Do THIS to Sound More Natural

Your English is fine. But something still feels a bit off, right? In this episode I want to show you something I learned at university that completely changed the way I understand how language works. It's one of those things that once you start paying attention, you'll see it everywhere. This episode is all about something I like to call "pre-loading" and how you can use to really refine what you say and how it is recieved. 

Transcript

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So I've noticed there's this thing that happens to a lot of people who are working on their English, especially once you hit that intermediate level. You know the grammar and you've got a lot of vocabulary in the bank. You can build sentences, and most of what you're saying is okay, but something still feels a bit off. It's like you say something in a meeting or to a friend, and the reaction you get isn't quite what you expected. It's not wrong, but it's not landing the way you thought it would or that you wanted it to land. I think what's going on most of the time is that what you're saying might be a bit too direct, a bit too blunt, maybe it's a tad confrontational, unbox a tad confrontational, and you aren't really aware most of the time. It might be an issue with how your words are being interpreted. When we speak, we are not just communicating information, right? We are managing how that information is going to be received. We are shaping the tone, the intention, and the social energy behind what we're actually saying. And we're doing this all the time. Often when we learn a second language, we're not as in tune with this aspect of communication. Because in order to really be aware of it, we need to understand how native speakers of the language do this. And in English, I think we give more importance to this than in Spanish. It's like the English language is scared of being confrontational or too direct. So it wants to soften everything. And if you're not doing this, even if your English is correct, it won't feel as natural. So in this episode, I want to show you something that shifted the way, que cambió la manera, that shifted the way I understand how language actually works. Something I learned at university that sounds a bit academic at first, but is actually really practical once you see it in action. So we're going to look at what's going on behind the words, and most importantly, how you can start using this to sound more natural, more aware, and more in control of how you come across when you speak. So let's do this. You are listening to episode 48 of season two of English with Dane. Hit it. So at university, I had a class called Pragmatics. I'm not gonna lie, I thought it would be boring and that I'd just be daydreaming my way through this class, but it ended up being my favorite class by far, de lejos, by far, because it's the part of linguistics that studies how meaning is actually created in context, not just from the words themselves. So it's what's going on behind the words and how social factors shape what those words end up meaning, what those words end up meaning. Think that semantics deals with what the sentence means, while pragmatics deals with what the speaker means by saying it. A good example is this. Let's take the sentence, it's cold in here. On paper, it's just a statement about temperature. That's semantics. The speaker means that he or she thinks it is cold in this room. But in real life, nobody really says that just to report on the weather inside a room, right? What they usually mean is something like, can you close the window or turn the heating on? Or even why is nobody doing anything about this? But you understand that already, without anyone explaining it to you. That's pragmatics. It's your brain using context, using the situation, the relationship, the tone, etc., to figure out the real message behind the words. And once you start noticing it, you realize this is happening all the time. People are constantly saying one thing and meaning something slightly different. And I think this is a very under-talked about area for people learning a language. So, what I want to do is go through something I learned in this class, something that really opened my eyes, because I think it will help you feel like you're using the language the way I know you want to use it. I want to talk about something I like to call preloading. Preloading. In pragmatics, they call it hedging, and there's also something called mitigation, but there's a lot of overlap, so let's combine the terms and just call it preloading to make things easier. So, preloading is when you signal your intention before delivering a message so the listener knows how to interpret what's coming. You can think of it as a way of preparing the ground or reducing the tension and guiding the other person toward the meaning you want them to take from what you're about to say. Let's look at some practical examples of different ways to preload and what you can accomplish with them. The first one is preloading to reduce certainty, reducir certeza, preloading to reduce certainty. So things like I might be wrong, but I could be missing something, but from what I can tell, blah blah blah, or I could be off, but what this type of preloading does is it makes things not feel like an attack. You're signaling that you don't want the person to take it as a definitive judgment. You're kind of lowering your authority on purpose so the person doesn't feel judged. If you say, I might be wrong here, but I think we're focusing on the wrong problem. So lowering your certainty, you are removing the feeling of judgment, and you are inviting the person to engage instead of defend, right? Think about it without preloading. If someone just said to you, I think we're focusing on the wrong problem, that feels a bit harsh. It feels like you would get at least a little defensive inside. It's a bit more conflictive. This is a lot of what speaking English at work is, isn't it? It's communicating differing opinions while trying to be on the same team and without trying to attack anyone's perspective or anyone's work. That's reserved for afterwork while you have a drink with that co-worker you actually like. So even just knowing a few of these ways of preloading to reduce certainty can not just come in handy or be useful, but make you blend in with how native speakers of the language tend to communicate. So write some of those down. We had, I might be wrong, but I could be missing something, but from what I can tell, I could be off, but okay, now