WEBVTT 00:00:00.550 --> 00:00:01.060 Hey there. 00:00:01.659 --> 00:00:04.719 Thanks for joining us at risen King Church for our weekly podcast. 00:00:05.290 --> 00:00:06.759 We hope you experienced God's today. 00:00:07.330 --> 00:00:13.900 Make sure you visit us@risenking.life to take all your next steps and follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and youtube. 00:00:14.439 --> 00:00:15.220 Enjoyed the message. 00:00:16.269 --> 00:00:18.539 This is our third week in our series on emotions. 00:00:18.949 --> 00:00:25.589 And quite often when I do this series, people come up to me and say, you know, I really don't need emotional healing. 00:00:26.519 --> 00:00:51.509 And I always find that the ones who say that needed the most because they're not in touch with how broken they really are, and they're not aware of how the bankruptcy emotionally is coming out in behaviors and attitudes and actions that are anything but the fullness of what Christ has for us as believers. 00:00:51.511 --> 00:01:06.000 And so when I began to realize how broken I was and I, I, I crashed and burned, I began to ask the Lord, please leave me and guide me into a place of being both emotionally mature and also wise and healthy. 00:01:06.480 --> 00:01:34.709 And he took me to the scriptures and one of the scriptures that is probably one of the, for me, the key descriptors of emotional healing is from Ephesians chapter four now it starts around verse 21 about halfway through where Paul says the truth is in Jesus to put off your old self which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires. 00:01:34.709 --> 00:01:55.439 So here Paul says that if you are a believer that one of the key things for your emotional and spiritual maturity is to recognize that you have an old self and old self that is attached to and attracted to your old way of living and thinking. 00:01:56.069 --> 00:02:15.990 And that in every aspect of that old self, you are corrupt and the desires and the needs that you have, which are legitimate, real desires and needs that every human has because of this old self, every one of those desires has been corrupted. 00:02:16.680 --> 00:02:24.780 Now your emotions have been corrupted that your your needs in the way you, you, you broker your own needs as a corruption. 00:02:25.319 --> 00:02:30.870 See that the issue many of us don't realize is that we're not sinners because we sin. 00:02:32.250 --> 00:02:39.120 We sin because we're sinners and we have to deal with that old nature. 00:02:39.121 --> 00:02:46.830 Now this is where the apostle Paul is making it clear that just being religious is not enough. 00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:50.520 You cannot rehabilitate your old self. 00:02:51.030 --> 00:02:52.979 You can't simply reform it. 00:02:53.520 --> 00:02:57.449 As a matter of fact, it would be like putting ornaments on a Christmas tree. 00:02:58.139 --> 00:03:13.539 You know that the has been cut off from its source of life and it looks pretty until all the, all the, you know, the pine all dries up and starts falling off and then you've got ornaments on a dead tree. 00:03:14.289 --> 00:03:20.650 And so Paul says, the only thing you can do with your old self is to put it off. 00:03:20.651 --> 00:03:28.840 Like you put off a dirty kind of shirt or a dirty pair of pants and you put it off, you take it off another place. 00:03:28.841 --> 00:03:31.930 He says, it is only worthy to be crucified. 00:03:32.889 --> 00:03:38.379 You must die to your old self in order to live in Christ. 00:03:38.381 --> 00:03:40.960 And so Paul says, here's how you live in Christ. 00:03:41.259 --> 00:03:42.669 You have to be renewed. 00:03:42.669 --> 00:03:47.409 He says in the spirit of your minds, here's what he means by this. 00:03:48.490 --> 00:04:00.520 Your emotions are a reflection or a diagnostic tool of what you really believe and what you really value and what you really trust in. 00:04:00.520 --> 00:04:08.650 So the battle is actually for the way you think and for the way you believe, for what you commit to before what you value. 00:04:08.949 --> 00:04:13.449 Because if what you believe is not right, what you feel will not be true. 00:04:14.409 --> 00:04:18.759 If what you believe is not true, then what you feel will not be real. 00:04:19.449 --> 00:04:28.959 And so Paul says there's a battle going on that your healing cannot be passively receive but must be actively chosen. 00:04:29.589 --> 00:04:42.579 Now you have to begin to look at your thoughts, look at your beliefs, look at what you value and say, is that part of my new self or is that my old self clinging on with its corruption? 00:04:43.509 --> 00:04:52.629 And then Paul says this, to put on the new self created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. 00:04:52.899 --> 00:04:57.160 Your true self is the true you that you always want it to be. 00:04:57.850 --> 00:05:05.980 You will always recognize yourself, but it will be you without all the things that keep you from relationship with God. 00:05:06.470 --> 00:05:17.110 It'll be you without that impurity, that corruption, but rather you in right standing with God and you with a holiness and a beauty like you never had before. 00:05:17.589 --> 00:05:21.790 But this is appropriated by faith. 