Segment Finding Beauty in your scars with Host HelenZanele - Embracing the Journey of healing

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:07

Let me greet my my listening twist. Hey everyone, welcome to our segment of finding beauty in your skies and unspoken truth family. This is your beautiful host, Helen Zanelli Chico. Remember, this is a safe place where we share our pain, our past traumas without judging each other. So I'm so excited today. Um now alone. I'm interviewing my gorgeous, gorgeous, my loud, my amazing sister. She's going to introduce herself. Hi, Sid Mo. Hi. Excited for this introduction.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

I'm good. Hi to your listeners. Can you hear me? My voice is a bit. Okay. Um, I've been away at a team building um strategic conference this week. So it included a lot of activities, a lot of shouting, of course, screaming. Yeah, so my voice is 52 tapping out, but we can get through this.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Please drink drink hot water because please, if you can't, your voice can't fail me right now. No, no, no, no. No, we're good to go for now. We're good to go. We're good to go. Please tell my listeners who's Molly, who's this gorgeous lady behind this wonderful voice.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

So Molly is wow. Molly is an MC, Molly is an aspiring um voice over artist. Molly is a hostess, Molly is a facilitator and a learning author. And yeah, Molly is just um um a God-fearing woman who is on a journey with God and who's on a journey to heal and just taking it one day at a time.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

That's true, and also guys, she's my prayer partner at Jesus Gilgun. She's my partner. The reason why sis mole, I asked to interview you. I'm your silently cheerleader. Now I'm taking out my secrets, I'm silently praying for you and rooting for you. And I'm like, okay, I see her. She's out there doing her thing, emptying, doing voiceover, always she's out committing building, she's she's she's she's securing the bad guys, you know. And I don't know the deep molly, you know. And since it's the month of June, it's it's a youth month, I would love young people to learn a few things from you, how to overcome your fears, how to move away from the pain that you heard while you were growing up, your childhood trauma, and and and like I just want you to put us in your shoes, Wednesday. Like, what happened? How did you overcome your pains, your frustration? How did you overcome your fears? Like, just take us through your journey to be where you are today. Sure, I know how long do we have? We have an hour or so.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

Okay, good. Um, I'm up for it, but we're gonna have to break it down into segments because I feel like when you're having a conversation with a person that is over the age of 30, yeah, they have lived a life and a half and to compartmentalize everything that has happened, you know. And sometimes there's a lot that we've gone through that we have forgotten about because we have decided to block it out. Um, but the the the the phenomenal thing, I'll always say the the human brain is a is a beautiful thing, it's phenomenal. Um, we try we block it out, right? In our minds, because we try and forget about it. But the reason why we experience things like triggers as humans is because the heart it doesn't forget. So that's why we'll find sometimes you will be in your 30s, living your best life, and you will suddenly be triggered by something that reminds you of a traumatic incident that you suffered or went through in your childhood years, you know, when you were still like five or whatever, and then you find yourself breaking down as this whole put-together person. You literally break down because um you don't have a way or mechanism of dealing with or surviving that because you thought it was gone, you know. Yeah, you you you thought if you didn't have to think about you know what what was done to you, how it made you feel, and you know, the people that did it, you know, you thought it was okay, but all of a sudden, you know, you life punches you in the face, then you get triggered again, and it reminds you that okay, it's fine, you are out here acting, you're acting like God, we're not trying to forget people and block them out, but we miss the fundamental element of healing, and I feel like as a society, we literally don't understand the process of healing because in order to come out of a situation or to change something, we easily step into how do I get over this, but we don't want to go through this because the going through is the healing part because that's what comes with acknowledging the pain and facing it head on, acknowledging the emotions that it comes with and facing it head on, and when once you do that, you know, um, it means you get to a point where you are able to speak about the situation, you're able to relay it to someone else, and you are able to do so without crying, and then you know that you have healed.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

So, how do you how did you um discover that you are healed from certain parts that you went through in your journey of healing?

