Unofficial Controller Podcast
Your number one weekly gaming podcast for all the latest Sony Playstation , Microsoft Xbox , Nintendo Switch and PC News. Retrospectives , Readers Mail and Industry Chat.
Unofficial Controller Podcast
When Your Wife Claims Your Switch and Your Daughter Claims Independence
Flying solo this week, I take you on a journey through the strange territory of being a "gaming widower" – that peculiar state where your console has been commandeered by a loved one. With my wife happily immersed in Persona 5's stylish world and my daughter off to university, I've found myself reconnecting with forgotten corners of my gaming collection.
My No Man's Sky adventures took an unexpected turn as I ventured into the expedition system for the first time. What started as curiosity about the new Corvette ship became a fascinating lesson in how differently the game can be experienced. After 15 hours of collecting parts and exploring waypoints, I discovered the bittersweet truth about expeditions – you can't bring everything back to your main save. And don't get me started on what happens when you reach the galactic center! Being kicked back to the edge of the universe with all your technology damaged feels like the universe laughing at your accomplishments.
The gaming industry continues its relentless evolution with some concerning developments. Silent Hill F leaks threaten to spoil one of the year's most anticipated horror experiences, while Nintendo's decision to outsource customer support raises questions about the company's famed quality standards. Meanwhile, Xbox's price increases reflect a troubling trend where consumers bear the full brunt of economic challenges.
These industry shifts make our gaming community even more valuable. Whether you're a longtime listener or just discovering us, the Discord server offers a sanctuary where genuine connections form around our shared passion. I see your conversations when you think I'm not looking, and nothing makes me prouder than watching this community thrive.
What gaming experiences have kept you company during life's transitions? Join the conversation and remember – there's nothing wrong with being given the unofficial controller. It's what you do with it that counts.
We mash genres. We pitch games. You question our sanity.
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Cheers gamers!
Hello and welcome to the Unofficial Controller Podcast podcast, your weekly gaming podcast episode number by my count, number 286 this week, obviously me, george, joined by no one. Coho seat sits swinging empty in the wind. Um, I guess my breath has ratcheted up another, another level. All joking. Well, as serious as that is, all joking aside, I'm hoping to be joined by at least one of the men next week. Until then, do you know what? I've got a one-man army fan club. You can imagine I can be a one-man army podcast as well. In fact, look at this wage bill. Yeah, I could. This wage bill. Yeah, I could absorb all that. Not yet. Don't go full crazy dictator yet.
Speaker 1:George, oh, although this many solo shows on the bounce, you've got to be wondering George, are you okay? Um, yeah, I'm doing okay. I've had an interesting week. Obviously. Daughter's been at uni so I've been like a cat in a hot tin roof. Told you about taking her down last weekend. That was emotional, but you know it's for the best out there in the brave world doing the things that you know I was probably doing at that age, fair play. So, yeah, I've had that to contend with. But you didn't come here for the live updates. I just thought I'd share it because I'm sure some listeners out there are probably in a similar place, or you've got younger children and you're thinking, oh, I don't need to worry about that. Snap, it'll be on you.
Speaker 1:When we started this show, game Boy Matt, he was a courageous, immortal two-year-old who was just going to play video games for the rest of his life. He's now I don't believe he's now 42, mortgage kids. Yeah, kids are at secondary school as well now. So you know, time moves on for us all. But you came here, george. I'll be honest with you, mate. I'll pay this first section lip service, but I don't give a rat's ass about your life. Tell me what you've been playing, then give me my gaming news. You piece of dirt. You're absolutely right. Who was I to think that I could engage with you in that way? I am. Tell me what you've been playing, then Give me my gaming news. You piece of dirt. You're absolutely right. Who was I to think that I could engage with you in that way? I am Turned into one of those podcasters, haven't I? What an absolute piece of garbage. So then you have to ask what are you doing playing, george? Well, the gaming widower chronicles continue.
Speaker 1:The Seren 4, as I say, was knocked into a cocked hat by my beloved wife. I'm now watching her very happily play through Persona 5. I think the upgrades and the upticks in the story worked just as I thought they would do and uh, yeah, we're easy over 15 hours very quickly, just, you know a very good game. The battle transitions are one of my favorites. At the end they kind of walk right to left across the screen at the same time. It kind of loads then blurs into exactly where you were, always with the best music, always with absolutely kick-ass monster designs as well, dungeons, always humorous, the kind of nods to the real life, etc. Etc. I don't want to lay too hard in on the Persona 5 story because there's lots for you to get into there, unlike Persona 4. It's probably only a 10-year-old game, so, looking after your honour gamers, but, yeah, thoroughly enjoying watching that.
Speaker 1:But George, george, george, george, george, george, george. George didn't show that while your wife plays. No, I'm not courageously driving down Interstate 16 to you when your wife's been playing. No, hold on a little bit what you've been playing. Well, let's start low. There's been a bit more MLB 14 on the Vita George, just let him cook. Okay, he's been a bit of that on there, which again looks like a watercolor reset, whatever setting I'd messed about with, and everything was back how I liked it, what you know very playable, not too dissimilar to the Switch 1 version of MLB that I was playing not that long ago, but visually obviously a little bit worse, maybe a lot worse, but on the size of the screen I can't tell. All looks garbage to me, but the playability's there really been enjoying just sort of crunching through that nice in your hand form factor, the, the vita it's always a rewarding been cleaning up the vita a little bit, just kind of.
Speaker 1:I like the bubble menu on the. Here you go, george. Yeah, pull up a pew listener. George is gonna get, george is gonna get talking about a console that's dead. Yeah, I am. I love the bubble menu, but it can be a bit overwhelming when you've got the whole screen filled with bubbles. So what I did the other day is I just paired it down to four bubbles on the central. What, george? What the hell mate? I paired it down to four bubbles on each screen in along the center line and then I had one of the backgrounds on the v that had the sort of white energy trail through it along that section. It reminds me more of the xmb, like that, and which is sony's menu system from you could argue the vita and some of their tvs, I think, from that era, and obviously, most infamously, the PS3. I quite like that menu, I'll be honest with you, I don't know why, and I felt like the PS4, kind of the evolution was there.
Speaker 1:The PS5, as much as it was nice to have something nice and new out the gates when we first got it, I had to dismen you sometimes on the PS5, all these years in, I still find myself sort of half way down the wrong road. No, you're right, it's home. Button down all the way to the right, or one flick to the left, if that works these days, and then enter rest mode and blah. I find myself sort of PS4 ptsd up in the top trying to like george, what you're doing. I mean, admittedly I am running both systems concurrently and you know so the the memory probably never faded of the ps4, but uh, yeah, navigating the ps5. The old hello there. Welcome to the old podcast. The, the old ps5. The old hello there. Welcome to the old podcast. The old PS5, the old oh, forget it Anyway menus Got all of them. But the one thing you've got to love about modern menus is customization, kind of can, within reason, make them how you want.
Speaker 1:Anyway, before I got started with all of that, I was talking about the Vita. I downloaded a game that I've played an awful lot of on there, thoroughly enjoyed, and I've downloaded again. It's Motorstorm, the Road Control Car Challenge version they brought out for the PS3 and the Vita. Just quite a fun little game, you know, and again it lends itself to the vita's controls and the kind of style of play. You kind of stood watching remote control cars. The control system kind of helps you pan around the car a little bit, but, yeah, thoroughly enjoyable.
Speaker 1:If you've ever grown up like in sort of iron hotmans supercars, those sorts of power drive within reason, um, you'll love this. It's so cool. I remember when I stumbled across it I think it was maybe live fresh and raw at the time, or maybe just post what's this rc thing? Kind of I wanted a store, but I don't know if I wanted it. This isn't what I wanted, but it's bloody great, which was basically the mind journey I went on. Let's have a quick slurp of my latte. There we go Wet the whistle, as they say, yeah, so definitely recommend that. If you want a hidden gem, um, georgie boy, yeah, he's a latin lone ranger riding on down, bring hidden gems to me. So yeah, rgt sat, I guess I'm the hidden gem warrior.
Speaker 1:Now expect to see the discord section updated sometime in the next 200 years. So get in on that. If you haven't got a Vita, now would be the time to grab one. With all politeness and respect, yeah, so get in on that. If you haven't got a Vita, now would be the time to grab one. We didn't. With all politeness and respect for him, we came here to talk about you reclaiming your switch too. Didn't happen, probably not going to happen, but you were the biggest proponent. I'm still a massive fan, mate, but Rachel's busy with something right now and I'll be honest with you, so am I, because no Man's Sky, let me tell you, gents, ladies, went on an expedition the other day. Now, the expeditions I've never even looked at.
