, is it ghetto? And apparently where I grew up was ghetto, but I didn't know.
Speaker 1:Whatever Federal Way it's like meh.
Speaker 3:Anyways, I grew up going to like Mariners Spring Training and like I, actually I don't want to be a fan. I gave big lesbian vibes for a while Growing up. I played softball competitively and I was going to play softball in college and then I broke my dad's heart and I was like listen.
Speaker 1:What position Pitcher oh?
Speaker 3:my sister was a pitcher. Yeah they're yeah, so.
Speaker 1:My sister did turn out to be gay.
Speaker 2:Really no stop it, stop it. I'm shocked that you're saying that you were like a tomboy playing sports, because you're such like the epitome of a girly girl I know I look really feminine.
Speaker 3:but yeah, no, that's my sister, though my sister's such a girly girl, yeah, I think I probably went like the complete, like I went way on the other because I wasn't. You know, my dad played college baseball. I was his oldest. I don't think I really had the opportunity to even choose really, because I definitely have the personality of like a cheerleader and a dancer, but I also was I was actually really good at softball.
Speaker 1:You came out, he probably gave you like a man and a ball.
Speaker 3:Absolutely yeah. There was like no choice. Like I was playing softball and I was good at it, but by the time I was like Listen, I listen, bro. Like I would like to be a girl, yeah, yeah, and I wondered why I didn't have a boyfriend and I was like, oh, so then I look back, I get it.
Speaker 1:Did you finish high school in Seattle?
Speaker 3:So I moved to Vegas when I was nine. My dad moved for a job. Yeah, so I was raised in Vegas.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's like such an interesting place, I mean total.
Speaker 3:People have a really weird perception of Vegas. It's actually so interesting, so it's very like clubby party on the strip and then outside of it it's like crazy suburbia. It's really hard to be single in Las Vegas because I live, I have two kids and I, you would never know. Yeah, I'm a mom, but I like to be referred as Milf, milf, milf and yeah, so I live in the suburbs, which is amazing, but it's like very family oriented You'd be shocked Like Vegas. It's like really like chill, low key, boring. So Go ahead.
Speaker 2:I was so confused too, because we were talking about religion, yes, and you were involved, like so heavily in your religion in Vegas.
Speaker 1:Yes, I think we'd be shocking to some. Yeah, some people probably assume there is no religion in Vegas.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you would think there are a ton of. I grew up Mormon there are tons of Mormons in Las Vegas.
Speaker 1:That's crazy.
Speaker 3:But, yeah, christianity there are tons of religions. I know I know people get this perception of Las Vegas and it's like that downtown, but it's not. It's super family oriented.
Speaker 1:I think it's the same thing as, like New York, I'm from.
Speaker 3:New York.
Speaker 1:Everyone thinks I'm from, like one particular place that they understand New York as and it's like, yes, I may have been born there, but no, like there's so many other places to be raised. And same thing with Texas. Like everyone thinks, there's cattle everywhere. Now, you may run into it, but it's not on every single street corner. Like it's just what you may have set up in your mind as an epitome of a certain place.
Speaker 2:It's just not that I know it's so weird, like the like misconceptions, absolutely, and I think it's so weird to have a place that you can even have about places, cause when I started thinking, about Vegas and you're talking about suburbs and you're talking about Mormon religion.
Speaker 3:It's hard to put it together.
Speaker 2:You're like I know, I know.
Speaker 3:I started thinking about that show. Sister Wives yeah, and they were in Vegas for a while.
Speaker 2:They were in Vegas. Yeah, that's good, that's good. Yeah, that's crazy yeah. That's my connotation with it though. Well, yeah, I think it originated with polygamy, and then, like the mainstream Mormon church obviously stopped long, long, long time ago and then, like the people in Vegas, is there something with the laws.
Speaker 3:So they were persecuted in the East and so they all went West and settled West. So that's why you're going to see a lot of Utah is like the home base, but tons in Nevada, lots in California. They just migrated West.
Speaker 1:And then isn't there a lot of Hawaiians in Vegas.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, and there's a lot of more.
Speaker 1:Hawaiians are more. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3:So they call it the.
Speaker 1:I'm glad you can connect this.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they call it the 9th Island. I believe. Don't quote me on it. It's either the 7th Island or the 9th Island. Sure, there's tons of Polynesians, it's awesome.
Speaker 1:Vegas is like their New York City.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yes, yeah, yep, totally Wow.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's amazing.
Speaker 3:Lots of Polynesians yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you were married for a long time. It still so like throws my mind that you have like two kids. I know you were married.
Speaker 3:I know I think you're lying every second, I know I feel like I'm in like two different timelines really, which is it's just weird. Yeah, so I got married really young. I grew up super conservative. How'd you all meet Church?
Speaker 1:Got it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and we you know we were. We followed the religion and got married. We saved ourselves from marriage, which I mean it was great for then. I will never do that again.
Speaker 1:I gotta ride that boat.
Speaker 3:I mean it was luckily it worked out.
Speaker 3:I do think it's insane, though, to make a lifelong commitment without doing that For sure, but luckily it worked out for me. But I mean, I know a lot of people who it doesn't. You know. Yeah, I got married super young, since I was 20. And we got divorced. We were married for 14 years and yeah, I mean we're still good friends. We both left our religion together, so we did that before. It's funny, because growing up in the Mormon church, they kind of tell you like if you leave, you lose everything. And what ended up happening is we did leave, and what it looks like to the outside is we did lose everything.
Speaker 1:I guess we got divorced. We regained so much more.
