But He Doesn’t Hit Me

Madiha Schader joins us today to talk about her experience learning early on that she married someone who wouldn't be safe for her, yet how she continued to hide the details from her family and friends. The cultural reasons she did this are very clear in her story. She’s not unique, but what she focuses on today is that abusive domestic relationships don’t always include physical violence. Mental, emotional, verbal abuse, financial/social isolation, and unreasonable demands from a place of control that endanger a person’s psychosocial wellbeing are equally suffocating and a matter of life and death. 

Madiha’s freedom actually came through her own son and her body. Find out how her closest friends identified what was happening and supported her until she was able to decide it was time to save herself. 

If you know someone you suspect is in danger of physical violence or mental oppression, ASK her. Then help her using the resources listed below. If you’re someone who is in danger, having kids WILL NOT change an abuser towards you and might direct abuse toward your kid(s).

Note 1: pronunciation correction Madiha Schader (SH ay der)

Note 2: If you are in danger, make sure to “clear history” on your browsers if you’re searching for help. Use the phone numbers we listed below and delete your call history if you have access to a phone.

Links:

1. NISA helpline for Muslim women’s helpline: 1-888-315-NISA (6472)
2. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
3. Elderly Asian woman attacked unprovoked: https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2021/03/12/asian-grandma-reportedly-knocked-unconscious-in-random-attack/amp/ 
4. Elderly Asian woman attacked unprovoked and strikes back: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/elderly-asian-woman-attacked-san-francisco-fights-back-sends-alleged-attacker-to-hospital/ 
5. Chinese Filipino man attacked unprovoked: https://www.asianjournal.com/usa/northerncalifornia/filipino-chinese-man-attacked-during-lunch-break-in-san-francisco/ 
6. President’s call for Congress to pass anti-hate legislation: https://www.cnbc.com/2021/03/19/biden-urges-congress-to-pass-hate-crime-legislation-over-violence-against-asian-americans.html 
7. Muslim Jewish Advisory Council to send a message to your representative to pass the Jabara-Heyer act to call a hate crime a hate crime: https://actnow.ajc.org/LZloT1U 
8. Web: www.mommyingwhilemuslim.com
9. Email: