Podcast Segment: Finding Beauty in your Scars with Host HelenZanele - Guest The real Kamogelo

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Hello, hello everyone. Welcome to our fourth episode of Finding Beauty in Your Scars and Unspoken Truth family. Remember, this is a safe space where we'll be sharing about our pain, our traumas, our past without judging each other. This is your beautiful host, Helen Zanila Chico. Today I'm not going alone. I have a very beautiful girl. I'm so excited. I have one of my favorite women, one of my inspiration. Um she doesn't know that she's my mentor, but she's my secretly mentor. Um, me and her, we met on Instagram. By the way, we haven't met face-to-face. How fun is that? How cool is that? And the reason why I decided to you know, and I was like, okay, I love this woman. Without wasting any time, guys, let me welcome my favorite woman. I call her Sass. Ah, come on, hello, my welcome someone.

SPEAKER_03 1:11

Yay! Thank you so much for having me, Zanele. It is really uh a pleasure to be here and to come here and speak everything without being judged.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Oh, yes, please. This is a safe place, as I I said it before. This is a place where we're sharing our pains. That's why we call it um finding beauty in your scars. So, yeah, without wasting any time, can you please tell us who's kamgelo mashijo? As I call it, I was kimu.

SPEAKER_03 1:45

Okay, well, it's a young, beautiful lady. I am originally from I was raised there. Um, but currently, right now, I am staying in Grand Ebony Park. I am 31, but scientifically 32. Yes, I am a mother, I am a sister, and yeah, I'm not only a sister to my blood sister, I am a sister to people like Zanele. Like hello. Um, yes, okay. I am also a YouTuber.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Oh, yes, all right, that's awesome. Thank you so much for introducing yourself. Um, I've been wanting to interview you, but hey, you know how life it is.

SPEAKER_03 2:42

So I thank you, Change.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

Yeah, don't sharing God as bite. I won't even say it because wow, yes. Welcome to South Africa. Welcome to South Africa. So, um I think me and you we share the same journey of life. Um, yeah, we share the same journey of life, and if you don't mind me asking you, we are both HIV positives, and it has been not an easy change for both of us, you know, and all that. Yeah, so being HIV positives come with a lot of stigma in our black community, come with a lot of stigma when it comes into relationships, when it comes to friendship, and when it comes to family. When you found out, okay, before I can ask that, when did you find out about your status? And by the way, guys, she has a YouTube channel where she's sharing about everything regarding HIB. Like, guys, please follow her channel on YouTube. You will never regret yourself. Everything that you want to know, please follow this woman. Like, please, guys, please. So, sir, tell us how you find out and and when you find out about your status, um, how was it for you? How did you react? Uh, the support and all that. Please take us back a bit because my my listeners they don't they don't know your YouTube channel, so for more shorts, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

