GAURD RAILS: DON'T BLOW UP YOUR LIFE | Accountability | Ben Anderson

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Well, good morning, everyone, and welcome to Redeemer. If we haven't had a chance to meet yet, my name is Ben Anderson, and I'm one of the pastors here. It's so great to spend a little time with you this morning. Hey, just a couple of quick things before we jump into our sermon today. If you are a first-time guest, I don't want to miss giving you a special welcome. I hope that you have a great experience getting to know us as we get to know you. But if you are ready to be known, one of the first steps that I'm going to ask you to take is go to our welcome desk after the service because we'd love to get to know you, hear a little bit of your story, and get you connected in a deeper way. Speaking of getting connected, if you are a Redeemer person, this is your home church. One of the best questions that you can ask people as you're waiting in line for your donut or your coffee is how long have you been at Redeemer? And you're going to learn a lot about a person in that brief moment. You might find out they're brand new, they're just exploring faith for the first time, or exploring this church for the first time. Or you're going to find out they have been around here for 50, 60, 70 years, and there's a lot of stories that you are going to glean from them. So don't miss out on those opportunities. But today we are going to jump back into our latest sermon series called Guardrails, where we have been exploring this simple question: how do I protect my future? Because every one of us, if we haven't wrestled with this question, today should be the day that we wrestle with this question. In fact, I would say today needs to be the day when you wonder for the first time, how can I be intentional about protecting my future? Because no one plans on blowing up their life. But we see this all the time in the people around us, don't we? Right? We have those people who we thought they had the perfect marriage. I mean, on the outside everything looked good. But all of a sudden we hear the unthinkable that they're getting a divorce and it just kind of rocks our world. Or maybe you have that friend who you are opening the paper or you're looking online and you see that they got a DWI and you thought, I didn't know that they drink. Or I didn't know that they were drinking again. Or maybe you have that friend or that family, that if you were honest, you would say, I envy their life. I mean, everything looks good. They have the perfect job. You kind of assume they're making a lot of money because when you look on their Instagram account, when you look on their Facebook, I mean they go to the best places for vacation. They have the best family photos. I mean, they have the best cars, the best house, and so you are shocked when all of a sudden they end up on the news for embezzlement. Because what they had wasn't enough. And now the dad or the mom, they're gone for 20 years in prison. How did they get here? Or let me make this more personal this morning. Maybe, as you heard some of the stories, you thought about yourself. How did you get here? Well, the answer is you made little choices along the way, little moments of compromise that ultimately led to big problems. And this is something that I don't want for you. And this is something that I know that you don't want for you. In fact, the people who are closest to you, the people who love you unconditionally, they don't want this for you. And God doesn't want this for you. And because God doesn't want this for you, he's gonna give us truth in his word to navigate life better, to put up these guardrails in our life to protect us from messing up our future. And that's exactly what we've been doing throughout this series. And so every week that we have been connecting and gathering, we've been talking about one of these things that I want to add, I want you to add to your toolbox week in and week out. But I know this, life happens. You have a trip planned, or work calls, or you get sick. If any of those things happen, make sure you go to our website, listen to the podcast while you're you're mowing the lawn, or pull up YouTube on your TV between the Timberwolves winning and the wild winning, whatever you have going on. And just make some space for this. In fact, if something really spoke to you and you need a refresher, go ahead, go back and listen the second time because I don't want you to miss out on any of this. But here's a snapshot of where we've been. The first week, as we wrestled with this question, how do I protect my future? We came to this conclusion that if we want to change the way that we live, we have to change the way that we think. We have to renew our minds by constantly going into God's word, God's truth, and letting it challenge us. How do we think? How do we live? How do we navigate life? And when we do that, we find this protection that God wants to give us. Last week we talked about this as we explored the life of Joseph. One of the best things that we can do to protect ourselves is make a plan of escape, to flee temptation. Because here's what's true about me, here's what's true about you. Sometimes I have great days. I am incredibly strong. Some days I'm incredibly weak. Some days, as the day goes on, I go from strong to weak, and here's the most challenging part. I don't know what version of myself that I'm going to get that day. And so I got to put these guardrails in place to protect myself from temptation. Don't put myself in a situation where I'm going to struggle or fall short. And when I find myself there, maybe by a surprise, I'm going to make this commitment to myself. I'm going to get out of there. I'm going to make that commitment to my family to get out of there. Well, today we're going to move into our third guardrail. Specifically, we're going to look at Galatians chapter 6. This is written by the Apostle Paul, and this is how he begins. Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. So right away, Paul's talking about someone who has been caught in sin. Now it doesn't say if it's a big sin or a small sin. It doesn't really matter. It might be one of those things that you do end up on the news. And you're so embarrassed and you think, I'm never going to recover from this choice that I made. Or maybe it's just something in your life, little moments of compromise that people are starting to notice. You're gossiping, you're lying. The way that you speak is not loving anymore, or at least not as loving as it used to be. And people are taking notice. And when we take notice of these things, whether it's large or small, how do we treat people in our lives that we love and care about who are struggling in this area? I mean, do we just isolate them? Like a modern-day shunning? Maybe we just leave their text message on red, right? I'm not going to respond to their voicemail. Maybe we block them on Facebook or unfriend them, like, I just don't want to be a part of it. Or maybe we say, Oh, I can't wait to get lunch with you, but we have no plan on actually engaging with them socially whatsoever. Maybe we think because of the choices they're making, I mean, they just got to figure it out, or someone else will lean in and care for them. We find ourselves disconnecting. But that's not what the Bible teaches for us to do. In fact, to say if you're in the room and you are exploring faith, if you're not a Christian, you're actually kind of off the hook on this one. Because how you see the Bible versus how I see the Bible is very different. Which means you don't have to do what the Bible says. But what does Paul say here? I love how he describes it. He says, if you are one of those people who lives by the Spirit, if you are a Christian in the room, if you are a follower of Christ, this is for you, and you are not off the hook. You don't just ignore people or walk away from people or not care about people. Instead, what you need to do, what we need to do, is offer the accountability that we want. And what is the type of accountability that you would hope that people would offer you? And the answer is the gentle kind. Have you guys ever been at a stop sign and maybe you're the first one in line and you got distracted? The light turned green, and someone behind you lets you know that the light turned green. Sometimes it's not overly pleasant. Sometimes the light will be green for a millisecond, and someone behind you just loses their mind because you are holding them back. Sometimes you get what I call the long honk. It's both hands. Right? And when they're not pressing down as hard as they physically can on their horn, what are they doing? They're waving their hands in the air. And you look in your rearview mirror and you see the mouthing words that you cannot say at church. Now that's a form of accountability, but what does that produce in you? Does it change your heart? Probably not. In fact, I got a confession to make one time someone did this to me. I got the long horn. And it was like a millisecond after it turned green, and this just ticked me off. And so I just kept my foot on the brake and waited for the light to turn from green to yellow. And I just timed it out. And right at the tail end, I drove off and left them there on the red. So they had to sit there for one more cycle. Maybe right now you're thinking, oh, that's who did that to me. Now I'd like to say that I'm sorry, but I was not sorry. I mean, you get what you get. But sometimes you get the long horn in in life. But sometimes you get the short horn. I mean, this is almost the apologetic, I'm so sorry to bother you, but the light has been green for five seconds. You know, and you just kind of tap on it, it's like a little beep versus a. And you don't like wave your hands in anger or throw up your fists. You kind of wave like, hey, I care for you, I love you, I just want you to make a little bit better decision here. And when you look in your rearview mirror, what do you see? They're mouthing. I'm so sorry. But you know what happens when you experience the short honk? Every time that you go to a stoplight from that point forward in that day, you're thinking about that. I don't want to hold people back, I don't want to be an inconvenience. When that light turns green, I mean you're locked in, you're not texting, you're not looking at your phone, you're not talking with somebody else. Because that's the type of accountability that works. In fact, Paul writes this in the book of Romans. He says these words or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance, and patience, not realizing this is the key, that God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance. It's God's kindness that moves us forward in a better way of life. Which means this. If we are a church that acts like Christ, that acts like God, this should be the best place to fall short. I mean, think about Christ's life. This should be a place where we extend forgiveness because what did Christ do? He went to the cross and he gave up everything. He extended forgiveness to people who didn't deserve it. This should be a place where restoration can happen. What does Jesus do to Peter once he denies him three times? After the resurrection, he comes back with him. He restores their friendship. He restores Peter to ministry. This is a place of restoration. This is a place where we should be guided into a better way of life out of our sins. In the life of Christ, he's meeting at the well with a Samaritan woman, a person that no one thought he should connect with. But at the end of the conversation, what