The Top Five Frequently Asked Communication Questions: AI, Confidence, Cross-Culture Communication, Humour and Using Notes.
How will AI and ChatGPT impact communication? How can we regain our confidence when we feel we've lost it? How can we speak to people in cross-cultural settings? How can we inject humour into our communication, especially if we feel we are just not funny? And should we feel bad about using notes when giving a speech or a presentation?
Join Robin Kermode and Sian Hansen as they discuss The Top Five Frequently Asked Communication Questions in another fun episode of this podcast.
The Top Five Frequently Asked Communication Questions: AI, Confidence, Cross-Culture Communication, Humour and Using Notes.
How will AI and ChatGPT impact communication? How can we regain our confidence when we feel we've lost it? How can we speak to people in cross-cultural settings? How can we inject humour into our communication, especially if we feel we are just not funny? And should we feel bad about using notes when giving a speech or a presentation?
Join Robin Kermode and Sian Hansen as they discuss The Top Five Frequently Asked Communication Questions in another fun episode of this podcast.
Hello, it's Cian Hansen here and, as usual, I'm here with Robin Kermode. Hello, today we're going to be looking at frequently asked questions. These are the questions that clients regularly ask you, that's right.
Speaker 2:So the really big question is the really big question that we're being asked right now or you're being asked all the time is about artificial intelligence. It's on the front of every newspaper. How does artificial intelligence connect with communication? What are you hearing?
Speaker 1:Well, the big question is can chat GPT in these kind of apps? Can they be as creative as a human being? So they have lots of data, they do lots of stuff, but can it be as creative? That's the question we're asking ourselves.
Speaker 2:So at the moment, let's just get granular. When would you use artificial intelligence, let's say chat, GPT, in communication? What examples?
Speaker 1:Well, clients of mine have used it in PowerPoints. They've used it in presentations, in speeches, in email introductions.
Speaker 2:What it can do. A PowerPoint.
Speaker 1:It can do graphic design for you. It can do all sorts of things, but it can only recreate what someone else has done before, because it's using existing data, existing data, so the sense of humanity and quirkiness that a human creative puts in isn't there yet.
Speaker 2:So it's the imagination, that's the bit you've always talked about. It's using your imagination.
Speaker 1:It is, but we shouldn't be afraid of it because, just like any industrial revolution, when machines came along and suddenly a machine could cut the grass rather than doing it by hand the machine can't cut the grass on its own. It needs somebody to do it.
Speaker 1:And if you want to have the stripes going one way or the stripes in a particular angle, that's down to the person using the machine. And exactly the same thing here. I always say to my clients think of this like a first draft, and then, once you've got the first draft which takes a lot of time out of it, you can then add in the humanity.
Speaker 2:That makes a lot of sense. Actually, you could use it for what it's good at. First draft, it gets all the information in there, doesn't it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean you don't have to use it, but it is there if you want to use it.
Speaker 2:Would you use it for a best man speech or a wedding speech?
Speaker 1:Well the question is can it be funny If you say best man speech? Obviously people think, well, I should be funny because it's a best man speech. We've done a whole thing on weddings and another podcast. I wouldn't use it as a best man speech. It might feel a bit formulaic.
Speaker 2:I tried it once for a humor.
Speaker 1:It's not very funny, yeah, and the other thing of course we have to remember is it's not just the written word. So my social media guys put my voice into an online app. The machine learned my voice and then we typed in some words and said now speak and sound like Robin. And this is what it sounded like.
Speaker 2:I didn't know this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is not me speaking, but it's the machine trying to sound like Robin. Okay, here we go. Okay, tired of delivering client pitches that don't work, try these five methods to superpower your sales calls. Understand the client's needs and pain points and position yourself as the person.
Speaker 2:So what do you think? Oh, it's close. It's not perfect. I might be too used to your voice On a grainy telephone line. I might think it's you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and by the time, that was put through a machine and compressed and taken all the noise off. And also we have to think of AI and chat GPT essentially on like it's day one, six months down the line, a year down the line. What they'll be able to do is extraordinary, but will they ever be able to add in that extra humanity and the extra quirkiness that a human yeah, the imagination, I'm just not sure. I don't know. Well, we'll see.