Um going back, so when I found out that I was living with HIV, um, it was 20 2014 August. Okay. So I went yeah, went to the clinic to get an injection for the pathogen for the contraceptives. So when I got there, I was just I made everything that I went there to do, and as I was working out, I was just curious as I saw the door that was just written HIV and AIDS cancelling. And I was like to myself, uh, the last time I tested for HIV, it was just after birth. So I'm curious just to go and test again. And I did exactly that. I knocked, I got in, um, I told them that um I would like to test for HIV. Well, they took me in and they started to cancel me before they started doing the HIV test, and they explained everything, how the kit works and everything. Um, so as they were doing that, they immediately pricked my hand and they tested me, and um the nurse asked me that what like how many lines do I see? And I was like, I am seeing one line, and the second one, it's very blurry for me, so I'm not gonna count that as two lines. And then she was like, uh, please look properly. As I have explained, one line it's you are HIV negative, and two lines means you are HIV positive. And I was like, darling, I am seeing one clear line, and I'm seeing one blurry line. So to me, yes, like I'm saying to a professional, like I'm arguing with her. I'm like, I am seeing one clear line. And she's like, Okay, let's take another one just to confirm, let's take another one. And she did that also, and still, one line was clear, one line was uh visible. And she was like to me, you know what? Go to room number so so and ask the nurse in there to also test you so that we get a clear confirmation. I was like, let me do that. I took all those two tests, and then I went to the other room, I knocked, and then she got um, she said I must come in. I explained to her everything, and then she was like, Okay, let me also do my own tests. And then she also pranked me, and with her, one line appeared. And then she was like, You are HIV negative. I was like, Oh, okay, cool stuff. I went back to the other one, the first nurse, and I told her that okay, the other nurse says that I'm HIV negative. And then she was like to me, okay, um, it's fine, but can I ask you to come back on a Monday? Because I remember it was on a Thursday. She said, Can you please come back on a Monday so that we properly conclude this um without any rush? I was like, okay, fine, I will come back. But in my mind, I was like, nope, I am not going back there. Okay. I said, I'm not, I'm not going back there. Yeah. So yeah, I I called my boyfriend then uh and was like, babe, um, the nurse says that I am HIV positive. And he was like, well, now what did you see? I was like, no, I saw one line and the other one was very blurry. I didn't see it. And he was like, okay, if you're saying you didn't see the other line, then fine, let's, let's, let's continue with life. But coming back from the clinic, I felt like I'm I'm at another world. I felt like, why could this be happening? I just went there to get my contraceptives, and now I'm going back home with the thought of I could be HIV positive. I remember I was trying to cross the streets. Um, there were robots there. I almost got in when the robots were open for the cars and not for me. And I almost got knocked out by a car. Then this other guy helped me and said, Um, CC, why you unge robot? And I was like, Ah, I'm sorry, my mind is just not here. Amen. I snapped at him, yeah, and then I crossed, I came back, and I slept waiting for my partner to come back so that we can discuss it further. And when he came back, he he was very supportive. I'm not gonna lie. He supported me, yeah, and he was like, you know what? Um, we're gonna do this, we will find a way out of this as to how we should go about it, um, what we must do, and all. I was like, but I I saw one line, and I'm not gonna back up on that. I was I was tapping into my denial stage. You you get it? So yeah, and yeah, after a year, I didn't go back to the clinic. So after a year, it kept bothering me that I once went to the clinic and I was told that I'm HIV positive and I'm not doing anything about it, which is so wrong of me. And I I asked my partner that can we please go and and test both of us, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

So that we can be dating your partner when you find out. Sorry to cut you.

SPEAKER_03 9:55

Um, we when I found out, um, we started dating 20 the same year 2014, earlier 2014, and then around August, that's when I found out that I was HIV positive, and then we continued to date the uh the whole of 2014, 2015, and then 2016, we broke up. Okay, yes. So when we went for another opinion at a different clinic, um, they tested him and they tested me, and his results came out negative. And in my mind, when we were sitting there, and I was like, okay, his is negative, uh, so that means I'm also negative, not knowing that I'm gonna get shock of my life again, they're gonna tell me the same thing. Yeah, yeah, they tested me, and then all lines were clear. Okay, yeah, all lines were clear, and then that's how I started taking um taking it into heart that okay, I'm now living with HIV. How did he react?

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Him being negative and you being positive.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

Like I said, he was he was shocked because both me and him who were not really um too much into the HIV stuff. Like we would just yeah, just those lighter information, lighter articles. We would read about it, but not going deep into it. But he was very supportive. I'm not gonna lie, he was very supportive. Um, he told me that everything is gonna be okay, he will help me. I should open up if I want to speak about it, I should not be afraid to speak about it. And yeah, he was very supportive.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

So, um, so after finding out, obviously you had to take your treatment, you had to go through counseling, you know, you had to change certain things in your life, you're now looking at yourself in a different way. So, throughout the month, after you finding out how how was your coping mechanism, how did you finally reach a point of saying, okay, this is what I'm dealing with, and I have to accept it? How did you reach that point of you accepting it?

