WCWM: In Conversation with Thandie

Balancing Work and Family: Insights from a Tax Advisor Mom

In today’s fast-paced world, many women find themselves juggling multiple roles: professional, mother, partner, and friend. For Thandekile Dlamini, a tax advisor from Pretoria, South Africa, this balancing act is both a rewarding challenge and a testament to her resilience. In this blog post, we dive deep into her experiences, exploring the unique perspectives she brings to both her profession and her family life.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome to the working class women movement. I'm your host, Nita Kwiti, and today I'm in conversations with Tandy. But I'm gonna let Tandy tell us who she is, where she's from, and we're gonna go deep down and dive into her career, her role, being a mom, being a career woman, whatever it is. She's gonna tell us all. Tandy, how are you today?

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Hi, Nita, I'm good. Thank you. Hi everyone. My name is Tandegile Chlamini. I am born and bred in South Africa, Pretoria, precisely. And I am currently a mom of two, a sister, a wife, and a friend. Um yeah, so yeah, that's me basically. Professionally, I work in tax, um, but we'll get into that a little bit later. Um, yeah, and yeah, this is me. This is who I am, and how I know Anita. Me and her went to school together, and just in case you're wondering.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Yes, we do know each other for a very long time. Um you said you're a wife, your mother, your friend, your firstborn daughter. How's that responsibility?

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Oh my gosh, it is quite a huge responsibility being a firstborn daughter because you're literally a deputy parent, if I can put it that way. Um, and as time progresses and your parents become older, you actually realize that you actually parent them back. You know, you you become a parent to them, and you've also become a parent to your younger siblings. So it's quite a hefty responsibility, and I don't think anyone expects it from you. It just comes naturally, you know, by the flow of nature and the order of nature and how things just happen to be when you are the first one of your siblings. Um, but yeah, it's it's not so bad. I I quite enjoy it.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

And then the responsibility of being a mother and a wife, does that come with a lot of responsibility?

SPEAKER_00 2:15

Yes, it does. Being a mother is, I think, the most grueling and testing experience any woman can ever go through. Um, more than being a wife, in my opinion, because I think children really show who you truly are, um, but at the same time also revealing your flaws as a human being. Um, if I can maybe just touch on that a little bit, and what I mean is that um if, say, for example, you are a person who is very set in your ways and you want things done the way they should be done, according to your understanding, children will teach you that it's not it's not that deep, sweetheart, relax. They will bring you down to earth, you know, in ways that yeah, in ways that you couldn't ever imagine, and especially with that last born. You see that last born. Oh my gosh, they get away with murder, no bodies whatsoever, free will, do anybody want, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

It's it's it's you are right when you say they teach you uh a lot of patience, and for me, I think it brings a lot of questioning because then I'm like, was I like this to my mom? Was I like this to my parents? Did I not listen? You know, like it's like it's like was I that bad? Like I got to a point where I said to my mom, oh thank you for you know dealing with me. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

I get it, I get it. A moment of reckoning, right? Where you're like, Oh, oh my gosh, like that that was oh, I get it, I get it.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

It's the it's it's just the it's just the worst type of absolutely job that does not pay. Okay, it's a it's a career that doesn't pay.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

And it's and it doesn't end, there's no clock out, clock in, no, it's it's continuous, like yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

