AlongTheWay

Translating Life’s Languages Part 1 - Anna Kendall’s Journey AlongTheWay 16

July 29, 2019 John Matarazzo / Anna Kendall Season 1 Episode 16
AlongTheWay
Translating Life’s Languages Part 1 - Anna Kendall’s Journey AlongTheWay 16
Chapters
AlongTheWay
Translating Life’s Languages Part 1 - Anna Kendall’s Journey AlongTheWay 16
Jul 29, 2019 Season 1 Episode 16
John Matarazzo / Anna Kendall

Anna Kendall shares her journey of learning how God designed us to communicate, it saved her marriage and helped hundreds of thousands communicate Life’s 7 Languages.
Discover how Anna learned how to communicate the way God designed…
Her AlongTheWay moments include 

  • Restoring a broken marriage
  • Learning to speak life’s 7 languages
  • Secrets Revealed through Romans 12
  • Finding Purpose, Strengths and Destiny

Part 2
Translating Life’s Languages Part 2 - Carolyn Santos AlongTheWay 17

Life Languages

Books Mentioned

Watch episodes of RealLife

Email Me

Facebook - AlongTheWay

Instagram - AlongTheWay

More episodes @ AlongTheWay

Show Notes Transcript

Anna Kendall shares her journey of learning how God designed us to communicate, it saved her marriage and helped hundreds of thousands communicate Life’s 7 Languages.
Discover how Anna learned how to communicate the way God designed…
Her AlongTheWay moments include 

  • Restoring a broken marriage
  • Learning to speak life’s 7 languages
  • Secrets Revealed through Romans 12
  • Finding Purpose, Strengths and Destiny

Part 2
Translating Life’s Languages Part 2 - Carolyn Santos AlongTheWay 17

Life Languages

Books Mentioned

Watch episodes of RealLife

Email Me

Facebook - AlongTheWay

Instagram - AlongTheWay

More episodes @ AlongTheWay

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/AlongTheWay)

Anna Kendall :

We say there are 7 billion people, over 7 billion people in the world. But we don't have to learn how to speak to all 7 billion. We just need to learn how to communicate with seven, and we can reach everybody.

John Matarazzo :

Welcome to along the way. I'm John Matarazzo. Your host and fellow traveler. Thank you for joining me along my way is I try to become more like Jesus every day. In this episode of along the way, my journey connects me with Anna Kendall, the co founder of life languages International, and the co author of the new book communication IQ. If you want to know how you can influence lead and motivate people, then you want to hear what Anna has to say. Before we get to the interview with Anna, I want to let you know that I took the life language assessment that Anaconda will talk about in this interview, I discussed my results with the international training director of life languages international Carolyn Santos, you could hear our follow up conversation to learn more about how the life language system works. And how I scored in my assessment. That conversation with Carolyn will be in part two of translating life's languages. I always enjoy getting feedback about how my along the way journey is helping you. If you want to connect with me, then you can find along the way on Facebook and Instagram. You could always email me at John along the way at gmail. com. My social links and web address are in the show notes. I'd love to hear your feedback. And now here's my along the way conversation with Anna Kendall. Anna candle, thank you so much for joining me along the way. As I tried to become more like Jesus by the people that God brings into my life along the way and my journey. I'd like to learn about your journey a little bit if you could just kind of explain it a little bit of who you are and how we connected through your book communication IQ.

Anna Kendall :

Okay. Well, john, thank you so much for having me on your podcast, I appreciate this. My husband Fred and I have just recently written a book published by Whitaker has called communication IQ, where we have the Lord reveal to us, and it's something we've worked on for the last 35 years. So it's not a new concept, he revealed to us that there are seven different communication styles, we all speak all seven of them in descending order. And it's a phenomenal concept. And I must say it is it is brilliant and smart and much smarter than we are. Because it really does come from the Word of God, it comes from the mind of God. So we can't take credit for it. We had been working on understanding communication, since my husband and I were both really good at talking. And we thought we were good communicators. And then we found ourselves with a tremendous marriage problems, and that we were not good communicators at all. And it was in the healing of our marriage, that we started understanding that we had a communication problem, and most people did. And then we we started turning to God to heal our marriage and to bring us the awareness that we needed. And he started revealing tremendous insights to us about how to communicate.