SPEAKER_03 12:19

All right. Um, when when uh everything was said and done, um, in terms of the treatment, I didn't start my treatment immediately. It was uh when, yeah, it was back then when the only people that had to take uh treatment were the ones that their viral load was really, really um high and their CD4 counts was really really low. So when I started treatment, when I uh got diagnosed, um my CD4 count was on 601. So I just took the yeah, the six months treatment for preventing TB, and I'll just go for my monthly uh checkups. So I started my treatment 2017. I didn't immediately start my treatment um the same the same year. Okay, so yeah, so for for my coping mechanism, um what I did because I am I'm a very bubbly person and I express how I feel through talking. When I know you know, when you know you know, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm a I'm a very bubbly person. I express my feelings through talking to other people, and I I did exactly that. I started speaking about my HIV status right there, and then I started sharing them with my close friends. That's how I would I would get um closure as to I am slowly accepting the fact that I'm living with HIV, I'll start talking about it with my friends, um sharing my feelings and all of those. So that's how I I coped. So family-wise, from your family that hey, listen-wise to be honest, um, ever since my mom and my grandmother passed away, um I didn't have like family support system, and I had like really trust issues when it comes to me sharing my things with um family because I have seen how how they I don't want to say how they treated me and my baby sister, but it it that's how it is. I've seen how they treated me, not giving us support, not helping us in any way. So I did not tell anyone, I'm not gonna lie. I think most of my family members they found out that I was living with HIV when I publicly came out on Facebook. Yes, when I came on Facebook and no, actually, I recorded a video that was um, I think it was my third or fourth video on YouTube where I was disclosing my HIV status and then I posted everything on Facebook, which most of my families are on my Facebook friend list. That's how they found out that's how they found out. I never sat anyone down, I never called anyone, I just never communicated any till today. I except for my uncle and one of my aunts, till today, the rest of my family members they never came to me and said, We are seeing this and this on social media. Like, how are you? How are you coping? None, not it, like nobody came to me and and asked how I was feeling.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

And how does that make you feel? Like, do you feel as if um they're not supportive enough? Do you feel just do you feel neglected by them?

SPEAKER_03 16:10

Like, how are you feeling about this? Definitely, everybody needs a family support system because yes, everybody needs some family support system. So at some point, I also needed that, but even when they found out, what hurts me is nobody came back to me and asked me how I am. You get what I mean? It's yeah, it's yeah, it's really it hurts because um I remember this other year, I think if it I think 2020 or 2021, I can't remember uh properly. I got hospitalized, and also nobody showed that they want to try and help when it comes to my family, so I always rely a lot on my friends and my church members.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

So, yeah, that's that's a very sad thing that where you are looking for support, you don't get it, hey? Especially when you don't get it. I remember also I also uh experienced the same thing when it comes to my mom, you know. Um it only took one person to change my entire status, but you know how black parents are, you know how black when it comes to those things. So I never heard that enough. So I fully understand you when you're saying you sometimes, not actually sometimes, but in this kind of state, you need your family to support you, you need your family to be in to be in your corner. Yes, everyone has um decisions of saying I want to support you, but I don't want to support you. But at the same time, at least just pretend hey, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:54

Pretend like you care, you want to help, even though you know that you're not gonna help.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

You know, when you turn your back, you can change your face, it's like you know, you know, it is and find that comfort. Oh, at least the outcome, this is very supportive. You know, I would like to make that, but hey, that's how it is. So tell me, how do you tell your son about your status? This does he understand, though.