Speaker 3:And I'm talking to my ex about it and he's like you know there's a reason for that is because when you deconstruct, you realize like this isn't for you anymore and things fall apart. What looks on the outside, things are falling apart, but really you're living in authenticity and shedding it. So it's funny, like you know, we kind of proved them right-ish, but it's been hard a couple of years, but I'm thriving and I want people to know that, like you, can absolutely be happy and live a really fulfilled life and not have to be a part of that you know, everyone can live different lives.
Speaker 3:But I think there's a little bit of like internal pressure maybe that I feel like I kind of proved them right-ish from the outside perspective. But it's important to me to be successful and to be in authenticity and to live fully so that people can see like that's not the case, you've been lied to.
Speaker 1:Right, and is your definition of success with someone or alone?
Speaker 3:Right now, my current journey is to. I want to cultivate such a healthy relationship with myself, because I never had that. I mean, I went straight from my parents' house to, literally getting married.
Speaker 1:That's kind of where my question comes from.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so it's been really lonely, to be on my own, Scary. But I know that my mission right now is I need to be so okay being alone, and I've kicked and screamed. It's not easy. It's not easy. But to be so healthy alone, I mean I want to get remarried. I'm not even opposed to having another kid If I'm going to be. I mean, the funny joke would be like all my little friends at the salon are like the young 20s, Like we'll probably all get pregnant together and I'll be like old, like 42 year old. You know, I mean that's probably how it's going to happen. But I'm totally open to having another baby. I kind of want someone who doesn't have kids and I'd rather give him a child. But I really do want to get remarried and I want to have kids. But I don't know where we're going with that.
Speaker 1:Well, it's a defined that version of success, right?
Speaker 3:So success looks like to me is living just so authentically, like if you look back at pictures, I just I was unhappy because I've always been who I am. I'm wild, I'm a free spirit. I have this like radiant energy. I'm a rebel, like.
Speaker 1:I really do have radiant energy, thank you.
Speaker 3:I just I was put in a family that I just I always thought differently and it wasn't really accepted and that's okay. I just you look back at pictures and I look different and it's because I'm living authentically. So success looks like yeah, I want to be successful in my career, but I ultimately just want to be happy.
Speaker 2:Yeah and I was talking to you about this earlier too is like you know, what did your marriage kind of look like? Was it more like a traditional marriage or was he like the provider protector? Yeah, like I know. One thing I asked you is like, were you like a Pilates housewife? No, were you still working? Like, what did that situation look like? Because you and I are always having these conversations Totally Like we're out here grinding, working. Yep, we're going to be like ourselves to keep some times. We're so in our masculine yes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have a lot of thoughts on that actually. No, I've never been a housewife. So, because I grew up so conservatively, I was raised like women kind of stay home. They raised the kids and I have always felt different and I'm a natural rebel by heart. So I was like fuck you, you're not going to tell me what to do. I'm never going to stay home with my kids. I want to be a mom and I'm going to be a good mom, but you can't tell me, because I'm a woman, that I need to stay home. Right, absolutely. I'm a little too far on the boss bitch side, okay, and I hustled. I've always worked. Yeah, I'm a little tired now.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm a little tired now and I think my traditional marriage always monogamous. I'm a monogamy girl, but I would say that we both worked. I've always worked. He provided for a long time. You know I was building my, so this is interesting. I went to hair school right after high school. I worked at Caesar's Palace on the strip this crazy hair salon and I got anxiety and I was like I hate hair, I hate this, and I quit hair for like seven years and I went back to school for a paralegal degree so freaking random. And then one day I was like I'm too fun to be in a cubicle. This is weird. So I went back to doing hair and I just realized I do love hair.
Speaker 1:I feel like you could make anything fun. Yeah, it's to be fair.
Speaker 3:It was, but the cubicle is not my place. I was just like meh. But when I got back into hair I barely made any money and he was like I got you, I'll provide you know. And then it ended up being I became the breadwinner. They have grants.
Speaker 3:The interesting thing is the roles started becoming reversed and I think that that ultimately led to kind of the demise of my marriage. There's lots of things. Our roles were reversed and it was a weird dynamic, I would also say. When we got married, we kind of trauma bonded. We were so young I needed someone to save me.
Speaker 3:I didn't really have emotional safety when I grew up. Obviously they're a great family, they provide it for me financially, but I've always been different. I did not have emotional safety and so I desperately needed someone to save me and he came in. We both had trauma, we bonded, he saved me and then eventually I realized I don't want to be saved anymore and I don't think he wanted to save. We both kind of got to this point where we were like holy shit, we were so young. Now we're both healing, but we're healing on different trajectories, and I just was like I don't wanna be saved anymore. But it's extremely uncomfortable because I leaned on him so much to you know. I went from my parents to him and then, once I started healing and some of the childhood stuff, I was like I need to do things on my own and we both just sat down. It was a very healthy like nobody did anything bad. We sat down and we had some really hard conversations.
Speaker 1:You sound healthy now, even on the back end.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we're really good friends. It just was that we sat down and we had really hard conversations and when we were both starting to heal, we realized one we trauma bonded and we were little. We're not the same people that we were. How can we make this work? And ultimately we decided I think we need to let ourselves go to grow and I didn't think that we both thought that we couldn't achieve the growth that we needed together. For me, I needed to be alone and I needed to be my own savior and my own safety and not rely on anybody. And for him, he didn't need to be saving someone, he needs to save himself.
Speaker 3:It was really painful to just have that realization, like nobody did anything bad. It just was at that point where we were like we've grown apart, we were babies. We're healed. Now we're on our path to healing. I think we need to let ourselves go and we kind of stepped away and we said let's do the work and grow and if we get back together, cool. But honestly, I don't see it like that at all. I think our energies are just so different. We're really good friends, but it's never gonna go that way again.
Speaker 2:I think I came into this episode wanting to ask you so many questions about why the marriage ends, and was there fighting happening like infidelity? But just the way that you talk about your ex cause we say this all the time the way that you talk about your ex says a lot about you as a person.