That's really the hardest part. Yes, okay, okay. So let's jump into what you do for a living. Okay, um everything about it. Um so I want you to go deep in. I want you to tell us your role as a tax advisor, um, what it entails, what type of education you need, everything about it.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Okay, no problem. So a lot of people always ask and are curious about the very same thing because I think tax as a subject generally is something that people hate with a passion because it involves them parting ways with their hard-earned money. You know, nobody likes to pay taxes because at the end of the day, why? You know, why am I paying taxes? I worked by myself, and now all of a sudden I need to share my money with this tax man who did nothing, absolutely nothing, to earn my money, right? How did I get there? Okay, so basically, my journey is one of where I actually started out wanting to study accounting because that's what I got a bursary in. Um when I was in um uh in Matrix, like I managed to get a bursary to go study accounting at university. Um, but I quickly discovered that accounting really is not what I want to do. And how I figured that out is because accounting, um, for me, it's it's it's a neither here nor there. It's it's for me, accounting is based on the fact that whichever standard you want to apply, or depending on a set of rules or someone someone's interpretation, they can choose the standard that they want to apply. For me, that is problematic because I'm a black or white person. I don't like grays and in-betweens because it just opens up room to so many you know complexities. It's either black or it's white. And that's it. And that is what tax is. In the world of tax, you're dealing with a statute of law, it's it's basically law. And how you apply the law, there's only one way to apply the law, right? There's no gray areas or whatever. Yes, you can try to plan your taxes in ways that um will favor you, but it has to be within the confines and within, you know, within the statute of law. You cannot do something that is outside of the law because then you go to jail. Do you know what I mean? So that's how I veered off because tax happened to be a subject in um the accounting um degree. And when I was doing that subject, oh my goodness, I was enjoying it so much. I would I would write the exam past. With accounting, there were times where I would write, not really get a mark that I would consider great. But um, and then there were times where I would have to write the exam and I just wouldn't turn up. My anxiety just wouldn't let me go to the exam rooms. So much so that I I didn't even complete my accounting degree, believe it or not. I didn't complete it. I just I dropped out of it and I was like, you know what, I'll figure it out along the way. And I got into a role. I was lucky enough to land a role as a junior accountant, where I had to, I I I then got the opportunity to apply um, you know, tax uh in within that role. And that's how I learned. I literally learned from the ground up, learning from other people, learning by reading, learning by, you know, um seeing how other people are doing it. So I practically learned the skill. Later on, then I went back to school and did my diploma in taxation, passed it first time, flying colors, and then later on did my postgraduate diploma in tax as well, passed it flying colors up to where I am now. I'm currently a member of the South African Institute of Taxation. I'm a tax advisor. I started off as a tax technician, um, which are designations, like a C ASA, but this one is tax advisor, so I'm a TAASA. Um and with this, um, with this designation, what I am allowed to do, I'm allowed to give people tax advice. Um, I can offer corporates and I could offer individuals advice, um, trusts, and I can also um uh uh practice in a compliance role where I make sure that all your tax returns are completed correctly, all the supporting documentation that you need in terms of paperwork is compliant, and would be able to pass you through an audit with the uh revenue services, um whichever country you're in, and I will be able to represent you in a matter of a dispute, for example, if you um if the revenue services do not happen to agree with um you know your your interpretation of an assessment or or let's say, for example, a return. If you fill out a return and they're not happy with what you've put on your return, I would be able to then represent you to say that no, this is the reason why this is the um this return was submitted like this, and these are the more like mediation, correct, mediation, correct, arbitration, that type of thing. Correct, yes. So, yeah, so that's that's what my qualification affords me to be able to do. Um, and of course, I do enjoy talking about the subject as well and educating a lot of people because I believe a lot of people don't like it because they don't understand it, do you know, to begin with? They don't understand it.

SPEAKER_01 10:07

It never makes sense. Like, what is this? Like it's so complicated, so complex, and I just feel like many of us need that type of education. And if you're speaking like this, I'm like, where do we find that? Like, where do we get those nuggets of knowledge to say this is what you need to do? And when you find yourself in this, this is how you get out of it, or if it gets worse, call someone who knows, right? Like, we really need nuggets of it because we don't understand it, and especially when you look at a lot of artists right now in South Africa who owe a lot of text, um, you know, and you're like, how do they get there? But obviously they got there because they didn't understand what they needed to do, and I think it's really a big thing wherever you are, whatever you know, career that you're in, right? So I wanted to ask you this so what what is employment tax like in in real life? What is employment tax?

SPEAKER_00 11:04

So, okay, with employment tax, what we are referring to is somebody who works a nine to five, you're working in a job, basically. You have an employer-employee relationship, and that is where you contract your services or you extend your services to your employer, and then your your employer at every end of the month pays you a salary. But we will agree that let's say, for example, your employer says they'll pay you 100,000 rand a month, what you get in your bank account isn't usually 100,000 Rand. You will probably get somewhere close to 70,000 or 60,000 for that matter. So where employment tax falls in is is in that gap. So we are we are looking at we are looking at where that 30,000 Rand went to that you didn't get. Right. Yes. A part of what we do is is that is that 30,000 Rand gap. Um, we are the ones who then take that money from your salary and then pay it over to the organization or the institution that is actually requesting um us to do so. So we act as a third party, an agent, in in other words, we are an employer is kind of like an agent on behalf of SARS to or your revenue authority, where in whichever country you are. Um that collects money to the index office. Right. Exactly. So we will collect taxes on on on behalf of on their behalf, and then we'll pay you the the rest of your money. And then, of course, there are other third party um, like for example, your medical aid, your health insurance that also need to be paid from that 30,000, right? That you are not going to see, but it's your money.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Where does the money go, Tandy? Where does this tax money go?

