English with Dane
Hey, I'm Dane. I grew up bilingual and after 15 years of teaching and working with English learners, I've realised that true fluency comes from understanding how the language fits into real life. I created English with Dane to give Spanish speakers a calm approach to becoming fluent through practical conversations about language, culture, TV and current events. No stress, just English that makes sense and gets easier to use over time.
English with Dane
The Power of Looking Good - Conversation w/ Ruben Ramos
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Conversación en inglés para practicar.
This conversation features my friend and celebrity hairstylist / make up artist Ruben Ramos @theawakeningofstyle
We talk about the importance of feeling good about yourself and how that impacts how you act upon the world, if beauty standards are getting away from us a bit, if botox and other procedures are a "slipper slope", and more.
Ruben's English isn't perfect, and throughout our conversation im helping him with small corrections to make sure we don't reinforce any incorrect structures. I hope this conversation illustrates that your English doesn't have to be perfect to be able to get your point across, and it's more about choosing your words with purpose, and speaking at a pace that feels good to you.
I love how we met. You you were watching my other podcast, and I mentioned how I've never been comfortable with my hair, and it was always a big insecurity of mine. This is my hair situation. Yeah, that you're going to be dealing with later. He's gonna cut my hair in a sec. Um, you reached out to me and you were like, hey, I'm Rubin, you don't know me, um, but I think I can help you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And we met up, we had a coffee, and you said, All right, come to come to my studio, come to my house. I don't remember. And you gave me the first haircut in my life that I was like, hey, this is this is me. This feels good. I feel good about myself. And what I wanted to ask you, and I thought we could start off with this what is the value or the power of a really good haircut?
SPEAKER_01Whoa. I don't know if gonna be able if I'm gonna be able to express this. Okay. Um what's the power? Okay, I think it has the power to not only transform how you see yourself and how other people see yourself. See you. See you, yeah. But also it has the power to align with how you how you really feel and and I've seen a lot people that they feel that something doesn't match in their life, that they they they want to be uh something and someone and they don't represent these values or this or how they they see themselves, and I think a good haircut with also other things, but a good haircut can help you view yourself this way and align with how you're feeling, and also helps you to express the way you are more confident, more confidently, yeah.
SPEAKER_00More confidently. Um I think when I was going through some some personal issues, some issues with depression and stuff, there's a lack of of self-appreciation or self-respect. And in terms of clothes, I would just kind of wear whatever I had, and I just kind of would put things on and I would do the mental exercise of saying, it's just clothes. It doesn't matter, it's just a t-shirt, it's just whatever. And I would do the same thing with my hair. This might hurt you, but I would just cut my own hair at home, and I would just grab my my beer trimming machine and just put it on a setting and just go zzz and just buzz my own hair. And it wasn't until I walked out of your house that first time with my new haircut, and I actually felt like I could kind of like impose myself on the world. It's crazy. And then, and not only that, I was like, hey, this is you, this is this is this is who you are. It's like a new version of myself. And getting those compliments from friends being like, oh man, that looks incredible, that looks so good, that looks whatever. I think it's super, super valuable. And I think it's actually worth paying, oftentimes, with with people of at your level of of the game. It's not a cheap haircut necessarily if you go to someone that really knows what they're doing, because you're not paying for that time, you're paying for years and years of experience. What changed from when you started to till now where you're at that level? Like, what has this journey been for you in terms of like understanding what people need? And do people even know what they want or what they need?
SPEAKER_01Definitely not. Uh they yeah, they don't have the expertise that I have to know what you need or what you what will make you look mm good and well with your face and features. And what have changed to me is that for me is that I've um got to a point where I don't really have to make an effort to see what looks good on someone. Because yes, I've developed that expertise and that know-how to be able to see someone and almost immediately see what they should wear or they should look like basing b based on also their deliver or of everything or as a whole package, yeah, yeah. Kind of how they they how they move, how they are, their their flow, you know.