00:05:21.790 --> 00:05:23.170 You have to put off the old. 00:05:23.170 --> 00:05:26.230 You can't just patch the new into the old. 00:05:26.230 --> 00:05:27.939 The old has to be put off. 00:05:28.180 --> 00:05:29.740 So the new can be put on. 00:05:29.740 --> 00:05:35.980 So here, here at basically as what emotional healing is put off the old self, put on the new self. 00:05:35.980 --> 00:05:37.269 So I want you to look at your neighbor. 00:05:37.870 --> 00:05:39.250 They don't even have to be your friend. 00:05:39.250 --> 00:05:40.149 Look at your neighbor. 00:05:40.810 --> 00:05:41.259 Look at him. 00:05:41.261 --> 00:05:43.509 Come on, get your most righteous voice. 00:05:44.019 --> 00:05:45.879 Get your most righteous voice. 00:05:46.149 --> 00:05:47.769 And I want you to say this to them. 00:05:47.771 --> 00:05:51.430 You need to, I wasn't convinced. 00:05:51.459 --> 00:05:59.259 Come on, you need to put off your old self and put on your new south. 00:06:00.639 --> 00:06:01.180 Do it again. 00:06:01.180 --> 00:06:01.720 One more time. 00:06:01.721 --> 00:06:05.350 You need to put off your old south. 00:06:06.970 --> 00:06:08.560 Put on your new south. 00:06:10.490 --> 00:06:12.579 And if you're married to them, go right now. 00:06:12.699 --> 00:06:13.120 Oh, sorry. 00:06:16.920 --> 00:06:18.660 You enjoyed that way too much. 00:06:20.819 --> 00:06:21.060 All right. 00:06:21.060 --> 00:06:24.060 So when you put off your old self, what are you putting off? 00:06:24.420 --> 00:06:31.290 See the issue for many people as they try to change their behavior, they try to make certain changes of behavior. 00:06:31.500 --> 00:06:47.160 But the real issue when you're putting off your old self, our root issues and the root issues that Paul is getting at the insane get get at this old south and get it off of you, is he's really dealing with three things. 00:06:47.161 --> 00:06:48.569 I think primarily. 00:06:49.050 --> 00:06:54.209 One is that because of your old life, because of who you were, you have guilt. 00:06:54.779 --> 00:06:56.699 You have shame in your life. 00:06:56.730 --> 00:07:01.410 This is an identity issue and all root issues are identity issues. 00:07:01.860 --> 00:07:04.500 And so there has to be a pudding off of guilt. 00:07:05.069 --> 00:07:17.339 But also because you've been in this world and because you've been hurt and because there's a way that you are made when you're, you feel like injustice has been done to your unfairness has been done. 00:07:17.550 --> 00:07:20.639 There's a part of us that begins to protect ourselves. 00:07:20.879 --> 00:07:24.870 And one of the natural ways that we protect ourselves is with anger. 00:07:25.449 --> 00:07:39.389 And when anger, uh, abides in us or our becomes a protector, a route, it becomes bitterness and bitterness becomes a root that has to be pulled out for you to have a heart that has capacity to receive. 00:07:40.050 --> 00:07:44.250 And so not only do we have to put off guilt, but we have to put off bitterness. 00:07:44.730 --> 00:07:50.699 And then also we have to be able to put off our fear because at the root of all our guilt is fear. 00:07:50.701 --> 00:07:53.420 At the root of all of our bitterness is fear. 00:07:53.420 --> 00:07:55.350 Do you know when people are bitter? 00:07:56.009 --> 00:07:59.670 Instead of being able to have faith, they have skepticism. 00:08:00.540 --> 00:08:01.680 They have cynicism. 00:08:01.800 --> 00:08:04.560 They have to protect themselves by not trusting. 00:08:05.670 --> 00:08:09.269 Bitterness leads to dullness of heart, leads to numbness. 00:08:09.629 --> 00:08:12.750 No one gets, no one gets numb because they're so happy. 00:08:12.750 --> 00:08:16.500 They're numb, they get numb because they're in such pain. 00:08:17.399 --> 00:08:19.290 Guilt causes pain. 00:08:19.709 --> 00:08:29.040 When people feel guilty, they often go into even more thin because they feel like they've already lost the battle so much. 00:08:29.550 --> 00:08:42.330 And so I want to, I want to say to you today, I know I'm asking a lot of you to track with me on this and I'm going to ask an awful lot of you, but I'm saying today you need to put off your guilt today. 00:08:42.331 --> 00:08:45.090 You need to put off your bitterness today. 00:08:45.299 --> 00:08:46.980 Today you need to put off your fear. 00:08:47.039 --> 00:09:08.039 And Jesus tells us that one of the, the, the, uh, the great stories, one of the great healings, he us in this story, that ultimately what every person needs at the base of their, their emotional wellbeing as you need forgiveness is that you need to know that you're forgiven. 00:09:08.519 --> 00:09:15.149 And then as you know that you're forgiven, then you are able to extend forgiveness to others. 00:09:15.480 --> 00:09:25.980 And this is the mark of a heart that has capacity for great joy is a heart that knows it is forgiven and a heart that distributes forgiveness. 00:09:26.250 --> 00:09:38.129 And Jesus teaches us this through this healing story in Mark Chapter two, there are these friends who bring to Jesus a paralyzed man, a friend of theirs is paralyzed. 00:09:38.159 --> 00:09:40.919 They want to get this man to Jesus. 