Speaker 1:My specific way of playing no Man's Sky is my very specific way of playing no Man's Sky. You know what I'm like. I'm an absolute weirdo Role playing some weird-ass sci-fi fantasy drivel in me own head off doing whatever it is that I want to do. Some would argue that's the beauty of no Man's Sky Appreciating that sunrise across a craggy alien mountain, seeing that large alien aquatic mammal as you sort of swim around that next rocky outcrop into that wonderful, rich blue tropical bay. It's that moment of wonder as you see a black hole among the stars and the planets. It's about finding that rare item that you've been looking for, seeing that ship or freighter that you desire.
Speaker 1:But no Man's Sky is also one hell of a multiplayer activity, for want of a better word. Now, that's not something I've ever doubled in, you know. Again, it was a bit of a weirdo. You know, really, play with other people? No, you're right, I don't so single player kind of guy. But either way, this new Corvette thing, as you know, has got me pumped up and I thought well, I'll give this Expedition a go Now. It's actually quite good.
Speaker 1:I didn't like the whole. Okay, I'm starting an expedition. Oh, here I am in the starship, here I am crashed on a planet. Here I am, hang on, hang on, hang on. And, and thankfully there's a little bit of a like, a like a thread pulling through the expedition. So you basically conjure up or you summon up the circular space station. You can pull up anywhere.
Speaker 1:I can't remember what it's called now, but it's where you interact with the multiplayer element of the game or some of these wider sort of limited time missions ak missions, aka expeditions. Uh, you go inside, you land, you go to the expedition center. They they sell it to you like a, like a jet to holiday. Basically, there's this list of things. Look at all this great stuff you can get. This is how it's going to happen. This is what you're going to do. You're believing in a moment, gate three. Oh great, yeah, let me get all my stuff.
Speaker 1:So then you pack your little suitcase, which is how I saw it. So there's some inventory slots and technology slots that you can. Let's say, you've got that favorite widget or thing on your multi-tool or or whatever it is that you want to bring with you. Now we, we'll see. I took with me the basics, the oh, I'll take some carbon and I'll take this, and I'll take yeah, I'll take some condensed metals and no chromatic metal, yeah, and maybe some copper, just in case. Yeah, okay, yeah, ferrite dust, yeah, whilst mining, and then the circuit board and a wiring loom and you know that usual dribble. Okay, yeah, yeah, put that there. Okay, technology, I'm not going to bother with that, screw it, I'm going to. Let's go naked.
Speaker 1:So then you press, join expedition, your beloved ship. All of a sudden you're divorced from it, rendered New, prostate, fresh born on the ground of an alien planet, millions of miles away from where you were. I don't know if I talked about this last week. We'll come back to this. So you're in the galactic center, you know, minding your own. No Refresh. That was what I was going to talk about. But we need to go back to the original beginning. I think I might have talked about it last week, so maybe scratch that. So we're on this expedition, thrown down to start a world.
Speaker 1:Anyway. They tell you to build this transporter and boom, you can go to the space station where they give you a couple of items to sort of build a something that will just just about flying out of the space station. So you get given these Corvette parts. Then you basically just go round on what I would call a grand tour Land on the planet, catch three fish, cook them in the ship's nutrient thing, travel so many X light years, get to this way station, sign in at this place, get a tick in the box to prove you've been here. What else was there? Just loads of little fun things for helping you explore the Corvette and the things that you've got out the back or I thought I was getting out the back of it. So in the end I ended up with quite the envious Corvette cruising around.
Speaker 1:You know, these expeditions aren't so bad, I feel like they'll be. You know these expeditions aren't so bad, I feel like they'll be, you know, a bit sexier. I love all this. How do I get all this hard work? And I also ended up, you know, desperately building up my fuel reserves, finding these rare materials, doing this, doing that, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, okay, I feel like I've done enough.
Speaker 1:Now, unless you mean fundamentally not knowing how expeditions work, I thought, no, a little bit like Michael Barrett, more striker-looking, or any of these games where I realised he's a social pariah. Bruce Forsyth, you know a game where you play your cards right. Well, you've got to risk it a bit. You've got so far, you've come through. Is Bruce safe? It's like every presenting you watch when you're growing up actually was stranger danger, I think. I think Bruce was proven to be safe. But we're probably one league team mile away from finding out. He was an absolute sort. But we're going with him for now.
Speaker 1:One of those game shows, anyway, where you take a risk, you put it all on the line. I thought, well, I've risked enough, now I want to bank a bit. So I thought, yeah, I've got this shit, I've got all these parts. I don't necessarily want this ship because I've not arranged it in the best way. I've just arranged it in a way just to get the job done. It kind of looks all right. It's not the prettiest thing I've ever built. I just literally clapped all the bits. It's like oh George, here's the Lego set. You're not meant to use all the pieces like that. No, oh, don't worry, I've used them all. Now it's clunking down. It's got bits hanging off it like Chelsea. It's irrelevant To me.
Speaker 1:It was a collection of parts that I was going to bring back so I could help bolster the fighting rooster's abilities. That's the ship in my main game my save, my fighting rooster, great like a World War II bomber. The future I found In-game story law. It's already a million years old at that point when I got it. It's been around. It's got a bit of a checkered past in the universe. I found it did it up fundamentally okay, clagged a load of new technologies off my old ship, on it and some of the black market stuff. I had the fighting roosters back looking kick-ass, well, looking ropey, which is how I designed it Very modular, but built in a time of war. These things just have to be bolted.
Speaker 1:See what I'm doing with the story. Sean Murray, if you're listening, just let me get at these expeditions, because as good as these expeditions are, as good as no Man's Sky is, I want more lore. I want gritty lore. I want facts and figures. I want stories of wars long gone. I want to see, you know battle fleets broken in space and like a little tourist place you can land and walk around and get the history. I know it's procedural, I know we're probably never going to get that. I know we've got the Atlas. I know we're probably never going to get that. I know we've got the atlas. I know we've got all that other stuff in there that if you want to get into lore a bit more, you can. Um, I just, and again, the stories in no man's sky come from our own imagination. So, yeah, to be honest, I got that excited about the final reason.
Speaker 1:I don't know where I was going with it. Oh, bringing things back for the expedition. Yes, george, it was safely navigating a Michael Barron water, do you know? I've seen him on Instagram. He must be in the clear. Yeah, anyway, so I'm going to take this stuff back and I get to the expedition terminal and it's like no mate, no, you only get to take back when you've finished the expedition.
Speaker 1:Well, I was blowed out. I was hanging out my backside. I was like I don't know how much more I've got for this. You know, fight those sentinels down. I don't really want to. I'm a lover, not a fighter. But you put me in handcuffs to get this over the line. Okay, so I I've kind of about got to my wits end, not wits end, but you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I was about like I was a bit burnt out by the expedition. The scale of it was a bit much. But one thing that was quite rewarding is that, yes, I could come back to my own universe. No, all that stuff's in the bin, I think in the bin, possibly frozen in states on the other side of the universe. But I got from the sins because I think I completed phase one and I've done loads of the checkpoints but just some of the things to get it over the line. I haven't done. Like I landed on the anomaly that's the circular space station that I forgot the name of earlier and I'm sure some dude nicked me. Last two Gravitino balls I needed for the silent running thing You're meant to grow plants on board, aka the name of the little mini sort of way marker that you're meant to get and then you claim your reward in there that you can use in the expedition.
Speaker 1:And then when you get all that stuff together and you finish the expedition, I think you can bring it back. So I might need to invest in that a little bit more, but I like the idea of it. I like the way they use it to give you a little bit of a tutorial and also, like I said, a bit of a busman's holiday. You know you go on one of these expeditions. It certainly whet my whistle because I've seen some of the sort of exclusive build items and special bits and bobs you can unlock. I need to check these expeditions and find out how sort of indentured you'd be to it really, because it's not the way I normally play.
Speaker 1:As I say, I do find it interesting to a degree to get like little stickers and you check off on the way station. Aesthetically, the menu and the way you go through it bit battle, passy, but quite enjoyable. You're just doing normal no man's sky things to get it done. Uh, and I do believe if you finish the whole corva expedition you end up with like a pet. I don't even know what it is. It looks a bit like a refiner with legs, but it's meant to be some sort of cyber mole or mouse or something I'd. I'll be honest with you, it's not the sort of pet I'm looking for. I did have a pet in the. I kind of like befriended a robot dog. Maybe I should see if I've still got that. Quite cool, you could load them up like pack animals. Yeah, there you are, george, showing you true colours. Mate, you land on a planet, colonise it and then use its inhabitants as your pack animals. What an absolute piece of garbage.