John Matarazzo :

There's a storm going on outside. And I don't even know if I can try to edit that out. So I'm just going to embrace it and just say there's a storm going on. And we're I'm very grateful that Whitaker house is allowing me to come and use one of their offices here while you're in town. Speaking at a fair that they're having. Yes,

Anna Kendall :

it's it is for bookstore owners. So we've been delighted come here and talk about our book and about the concept and, and this whole thing. So anyway, God use this as we worked on this project of understanding one another, understanding ourselves and each other. And we realize this wasn't just for us. This was for other people. So we started using it to help marriages and help families. And then from there, we start doing seminars in churches. And the next thing we knew God was bringing people to us who wanted to share this. So we have about several hundred coaches throughout the world who now teach this, we're in I think about 120 countries. And we've profiled about a quarter of 1,250,000 people. So it's it. And through the years, one of the other things that happened was we my husband had ownership and management in three Christian psychiatric hospital programs. One was in Fort Worth, Texas, one was in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and the other was Newport Beach, California. So our spirit field professionals would take this concept and use it in group therapy and private therapy. And through their professional insight, as well as their spiritual maturity. They confirmed and validated everything that God was showing to this. So. So now we know that that as we have have worked on this, and God revealed to us that what we had done was we had plugged in to the concept of the seven motivational gifts from Romans 12. Okay, and that's what makes it work. But not only do we speak all seven of the languages he's shown is that each language is divided into one of three intelligences. There are those who think first those who feel first, and those who are kinetic are act first. So we've got the three intelligences and the seven life languages are the seven communication styles, then each one has its own filter. Each one has its own passion. Each one has its own need from others. And as we understand these things, it helps us to identify with the people that we're wanting to reach and communicate with, as we say there are 7 billion people, over 7 billion people in the world. But we don't have to learn how to speak to all 7 billion. We just need to learn how to communicate with seven, we can reach everybody.

John Matarazzo :

Wow. That's, that's really interesting.

Anna Kendall :

Amazing, isn't it? Yes.

John Matarazzo :

So I want to I want to hear more about that in a moment. Okay, I want to hear about your life. How did you come to Christ? How did you make Jesus your Lord and Savior?

Anna Kendall :

Well, it wasn't until my husband and I had marital problems. I was a church member. And I thought I was a Christian. But I had one of those intellectual assent to Christ rather than the experiential understanding of Jesus living within me. And as as we had marital problems, and we separated, and I was convinced that my husband was the source of all my problems. Because according to the life languages, his first language is mover, which is lead, follow Get out of the way, he was a Marine Corps major. And I felt like he was always trying to shake me up. And I felt like I needed to always resist. So we had our internal battles going on. But it was during our separation that I thought, you know, I'm better. Life is better without him. But during that time, I was living in Texas, and he went to California,

John Matarazzo :

during that time ever really separated.

Anna Kendall :

Yeah, we really separated. And God spoke to him through a group of spirit filled Christians, and told him that if you'd go back to Texas, that he would show him how to save his marriage, how to save his family. And he turned in his resignation, he was a branch manager for a large electronics company, and he turned it in, move back to Texas with the absolute confidence that God was going to save our marriage. And I would look at him and I'd say, first of all, I don't want to say secondly, you're the source of my problems. And third, I have no feelings for you, except episode hatred.

John Matarazzo :

Okay. That's a rough place.

Anna Kendall :