SPEAKER_00Well you're even evaluating the way someone moves if their haircut is appropriate.
SPEAKER_01How am I gonna stamp a haircut on on someone that maybe be with their features it's gonna look good, but is it's uh haircut for uh someone with another vibe, you know? Yeah, so it's important to have this in in mind.
SPEAKER_00Are you sorry, are are you walking around and you see someone and like are you walking around look and like obviously not on purpose, but you're walking around, let's say, here in Madrid going, that's not the haircut for you, that's the haircut for you. Oof, that's really far off from what you need. That's not working for you.
SPEAKER_01Sometimes, sometimes, yes. And this um happens to me with um also the face as a also a makeup artist. I see where they should have more volume, more projection, where they should hide some volumes and you know, and so I can't keep myself from looking at people and seeing looking at people, yeah, looking at people and see, yeah, they should trim a little bit here and put some volume here and uh change these proportion proportions there. So yeah, that's a little bit of an illness that you that you develop now with.
SPEAKER_00Um that makes sense. I've always just gone to random places to get my hair cut, and my experience has always been the same. You walk in, maybe wait for a few minutes, and they say, What do you want? And you say, This, this, and this, and they go, Okay, and then they just do it, and you kind of leave, and they just go, Whatever, that's the next client. I need another one, I need another one.
SPEAKER_01I remember that that was that was what you were saying in in in that episode that I watched, and I thought he needs-I'm the I'm the guy for for this this guy.
SPEAKER_00Um, but then with you, I what I thought was really cool was that I realized how much of a collaborative experience it actually is. So I wanted to ask you, how do you deal with what a client wants versus what you think, or what let's be real, what you know is best for this client. Because I remember one time I said to you, I want to go really short and diet blonde, kind of like a Frank Ocean. And you said, This was so funny, you were like, You're not alternative enough for that. And I was like, fuck, I think you're right. I think you're totally right. I'm not like I think I would have regretted it, but I think sorry, what what I want to ask you is this how much of that relationship with a client is you listening to what they want versus you being like, this is what you need according to your face shape. So, how much do you have to kind of be a benevolent dictator, let's say, um, when dealing with clients?
SPEAKER_01Yesterday I was asked this in a re in the radio.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01On the radio. On the radio, yes.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I thought it was an original question.
SPEAKER_01No, but but this is it's very interesting because this is just the second, only the second time I've been asked this. I'll take it. Um but yes, I think in my head there's a a perfect haircut for you, and we can move around a little bit. And if if what you propose is something so far in one direction, I can tell you, well, we can get a little bit closer to that middle point. And if you want to go uh too far in the other direction, we can fluctuate a little bit around this frame, you know?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so you're you're steering people. There's like a psychological, yeah, it's very psychological, right? You're kind of like uh like almost like a therapist in that regard. You're you're making sure people don't venture too far away from what you think their face.
SPEAKER_01That's it, definitely. We can we can go a little bit shorter on the sides, but keep the length, the ideal length on the top. We can go a little bit shorter on the back, but you know, keeping this um essence. Or we can go a little bit more mullet, but you know, but not removing the the curls in your case. I'm talking about you. Where we can move around, but shave your head.
SPEAKER_00Well is there is there a haircut that you refuse to do?
SPEAKER_01No, I'm open to everything, and and uh since I work in in productions and editorial too, I love to do crazy stuff and creative stuff. And sometimes the things you get to do are not the things that look the best in the model. But on the model, for the model, yeah. For the model, but sometimes you have to actively decide not to go to the best version or or the best looking for her or for him, but including the art in that equation, you know. So sometimes you decide to go for the artistic version or option. And not only for editorials or creative projects, but also for real life, and there's people that they don't want to be the the most do you know the miss, the misses?
SPEAKER_00Like from beauty pageants, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So there's there's women that they want to be like the misses.