00:09:40.921 --> 00:09:45.960 As a matter of fact, they are so convinced that if they get their friend to Jesus, he will heal him. 00:09:45.961 --> 00:09:54.779 That they cut a hole in the roof of the building where they are and they lower their friend down to Jesus because they can't get close to him. 00:09:55.590 --> 00:10:01.080 So as Jesus sees the faith of these friends, he stopped everything else that he's doing. 00:10:01.350 --> 00:10:09.629 He addresses this paralyzed man and he says to him, something so shocking and so surprising. 00:10:09.629 --> 00:10:11.309 Now think about this with me. 00:10:11.639 --> 00:10:14.730 The presenting problem is the God can't walk. 00:10:15.299 --> 00:10:27.539 The presenting problem is that he's paralyzed the expectation then as Jesus is gonna cause him to walk, that Jesus is going to say something like this, take up your bed and walk. 00:10:27.809 --> 00:10:29.850 But that is not what Jesus says. 00:10:30.419 --> 00:10:34.500 Jesus says, your sins are forgiven. 00:10:36.059 --> 00:10:36.509 Whoa. 00:10:36.510 --> 00:10:36.960 Wait a minute. 00:10:36.961 --> 00:10:37.559 Jesus. 00:10:38.429 --> 00:10:39.750 He wants to walk. 00:10:41.070 --> 00:10:42.809 Why are you forgiving his sins? 00:10:42.811 --> 00:10:44.909 He needs his legs to work. 00:10:45.659 --> 00:10:47.159 Well, why would Jesus say this? 00:10:47.160 --> 00:10:50.250 Because Jesus says this is his ultimate need. 00:10:50.789 --> 00:10:53.460 His ultimate need is to be forgiven. 00:10:53.519 --> 00:10:56.970 Even if his legs work, but he dies in a sin. 00:10:56.971 --> 00:10:58.049 Who Cares? 00:10:59.710 --> 00:11:02.700 He's going to not just make a temporary fix. 00:11:02.970 --> 00:11:08.850 He's going to change this man's life forever, so Jesus forgives him now. 00:11:09.149 --> 00:11:15.360 Now, this is an example in this story of how aggressive the grace of Jesus is. 00:11:15.840 --> 00:11:24.539 If you've, if you've ever wrestled with, have I prayed the right prayer, have a confessed enough of my sin, have I've repented enough? 00:11:24.570 --> 00:11:26.279 This story is awesome. 00:11:26.759 --> 00:11:29.070 This guy doesn't even confess his sin. 00:11:29.700 --> 00:11:31.740 This guy doesn't even repent of it. 00:11:31.740 --> 00:11:40.889 Said, Jesus aggressively says to him, your sins are forgiven without the guy even having any kind of formula prayer. 00:11:41.250 --> 00:11:42.059 Why is that? 00:11:42.061 --> 00:11:45.269 Because friends, Jesus knows his heart. 00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:50.789 Look at what it says in in the tax it says, Jesus knew men's hearts. 00:11:51.299 --> 00:12:04.629 So there are a lot of people who will have prayed the right prayer, who are going to say, Lord, Lord, did we not pray the right prayer and he's going to say, depart from me, I never knew you because it's not the right prayer is the right heart. 00:12:05.889 --> 00:12:11.169 It's the heart that says I need forgiveness is the heart that admits I am guilty. 00:12:12.059 --> 00:12:16.779 Someone, uh, oftentimes people ask me the question like, someone has a lot of guilt. 00:12:16.780 --> 00:12:24.580 What should I, how should I help them get them to own their guilt, guilt him to admit they don't just feel guilty. 00:12:24.581 --> 00:12:25.629 They are guilty. 00:12:26.429 --> 00:12:28.149 Look, look, listen to me. 00:12:28.250 --> 00:12:37.539 We are living in a society that's taking away every rule because they believe if every rule is taken away and nothing is right and nothing is wrong, then no one will have any guilt. 00:12:37.809 --> 00:12:41.139 And yet you take away all the rules and we still feel guilty. 00:12:42.129 --> 00:12:50.919 I mean, maybe I'm the only one, but I remember no matter what I did in school, even if I got an a, there was something inside of me that said, you could have done more. 00:12:51.759 --> 00:12:53.139 You could've done better. 00:12:53.409 --> 00:13:00.610 Every time I played, uh, played a sport or did anything else, I always thought to myself, I should have spent another hour training. 00:13:00.610 --> 00:13:01.960 I should've worked harder. 00:13:02.639 --> 00:13:03.879 There's something within you. 00:13:03.880 --> 00:13:06.279 You can take away all the external rules. 00:13:06.460 --> 00:13:21.820 There's still something in you that has guilt, that has shame, and until you faced that guilt, then the capacity you have for other more positive, more powerful emotions will not be there. 00:13:22.720 --> 00:13:25.389 So Jesus says, this is your ultimate need. 00:13:25.690 --> 00:13:28.750 This is what you need, is to know that your sins are forgiven. 00:13:29.019 --> 00:13:32.019 Now, hold on, hold on. 00:13:32.020 --> 00:13:34.090 The religious cellular said, wait a minute. 00:13:34.120 --> 00:13:34.809 Who are you? 00:13:34.811 --> 00:13:39.340 They said to forgive this man, Sin Only God can forgive sins. 00:13:39.341 --> 00:13:41.080 So here's what Jesus is teaching them. 00:13:42.490 --> 00:13:45.730 One theologian, put it this way, try to try to picture this with me. 00:13:45.730 --> 00:13:47.259 There are three men come into a room. 00:13:48.320 --> 00:13:48.759 All right, man. 00:13:48.760 --> 00:13:53.409 One walks up to man, two punches him in the nose. 00:13:54.039 --> 00:13:55.240 The nose breaks. 00:13:55.240 --> 00:13:55.990 It's bleeding. 00:13:55.990 --> 00:13:57.100 It's a bloody mess. 00:13:57.100 --> 00:13:57.460 You know? 00:13:57.700 --> 00:14:04.450 And Man, three walks up to man one and says, friend, your sins are forgiven. 00:14:05.710 --> 00:14:09.129 Well man, two would go, dude, he didn't hit you. 00:14:11.019 --> 00:14:14.289 He hit me and I don't forgive him. 00:14:15.070 --> 00:14:21.399 You see, the only one who can forgive is the one who took the punch. 00:14:22.600 --> 00:14:36.129 What Jesus is saying is when you sin, when you lie, when you commit adultery, when you, when you lost, when you, when you have hated people in your heart, you were punching Jesus. 00:14:37.690 --> 00:14:43.179 David said against you and you only have I sinned. 00:14:43.840 --> 00:14:49.690 So the only one who can really forgive you is the one who took the punch. 00:14:50.440 --> 00:14:58.460 And Jesus is saying, here, all sin that you've ever committed has always been against him. 00:14:59.029 --> 00:15:03.169 It's he who has a bloody nose, not anybody else. 00:15:03.710 --> 00:15:06.230 And so then he goes, are you tracking? 00:15:06.259 --> 00:15:07.340 Come on, this is important. 00:15:07.341 --> 00:15:08.269 You get this. 00:15:09.409 --> 00:15:15.740 Um, then he says, okay, you guys are upset that I'm saying his sins are forgiven. 00:15:15.740 --> 00:15:17.269 Let me, let me ask you a question. 00:15:17.270 --> 00:15:24.799 Jesus says, which is easier to say your sins are forgiven or to take up your bed and walk. 00:15:25.519 --> 00:15:30.649 Now, if you read commentators, you'll realize we still don't know the answer to that question. 00:15:31.490 --> 00:15:42.350 Both of these are incredibly hard to really forgive sins and to take a paralyzed person and see their legs, recreate it, regenerated. 00:15:42.350 --> 00:15:43.429 All of this happen. 00:15:43.700 --> 00:15:45.409 Both are impossible. 00:15:47.120 --> 00:15:48.590 And yet Jesus says this. 00:15:48.591 --> 00:15:53.690 He says, so that you will know that I have the power to forgive sins. 00:15:54.230 --> 00:15:57.830 I'm going to show you my power over paralyzed legs. 00:15:58.399 --> 00:16:01.370 Take up your bed and walk. 00:16:02.419 --> 00:16:05.629 What an amazing moment, but this is what I want you to get from this. 00:16:06.379 --> 00:16:10.909 Notice how he phrases his statement to the religious leaders. 00:16:10.909 --> 00:16:15.950 He says, is it easier to say he uses that word? 00:16:15.951 --> 00:16:18.230 Say, guess what that means? 00:16:18.769 --> 00:16:29.509 It means that he is referring them to the fact that God's word is his action, that God's word is his way of doing things. 00:16:29.779 --> 00:16:39.409 God didn't before creation, sit around having a a, a con fab or this long, lengthy conversation and God said, son, and there was a sun. 00:16:39.919 --> 00:16:41.960 God said Moon and there was a moon. 00:16:41.961 --> 00:16:42.950 God said Earth. 00:16:43.129 --> 00:16:43.639 God said. 00:16:43.640 --> 00:16:46.370 See, God said all of these things. 00:16:46.370 --> 00:16:57.740 All he did was say it, and it was so when God says to you, your sins are forgiven, his word is his action. 00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:07.369 Now, there are many Christian cliches that I hate, but one of them that I hate, the worst is God said it. 00:17:07.460 --> 00:17:08.599 I believe it. 00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:09.920 That settles it. 00:17:09.950 --> 00:17:15.410 I just, I who are you and who cares? 00:17:16.609 --> 00:17:18.230 You settle nothing. 00:17:19.490 --> 00:17:21.079 See what Jesus is saying? 00:17:21.080 --> 00:17:23.480 If God says it, it's settled. 00:17:24.200 --> 00:17:33.289 Even if you don't believe it, even if you want to be an idiot for the rest of your life, it's still true. 00:17:34.789 --> 00:17:35.930 Now you get to choose. 00:17:36.109 --> 00:17:38.839 Well, I live in the lie or will I live in the truth? 00:17:39.500 --> 00:17:56.009 Paul says, the truth is in Jesus and therefore you can put off your old self because Jesus spoke and when he it's action and he says to the worst of you, in the best of you, he says, your sins are forgiven. 00:17:56.190 --> 00:18:08.339 Your guilt is taken away, and if you cling to that old guilt and that old shame, you're doing yourself a disservice. 00:18:08.640 --> 00:18:15.299 He who has the power to make the legs work has spoken over you so that your heart will work. 00:18:16.559 --> 00:18:26.069 He's aggressive and as grace, I am personally seen and experienced his aggressive grace. 00:18:26.970 --> 00:18:32.430 When I was, when I was in my twenties I did not understand how to put off the old man. 00:18:33.240 --> 00:18:36.960 I was trying to be a religious old self. 00:18:37.140 --> 00:18:39.029 I was trying to get his approval. 00:18:39.030 --> 00:18:42.509 I was trying to prove that I was worthy of his love. 00:18:42.510 --> 00:18:44.789 And so I gave myself to ministry. 00:18:44.790 --> 00:18:46.829 I gave myself to the mission field. 00:18:47.670 --> 00:18:57.180 And so I took my family, um, as missionaries to, to plant churches in Mexico City with the old self still fully intact it seemed like. 00:18:58.980 --> 00:19:08.279 And I got into situations where I realize now how aggressive his grace was for me, even when I didn't understand it. 00:19:09.150 --> 00:19:10.230 So here's what happened. 