That's rough. So he looked at me and he'd say, Anna, but just like you've learned to them record, if you are captured by an enemy, you You gave a script, he'd say, No, I want to love you honor you provide for you care for you all the days of your life, you are not my enemy. And I'd say Well, I'll tell you one thing, you're my enemy. And the sooner You're out of your the better, because he, prior to that he'd been so hard charging, so demanding, so critical that I was just Ward down. But he was changing, the Lord is already changing him. And I got trapped in that marriage with him tying up all of the finances and getting a child custody lawyer. And I was just furious, but I couldn't run away. And during that time, I saw him change. I saw the man that God was creating him to be. And so one night, I said, God, if this Christianity thing that Fred is talking about, if that's for real, and if you're really real, I will try, I will really try this Christianity thing. But I said, I don't really believe the way he does. So you're going to have to take me with a little faith that I have. And the amazing thing was, God took me at that level of commitment. And Fred came home he and our son was our son was about 10 or 11. And they both came home from work. And I said, Fred, I will move with you from Houston to Dallas, but I want you to know, I don't love you. Fred said great here. And God took me at that level of commitment. And we moved to Dallas God placed is in a community of spiritual believers, he started taking us places where we could be healed and where we get, we could get all the that needs met from healing, inner healing, deliverance, discipleship, mentoring. And it was it maybe six months later, that I realized how much I love my husband, and what a hero he was to me, because he didn't give up on me. And he didn't walk out. And he stayed in there when it was tough. And that's the kind of thing as we've understood movers, that movers do, they they will stay in, and they can handle the challenge of something that's difficult. So God knew to bring me the right kind of man.

John Matarazzo :

Yeah. You made mention of your husband being a mover. Yes. And that's one of the types. That's right. So what is your natural state?

Anna Kendall :

My first behavioral my first language is influencer, which is an emotive language. influencers are optimistic, they are enthusiastic, they're encouraging. They see positive results, even with negative things. There we like the mover, my husband's first language would be an example would be john the baptist are larger. an influencer, which is my first life language would be the Apostle Peter, you talk and talk and talk until you figure something to say, you know that, that oh, we can do this. Let's feel free tabernacle. So, so I, we were just, you know, his first was, was, see what's wrong and correct it. And my first was, nothing's wrong, let's just celebrate so

John Matarazzo :

so I can see how with our understanding how to communicate, that was a big problem. And

Anna Kendall :

then we had this son who was now I was the motive, Fred was kinetic, and our son was, was cognitive. He was very quiet, very brilliant, a very complex, Ace plays a number of musical instruments. By the time he is high school, he spoke five different languages, oh, my God, he just just a brilliant child. But he might know more than anybody in the group would know. And he was didn't feel compelled to tell you, you know, they think and think and think and gain knowledge and understanding. But unless you ask them or less, they feel like there's a reason they don't necessarily tell you. So he was quiet and would withdraw for having time alone, and being comfortable in silence. And I would think something was wrong. And so with my husband, so we were both trying to change him to be like ourselves, we nearly ruined him, until God showed is that he was a precious contemplate or a cognitive language contemplates are like Isaiah or like, the apostle Paul spoke, spoke contemplated frequently. They are brilliant, they love to study, they love to validate the truth, they will love to know. And they they are so adept at so many things, they have trouble finding what they want to be in life, because they don't know if they want to be a linguist, a college professor, an IT person are a musician or because they're so gifted at so many things, okay, that they're so they're quiet and don't feel compelled to talk all the time influencers, we feel kind of compelled to fill all the silence with something, either virtualization or music or tell TV or something. So as we as God's showed us, in our little family, the three categories of intelligences and the three different languages, we learn to celebrate each other, rather than tolerate each other, we learned to celebrate how God wired each of us so differently. And then as we share this with other families, and then with churches and church staffs and, and now with, with businesses and government officials and, and things it just been amazing to see what God has done. And it works because it based on God's word. Yeah, so

John Matarazzo :

God worked in your family first. Yes, he did. And then from there, okay, so there was three personality types or

Anna Kendall :

exact three communication styles.

John Matarazzo :

So where did the other four come from? How did you discover those?

Anna Kendall :