SPEAKER_03 18:23

Um one thing about my son, guys, my son is very intelligent. My son is very intelligent. He's a straight A learner, so it was very yes, yes, please. It was really easy for for me to disclose to him. Um, but uh before I disclosed, I firstly like gave him like minor education about HIV. Um, I made it like uh I gave him like very um few ideas or what he could like really understand when it comes to HIV, and he grabbed it, and then that's when I I came out to him and I told him that okay, mommy's also living with HIV, and mommy's not gonna die, mommy's gonna continue to take her medication, and I'm going to be okay. And the the first thing that he did when I disclosed to him, he gave me a hug and said, Why didn't you tell me all this time? Because what do you think? Yeah, he he he said that, I'm not gonna lie. And before, like they would see me taking my treatment, uh, him and my baby sister, and they would ask me, Jorre, what are those uh pills for? And I would say, uh no, these are pills for me to gain weight because I'm a very tiny person, I don't look 32, I look 18. I was like, no, these are my uh pills for me to gain weight, so yeah, I'm drinking them every day. And to them, it was just that until I told them, like, no, I I was trying to protect you guys. I waited, I wanted to wait for you guys to understand a little bit more and to grow a bit that you will understand when I say I am living with HIV. And yeah, he he's very supportive, guys. He he makes sure every day that I have my bottle of water and my medications are just next to me. He makes sure that the alarm is always on. We, if we have turned it by off by mistake, he makes sure that he takes it back on so that I won't miss my medication. Aren't you not raising a gentleman now? Please. I am raising a gentleman, please give me some credit.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

It's a very nice thing that your son is very understanding. This is another thing we need to teach our our young kids, especially that when someone with HIV positive doesn't mean it's the end of the world, doesn't mean that it doesn't mean that that person will infect you by touching you because our dealing with a lot, you know. Yeah, yeah, public transport, and this guy was like, I'm yeah, no munto only HIV mean.

SPEAKER_03 21:23

I would never listen to that lack of education, lack of knowledge, you're it's killing our society.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

It is, and I wanted to comment, but at the same time, you're like, let me let me keep it to myself because you're also scared to be judged, you're also scared to be looked in a different form, in a different way, you know. So we still need more education when it comes to the status, we still need more learning when it comes to this the whole this whole thing. So, do you judge anyone from your work? You know, how because. Every month you have to go and get your pills, you have to go for your checkup, you know.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

Yeah, yeah. Um, with me, um, I think three months or four months later, uh, after my diagnosis, I immediately told my manager. Um, she was she was very curious as well because monthly I would ask that. Um, can I knock off Ellie? I need to go to the clinic. Like, she didn't understand until I sat down and was like, um, this might make me look bad at work, that maybe or something like that. Let me just come out and open up to her so that she understands every time I asked her to knock off Ellie so that I go to the to the clinic. And she was absolutely understanding. And she also encouraged me that you know what, whatever it takes, if you you're gonna be going to the clinic, you know how uh public clinics are sometimes it gets and then people don't get help. Yes, and she was like, if you go today and you don't get help and tomorrow you're still gonna go, do not hesitate to come and tell me that you need to go back again because I want you to to take your medication, and she was very, very supportive. Um, yeah, she was very supportive until um yeah, when I I got my medical aid. It's for now, things are way, way, way easy. They just dropped my medication at my doorstep, so yeah, it's really it's really good. But right now, um, because I'm I'm in a new uh uh working um uh place, yeah, I didn't I didn't tell them. Um, I didn't tell my manager, but my colleagues knows because they are young people, they're on social media, they have seen things. Um yeah, and like I said, it's it's it's easy for me right now because um I'm on a medical aid and they just drop my medication at home. I don't need to go to the doctor, I only go to the doctor every six months.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

Man, I I call ourselves as very special people, yeah. Babe, very very, very special people. We you know I um you must you know you must even care, yes please, so um okay, you the support from the family it was in there, but the support from friends, it was there, also the support from work, it was there. So we are coming to the thing, relationship. Like, do you ever go out to your relationship and say, hey man, you are dealing with this, babe. One thing about me, I'm very vocal. Because no, you know, you know, to tell you, it took me years to be public about my status, you know. Yeah, and I just a lot of people they found out on my first podcast, which was last year, you know, and can I tell you that I was shaking like hell?

SPEAKER_03 25:12

I remember when you started yes, I remember when you started talking, you were yo, uh-uh, you were so scared, girl.