SPEAKER_00 12:58

Where is it going? It's going to the revenue authority. So your revenue authority, normally um, how it works in every country is that there will be a national treasury, let's call it that. So there'll be a department or uh or an organ of state called the national treasury, and that and the role of the natural treasury is basically to be the purse of the government. You that that's what they do. They collect all the money on behalf of the government, right? So that everything can be operated. So the role of the revenue authority, in my country it's called SARS, and in your country it's called something else, right? And in America, it's called the IRS, right? So what they what they do is they are the operating force that puts the money inside of National Treasury's purse, right? So they are the that they are the agent that now goes and physically goes to collect that money from the different sources. There's income tax, right, which is paid by corporates. There's corporate income tax, which is paid by companies, and then we have individual tax, individual income tax. So they'll that that's paid by individuals, like uh people, normal everyday people. Um, we also have VAT, which is like a value-added tax, tax on uh consumption of goods and services. And then we have taxes on your fuel, taxes, you know, you know all the taxes, all the taxes that exist, basically. This one organization called the Revenue Authority is tasked to go and collect those taxes on behalf of who? National Treasury. So that's that's that's how the chain works.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

Okay, yes, exactly. It's so horrible. So, yeah, what's a normal work day looking like for you? So, how does your day start? What is a day of a tech advisor looking like? It's a Monday, you've woken up, get the kids ready. About to go to work, drive to work, how does that look?

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Okay, so first thing that happens normally when I open my computer, I would go check my emails to see if anything came through overnight. I'm one person who clears my mailbox every day. Every day. I clear my mailbox every day, and what I'm looking for in my mailbox mainly are queries or questions or um, you know, um any actions, um maybe like queries that I need to action. Maybe there's a request coming from an employee, it's either they're looking for their certificate or they're disputing a tax assessment from SARS, and because in their head, they think that um if there's any mistake that happened on my tax return and SARS is telling me that I'm owing me, it's definitely my employer. So I need to go after my employer and tell them you didn't tax me properly, and now SARS says I'm owing them. Please fix this. So I will sit there looking for those queries, and we also have an um an internal operated like system where queries will come through. It's a workflow uh program. So I will open up that that um program and we'll look for the queries that are sitting in that box and work on them one by one. So that's what I do on a daily basis. Um, and then apart from that, there are days where I also need to go in and pay tax, uh pay, you know, SARS their their taxes for the um taxes that we've collected for the month. So that's part of the function. But I mean, that's a month, that's it's a monthly thing that we do. And then also preparing reports, you know, um, that I would need to then send out to other business units to let them know that within your division, for example, or within that, and that within that company, because where I work, we don't deal with just one company. There's a number of companies that we administer taxes for, um which are part of the group companies, and I would need to then handle um reporting for all of them, ensuring that all of them are, you know, uh paying the correct taxes, you know, with withholding the correct taxes from the employees, and of course, other statutory deductions as well. So my day typically is filled with uh query resolution. I'm constantly solving problems and explaining apart with their money, nobody wants to part with their money.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

Individuals, businesses, nobody wants to parts with money because it's just like you work so hard for this money. Where's this money going?

SPEAKER_00 17:45

Absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

You're in this role, you're a tax advisor. Yes, how does it look like when it comes to representation? When it comes to women versus men, um yeah, you know, like how does that look in that world generally?