SPEAKER_01 7:10

I feel like I'm not even healed, okay? Yes, I'm not healed yet. I put a yes because I think I want to take it as a work in progress. Um that's why I'm saying I'm a person who is on a journey with God. Yeah, because God was introduced, God and Christianity was introduced to me in a certain way when I was very young, you know. And Sunday schooly, you know, and um I never really understood the core concept or functionality of this amazing belief and and and and and relationship with God and how it can work for me. Because I then grew up and became a teenager. I went to high school and and there were challenges that I would face, but you know, because of not understanding this that I'm walking with and how it can work with work for me, you know. Um, so there's a lot of things that have happened that have even made me want to give up on my faith and be like our God, but no, can't he? When Utanda Banja, you know, and yeah, you know, so I feel like and I'm literally in a space in my life right now, which is a very I I'm I'm not sure if I can say fulfilling, but I'm very content with where I am right now. Oh I am I'm I'm learning, I'm learning to heal, you know. I'm learning to face those things that happened that I ignored. I'm learning to stop and feel the emotion. I'm learning to cry when I need to cry. I'm learning to scream when I need to scream because sometimes you just need to let it out, like yo, yes, yes, molecular, please. But more than it's very it's very magnificent what God is doing because more than anything, I'm learning to forgive. Oh, I was about to come there, yes, and forgiveness now in our levels, why? Because that's true, I could and then you know I realized this was wrong, whatever. Yeah, and then you you forgive them. But the kind of forgiveness I'm dealing with right now is forgiveness of people that never ever came back to us for us for forgiveness, for people that never ever knew or thought or saw themselves as wrong, for people that broke me, you know, and still came back to me and expected me to accept them and love them and welcome them. So all these hurts when they build up, so as a person that has been exposed to the Christian journey, all these hurts when they build up and these things keep happening, like all these things they keep happening. You get to a point where you're like, No, man, God, come on now, you know. What's what's going on? What are we doing? You know, why are we not blocking some of these things out? Why am I getting so many all at once? Yeah, you're like, God, why why me like why make me? Yeah, like why mean uh like number two? God gives the strongest soldiers. Why mean I'm telling you, strongest soldier, Jalo?

SPEAKER_02 10:55

You know, I hear you.

SPEAKER_01 10:57

So um got to a point where at some point for a long time, I literally I even stopped going to church. I literally I couldn't pray, and not because being another voice, but because when I opened my mouth, I didn't know what to say. Because when I thought about the amount of pain that I'd been through, you know, over and over, and how people hurt me, and yet, and funny enough, that's why I could say yes, God, and funny enough, when the people still come back to you, yeah, we are there isn't even like that feeling of resentment. I resent you because I hate you because you did this to me. Instead, we are Mamgela, you know, it's just so I'm currently in that phase where I am literally, I feel like I am I am proactively healing because I've decided I've made a conscious decision to, and I am choosing every day to be consistent in making efforts and sticking to my healing.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

But um have you ever forgiven um what she has allowed or for what she's still allowing in her personal space, especially when it comes to forgiveness and in her journey of healing?

SPEAKER_01 12:34

So I feel like forgiving umoli that's where it all started. Um, because we make a lot of jokes about how um, as black people, I would never waste my money and go to a therapist. You know, we just we make a lot of jokes about things like that. But that's true, yeah. But when you're actually thinking about the whole process, I cannot begin to forgive Uzanele if I have not forgiven Umoli. As much as Uzanele had wronged Umoli, but Umoli has wronged Umoli also in certain ways. And as soon as I acknowledge my part, and this is where we fail as humans, we fail to acknowledge the part that we play in our pain. We owe ourselves, but we fail to take responsibility. If you buy something, a store, and they promise you that this product does this and it does this and it does this, and you get home and you find that that product again is two of the things that they say it does. First thing the next day, as soon as that store opens, you are in store, you are returning it, you are complaining, you want your money back. You know, you are upset because it doesn't do what they said it would do. But when do we look in the mirror and talk to yourself about not doing what you're supposed to be doing? When do we take accountability and responsibility for self? When do we see that we owe ourselves half the things that we go out and look for in the world? We owe it to ourselves, but we don't give it to ourselves and you go out and look for it in the world. So forgiving Umoli is a first step that I took in this healing journey because I had to forgive Umoli because I had to go back to that little girl and realize those dreams that she had and the things that she wanted to do, you know. And I had to apologize to that little girl where I had gone astray in those things that we had wanted to do, you know, where I had let the world crush me, where I had let people break me down, where I had let people make me feel like my dreams were invalid. I had to go back and say to that girl, Han, I'm sorry, you know. We were young and are you let's do this.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

I think as you as you are mentioning it, I think I'm just picking up Uti healing the inner child first. Um is a first step for you to your journey of healing, you know, because you are not only doing it for yourself, but you are doing it for for your kids, especially if unumduana. It's like you are breaking generational curses when you are healing your inner child. So you mentioning that, it's uh you just made me to realize, Uzi, dealing with the younger Molly or the younger Zaneli, it has just opened a lot of parts where you're like, okay, I need to heal this, okay, I need to go and make myself better there. I I just love that part for you to say that, you know, I think we can learn from it, Uzi. We just need not only say, Uzi, my mother did that, but what part did I play to also contribute in what I'm feeling currently, the pain that I'm feeling currently? Wow, the journey of healing, it's not that easy.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

It is not at all.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

Yeah, it's not that easy. Let's say, um, for example, there's a young girl and not in a very friendly environment, you know. Why am I mentioning this? We are on a youth month, you know. Um, we're coming across a lot of young women or young men. Let me say young men or women who are trying to commit suicide because they don't get enough support from their families, or their mothers are just mistreating them, especially on TikTok, on social media. I just saw something last week. A lady um Facebook, I think um telling a mother or um kappen or something, she's been mistreating her for some years. Let's say the mother decides to come back and build a relationship, but this lady doesn't want to build a relationship with no mawake or what can you tell that young woman, especially people that always say family, it's you know, but other people that don't believe would say family, it's it's only blood. Do you agree to that statement or not? We are still talking about feeling. I agree, I agree.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

Um okay, so we can two. Um so I agree to the statement that family is not only biological, right? In terms of you have people, you can have people that you are not related to that can treat you well and love you and support you and be there for you, you know, and be consistent in doing so. And then you'll have the people that you are related to by blood, you know, that don't even care. That will hear that you are sick, but will not even take five minutes to come and see you. That will not support you, be not even but financially, but give you moral support, like be there for you. But we say you know, so with that statement, I believe it. I can go, I can go into the world and I I I feel good. The reason why is because I am a living testimony to it. Uh, my friend always says, Uguti, I have a grace, that's true. That's true, and for me, I feel like it's one of the ways God saw fit Uguti in Zokona to survive some of the things that I went through, and maybe I'm yet still to go through in life. Because so going back to your story, um, it is very funny with my personal experience with my mom, um, where there was just constant struggle and tension and and fighting, and to a point where I literally felt like there is no way this woman could have given birth to me. There's no ways she could have given birth to me because I feel like it is impossible for her to love me. Sure. And yet I can go to my friends' houses. I have two very close friends. At any time, whether they are there or not, their mothers will welcome me, will Yazi, they will, they will attend to me, they will, they are supportive of me. When I go to them, assistance with anything, they are willing to listen, they are willing to help. It's just I feel like God wanted me to see Uguti. Yeah, I hear you, and it's being unconditional, which means it is not tied to a particular person. It means you can go out into the world, and any person that has been created by God can love you. I got to learn that I can get a mother's love, not particularly from the mother that gave birth to me, but from the people in my life that have it all. However, in my healing process, because I do did need to go back, I never discarded my mom for the longest time, for a lot of years, I chose to ignore the tension in our relationship, and I made no effort into working on it, I made no effort into trying to fix it because I felt like it was better this way, and then it goes back to the Bible. And I love A by B. I usually learn it's I just can't read Zulu very well, but you know, we try. It's simple. I eat him so nipe if they spoil you and they give you an allowance and they buy you everything. I eat him on yoga if I got poozy. Sonny put on yoga if we are called if. It does not give conditions, no, it is a simple instruction. And all you need to do in that is just respect. I hear you. So it brought me back to say, I needed to start to understand Uguzi. Sometimes there's people we became in certain ways because we have become conditioned. When you understand that there are people that have been raised with love, and there are people that have been raised with survival. Those two people are two different entire things. Because longy uya lazuta, we are in touch emotions, because it's a waste of time. It's into irrelevant way. If lente ups, you can't get a lot of people, or in foggy plaster, and life goes on. So from being too in touch with emotions to being not even acknowledging my emotions, two different kinds of people. So I had to realize maybe she can't love me the way I want to be loved because she was never loved that way. So maybe the way she was raised never gave her the opportunity to experience Lotano Lolumina, expect her as her child. So it took me acknowledging that maybe she is not like this because she chooses to be like this, but this because she doesn't know any better. So Mina as my mother, and as per the instruction in the word of God, I have to respect her. Even if it means I don't love her, but I have to respect her because she's your mother, and God does. Um I always laugh sometimes because I always say I want a sense of humor.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

We are the first person of humor this week.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