00:19:11.039 --> 00:19:15.900 I was in Costa Rica and I was learning Spanish and I adored Spanish. 00:19:15.930 --> 00:19:20.970 It was the greatest joy to, I'm pretty sure Spanish is what's spoken in heaven. 00:19:21.779 --> 00:19:25.109 Uh, I adored it. 00:19:25.111 --> 00:19:25.950 I loved it. 00:19:25.980 --> 00:19:27.960 I mean, it was, I love the people. 00:19:27.961 --> 00:19:29.099 I love the culture. 00:19:29.460 --> 00:19:32.789 I was obsessed with it and I was learning very rapidly. 00:19:32.790 --> 00:19:35.069 But My, I was 27. 00:19:35.070 --> 00:19:37.019 My team leader was about 33. 00:19:37.769 --> 00:19:42.000 He was the one who had recruited me to go to Mexico City to plant churches. 00:19:42.690 --> 00:19:51.720 And, uh, within the first six weeks of, of working together, he could not hear anything in Spanish and he couldn't speak anything in Spanish. 00:19:52.380 --> 00:19:55.400 So he asked me to help him because I was learning quickly and he asked. 00:19:55.470 --> 00:20:04.140 So we started working together and after about six weeks, he looked up from the books where we were studying and he looked me in the eye and he said, Mike, I've grown to hate you. 00:20:05.819 --> 00:20:07.349 I was like, Whoa, wait a minute. 00:20:08.609 --> 00:20:10.619 This isn't in the missionary handbook. 00:20:10.621 --> 00:20:16.200 You know, I thought a minimum requirement for missionaries would be loved one another. 00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:19.349 And he just goes, I, I've grown to hate you. 00:20:19.351 --> 00:20:23.279 I don't know what I'm going to do about it, but I'm, you know, I'm just letting you know. 00:20:23.309 --> 00:20:24.599 I'm like, thanks a lot. 00:20:25.470 --> 00:20:26.970 What do I do with that information? 00:20:26.971 --> 00:20:31.259 So over the next couple of years, he proved everyday that he hated me. 00:20:31.380 --> 00:20:35.730 I mean, we would, everything we did was, was full of his atrial. 00:20:35.730 --> 00:20:40.680 Well, I'm a pretty competitive person, so if you hate me, I'm going to hate you better than you hated me. 00:20:42.269 --> 00:20:50.769 So I responded to his hate with hate and a, I brought it home every day I'd come home and I'd say the least. 00:20:51.059 --> 00:20:53.289 Oh, you will not believe what he said to me. 00:20:53.529 --> 00:20:55.660 You won't believe what he did to me today. 00:20:55.661 --> 00:21:01.480 My wife has loved me throughout our marriage, but I haven't always understood her love. 00:21:02.470 --> 00:21:14.230 And one of the things that she did as one who loves me, and she always tried to buffer me with the people I was in conflict with, which was kind of a constant in certain periods of our life. 00:21:15.160 --> 00:21:18.519 And so I would say to her, I'd say, he's done this to me. 00:21:18.520 --> 00:21:23.769 And she looked at me with the love that she had for me and the practicality that is Lisa. 00:21:23.770 --> 00:21:28.869 And she said this, she said, then you either have to deal with that or we need to leave. 00:21:29.650 --> 00:21:45.339 And so I hated her too because here it was, I'm in, this is what, this is what I felt at that time in my old self is if, if you don't hate what I hate, you don't love me. 00:21:47.230 --> 00:21:49.180 Come on now I'm saying this out loud. 00:21:49.181 --> 00:21:52.690 Some of you, some of you got it. 00:21:53.859 --> 00:21:54.849 I'm just owning it. 00:21:56.200 --> 00:22:04.299 So here I got this great wife, I have this great family and I hate them and I hate my job that I hate my team leader. 00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:06.819 Guess what happens when you do that? 00:22:07.990 --> 00:22:12.250 All kinds of other things start coming in, starts coming in. 00:22:12.309 --> 00:22:13.390 Guilt, shame. 00:22:13.900 --> 00:22:19.660 You know, everything that you said you would never do becomes very appealing to you, becomes very attractive to you. 00:22:20.019 --> 00:22:25.299 And so instead of dealing with the pain and causes even more pain, more guilt, more shame. 00:22:25.930 --> 00:22:34.900 So I came to the end of my, of, of myself in this and I heard a voice very clearly say you would be better off dead than alive. 00:22:35.730 --> 00:22:42.220 And as I took a trip from Mexico City to the border to renew my visa, I figured out how I could make it look like an accident. 00:22:43.089 --> 00:22:47.140 And uh, I had it all planned out in the night I was going to do it. 00:22:47.170 --> 00:22:54.279 Suddenly something began to happen and I, I, I've heard it described and for me it was a dark night of the soul. 00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:57.400 Fear came over, me, sweats came over me. 00:22:57.401 --> 00:22:59.259 All kinds of things started to happen. 00:22:59.650 --> 00:23:07.809 But then in the hotel where I was, I heard the voice of God audibly and the first time I'd ever heard his voice, and he said, just something very simple. 