Speaker 1:Other than the expedition, I've just been sort of, as I say, I went back to my world and put my three posters I locked after 15 hours of work on the wall. Uh, kiss goodbye to the rest of it. Uh, and I think I mentioned this last week but I got to the galactic center and, for all your hard work, what it does is it spits you out right back where you began. But it's broken into kind of four quarters Easy, medium hard, super hard and it spits you, I do believe, in the super hard section it's not that bad. I've got all the oh and it also damages all your technologies and all of you and when I say all your technologies, not just your ship, not just your ship, not just your multi-weapon, but even you. I thought welcome to the galactic center. Oh yeah, here's a long video of you being kicked all the way to the back end of the universe Well done, by the way but also in your face, pig boy.
Speaker 1:And I was then found myself awake on a very hostile planet my beloved fighting rooster gone. A moment of panic descends upon me. I can't use my scanner, I can't do anything. I'm literally like a freshly born man back in this world Scrambling stuff. Together found my ship. It's exactly the same gameplay loop the first time you turn on no Man's Sky, except you're repairing all your gizmos, not the in-game baseline gizmos. Some of the gizmos I had were super rare.
Speaker 1:Now, if I'd been thinking what I would have done if I'd known and I didn't know was, I'd have took all my technology items off and stored them in my inventory or on my freighter and then, when this happened, I'd have woken up, summoned my freighter, sorted all that out like a boss. But no, no, I looked like that kid that just in his Peugeot 205, wet morning, felt he was Colin McRae, went in, didn't expect the leaves to be that slippy and found himself upside down in a ditch with a magic tree lodged within his lips. And you know, you're a young lad, so probably half a burnt Lambert up your nose and whatever beverage that you were rolling with back in the days when the 205 was a concurrent vehicle, probably a full fat Coke, because do you know what? You don't trust that diet stuff until you see what's around the corner in the days when the 205 was a concurrent vehicle. Probably a full fat Coke, because do you know what? You don't trust that diet stuff. Wait till you see what's around the corner in the future. Son Literal cancer in a can. Yeah, I glug it.
Speaker 1:I used to, just for a bit of I don't know, just to get my dander up a little bit so I could stream Back in the days when the UCP streamed. Yeah, don't know, I'll be rushing to do that again. Covid, it made us all do strange things, didn't it? But no one needs to basically watch me play video games for an hour or three. If you do, head on over to the YouTube, it's your new favorite place. There's a whole playthrough of Minecraft there to laugh at and get embarrassed about. There's even a little bit of me farming I don't know what else, maybe even a little bit of no Man's Sky. So if you want to see the advancement of who probably someone who felt like he was quite far up the evolution train of no Man's Sky then to now, yeah, quite the journey.
Speaker 1:In terms of what else I've been playing, I literally think that's it, obviously backseat, driving Rachel through her gaming, but, yeah, no one really wants to hear about that. Maybe they do, but, as I say, I touched on it with my kind of oversights of her gameplay. Now, as always, you came in to find out what I've been playing and you, you come to find out why I've been playing. Because I'm the video, I'm the video game podcaster. Yeah, right, so I'm playing all the latest games. I've got an opinion on all the latest stuff? Well, well, no, but I just play what I like and if there's stuff in the rotation that I'm hyped for, like Ghosts, yeah, we'll get it, we'll play it, we'll give you our thoughts. I'm excited to see how that pans out. That'd be interesting Again.
Speaker 1:Me and OG Tom talked this week and it's like I'm trying to get a barometer on the hype train for Ghost of Yota and I'm struggling. Yeah, for all intents and purposes, we should be pumped, but I don't know, as the industry's that pumped right now for whatever reason, all things are depressed within it, so I don't know where that's going. Anyway, we, to get you what you need, we scatter our darkest regions of the internet to bring you the latest stories first up. A little bit of a consumer beware moment here. Let me wet my whistle before we rip into the news. If you're driving, obviously, if you've got a cupola, you've got all that take a little swiggy pop, whatever it is. What have you got in that? Message in and let me know Again.
Speaker 1:Last week I asked the silent majority, the thousands of you, to message in. I want you to just thank you individually, mano a Mano. I don't even want you to join the full scene. Just send me a little something so I can say thank you. That's so I can say thank you. It's literally all I want to do. You've been with me since day one. We've been emotionally been one hell of a ride and I just want to look, I want to turn around, like Nick Cage, to my Pedro Pascal co-driver and say, oh, gee, gee, no man, that's what I want. That's the experience I want with you. Let me wet me with some. You wet yours as you drive down Highway 85 or, oh, the B12, wherever. That is All the Autobahn.
Speaker 1:We've got listeners all over the world. I'm sorry if I don't know your peculiar. I don't know what you drive down. Obviously we've got some Australian listeners or probably not after I did my dirty dingo thing the other day but some Australian listeners. I don't know what you drive down, whether you drive down motorways, a roads. You're a bit British, but you've also got a little sprinkle of American. I don't know what's happening, but I'm all for it.
Speaker 1:Anyway, george, you started off by saying you'd come here for the news and you went. Yeah, you're right, I did. How are these one-man shows working for you, hopefully good. Anyway, consumer advice, beware Silent Hill F. Ps5 spoilers could soon start steeping online. To just make sure, that was the word that was meant to be saying there. Now, holy Trinity moment. Push square. Sammy Barker. Yeah, yeah. I've read more of Sammy Barker's words and he's said himself yeah, sammy, are we the same man? Now Speak a man's words long enough and you will become that man. Silent Hill F. So it's me, sammy Barker, on the UCP.
Speaker 1:Silent Hill F is a narrative focused horror experience you'll probably want to experience fresh. It's problematic, then, that retail copies are beginning to break their street date and find their way into the hands of lucky consumers. While this is good news for the fortuitous individuals, enjoying extra early access to the game is still days away from release at time of writing. Even more expensive Deluxe Edition, which unlocks 48 hours earlier, will not be playable until next week. Therefore, we'd encourage you to exercise caution when browsing the internet this weekend. There's a strong possibility a spoiler's getting out and spreading fast. The good news is that Silent F is sounding pretty strong. A first review from Japanese magazine Famitsu went live this week and was extremely complimentary about the release. Just a few more days to wait.
Speaker 1:Listener, now, starting here left, I want to imagine quite exciting horror game. What's the one thing about a horror game? You need to protect the scares, the drops. You need to maintain the mystery. Obviously, this game seeping out is probably a bit of a concern. So, consumer advice keep your head down, stay off the net, stay away from it. I know the temptation, like og tom's an absolute nightmare.
Speaker 1:A new game comes out. You're going to watch the ending on a video. Oh, I don't. I don't feel like I'm going to see this through. Yeah, you've already watched the ending, tom. I don't think that's the reason. I would say it's a large contributor to the reason. So stay away, don't? You know? I've gone a bit savvier in my old age. I'm not for the show. Sometimes I have to go chase stuff down and I don't like doing it because it's like, oh, I'm ruining it for myself. But you know we'll do it because it's helpful for you guys and I believe it's. You know what a podcast should be doing, but I try and stay away from the trailers, even these days.
Speaker 1:You know, after that initial, once we get close to drop, I want to step back and try and wind my mind up a little bit. I know I want to buy it, and I have to admit this new strategy is working for me. I'm arriving at games for fresh critique, knowing as little to nothing about them as possible, which I think is working. It's it's a it's a positive thing to do. I think it keeps the excitement there. You know, oh, what's around that corner. I know what's around the corner because this was in the gameplay trailer that they posted up last week.
Speaker 1:So go there, do that, grab this, grab that. Oh, I think in that video I saw that there was this here, like hidden on the roof. Yeah, that really powerful. And yeah, yeah, grab that. No, no, no, it's not worth it. It's worse than it was basically video game deja vu, but you're coppice during it. It's not, it's not, it's not right, but you do, you. You play how you want. If you pre-order Silent Hill 5, though, and basically go and watch it streamed on YouTube this weekend, you're an idiot, but whatever makes you happy.
Speaker 1:I suppose one thing I've got for you listeners have you ever had a game spoiled that badly that you've just ended up roaring, crying, cancelling the game? Have you ever kept so clear of all the leaks and pre-published gameplay trailers and everything. And then got a game and it turned out to be Knight Rider 2 on PS2? A disappointing and underwhelming experience, if ever there was one In my dream. They just took the San Andreas engine basically the map and threaded a Knight Rider story through it. It would have been absolute fire, but instead they made us jump over jumps and just drive like a hot wheels car. So disappointing. I'm waiting for a Knight Rider game. I feel like Roxanne might be the only people that can deliver it, but I live in hope. Anyway, don't come at me defending the Knight Rider game, just don't, okay, no, up.