I think this I got this sense. Yeah. When you follow the basic instruction of respecting this person, so I got to a point where I literally detached my feelings when dealing with this person, and I just doubt with her from the point of my team, you know, without attaching any emotions, without having any expectancies of a hug or expectancies of chala mutual, I'm proud of you, or I I I just I stopped having expectations and I just did what I needed to do. You know, that's it. But dealer with the person in the form of you will find that what gradually starts to happen, will will change the feelings you have towards this person. Respect builds love, yes, yes, it doesn't happen overnight, it happens gradually over time. Gota, you start to to to ukum sandar and the way you treat them now becomes influenced by how you feel about them. But you know, I experienced so much love with my mother in these years. So when I chose to engage in that way, Yoguti, yes, she might have hurt me, yes, she might have done this, yes, I might be upset, I might feel that I don't want a relationship with her because of this reason, what, what, what, what, what. But Xoni Penny is illicit because she's my mother, and another thing we don't realize is that as much as they hurt us, we have become so entitled to who people succumbing to if we think something is right or what is wrong, but we don't realize what he has their own thoughts, their own feelings, they were raised in their own ways. And sis, where in the history have we seen or heard what Abazali Belakolisa But it but it's a it's a how can I call it it's a culture that needs to change, though it does, but that change will come with us. We will be transparent because we know better now. So that is why when we are raising our kids, we don't have to put them through what our parents put us through. We have to be different, we have to address situations differently. We have to, you know, sometimes I look at when I speak to my son, and then I'll think, I feel like the way I dealt with that situation, that is exactly how my mom would have dealt with it. And I can't be like that. I can't be like that. Then I'll go back and and try to remedy the situation and do things differently. So as much as I'm saying, yes, our parents can hurt us, take the time out that you need to heal, but when you are healing, push your off our prayers in tonight because at the end of the day, our blessings, those are the blessings. Our blessings are in their hands, and if your parents can't speak a blessing over your life, you will never get that blessing ever again. No matter all, you can slaughter all the sheep, all the goats, all the chickens in the whole world, you will never get that blessing again. So, kwa ta hurt, dealer, healer, but come back to the reality. As long as you know, as long as it's the parents that gave birth to you, no matter what they do to you, because you just hit a nerve, it just you're not talking about mother's my relationship with my mother, it's not that good.

SPEAKER_02 29:24

So you think like she gets into my last nerve, and you saying that you just making me to say no, my name. Maybe that's why you think it's just not handy at it because of that. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

Because I actually start to see I I I start to appreciate my mom. I'll do the little things for her. Sometimes I just send her 100 grand or just meet and say, Mm, man, do you need anything? I see her, I think I'll get her bread or whatever. And every time I do just even like a little thing, and she'll say, Thank you so much, Molly. God must bless you, you know. And sometimes she'll say, You know, I release a blessing over you and over your over your your job. My God. And the things like that, we can take them for granted, but for me, I'm beginning to realize the value of those things, you know. Yeah. For her to seek such a blessing. Do you understand? So, and I never thought in my life, if I look back a few years from now, I never would have thought we could get to such a place with my mom.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

So, do you think she's um noticing her mistakes? She's coming around and wanting to make things happy with me.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

I think it might not even be that she's noticing her mistakes, but I feel like me now, I'm becoming um because then I told you she's just living the way she's always lived, right? But Mina, because um, I would complain and say, Yeah, but you know, when you do this, I feel like you don't love me, I feel like you hate me, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like because they are feeling about children. We feel, feel, feel, you know. So I think somewhere along the line, Jay, it would um yeah, we because there was a point where I was once admitted for I think it was about yeah, it was I was on the two-week program, I was admitted for depression and anxiety. And I feel like it bothered her, Uusi. Why would it need to get so severe to an instance of Usi kneezing at me today, and she doesn't even know what I'm dealing with or half the things I'm going through, you know? Yeah. So she would come and I said, she would religiously come and visit me. But while I would notice Jalum, she would she would browse through my file because we had a file. Yeah, we had a file that we worked on. So when we had our group sessions, when we did activities, when we were writing notes or whatever, it would be in the file. So every time Magazine, she wanted to know what we did a day, you know. So she would just take the file and and Mina in my sessions, I would. Well, the one thing I told myself is that I've gotten to this place now, and for me to refocus and start healing and start moving to the right direction, I need to be completely honest with myself. And I'm not here to buy face, I'm here to, I'm here for my own healing. So in my sessions, I was completely honest. When we had to write things down about how I felt about what I would write it out exactly how I felt. So when she was leaving that file, she was getting the the the core of my real feelings. So even though she never read and confronted me about it afterwards, but she knows she read it and she knew. She knew. So that's why Gitty, as much as you're saying Gutti, she's she's she she's trying to fix, make up for her mistakes, you know, or maybe she's trying to do better, you know. It's possible, it's possible that you know, maybe now that she knows what am I sensitive to, what are the things I don't like, or whatever, you know. Um she will she is doing better, you know. I think one of the things also, so my mom was my worst critic, especially when it comes to my weight. Because I've never been, I've never been like me, a small child, I've never been a wonder, you know. So she would say the meanest things, like they were so horrible. Oh my god, Molly, and sometimes you say you say it's normal. I mean that even if it was to a person in your guy or a person that's my enemy, you will never get to that state of the emotional. I would never think like that, exactly. You know, so how can my man, my own man, but then I got to um understand as I'm growing that sometimes some of the things are because young's on, but maybe I would I quickly pay attention to it, I quickly pay attention to what is being said wrong, what things are here she could have done it, she could have done it better. She could, there's a lot of different ways it could have gone, but because she doesn't know any better, it's okay. I know better, so I will choose not to dwell on that, you know. So that's like it's a sense of humor is very funny because from a child that was broken down the most from the mother that gave birth to her about my weight, but now I my my my self-confidence and self-esteem is out the roof. So tell me about it. You cannot, you can't tell me anything. Listen, putting it if you're trying to hit me. If you're trying to hit me and you and you want to come tell me about my weight, try again. Like give me something else. If you're coming at me, don't come at me about my weight, come at me about something else, then we can talk, you know? Because I will not be moved, I will not cower. I know, I know, I stand firm in knowing who I am and being proud of that. And partly because my dad would always say, just know my mom would shout and she'd say these things, and you know, and as I'm sitting there, my dad would say, You are beautiful, my baby. And I was doing his own makeup, my eyelash, so even like with my body, I would just have myself as long as I am healthy, and as long as I can still find a size and password, you know, I'm life goes on. So now she's she's she's also become one of my cheerleaders, I guess. Um, but I'm just glad. I'm just glad that I I all those things, they never broke me. They never broke me, and I'm just glad that God decided to work that situation out the way that he did. Because now not only am I not broken, and not only am I fully confident, you know, um, but I'm able to help those around me that can't.