00:23:07.810 --> 00:23:09.819 He said, Mike, I love you. 00:23:11.079 --> 00:23:26.109 And at first I would say for almost three years, I just focused on man in the worst time when I was performing my worst, when I had my worst guilt, when I had my worst shame, all of my secrets, all of this, this Ah, this yucky stuff in my heart. 00:23:26.950 --> 00:23:37.299 And He's speaking to me that he loved me, not when I was at my best, not when I was doing well, even when I was contemplating one of the worst of sins to kill myself. 00:23:37.990 --> 00:23:47.450 He says, I love you, but that wasn't the only thing that touched me after, after the many years began to realize he had spoken my voice. 00:23:47.451 --> 00:23:49.519 Like nobody else ever spoke to my voice. 00:23:50.180 --> 00:23:54.200 So much so that I knew exactly who it was that was speaking to me. 00:23:55.339 --> 00:24:00.680 Now, I don't know if you understand this, but there are people in your life who speak your name like nobody else does. 00:24:01.279 --> 00:24:06.619 Like my mother, she, I would always know what my mother thought in the moment, by the way, she called me. 00:24:07.309 --> 00:24:14.660 So if it's Mike where I'm safe, if it's Michael Wayne pockets, I know I'm in trouble. 00:24:14.661 --> 00:24:20.869 You know there's something about the people in your life, the way they call your name, that you know the relationship. 00:24:21.589 --> 00:24:29.180 And when he called my name for the first time, it became real where Jesus says, my sheep hear my voice. 00:24:29.750 --> 00:24:31.789 I call them by name. 00:24:33.440 --> 00:24:36.049 He was aggressive in His grace. 00:24:36.500 --> 00:24:47.930 And what I learned out of that because of allowing his word, his word became action and my life, and it became a foundation for change. 00:24:48.589 --> 00:24:52.819 And so this is what I really realized. 00:24:52.849 --> 00:24:58.519 I had a loud look at Ephesians four 26 be angry and do not sin. 00:24:58.849 --> 00:25:01.190 Do not let the sun go down on your anger. 00:25:02.029 --> 00:25:03.349 Here's the only place in the Bible. 00:25:03.351 --> 00:25:14.119 I know that it says this so directly, that when you do not deal with your anger, you give the opportunity of Satan to come in and to have access to all of you. 00:25:14.839 --> 00:25:20.150 Let no bitterness, no wrath, anger, clamor, slander, not let none of that stay with you. 00:25:20.660 --> 00:25:21.920 That's your old self. 00:25:22.130 --> 00:25:24.680 That's your old way of protecting yourself. 00:25:24.740 --> 00:25:26.299 That's your old power source. 00:25:26.300 --> 00:25:28.430 So will you attract with me? 00:25:28.431 --> 00:25:33.079 We're going to first we're saying put off your guilt, but now we're saying put off your bitterness. 00:25:33.769 --> 00:25:36.109 So can we unpack that a bit? 00:25:36.289 --> 00:25:42.349 Because you need to understand what it is that anger is and what it does and why it's so powerful. 00:25:43.009 --> 00:25:48.109 Now, there are a lot of people I grew up with this that said, Christian should never be angry. 00:25:48.920 --> 00:25:51.289 Christians don't get angry kind of a thing. 00:25:51.319 --> 00:25:57.019 Well, I'm angry with those who taught that Christians should not be angry. 00:25:57.020 --> 00:25:57.980 You understand? 00:25:58.339 --> 00:26:04.009 Anger here is said to be something you must deal with it. 00:26:04.010 --> 00:26:05.509 You can't suppress it. 00:26:05.990 --> 00:26:07.069 You can't deny it. 00:26:07.099 --> 00:26:14.119 You see, you cannot get free by lying when you lie and say, I'm not angry. 00:26:14.960 --> 00:26:16.309 You're not going to get free. 00:26:16.339 --> 00:26:30.920 When you refrain and restrain, what you're actually doing is you're really creating to where your soul has a root of bitterness because you will not speak the truth about how angry you are. 00:26:32.480 --> 00:26:32.839 Are you? 00:26:32.930 --> 00:26:34.400 Are you hearing me in this? 00:26:35.470 --> 00:26:44.220 And again, can I just say to you, you have a limited capacity for passion, for emotion, for, for love. 00:26:44.519 --> 00:26:47.430 If there's a root of bitterness, there's no room. 00:26:47.460 --> 00:27:03.150 Even when the Holy Spirit's spills out, his joy, it just goes right out of you because the bitterness is taking up its space and bitterness will not make you a better person or a better life. 00:27:03.539 --> 00:27:06.990 Now the last you, you think I'm wrong in this? 00:27:07.279 --> 00:27:09.390 Notice in the scripture, God gets angry. 00:27:10.259 --> 00:27:15.000 God deals with sin and wrath and anger. 00:27:15.210 --> 00:27:26.069 So anger in itself is not bad, but what happens is anger can go back and the scripture says, be angry, but sin not or do not sin. 00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:28.079 So what is sinful anger will. 00:27:28.080 --> 00:27:32.519 Verse 31 says, it's bitterness, it's rage, it's internal anger. 00:27:32.520 --> 00:27:34.380 It's brawling, slander. 00:27:34.410 --> 00:27:43.799 So think about this with me, that that anger is an energy that comes when it's provoked from within. 