Speaker 1:Next, a bit of Ninty news, as we try and do the whole eternity as best as we can. This is courtesy of Nintendo Life. Nintendo of America reportedly cuts loose customer service contract as it looks to outsource Alana Higgs piping up yesterday. This is a bit of news I find it quite interesting because we'll talk about that at the end. A new report states that Nintendo of America is cutting loose around 200 long term contractor jobs. It's decided to outsource its customer support services ahead of the Switch 2's first holiday season. This report, which Alana has, which I now have, comes from IGN's Rebecca Valentine so there's a real journalist who spoke to numerous customer support staff and sources under anonymity, many confirmed to the outlet. They were told back in March 2025 their contracts were being cut, gradually, being phased out. None of the contractors have received direct communication from Nintendo itself.
Speaker 1:Hearing is said through agencies about the news. With the hearing through agencies, were they ever directly employed by Nintendo? That's a few things to ask here. We'll dig in Now. These contractors are expected to train their replacements, many of whom are based in South American countries Ha ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah Primarily in Brazil, argentina and Nicaragua. These have previously been limited to first-line contacts who act as representatives to send the information and probably on to the main team in the US. There are concerns from the sources that there will, in the immediate term, be a drop in quality of support, particularly once the fully trained agents leave, with the big end seeming to prioritise saving While the new contractors all speak English. Some IGN spoke to said there were a number of communication issues internally, with an increase in customs becoming irate, belligerent and even racially abusive. Wow, isn't this a prism schism for the whole of humanity laid bare?
Speaker 1:Nintendo of America is in response to IGN's statement that the claims shared with IGN include inaccurate information and our top priority is to provide excellent customer service. Let's not cherry-pick this a bit. Let's give Nintendo their full and hearty official response. While we have nothing to announce about our internal business activities, the claims shared with IGN include inaccurate information. At Nintendo of America, we're extremely thankful to have partnered with several companies and their talented contractors over the years to deliver high-quality customer service experiences. We continue to evolve and expand our customer service model with external partners that have a deep experience in all markets we serve across the Americas. This approach allows us to support the full scope of our customer service mission in both North America and our growing Latin American markets and better scale to seasonal needs for consistent support. As always, our top priority is to provide excellent customer support, and we are pleased that customer satisfaction with the service provided by all partners remains positive.
Speaker 1:Now, one source told rgn that nintendo america normally works with two us-based agencies got a sniff at the start. This is where I think the rot is, to be fair, to fill the customer support roles including fraud, chargebacks, chat logs, phone and email support, refunds, repair support and more. There are a few people remaining on site overseeing it, but essentially it's all going away. A former employee acknowledges the nature of being a contractor and that there was no guarantee to return after contract breaks, but feels nintendo could have approached things differently. I personally feel as though nintendo could have easily hired on a bunch of the contractors as fte full-time employees and had better results, while saving money from having to use the agencies. It's such a volatile economy to be dumping us all into. While others echoing similar concerns, especially with the rise of generative AI in the customer support field, a lot of us are feeling betrayed, empty, like almost led on in a way, are feeling betrayed, empty, like almost led on in a way. This is sadly not the first time Nintendo has cut contractors up suddenly. Back in 2024, nintendo of America downsized and restructured its own testing department, with a reported 100 plus contractors losing their jobs.
Speaker 1:George, what does all this mean to me as a gamer? Do I care? Well, yes and no. As I said, I'm going to have another slurp of my rapidly chilling brew at the top of the show, at the top of this news article. There's a lot to go through here, and this is a little bit of a prism schism. I'm never going to get on board with people racially abusing someone on either other end of the phone. I think that's a bit strong. That person was just employed, uh, they're not.
Speaker 1:The enemy is nintendo of america. The enemy, maybe a little bit, and I'll here's why. Possibly now, large corporations, especially operate operating outside of their country of origin. You could argue Nintendo of America is a separate company, but you could also argue the important exportation lead for the American market and therefore could be classed as an importer or subsidiary of the main brand. Therefore not afforded what one would call full autonomy. Not afforded what one would have called full autonomy. They have a limit on headcount money, different bits and bobs, and it's all creative accounting and you can say George, that's the same thing, it's not. It comes with the gap of liability.
Speaker 1:So what are you talking about? I'm talking about these outside contracts and agencies. Center America can't take on a headcount, but they've got some money they can pump through this agency. What does the agency give them in return? Headcount? Ah, so they've got staff without needing to. Yes, now the Senate of America, I'd imagine, comes with some pension benefits, company perks, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Speaker 1:We can't, these aren't rolled out to your contractors. Ofada, yada, yada. These aren't rolled out to your contractors, of course, because they don't work for you. They work with you, representing your brand, and often are rolled into your company as full-time employees. You wouldn't know walking into Nintendo of America that that guy was an agency guy and that guy was full Nintendo. They know themselves from the heart of hearts and they carry it like a wounded eagle around the building. But it is what it is.
Speaker 1:Now that's all well and good. It's a natty way of either upskilling staff quickly or getting staff on board very quickly for limited money, and limited money that's not necessarily coming from certain parts of your balance sheet that you might not necessarily want that money coming from. You see, now that's all well and good when it ups skills and allows you to immediately roll out. They're very strong and nintendo always had a very strong customer support program, be it game help, be it console repairs. Yes, yes, yes, there's always going to be those horror stories during the joycon era, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it, but for the most part, the Nintendo seal of quality customer support has meant that. For the most part, I think it comes from a good place anyway, and they're famous for it. Now the world's changing. The world's changing. Ai is getting frightfully good, like, yeah, we've all seen the famous misses, but we've all seen the unbelievable nailed-on perfection that they're getting to at this point In terms of rudimentary internet searches, in terms of rudimentary help with a customer care issue, in terms of taking away that function now taking away the function from nintendo america in north america and moving it south to latin america many people would be like, oh, that's outrageous, what they're doing.
Speaker 1:Well, that's not. That's not. There's a big market down in Latin America, big market. I'm not saying that North America isn't big, but if you're a company, you want to maximize profit in every region and you don't care what their story is, it doesn't matter, they want video games. We're selling video games there. There's a large and emerging market in Latin America. That means that that office can also service North America as well. If you remove all emotion from this and sit in a boardroom in Japan, someone just put a swipe through an Excel spreadsheet box. That's literally it, and it's probably the money they needed to work out how to render the fur on Dr Kong's ear. That's how ridiculous these things are sometimes.
Speaker 1:Now do I think it's the right time? It might be the right time Do? I think it sends the right message. Now this is where I get a bit stuck with it. I think Nintendo, with that family feeling, the family controls, support, blah, blah, blah, they'll help you through it. We're here if you need us. Seal of approval, parental controls the support, blah, blah, blah, they'll help you through it. We're here if you need us. Seal of approval, parental controls, all encompassing bubble of warmth, love protection. I think the optics are great. I think that you probably want to be doubling up on in-country support every time you can. It just reduces friction. It just reduces friction.
Speaker 1:People are already, when they're ringing the customer support line, they're not ringing that to congratulate you on your product, probably ringing that, probably a parent ringing that stressed out to all hell because they don't know what they're looking at. Well, I'll say that Most parents are quite young. They've had a video game console. They look at this video game console. They can't for life and get it working. All right, they can't. So they're ringing you Now. They've probably done an element of self-service on Google. They've got a screaming kid wants their Fortnite. That's all they can think. Wants Fortnite, wants Fortnite. I just I need caffeine, I need food. Give the kid Fortnite, so they they again set a bit of judgment and ring the customer care line and do you know what A good experience here makes or breaks brands, makes or breaks brands, makes or breaks brands.
Speaker 1:So I've always been a big believer of in-country support in every region you operate in, so the people in that region operating that product can feel comforted and warm. That's not to say you can't feel comforted and warm anywhere else, but you always feel warm in your own home. You always feel comfortable and warm with your own mumsy's voice in your ear. That's probably what people are looking for when the console just set on fire. So, like I say, there's lots of metrics.
Speaker 1:It's across some things that probably we don't really want to get into on a video game podcast, some of that racial abuse stuff, syndicated of a wider problem that we have that's not for me, no way. Of a wider problem that we have this is not for me. There's no way we're doing that with this show. Engage with me individually if you want to do that, but even then you know what can we do. There's nothing we can do With fleas on a dog's back.