SPEAKER_00That want to be, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that want to want to be like the misses. And always very beautiful and amazing looking and turn heads when they go through. But sometimes people want to express themselves in the point they are at right now. And this sometimes requires to not be the most beautified version of yourself because you are not feeling you are not feeling or no you don't you don't feel like grabbing attention in a way of well I don't this is uh we're entering a no no I think this is a dimension, a difficult dimension. But well they they they I I think they don't they they don't want to grab attention in this um I wouldn't say grab attention, sorry, I would say they don't want to um receive as much attention as they because they want to they want to make a statement that they are reinforcing in in inside themselves and these need to be reinforced and and and I'm all about that too.
SPEAKER_00It's yeah, it's I mean it's just another element of empowering someone to feel like they want to feel, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but um I think it's important to have these faces uh to reinforce that things that you need to to to to make your own, always with the perspective of healing yourself or incorporating things that that you lack in your personality or in your yeah how you are or how you feel? But it's easy to lose yourself in that creative space and becoming like a weird version of yourself that again people can do whatever they want, but is it the most healthy to bring your image to a point where a psychologist would say it's not the reflex or uh of a healthy person?
SPEAKER_00The reflection.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, reflection, yes. Do you get what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I totally totally get what you're saying. Is there a specific trend hairwise that has happened in the past few years that you can't stand? Or one, let me ask the other one, or one that you go, oh thank you. I love that people are are trying to do this more. Some things I don't want a diplomatic answer, I want like your subjective point of view.
SPEAKER_01Some things don't look good. But I like them, you know, the stripey highlights or chunky haircuts don't look good. But there's people that go for that look and they they you see that they are creative people and they are in fashion and and I love that as long as it's an experimental thing and you don't get to believe that you're a tiger or that kind of things, you know. But uh yeah, because some some uh hair stuff are weird and are this animal print that we humans don't have hair like that. It's okay if you want to perform it for a time or or even go for that image the whole your whole life as a brand thing, but uh they don't look good. So I I I love them as a performance, but if some people says say I want to have something that fits me and makes me look good, so I've seen this and they show me chunky highlights, I'll I'll say okay if if you are Marianne from Lapiharaginki, uh I love that you go for this. But if you are a girl who wants to try to look cute and the the the best version of her their herself, it's nothing, it's not for you. So I love both things.
SPEAKER_00Crazy and is there a a particular celebrity or or famous person whose hair you absolutely love? You go, oh my god, this man or this woman always is just so on point.
SPEAKER_01The first people that comes to my mind is Kim and Kylie.
SPEAKER_00Oh the the Kardashians.
SPEAKER_01Yes. But it's because I personally love both. How Chris Appleton her hairdresser, Kim's hairdresser, does her hair, her color, her extensions beautifully done. And I also love how Kylie wears her hair with that volume, with that vibe. I love it, but it's not the most creative thing ever. I mean, but it doesn't have to be, right? It just no, I'll I I love it, but I also love here in Spain. Actually, no. No, I don't have an actually uh-uh.
SPEAKER_02Um I wanted to ask. I don't want to the answer was me, dude. No, I don't want to I don't want to shade my um workmates.
SPEAKER_01Or throw shade, yeah. Yeah. Because they they they work nicely, but also they work as the celebrity is asking. Right. And here in Spain we go for a very conservative you you know Aitana, I like I like Aitana because I love how has changed how she has changed. Yeah, how she has changed the the vibe.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Do you think that as people age their hairstyle kind of needs to change with them? Is this something that we've just kind of accepted as a society? Like when we talked about the mullet for me several several months ago, and I never thought I would ever have a mullet, to be fair, but once you you proposed it and I was and I was a bit I was a bit hesitant, you said, but hey, we're gonna give you a mature adult mullet. We're not gonna shave the sides off to look like a 20-year-old Australian guy. But is that something that you think should evolve with you?
SPEAKER_01Actually, I'm quite against that. Oh I I I've seen that older people that has changed that have have changed a lot their hair through their life.