00:27:44.609 --> 00:27:56.309 So chemically it'd be adrenaline and other things, but emotionally, when you're angry, there's an energy that's building up and that has to be released in some way. 00:27:56.940 --> 00:28:08.279 And what Paul says is that if you keep it all inside as a rage or you keep it internally, then it will be released on you in a negative way. 00:28:08.910 --> 00:28:28.500 Now, I did a little study on this and there was a cardiologist that I read that said every one of his patients, his male patients who died from heart attacks had had a fight with their wife the day they died, that they had gotten so angry and so full of rage and they did not release it. 00:28:28.500 --> 00:28:32.400 That the heart could not stand the shock of it and they had died. 00:28:32.401 --> 00:28:35.759 So every time Lisa fusses at me, I go, that's the big one. 00:28:39.910 --> 00:28:41.470 I could go today. 00:28:45.569 --> 00:28:52.230 Actually that's Fred Sanford and some of you are too young to know that. 00:28:52.230 --> 00:28:58.319 But, uh, all us old people and Lisbon, I'm coming to you. 00:29:00.650 --> 00:29:05.940 But I mean there are many of us who turned it inside, but there are others of us, we are looking for a fight. 00:29:05.941 --> 00:29:14.759 Everywhere we go, we'll, we'll even, we'll even jump on people who've done just minor things because we have such a reservoir of anger. 00:29:14.760 --> 00:29:23.849 We have such a reservoir of pain that we want it released by temper tantrums and, and, and fights and conflicts and yelling and all of these things. 00:29:24.119 --> 00:29:31.140 So if so many of us will blow up and then we feel better and everybody else around us, it was kind of devastated by it. 00:29:31.740 --> 00:29:34.170 So let's, let's look at this now. 00:29:34.980 --> 00:29:47.160 I can't make you start questioning your emotions, but I can tell you this, if you will ask the right questions about your emotions, you will begin to have power over them. 00:29:48.059 --> 00:29:54.329 And one of the questions is this is what has provoked the energy of anger in you. 00:29:55.019 --> 00:29:58.200 And so you could ask this question, what is it I'm defending? 00:29:59.039 --> 00:30:02.609 What is it I'm protecting and why am I attacking this? 00:30:02.611 --> 00:30:03.029 Why? 00:30:03.269 --> 00:30:07.079 Why is this bringing up such energy in me? 00:30:07.080 --> 00:30:13.650 Now I'm going to give you a silly illustration of it, but on Saturdays, I like to get away. 00:30:13.651 --> 00:30:16.289 I love to go to a coffee shop or somewhere and just sit. 00:30:16.950 --> 00:30:23.220 It's really good when the coffee's good and a sit and just pray and get ready for, for the weekend, for Saturday night. 00:30:23.460 --> 00:30:34.799 So yesterday I had in mind I was going to go to this one place and I go to this place and I guess everybody else was going to pray and get their sermon ready to because this place was packed. 00:30:35.279 --> 00:30:43.170 And so I drive up and I noticed that people, uh, in front of me, the people in front of me are getting their car and they're gonna, they're gonna open a park in space. 00:30:43.171 --> 00:30:43.980 So I think, oh good. 00:30:43.980 --> 00:30:45.029 I'm getting a parking space. 00:30:45.030 --> 00:30:53.849 Now, I don't know if you studied your Bible carefully, but there's parking etiquette in the Bible and it's in King James. 00:30:53.851 --> 00:31:01.490 And it says this, once thou has passed a parking space, Dow may not back up. 00:31:04.339 --> 00:31:04.339 Okay. 00:31:04.509 --> 00:31:10.619 And take the space of the person waiting in the proper and appropriate place, or thou shall be smartest. 00:31:13.730 --> 00:31:32.089 Of course it's not there just in case, but I'm saying to you in my head, I realized I have a law about parking and those people weren't following it and energy was being, uh, energy with starting us stir up and me. 00:31:33.200 --> 00:31:35.450 And then I look at it and say, what am I defending? 00:31:36.920 --> 00:31:40.259 Why am I getting so upset about parking one, they're not. 00:31:40.369 --> 00:31:42.950 I could blow my horn, I could cuss at, am I going to do all these things? 00:31:43.130 --> 00:31:47.900 And they still have the parking spot, but I will have lost my piece. 00:31:49.299 --> 00:31:59.119 Is He, I'm giving you a very simple one, but what I'm saying to you is every single day there are scenarios in your head and people are never doing what you think they ought to do. 00:31:59.121 --> 00:32:01.759 And then you're offended or you're upset or you're hurt. 00:32:02.029 --> 00:32:03.980 You're upset with their tone of voice. 00:32:03.980 --> 00:32:06.349 You're upset with their nonverbal communication. 00:32:07.170 --> 00:32:13.069 It's fascinating to me because I look at all of you as I'm preaching and there are many of you that are stone walls. 00:32:13.880 --> 00:32:17.299 I mean, there is no way to read as far as I know you hate me. 00:32:19.759 --> 00:32:22.640 You have no interest in what I'm saying whatsoever. 00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:29.539 And then often what'll happen is some of you will come up to me, you stone walls afterwards and go, that just changed my life. 00:32:29.540 --> 00:32:30.740 And I'm like, I gotta quit. 00:32:31.130 --> 00:32:33.349 I gotta quit say, and I know what they're thinking. 00:32:35.509 --> 00:32:36.660 Do you understand what this is? 00:32:36.859 --> 00:32:42.950 See what happens is by adding all these up, it becomes bitterness. 