The Art of Communication

Introduce Yourself in Any Situation

• Robin Kermode and Sian Hansen • Season 1 • Episode 35

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Introduce Yourself in Any Situation.
How can we best introduce ourselves in any situation, confidently and calmly?  How can we come across as being impressive without being arrogant? Should we give our job title? Or underplay our success and be a little humble? We do it every day, but there are many factors to keep in mind when introducing ourselves.

Join Robin Kermode and Sian Hansen as they discuss some interesting ways to introduce ourselves in another fun episode of this podcast. 


SPEAKER_00:

Hello and welcome to the Art of Communication Podcast with me, Robin Kermode. Have you ever wished you could become a confident speaker or presenter? Then why not join my online masterclass? Speak so your audience will listen. In 10 easy to follow modules, you can become a confident and authentic speaker. For more information, visit RobinKermode.com.

SPEAKER_03:

Hello, it's Siane Hansen again, welcoming you to another podcast, and I'm here with Robin Kermode. Hello. Today we're talking about introducing yourself. Introducing yourself in any situation. Robin, I mean a lot of people know you now, but when's the last time you had to introduce yourself?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I suppose I've introduced myself several times today already. We probably all have. The question really is how we introduce ourselves and the different circumstances in which we do that. If I'm running a group, for example, they don't know who I am. I come along and there's maybe ten people for the day, and I have to set the tone for the day. So I think what's interesting about this podcast really is when you introduce yourself, you are setting the tone for that conversation, for that day, for that meeting.

SPEAKER_03:

And there's many different times that we introduce ourselves. Of course, we do it at work, right? We do it at work all the time. But there's informal introductions.

SPEAKER_00:

And maybe that we should widen this as well, not just vocal introductions, maybe it's how you word yourself online in terms of branding or introduce yourself by email. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, why don't we just dive in and just assume it's a work situation? And that moment where somebody drags you onto the floor and introduces you to the team, but inevitably they don't. Inevitably, what they do is they say, We'd like to welcome Sianne today. Introduce yourself, and then you have to do it. So what advice have you got for people if they have to introduce themselves at work?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, how do you want to come across? You want to come across as confident without being arrogant, essentially. It's a really fine line, isn't it, between giving ourselves enough backstory so people think we have some credibility without bigging ourselves up and pride comes before a fall. So it is tricky. But I would say it's about keeping our voice centered and keeping ourselves calm. But also if it is on day one, think about in advance how you might introduce yourself. Because you probably will have to at some point. So have a think about it.

SPEAKER_03:

Is there a structure you can use?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, you could go back to the ancient Greeks. And the ancient Greeks had a rhetorical triangle, they call it, which is logos, ethos, and pathos. And I'm sure many listeners will have come across this. Logos appeals to the audience's reason and building up logical arguments, logos, logical arguments. Ethos is about the speaker's credibility, your history, I suppose. Right. And then pathos appeals to the emotions. So that's when people are empathetic, pathos. So if you're going for a job interview, uh you could follow the same pattern. So logos, the logical, what you do, well, I'm a logistics manager. Ethos, the credibility, and I've been doing it for twenty years. And pathos, the emotions, but I love what I do. So essentially, I'm a logistics manager, I've been doing it for twenty years, and I love what I do. Logos, ethos, and pathos. We just make the rhetorical triangle.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. Yeah, absolutely perfect. That's really helpful actually. I think for me, uh, one of the most important things is my name, because people normally get confused by my first name. And I think it's really important to say my name is and then go slow.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't know what you think about that.

SPEAKER_00:

I've got an odd surname, Kermo. You've got a name. You normally mispronounce it. So do I.

SPEAKER_03:

Because of you. But that is a thing, isn't it? You have to go slow because if they don't catch a name right at the beginning, that can be a problem.

SPEAKER_00:

People are playing a catch-up. Yeah. So with your name Siane, written as you know, like Shan, so it's written like the Welsh Shan, but actually it's pronounced Sian. And then you have a very good way of explaining it. So how do you explain your name, for example?

SPEAKER_03:

No, yeah, yeah, I always help people, and I say if there's a lady across the room called Anne, and you see her, you see Anne.

SPEAKER_00:

That is a good way, because it helps them remember who you are. So I often say I'm Robin, like Robin Hood or Batman and Robin.

SPEAKER_03:

Actually, Robin, is that part of your introduction to make yourself memorable? Well, a little bit.