Speaker 2:Now let's move on to another frequently asked question, this one about confidence. There's lots of times in our lives where we lose confidence, for whatever reason, and it must be a time when they come to you and they say you know they're going to go to an interview and they need that boost of confidence in order to get the interview. So have you seen that, and what do you advise them Of?
Speaker 1:course people lose their confidence in all sorts of stuff. I've lost my confidence at various points in my life. You often lose it when it's something you really want, but sometimes it's because external factors. Maybe you've been out of the job market for a while. You come back in, having had the children, for example. Or maybe you've lost your job. You've been six months out and you're coming back in again. Or maybe you're young. You didn't get the exam you wanted, but you still have to go for the job interview. So at various times in our lives and for various reasons, we will feel nervous and lose our confidence.
Speaker 2:And is there one thing that say all those groups of people can do to bring back the confidence? Is there something that they can all dig into?
Speaker 1:I think there's an authenticity thing. Really, it's about owning it. So, you can go in there and pretend that everything's fine. The trouble is, if you do that, you're probably going to overcompensate and try too hard. And if I look back on myself when I was younger, definitely I would have been trying too hard. I know if I could watch a little video of me at age 24 or something, I would be trying too hard. And that's talking too fast, and over justifying yourself and slightly overselling yourself.
Speaker 2:Oh, and not finishing the sentence, just going on and on and on, exactly, and actually just bringing it to an inclusion.
Speaker 1:So I would say we want to centre ourselves, and one of the simple things you can do is a breath thing. Actually. Now, obviously, with fight or flight, we tend to take little top-up breaths in the top chest, like little top-up breath there. Now, when we do that kind of high breath, it actually increases the feeling of fight or flight If we breathe into our belly. Put your hand below your belly button, okay let's do this.
Speaker 2:And you breathe in slowly there.
Speaker 1:It's a calmer feeling because it's lower. On top of that, what we want to do is to breathe out twice as long as we breathe in, because the out calming breath is much calmer than the breath in. Let's try it now. We'll breathe in, say, for three, and we'll breathe out for six. Okay, so imagine this. So we're going to breathe into the belly right. So we breathe in, okay, and out for six.
Speaker 2:Bit like a yoga breath.
Speaker 1:I'm still breathing. I don't know what you're doing, so we're going to breathe. It's like a yoga breath, it is we're breathing out there. That helps calm. The other thing I would do is some preparation. Just have a think about what are the values that you admire in other people, in yourselves, and if you're clear about the values that you're bringing. I think that's really helpful. Whenever I've hired anybody in my business, I always hire on attitude. You can teach skills, you can't teach attitude. So I would say, if you're going for a job interview, just be really clear about the values that you value.
Speaker 2:Now let's move on to another frequently asked question. I've noticed that you now coach people from all over the world, and so this is a genuine question for me to you Do you change what you do depending on the nationality and culture of the people that you're speaking to, or the person that you're speaking to?
Speaker 1:Do I change my communication style? Yes, interesting enough, I don't, and it is a question I get asked a lot by clients. Okay, especially if they're on road trips around the world, for example. My belief is this If we are authentic, really, really human, 100% human, and we're talking to another human being, of course, then it will always land. But it won't land if we're not being 100% human. So the question is how do we become 100% human? Now, what I will do. I'll be aware, of course, that if English is somebody's second language, I'll probably maybe use just a slightly more simple sentence construction. I'm not going to use references, they won't understand.
Speaker 2:Will you go slower?
Speaker 1:Probably a little bit slower, but not too much. I used to go very fast when I was young I tend to speak still quite fast and I tried to slow everything down so that I thought it was more helpful and it sounds incredibly condescending and I actually have all myself done.
Speaker 1:So what I do is I speak at my normal pace, even in cultures where English is their second language, but I put in lots of pauses. And I put the pauses there, which allows me to think what I'm going to say next, but allows them to catch up as well.
Speaker 2:And if they signal to you or you notice that they don't understand, will you repeat?
Speaker 1:I'd repeat it, maybe in a different way. I was in China recently giving a talk and I thought, should I tell the same stories that said jokes, is it gonna work? And I had an instant translator. This was really interesting in terms of style, so I would say my bit and the translator would say it and then, of course, then they'd have the reaction. There's no reaction to what I said, but no reaction, of course, from the translations, because they could understand that, yeah, they didn't have great English, the particular group I was talking to, so I was telling jokes. Now, how you tell a joke in a series of sections where you still want the? So I had to do. But I got really good with this translator. She was fantastic. So I would go dilly-dilly. She got dilly-dilly. Chinese, I go dilly-dilly, she got dilly-dilly. I get it Dilly-dilly, bang, bang, laugh. And when we got a laugh, together we did a high five together.