All right, as we looked at, let's say, the category, the intelligence category of kinetic, we saw and this is these are the people who act First, we saw that somewhere like my husband, who acted first and it was lead, follow, get out of the way, make it happen, change, improve, innovate, and entrepreneurial spirit. But there were some who were action oriented, who like to finish what they start and like to check things off their list, and like they have short range goals. And we're practical and diligent and trustworthy. But they were both kinetic languages. So we said, okay, there's two different communication styles under that category. Then we started looking at the emotive languages, they're the ones like me, who are enthusiastic love people, very people oriented, very future oriented, did very encouraging. But there were some that were motive. They were sensitive and warm and nurturing and love the one on one, and passionate about life, very different from the other. But both under that feeling category, then we saw there were two under the the cognitive, there were the ones with long range plans, the shapers who like to to be efficient and organized and develop people and delegate and have the big picture. And there were those who are like the content player who are quiet and brilliant, and like to validate the truth, very different. So we had to under each category, that was about the time we were doing, we're working in our psychiatric Christian programs. And we were in a Bible study with some of our Christian psychiatrists. And we just happen to be reading Romans 12 that day. And as my husband is reading, and he just stopped, and he said, God just told me, there are not six life languages, like we thought all balanced with two under each category, there's actually seven. And we've not met, God hasn't been giving us new revelation, he's been really revealing deep truth about the revelation of the motivational gifts of Romans 12. The one we didn't have, the seventh one was what we call our producer. And those are the ones in Romans 12, that would be the giver, he showed us that producer is our giver is a cognitive language, everybody gives they give out of their hearts, or they give out of their immediate see or whatever. But that producer, the real giver of Romans 12 is a cognitive decision. And they give where they see it's good soil to plant, they also are very resourceful they can make, they can make finances go further than just about anybody. They may not make the most money, but they manage it better. So we saw that there were three life languages under that category. And it's so funny, I was doing a secular seminar one day, and I said, so there are seven and we found the seventh and and and now we know there's not six, there's seven, this vice president instead of instead, well, how do we know that you're not going to come back next year? And there's eight. And we said, Because seven is all and I couldn't say because of EEOC, you can't use scripture are the name Jesus or the Word of God when you're doing a strictly secular? Because it can cause the company to get in trouble, right? So we have to be very careful when we're doing something secular. So I just said, well, because there's not there's only seven. And he said, How do we know that? And I said, Well, we've discovered all there's discovered. He says, Well, how do we know that? And I said, Okay, let me explain this to you. What we have done is we discovered these truths from a very old manuscript. It's an ancient manuscript that was written about 55 AD. And it was written by a brilliant man of that era, whose name was Paul, Paul Tarsus. And he said, Oh, okay. And that answered it, which I was surprised that it did. Because it was like, standing there praying, oh, god, what do I say? Right?

John Matarazzo :

Good, you could get in trouble. And

Anna Kendall :

so he just Okay, that makes sense. And I said, so we studied that learn down. This is how it is developed through the years. And he said, Okay, well, that makes sense. And that was the end of it. But I love it when we're speaking at churches, and we can say Romans 12. That's where it comes from. So the Lord has given us like, each language has a filter, much like glasses, the way you give communication and receive communication. Okay, each language has a passion, that, that if that passion is ignited, they're able to be super successful in life. And in relationships. Each language has a need from others. And if that's met, and we, we like to say, Oh, we don't need things from others, but we all do. God created us that way. He wired us to have needs for others. Absolutely. Give me an example of the filter. Okay. Okay, the mover filter is what is your motive? You know, so it's like, why are you asking me if I'm busy on Saturday?

John Matarazzo :

Okay,

Anna Kendall :

if you don't give me an answer, then our side Wednesday, you know, might be wrong. So with a mover you say, I'm moving Saturday, and I could sure use your help. Are you available cure that's on the table. Okay, the doers filter is, are you doing your share that do or does more than everybody, they're so capable of meeting practical needs. So they're easily they see what needs to be done, and they do it. But if they look around in a house home, they're the only one who's taking out the trash or washing the dishes or folding the clothes, and everybody else is playing video games or watching TV, their filter is are you doing your share? And why aren't you doing your share? And they can go into distress. If, if that's not answered? The influencer is are we connecting? They want a relationship? So there cause like crying trying to connect that the influencer? I mean, the responder is, do you really care about me? They're the nurturing caring ones. If I know how much you care about me, and it's as much as I care about you, let's say they work for you. Is that only my life down for this job? I'll just do it. But let me know that you care about the things I care about. Yeah. So and then you get to the cognitive ones. The shaper is, do you have a plan? If you don't you better join my plan that the producer is are you managing your life? And if not, why is it so out of balance? Because producers are the that's the least frequently spoken as a first language. But they manage their lives so well, they're very well balanced, okay? And then the content later is, am I interested in this? If they're not interested, they may sit in your presence and disappear, they go someplace in their mind. So when you're aware of those unspoken filter questions, you answer them in your communication to them. Okay? You know, you just answer those, and all of a sudden, you go to the next level and the next level. So it's so easy. If you know four things about seven people, you can communicate with everybody. It's that simple. Whether It's Your whether it's your your maid, your spouse, your children, your parents, your employees, your co workers, your your church, you can communicate with everybody.