SPEAKER_00:

Not look at me, but I think if you can make it easy for people to remember you, then that's got to be good. The most scary one I've ever done in this situation where you have to introduce yourself was when in my former life as an actor and I was doing The Iron Lady, which is the Merrill Street film. So Meryl Street was playing Margaret Thatcher. She actually got an Oscar. I didn't, sadly, but something went wrong. But anyway, Meryl Street got the Oscar. But I remember being in a circle, and I was sitting next to Meryl Streep as it happened in the and there was about 150 people in this room on day one. It was all the cast, which is a big cast, together with all the lighting, the sound, the producers, the writers, everything. And so everyone had to introduce it. You had to say what your name was and what your role was in the production. And it came down the line. And of course, you know, when it's coming next to you, think it's coming next to you. I'm going to look so foolish if I can't remember my name. Yeah. So of course it came to Meryl Streep and she said, Well, I'm Merrill and I'm playing Margaret Thatcher. We said, Well, yes, we know who you are, that's fine. And then people are looking at me going, Well, who the hell are you? Do you mean? And then you I said, Well, I'm I'm Robin and I'm playing John Major. And it just didn't quite sound the same as Meryl Streep saying, I'm Meryl playing Margaret Thatcher. But what I didn't want to do is to suddenly stutter or mumble because then I don't look confident. Yeah. But I don't want to look arrogant either.

SPEAKER_03:

And if you go to one of these corporate breakfasts or lunches, what happens is inevitably, whoever's chairing the dinner, it's semi-formal and structured, isn't it? It's structured. So they inevitably say, why don't we start this evening off by each person going round the table, introducing themselves?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

And you've got literally 30 seconds, but you're so right, Robin. Judging where you go with your introduction is so important. Because, well, this just happened to me, sitting next to somebody who's like a knockout fund manager, like off the scale, really good at what she does. And she just very simply said, founder X Capital. That's all she said. Yes. But she's like a rock star in that world. And then I go, Well, you know.

SPEAKER_00:

I've done 16 jobs and I've done a lot of things. Yeah, no, you can't. You can't.

SPEAKER_03:

You just have to say your name and say, you know, I muddle through or something.

SPEAKER_00:

I think saying the world you're in with me, I'd say, well, I was an actor for many years and now I'm a coach and I have the best job in the world.

SPEAKER_01:

Do you say that?

SPEAKER_00:

I do. Partly because I genuinely do think I have the best job in the world, because I meet new people every day and life is great. So I'm I'm very lucky in that way. But also, I think what people want to feel when they introduce you is that you like what you do. So there's a positive energy, not Polly Anna, but there's a positive energy around what you do. During the banking crisis, there were lots of my clients who introduced themselves and they would say, Well, I'm a banker, but it's not all my fault. Yeah. We should be able to say ultimately, I think, Siane, I'm the Pope, I'm a refuge collector, I'm a teacher, I'm a lawyer, I work in a factory, whatever it is. There's no judgment, no self-judgment about what our status is. There was one guy I met, I think I might have told this years ago, I said, Hello, you know, what sort of world are you in? He said, Uh, well, I work in this industry and um I'm every manager. I mean, I should really have been on the board by now, but I'm not on the board, but I have made every manager, so I think I've done quite well.

SPEAKER_01:

And I thought, well, that's on his shoulder.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, it's quite a messy introduction, isn't it? Because ultimately we want somebody who's comfortable in their own skin, because then we feel comfortable around them. But this man was not comfortable and therefore I felt he had to explain it. We don't want to go down that route.

SPEAKER_03:

I tell you what you don't want to do though, and this happened to me, where I was okay. It's a crass question to say, What do you do? You have a better what do you you say What's your world? What's your world? That's a much better way. What's your world? And then they could say I've got children if they want to.

SPEAKER_00:

They don't have to go down the work route either.

SPEAKER_03:

No, exactly. I said something like what do you do? And he lied and just said, like, I'm a pizza delivery guy or something like that.

SPEAKER_00:

To be funny or?

SPEAKER_03:

Uh no, just uh like I should have known him.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, that's a bit rude.

SPEAKER_03:

I know. Well, I thought it was a bit rude. Anyway, I thought, oh, that really put me back in my box.

SPEAKER_00:

But it says more about the person than you, of course, always.

SPEAKER_03:

But if somebody's just being super genuine and in a work situation trying to make conversation and say, How do you fit into the firm or how do you come to this event? Just be kind, don't roll your eyes and say, Well, you should know me.