Speaker 2:Well, it seems to me anyway that what you just said was true. It's disrespectful if you slow down or mimic their accent or be condescending in any way. So you just say it in your language, in your tone, exactly the same way.
Speaker 1:But if you notice that they don't understand, you'll adjust slightly maybe just repeat it again so that they do understand, especially the work I'm doing. My work is about how we connect with our audience. Yeah, so if I'm being authentic in the way that I explain that as human beings, they will understand that on a human level.
Speaker 2:I think also body language comes in here, because if you're standing in front of somebody and it's a different culture, you've always said that 90% is body language. I mean, what you say is important, but you say how you hold yourself and your gestures also say yes.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't say it's 90%, but I think definitely it's hugely important. I think what is 100% important is what is your intention? If they feel that your intention is you're there to help them, your kind, your empathetic, you're not annoying, you're not arrogant, yeah, all those things. So your intention is essentially to help them. Yeah then they will always listen to you.
Speaker 2:Okay, and now the next frequently asked question, and one of the most interesting ones actually, is about humor. I hate to admit this, but I just don't think I'm funny. Listen, a lot of people don't have confidence when it comes to being funny. I know you are naturally funny, so if you're a person like me and you don't feel like you're naturally funny, what can you do to put humor, even gentle humor, into a speech or wedding speech or something?
Speaker 1:If you stand back from that first and just ask why it is that we don't like doing it. The thing is it's a binary conclusion. If you start to tell a joke, the audience know you're going for a joke. If you get to the end of it and you don't get a laugh, you either do or you don't. But if you're telling a story and you're not expecting a particular response at the end, it's not a win or lose.
Speaker 2:Oh, like a funny story. Yeah, so boom, boom joke, but a boom boom joke.
Speaker 1:You've got to be really confident to do a boom boom joke. And also in a business context, if you're presenting or pitching or something like that, you think, well, I want to have some funny stories in there. Do have funny stories, yeah, but don't have jokes.
Speaker 2:So don't go knock knock because it's out of context.
Speaker 1:Yeah, two frogs go into a bar and say do you serve crisps? I mean why? Why is that funny? Do frogs never go into a bar? So you know it's not real. To start with.
Speaker 2:Okay, so here I am. I've got a speech. I know it's a bit dull. It's about sales figures or quarterly results or something like that. What story could you put in?
Speaker 1:Ultimately, what we're trying to do is we're trying to connect with our audience, so that means we've got to try and find something in common with them. So if you tell a story that they can relate to immediately, it's going to stop it being boring because you're going to lift it off the page a bit. So if you said something like do you know? I was going through my presentation this morning and my three-year-old daughter came and said what are you doing? And I said, well, I'm going to give this speech later on. And they go what's a lot of boring figures, isn't it? What are the figures doing?
Speaker 1:Now, if you tell that story and you say, well, they're not actually boring because what these figures show is X, y and Z, now you could say that to an audience. You've got two wins there. You sound conversational when you're doing it. So it doesn't just look at this slide and this is what we're doing. You're saying this as if you're reporting it to somebody else. Yes, rather than saying here are the figures, click, here's another slide, click. And so, although it's not a joke, it's a kind of funny story because you can add something about your daughter coming in with a cornflakes. It just makes it slightly funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay. So what about and this is where a joke comes in is if you're giving a wedding speech. So let's say I'm the maid of honor for the bride and I'm going to give a speech. How do I make that funny Look? Do I even try?
Speaker 1:The most important thing on weddings and I have worked with so many people on their wedding speeches, both male and female. And the thing about wedding speeches is people think, yeah, but I have to be funny. First of all, it's the best audience you're ever going to have in your life ever, because everyone wants it to go well. Right, that's the first thing, okay. And secondly and second and secondly, go for a smile, not a belly laugh, okay. So tell a story that just goes oh, that's nice, and you have a nice smile Now. That's much more likely to have a better response than if you say here's a laugh. Oh, I didn't get a laugh, I mean.