SPEAKER_01 25:21

Like because I'm surrounded by people who didn't know much about this, you know. I was like, I'm going to be judged, and I was ready for that. I'm going to be owned, and I was ready for that. Yeah, I was I was I was shaking, like I just didn't know how to go on about this. But I told myself that this is uh my podcast is about finding beauty into your internal skies, you know, embracing your internal skies and making people saying, Hey, you are living with HIV, you are living with kins. I mean, you can still survive, you can still do a lot of things. You know what I mean? You are allowed to drink wine, you are allowed to do this and this, as long as you are taking your mats. But here is the problem when it comes to relationships. How are you dealing with that?

SPEAKER_03 26:18

Um, I get into a relationship two or three weeks later. I I have to tell the guy that you know what, I am living with HIV. This is what I come with. And if you reject me, please reject me as early as it's this thing, it's still. And if you want to be with me, you must come here with good intentions of wanting to support me and wanting to give me that unconditional love. And when I yeah, after I broke up with my my fiance, the one that I was with when I got diagnosed, because yeah, um, I got into relationships. Girl, those relationships didn't even last two months. Every time I get into a relationship, I'm a lover, I'm a lover of love, and I will give love you know us because we're living with HV, we're such lovers.

SPEAKER_01 27:17

I don't know, maybe it's because we are thinking that um we we want to embrace everyone with our love, yeah, yes, lovers.

SPEAKER_03 27:28

Hey, yeah, uh we are such lovers, and I like this for us. I love I love this for us, so I would get into like your contracts, your three months, your two months. Yeah, other guys would give me one month contracts because as soon as I disclose three days or four days later, I would be ghosted, I would be blogged without any reasons. And to me, I was like, oh, okay, he's doing this because I just recently told him that I'm living with HIV, and I would be fine with it. Like I got used to the fact that um relationship-wise, I'm just gonna be in a relationship for two months. Let me enjoy it like that, and then I'll move on to the next one. Yes, I got used to it until 2020 when I met my current boyfriend. Um, we were friends uh for the rest of 2020. We were best friends. Um, I would forward him like a bangan bana would like friend. This one, this one was look funneled, and then he would also do the same thing to me. Adam Gani, yeah, wanna look at them, but he's gonna love you. Like, we would do that for the whole of 2020 until uh December on the 6th, 2020. He was like, you know what? We are busy giving each other partners and all, but I actually want you. And I was like, but I thought we are friends. He's like, girl, I want you. I don't want your friends. I actually I want you, like I admire you, I want to be with you, and we ever since we are in a relationship, we he's very supportive, he's very loving. We would speak on the video calls for hours, and when time for my medication hits, you'll go like, um, I don't see you drinking your medications. What's up? Please take your medication. So he's just as supportive like that.

SPEAKER_01 29:29

So you can boldly say, Does love heal? Does love give you love?

SPEAKER_03 29:37

Yeah, yeah. I can yes, I can boldly say love really does heal a person's heart. Yeah, so and I I'm I'm saying this from my own experience. I have seen it for the past two years. I am seeing it, and it's absolutely amazing. I would never give up on love, even if should anything happen to us, I would still get to another relationship and give out my all.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

La la girl, you will hear for us. Moving on to the next you you just want to give this love, baby girl. You just want to love without you know love didn't do anything hurtful to us.

SPEAKER_03 30:22

Love is very a very patient thing. Hence, people that are HIV negative when getting into a relationship with a person that is living with HIV, you need to be patient with that person because we go through a lot of emotions.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

We at some point, actually, tell them about the after after effects of the medication caused a lot of yo, yo, yo, yo, it's a lot, those fatigues, those drowsiness, the the the the the the diarrheas.

SPEAKER_03 30:56

At some point when I started my medication, I fainted because of the side effects. What I fainted on I just got like when I got at work, I was very drowsy. I fainted and I had to go home. And I went to the doctor, he booked me off for like 13 days. What I am telling you, so but like as you all know, that the the side effects they differ from person to person. One would get yeah, one would have diarrhea and just minor headaches, one would have uh a rush and and and like so much fatigue, so it differs with people, so people need to be patient with us.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

I used to be fatigued, hey? I used to be fatigued, I used to be emotional, you know, I will just cry without no reason, so uh like it's a lot, you know, it's a lot, it's a lot. Let me try when someone says um they're gonna take a prep. I'm like, are you ready for the emotions? But psychology, are you ready for the emotions? Because it's a lot, outcome, it's a lot, you know.