Speaker 1:Then you work that out. You think you've got any control. Yeah, you can bite the dog. What's the dog going to do? It's going to scratch you off. And I'll be honest with you, when the dog gets bit, it's got no idea what the flea looks like. And, to be honest with you, it doesn't care. We are fleas on a dog's back, all right. Sorry, if you think you're waving a placard, changing anything, you're not All right. You're just attracting attention to yourself, changing anything. You're not Right. You're just attracting attention to yourself.
Speaker 1:Next bit of news the Ninty fair play from a business metric Fair play. And just actually, before we move on, why didn't they roll us into it? Because they don't want to. They can't. It's not as simple as that. It's not a charity, is it a business? I'd love for them to be able to roll you in. I would. I've been the first person.
Speaker 1:You worked in agency for 15 years. You've worked alongside your brothers and sisters and 10 of america. You know them, you love them, you kiss them, you smell them and then one day you get turfed out because you're an agency guy and you pretty much got no recourse. And the agency? The thing with the agency staff is they're gone immediately because they're still employed by the agency. They're no longer required. They're persona non grata at Nintendo of America, you see. So they don't even have to serve notice in that premises, they just leave that day Because they're still employed by them. They say okay, we'll find you some more work with somebody else. Maybe they do, maybe they don't. Maybe you eventually let go from there yourself. You see, nintendo's always one step back from looking like the bad guy With something that's a support function of its core business. I think, george, you've done enough here. You're right, I absolutely have. I'm a journalist now darling.
Speaker 1:Another bit of news that I found quite interesting. Holy Trinity, as I say, owed Fraser Gilbert over at Pure Xbox, has been digging around with some internet price numbers. Microsoft announces new price increases for Xbox Series X and S in the US. What Well, let's find out. To finish off the week, microsoft has announced it's increasing the price of the Xbox Series X and Series S in the United States, since increases will apply to all versions of the two systems currently in the market. The standard Xbox Series S with disk drive will jump up to $649, while the original Xbox Series S with model 512GB internal drive will now be priced at $399. Microsoft says the reason behind the new price is due to the changing macroeconomic environment.
Speaker 1:Here's a short statement with Windows Central earlier today. We're navigating an incredibly dynamic environment right now. We've assessed the changing macroeconomic environment and addressed the applicable impacts. All the above changes will come into effect as of October 3rd and the company says the price of the consoles and markets will remain the same. Will come into effect as of October 3rd and the company says the price of the consoles and markets will remain the same. Finally, microsoft has acknowledged the challenging nature of the price increase in another short statement. We understand these changes are challenging and they were made with careful consideration. Looking ahead, we continue to focus on offering more ways to play more games across any screen, providing value for Xbox players.
Speaker 1:As you may recallbox previously raised the price with consoles, games and accessories across multiple regions back in may. There's been a significant cost increase of the series x and s over the past few months. Now, george, what are you going to say about this? Everyone's been putting the price of playstation, nintendo, xbox. Yeah, they have, and and this is not really an Xbox story for this reason it's just. This was the latest news story I saw that brought to my attention the ever fluctuating price.
Speaker 1:I do believe the PlayStation 5 in the UK has gone on sale for probably the second time ever since it launched. You've got to love it when the video game manufacturers have got you over a barrel. What a different world, because when you've got them over the barrel, everything is free. Come give it to me. When they've got you over a barrel, my god, don't, we know about it. I do believe it might be time for the market to flip in favour of the buyer, but it won't be long. Everything is cyclical, especially in this industry. So, george, why is this here? Well, it's here because either the market's completely outrageous or I don't quite understand what these businesses are doing now.
Speaker 1:Obviously, at the start of the year, you, you kind of hedge a certain amount of money and what you do is you say, okay, we're going to average out what we think the interest and exchange rate is going to be, we're going to do this, we're going to do that. There's a bit of tolerance here and we should be all good, because if we underscore it, you know, by the time we've washed out the exchange rates etc, we're still going be, even if we're on the absolute line, we're still going to be in a positive CM position. Contribution margin Great, perfect. Now, do I believe that these large video game companies don't do that? No, I don't. I absolutely 100% believe they hedge it and exchange rate and they hedge it when a crew, ie collect money within the the process of the building and selling of these consoles and video games etc and accessories to support that function.
Speaker 1:Now it has been a particularly volatile year. We see rare earth materials limited in the ability or the way for them to get to market. There's certainly tariffs being applied left, right and Chelsea, some for good reasons, some for bad reasons. We see countries still at war Ukraine, etc. And the large supply of certain rare earth materials and a free road for lots of things through Europe. And you know it is volatile. Markets are volatile, lots of things change. I guess if you're playing in a worldwide market, and especially in the US import products, it's a tough one For Microsoft to be doing this a little bit strange, but you know worldwide company these days.
Speaker 1:So I just I don't know. Do we expect companies, as said earlier, to lose money to provide us with our entertainment? Well, you know, we'd like to think that they would because they love us, but ultimately they're here to make money. They are corporate suits and daggers. Don't think that any one of these brands is your friend. Well, they are while you pay it and they are while they're making the games that you want them to make. But today's hero is tomorrow's zero and, as I say, this industry is cyclical. But gamers never forget. So you get done dirty might not come back, so just just you know. Bear that in mind. Now, this price increase.
Speaker 1:One thing that is disturbing to me that I do see happening with the video game companies and some of you know, just general companies is that the liability to absorb in-region issues, ie tariffs, exchange rate issues, complication of materials, etc. Everything is calculated to carry zero risk for the supplier, in this case Xbox. Oh, we have a bit of a tariff here and there. We could absorb half of it. No, no, no, no, we're not absorbing none of it. Put it all onto the end user. We need to maintain our profit margin so we can declare to the shareholders blah, blah, blah. To be honest, the cancer within the capitalist system. But it's the best system that we've got.
Speaker 1:It doesn't involve me putting on a furry hat and calling him comrade and driving a pretty garbage motor and queuing for food stamps. It's extreme, george. It's extreme, yeah, but he normally ends up that way, while there's a guy but he's a fat dude eating everything he wants, driving where he wants in a Rolls Royce. Yeah, that's fair for everybody, is it? Well, the leader needs a little bit of something extra Two wives, two Ferraris, and why can't you just have two like pieces of shit like me? Well, you know, gotta be a perp. Well, let me run it. No, you can't run it. In fact, if you're thinking of running it, you're dead. Wow, you know, that's the world we want, isn't it Unbelievable? People scream for that, unbelievable, anyway. Anyway, george, what are you doing? You said you weren't going to get political. He just launched into a stunning critical tirade of communism.
Speaker 1:I think, ultimately, I've probably got a little bit sidetracked. I am rambling. I've got no one to bounce off, apart from myself. The only inner voice I've got is one that basically tells me that I'm a piece of shit, I'm not trying hard me, that I'm a piece of shit, I'm not trying hard enough and I look a mess. And oh, as if you ain't got enough problems, mate, you've put weight on as well. Yeah, I know you're happy at the moment, but, yeah, that makes me internal voice absolutely miserable. If you're struggling with that, come and find me. We can support each other, but our own demons We've all got them. I know we are, but sometimes the voices speak louder than they do, and that's not the person you want to co-host on a podcast.
Speaker 1:To summarize, I do find some of the shenanigans a bit ridiculous. As I say, that's capitalism for you, but it does result in the consumer fully bearing the brunt of everything. Because, damn, maybe we could split it with this 50 50, because you want me to buy your product and you want to sell the products. Maybe we could split the tariff thing between each other. No, you're just going to load up and pay me. Well, we're also struggling to get, you know, rare earth materials, lithium, et cetera, out of the ground. So that's got harder. So you have to pay for that. You want the console, don't you? Well, I do want to play one of your video games and then buy your video games and you earn more money from those. These things used to be sold as lost leaders. That was a past pal, that was a pass pal. We don't sell them as losses anymore. Everything's for profit.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, it's going to take me a little bit of a time to get comfortable with your business mind because it's a lot, and that really swerves me into the last little comment on this. Did I or did I not say that PS6 and whatever the new Xbox is going to be is going to be down near the thick end of a grand? I did tell you that this is a signpost to you that says we are well over halfway to exactly what Georgie said they were going to do to us. In fact, that clown Prince just paid down there that money for a pro. What an idiot. And he's giving you advice on the net. No helping you. That's probably seen half the audience turn off. No, no, georgie, we love you. Mate. You are right in a roundabout sort of way. You take a long and rambly way to get your message home, but when it lands we're either asleep or we're like yeah, alright, mate, leave him alone, he's dead already. If only I could work memes in here, and this would be good. If not, you're going to have to work out what the impressions are.