SPEAKER_00:

But the worst thing to do is don't you know who I am? Oh, don't. Never say don't you know who I'm gonna do. Never never. I was with an actor once who was quite well known, and say this person was called John Smith, right? I won't say the name. He made the fatal mistake of going through the security at Teheathra Airport. This is in the early days of scanning the bags. He said, This is outrageous, and don't you know who I am? And I thought, oh my, you don't say that to the security people. And they were brilliant because they said, Sir, even if you were John Smith, I'd have to go through your bag, which is such a fantastic.

SPEAKER_03:

Brilliant, never, never say that. And so just before we move on to looking at other things like how you introduce yourself on printed ads or email or whatever, there is something that I think is charming that some people do, is they say, I'm so and so, and I've been hired for this role. Uh, this is a great opportunity, thank you, introducing myself. And then you say, and I'd love to get started on the right foot. So please don't hesitate to reach out and set up a meeting with me. I really like that. I really think you have to say there's an open door policy.

SPEAKER_00:

There's an open door policy, yeah. Yeah, I agree. I think it really is.

SPEAKER_03:

I think the people who introduce themselves and then shut the conversation are probably actually shy.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, we did meet somebody once, and we won't mention any names, but they handed us a business card, and the business card was their name.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, and nothing else.

SPEAKER_00:

Nothing else. It was just their name. It was just well, it was cool in one sense.

SPEAKER_03:

No, it was so cool.

SPEAKER_00:

Do you think that was cool? Oh, it was so cool. They're almost implying you'll find me somewhere on the No, no, but that's it.

SPEAKER_03:

You will find them. Like you'll find them on LinkedIn or you'll find them somewhere. There'll be a way to find their website.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

I just thought it was cool because nobody hands out business cards anymore. Oh, I know that's a thing. With certain cultures, it's very much with the It's very much a thing, but um, I'm just saying, recently nobody hands me a business card anymore. It might be me.

SPEAKER_00:

I have the electronic one now that zaps your phone. So I just zap it onto somebody's phone and up comes a picture in the box.

SPEAKER_03:

I assume, Robin, you get permission before you zap their phone. And saying, here, have my contacts.

SPEAKER_00:

And in fact, no, but this is a really good, interesting point. I never ever offer my business card. I wait for people to come to me. So if somebody says, May I have your card, of course, here's my details. But I never say, Can I give you my details? Because I always think that looks a bit desperate.

SPEAKER_03:

I think it does a bit, but in networking, don't we say collect some cards?

SPEAKER_00:

We've talked about this on the networking podcast. Networking events is not the time to sell yourself, although everybody thinks it is. Networking event is about creating an opportunity for another conversation, another time.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

And so therefore, all you're doing is you're creating a spark for them hopefully to come back to you to say, Oh, can I have your details?

SPEAKER_03:

You're absolutely right.

SPEAKER_00:

Because you don't want someone to say no.

SPEAKER_03:

No, exactly.

SPEAKER_00:

No. Can I have your card? No.

SPEAKER_03:

No. There's that famous line, isn't there, Notting Hill, where some strange weirdo says to the Julia Roberts character, Do you fancy a date? And she puts her head on one side and she goes, Thanks. But no. Beautiful line, isn't it? So let's move on to how you introduce yourself in the written word. If you've got like um, I don't know, a profile on LinkedIn, or you're a sole trader and you're selling yourself, what's most engaging?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh in my brand, my training company, we have two words that describe what we do. Everything we do has to be clear and it has to be kind. So that's our own personal branding. We don't tell anyone that, but well, I have done now on the podcast, but whenever we do anything, we go, is this clear? Yeah. And is it kind?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

And I think those are two very good words to have when you're designing your profile on LinkedIn, for example. So are you clear about what you do? Or I'm a medic. Well, that's quite wide.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, what is it you do? And then some sense of humanity and humility about you. One of the reasons we thought we might do this podcast is that we had to find a plumber and we had to find a chimney sweep recently. Yes, we had to find a chimney sweep. We found fantastic. I mean, they're just brilliant. The best plumber, the best chimney sweep, just fantastic.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

But why did we choose those two? If you look online, hundreds of chimney sweeps, probably, or maybe not as many as they used to be, but lots of plumbers. Why did we choose those two? Because of how they came across. They were very clear in what their offering was, but they looked like they were kind.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

They looked like they were friendly, they looked like they'd be positive. I mean, we even just left a key and said, let yourself in and let yourself out again. That was really based on my gut instinct that I trusted them. Trusted them. Yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

So I think clear and what language did they use to make you trust them? What was the language?

SPEAKER_00:

They were using words like friendly, reliable, long-term, repeat business. I think he even said, I come from a family of chimney sweeps.

unknown:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

A long line of chimney sweeps.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, and then, oh sorry, you showed me the bit that he was for hire for weddings.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, you can hire him for weddings as a lucky sweep.