John Matarazzo :

So is this something that you can use to like, once you know about the communication? iQ? Different types? Yes, you can. I'm sure people, you know, you can take the you can take the test yourself, which I've taken, I still need to get the results. But yeah. So you can look at other people and you say, Oh, this person is probably yes. And so does how does that help you then

Anna Kendall :

communicate your mentally and what we say is, you don't maybe recognize what their first language is to say, okay, you're a Dewar. But what you'll recognize is what language they're speaking, see the golden, first understand yourself and then internalize these seven communication styles. So if I see you coming in here, and you say, you know, I was just in cleaning up the break room, and we need to get everything set up, because we've got a meeting coming in just a few minutes. So would you mind organizing the paper plates and go getting drinks for everybody? Man, I know you're speaking Dewar. And if I want to communicate with you, I'll say, let me help you. You know, I could say, I would help you. But I need to finish this podcast first. You know, what you taught it? Are someone says, there's someone out in the lobby that she just came in, and she seems really, really upset? Do you want me to go there and spend some time and talk to him? RRR? Would you want to send somebody else out there to see what's wrong? Okay. That's somebody who's feeling from the heart. They sent somebody who's hurting, that's a responder speaking. So you respond back with your heart. And just see what that does. Like a lady the other day her for her as it was first language is mover. She went she had some the gap. And she said, she went home and she said, and he's a pastor, she said, dusty, I need for you to put your move around the ship for just a minute. And listen to me with your responder. I just had a wreck and it wasn't my fault. And let me tell you what happened. And I'm okay. But let me just say all that. So did she or she got it? And he was very mature and said there and didn't say, what movers agenda say, what was it your fault? Or were you paying attention? How come you did that? You know, he didn't do any that he showed her compassion and understanding. And it made her feel so close to him. And it just strengthen their relationship. So we can choose which language we want to speak, in order to help the other person experienced Jesus experienced the Jesus in us. And Jesus spoke every one of these languages. Yeah.

John Matarazzo :

And I like what you said at the beginning. I'm not sure if this happened before I hit record or not. But you said everybody can speak all seven.

Anna Kendall :

That's right. Even your last one. My last language is my son's first language. Okay, I've learned how to speak that. So is my husband. So is it's like, you just choose to do that. For instance, he came home from college one time. And so he called he said, I want to come home. And I said, Oh, great. I said, as an influencer, I said, we don't have friends over. You want to have a party or something. You said, No, I just want to come home. Fred was on the phone. He said, Well, you want to go do something. You know, I'm wanting relationships, Fred's wanting action. Michael said, No, I just want to come home. So Fred, and I said, Okay, what we're going to do is, we're going to turn off TV, when he comes in, we're going to put down the mail, we're not going to read the newspaper, we're going to unplug the phone, we're going to sit here and just be with him. And be comfortable in silence, which is really hard for both of us. So we sit there and we sit there. And we this is after Hello, good to see you. Glad you're home after going through all of that. And then we just sat there. And finally he said, I've been thinking a whole lot about Enoch. And I'm thinking, you know, somebody in college named Enoch, I don't know anybody named Enoch. And Fred said, well, who's Enoch? And he said, Well, I've been studying the genealogy of Enoch from the Bible. And he said, you know, Adam was still alive when Enoch was living. And he said, I really believe that Adam, who walked and talked with God personally, he's, I think he must, must have mentored Enoch. And that's how he got so close to God, that He didn't even die, he was just translated. Now is that worth sitting and waiting for? Yeah, if you will wait in the presence of silence with your contemplate your husband, or wife or child, you'll be amazed at what comes forth, because they have a brilliant mind. And they when their spirit filled, it's amazing what God will do. Wow, in that amazing, that's really cool, that you just learned how to do that. Because if what we don't understand the people we don't understand, we tend to judge, there's enough judgment going on in the world today. And if we can just understand where people are coming from, we can accept that, we don't have to try to change them. We don't have to, you know, try to convince them, we just accept the way God created them. And then we're able to communicate the way God created all of us to communicate, yeah,

John Matarazzo :

now, as you're creating, as you're discovering this, you're not really creating it, God already created it, as you're discovering it, and turning into something that other people can use, what are some of the obstacles or some of the detours that you faced in into getting it to where it is now?