Speaker 3:It's really important for me. I mean, there have been times where I've been extremely frustrated with him post-divorce Financially, like I am on my own. So, I think I don't want people to get it twisted Like I'm doing everything, like you know, like on my own.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but he's extremely supportive. Yeah, nobody did anything wrong and I think people wanted that juice and I'm like, honestly, we left our religion and we went into deep therapy to deconstruct and we realized we did a lot of things for other people and we need to grow and I don't know how to achieve the growth that we both individually need together. I mean, my growth was I was depending on him too much. I needed to be on my own savior. I needed to be uncomfortable alone. I need to be alone and be okay with that.
Speaker 3:This is probably private, but through our marriage, a lot of times he would say you need me more than you want me. And I thought a lot about that and I was like, unfortunately, because I was so emotionally damaged when I was younger, my needs were greater than my wants and I needed to someone to save me and I loved him and I wanted him, but my needs were greater than my wants and I needed someone to save me. So I'm really trying to work on being my own savior and being my own. And it's hard, like it's really uncomfortable. For the first time in my life, I have to heal, like I have to self soothe. I can't rely on my family. I can't rely on this guy that I was with forever to save me. It's me.
Speaker 1:I think that you bring up a valuable lesson as well. It's like you're betting on yourself, and I think when you bet on yourself, it's uncomfortable. It's so painful Like there's probably some minutes, hours and days and weeks, months.
Speaker 3:Who knows how long the time for it needs to be or what it is where you really just have to motivate yourself to put one foot in front of the other and I look back and I'm like I'm so proud of myself because I'm coming to Austin once a month. I could never have done that. I started going on solo trips when we were starting to separate. I have never done any traveling alone, sleeping alone. I couldn't do it. I would have to call him.
Speaker 3:I would get anxiety at night and sleep. And here I am every month, like coming to Austin alone, and I'm like it's hard to see your progress because it's still uncomfortable, but I'm like, damn, you're doing it OK.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's like I feel like I could be wrong, but it seems like part of your healing process is like podcasting too. You're really doing that for yourself. So is that kind of what motivated you to get into podcasting?
Speaker 3:Yeah, Originally, my personality has just always been so big Like I feel like there's something bigger, like I need it to be out there to talk to people I do hair.
Speaker 1:We have two guests here because your personality is so big.
Speaker 3:No, and I do hair and it's really fun and I interact with my guests. And then I started making like goofy reels on my Instagram and that brought me joy. But originally I started the podcast as like a creative outlet I wanted to talk about, I mean, going through divorce. People are so shitty, like people are so stupid, and actually I'm like such a loving, fun, kind person and I even a little.
Speaker 1:You're going through a breakup, people are shitty, so a divorce Like I can only imagine.
Speaker 3:I hate people.
Speaker 1:And I hate saying that, because it's like Because then again you still love people.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I guess. No, yeah, I just. I started it as a way to be, like you know, like it's a cathartic healing experience, and I wanted to talk about like getting divorced and people and, like you know, stop giving unsolicited advice. And then, you know, in the dating world and then I want to kind of niche down more into dating but, like life and funny, I don't know where it'll evolve, but I'm really excited and I want it to just keep going and I'm just kind of giving myself grace to like let it evolve naturally and just Well, I get.
Speaker 1:yeah, I'll kind of pay you back on your question to where I feel as if your podcast and like asking more about it you're one of those podcasts where I listen to it and yours is like a journey.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it is Hearing it in a higher journey. It's going to be very interesting to where it ends.
Speaker 1:I wish the niche was. The answer was journey. Right, like if you could put like what type of podcast it was. It was like journey.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because people are like what type of podcast? I'm like, you know, we talk about healing, we have a little comedy, we have a little pop culture, we have dating, we have divorce, like I don't know, it's a lot, it's just life.
Speaker 2:You know what I think it is, though it's you there you go. That's what it is, it's authentically you and that's what people are going to resonate with. You know, and I think that's what's so cool about it and, like your experience, is so good for people to hear, because, getting married so young, I'm sure you weren't even on dating apps ever, oh never.
Speaker 3:The divorce? Never, yeah, no, I barely had any dating experience. I think I had like one little boyfriend in high school and it barely was anything. So that's terrifying. Dating apps are wild. Like I don't even like yeah. So I mean, I've been divorced for two years. I've been trying. I'm like I go like we talked about it yesterday, like I go like ebb and flow. Right now I'm off of them, I don't want anything to do with them, I'm exhausted. I'm just like catch me in the wild, catch me in the wild, boys, please.
Speaker 3:That's so funny, you heard it here first. Catch me in the wild.
Speaker 2:They're already trying to.
Speaker 1:I'm receiving DMs as we are, literally. He got one DM guys, but honestly I'm open. He's on it right now.
Speaker 3:I'm open to all the DMs.
Speaker 2:Send it to Rod, she's single, so I am single, yes.
Speaker 1:And it's different too, because usually Cass is like, hey, for anyone that's single, I'm here.
Speaker 3:Holler, hello, Ratchett girl yeah.
Speaker 1:That is funny.
Speaker 2:Well, have you been in a relationship with anyone since your divorce? I?
Speaker 3:dated, so I call it the bad pancake theory. I always say this have you guys heard about that?
Speaker 1:No, I feel like I know where you're going, but no.
Speaker 3:So I feel like after a long-term relationship, the first on my mind is love. So in a batch of pancakes, the first one is shit, it's like. It's literally like burned and whatever. And then the rest get like golden and fluffy. So I feel like you gotta have your bad pancake. I did try to date a guy. I haven't had anyone that I would say is my boyfriend. I dated two guys, maybe consistently one for two months, one for a month.