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Yeah, so historically, um I've and I've actually seen it. Um, this field that I'm in generally is not a field where there are a lot of women. Um, it's white male dominated. Um and if I look at it and maybe look back into history, I can understand. I mean, the lawmakers, the people who you would write in the laws, you know, generally were white males. Um, they are the ones who have the powers to sit and make those decisions and influence government um, you know, to implement the laws um which they've they've you know cut sit down sat down and written. Um but with time I've noticed that there are a lot of there is a lot of females getting into the field, um, because the field is quite broad. I mean, I'm only in one component of it, but there's different vast areas of tax. Some people specialize just in tax law, some people specialize in um transfer pricing, some people um specialize in mergers and acquisitions and and from an advisory perspective. Um and yeah, there's just so many areas. But I'm finding that a lot of young females are now getting into it. Um I think the only gap or that um or or the area that I think is is causing there to be not as much representation as I I would want is because it's an area where you have to do a lot of reading. You do a lot of reading because the law is constantly changing. And in order for you to be successful, very successful at it, you need to be a person that constantly wants to read, a person that constantly wants to update their knowledge. So continuous professional development is is very key in this in this industry. So you need to be able to put in the hours, put in the the labor, you know, and and yeah, then you should be fine.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

And then how does it look? Because I'm just gonna throw you here under the bus, right? So with the world changing, right? I don't know if you got to see the last uh conversation I had on the page talking about AI. Are you integrating AI in your field of work? Um, because it's it's supposed to be out there to help us to make work a bit easier. But where do you see AI fitting as um tax advisors? Because somebody can go, well, but do I really need tandy if I've got Chat GPT? Interesting. Interesting, interesting. I tell you what I need to do. Claude can tell me what I need to do. What then separates you as the human tax advisor and AI?

SPEAKER_00 21:06

Ah, love that question. And you know what? I actually had an incident happen quite recently where um within my job, um, there's somebody who did a co-pilot query on a tax question that I mean, obviously they had no knowledge of that area, and they went and asked co-pilot. Um, co-pilot is is is another uh AI tool, right? So they went and asked co-pilot. Um and and and you know what? The thing is for me, right? Because I I I'm I'm I'm a big champion for for for the use of AI. I believe in AI. And I I I'm one person who loves anything that's going to make my life easier, right? Um But also you need to be responsible in how you use the tools. Because at the end of the day, you're interacting with a machine, right? It's just a model that has been trained to query. I call it querying information because all it's doing is it's it's drawing from a certain database of knowledge and then it's regurgitating it back to you in a way that Google also works, but it's doing it in such a way that it clears up all the noise and it gives you one answer, which also we we we will we will also say, like, hey, where does bias play in in all of that? Because if you're giving me one answer, from what perspective is that answer coming from? Do you know what I mean? So anyway, yeah, exactly. So so this person went uh prop uh typed in their prompt, right? Quick problem number one. They typed in their prompt, asking the question from their understanding, which is not much understanding of text, right? Yes, and AI co-pilot gave them the answer. And oh my goodness, did that person not come to me and say, Tandy, you told me this and this? I went and did my research, and my research told me that you are wrong. Oh my goodness. I said to her, please can I see that research? And when she showed me, I quickly picked up that no, this is AI generated. Yes. But I played along and I read what and I read what it was it was explaining to her. But I quickly picked up that even in the prompt that she put in, there's certain information that she did not give the she didn't give uh uh the co-pilot, and that is why co-pilot answered her in the way that it did. So I don't completely blame co-pilot because her prompt was incorrect to begin with. It guided the answer that she was looking for. But the way she came at me is like, oh no, you were wrong. But I'm like, no, I'm not, and I had to defend myself as somebody who is a licensed tax advisor. I had to defend myself against this AI tool, and I did so successfully, you know, because I had to then show her that no, I'm not quoting AI, I am quoting literally SARS's guidelines, the law, the the act, the law, which I am quoting from there, and oh my goodness, she didn't even apologize to me till this very day. She didn't apologize to me.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

I guess people have to learn the hard way, right? It's it's it's more like we are moving into those times, and I also advocate for change. I love change, but yeah, you also need to be very careful of this change, especially if you do not understand it, do not lean on it too much heavily because I feel like once we heavily rely on it, what is the truth? Right now, nothing is black and white, and now we really are playing in that gray muddy area that made us a lot of our hands on with so many questions right now, case law of people going to court that people wouldn't know because it doesn't go to the news. This is arbitration, this is something that really just goes unsaid, right? I don't think I would want to rely on AI as yet on tax advice because that's your life, you know, that isn't something you play with and oh, let me play with my life, and then before you know it, you're serving 20 to 25 years in jail. So nobody wants that exactly exactly wants that at all. Nobody wants that at all. We spoke everything technical, we spoke everything tax, we spoke everything tax and AI. But I wanted to go a bit with you and talk about um what you do outside text, things that keep you going, things that keep you moving, keeps that things that keep you sane. Because we do know that you're already a mother, a wife, a daughter, a tech advisor. What gets you going? What are those things that you like and the things that make you go, oh, I'm a bit awkward. What are those things?