Anna Kendall :

Oh, I would say that when you start with something, you know, we got out of the Christian psychiatric business and, and started our company life languages International. And so it was just my husband and I, and there was my husband, son, and I. And then we stayed with that just doing it personally in counseling and doing seminars started around the Dallas area that we started traveling to other cities. And then we started doing radio and TV vision, then the Lord showed us that we need to bring in other coaches and train other people to do this. So it's been, I would say, our whole system of communication has been a step by step by step growth. It hasn't been overnight. Like I said, it's been 3035 years in the development. But that's given us that half a million or so people who've taken the profile around the world, we've discovered that whether you're in South America, or whether you're in Germany, or whether you're in Spain, or in Canada, the life languages still measure the communication styles. And everybody speaks all seven of them

John Matarazzo :

as because it's found in

Anna Kendall :

the way God created us. And there's no combination of languages that are bad. And there's no combination of there's no first language that's bad. It just is what it is. And as you understand it, and can celebrate, just like we've even used it in homeless missions, I will have someone come in who's maybe been on Skid Row, they've lost everything, from health, to family to money to everything, or they agree they've been on drugs, and we sit them down and they take this profile, and we pull it up and say, Wow, could you just look at how God created you, He created you to be a responder just like King David. He created you to the warm and sensitive and nurturing and passionate and strong and mighty. And the devil has tried to steal every bit of that from you. But God is here today to restore that to you. It would be maybe that person has never had anybody speak into their lives before. And suddenly, they get a glimpse of how God created them. It's life changing. So whether you're struggling in your marriage, or your family or your job, or you don't know what you want to be when you grow up, or whether you're 17 or 47, this can can just bring light into your life and help you to celebrate the way God created you.

John Matarazzo :

So is it is it safe to say that your purpose in life that you've discovered is helping other people find their God designed purpose? Absolutely.

Anna Kendall :

And we believe that God has a purpose for each of us. He doesn't try to hide that we go through life saying, What's my purpose, what's my purpose, he wants us to know, our purpose. And if you look at your life languages, this is going to show you your strengths. From your strengths, you understand your communication style, from your communication style, you understand your passions, from your passions, you'll learn your purpose, and from your purpose that will lead you to your place of effectiveness or your destiny. So if people say, I don't know what I'm supposed to do, we can help them find it through the life languages, because God has, has wired each of us a different way. And if we don't find the right place, it can be detrimental to our health. We were doing a city government workshop one time and this woman during the break she said look at my my life language. And she was first like language responder, which is very people oriented, very well done with her second one was influencer, which which again is encouraging and warming and, and relational. But her job was that a payroll clerk. And we said, this would not look like this job fits your profile. She said, Don't say anything, this is the best job I've ever had. And I'm a single mother and I'm making more money than I ever had. We said we wouldn't say anything. And we just went on. About a month later, the HR director called and said, Do you remember Becky? And we said yes. And she said she has just had a massive heart attack, she was only 47. She had that job for about five years. That job was counter to every way God created her is taking all of her effort to do the job of being detailed minded, like I do, or being detailed minded, maybe like a shaper are at one of those languages that would handle that, because she was relational. And we said we're not surprised. And so doing the wrong job, other than what God created you to do can be detrimental to your health. And she came out of the hospital, they of course kept her they put her in a in a position working with the public and she started thriving. They see being in the wrong position can kill us. That's incredible. It is incredible Israel. So it is important that we understand how God created us, because he's created each of us for a specific purpose. And we're born into this world to fulfill that purpose. Yeah, this can help you find it.

John Matarazzo :

Absolutely. Anna, we're talking about finding purpose and everything. You know, Jesus walks with us through our entire lives. But sometimes we don't recognize that. Can you identify a time in your life where Jesus was walking with you, but you didn't realize it until you look back?