SPEAKER_02 37:18

Do you think this whole thing has made you a better a better mother and a better sibling, a better friend and a better colleague? Hey!

SPEAKER_01 37:31

I know I don't know, you know, I don't know if I can say I'm a better mother, a better sibling, a better wife, because sometimes I make decisions and then which I doubt myself. You know, I make decisions which I I question and I make decisions that I go back on. And and sometimes because the emotional intelligence, it doesn't, I have an age, I experience, I mean, you know, and I feel good to me. I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a highly emotional being. So sometimes it's very hard for me to control and curate my emotions when it comes to certain situations. It's gotten it's gotten me in trouble a lot of times. It's gotten me, I've lost friendships, I've lost um relationships with people, you know. I've but I just take it in my stride and I say it's a learning journey. Me now, when something happens, I assess, I acknowledge the part I had to play in it, the mistake I made, I learn from it, I move, you know. Um, whether if you're gonna hold it against me, you're gonna hold me accountable to look to Allah, it's up to you and your God. But Mina, I move, I ask for forgiveness, I forgive myself, and then I move. But I can never say it's making me a better anything. I'm just I'm just a person, man, who's learning because every day, you know, you get to deal with something that you've never dealt with before. So I might now say that I'm a bit I'm a good sibling, I'm a good sister to my brothers, but I don't know what's gonna what might happen tomorrow. And I don't know, I can't stand today and say I will be confident and ready to deal with whatever in Avela because in lias, you know. But I'm just saying, purely by the grace of God, I've been able to survive up to now, you know, and I'm I'm I'm I'm ready to deal with anything that does happen in my stride. I mean, if I falter, the one thing I've learned in my journey as well is oh, Colisa, it's very hard. It's very hard because when you go to a person and you ask them to forgive you, you are not only asking them to forgive you so that you can bend the relationship moving forward, but you are acknowledging and you're accepting and you are saying I was wrong. So as as humans, it's it's it's hard for us to put ourselves in positions where we can say I was wrong. So that's why it is hard for most people to ask for forgiveness because they can't deal with that part assured. I was wrong. However, I am sorry, moving forward, it will not happen again.

SPEAKER_02 40:06

I'm learning something from you today. I told Jillan, I said I only know the Bible modules, I don't know the deep, I don't know why you're hiding the deep one, but please. Because the deep one comes with tears, and I don't want to cry all the time. We we need to cry and move on, says honestly. We need to cry and move on, we need to embrace. That's why when when mangi is an finding beauty in your scars, not just outside scars, but internal scars, you know, as Ushuti, you are learning something from your relationship with your mother, your other relationships with other people who abaku in clean. Like, I'm just listening to you. I'm like, oh Molly, she's been hiding this from us. How cruel of her, how cruel of you to hide that from us. Honestly, this is a beautiful, like, you just you're making me to reflect honestly. Please mentor me to be a better young woman. How are you gonna mentor that young, especially emotionally? Yo, um, she's being bullied by her friends, they keep on saying she's not beautiful. Um, a lot has been happening in Belonia. She got raped and all that, and she's asking you to to to mentor her to help her in the journey of healing while yourself you're also in the journey of healing. How are you gonna deal with that?