SPEAKER_00Sorry, that have changed their hair a lot.
SPEAKER_01That have changed their hair a lot through their life. It doesn't age well.
SPEAKER_00You see pictures they sorry, don't age well, yeah. They older people who have changed their hair a lot throughout their lives. Oh, you say it doesn't age well. Sorry, their decision okay, yeah, yeah, they can't, my bad.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and also when you see when you see pictures and and you see them in real life, you see how much they have changed, and this is something is related to you know, uh you were that way when you were younger, and now you have changed a lot. So yeah, that it doesn't age well, a lot of changing. And when people when you see people with 20 and uh their look has maintained sorry, when you see people in their twenties or that are 20, not with with 20, no, in their twenties, and and and then you see the with see them with in their in their 60s, if they keep more or less the same essence, it's what I think it would is what looks uh uh more maintained, you know? Yeah, so I think it has to change a little bit to fit their needs. If you have less hair or you have more grace or you wan you want to make your color a little bit softer, okay, that can be done. But change a lot is tricky.
SPEAKER_00I wanted to ask you, you brought up the Kardashians. I think the Kardashians are obviously incredibly influential, and they've ushered in this kind of era of how you're quote supposed to look, or they they've ushered in a new beauty standard, right? That changes, I don't know, of every 10 years, but there's always influential people that really affect at a global level how people want to look like, right? And they create this standard. Do you think that we're placing too much emphasis on trying to look like a certain um trying to adapt to this new beauty standard and with the rise of not just more innocuous, let's say, processes like Botox or other more invasive ones with of facial surgeries and plastic surgeries, do you think we're we're going a bit too far to try to mold ourselves to this standard?
SPEAKER_01In some point, I would have said At some point. At some point I would have said no. But now I think maybe a little bit. Because I sometimes see people in social media getting procedures that I see okay it looks softer and uh with more harmony and okay yes it look technically better but it wasn't necessary actually. So I think people is uh people are people are no is having issues with people are having okay people are having issues with not looking standard uh even if they if if it's nothing wrong with how they look. If you if you are pretty with a thinner lip and it's not the standard but looks good and looks it looks good, it look it it looks good and in harmony with your face, why do you have to change it? I get that if you have a nose that is to the main character of your face, main characteristic, or yeah, yeah. I I get that you you want to make it a little bit less um prominent protagonista, how would you say?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, uh to have less um protagonism or yeah, protagonism, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay, I get that. But for example, um Blake Lively I love this nose job because was it necessary? Maybe not. But uh definitely makes her the rest of her face stand out more.
SPEAKER_00I I always have kind of an issue with with this aspect because is it better to just preach that kind of acceptance and feeling good about yourself regardless of of your features? And at what point would you would you even advise someone to change something surgically about their face? Is it like okay, this is a huge insecurity for you, and it's really holding you back, and you just hate this one thing about yourself, so you decide to change it?
SPEAKER_01You know, I think both things can be done. We can talk or or I th wish we could talk objectively without hurting people's feelings. And I think we also have to work on acceptance and on mental health. And if everyone works on their mental health and go to a plastic surgeon or to a hairstylist or whoever, from a perspective of look, I I am okay how I am, I feel good, I can go out, I don't compare myself, I feel pretty, but I see I have eyes, and I see my nose is the main characteristic of my face, and and I would love to the the other features to to stand out more, or I see that I don't have breast, and I am a woman and a woman, and I would love to have a little bit of a bigger breast for my own feeling of feminity or you know, or in in in that interpretation.
SPEAKER_00Well like in your interpretation of how you Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like at what point is it just something that I have the freedom to do as I want.