Anna Kendall :

I think probably it Oh, so many ways. I would say what are the ways probably when I married my husband. I married him because you know, I mean, I I recognized his strengths and rivers. And I thought he was the cutest thing I've ever seen. And just Yeah, all those wonderful romantic things. After I got married, I found out that everything that I was attracted to him about were the very things that I resented. And the same about me, he just come back from Southeast Asia. And, and here I was, I loved life. And I love people and I had fun and I adored him. And then after we got married, those are the things that threaten him, it's like, are you going to settle down and you're going to bounce off the ends of the earth. So he starts trying to control me and I started trying to not be controlled. So I would say that God was walking with me during that time of falling in love with my husband. And even though I went through the two years of trying to get rid of his I thought it was my problems. He was the one God knew that I needed to bring me to the place in life where I would accept God and accept the gift of my husband to me, and all the things he has in store for us. So I think I think back on that I the Lord, what if I had not? You know, what if you'd had not chosen him for me, or if I'd been with somebody else, I'm not saying God would have abandoned me. But I can just look and see that he was there leading and directing me to find. And then I would also say, as we're developing the life languages, there were times that this is just so much trouble. We're teaching lots of things. We're teaching a lot of stuff about how to save your marriage and how to fight for your family. Let's just make this a little teaching we do. And my husband said no, Anna, this is a concept God is giving us. And even though it is long in developing, we're not going to walk away from it. movers have a tenacity that is needed. I know God was in that with the tenacity of my husband, to keep us moving forward in this.

John Matarazzo :

That's great. And you mentioned earlier about the whole dealing with the separation. And if you can go back to a time in your life before that and interact with yourself and say, Anna, I need you to take this advice I'm giving you right now, what would you tell yourself,

Anna Kendall :

I would tell myself that it took you a long time to understand what covenant was. See, I was I was very secular in my approach to life. And I thought love was based on feelings. I didn't understand love was based on commitment and covenant. And I know my husband did understand that he had more maturity there than I did. So when the bad feelings came in, and the good feelings started leaving, I thought I'd made the wrong choice. Something's wrong here. I need to get out of this and go find the right person. This is wrong. So if I had had an earlier revelation, if someone had sat me down and said, Anna, let me tell you what covenant is all about. And what commitment is all about? Love is more than a feeling. It's a decision. It's a covenant. It's a commitment. The feelings come and go. I don't think I maybe I'd heard that all my life that he didn't register enough that I internalized it. So I had to walk through some dark places in the process of learning that, yeah.

John Matarazzo :

Do you have a verse in the Bible that you would consider a life verse?

Anna Kendall :

Well, at this stage in my life, I'm not saying that, that this has been true, and all of them in all my stages. But at this stage, my husband, I've been married 54 years, we have seven grandchildren, we have our first great grandchild. And I love the Scripture, I think is in first john that says, I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in the light. And that is the verse I stand on, for my children, for my grandchildren, for my great grandchildren to have no greater joy than to know they walk in the light of Jesus. And I pray that for everybody, for their children and their children's children, because we are a multi generational culture of people. And what happens to one generation gets transferred over to the next and the next, brokenness can go down from one generation to the next. But also healing can be passed from one generation to the next. Divorce goes through generations. But we can each decide it stops here from this generation forth. There's not going to be divorce. So we want the blessings of God as the Word says, daily passed down through 1000 generations and not the curse is we stand against the curses, and we pray for the blessings to be released. That's good.

John Matarazzo :

Uh, one more question that I gotta ask, what book do you think would impact my life and you can, you can definitely mention your own. But if you have another one.

Anna Kendall :

Oh, my goodness, we used to own a Christian bookstore. Okay, for 12 years. So whatever book I read last was usually my favorite because I had to read so many to stay in that business. So I go back to some of the new ones are great. There's some of the old ones that were just phenomenal too. I would say that, depending on where you are and and what you need. I love Myles Munroe books. Okay. I love his book on purpose. I think that was a revelation for me that book. I love books by Robert Morris on blessings on the blessed, blessed life. I really love those books. I would say those would be great ones too, that I would recommend to get started that there's so many great books on marriage and family and what so you can't go wrong to go to a Christian bookstore and buy lots of books. Our book. Yeah, communication IQ. Of course I recommend Right. Yeah. So but I would certainly there are many wonderful books there. Yeah,