SPEAKER_01 41:47

I feel like these words that we use for roles, we use them sometimes without understanding because as you're saying this, I'm thinking back to when I was still young, like very young, before I even had people that would say, Please mentor me, and I'd be like, Yeah, definitely let's do this. And and now I'm looking back and I'm thinking, God forgive me, I failed those people because at that time I didn't even understand the amount of responsibility that comes with that word. Sure. Um, to mentor is to guide, is to support, is to align, is to assist, you know. And I feel like, first of all, I would just it's important also as a person, when you come to a person and say, I would like you to mentor me, you have to come already with a plan to say, This is what I want to achieve, and this is this is where we are going, this is where I want you to help me to get. Then we come together with a plan of okay, this is how we'll do it. But sometimes we just loosely use the term and and we say we want this mentoring, you know, and then it's gonna say penelanti, emoyen. First of all, because Nami, I am a flawed individual that is also on a journey. I would not agree to mentoring the person, but I would agree to assist the hood with the person. Let me be your friend, let me be available, let me be there for you when you want to talk about whatever, whenever. Wake me up at 12, wake me up, call me whenever you are feeling sad. Let's laugh together, let's cry together, let's let's pray together, you know. Let's let's let's go through these challenges and things together in a way that will not only leave you different, but in a way that will leave me different as well. So where I work, I train people. And I always say in the beginning of a training session or beginning of an induction, depending how long it will be, I always say when I start a new training journey, it's it's it's it's it's never one-sided. So it's not only them who are coming into the session to learn and will live different or with certain knowledge they never had before. But each and every training intervention that I go, I embark on is a learning journey for me as well. Because I am learning, I'm dealing with different people all the time, and I'm learning different ways of how to deal with different people all the time. So each and each and every experience, each and every training experience will never be the same. It will never it will never be the same, you know, because the experiences are different, the feelings, the emotions, what we go through is different, you know, in that session. So what we technically what we learn will be different, and what we come out of that session. So I would rather embark on a journey to heal and grow with a person than take the responsibility of mentoring a person and allowing them to fully put the responsibility of their journey on me. Because that's what we do. When we say a person must mentor you, you expect them to work their magic in your life, to come into your life and say, do this, do that, don't do this, do this, let's do it. And yet it is uh it's actually a role that you need to take the full responsibility for, but the person can be there to support you, to align you because they know the goal, they know where we are going, what we're trying to achieve. So when they see that you are falling to the side, they can bring you back because they know what we're trying to do. But if you don't even give me a goal that this is what we're trying to do, then and I can't mentor you. But if you are in a space, like if you're in a dark space, and I always say, I feel that um not only have I been privileged enough to experience God's akape love, I continually experience God's acap in my life, but I feel like He is a He is using me to give other people an experience of Him or His love as well. Um because I give I give healing hugs, you know I give healing hugs, I will hug you in a way that will just take away your stress and your tension and and and your frustrations, you know, even if it's just for a few seconds. I I will hug you in a way that will make you feel warmth and comfort, and even if it's and and love, even if it's just for a few seconds, you know, because you don't know how many people are walking around that have not even been hugged in a week, or in years, let alone a day, let alone Zackie, yes, so I'm a hugger, I say this all the time, and it's so weird because I work in the corporate industry, and you know how corporate everything is so serious, and people will just handshake every. But I feel like everyone up to the CEO in my company just knows that there's that loud girl entering. She will walk up to you, she will hug you. I will walk past my CEO's bodyguards and be like, KGB, how are you? and I'll give him a big hug, smile, greet, walk past, you know, because that's the kind of person I am, and I feel like I'm not gonna change that because there's a reason why God is making me like that, because there are so many people out there that need to experience his love the way I have experienced it. Those people might not be fortunate enough to be able to go into a church and experience it, to be able to find, you know, a spiritual home and experience it, to be able to, but let them, even if it's a second that they meet me, let them experience it in that second. And that's why I say my my goal is to impact lives that when you when you meet me, I can't leave you the same. There has to be something that changes in our interaction. When I come in, we are chatting in the taxi. Whether we but when I I call myself a life changer. So when people say, What do you do?

SPEAKER_02 48:27

I don't say I'm a trainer, I'm a life because I change people's lives, I impart knowledge, I find it, just say it would be I'm Molly the healer, you know, because our healing journey comes in a very different way. Yes, your your your smile every time when I see your patrons when you're smiling, I'm like, oh okay, this is what I needed. When I see your when I hear your loud uh voice recording, I'm like, oh, this so basically it's just a killer, and some of us do have the privilege to be close to you.