Speaker 1:No, Look at you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I wish Roger. No, that would be awesome. We also talked about I don't have a roster. I like I just am not that girl. I would rather just pour my energy into one person and then, when it's done, it's done, move on. I've dated, I've gone on lots of first dates, but they really haven't gone anywhere. I dated two guys like a little bit more consistently, but only for like a month or two, like in it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I guess it's you bring up, or we brought it up in our conversation with you the difference of masculine and feminine energy. Do you feel as if men right now are too fragile to deal with versions of maybe you having kids or having an ex-husband? Yeah, it's interesting Like does that get in the way of your dating experience?
Speaker 3:I think it does. I had one guy that was like kind of flirt with me over DMs and he I can kind of sniff out, I think, because I'm a mom and I do like younger guys. I do like them, but I'm also open if you're like hot and have young energy and you're older. But I like younger guys because I naturally have younger energy. I don't resonate with being 38. And this one guy was like trying to flirt with me.
Speaker 3:I also think there's like a milk fantasy which is like kind of fun on the ego, but at the same time I'm like, listen, like at this point in my life I want to date, like intentionally date. But yeah, he was like in my DMs, like hitting me up and I'm like if you want to take me on a date, then great, but like this, whatever, and he goes well. I just I have some reservations. I'm like cool, hit me with them. He's like I've never dated anyone with kids and I'm like that's fact and that's valid. I actually personally don't want to date someone with kids. I don't want to blend families. I would rather marry someone who doesn't have a baby and give him a baby, like that's just like yeah, but I was really worried when I got yeah, I was really worried when I got divorced because I was kind of like a little bitter.
Speaker 3:I'm like damn, like I'm this age and like no one's going to want to date me with two kids and I also yeah, it's a lot, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I said that's a lie. Oh, that's right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I thought it was like I don't know it could have. It could impact my dating. I honestly like things aren't really going anywhere. So, yeah, but I don't know. My kids have a great dad. No one's trying, I'm not trying to be stepdaddy. I also am used to working, so I don't need anyone to come and save me. So I'm just like look like I don't know. It's tricky. Yeah, it probably does impact dating. I just don't really know about it.
Speaker 2:Well, we were talking about this the other day. It's like there's so many different timelines on women and I like that. It looks like because you know I'm 29,. We talked about this Like people could be looking at me like why is she single? Why is she single? Yeah, and then someone could contradict you oh, she has kids. It's like who the right person?
Speaker 3:for us.
Speaker 1:Totally Doesn't care.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and if you get to know me, like yeah, and then we just address, I'm just like there's no pressure, like let's just see if we vibe, and then we can have kind of those conversations. Also, my kids are so freaking cool and easy Like they're not like in diapers, you know they're, and they're just so sweet Like they're good.
Speaker 1:And are they? I think that's something, too that comes up, Cause I had a friend of mine that I grew up with who his parents were divorced but very comfortable together. Like literally friends, and so much so that his dad was the coach of our basketball team. My dad was the coach and his stepdad was the coach.
Speaker 3:I love that.
Speaker 1:So like they were all the coach in the same team.
Speaker 3:That's so cool.
Speaker 1:And all the kids on the team were like this is weird for you. Huh yeah, it just wasn't. It really wasn't.
Speaker 3:I think that just requires an emotional maturity that I would. I would love that. For sure I'm also aware, like obviously that's weird, but I would love it?
Speaker 1:Are your kids comfortable with you dating?
Speaker 3:I make jokes about it to try to ease it up. I haven't really. I introduced one, the guy I dated for a couple months, but as a friend and I don't know, I think they're more open to it.
Speaker 1:Were they sniffing?
Speaker 3:it out. No, she bought it. Yeah, you know she was like oh cool, like you have a friend, they're very open to like. They just don't really want like another dad. They're just like oh, it's like a bonus friend.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like yeah, but I don't know. I think we've done a really good job of like we really haven't gone, like no one's really moved on, like it's crazy. You know, fast, we both have really tried to do healing, so they haven't really met anyone. I think they're open to it. I make jokes all the time. I even make jokes about dating aliens at this point, honestly, when they confirmed like the aliens, I was like ooh, daddy's home, like dating pool they're probably hot honestly, If they're over six feet and healed.
Speaker 3:hit me up, they probably are hot Alien or not? Honestly, maybe we should do it for the plot, so what? So I kept saying like she saw like a UFO in the sky and I was like, oh, daddy's home and that's like big. And she's like stop, mom, I'm like A normal thing out there in Nevada.
Speaker 1:Is that fair?
Speaker 3:Oh, all the time.
Speaker 1:Like alien talk.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Like area 51. Anyways, I was like oh, that's your step daddy baby. She didn't like that, she didn't think that was funny, you both guys' daddy. Oh, I love it Absolutely. I love calling a guy daddy.
Speaker 3:I will gladly that's like that submission energy, I think so we've talked about this because me and you are in our masculine and, like I have a freaking career and all that I want to submit to a man. I just haven't met a man that like I'm worthy, yeah, and also that doesn't get intimidated by my success, like it's. I'm not trying to emasculate you, it's just like you know, I I don't know.
Speaker 2:Do you feel like? Do you feel like men's Egos are a little bit more fragile than women's?
Speaker 3:I don't know. Okay, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what you guys think.
Speaker 2:I feel I feel like they are. I feel like I've had a hard time Dating, that I feel like I've seen men be a little bit more fragile with their ego. In my experience, or it's like they're needing their ego fed and I haven't even met them in person. Yeah so I'm like how am I gonna tell you You're so great, you're so hot? And like, yeah, I miss you. Yeah, I can't wait to see you. I'm like you haven't even made the effort to meet up with me in person.