does he say? Go and sin no more. This is the better path. Now, right now, some of you are thinking, that has not been my experience at church. My experience has not been this is the best place to fall short. This is the best place to fail. And if you've experienced those things, I'm so sorry. I mean, I have heard stories, horror stories, of how churches treat people who fail. I mean, I've experienced some of those stories. I had a friend a number of years ago, he was a pastor, and he gave me a phone call and said, I want you to hear this from me first before you hear it through the rumor mill. I said, What's going on? He said, Well, I just got caught having a multi-year affair with another woman at my church. And I want you to know. I mean, that's awful. I mean, in this moment, this pastor, he blew up his family, he blew up that family, he blew up his life. And that's an awful, horrible thing. But how the church responded somehow was actually even worse. You see, what they did was the next Sunday after this news broke, they came up in front, in front of all their services, and they aired all the dirty laundry. And they told everyone, this guy's gonna be fired, he's done with ministry, and he's not welcome here anymore. But here's the part that makes it really bad. They didn't let him know or his family know that that was going to happen. Which means his kids were in the audience hearing it for the first time. His wife was sitting there and everyone turned and looked at her. It was an awful, awful experience. I mean, trauma added to trauma. It wasn't gentle, it wasn't helpful. In fact, those people up front who were speaking, if the tables were turned, that's not how they would want to be treated. I mean, they'd want privacy, they'd want help, they'd want restoration, they want people to care, and they wouldn't want to lose the very people that they need to rely on to care for them and love their family and be pushed in a better direction. Here's where Paul goes next. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ. You see, if we love somebody, if we act the way that Christ acted when he lived on the earth to set the example, we will lean in when people are struggling. But there's a caution here that Paul gives us be careful when you do that, that you don't get stuck in the muck with them. Now, I grew up in the 90s, some of you probably did as well. Or maybe you raised somebody who grew up in the 90s. And for some reason, when I was a kid, there was a fascination with quicksand. I mean, it was in all the movies, Indiana Jones, The Never Ending Story. It was on Saturday morning cartoons when that was still a thing. I would sit down and there was like quicksand in every single episode. It was in Super Mario Brothers. I mean, we were well aware of quicksand. In fact, as a child of the 90s, I was convinced that when I became an adult, that quicksand would be a major problem that I had to worry about in my life. But what did all of us kids who grew up in that time frame learn? That if you get caught in quicksand, what you don't want to do is wiggle or fight. It's gonna pull you down faster. You need something from the outside, or someone from the outside who's on stable ground to be able to pull you out. But if they get caught in the quicksand, or that object that you're holding on to gets caught in the quicksand, well, then you are both sunk, pun intended, if you guys miss that. But quicksand is a great metaphor for what we're talking about today. Because think about this. If we are not careful when we're trying to help somebody, we can quickly get caught up in their sin as well. So, what do we do? Do we just avoid them completely and stay away from them? Of course not. What did Jesus do? In the Bible, a critique that they labeled on Jesus was he is a friend to tax collectors and sinners. In fact, they labeled him a glutton and a drunkard. Now, does this mean that he was living the way that they lived? Of course not. But we see is someone who's getting so close to these people who are struggling in order to pull them out of their muck. And if we want to do this, if we do this well, it looks like this. We need to offer the accountability that they need. Because once again, what does this verse say? It says, carry others' burdens. Because in moments like this, when people are struggling around us, they can't lift what they normally could lift if they weren't going through this moment in their life. But this is important. As you engage with people in these spaces who are struggling, understand this that you need to carry what they need, not what you want them to ask you to carry. After all, you remember Christ in the garden? And he's praying in this moment before the cross. And he says these words, God, take this cup from me. In other words, what he's saying is, God, I know what you're asking me to do. And I know these people need to be saved. But if there's a different way that we could do this, because I don't prefer this way, there's got to be a different creative path. Let's do something else instead. But then he closes with this. He says, but not my will, but yours. What he's saying is, I'm willing to do whatever it takes, even if I'm uncomfortable, even if it's not my preferred way so that I can help these people. You see, the question that we need to wrestle with is not how do I want to help somebody. The question is, how do they need to be helped? You see, it's much easier for me to drive down the road, see someone on the side of the road holding a cardboard sign and just throw money at them versus donate my time to a food shelf to serve them. It's easier for me to make a snide comment, they just need to get a job, than to invite them into a position where they can make money. It's so much easier to say, I will pray for you, and then never