SPEAKER_03 32:17

It is, but what I like about all these side effects, they don't really last for long. They last for about two to three weeks, and then after that, you become absolutely fine. Yeah, good.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

So, to someone who just found out about their status, and yes, they feel like it's the end of the world, they feel like they won't find love again, they feel like um they're going to be judged. What can you say to that person?

SPEAKER_03 32:46

Um, to a person that just found out that they're um living with HIV, I don't really like saying they are HIV positive because, like, I like to yeah, yeah, I love saying it, Jorge, you are living with HIV, not basically that virus. So, to a person that has um found out that they are living with HIV, one thing that I will say is um be true to yourself, never stop loving yourself regardless of what has changed, and accept the new you that you are going to move on forward with yourself, love yourself and find support system. It is a lot, yes. I know it gets very emotional, and you would like to you sometimes judge and ask a lot of questions which are really not necessary. I always say this on my YouTube channel that asking yourself questions like why me, where did I get it, when did I get it, it won't change anything because at the end of the day, even if you find those answers, it will never change the fact that you are now living with HIV. Just love yourself, accept your new you, and just take your medication and just know that you're going to be fine. It's not the end of the world, you can still do a whole lot of things. You can still do a whole lot of things, yes.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

You can and and and and and adding to that, I mean, you can still go far with your life, you know.

SPEAKER_03 34:23

You can do a whole lot of things.

SPEAKER_01 34:25

Lady Nose is this is it no Cine, the lady that is yes, I mean I was I was watching her episode on YouTube where she was talking about pregnancy, how it was difficult for her to leave, how how her husband was just supportive about this whole thing, and you're looking at these kinds of people, and you're like, I mean, I can live longer. You're looking at I remember I remember I used to love Chris, I used to love her when I was young. I didn't understand why I loved that woman until when I had my status. Then I was like, Oh, actually, you know, Chris Elka's been living with HIV. I don't know for how long. And look at her, she's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 35:19

She's very intelligent. Now she's gonna start her own family. Like, it's so beautiful, you know. The way God works, neh, such an amazing. It's really amazing how God works. Like He would, yeah, God will get you into things and mold you and mold you, and when He starts to raise you, you will shine like I don't know, you will shine and embrace other people as well through the life that you're living.

SPEAKER_01 35:51

My my mom Fundizi once said to me, uh, she was like, Zanela, if you give up, do you know how many people they are going to die because of you?

SPEAKER_03 36:00

Like, because a lot of people look up to you. I know for a fact not knowingly, you know, you're like yeah, not knowingly, yeah. Because I remember with me when I came out publicly on my YouTube channel, I got so many DMs, people from outside of South Africa disclosing their stories to me, and they were open up, and a lot of them still right now they come back to me and say, Camo, you have helped me so much. I didn't know that I could go to this extent, but because of you, we really appreciate that you came out and you are giving us strength. So, without knowing, you are healing a lot of people. That's why I love speaking about my HIV status. I love educating about it, I love speaking to other people and listen, just listening to their story. That's all a lot of people are looking for. They just want somebody just to listen to their story, and I'm always here to to speak. You know, I always say this to you, whatever, whenever, whatever time, you must just text me.

SPEAKER_01 37:13

I know. I remember there was a time where I just wanted to give up from taking pills. I was like, Oh, this pills are just loving me. And I went to YouTube, then somehow I went through your your your your channel and was like, okay, I think I needed this motivation.

SPEAKER_03 37:32

Yes, yes, because we do get um medication fatigued. I also got to that point. I think um this other time I was really, really, really like saying to myself, like, am I going to drink this for the rest of my life? This huge pill is so exhausting and all. But then I thought of my kids. I was like, I'm not gonna stop taking my medication because I know I'm gonna get sick, and if I get sick, I might die. So I just had to think of my my kids.