SPEAKER_01 49:12

We are very friends to be able to experience it. I've got a friend I laugh all the time. Sometimes you'll just call me and then she'll say something a bit that and I will just laugh. And she says, Thank you. That's all I needed to hear. Enjoy your day. I'm like, you are so weird. You are literally she's like, No, it's fine. That's what I needed. I needed to hear your laugh. Now I'm done. I'm okay.

SPEAKER_02 49:37

No, honestly, it's it's the cool thing, all things that you ever seen, and you know, just people they like to say they love my smile, and I don't know why because I don't even love my smile, but I love to smile. So they're just a beautiful thing, they're it isn't the aswin, as when Zabantu Woodie when they're looking at you, you just you know, just like just like now. I can't wait to finish this recording to listen to it again because what um sis money before in closing, how as a young person who wants to achieve or to be where you are, um how should they overcome their fears?

SPEAKER_01 50:27

Yo, what can you first of all first of all you need to decide. So as a child of God, I have a stern belief that fear and faith cannot coexist. So it's either I have faith or I or equal. One of the two, I can't have both. You know, it's either I'm extremely scared of something or I choose to believe that God will see me through. And with most of the things that I've gone through and I've achieved, and I've put my hand up and I've shakenly gone on stage, and I've shakenly taken the mic, and I've you know, and I've done for the first time, and I've I've always chosen that belief to say, you know what, God, let me do this, but I'm trusting in you to see me through with it. So the very first step is to align and know who are you? If you are a God-fearing child of God, then you decide are you going to let fear exist or are you going to let faith exist? As soon as you decide to let faith exist, you will see that you will do those things that you want to do and more, and more because I go into an experience and I say I have to decide that I will never take anything as a regret. Me, I don't have regrets. I have blessings and I have lessons. If it wasn't a blessing, it was a lesson because I had to learn from it and always go back from the learning, go back for the learning. We say mistakes are good, it's good to make mistakes so you can learn from it. But we don't learn. We don't, we make mistakes and then we move on. But you have to learn from your mistakes, you have to learn from your mistakes so that you can be better as a person, you know. So for me, yes, I'll try it. And what's the worst that can happen? So when you have a fear of faith, uh dilemma, and you decide to choose faith, you know, you you you usually find yourself dealing with or answering questions like, okay, so if I do this, what's the worst that can happen? Will I die? And if the answer is no, then you find yourself actually doing it because if I won't die, then A, I can either be better or B, I can learn something from this fear of unknown, yeah, stopping us from achieving our goals, and that is exactly what the devil uses.

SPEAKER_02 53:04

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_01 53:06

That's exactly what the devil uses.

SPEAKER_02 53:08

He uses fear, he uses it would be what if I fail, what if I don't get it right? He just uses doubt in here, he's just filling you with doubt, yes, so it takes you to know yourself and know who you are and what you want to achieve.

SPEAKER_01 53:27

And most of the time when I do training sessions, especially for uh groups that I'm going to be training over like certain weeks, and I tell them before we start with the training, I want you to tell me what is your why. Why are you doing this? Because we can say I want to work because I want to have money so I can feed my family. Yeah, everyone has an end to uh uh um a need, you know. We we want to do this so we can get this, we have to do this so we can eat, we have to do, but I don't want that, don't give me those reasons. I want your why because there will be days where it's gonna be hard or it's gonna be challenging or it's gonna be difficult, and you will need your why to pull you through to help you wake up in the morning and realize or remember that this is why I'm doing this, and that will be 10 times more important than just getting a salary or just making a living. So it is very important to understand why I am doing this, what drives me, what will give me the phenomenal will, what will make me wake up before my alarm clock, you know. You know what, what why do I want to get this done? And once you realize that as well, that also helps you because I mean sometimes it's all good and well to say, you know, I want to be happy, I just wanna laugh all the time, I just wanna, you know, but sometimes you wake up and life punches you in the face. So what do you do? What do you do? Do you go home and cry, you know, or do you choose to say it's fine, it happened, wipe your tears and then you know, hold your head up and then keep walking. Because we tend to focus a lot on the impact of what has happened and we don't look at what now, because when we do that, that's why the pain lasts longer. Pain is actually temporary, it's meant to be temporary when you give up. That's when you give in to having that thing cause you pain throughout the rest of your life. But when you choose to move on from it, then you've learned, and now you can do things differently.