Speaker 3:I have found I think I'm gonna start so the most successful recent Interactions with men and the relationship they have not seen my Instagram. Yeah and I'm at the point where I went. So it's like on the dating apps, I'm off of them. But when I was on the dating apps they'd be like what's your Instagram?
Speaker 3:I give it to them and then instantly like nothing happens. And I thought a lot about that and I I don't know if I and like I have no idea, but once guys see my Instagram, it's like they don't ask me out and my friends like, oh, you're there, intimidated, and I'm like, if you got to know me, I am not intimidating them the slightest. I'm down to earth, like I don't get it and I'm also kind of goofy on my Instagram. So I don't know if like my personality is too much for them or they just see that like oh, she's like happy and independent, like is that fragile to their ego? I don't know.
Speaker 1:I think if they don't have the right intentions by you and this is me as a guy- yeah they don't have the right intentions by you and you have a podcast. They're like, holy shit, she's gonna out me on the podcast.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I did do a couple episodes. Yeah, and I did do it. It was fucking awesome. That could be scary, yeah, some people and I'm trying not, I'm not trying to be the Taylor Swift of freakin you know podcast and try to like blast guys. But um, I did talk about one time my first interaction with a man Divorce. He had a broken penis. Well, that's I mean there is no. I know, I know even my slutty friends were like they haven't had the pleasure I have. What does that mean?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I flew to New York to meet this guy I met one time in Las Vegas and I like I don't know what I was thinking anyways.
Speaker 1:But like why wouldn't he tell you in advance? He?
Speaker 3:told me the day after it just it was freaking weird. I was so uncomfortable, it was just weird and something was not right and I was like what the hell? And then the next day he's like ah, babe, babe, did you know that I have? I broke my dick and like with his British accent I was like what, what? I can't believe. I've even talking about this on the phone.
Speaker 3:I did an episode about it. But I was like what? And he's like, oh yeah, oh yeah, he goes. I went to be that, I went to be the with the boys and he's like I was doing so many drugs and Like I couldn't get it up. So then I took a Viagra and then I had sex with this girl for five hours and then broke my dick and I was like what? And like let me just give you this picture Jen Kroosha. Like I, like I grew up Mormon. I'm like why am I with this guy? Yeah, like I don't. I don't even drink, you know. So I'm just like what? Is this the first guy post-aboard?
Speaker 3:Uh-huh, yeah that's and there's no other reason why that had to happen.
Speaker 1:I wish you would have seen my eyes.
Speaker 3:I'm listening, I'm like there's no other reason it had to be in for the plot or the podcast, like there's no other reason why that would happen. I'm like what?
Speaker 1:there's a level of divine timing that's like you think the grass is greener, sometimes not really not like my one of my Relationships.
Speaker 2:as soon as I got out of it, the first guy hooked up with he was so well endowed and I was like wow, like yeah, I've been missing out, like not realizing not everyone is like that, yeah, I just got lucky with the first one.
Speaker 3:You know, I do want to say something I I don't want people to think like oh, I got divorced, yeah, grass is greener. I never, ever ever was doing that and so that I could, the grass is greener. I don't think the grass is greener. I think the grass is green where you freaking water it.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm saying. It's like you don't seem that way. No, I think your point is yes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely it's valid. But yeah, I didn't get divorced because, like, I wanted to like go party and like have fun and like whatever experience that. But yeah, the grass is not. The grass is green where you water it.
Speaker 2:Maybe not the broken dick.
Speaker 3:I was trash garbage. Yeah minute I left I was like block I don't even know like that was and I was like you know what? That's cool. That's the plot it had to have been. I don't know, that was crazy.
Speaker 2:You can throw some water on it, but I don't think it's gonna fix it.
Speaker 1:I'm like another Viagra.
Speaker 3:Oh, I know, I just being him where I was like we're gonna be cool friends this weekend, like we're not. And I wasn't in my villain era like from like hug to like I was like like you, dapp them up, yeah.
Speaker 3:I wasn't not in my villain era. I was so nice like this. If that happened now, I'd be like pounce and bro, I'm doing a solo trip in New York. We had like two days left. So I was like, and luckily we had separate hotels, thank goodness. I was like alright, um, so go home, I'll see you in the morning, because we have like some tourist things to hit like. I was still like, I was so nice, yeah, and I hung out with him the whole weekend like as friends, because I was like this is freaking weird. Yeah, we like didn't vibe at all, it was just. It was like I like.
Speaker 2:I like I've said villain era, though, because sure, sometimes I'm like, yeah, I'm in my villain. Good, yeah, am I really in my villain era? No, or am I just having boundaries?
Speaker 3:It's bad one not in your villain era. It's just, you have boundaries. Yeah, I just was so nice, I was like, oh, that was uncomfortable. Okay, we're gonna compartmentalize that and we're gonna. We have that. You know, we have all these things that we need to hit ice if you need.
Speaker 2:It's nice that, like you, had your own hotel room.
Speaker 3:Thank, goodness, thank goodness, I yeah that's if you're ever gonna travel for like a person you need your space, like I don't know.
Speaker 1:If things get weird, you just don't know what you're walking in on.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that was just a dumb judgment call, like on me. I think I was just like, oh, that would be fun, no, at the same time.
Speaker 1:It's like I know people that have met out with other people in another city.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like state and they stay with that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, no I think you made the right move someone gentlemanly, if they can afford to and they should they should they absolutely you want me to come, which I'm also down.
Speaker 3:I like to come hang out, but I love to travel. But, yeah, no, I, I have to have my own yeah, that's like a mutual respect kind of yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's like one of those learning moments for me where I'm like, if I ever am in that scenario, you have to, I would offer that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I need to, yeah and it's just weird, like cohabiting, like you got a poop, see at some point, like you know it's too close. It's too close, just like. Give me my own space, yeah, are you.