SPEAKER_01That's it. I I uh that's my point. That n if you do things for you because you see that you want to have something a little bit bigger or smaller or that way, but you are okay the way you look, I think it's a good approach to to do so. But if you go to a hairdresser or a plastic surgeon or whoever to get your hair bust or you get the biggest breast in earth because you have on earth, because you have that issue in your head where you don't feel comfortable and you think that's gonna make you happy, that's a mistake. I think you you we should be able to do whatever from a mental health state, you know? What if you are healthy, I think you can do whatever. But if you think that's gonna fix your problems, that I think that's the problem.
SPEAKER_00Right. Should we cut my hair?
SPEAKER_01Yes, let's go.
SPEAKER_00Let's do it. Okay, this is what you're what you're working with. It's been a you know, you're the only person since since we met. You are the only how how long ago was this? Maybe three years ago? Yeah. Something like that. You are the only person that has cut my hair. Nice. It's an honor. It's an honor. So this is what just I want to see, I want the people to see this is what he's dealing with. So we're just gonna do a quick cut and we're gonna set quite long, huh? Set up the chair and see um and see what we can do. Ready? All right, let's go. What's the hardest part about the process of cutting someone's hair out of curiosity?
SPEAKER_01Understanding the people, understanding you, understanding what's your expectations and yeah, what we're gonna do. So, yeah, the execution part is the easier. The easiest.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00So you can actually say the easier part. Okay. I mean that that also works.
SPEAKER_01Let's uh figure out a little bit what they're doing today because we haven't talked about that.
SPEAKER_00I wanna go shorter. Okay, without it being too short, of course. I wanna my issue is that like the volume here grows at a crazy rate compared to to other parts. So whenever my hair is like a bit unkept or unkempt, excuse me, it very quickly loses the dimensions that I want it to have. You know? So I wanna do something, I want to keep the curls, but at the same time, I want to go, and I'm and I'm and I'm skinny right now, so I want to like not have uh like a broccoli head.
SPEAKER_01Okay. I'm I'm happy that people can uh have a look to what we always do.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, kind of a behind the scenes of the process.
SPEAKER_01And I've I'm sure and I've seen that um people noticed and realized uh your makeover since the day one. I've been reading some comments.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, people people were really surprised with the with the change of look. And I think it's what we were talking about earlier in the episode. With that change of look comes a change in your demeanor and a change in the way that you carry yourself, which then translates into how you act upon the world. You know, when you feel more confident, you you act upon the world in a different way than when you're kind of like maybe a bit insecure, even in in things like negotiating a contract or speaking up in a meeting or whatever the case may be, right? It's about confidence, and I think that a good haircut, much like having good like having good English, gives you more of a confidence. Yeah, it gives you it gives you more confidence for sure. Like I think a lot of people that listen to the podcast have confidence confidence issues when it comes to speaking English at work, or maybe they work with like some native speakers and they feel less than when they're on a call or with a client or even in just a meeting with their peers or with their boss or whatever. And I think the role of confidence is hugely important. Yes, not just in in how you look at yourself, but in in how you act as well.
SPEAKER_01I deal with that too, but well.
SPEAKER_00What's something that you're you're not that confident in that you would like to feel more confident about?
SPEAKER_01I think I just have to practice more.
SPEAKER_00Um when when I suggested the idea of this episode, you told me that you weren't super confident. How did you did you know right away that you were gonna say yes, or did you wrestle No, I I knew I was gonna say yes. Ah, okay.
SPEAKER_01I love it. I love to to try new things and push my boundaries.
SPEAKER_00Get out of the comfort zone. I feel like the word or the concept of comfort zone has been maybe um taken hostage by the world of like self-help dudes with ice baths and everything, but it's for everyone. Don't let anyone make you feel like the comfort zone stuff. Because it's true. I feel like recently with um with my other podcast, we've been doing live shows around Spain and theaters and stuff like that. And the first time that I got on stage, I have no stage experience in terms of like doing plays or anything like that. I have a little bit of experience playing in bands, but I was always the drummer, so I was always kind of in the back just doing my thing. But standing in front of a stage, sorry, standing on a stage in front of like 300 people that came to see you and and and that are expecting um to laugh, to enjoy themselves, and kind of expecting something more than what they normally get from me was really difficult to wrap my head around.