SPEAKER_03:

As a lucky sweep. Is that a thing? Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Chimney sweep brings luck. Oh, that's a good one. It's like having a horseshoe or something like that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, no, that's really charming.

SPEAKER_00:

But he's such a nice man. We're very lucky to have found them.

SPEAKER_03:

So, um, so nice people come into your life if you've read their ad really well. So if it's all shouty at you, you know, buy now, get to the house. No, I'd run a mile.

SPEAKER_00:

Or if they said things like, uh, the first tower is charged at this, and every five minutes after that is charged at this rate. I'm thinking, you're in this for the money. The sense I got from the plumber and the chimney sweep was that they liked their job, which I think is important, a bit like saying I have the best job in the world. I got the feeling they liked their job, they took their job seriously, they cared about their clients, and they weren't going to pull one over on you. All that I sensed from this being clear and being kind.

SPEAKER_03:

No, that's fantastic. Any any difference for an email? I mean, you have to grab them in the subject line. This is assuming they don't know you.

SPEAKER_00:

Cold emails are always hard.

SPEAKER_03:

They're so hard now. Because you think you're being duped.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. I only write to people if I have a contact. So I would say, such and such suggested I would contact you, or I've been kindly put in touch with you by the way.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, Shireen said that she would introduce us or something like that.

SPEAKER_00:

Then it's not out of the blue. But for me just to email somebody saying you might like my services, that understandably and say, Well, we don't know who you are. Yeah. You know, and then they will go and check you out, which is why how you describe yourself on your website or on LinkedIn and social media does matter.

SPEAKER_03:

It's really important. I would say if you are in a situation where you're going to send a fairly cold email, could you just be clear about why you're contacting that person? Like right up front. Don't say, I've been told that you might need our services. I don't even know what your services are.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. Or who you are.

SPEAKER_03:

Or who you are. And the same thing on the telephone. If you're cold calling somebody, just immediately introduce yourself. Don't say, Hi, can I call you Sianne? You know.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm Jane from this company. This is what we're offering. I thought you might be interested in this. I thought you might be interested. And then you think, oh, yes, I am, or I know I'm not. But otherwise, we say, I don't know who you are and I don't know what you do.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, you're suspicious. You're suspicious. And listen, you know, sometimes you know you're in an airport situation and there's a big queue or something like that. There's a very persistent stranger who asks you lots of questions in the queue ahead of you. You're very friendly with them.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm generally very friendly with people. Yeah. Unless I think they're trying to get too close or it's odd in some way. Yeah. Because the thing is I find in queues on aeroplanes or trains, if I'm next to somebody, I generally say, Oh, hello, how's your day going? is my favorite opening line. Because then I get a sense of do they want to talk or do they not want to talk. And then people say, Oh, yes, but if you do that, Robin, you get stuck with people on a long flight or something. And I said, I don't actually, because you chatter away and then you say, Look, very nice to meet you. I need to do some work now. And you open your laptop. Or, I, you know, I really want to watch this movie, and you turn the movie on. And so you don't have to get stuck with anyone, but I think you can be friendly. It's when someone asks you too many personal questions when you don't know them at all. Yeah. I think it should always be sharing. So somebody asks you a question and you reply, you then ask them a question. So you learn a little bit about each other as you go forward. Right. Otherwise, you feel a little bit like somebody's a journalist.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And they go, So when did you start feeling this? And where do you live? And he's like, I don't know who you are. But you build up rapport.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I find people tell me all sorts of things. On park benches, even, you know.

SPEAKER_03:

So I have a just my own mini rule. And it's that if a stranger is asking me questions like, where do you come from? Where do you live? you know, that kind of thing. And I don't know them at all. I'm polite and vague.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm polite and vague to start with. Because I just don't know why. I think that's probably just my personality, but polite and vague is what I do. So I don't have to say I live and give the city name. I can just say I live in the UK. Can't I?

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. How long are you in Canada for? You can say, you know, we're here on holiday. Sing some friends, keep it quite loose.

SPEAKER_03:

Keep it loose. So moving to the informal, and you're at a drinks party or a dinner or something like that. You're all there for a reason, but you may not know each other. You're introduced to somebody by the hostess, let's say, and you're standing there looking at each other. How do you introduce yourself? What do you do?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, in that situation, you're trying to find something in common.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

So you say, I work in this area and I'm a friend of such and such. I I think you might know them.

SPEAKER_03:

Don't formally introduce yourself like you would at work.