get around to it, than to lean into that space no matter where you are at the cast station at Walmart and say, Man, I'm sorry you're going through that. Let's pray right now, right where we are. These are hard things. In fact, they're they're so hard that maybe you're thinking, I would just avoid those completely. But if we flipped the script, if it wasn't them hurting, if it was you hurting, wouldn't you want them to lean in and care for you in that moment? I mean, if you were sinking in the quicksand, do you want them to just walk by and toss a stick at you and say, figure it out? Or do you want them to run off, find a rope, wrap it around their waist, throw it in, put their life on the line, and start pulling you out of the muck. Here's where Paul goes next. If anyone thinks they are something, when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone without comparing themselves to someone else. For each one should carry their own load. Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor. Now, as we've been going through this conversation today, you might be thinking, wait, so far, uh we've been worrying and focusing a lot on caring for others, but isn't the question how do I protect my future? Well, I think these things go hand in hand. Because not only do we need to help people and serve people, but we also need to invite them into our lives when we need them. And if we want people to draw near and keep us accountable in life, it starts with being humble. You must be humble enough to listen to others. You must be humble enough to listen to God's way, which can be so tempting because after all, what did we talk about last time? It's so easy to trust God with our eternity, but it's so much harder to trust Him with our temporary. But that's how we protect our life. But we struggle with this. But God, I don't know. I don't want to behave that way. I don't want to sacrifice that way. I don't want to walk that way. I mean, after all, I just listened to a podcast. I just read a best-selling book. I just saw this documentary. And it seems a little bit counter to what the Bible is saying. So, God, I'm not fully sure about this. But as followers of Christ, this is what we do. We kneel at the throne even when it doesn't make sense to us, at least yet. But bowing our knee requires humility. Because humility, this is what it does. It changes how we navigate life, and it changes how we see each other. But here's the trade-off: so does pride. Pride changes how you navigate life, and pride changes how you see others. I mean, pride says, I don't have anything to learn from them. Pride says, I am better than them. I am smarter than them. And if you live in that space, it's impossible to receive accountability from anyone. No matter how smart they are, no matter how bright they are, pride says, I know better than them, they don't know anything, and therefore I don't need to listen. But if you want to protect your future, this is what you need to do. You need to seek and receive accountability. Which means you need to constantly invite people into your life and give them permission to keep you accountable. The Bible, in this section, calls it the instructor. And here's my favorite part. What does it say? The one who receives instruction in the Word should share all good things with his instructor. Now, what is that good thing? It could be a lot of things, but I think one of the best things that you can offer to someone who's giving you instruction or is giving you feedback is give them gratitude for them sharing that feedback with you and constantly have an openness to what they're sharing with you. Have you ever given loving feedback to somebody? I mean, you saw what they were doing in their life, and it was not going well, they had an obvious blind spot and it felt like no one was telling them, and you love them too much not to tell them the truth. But when you shared that, they got defensive. Maybe they responded in this way. They said, that's not true. And then they gave you a laundry list of all the reasons why what you just said to them wasn't accurate. Or maybe they made an excuse. I mean, but if she didn't, if he didn't, if they didn't, I wouldn't. Or maybe they just pouted. Well, I guess I'm never good enough. Or maybe. Maybe they shut down. In fact, they didn't talk to you for days, maybe weeks. Maybe they stopped talking to you. They have never spoken to you since you gave them that feedback, even though that you had truly the best of intentions in your heart. And what happens when people respond to you like that? When people push back against the feedback that you're giving them, even though your motives are pure, you just simply stop giving feedback. And as a result, they never improve, they never get better, they probably get worse. And in the end, you are so relieved when they leave the business, walk away, because you don't have to deal with it anymore. Is this the type of person that you want to be? Man, I hope not. I hope that you don't want to be somebody who can't receive feedback or people have given up on, because feedback, it is one of the key components to protecting your future. Here's where Paul goes next. Do not be deceived. God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh from the flesh will reap destruction. Whoever sows to please the spirit from the spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good. For at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Who's smarter? Is the creator smarter or is the creation smarter? Obviously, the creator. And what has the creator done? He has created a cause and effect world. We can do it his way or we can do it our way. And what we're told in scripture is if we do it his way, it will bring life, and if we do it our way or the flesh's way, it will bring destruction every