SPEAKER_02Really?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and the first day we did the show, we debuted it in Madrid, which is where I live, and a lot of people that I knew were coming to the show, and we had written this show, but we had never really done the show in its entirety. We just kind of wrote the individual bits and did a few bits together, but we didn't even know how long it would last. We told people it would be 90 minutes, so an hour and a half. It ended up being like two hours and 15 minutes.
SPEAKER_01I enjoyed the Dalamot.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. I I I so did I, and and the feedback that we got was really cool. I think also because the expectations were low, in the sense that people assumed we were going to do a live podcast, that it would be being and my friends sitting on a couch, having a conversation, maybe bringing some guests. But we knew from the beginning that we didn't want to do that and we wanted to push ourselves and push our boundaries and do something that we weren't necessarily comfortable with. And that first night, that first night that we we did the show, I don't think I slept the night before. I was so stressed, and it reminded me of the first time I ever taught a class of like eight people. My first job ever was at a language school, and I was gonna teach teenagers for like four hours. We were doing these things called summer intensives where we have teenagers come in. I had a class of eight teenagers and I was gonna be with them for four hours with a 15-minute break. And the night before, I just watched every single minute of the clock go by. And I was doing all the things of okay, if I go to sleep now, I'll sleep eight hours. If I go to sleep now, I'll sleep seven. That's okay. When if I go to sleep now, it'll be six, that's still manageable. When it started getting to five hours and then four hours, I was panicking because I was already not comfortable with the idea of standing in front of a class and kind of being exposed for maybe my lack of knowledge or my lack of know-how.
SPEAKER_01And and it was it was the class I think went fine, and yeah, and when you do it, you you you you realize that it's not such a big deal.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but it's hard to tell your nervous system that I guess, and I've always been kind of an anxious person, even though did you cut yourself? I think so. Oh.
SPEAKER_02Wow.
SPEAKER_01Oh no. Is it's in the same spot as ever. Uh as always, as always. Yes, so my finger is hard on that area. You have a you have a callus. It's not gonna even bleed.
SPEAKER_00You have like no irrigation to that part of your thing, so yeah. But then I was talking to my buddy about this, and I think all of those years of teaching kids in a classroom and standing and adults as well, just standing in front of people and just having no way out and knowing that the only way out is through through this and just kind of doing my best, those years as a teacher prepared me for being on stage, right? Like it was always very intimidating for me to be the guy that people are are looking towards that for for knowledge about the English language or for kind of like um the way I'm teaching a class. And I had a very similar anxiety right before these shows, and then 10 shows later, I felt like an expert. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't say expert, but I I was confident, I was confident.
SPEAKER_01Uh another one? I've just seen the first one.
SPEAKER_00Oh, you saw you were there at that first one. Yes, uh-huh, right. I remember seeing you, yeah. I remember seeing I remember seeing you in the audience, yeah, yeah, with your friend, and I was like, oh, there he is.
SPEAKER_01And I I really laughed and I enjoyed.
SPEAKER_00So I enjoyed it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I enjoyed it.