SPEAKER_01 38:08

Yeah, that's that's a good thing. We we need to keep on pushing, we need to keep on taking care of ourselves. So, in this whole thing, you've been living with it for six or five years now.

SPEAKER_03 38:20

No, babes. I've been living with HIV. I'm going to nine years now. Yeah, I'm doing on a decade.

SPEAKER_01 38:33

I'm almost on a decade. I'm doing eight years this year. I'm doing yeah, I'm doing eight years this year.

SPEAKER_03 38:40

You see, I'm going to decade. We're pushing this thing.

SPEAKER_01 38:54

I'm doing it just this, and it's it's just it's it's a very amazing thing, you know? You uh you are fighting for yourself, you are fighting for your health. Every time when I look at myself in the mirror, and I will look at this kid, and I will be like, Hey you those people are besties right now.

SPEAKER_03 39:14

I'm so proud of you, woman.

SPEAKER_01 39:16

You know, yeah, they are our besties right now because without them, uh you make me proud, you make me yeah, yeah, shame in this whole journey. What is that the most thing that you have taken in this journey that is pushing you throughout without your friends up heart, without everything? That when you when you when you're looking at it, you're like actually yes, I'm here.

SPEAKER_03 40:03

No, I couldn't get your your your question. The line was bad.

SPEAKER_01 40:08

My question is in these whole years, you living with hate, what is that you have learned in this whole journey?

SPEAKER_03 40:18

Yo, um, I have I've truly learned that I've got strength for days. Come on, I've got strength for days, considering the fact all the things that I have gone through. I laughed at myself. I'm like, baby girl, I am really proud of how you taking all this thing because a lot of people they are scared to even speak about their status, even just to a friend. But me, the courage that I have, the strength that I have, I always applaud myself. That it took me to be diagnosed with HIV to realize the level of strength that I have. Come on, it really took me that understand how no, you can do this, you can push through. So the level of strength and the level of acceptance that I have with with regard to my HIV status, absolutely amazing.

SPEAKER_01 41:25

Wow, so you have learned that you have a strength of an elephant girl for days for days. You like actually I can carry this load, I cannot carry it.

SPEAKER_03 41:42

Yes, it's really no, it's not really heavy, guys. Please, it's not heavy. Yes, the first stage, yes, it's gonna be like a lot, but once you get to a point where you accept who you are living with HIV, it's a smooth ride, it's a smooth ride. Like I would get a lot of people, yes. Like I would get a lot of people, maybe in groups or in a taxi speaking about HIV, they will bash uh people or they'll say, Yeah, but people will people will go out and having unprotected sex, what what what what what what yeah, they deserve it, and all of that. I would stand up and say, please, I would stand up and say, with me, it did not happen like me sleeping around for me to be infected with HIV. It took me korikitse one. I just trusted one person, and that one person infected me with HIV. So, this thing of people saying, Yes, people that are living with HIV, they're busy sleeping around. That's why they got the HIV, and once or not, like I would stand up for everybody that is living with HIV. It doesn't really happen like that to some other people.

SPEAKER_01 43:00

So please hold your horses right there, hold your horses right upon the lap of like holding them. Yeah, they are born with it, you know.

SPEAKER_03 43:13

Yes, other people are born with it, other people got infected as they were helping others, they touched needles and whatsoever. Like, you get what I mean? So it's it's a lot of people that are lacking this information, you can get infected in various ways.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

It's not only through sex, yeah, yeah. So, people they really need education. Remember, we once talked about this that we need to do something. Yes, I remember, baby. I remember our community, you know. Our government is no longer talking about this, honestly. Like this off now, our youngsters they're falling into sex like brands. For a job, and they end up being HIV positive and they end up committing suicide.

SPEAKER_03 44:10

Because remember, yeah, yeah. I remember this other was it last year? Yeah, early last year, this other young girl um saw my my my my because I've got I also have a YouTube page, so she saw uh a clip that I have posted and she DM'd me and she was like, I just found out that I was living with HIV a few days ago and I I'm not coping and I think I'm done with life, I'm gonna kill myself and what's what not.