SPEAKER_00 26:38

Oh my goodness. Um, sure. Uh I'm one person I love spending time with my family. I enjoy, I enjoy it so much. And even with when I spend time with my family, my mother, my sister, um, we have common interests uh amongst us. So one of the common interests that we have is we enjoy thrifting. Oh my goodness. The three of us, we love thrifting, sustainable fashion. We love finding one-of-one items, you know, and and and we make such a big deal out of it, you know, because um it feels almost like treasure hunting, you know, when we go thrifting with my mom and my sister. We really, really, really, really enjoy that. I really, really do. And I've gotten my my son in on it, but I mean, even with the latest fashion, the clothes that these young ones wear.

SPEAKER_01 27:34

Oh my gosh, those all look like thrifted clothes. Yes, it is thrift, giving 1980, 1990, early 2000s, you know, and I'm just like, why am I gonna pay so much money when we could just thrift these?

SPEAKER_00 27:52

And these are good quality, much better, you know, clothes. So yeah, so I I love thrifting. I love um also anything that's um arty, like anything that's like crafty. I I enjoy doing that. I like sitting down, maybe just painting my nails. I mean, I have a whole nail kit behind me. I don't know if you can see it, sitting right here next to my my in my home office. So whenever I'm like sitting in a meeting and getting bored, and someone is just yep, yep, yapping in the meeting, I'll just quickly grab a filer and start filing my nail, you know, and getting down to business. I think I enjoy working with my hands. I love I love anything that that you know that engages my mind and and and along with my hands at the same time. And um shopping, oh my goodness. I yeah, although the habit is not really friendly on my purse, but I I I I I've got an excuse. I like cheaper things, you know. I like you know, those Chinese, Chinese shops, you know, they they have really nice, cute little things that you can pick up off of Shein sometimes. And I mean they have other shops that they you know, China Mall. I enjoy going to such places, I enjoy doing such things.

SPEAKER_01 29:15

Um, yeah, and then um last guest I had also said I need a i Sharp, i Shop, do shop, shop, shop, and you hear saying shop clearly, I'm the only old one out here. I can never find myself shopping for anything. Literally, I've got my mom who shops for me, my sister who does that, my friend, one of my closest friends who's in London who does that for me. Oh, Anita, did you see this thing so cute? It looks so nice on you. I do not go to the store because I am not interested. I am not interested about getting into a shop and looking at things and moving around and getting tired. What I don't and even if you know the two little babies, if I had to shop for my kids, I get exactly what I want and I get the hell out. I would be like, I'm here for shoes, I get shoes, and you would never see me at a sales section or see me trying to no, I'm here for shoes and socks, I'm here for shoes and socks. So when you're talking about black and white, I'm exactly like stuck in my way. It's like I came to get this and that's it and go home. Wow, you're lucky.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

Actually, no, you're not, you're not. I that is so depressing. That sounds very depressing, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:41

Okay, so you told us the things that you love doing. Let's get into um as we wrap up, right? I wanted to know what you would have said to your younger self now that you are in this role, now that you carry all these titles, tax advice again, mom, daughter, wife. What is it that you'd have said to your younger self? So when you're in high school, you're thinking you want it to be this, and then along the way, everything shifts, you're doing something else. So, what would that advise be to your younger self?