Speaker 2:I'm weird about like personal space. I don't know if you are, but like there's a guy I've been dating. He took me on two dates okay and he's like trying to come over tonight and like hang out, Like he's like I want to do something chill.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, Well we know what that means.
Speaker 2:Me like, literally, I feel like someone coming into my space is the same as them coming inside me, because it's so like my Person. Yeah bubble for you.
Speaker 3:I would rather have them at my house, though, than going away. It's cuz this makes me more comfortable.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, more safe, yeah, yeah and then I guess it's so funny you both bring this up right, like you talk about what makes you feel safe. You talk about kind of like you're limited or you're just boundaries in general. Do you think you choose your partners the same way that you did before you were married, or I differently after divorce.
Speaker 3:I feel like I I'm very self-aware. I've done a lot of healing in their work. There's still some childhood stuff that I'm trying to work through. Yeah, I have noticed that I'm attracting emotionally unavailable people, and that brings me to pause and wonder if I'm actually emotionally unavailable or it's the universe being like you still haven't you sell some childhood wounds. You are not going to get people that are I. Sometimes I'm like damn.
Speaker 3:I'm being like divinely protected, because things are just not working out for sure, and I'm like, okay, yeah, yeah, I'm a track I'm not attracting. I'm aware I don't want that. I can see it in partners and I'm like I'm not repeating cycles, I'm not gonna do that. Yeah, there's. You know, I've come way too far to like settle or to be in the same situation. I'm not gonna do that. Yeah, but I am attracting weird on it emotionally unavailable guys I. So if you're emotionally unavailable and you have Don't DM her. No yummy, All heal real fast.
Speaker 2:Did they say that, like who you're dating sometimes is like a reflection of how you see yourself For sure. So I mean I've had the same situation happen where I'm like am I loving ourselves? I don't think so, because if you look at you and I, I feel like we're both women who do pour into ourselves. All the time, so I don't think it's that we're not emotionally available.
Speaker 3:I'm aware I have childhood wounds of wanting to be chosen. Okay, and so I. Dear brothers and sisters, yes, yeah, but it's very interesting. They don't have the same experience growing up as I do. I think I just was different and so you know.
Speaker 1:And you were the oldest.
Speaker 3:And yeah, and now, as a parent, I realize you don't have a blueprint or manual, no, so but you were the lesson child. Yeah, yeah. So I want to be chosen and I find that or I like want to be like fought for almost, and I realize where that's coming from. It's more of like an anxious attachment style because it's like a childhood wound. So I'm trying to be more secure.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's kind of feminine, though it is.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is yeah. It is Because we don't want to be the pursuers, like we want a man to choose us you want to be courted.
Speaker 3:Exactly I want to be courted. But I do realize that, like, relationships are a mirror. So I'm like okay, you really want a guy to choose you. You're not choosing yourself. So how does that look like? How can I turn inward and choose myself?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think that's, and still meet somebody.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like right now, it's like I'm still just trying to work on. Like you know, I choose you, jen, I choose you. I'm trying to repeat to myself like I choose you, like you're freaking awesome, like you know, things like that, but I think they're a mirror, like so.
Speaker 1:I remember when I was a kid I would always like I was oddly like introspective and I would look at things just very differently.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I would always look and like have you either of you seen those couples that walk around and you're like, okay, one person is blatantly attractive and the other person is blatantly not attractive.
Speaker 3:I know I never want to be in a couple like that. I want to be like I want them to be, like damn, and then sometimes.
Speaker 2:Barbie and Ken.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, how are couple lives.
Speaker 1:I'm like is that person either that confident in themselves or is the other person that? Do they lack confidence in themselves that much that they have?
Speaker 3:to. I think it's an energy, it's physical. I think it's an energy thing.
Speaker 1:I hear you, I hear you. That's kind of why, where I asked the question, I'm asking Well, it's almost like pretty privilege, does it connect?
Speaker 2:To right, we don't choose these human flesh cells right. So it's like if you're attracted to someone's energy, like even Jen's energy is so beautiful, like you can just feel it. Thank you, it's radiant.
Speaker 3:I had the last guy I dated. I learned a lot from him. He was more in his masculine. He our culturally were so different it would have never worked out, but I really appreciated that he was in his masculine. And one thing that he would compliment me on and, like you know, like we would have sexy stuff but like he would never compliment me over text on my body. He would always be like I miss your energy and that to me is like a top tier compliment. I want that, like I love that. I'm like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:That's awesome.
Speaker 3:But I think it's an energy thing and yeah, I mean, or I don't know.
Speaker 2:It is fascinating, though, like if you'll see, like someone like that's so attractive, with someone that's kind of like average, and you're like how did you get?
Speaker 1:them. But it's like everyone has different kind of thing, like I could never be with someone I'm not physically attracted to but maybe someone could like I don't know Like yeah, it's like something to ponder on Cause, like, when I look at it even from childhood to being an adult, I'm just sometimes I'm like that's too much to think about. I don't want to look that way anymore.
Speaker 2:It depends on what you're looking for, like if I just wanted a husband. I could go get a husband.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I wanted a soul mate With that. Sexual compatibility is different, right?
Speaker 3:I also think like it's. I try to give grace because, like for me as a mom, like I'm a little bit insecure about like just my body will never be unless I have surgery to fix it, which I have had, like my boobs fixed, which is great, but like my stomach, it's always a little bit and I'm waiting, I'm holding out because I don't want to have that and like I want to see how my life plays out and if I get the opportunity to have a baby again, I'll do that and then get it fixed.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, that's smart.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but.