let's look at ways of preloading to soften requests so they don't feel like orders. You want someone to do something for you, but you don't want it to sound too direct. The first one that pops into my head is, would you mind? Right? Would you mind turning down the volume a bit? But let's go through a few that you can throw in there to not always be saying, Would you mind, would you mind? One that I really like is if you get a chance, very natural sounding. If you get a chance, could you send me that list we found? You're saying, hey, I want you to do this, but it's on your terms, if you get a chance. It's not even when you get a chance, which you can also say, but it adds a bit more urgency. If you get a chance, also entertains a scenario in which you never send it because you don't get a chance to. It's even more free. Send me that file. Okay, that's a that's a command. Could you send me that file? A request. If you get a chance, could you send me that file? That's a very low pressure request. You can use if you get a sec, sec the segundo, second. If you get a sec, can you check that document I uploaded? That sounds great. So play around with those. If you get a chance, if you get a sec, or when you get a chance, when you get a sec. When you get a sec, could you find me this contact information? Perfect. Alright, let's go through some ways to preload to prepare for disagreement. This one is key for work. Disagreements at work can be tricky, so we need to soften what we're going to say. We can't just blurt out, so that we can't just blurt out, I think you're wrong. No, that's that's too aggressive. We need to have some language to bring up what we're going to say in a softer way. You can say things like, I get where you're coming from, I just think, or I get your point, I just think I see what you're saying, but maybe blah blah blah, and I'm right there with you, but I think like that last one, I'm right there with you, but I think blah blah blah blah. These express that I'm aligned with you before I challenge what you're saying. So I get where you're coming from, I just think we need to handle it a different way. I get your point, I just think we can't make this a priority right now. I see what you're saying, but maybe it's a bit short-sighted for what we need. I'm right there with you, but I think it's too aggressive an approach. So now you've acknowledged what they think, you've validated how they feel, and you can go ahead and introduce a different opinion or a perspective. You've softened what you wanted to say, like a native speaker would. Good job. So far we've covered preloading to reduce certainty. I could be wrong here, but we've covered preloading to soften requests. If you get a sec, could you? And preloading to prepare for disagreement. I get where you're coming from. I just let's take a look now at preloading to downplay importance. To downplay downplay means to present something as less important, less serious, or less intense than it actually is. So you're reducing the importance of something to keep the reaction calm. So things like, it's probably nothing but nothing major, but it's not a big deal, but so you're almost giving someone permission to stay calm before they hear anything else. It's probably nothing, but I noticed something strange with the data. Nothing major, but you kind of interrupted him a lot in the meeting. It's not a big deal, but I think I left the lights on after closing up. You are shrinking the importance to then deliver something that could trigger a reaction, but that now feels very manageable. So write a few of those down and try them out. One more before finishing up. Let's talk about preloading to frame something as personal perspective. So instead of sounding objective or absolute, what you communicate instead is that this idea is anchored in your personal experience. We don't want to sound too direct or too absolute in English. So you can say things like, from my side, or from what I can tell, or from where I'm standing, which literally means from your perspective, right? From where I'm standing, or I just feel like if you're gonna go for a more casual thing in a more casual setting, or I kind of feel like if you want to also reduce certainty at the same time to soften even more. I kind of feel like. I kind of feel like he was a bit of an asshole for most of the trip. Super natural sounding sentence. From what I can tell, this type of solution ends up being, ends up being more costly in the long run. From where I'm standing, she didn't say anything out of place. In that last one, we're both preloading to frame something as personal perspective while also preloading to prepare for disagreement. From where I'm standing, she didn't say anything out of place. There are, of course, tons and tons of ways to preload for tons of different things. You can preload for getting someone to agree with what you're saying, for example. You can say, what I think happened, and I'm sure you'll agree, is blah blah blah. Essay, and I'm sure you'll agree, is preloading the message to be more agreeable. I'm sure you'll agree. You can preload for managing expectations. This might not make much sense, but you can preload for minimizing authority or reducing hierarchy. I'm no expert, but so there are a bunch to choose from. What I want you to take from this episode isn't necessarily a few phrases to throw in here or there, but I want you to just start to listen for these mechanisms more. I want you to start noticing them out there in the wild, whether it's at work or watching TV or even on this podcast. I want you to slowly become more aware of how they are used and how people speak after they use these mechanisms. So write some down, take the ones you think sound like you, and practice some sentences out loud. Before you know it, you'll start to throw them in more often, and the way you speak will change for the better. I feel like a broken record, but small changes over time add up. Sounding more like a native speaker or sounding more natural or whatever you want to call it is actually lots of small little things, little bits that you add to the bag. There's no one simple thing, no easy hack. Just keep on building and you'll make huge leaps. Trust the process. Alright, that's it for this episode of English with Dane. Follow the show on Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen, and don't be shy. Leave a comment, ask a question, share a thought. It's all good. I want to hear from you. Alright, thanks for listening. Have a good week. Later, you can't get a little bit more.