#13 Is this really the right job for you?

Sometimes there are only subtle signs that we are unhappy in our jobs. Are any of these signs there for you? 

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Transcript

Hi! This is Anita Belitz from the Wise Women’s Workplace podcast and Facebook group. Today I would like to ask you to think about if you are listening to some unexpected signals about if you are in the right job or not. 

Backstory (Desires internal and external)

How many times did I wonder if I was in the right job over my career? Countless! But the important signals were not obvious!

You see, one of my first jobs I stumbled into through a placement agency and while I originally thought from the description that I wouldn’t be interested in the job, it turned out it was a good match! So I took the job. And I am so thankful that I did! It was a great position for me at the time. I worked with a wonderful boss who let me take initiative, who took the time to explain things when necessary, and who also gave me the room to figure things out on my own. And it ticked the boxes that were important for me at the time: I felt like I was doing something important, I felt appreciated, and I was happy about the salary.

But here’s the thing: I had so many times over my career that I wondered if it was the right job for me. Why? I’m not sure I can put it down to just one thing. At times my job was repetitive and not too exciting. Other times it was because our organization’s work was in a field I was not passionate about. But, in reality, these were not reasons enough for me to want to leave my job.

The bigger indications started when my boss was recruited away to another organization. There was no immediate replacement for him as our director and I was asked by the Chairman to step up and manage things during the transition period. It was a great opportunity and I appreciated the vote of confidence, but at the same time it was so stressful and intense that it brought a lot of things into perspective for me that I hadn’t really noticed about my work before. Things like if we were really fulfilling our mission in the best way possible, if peoples’ actions and behavior were really appropriate, and more personally the big imbalance of my work-life balance.

But truthfully I kind of ignored the signs and just pushed through and when we got a new managing director, many of these concerns fell by the wayside and I was able to focus on my own area of responsibility once again.

Years later, I decided to go to an executive coach and while I talked through some of the different issues with her, I heard myself saying things to her that kind of surprised me. And little-by-little as I went through the coaching process which was specifically on work-related issues, I also started seeing signs of me not being totally in line with my work. This happened more and more frequently and over time, taken together, these signs made it pretty obvious that I felt out of alignment with my job. And with my organization. And eventually even with some of my values. And once I noticed that, it became increasingly harder to ignore.

So, would you recognize some of the less obvious signs which could be telling you this job is not right for you?

Now, I am not talking about the ones like where you’re dreading going to the office every day already. I’m talking about the more subtle ones.

Here are some signs that might mean you are already unconsciously thinking about moving on from your job:

1)  First one : Have you ever noticed that you feel physically bad when you are at the office but not elsewhere. This one may seem obvious if you are already ready to move on from this job. But I am talking about the things we tend to ignore or assume are just normal, like the recurring stomach ache you get when your boss calls or the truly overwhelming tiredness that you feel as soon as you enter the office. What could these physical indications be telling you? Could it be that you are in a place you no longer want to be in?

2)  Another sign: You check the clock all day long. Sure, everyone wants to go home at the end of the day, but if you are using your breaks as milestones instead of seeing the in-between work periods as times to crush work projects, you may want to consider what this is telling you about how you feel about your work’s focus…

3)  Now, what about this third one: You have invented a description of the company and/or for your job which is not in line with reality but which makes you feel better. I did this at one point. I searched for ways to give meaning and purpose to my work before resigning myself to accept it for what it was. It troubled me enough that I even spoke to my boss at the time about it. Regretfully, he confirmed my fear that the organization had lost sight of its original purpose and I finally came to realize this really impacted how I felt about my job.

4)  Fourth sign: You are inventing add-on aspects of your job that aren’t in your job description. Are you trying to keep things interesting? Learning a new skill? Maybe you have too much time on your hands? Or are you unintentionally showing that you would prefer to be doing another job? I had an assistant once who had plenty of great ideas but they just weren’t useful for what we were focusing on at the time. When I talked to her about it, it became obvious to me that she was better suited for a position in communications rather than the one she was doing in operations. She actually ended up changing to a job in marketing and has thrived in that position. It was a great thing to discover early on in her career!

5)  Finally, if you ever find yourself overly enthusiastic when a colleague tells you of the cool job their spouse or child has taken on and then you remind yourself that you are fine with your job because you need the paycheck for the mortgage, to pay the bills, support your family, etc., notice those subtle signs in your body language. If you feel deflated when thinking about your job, you may be what I call “safe and sorry”. I know, money is important. But the cost of earning that salary may be bigger than is obvious on the surface. Unhappiness can take significant toll on your physical and mental health as well as your relationships. What other situations make you feel this way?

Now, I do want to point out that every job comes with good points and not-so-good points. But at the end of the day, there have to be enough positives to at least balance out the negatives. Staying at a job only because of the money or perceived security will rarely bring you happiness. In 10 years how will you look back on your career during that time? Are you going to look back and say “yeah, I had a good career which allowed me to live a good life and that brought me happiness and satisfaction?” Or are you going to be thinking “I stayed in a stressful job which kept me away from my loved ones but boy, I made good money!” There are very likely other options out there and I would like to encourage you to think about if some of those options could be a better fit for you.

Have you ever heard that saying where it’s about the journey, not the destination? I believe it’s realistically about both. And what I do know with certainty, is that when I listened to my own signs and pursued a solution which was a good fit for me, it improved tremendously the balance in my life and made me feel happy again.

So here is what I would like to leave you with: If you identify yourself in any of the above signals (physical signs, using breaks instead of accomplishments as your milestones, embellishing your job description or the company’s mission, unintentionally seeking to change your job duties, or staying safe and sorry), it may be time for you to think about changing your job or even your career. Life goes by so quickly and if you aren’t mindfully observing how different aspects of your job make you feel, you may just be floating along wherever the current takes you.

So what to do now? Well, I invite you to keep listening to the podcast as in future episodes I will talk about some things to consider when thinking about moving on.

Remember: If you really want a career and life which makes you happy, it is important to be very mindful of what you are doing and to be consistently deliberate. Make sure you are always looking after yourself, including in your career. And don’t just survive, take steps to thrive!

I look forward to speaking to you again soon. Until next time, may you be healthy, wealthy, and wise!