SPEAKER_01 44:45

People do commit suicide or attempt to commit suicide because of finding out of their statuses, and others they're committing suicide because of what they are hearing outside when people they discuss about HIV, you know? Yes, yeah, it's not a lot, it's just a lot. So we still need more education regarding this. Um our fellow brothers and our fellow sisters who are living with HIV. Can we not stop talking about this? Can we not stop um educating our families, educating our friends, educating your colleagues? That being HIV doesn't mean it's the end of the world for you. Being HIV doesn't mean that you want I mean you can still have healthy kids, you know. You can still have healthy kids. You can still do, you know, without uh infecting your kids if you take your treatment. Another thing I always tell people that when when you take your medication constantly, your viral will be lower than detectable, and there is no way you're going to infect your partner.

SPEAKER_03 45:56

Yes, that is so true. I've been undetectable. I think when I started my medic my treatment 2017, I think it only took me like six months because I was taking my medication so well constantly on time every day. It took me literally, yeah, it took me literally less than eight months. I think it was six months, and then I was undetectable ever since. I never defaulted, I never, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:23

And it's a beautiful thing reaching that stage, my guy.

SPEAKER_03 46:27

No, it's a beautiful thing because yeah, you can still have your normal sex life, yeah, mom. You can still plan for a baby like I am doing right now. I'm planning to have my second time.

SPEAKER_01 46:46

I'm you oh you know, you can still do. Um thank you so much, Askama, for sharing your channel. Thank you for thank you so much for having me. The voice to the voiceless. I I honestly I personally learn a lot from your YouTube channels, even though I don't comment, but I'm like, there's something that I'm taking from it, you know. There's something that I'm learning from it, and for that, can I just say gurus for being the strong woman that you are? Thank you for allowing us, you know, young people to come and pour out comments unto you, and you not complaining and saying, but guys, I'm also dealing with that. It's a very great job and a very amazing job that you're doing, that we are doing, you know, to motivate us.

SPEAKER_03 47:44

Thank you so so much. Thank you so much, Zanel. I really do appreciate, and yeah, I'm always there. Like, guys, you can text me whenever. Where can they get you? Where can they get you? Um, follow me on my Instagram. It is at camujelo chems, k e mz. Facebook, it's the real camujelo m. YouTube, it's the real camujelo m. And yeah, DM me. I will gladly. I enjoy this HIV talks. Whether I have you are doing I really do, Zanele. I really do. This is why I am I am doing this YouTube thing because I enjoy teaching and I enjoy um interacting with other people and just listening to other people's stories, which is a good thing because we are looking up to you, you know.

SPEAKER_01 48:45

You are making to live this life like I'm taking this life thing like balls, you know. I'm like, hey, listen. You know, um, I really appreciate you, I really love you a lot. I wish you that you have twins.

SPEAKER_03 49:11

Oh my god, twins will come with money. I receive it in the name of Jesus, amen.

SPEAKER_01 49:19

I wish you all the best in your channel. Continue educating us, continue telling us about this virus, continue loving yourself. I mean, guys, I'm gonna post her picture on on WhatsApp. She's so tired. I look like an 18 year old, please. She's so tiny, but from that kindness, it comes a lot of information. Thank you so much for for following us. Thank you for listening to us. This is um a safe place where we're sharing about our past, our pain, uh, finding beauty in your scars. If you also would like to share your stories, like I was coming, I mean you know where to get us under unbroken truth, family. With that being said, I wish you love, I wish you peace, I wish you prosperity, I wish you success, and happy new year. I never said happy new year to you guys. I'm so bad. This is our first episode of 2023. May the good Lord bless you all, may He cover you all. Hey, thank you so much for loving me with the good love. This is your beautiful host, Helen Zaneda Chicom.

unknown 50:36

Bye!

SPEAKER_00 50:44

The Unspoken Truth is the catalyst for important and thought provoking conversations that need to be had. The network tackles social ills, spiritual healing, soul searching, and mental health awareness. To subscribe, click on the show link to follow our podcast and be part of the Unspoken Truth family. Find us on all social media platforms.