single time. And there's no life hack to this. It is a constant tug of war, back and forth. Will I do it God's way? Will I do it my way? But here's the big hurdle of all this. Sometimes, even though we're doing it God's way and we're told that brings life to us, we don't always experience the immediate benefits of it. That's why Paul says, at the proper time, we will reap a harvest. Here's a way to hold on to it. Wait for the accountability to work. A number of years ago, my wife and I moved into a house, and I had this picture of my kids playing in the yard, a big, beautiful green lawn. But there was a problem. There was no grass at this place. And I don't mean that like there were patches of grass and patches of weeds. No, the previous guy who lived there, he decided to spray Roundup over everything. And so it was just dirt. And every time it rained, there would be these huge ruts, and I had to go rake them, and it was awful. And finally I had enough of it, and I didn't know what I was doing, and so I went to somebody, you can call it yard accountability if you want to, and I said, Hey, help me out. How do I do this? And they said, Well, the first thing you need to do is let the weeds grow. That will fix your erosion problem. I was like, You want me to grow weeds in my yard? Like, grow weeds in your yard. I was like, okay, it doesn't make sense, but okay. I said, once you have that problem solved, after about a year, what we want you to do is put seed over the top and water it. Grass seed. Put the grass seed down, water, water, water, water. And over time, what's gonna happen is the grass is going to win, and you will have the yard that you want. I gotta be honest, I did not believe them at all. But I did it anyways. So that next year after the weeds had grown and my erosion problem was done, well then I mowed the weeds short. I put down the grass seed and I watered and I watered and I watered and I watered and the weeds grew tall. And I thought this was a big waste of time. And then I mowed the weeds down. And you know what I found under the weeds? Grass. And so I watered and I watered and I mowed and I mowed, and by the end of the year I had the big, beautiful lawn that I was hoping for. You see, none of that would have happened if I would have followed my first instincts, which is you guys don't know what you're talking about. That sounds insane, that doesn't make any sense. But I humbled myself, and I got to experience the benefits, and I had to trust the process. So, for you today, is your future protected? Do you have people in your life that you have invited in, you have given them permission to keep you accountable? Because you need this. In fact, you know this because if you were talking to somebody else and they didn't have this in their life, you would say, This is what you need to do in your life. So why is it so hard for us to do it, even though we know it's the right thing to do? Well, sometimes it's a pride thing. I mean, we get into our minds that I'm smarter than them, I know better, they don't know what they're talking about, and that's why we cycle through counselor after counselor after counselor after counselor. Maybe we've got pastor after pastor after pastor, friend after friend, because every time they give us advice, we think, I know better. They don't know what they're talking about, they don't know my story, they don't know my life, and we don't listen, and the cycle continues and we stay stuck. Or maybe it's not pride, maybe it's fear. I mean, to invite somebody in to give me feedback, that's kind of scary. I don't want to hear bad things about myself. But when people share it, we get defensive. And then we blame, and then we explain, and then we shut down. And once again, we continue to find ourselves stuck. If you guys have driven down a road before, you know that sometimes there's guardrails, sometimes there's not, depending on the angle of the road, whether it's straight or curvy and things like that. But there's one thing that's always on the road, and it's those rumble strips. And you've probably driven over them before.

unknown 31:47

Right?

SPEAKER_00 31:47

You get a little bit distracted, and all of a sudden it's boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And you, if you have kids, you know what that's like. They start screaming at you. Dad, what's wrong with you? Learn to drive. When you hit those rumble strips, it is embarrassing, it is loud, it is uncomfortable. But you know what you do? You turn back on the road, don't you? And you stay away from the ditch. This is what accountability is like. It is loud sometimes, it is uncomfortable sometimes, it hurts sometimes, and that's why you need it in your life. To protect yourself from going in the ditch. Let's pray. Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for this time to gather to challenge ourselves. Lord, we know that if we begin to think differently, we will act differently. And so we've been challenging ourselves week in and week out. Lord, what do I need to change in my life to protect my future? And so, Lord, I hope that, I mean, my honest hope is that people already have this in place. That they have people in their lives who can tell them the truth and they don't get defensive, they don't push back, or they don't get arrogant about and say, I don't need what you're selling, I don't need what you're offering. But Lord, if we're not there yet, I hope that we are a people who seeks somebody out and gives them permission to tell us the hard things. Because Lord, I know if we have that in our space, in our world, that we will be protected from so many silly choices. Those little choices that create big problems. So, Lord, work in our hearts, work in our minds, guide us into something better. We praise all in Christ's mighty name. Amen.