Speaker 1:I'm sure that could have complications.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think it just get crazy and so, but it is like I do get insecure because, you know, look like I am ultimately a mom. I work so freaking hard, like I always say, like moms or milfs can never stay complacent, because then they just become moms, yeah, which is fine, but I'm trying to work out my body, but no matter what, like I've had babies, so my skin's always gonna be a little bit like you know, on my stomach, which is fine. But yeah, I'm always like okay, I would hope that you would give me grace. Like I work as hard as I can on my body. For the same time, like I have had babies, I'm not gonna be like a hot 24 year old model, you know, sure.
Speaker 2:Do you feel like a cause? I feel this personally like a competitiveness, almost as I started to age into my like later twenties. A little bit I'm like oh shit, Like I can't keep up with these, like 22 year olds anymore, and it's like a little. It's kind of a mind fuck it is. Watching yourself age as a woman and then still be trying to date and find your person.
Speaker 1:As a male too. It's like it's real.
Speaker 2:Roger, you're so pretty, I'm like yeah.
Speaker 3:Roger it's so rude. How do you wake up in the morning Like it's kind of rude? She knows.
Speaker 1:I'm very ritualistic and routine. But it's like a lot of things you're both bringing up where it's like that competitive spirit. I have that.
Speaker 3:Like.
Speaker 1:I'm very competitive. And then also the things I know I'm not gonna have that same lusty look that I did when I was younger but, there's certain qualities and things that I can really focus on and put my energy into where I'm like I can do something about it yeah.
Speaker 3:I was gonna say I am a big fan of doing anything cosmetic that you want to. I try to keep it really natural, cause I think whenever you pour your into yourself, like the universe rewards you Like yeah, like if you want it. I'm a huge fan of Botox. I think it's amazing. However, I will say I have an energy healer in Vegas and she's like you know, you can talk back to that voice in your head, right, and I was like what?
Speaker 2:Don't fuck me up.
Speaker 3:So now, when I'm like, oh, I'm like this, I'm like shut the fuck up, like I'll just be, like what do you mean? And I'm like stop it, because I think like if you really go down that rabbit hole of like feeling that like competitive cause we're gonna age, it's so good.
Speaker 3:It's like yeah, stop it. And I've been trying to catch myself like now. No, because I think if you have the energy of like deep self love, you're like, I'm confident in who I am and what I have to offer. Like, yeah, like the younger ones, but they don't have the wisdom of like and the emotional intelligence you know. So it's like you do offer aging is good.
Speaker 2:There's something. There's something Get some Botox About being a woman and not being a girl.
Speaker 3:Exactly.
Speaker 2:And like loving yourself a little bit more each year that comes with it.
Speaker 3:And I think also it's hard embracing like woman's body compared to being a girl's body. So you see these really hot young girls but you're like, oh man, like you haven't kind of transitioned into that woman body and that's a level of self love and acceptance that you need.
Speaker 1:But it shows up in other places in your life too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that woman body is almost hotter though.
Speaker 3:I would hope. So I mean like look, I got some curves, like yeah.
Speaker 1:It's, I think, as a guy to offer the answer. I think there's a version to the answer where it's like it's sadistic, If you really do love and like, focus your energy on that younger looking body and image Versus like hey, sometimes things happen. Where like you meet somebody, it is what it is.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Age gaps happen, right. But then there's a version of, yes, what you just said with self love and what you talk about with the version of competition and just really working on yourself. When you see a mature woman in her power, that is, I mean, that's a thing of like radiant energy that you walk away and you don't forget. So it's like you have an interaction with that person and even if you don't interact with that person, you just you get a smell of their perfume, whatever it is, and when you come across that person, you don't forget. So a woman in her powers is a woman. That is like you control the game.
Speaker 3:The game doesn't control you. But I will say, as a woman, like we've been conditioned to hate ourselves, like by society. So no matter, even if we're in our power, we have to fight those voices, because it's always gonna come up.
Speaker 1:The talking back is huge, like I think, that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she finally was like you know, you can actually talk back to that voice, right? And if you have to be so aggressive and be like shut the fuck up, you stupid bitch, like I don't care what it is, but like it immediately is like oh, okay, yeah yeah, that's what's hard, too, about like being single and really sitting with yourself in your own thoughts.
Speaker 2:You start being like self aware of some of the negative shit that like comes up too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but like as a again as a woman, like we've been conditioned to hate ourselves. You know, I'm in the beauty industry too. It's like that. You know which is?
Speaker 1:tough, yeah, it is yeah, so. It's almost like how many times a day does somebody say hey, look at this picture, I wanna look like this?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I'm like what do you love about it? Because that girl is a size zero and she's six feet tall and all that space A model yeah, I'm like I can give you extensions, like what you know. I know it's a little twisted.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I think there was one thing I wanted to ask you. Yeah, if there's anything you could tell your younger self, like when you were in your 20s, like what would it be?
Speaker 3:Even in my 20s, I feel like my you are enough. You are enough. I think that's always been the theme like you are enough. And just because you are different than your tribe does not make you crazy or not good enough. You were planted to shake things up and sometimes that's an isolating journey and that's okay. But you're gonna make it and it's gonna be okay.
Speaker 1:Love that, love that, and then I guess I'll follow up with that on a question we like to ask all our guests like what's the biggest misconception about you that you would love to offer clarity towards.
Speaker 3:I look a certain way, but I am not that way. I think you would look at me and think like I'm just, I'm extremely down to earth and I think it's because I grew up ugly. I don't know, no, I just my personality is like a lot more like down to earth. I'm very warm Maybe you can see that from my social media, but it's funny. Like I just would have people like oh, they think I'm a certain way, or like I'm like a, like a rich housewife I'm like what.
Speaker 3:Like no, I'm just like no, not at all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I think maybe my looks I'm, I don't know, maybe no, I mean, and that's it's a moment to all like, this is your stage, so it's a moment where you get to reflect back and somebody ever asks you the question in the future. You're like, hey, I was on in the lobby and they'll listen in on episode eight, my favorite pod.