Speaker 1:All that said and done, I'd love to know your opinion on price rises. Are they right to do that? Should we just pay regardless, or is there some? Is there some legs in a splittingness between us, the consumer and the seller? Because it does really feel in the consumer market right now as if you've got your arm at me back. If you dare to wander in in a depressed market right now, retail confidence is down. If you dare to bimble in, it's like putting your leg in a bear trap, isn't it dare to bimble in? It's like putting your leg in a bear trap, isn't it unbelievable? No one's in, no brick and mortar stores, everything's on the internet. No chance to influence a sale. They've got to rely on all of their advertising, all of their internet material to try and push you into making that decision on their side or the other side of the camp. It's not the usual thing businesses do, but we're living in strange times. So let's see where it takes us. Let's see where it takes us.
Speaker 1:Anyway, what's your opinion on those three news stories? Do you like spoilers? Yes or no? Do you want to watch a video game all the way through before you play it yourself? Each to their own? But what the hell? Save yourself 60 quid and just get yourself a YouTube premium subscription and you don't have to worry about the ads. Nintendo of America.
Speaker 1:Downsizing, downskilling, some would argue. I don't necessarily believe in that, because ChatGPT is pretty shit. Hard to be fair. Because ChatGPT is pretty shit. Hard to be fair, although, had me chasing an absolute fake angel, like just a non-thing in no Man's Sky. Are you sure Actually you're right? I'm not sure that's wrong. Oh, thanks ChatGPT, I just spend half my life chasing a bloody unicorn.
Speaker 1:And then, obviously, these price increases. Just use the Microsoft piece to highlight the fact that price has been fluctuating a lot lately and to just bring it to the news stories so we could have a conversation. It's not a beat microsoft moment. I do know it's a volatile market. I just wonder how they're? They're hedging, how they have hedged, whether they did a one first year and second year, or whether they did the full year and now that's why they're having to repatriate. Or maybe they just don't care about hedging and accruals and they've got a certain percentage of profit they need to make and they'll be damned that they're making it and you're paying for it. To be honest, if Uncle Bill stopped trying to buy mosquito nets and threw this money, maybe we could all have a free Xbox. Because, bill, for all the good you're doing, you're about as popular as syphilis. But if you give everybody a free Xbox now I don't quite know what the kid in the remote African village is going to do with an Xbox Series X.
Speaker 1:But by God, do you know what he's going to feel like a king for? But my God, do you know what he's going to feel like a king for a day Plus, do you know what? If you can get it plugged in, if you even can't get it on the TV, you can use it as a ping pong levitate machine. Yeah, we know, that's the killer app of the Series X. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. So why don't you bring your version of magic to the brilliant, absolutely brilliant. So why don't you bring your version of magic to the whole world? Some kid sat. What was that island just off India or Sri Lanka, or Ceylon, or whatever it's called these days, that island where all those sort of cannibals live?
Speaker 1:Bill could personally deliver the series X to them, couldn't he? He could do it, to be honest, if he stepped off a boat carrying a box, black with green accents, that caused the ping pong ball to levitate, one would imagine they've probably written about that in the holy scripture. That's what God looks like when technology becomes so advanced. Scripture that's what God looks like when technology becomes so advanced. It becomes indistinguishable from magic. I do believe we're at that point Bill Gates stepping off his yacht, carrying that, blowing that ball Unbelievable. They will bow down to him. They will bow down to him Quite rightly so. Got a couple of malaria nets in his back pocket, not doing a bad turn, really is he?
Speaker 1:If you've got an opinion on any of that news, get in touch. George, how do we get in touch? We've got social media in the places where people probably go Twitter, x, call it what you like, although that's a swamp, isn't it? Threads or whatever. It is blue sky well, that's dead. Alright, don't message me on there, it's absolutely dead. X is overlaid with just. I don't know. I feel like the guy in Clockwork Orange with my eyes are bloody, pulled open and threads is. I don't know. I feel like my guy in Clockwork Orange with my eyes are bloody, pulled open and Fred's is. I don't know. I feel like my corpse in the Postman Patty universe Absolutely dead. Instagram I don't know there's swears between dead and not dead If it wasn't for Justus Reed or whatever his name is.
Speaker 1:Welcome to my 5,000 euroyear-old house. I don't think I'd be on there. And look, you know you get your own things going on there, like I've always got these black-and-white Beatles clips coming at me. You've got to love the algorithm, haven't you? Aren't you into this? Well, yeah, I am, but I don't want to choke out on it. I think that's a far cry, little dog. Yeah, you love the Beatles. Well, you're making me not like them now? No, I don't. You're a sicko.
Speaker 1:Bonnie's an advert for something as well. Beatles inspired Me. You might want to buy. I don't want non-genuine socks. I do love them and you'll like them. Oh God, so overwhelming.
Speaker 1:You can't even express you have a liking for something, because the next 8 million photos you're going to see is that drivel. Run down your throat. You can't get away with anything either, can you? Well, I'm mildly interested in this. For the next 10 years. That's all you're going to see on your feed. Wife looks over, what the hell? Oh, uh, you know what feeds are like. Next picture same. Next picture, same. You know what feeds are like. Next picture same. Next picture, same. Oh god, no blins. I'm paying for a crime from six years ago, but you still like it, right? No, please leave me alone. It's funny.
Speaker 1:I just think the world's made out of everyone Beatles. But there's more to it, isn't there? Not on social media, baby. Not on social media, baby, not on social media. We're going to force feed you what we think you like until you're literally split Madness, absolute madness. It's literal greed personified, george. You're not a political comment show, you're a shit video game pop. Absolute madness. It's literal greed personified. Georgie. Not a political comment show, you're a shit video game pop. You know, don't speak of us like that. We're the very best, we're the number one, as I said the other day. However many countries 98, over 4,000 cities and locations across the world.
Speaker 1:We're doing okay, but oh, I can see the component parts that bolt this together. I can see me sat in my pants with a baseball cap on, looking like a little Buddha. No disrespect to Buddha and Fiji God, but I resemble your God only in physical form. Okay, I'm bald and I've got you know, I'm getting quite the distended belly on me, georgie, you've got a house. No, I know, but the demon in me says that I am six months with a child. Yeah, one of those ones. Anyway, get distracted.
Speaker 1:Once again, message in, let me know what you think about the news, instagram X, or messages at questions at unofficialcontrollerpodcastcom, or and I don't like to labour it because everyone's like oh well, you know, you big up the Discord. It makes me feel like I don't want to go there. Well, let me say then I won't mention it again, god's sake. It's not only that it's free, it's a place to hang out with your mates and find people to go on a run on hell divers or mario kart world with, or help you with a trophy or what. Oh, you know, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, look at this guy. He can't be trusted.
Speaker 1:Trying to give us something for free, absolutely, as is the show. Do you know what? Drag me out in the street and shoot me. What an absolute piece of garbage I must be. Oh, my god. Anyway. Alright, george, we get it. It's free, alright. No pressure though, mate. No, none at all, none at all. It's free. It'll always be free, as is Discord.
Speaker 1:If you want to get involved, make some friends, win some prizes. Even you don't give stuff away on there, do you? I do? I know what criminal prizes, fun, just all of the good stuff. Uh, get involved? Um, I want to. I'm gonna be able to thank you personally, and I also want to see you be able to sort of further your hobby, right, right, enjoy gaming with others. So it's a lonely world out there, and it's always nice to have a friendly ear to call on. There's nothing more than that, gamers. Okay, it's not a sales pitch, it's just a here's some free stuff that you might like to play with, courtesy of the generous of the UCP. Okay, now there are some people that have chosen to financially support us. You don't have to. You don't have to. In fact, if you do get on board, just pay the least amount, or whatever you want to pay, that you're comfortable with. If you want to just pay for a month to say hi, that's so cool as well, and you know, I've had the very lucky honor of meeting some of our listeners, and I'll be honest with you, I'm a clumsy mess.
Speaker 1:Do you know? I feel a bit embarrassed about it all. I thought oh, crikey, you're here to meet me. Why, though? Because Inner Demon says I'm a piece of shit. I'm a real piece of work.
Speaker 1:You know why would you listen to me on the internet? It's enough. You've been through enough pain, I think, is the algorithm that I push this through. You've already been through enough. You've been through hundreds and hundreds of hours listening to me prattle on.
Speaker 1:Why would you do this in person, like god, and you get to smell my breath? What if it smells foul? You know what if? What if I've got bo? What? What if I? What if I'm not the person I think I am? What if I let them down in some way? What if I can't be that person that I am on the internet for an hour, for two hours, or if I let myself down? Or you know it's tough, isn't it? And I'm not? You know, you're my, you're my, but I'd rather be humble and silent and just give you this. And I don't know.