SPEAKER_02 55:37

Sure, sis Molly. Can we please have more of this from you? Today, what I have learned as you were sharing a train of healing through life, through obstacles. I was writing a few points. The heart does not forget, bindly saying, you know, yeah, um the process of healing. How does it go? Which channel do you have to take for you to heal? You know, the go-through is the healing part. That that one, that one, yeah, it it made me to to go back again. As you're saying, which is the journal healing, it's a process, yes, it comes with segments, it comes with challenges. You also mentioned about forgiveness in order to forgive other people, and you also said we failed to acknowledge our part in our pain. Yeah, you see what I was listening.

SPEAKER_01 56:42

You were you really were you see always I was reading and I was writing how much you really were because I'm actually looking now that we're almost like an hour, and it feels like we've just been having a conversation for five minutes, so I feel like almost you just go into it and into it and into it, and you don't even realize time, and that's why that's where you are releasing certain parts of you, Uguchi.

SPEAKER_02 57:14

Actually, I didn't know Uguchi, I can tackle this, I didn't know Uguchi, I can overcome this. You know, the more you talk about it, the more you are opening like healing parts in your life.

SPEAKER_01 57:29

With that being caused sorry, sorry to break your word. Um, because a therapist once told me um sometimes we we we want to bottle things up, but when you have experienced something that is causing you pain, talk about it, talk about it whenever you get a chance, talk about it, you know, not saying stand on top of the roof and shout for the world to hear, but if you have a friend, if you have a friend, I mean if there's a platform like this, if there's anyone that is interested and or willing to listen, talk about it because every time you talk, you are healing.

SPEAKER_02 58:08

You are, yeah, you are, and please, yo, I don't know how to put it, but this this podcast has made me to continue with my journey of healing because I was also scared to talk about my journey of healing until I met a psychologist, and she was like, share your story. You don't know how many souls you're going to save. That's why I'm getting quiet, continue like talking about that young woman and men that you're going to save through your journey, through your challenges, you know. It's not only me, but I believe with everyone who comes across um only they want they don't have to see your Bible side only, but they have to understand where this Bible side comes from, you know, so that they can also grow and learn to embrace themselves because I just love how you are embracing yourself, I just love how you are loving um, I just love how you are respecting um, how you just feeding her with good energy, with good vibe, with good um group of people. So this is one with that thing. Thank you so much. I wish you all the best. May you continue, please, being the sparkle, sparkle, sparkle in our lives because some of us need that from you. I get worried. Mm-hmm. I'm like, is she fine? That's what I mean. I'm silently watching you. Then after a few hours, it's okay. I will text my boyfriend. I don't even know her. And I'm like, Yeah, I know, but you must know him from now. No matter how much kind of energy you are bringing to us. So thank you. I love you, and thank you for letting me know. Please, where people can contact you for MC, voiceover, um, even don't don't mean where can they get you?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:16

Yes, yes. Um, for now, people can follow me on uh TikTok. Yes, yeah, I know, right? Actually, my son downloaded that account for me. Uh, yeah, he was like he was like, girl, I'm tired of you, you know, sitting here and not putting yourself out there. So uh my handle is at moles the mc. My contact details are on there. You can contact me via email, and there's um there's a flyer on there that actually has my my my contact details, but I can also be contacted via the phone 082 695 6231. Um, and yeah, don't you need a PA, maybe? I'm gonna need one soon, so please keep your services open. No, I'm gonna be a PA. There must not, yes, yes. Please keep your services open.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:13

I'm already selling myself, I'm going to be a PA. So big A corner.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:18

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:25

You must use it for your work, also. Like, yeah, you can use it, then you create a link, then you send it via Spotify, then you post your link on WhatsApp. We go through Spotify, we'll listen to your work.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:40

Oh okay. You say you need me, yes. I do. You need the whole of I definitely do.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:53

Thank you, Sit Molly. I I wish you a beautiful chain of healing. Thank you for getting naked with me. Thank you. I really appreciate that. I have learned a lot from you.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:05

Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:07

I wish all the best, my listeners. Thank you for listening to you, my my segment, finding beauty in the skies. If you want to share your journey with me, how you have overcome your troubles, homas, your pains, whatsoever, please be free to just contact me on 0672 078983, or just follow us on Instagram, Unspoken Truth Family. Um, as you just see my segment there with uh finding beauty in your child. May the good Lord continue to bless you, hide you, and shower you with goodness and mercy. I pray for praise upon your life, and I pray for God's grace upon your life. Remember, this is your beautiful host, Helen Jamilites go.

unknown 1:02:53

Bye.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:55

Bye.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:03

The Unspoken Truth is the catalyst for important and thought-provoking conversations that need to be had. The network tackles social ills, spiritual healing, soul searching, and mental health awareness. To subscribe, click on the show link to follow our podcast and be part of the Unspoken Truth family. Find us on all social media platforms.