Speaker 2:Well, it's interesting to like Instagram effect, though, too. I've noticed that people will judge you a certain way based on Instagram, and it's so annoying Cause if you didn't have that, they wouldn't, judge you based on that.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:Only the people that met you in person could perceive you. So there is this weird perception.
Speaker 1:It's like a fetish though. Like people like fetish over it, Do they? There's guys that like.
Speaker 2:Oh, fetish over. It's almost like AI yeah.
Speaker 1:There's guys that fetish over you girls Cause you're not getting the real person.
Speaker 2:It's like those half naked girls on Instagram. It's like what that's not even.
Speaker 3:Okay, let's talk about that for two seconds. I think it's a huge red flag. With a guy that I'm dating, I find I will look at who he's following on Instagram and if you're following like only and don't get me wrong, you do you. I love a good only fans. I do lots of industry girls, get it, girl, get it sis. I just don't want the guy I'm dating to follow a bunch of them. But I think it's a big red flag If they are following a bunch of these hot model girls.
Speaker 2:I think it's big green flag If they have no social media? Absolutely, absolutely. That's kind of unfair for me to say, cause I do have Instagram and there's been people I've dated where, if they were like, get rid of your social media entirely. Because, we want to do this together.
Speaker 3:I would, oh, you would I would never Really, only because I think it's tied to our business. And I'm like don't stifle my business. You know what I mean. But if you look at my following, I'm not following a bunch of dudes, so I'm following creatives. I'm following hairstylists Like I'm following friends. Yeah, I follow some guys, but it's not like that. So I don't know. I just think you and I are rostered girls.
Speaker 2:We're not rostered. I'm a lover girl, that's true. I don't know what it looks like for the other women on there, but there's some, I mean for me.
Speaker 1:I know I've dated some people that do care heavily, Like they live and breathe checking my followers and then so much so, where I was off for years, like two, three years.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because it's just not worth the fight.
Speaker 3:No, it's not.
Speaker 1:But at the same time, I can agree with both of you where there's boundaries that are able to be respected and there's things where it's like there's certain things that are uncalled for. Totally, yes, like things here and there, but if you look at it as like there's 200 likes you're looking at and if everyone is an OnlyFans girl or someone that this guy doesn't know you like?
Speaker 3:come on, have a healthy balance of like equal men and equal women. That's cool Because I like stuff there, of course.
Speaker 1:I think we talked about this the other day. Like I will scroll and there's stuff I like I'm like you should probably not Not do that. Do that Just out of respect, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And it's normal to think like girls are hot, like, yeah, it's normal to be in a relationship and think at the other side. It's just do you care about your relationship enough to have respect for that partner? Absolutely. And you just make decisions based on that.
Speaker 1:It's active.
Speaker 2:Well even in a friendship. When I first met Roger, he didn't have social media and, as a woman looking at a man like that, I was like I respect the fact that this man is not, and I feel that because I'm the one that pulled him. I was like, look, you need to be on Instagram or the podcast, but there is something attractive about people who are not on social media.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. But it's also like we exchange messages, like will text and will DM, and we just always talk in various communication platforms and sometimes she'll message me so like great, so many great things on Instagram and I literally don't check for days hours because I just I don't think to go on there.
Speaker 3:I think that's a good, that's a green flag.
Speaker 1:I just don't, I really don't.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'll text her back sometimes before I reply to a DM.
Speaker 3:Well, that's why, if you like need them, you're like text them, yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:But should we do our close up? Yeah, that's so funny Because we definitely want our audience to come back. This has been an amazing episode.
Speaker 3:Thanks for having me, you guys.
Speaker 1:You are just radiant energy Great person.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 1:Really mesh well with us.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I feel like. I feel like we've made a lifelong friend, yes, oh my gosh Like we're going to.
Speaker 3:there's no doubt in my mind that we're going to collaborate.
Speaker 1:You're not a part of our network. You're a part of our ourselves.
Speaker 3:Literally. Yeah, literally will be in a chat with us Like yeah, it's bigger than anything.
Speaker 1:Like we are connected to you, we love it we're just a good human. Oh sorry, I think the world should know that, and hopefully this episode does that I hope so, and we want the rest of the audience to know to come back for our next episode.
Speaker 3:In the lobby baby.
Speaker 1:In the lobby Because they know it's going down.
Speaker 3:We should do another episode at the end of this year and see how like Austin dating has been. Oh, yeah, yeah and then we have to.
Speaker 2:We always say this and I think this is bad. I think I need to stop saying this but where can people go to stalk you on like social media? Yes, I'm going to get I feel like I can't say the stock thing, but it's not Stock me actually, if you're hot, it's social media stock.
Speaker 1:I think that's fair.
Speaker 3:So my personal Instagram is Jen Kroosha Haer J-E-N-N-C-R-O-S-H-A-W. It's a personal and hair photos. I can't keep up, I can't separate things, so I just do like a life in hair. That's like my personal. But my podcast is Gen Z podcast J-E-N-N-Z podcast. I'm a 2N, jen. I have a theory on 2N it's one for nice and one for naughty.
Speaker 2:I love that yeah.
Speaker 1:So what's new?
Speaker 2:is because we've done the collab. People will have this episode in the lobby and then we'll have another episode on Gen Z.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There's a version of like listening in here listening in there.
Speaker 3:Yes, it was so fun.
Speaker 1:Yes, and like we're going to get some good stuff.
Speaker 3:Yeah Well, thank you so much. Oh my gosh, thanks for having you guys. I adore you.
Speaker 1:This is awesome.
Speaker 3:This is just the beginning.
Speaker 1:I love it.