Speaker 1:You know I could say I'll always try and turn up to the meetup if I can, but it feels a bit weird. I'm not into the. My ego's already dead. It doesn't need reviving in any way and definitely I don't need smoke blowing up my arse. But we do what we do and the show is here for you, should you need it. Like I say, it came from a bad place for me in the hope of taking me to a good place. I'll tell you where it's taken me, into every single one of your lives, and that's good enough for me.
Speaker 1:Most people quit a podcast after six weeks because they're not Joe Rogan. Yeah, here's a living definition of stupidity. But you know what? We found some friends along the way and we're going to keep pushing this dog until every single one of us is famous. I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about you, listener. We're going to drag this living, kicking, breathing, stinking, zombie-like podcast corpse and we're going to make it the biggest goddamn thing that's ever, ever been in shows.
Speaker 1:Oh, you, watchers, we're going places. Watchers, we're going places. Anyway, if you contribute, we love you. Like I say, you know, I'm very grateful that you do. If anything changes, personally or whatever, I don't want you to feel any guilt about dropping off. All right, I don't. Shit happens, guys. I know it does, and the last thing you need to be worried about is Hokey Pokey Podcast. So I am very grateful that you do what you do.
Speaker 1:I want that to be clear. It's not as though I'm like oh, we're laughing all the way to the bank. We're not, and I think you can probably work out that. We probably pumped nearly all of it back in Putting the show out, hosting the show because of Burbix. We've got quite a back catalogue now, but I'm done if we're getting rid of any of it, because the journey's there for someone, should they want it All the way back to episode one. But why do I want to know about five-year-old video games? George, I said we were smart. That's why we were smart, that's why we were clever. We've woven lore and story in there and plus, you know, the documentary section in the middle is forever.
Speaker 1:So if you're just joining, there's one hell of a lot of content. Three pound, well, for free, very generous. Anyway, if you do message in and support one of the perks amongst many things and even if you just do it and message it, even if you send the three pound and subscribe, a one off might be a bit steep because the t-shirt's not cheap. But if you do, if you subscribe at minimum three pound I've made my commitment to you you get a t-shirt, right, you don't get better than that. So that's in a Primark t-shirt and it's all for the price of it's $3 as well, and I'll be honest with you, dollars aren't doing that well. So if you're in any other country than America. You get a lot of bang for your buck. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Anyway, these people, they pay on a monthly basis and they get their name read out, but we do it in a strange way. So the first one is a one-man George fan club. His name's Carlos. He's an absolute beast of a man. He plays a didgeridoo. Yeah, I was going to take that to something about didgeridoo, but I'll be honest with you, I ran out of ammo midway through. But, carlos, one-man George fan club honest with you, I ran out of ammo midway through. But Carlos, my man, george Franklin, I love you Like a man should love the lingerie section of a Kay's catalogue that's stuffed in a bag for life under a tree root in a local wood. That's quite a lot, isn't it?
Speaker 1:Up next, a man that's going to make sure that if this was the 1920s, you would not lose any money in the stock market crash and you wouldn't make money because you would have invested in a tissue company for all the people that were crying to dry their tears with he's firm returns. You can find him on X. Dig through the swamp and you'll find him sat there like Yoda, just giving his teachings to you about money and financial shenanigans. Up next Trestles New York. George, isn't that a restaurant in Queens? Yeah, it is, we'd record an episode there. They do the finest wings in Queens. Some would argue, the whole state of New York. Sure, that's bold, that's big, it is Trestles New York. Go in, let them know, get a sticker somehow. Get a sticker or something from us and get it stuck in the window. It's the unofficial home of the UCP. I want to see a picture of some UCP graffiti Steady, removable, easily removable stickers. That's what we want.
Speaker 1:Up next is I said last week he was a man who helped you make space in your bed for a roast. Let's roast Space Monk. He's doing it again. He arrived at dinner time last week like a genie. He rubbed my belly and suddenly it wasn't distended anymore. It shrunk down and I was able to consume two rounds.
Speaker 1:Because you know you do. Well, you think I'll put a big effort in here. Put a big effort. You get to the family members. As a roaster, you go hard for the sitting.
Speaker 1:You think, yeah, I'll put a big effort in here, I'll make a big thing. Oh, look at me, I'm bigger than my belly. Kind of put the plate down. Yeah, yeah, you tear into it. I'm a quick eater. I don't know why. I guess I'm frightened like a hyena Sort of hear a noise and I'll leg it. So I've got to get as much of me as I can. I don't know what the reason is, but my whole family are cookies. God knows. I guess I had no choice, did I? Why are we here, george? Why are we doing this? Anyway, so you make a big effort and you get through it, but you get through it a bit too quick and the mom or the woman, the senior woman, the cooker at the meal normally a matriarch of some kind she looks over and says well, there's more.
Speaker 1:Now you're caught in a quandary between especially as an Englishman, you're caught between a quandary of politeness and physical discomfort. Now, what's an Englishman going to do when charged between politeness and physical discomfort? He's going to pick physical discomfort. So he's going to go for discomfort. So he's going to hopefully leap up, go back to the serving area or the table and he's going to load up again. No, no, you might as well finish the roasties. Does anyone else want them? They're looking like crying. They're sweating food. That's not how you take your children. Yeah, you join that, thank God for him. What idiots have raced him through that. And I was like, well, what about these leeks? All the white sauce, bit of extra horseradish Might as well finish these peas. What Yorkshire, you love Yorkshire, don't you? I like Yorkshire, I love them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, before you know it, you end up with the remaining sort of the remaining veg that wasn't good enough to be dished out in the first place. Some of these sort of secondary tier vegetables are actually more enjoyable than the premium tier. A bit more burnt, a bit more ragged, a little bit more individualistic, even. You know, not the uniform, not the cutler mill, these are the special, extraordinary things left at the bottom. You know the black pea, the sort of gray looking bit of carrot that no one wanted in the first place. You've had it all dumped on you like toxic sludge. You can enjoy it, you know you, literally. You also probably made the mistake of having to finish in your drink because you were thirsty, it was hot in the kitchen. You're like like, oh yeah, I'll drink that. So you've added even more bloat to your stomach. Yeah, that last beer. That's when Roast Based Monk appears.
Speaker 1:Btw, ballabinkster, a fine Italian gentleman, a fine Italian heritage. Now, I'm not the sort of podcast host that would refer to an Italian as an Aitai. I think it's racially inappropriate and I don't think it's acceptable. So let's all stand now in unison as we turn to the mighty Badabingster and say, in fact, we turn to you all, we say ciao tutti. We say, in fact, we turn to you all, we say ciao tutti. We say come stai, betto corrego, stami bene, tante belle cose. Everybody now sit down in unison. Italian national flag anthem. Everybody stand up, salute, sir. And we sit down. Sir, perfect, thank you, badabingster.
Speaker 1:Tingle Tuner, now am I feeling brave enough to do one of my sort of put the podcast speaker near your wife's head, play this. Put some earphones, tell you what. You listen to us late at night. I know you do Tingle Tuner tune and listen. Normally he likes to sneak off with his phone and his earbuds and find somewhere small and he gets into it. He kind of secretly builds a little a wall of spit and paper in front of him. There's a man on his own laughing at the ridiculousness of what he's saying and he bundles himself up and he makes this sort of screen out of paper and spit and he puts them in, puts his earphones in and that's how he listens. That's how he does it, and I love him for it, because it's individuals that make this show what it is.
Speaker 1:Up next, he's one of the sheriffs of the discord. It's two of them. Never forget that. Now his colleague is going brown, maybe DM's going pink. What a combination. No whole left unturned in pursuit of performance there. Digital Monkery, thank you for that. Bald Border, absolute Stallwart. Thank you very much for your generous offer. One would say, mike, we're going to get you a trip to Turkey. I can see you with the full Tom, og Tomquiff. And hair is a supplement of game and knowledge, which is why I know nothing and OG Tom knew everything. Up next, as I said, the second sheriff he's going brown, going brown. Up next, this week you've raised the Ponsonbury colours. It's Ginge, he's wearing the.
Speaker 1:This legend has acquired himself a UCP t-shirt, the Ponsonbury family coat of arms. It's available in the download section. You can. It's free. Okay, we can get it printed for you or you can take the image and print it yourself. I don't mind. If you want to wear the UCP merch, the least you can do is send a picture or give us a little bit of money. Nothing crazy. We'll get it done and sorted for you, delivered to your house, no stress, okay, finest quality. As I said, very limited chance of child labour involved. There's always some chance Small, very small chance, small and average chance. So thank you to that, ginge. No children are harmed in the production of your t-shirt unless you killed them yourself and the Lord of Darkness.