John Matarazzo :

well, let's do a plug for communication. Let's let's talk about this

Anna Kendall :

communication. IQ tells you so much more than we've been able to cover today. It goes into depth on each of the seven life languages and helps you there's also a free assessment that goes with it. That won't tell you where you are in all seven of it. But it gives you your first communication style and that is the starting place for you to understand you're yourself. And as you read about it and you learn about these seven is simple. This is such a simple concept that we have 12 year old or eight year old kids they get it is so complex, we can teach on it for two weeks before you get it all. So it just but you take it you know truth of untruth precept upon precept, just like the word of God till you get it. But this is this book communication IQ came out of a need of speaking to so many churches, and we would have men or women who would come up and say, my wife is not a Christian, she will she will listen to this was all about Christian are I'd like to take this to my business, but I can't take it there if it's Christian. So Whitaker has asked us to write a crossover book, okay, which is based on biblical principles and Christian principles. But it's written to a secular audience. So you can take it to your non believing children, or your non believing boss or your major or whoever that might reject something that talks about, you know, the seven words of Jesus or something. But this is all biblically based, but it's written to a secular audience. So it will reach people that sometimes it's hard to reach. And then from there, when we do secular seminars, we have someone come up, usually, and every one of them that say, something like, this is based on the Word of God is that we've not said a thing, but they, if they know the word of God, they recognize it. Or one time this woman came up and said, I don't go to church. I said, Okay. She said, I probably should go to church. And I said, Yeah, geez, do you think I should go to church? Yeah, I think probably, it's a good thing for all of us to get out. So they perceive that the power and the truth that comes through these pages, what's the best way to get ahold of the book? Well, most Christian bookstores have it. Okay, you can contact our office, which is CIQ book.tv CIQ book.tv. And we give a discount, or you can go to Amazon, okay, and they give a discount. Sure.

John Matarazzo :

I'll make sure that in the show notes, I put a link to this so people can just excellent. Go to that and click that. Ok.

Anna Kendall :

And Wonderful.

John Matarazzo :

Well, Anna, thank you so much for spending some time with me. It's great to meet you. Thank you. And I look forward to getting my own results of the communication. Yeah, okay,

Anna Kendall :

call until me so we can talk about you. Sounds good. Okay. All right. Bless you. Thanks for having me on.

John Matarazzo :

It was a complete blessing to spend time with Anna Kendall. It truly was an unexpected along the way moment for me. I recorded this interview the same afternoon is my interview with Karen MacLeod, which is along the way, Episode 15. A friend that works for Whitaker house publishers found out that I was doing an interview already and asked me if I would like to also interview Anna Kendall. When you make yourself available and obedient, God will open up amazing opportunities for you. I know that to be true firsthand. And his story of a reconciled relationship is really encouraging. I really respect and his husband Fred for how he would enter back. And through the Lord's direction their marriage was restored. They needed a true relationship with the Lord, not just a Christian facade, but a true relationship. And I mentioned that the verse for this season of her life is third john one for I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth. If you don't know if you are following the truth, and haven't began or true relationship with Jesus yet, I encourage you to call out to him right now. And ask him to become the forgiveness of your past and the leader of your future. I'd love to connect with you if you have questions about what this means. Anna and Fred also needed to speak and understand each other's languages got reveals life's mysteries through His Word. And as we read it, we began to understand God's heart and purpose. They found tremendous revelation in Romans chapter 12. And it really launched them into this ministry where they are now helping hundreds of thousands of people communicate with each other better, which are your primary languages mover, Dewar, influencer responder shaper producer contemplate or you can find out by going to the life languages website and getting Anna candles book communication IQ by Fred and Anna candle. They offer a free assessment on their website to see your primary language. I'll provide the link for that assessment and the book in my show notes. Also, I took the assessment and will be going over my life language results in part two of translating life's languages in along the way Episode 17 with life languages international training director Carolyn Santos, who I also met that same day. Thank you for listening to a long the way if you've enjoyed joining me along my way, please share this with a friend who you think will be encouraged by this podcast. Also, please rate and subscribe to this podcast. You can follow us on Facebook, Instagram and at my website along the way dot media for all the episodes. You can always email me at John along the way@gmail.com I hope that you've enjoyed this part of my journey and may you realize when Jesus is walking with you along your way