Speaker 1:I remember being a young actor on stage. If you're doing a comedy on a wet Friday night and you don't get a laugh, it's quite embarrassing. So you stand there and you don't get a laugh. The other actor looks at you and says, well, you're not doing very well, and you catch your eyes and you think, well, I'll try the next night. Nothing from the audience. What do you do when you're young? You go loud and fast oh yes, because you think it's the best thing to do and actually you look manic. So if you said it like you said at the beginning, if you don't feel totally confident telling a joke, don't tell a joke. Tell an amusing story the way you're hoping to get a smile at the end of it, and then you can't lose.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's just perfect. So I feel much better now. Okay, the most frequently asked question must be do I use notes when I give a speech?
Speaker 1:But it's certainly in the top 10.
Speaker 2:Okay, so let's just dig in, let's just do this. What's the answer? Do I use notes?
Speaker 1:It depends on how your brain works, so some people will write the whole thing out. Some people will have speakers notes on PowerPoint, some will have bullet points. Some will have no notes at all. Some will have a note that they have in their jacket pocket or their back pocket that they may use if they need it.
Speaker 2:Okay, actually, what I really want to know is do I have to feel bad if I haven't memorized it? No, not at all.
Speaker 1:I quite like it when somebody stands in front of an audience with their notes and say good evening, a few things I'd like to talk about this evening and I think they've prepared. I'd much rather that than somebody standing there waffling Right. I think the next level up from that is having no notes, but that's fine. It depends on the situation, doesn't it? How professional you want to look or not. There is a danger. We did this in the wedding podcast A guy I was working with who had his best man's speech on his phone because it was candlelit evening dinner and halfway through, of course, the phone died because he had to charge the battery and then he was completely stuffed because he was relying on the note.
Speaker 2:So don't do that.
Speaker 1:Well, tell you what I did once. I was giving it a talk. I tend to have a card in my pocket and it has some bullet points on it. I don't think I ever used it, apart from one time when I was telling a story and it got such a big laugh I thought, well, I'll tell another funny story. So I got another huge laugh and pride came before a fall and in my head I went I'm really funny. And then I had no idea where I was completely through myself. So I have two options. Now I had to say to the audience I'm so sorry, I can't remember where I am. Where was I? But then this occasion I said do you know what I said? I was sitting in my hotel room this morning and there was something I really wanted to tell you and I took out my notes, as if I'd always planned to take it out. In fact, in my head I'd go I have no idea where I am.
Speaker 2:So I mean you can use notes to help you if you want to. You've given me a tip when I give a speech is to color code it, and then I hardly have to look down because I feel so confident that if I've lost my way I just go to red or I go to blue, Exactly so the two benefits of that.
Speaker 1:One is you can find your place much more easily. If it's all in black, you can use your place. One simple thing you can do with notes actually is you can just draw a red line across the middle of the page and immediately you know if you're a centimeter above or two centimeters below. So that can help. Colors are good because they also actually help in your mind where you are, and if you put a color for a section, it's also helpful. So maybe a warm section you put in blue and a more challenging section you put in red, and it would maybe affect the way you read it as well, can I ask a very particular thing?
Speaker 2:What if you need reading glasses?
Speaker 1:I know this is a really tricky one, isn't it? Because a lot of people say to me, yeah, but if I wear my reading glasses I just look old. So they have this thing about I don't want to look old and I said, well, yes, but you could call it wisdom. There are lots of different ways of looking at it. I would say, for me, my eyesight's not as good as it was when I was younger. It's not bad, I just have a bigger font.
Speaker 2:I just have a bigger font.
Speaker 1:So I've got the mind of an actor so I could learn how as a dialogue if I had to, because that's what actors do. My memory is not an issue for me, but for many people it's how much do I write down and how much do I not write down? That's the big dilemma, and I would say the simple things to put in sections. So when you're constructing a speech, do certain sections like that and you might be able to do certain sections without notes. And on our storytelling podcast, the reason we said tell stories is that you know the story. You don't have to write it down.
Speaker 1:It's a whole section and you don't have to read it Whole section. You don't have to have notes, so you can help yourself out.
Speaker 2:So, wow, five of your most frequently asked questions. Thank you so much, robin, that was great fun.
Speaker 1:And we'll see you next time.