00:32:43.640 --> 00:32:45.680 Nobody, nobody listens. 00:32:45.681 --> 00:32:47.480 Nobody does what I want them to do. 00:32:47.480 --> 00:32:50.509 No one ever really understands me or knows me. 00:32:51.109 --> 00:32:57.470 And before long, what happens is you have a deep reservoir of pain that becomes a root of bitterness in your soul. 00:32:58.190 --> 00:33:02.809 And unless you start asking these questions, what am I defending? 00:33:02.810 --> 00:33:04.400 Why am I so provoked? 00:33:05.210 --> 00:33:14.359 And then you have to get at what's the hardest of this is you don't realize your motivations are not truth and justice. 00:33:15.079 --> 00:33:16.910 Your motivations are ego. 00:33:17.960 --> 00:33:19.849 Why did they do that to me? 00:33:20.569 --> 00:33:21.829 Don't they know who I am? 00:33:21.830 --> 00:33:23.720 I don't let anybody do that to me. 00:33:23.721 --> 00:33:26.150 Let me, let me tell you an oath that people make. 00:33:26.359 --> 00:33:29.869 I will never let anyone take advantage of me again. 00:33:29.871 --> 00:33:30.769 That's ego. 00:33:31.519 --> 00:33:33.680 I will never let anyone do that to me. 00:33:33.681 --> 00:33:37.670 Again, that's ego and it's impossible. 00:33:38.450 --> 00:33:44.539 What you're doing is you're using bitterness which will destroy you thinking it will empower you. 00:33:45.980 --> 00:33:47.809 That's why Paul says, put it off. 00:33:47.869 --> 00:34:01.579 Put it off, or you tracking with me on that, so let's go a little deeper than here's what I've found is that the root of all guilt at the root of all your bitterness is always fear. 00:34:02.539 --> 00:34:14.449 See, fear is a natural response that we have when our needs, which are real needs and our desires, which are legitimate desires when they're not met. 00:34:15.679 --> 00:34:28.429 Our unmet desires particularly and needs, particularly if you lived in an environment of neglect or you lived in an environment of abuse, what that does is fracture your soul. 00:34:29.389 --> 00:34:31.849 What it does is make it hard for you to connect. 00:34:31.851 --> 00:34:46.039 Though you keep trying to connect, it becomes more and more difficult and often what it does is causes you to only be attracted to people that will hurt you because fear is not your friend. 00:34:47.179 --> 00:35:04.579 So when these unmet expectations and other things are there in your life, we are without knowing it often we're very in touch with our deepest core fears and here's after years of looking at that, I think you can boil your core fears down to two. 00:35:05.630 --> 00:35:16.940 The first is this, that many, many of us have experienced the sense that nobody really knows me, nobody really understands me. 00:35:16.940 --> 00:35:34.460 I might feel like I understand everybody else and I know exactly what to say or do for every, but no one ever really touches me in that place where I feel safe and I feel loved and I feel understood and that that fear is the fear of being disconnected. 00:35:35.239 --> 00:35:37.480 Some people will express it to me this way. 00:35:37.481 --> 00:35:42.159 They'll say, I can be in a room of a hundred people and still feel like I'm all by myself. 00:35:43.480 --> 00:35:51.969 There are people that are trying so hard to get others to connect that they'll actually offer themselves almost as slaves to others. 00:35:51.971 --> 00:35:53.650 I'll do anything for you. 00:35:54.130 --> 00:35:58.510 And then they realize, but as they do that the person, these people are using them. 00:35:59.349 --> 00:36:02.559 And so instead of filling connected, they just feel used. 00:36:03.190 --> 00:36:23.079 And this is such a powerful fear, but the other one's more powerful and it's that feeling and it's the need that we all have to have some measure of control in our lives to feel like we have some power to be ourselves and some power to do what we feel like we want to do or need to do. 00:36:23.081 --> 00:36:29.860 And when you feel powerless, it is the most fracturing of things, particularly when you're a child. 00:36:30.789 --> 00:36:41.349 If there was rape, if there was sexual abuse, if there was physical abuse or verbal abuse, if there was just even simple things that made you feel like, I have no choices. 00:36:41.860 --> 00:36:42.880 I have no control. 00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:53.769 My, I loved my grandfather in many ways, but there was this one thing you would do where it would hold me down and I hated it so much because he wouldn't let me go and I thought, I'm going to grow up in beat you up. 00:36:53.860 --> 00:36:53.860 Or 00:36:53.909 --> 00:36:54.349 Oh man. 00:36:57.230 --> 00:37:00.239 Do you understand that feeling of powerlessness? 00:37:00.630 --> 00:37:05.579 And it's not just when your child, it can be that you feel it in your marriage or you feel it at your job. 00:37:05.820 --> 00:37:06.480 Do you understand? 00:37:06.481 --> 00:37:12.869 When I was in Mexico with my team leader, I felt powerless and all I wanted was power. 00:37:12.871 --> 00:37:15.090 And so anger was seductive. 00:37:15.869 --> 00:37:23.340 Hate was seductive because it made me feel like I had power in the midst of my powerlessness. 00:37:23.400 --> 00:37:28.230