SPEAKER_00 31:19

I think more than anything, knowing what I know now, I would probably say to myself, um, take more chances um and explore some of the interests that you know deep down in your heart, you know you're interested in. Um, even though it doesn't look popular or it doesn't seem like you know, the mainstream thing that people would expect of you to do, just go for it. You know, I mean, I look at um some of the interest that I had um in the early like 2010s around that time. I remember there's a girl called Vongay on uh she's an influencer, and I remember when she started out on Facebook, I started out doing makeup along with her on Facebook as well. I would do like I would do makeup, and me and her actually connected on Facebook and became friends at the time. And she would inbox me. Yes, yeah. And she would inbox me like whenever I was using certain products and ask me, oh, where did you get that? And I would, you know, I would tell her, and we were both starting out at the same time. But along the way, I I thought, no, this is not, you know, this is not cool. This is oh not not necessarily cool, but I feel like this is not the career that I should be pursuing. This is not something that I should be doing. And not necessarily to say that it's something that I could have just done and focused on that and and forgotten about everything else. But I think it's it's it's a passion of mine that if I had maybe taken it to, you know, taken it seriously, along with along with the other stuff that I do, um, I think I could have been far. You know, I could have been far because um when I look at when the both of us started and where she is now in her career, she's not even doing makeup anymore. Now she's she's doing other things. I feel like maybe I if I had also just, you know, tugged along with her, I would, I would have, you know, I would have been, you know, somebody else or something else. But um I think the whole the main lesson for me here is that um don't be afraid to pursue your passions. Um and I've seen it quite personally through it manifesting in my my oldest son. My son, he's um turning 18 this year. And I think since he was around 10 years of age, he has had a passion in in music production. So he'll produce music with his laptop, his computer. He started off with a laptop at the time, and then I bought him a computer, I think when he turned uh around 15 around there. And he's tires, tirelessly pursued this passion. Um I think he's probably egging towards nine or eight years of experience in this field, as young as he is, but I can tell that he's just not letting go. He's like a dog on a bone when it comes to this passion of his. My house is constantly filled with young boys who are passionate in music and trying to pursue a career in music, and he's just producing beats for them, he's making music for them, he's released three or four projects on his own in my house on Apple Music, on Spotify, on YouTube Music. And I'm wondering how he make all this happen? I didn't give him money. I didn't, I didn't, he didn't come to me to ask for anything, and it's made me realize that oh my gosh, there's no better time than now than for you to go out there and pursue your dreams and career or your passion, because time and technology has made it so much easier for anyone to literally put themselves out there and become a success, you know. And if if if you think um you will look a certain way to people, don't let that stop you, you know. Don't let that stop you. You know, I think we come from a different generation where we were raised by people pleasers. So, you know, I mean, we still have the the scratch marks from all of that in a way. Yeah. So in my journey of parenting my son, I've had to sort of walk away from that and say, look, I'm not, I'm not, I'm I I want you to do well and perform well in school just like I did. But if you're not, and you you clearly, clearly have other, you know, passions and other things that you are actually way more better at. Who am I to stop you? You know, who am I to stop you? You know, go for go go for it. You know, pursue your dreams. Don't be like me, who didn't pursue their dream because of how because of them thinking or me thinking how it's going to look to people. Go go and go and do what you need to do. And and I hope you succeed at it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:33

That is so true because when you say that, it just made me think of something like as I do my runs, I run to clear my mind and I run to think at the same time. And um and one of the thoughts I had was as you're speaking, when we were when we were in school, we were good at what we did. So we did our academically okay, and we had a dance crew, and we were dancers. Nobody would ever say that today that all these people could dance, and it just shows you that your young self is always out there to do what they love, regardless of who says what. So I was running, I was like, girl, Anita, I'm like, you do a lot, a lot of stuff, okay? And I then said to myself, but who said I shouldn't do a lot of stuff? Right? Why should I stop myself at one thing? And even if it's gonna come across across cringe or whatever, then so be it. I'm gonna do things because if I was able to do it in my teens, what stops me now trying to juggle this whole life of being a mom? I mean, we we have friends here who go, When do you sleep? Like, when do you and your husband sleep? If you're not creating content, you're making news, if you're not making music, you're making coach, if you're not making coach, you're running, if you're not running at work, you've got kids. And I said, We've got 24 hours in a day, and we only have this one life. Oh, yes, and if you're gonna leave it, leave it to your fullest, and it doesn't matter who says what. So when you say that, you just keep home that you are right, like getting to see our kids because we are from a generation that go to school, get a degree, get a job. Yeah, yeah, that's not just it. There's more to life than that, right? You can be a million things, you can be a doctor and astronaut at Tex Advisor. Yes, you can wear different hate hats all the time. Yeah, so I would also really urge my younger self too to say continue doing what you're doing, run those marathons, girl, run that do what you need to do. Um but yeah, thank you so much for jumping on. Like, I was about to ask you another question, and then I realized you actually answered the whole question also with what you answered. So one last parting word, just one last last one. If you were to turn back the hands of time, what would you change? If I was to turn back the hands of time, hmm.

SPEAKER_02 39:12

You know what?

SPEAKER_00 39:13

I I don't think I'll change anything because through all the failure and hardship, through all the success, I think I had to experience that. I had to go through that to make me the person that I am today, to become the mother that I am today, and you know, to become, you know, the woman that I am, the way that I think, the way that I see life. I it I had to, I had to go through that. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Um, but if I had to come back and have another life, I would like to come back as a black male. A black male who is tall, dark, and handsome, rich. I would like to come back. I would like to come back as him because I believe he um experiences life um in in the most underrated, privileged way that um that that most of us women would probably desire. Because yeah, I I think I think I think there's so much privilege that they have, and then other people tell us to to be to what to be gracious to them or to to to be kind to men, you know, when the world is already kind to them.

SPEAKER_01 40:38

So I would like to come back as a black male and not have to take some of the so we can also get the grace, so we can also get the grace.

SPEAKER_00 40:47

Exactly, and not have to go through some of the challenges we face as women, you know, just trying to assert ourselves and and and and you know, make a position for ourselves in society because we go through so much as women, hey. We we we really go through so much just to be taken seriously, you know, just to to you know, for somebody to listen to you, you go through so much, yeah, yeah. So but for your heard and your opinions, exactly, exactly, and and to be respected, you know, because you can be heard and not respected, but for your voice and your opinion to be heard and respected, and for for people to just take you seriously, it takes a lot. You have to work ten times harder than what a man has to do, um, you know, as a female. So, yeah, but I wouldn't change anything, I wouldn't change anything if uh for my current life.

SPEAKER_01 41:41

Yeah, yeah, that's so great. Thank you so much for joining us, Andy, and thank you for your story. And I hope I hope others will get inspired, um, not only just to hear your story, but also share their story because I believe that a lot of women are doing incredible things out there, and you are an example of that. Um I wouldn't have ever thought anything different. Um, I just feel like um it's always a template of who you are as a person. I've known you for a very long time, and even if there's always that gap or time difference, whatever, but you still are the same person that you were, uh, really, you know, black and white and always really ambitious and very intelligent, which is who you've always been. Um and I would say continue being that person, and I also urge you to teach more people about text and have those nuggets, have those lessons, have those little workshops, and call other women in, and call artists if you have to, and call children because, like you're saying, your son is in music, and having to really grow from a young age, high school level, to teaching us as grown up as we are. You still teach me. Uh, well, I don't want to do any of my texts, but um, I don't think I want to learn as long as I've got you. Uh, but generally, I just feel like you're in a field that is very important, very important for us. Um, and may you just grow in it and may you keep on teaching more and more people. So, this is me kind of hinting that let's have that content, let's have that content with makeup while you're putting makeup on and maybe teaching us about text. Nobody does it, you will be the first to do it, but you're learning in a fun way. So, thank you so much for jumping on, and hopefully, we'll have you on another chat.

SPEAKER_00 43:32

Thank you so much, Nita. Thank you so much for having me. And also, I'm super, super, super proud of you and the movement that you've started and all the other movements that you have started. You're one person who's passionate, you're not afraid to put yourself out there and you wear your heart on a sleeve when you are passionate about something you want the world to know. And I'm so proud of you for actually taking the time and you know putting in the action. You are one person who is a doer. Because I know a lot of people they just wish and desire, and it ends there. You are one person who takes that, whatever it is that you wish, whatever it is that you want, and you actually go out there and do it. So I find that very inspirational, and I pray that the platform grows and it will, it will catch fire when the time is right. It will definitely catch the ears and the eyes of those who need to see it. And I believe more and more women can learn so much from you and from what you do. So, thank you so much for all of this, Anita. I'd really, really, really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 44:40

Thank you, Tanz.