Speaker 1:He sits, malevolent, as always, in the throne and I see him in like a loose silk devil's costume. He's got like a hat he pulls up with the little felt ears. He looks very cute, a bit playful. He's got his tail over his arm. He's holding a kick-ass devil's fork and he sits on a throne, strong. He's got a strong pose. He's got an arm on each. His arms are on each arm and he's holding his fork thing. He's got his legs crossed and he's laid back. He's a gentleman and he knows how to position his tackle so he can cross his legs and not be compromised as well. He's laid back a little bit like a evangelism, just sort of laughing at the chaos of the world and the control he wreaks over it. Yeah, sexy devil. Look at him Next.
Speaker 1:Michelle, I am verbally restricted Restraining order. I can't get too close verbally. But I just want to say thank you, emma, for everything you've done. The world tour was incredible. One place you didn't get to anywhere near was Berlin. So thank you to Poor boy. I'll miss you someday.
Speaker 1:Up next, mumsy, the immortal one You're not really a podcast unless probably 80% of your family is supporting you. I'm not related to 80% of these people, but I'm told by her. I'm 100% related to her. Haven't done a paternity test, a DNA thing. I don't think I'd want to. Rgt I don't want to go there. Up next is RGT's fan club. I only need one man army, his whole team, people. He's co-opted. Some would say they're irregular migrants, which I think is the new term, and he has them working in his sweatshop. This is his own private enterprise. It's nothing to do with the UCP. Up next, a man who hates to see that sort of activity is Pete Brocklehurst. So I've got him on the chain ready to go. He'll rip our GT to shreds.
Speaker 1:If anyone's watching the alien TV show on Disney good God, that's's good I really like it. I really like the mood scenes, the flashes of sort of shots from within the universe that they've created and they kind of just sort of gestate on the screen and, oh, it's so good. It's got like a Rogue One feeling to it. It's got that kind of I don't know what it is about it. It's got some Disney bits in there, but for the most part this has been stellar. I'm sure the internet probably hates it. I think it's quite well done.
Speaker 1:Oh, next is Billy Marmite. Fair play to you. Some people hate you. I love you. You want to get that salty feeling on the back of your throat. You know you're doing well for yourself.
Speaker 1:Next, the man who invented the three wheel bike, the trike. It's Simon Pryke. Oh, and oh, no, no, oh and oh, no, no, let's go there. Okay, you're on a bike ride. You see Looks like something like the colour of human skin out of the corner of your eye. You pull the brakes on, you dive down into the ditch and you find yourself a discarded gentleman's catalogue.
Speaker 1:Well, this is most unexpected. Oh, crikey Images here. My blood feels like it's rising, boiling. What, oh, oh. I feel compelled to look further through the pages of the gentleman's. How's that kid? Wow, wow, wow, wow. All I can say is these people paid for that and I'm so, so sorry. But with all that said and done. Thank you to every single last one of you. Hopefully you enjoyed that On your own.
Speaker 1:It's not always easy to come up with the funny stuff, and that's what you paid for. So if I fundamentally failed, I wouldn't be surprised to see the whole pay subscription tier collapse just when we needed it to. But hey, you know, I just want to see some new names. You know, let's spring in the new family. That's all done. We couldn't do this without you.
Speaker 1:You know that, as I say, we try and pump everything back in that we get out, either in hosting the show or doing giveaways, prizes, supporting the people that put in and trying to give back as much as we can. Like I say the minute you join, you get a t-shirt for your choice. Whatever you want within reason, we've got one limited edition shirt that we did. That we can't, I refuse to just put into full circulation. So you know, you've got to protect. The things that people chased are rare and if you're collecting up this UCP merch, my good god, I actually do believe some of the early pieces are worth a bit of money. They are, they are.
Speaker 1:So now, with all that done, george, we arrive now at a position where you need to tell us what you're hoping to play. To be honest with you, all week I've thought about it, not been able to stop thinking about it. I can't not think about it now. It gets me like this sometimes and then it drops me harder than Leonardo DiCaprio on his girlfriend's XYZ birthday Insert age known on the internet of girlfriends that he leaves, etc. Etc. That Okay, but for now he's got his tendrils around me tight and they won't let go and I can't stop thinking about it. In the meantime, I'd like to maybe see if I can get some thinking about it.
Speaker 1:In the meantime, I'd like to maybe see if I can get some parental rights on the Switch 2. I would quite like to spend a little, maybe every other weekend with it, maybe a couple of nights in the week, get as close to 50-50 parenting as much as I can get on the Switch 2. I'm quite keen to try Star Wars Outlaws on there more than I did in the initial sort of play test, sort of tech appreciation play I gave it to be able to talk to you guys about it a few weeks ago. It's been really well done in handheld and 4K HDR implementation looks great in my humble opinion. I know I'm not John Lennon, but hey, my opinion counts because seemingly I can talk to you through the medium of the internet. So I would like to have a little go on that, a little bit of a play with the um. I can hear the UCP cap. Hopefully it's not saying I'm just seconds away from defecating all over the floor and please let me out. That's why I got a little bit distracted.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I want to play a little bit more Outlaws. Probably want to try and get a little bit into, maybe even get a save going. I don't want to do the cross play if no one's scarred on the switch, but maybe I should. I don't know, I'll see that for another day. Just want a separate, totally separate file running on there. Maybe I'll have a little go on that. I did have to get the switch one out. Who knows at this point.
Speaker 1:A little bit of MLB, I think, on the Vita. I don't know why, but I'm feeling cool with that. Do you know what? I know you're going to throw a load of hidden gems at me and I've got most stuff on the Vita I could care about. But if anyone knows of anything lurking in the Vita store, that is a banger that I may have missed after going through the store for 12 hours this week and listen. I'm up for PSP games, although some of the prices on there are frankly ridiculous. I'm up for PS1 game recommendations, although I think I've been through all those about a million times. Anything on Vita I might have missed I just within the store two or three quid dollars, whatever, nothing nuts. But, like I say, I tried a lot of I played. I've enjoyed a lot of Miami. I enjoyed that. Shakedown Hawaii, maybe it was called. That was great. Retro City Rampage I think it was a version of that. That was great. Retro City Rampage I think it was a version of that. That was great. Down Well was great. I'm open for all sorts on there. I don't just think it's got to be on a cart or whatever. I'm specifically asking for some store recommendations.
Speaker 1:I've been trying different things that I've got in my back catalogue PSN games that I've been given over the years. Well, I'm giving the Vita a bit of love. Let's try this and try that and try the other A lot of them. I was right to swerve them in the first place. They weren't for me. I'm not saying they're not for you, but they weren't for me. So, first place, they weren't for me. I'm not saying they're not for you, but they weren't for me. Um, so yeah, a little bit of beat and love. Which bizarre, considering I've got how many handheld, portable, remote, portable portal, remote playing devices, devices, devices, devices I want to need to see through my psp intrigue, don't? I got adapter. Let me try and see if it works. George mate, what are you doing? I don't know.
Speaker 1:One could argue that's probably the sort of moment where you call it on a podcast like this and I just want to say, I just want to say thank you once again. I know I do, but I mean it, I really mean it. Thank you. This show has got to the stage it's at in its life thanks to you. Your reason for me to get out of bed and record a show, either.
Speaker 1:Reason for me to look on like a proud father, as I see you all talking on the discord when the discord's busy I'm I might not be commenting in, but I'm beaming. To look on like a proud father as I see you all talking on the Discord when the Discord's busy. I might not be commenting, but I'm beaming from ear to ear because I just see people happy, fun, inspired, excited, ready to you know, keen and eager to talk with their friends about you know, what they've seen or done or whatever it is. There's no better feeling. So, you know, this week's shout out is if you're on the discord already, and this isn't if you're not, if you, if you're not, you do as you please. I'm not, it's not my sales metric to you, but if you are on there, nothing makes me happier than seeing it busting at the seams, going on, and even the Downton Abbey section's got words in it. You know, just go on and everything's white. Someone's been busy. What's going on? Oh yeah, they're into this, they're into that, and I just sit there quietly observing, like a pervert, one would imagine. I like to think like a um, like a friendly ghost, like Casper, except without the predatory sort of chase of Christina Ricci. Yeah, and that's all we have time for this week.
Speaker 1:Listeners, always thank you for your time. We look forward to the pleasure of speaking to you again next week. Until then, happy gaming and remember there's nothing wrong with being given the unofficial control. It's what you do that counts. One man podcasts should come and remember there's nothing wrong with being given the unofficial control. It's what you do that counts. One-man podcasts should come with a health warning. Bare minimum, thanks, guys. Outro Music.