SPEAKER_00So incredibly stressful. I and I always think it's more stressful when there's people that you know in the audience. And talking to my buddy, he's he said the opposite. He's like, no, I find it so comforting because his wife was there, his his close friends were there, and I rather just be doing it in front of strangers because I feel like, well, no, it's a stranger. If I let them down, who cares? I don't know who this is, and I'll probably never see him again, to see him or her again. But I did it in front of you and in front of some other friends, in in front of my partner, in front of my brother, in front of different people. And I was terrified. And when we came out to the to the stage, when we came onto stage, we we do a a musical number where we do a little silly dance and we just have a music playing. And I remember walking onto the stage with the lights off, getting ready for like the reveal, because there's we come out in in complete darkness, and then suddenly at a certain point of the song, the the spotlights hit us and we are kind of revealed to the audience. Yeah, and I remember it was like the sound of the audience cheering with the music and people clapping, and it was it was like a slap in the face, it was like a reality. It was like, oh, you're doing this now, you know, and I feel like now I try to find those moments more. Usually I think, or in the past, I would have shied away and I would try to avoid those uncomfortable moments. And and this applies, I think, to giving a presentation at your job if you're not maybe used to public speaking, or or whatever the case may be. But now I think like through through just sheer reps, through just through repetitions, you kind of get really used to that. And it's so cool now to be used to things that before were really intimidating, that went away really quickly. And I always say the first hundred times that I said to myself, I don't care what people think, I was just lying. I was just lying to myself, and then the next hundred times that you say that, you kind of start believing it, and then you actually feel that way, you know. And I think this concept of building um alternative narratives in your head has really helped me in life in general. So this is I think this is good advice. If you tell yourself that your English isn't very good, you're gonna believe that more and you're gonna look for confirmation that you're right. So next time you have that thought of like, oh, my English is really inadequate or it's not at the level where it should be, although you might be objectively right, I think it's valuable to tell yourself, hey, it's not that bad. Hey, if I were in a situation in which I needed to use it, I would be okay. And you kind of slowly start building that narrative and eventually it just becomes true. I've also always had this with the perception of myself as a eres un desastre. No, like you're not good at organizing yourself. Oh, you're so um disperso, right? You're so kind of uh uh all over the place. And then when you start kind of making that your own truth, yeah, people are gonna adopt that same truth about you, and other people are gonna start saying to you, es que de mi son desastre, or ah, he's so unorganized, or this. So over the last few years, and and with the help of my therapist, I've I've worked on on alternative narratives, and at first it's it's it feels a little bit ridiculous, but then you start believing it. Dude, I hate when I see someone giving a presentation in English, and the first thing that they say is sorry for my English. Yes. Because like I wasn't I wasn't really thinking about it, but now if you start by saying, Oh, sorry, sorry for my English, my English isn't very good, now that's what I believe about you.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And so you end up working against yourself and you're already establishing the perception of yourself that other people should have. You know, it's like when you're when you're at school or at university and you're kind of giving a presentation, and there's a slide in your presentation that you took out or that you messed up or whatever, and you say, Oh, sorry, there was a slide here that said that don't tell me. No one noticed. No one noticed. No, no one no one knew the slide that that you were missing, no one, nobody cared. And now people are aware of it. So that's that's something that I need you to take away from this episode. Never start a presentation with sorry for my English or my English isn't that good, please bear with me. Just just don't do it, just be confident. If somebody is confidently speaking, that confidence radiates and people just kind of accept it. So work on your alternative narratives, please.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So this is what it's looking like now. A cut just because it was gonna be way too long, obviously. What do you think, Ruben? Is this like worthy for L'Oreal? I haven't mentioned it, but Ruben works for L'Oreal, by the way. Because I'm worth it. Am I gonna get a L'Oreal campaign with this new haircut?
SPEAKER_01Well, maybe the curls one. You have nice curls. Look, look at these.
SPEAKER_00Look at that one. I can't even I can't see it, but I'll trust your judgment. Um, thanks for doing this, dude. I feel like I've picked your brain enough. I've taken a lot of time out of your day already, so I I appreciate it. And I hope I hope that um the listeners also just enjoyed this little glimpse into your world. And I'm actually really enjoying this series of conversations where I just speak to friends of mine that have completely different jobs, and I just get to ask questions that I've been thinking about for a while. I hope you enjoyed the episode. And don't comment on if it looks bad, if only if you think it looks good, which I'm I'm sure is the case.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00And uh, and yeah, thanks for listening. See you guys next week. Bye.
SPEAKER_01See you. Bye.