SPEAKER_00:

Definitely not job titles. No. You wouldn't at a drinks party say, Well, hello, I'm the CEO of such and such. No, no. Because you wouldn't. You'd say, Well, you know, if you were the CEO of Coca-Cola, you'd probably say, Well, you know, I self-visit drinks. I mean, you'd probably, as you say, roll low.

SPEAKER_03:

Go low, yeah. Go low, yes. Yeah, go low.

SPEAKER_00:

But also, why would you have to big yourself up? I find that the people who are the most successful are the ones who really don't have to. In the UK, we have a wonderful TV presenter and naturalist, David Assenborough, and he's now 96, he's a national treasure, everybody loves him. If you asked him what do you do, he'd probably say, Well, I I share some information about wonderful things.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And he wouldn't have to go, well, I've been a broadcaster for 70 years and I'm the most famous person on television. Because you don't have to do that.

SPEAKER_03:

So why is it in an informal situation, genuinely in an informal situation, do we not want to share as much as we would in a work situation?

SPEAKER_00:

Aaron Ross Powell Well, because it's not a work situation. So what we want to share in those situations is our views on life, our family, our hobbies, our sports, and so more a more rounded human being.

SPEAKER_03:

Aaron Powell I suppose what I'm doing is I'm digging at this new idea. It's not new, sorry, it's been around for a little while, that work and home shouldn't be different. You know, you should behave the same way you do.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, you can behave the same, but I don't think you want the same amount of information. If I was meeting somebody in their office as a client, they might tell me their role and their title, even to give you some credibility. Because obviously it's nice to know if you're talking to somebody very senior and that you feel very flattered if somebody senior has come to meet you. But you wouldn't do the same thing at home at a barbecue. You wouldn't have to pig yourself up.

SPEAKER_03:

It's a bit of a pity, isn't it? It's a bit of a pity that we have two ways of introducing ourselves. It would be nice if at work you could introduce yourself the same way you would at an informal.

SPEAKER_00:

I do, but then I don't have a job title because I employ myself. So I don't I don't have a job title. I just tell people what I do if they ask. Yeah. But I generally just say, like I said earlier, I'm Robin, you know, they said, you know, what do you just say? I have the best job in the world. If they're interested, they'll ask a supplementary question. Or they may go the other route, actually, and say, No, I think I have the best job. Yeah. And you go, great, what do you do then? And you can have that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and I've been in situations, informal situations, where I just have to move away because the person never asks you anything about yourself. You don't have a chance to introduce yourself or find a shared interest because they're just on broadcast. We've done this in the networking thing. My glass is empty. It's nice to meet you. I'm off.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_03:

But there's another thing that you and I have noticed in all our travels, is we've noticed that different cultures will give you less information or more information about themselves.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

So we find that like traveling in America, people tend to tell you almost immediately what they do, what their politics are actually.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, very much that, I think, yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Um but in Canada, I think it's pretty much a social faux pas to mention your work until you really get to know somebody.

SPEAKER_00:

I've been going to Canada with you for nearly twenty years, and nobody has ever asked me what I do.

SPEAKER_03:

Never.

SPEAKER_00:

Whereas in the UK, it would be a much earlier question.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, definitely. Definitely. So if anybody out there who's listening to this podcast can tell us what happens in other cultures, Germany and France or Asia or India, then do let us know. Do let us know.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. But I do think there wants to be some element of spark that you like what you do in terms of the way you say it. Absolutely. So even if you're going to say your title, then just a sense of I just love what I do.

SPEAKER_03:

So what about if you're retired? What if you've had a big day job and then you're retired? How do you answer that question now? Do you say I'm retired and I used to be?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, I used to be very important and now I'm not sure. Yeah, now I'm not retired. But what do you say? I think you go, I'm having a great life. So again, it's one of those enigmatic answers.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Met this very nice man the other day. We were introducing ourselves and he said, Well, I'm retired now, and now I do everything that my wife does. Which I thought was great. Robin, you know, as ever, these discussions could go on forever because we're constantly introducing ourselves. Or hopefully people are. Hopefully, you're always meeting new people all the time, because that brings a lot of zest to life, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. And I think the most important thing for me, really, about introducing yourself is thinking beyond the words you're using, what is the tone I'm trying to set? I have a chance here to set the tone for this meeting, this conversation, uh, or this speech. So think about the tone.

SPEAKER_03:

Again, I encourage our listeners, if anybody has any comments on this, please just go to robinkurmo.com and send a message through the website, and we'll definitely get it.

SPEAKER_00:

We will, and we look forward to hearing from you.

SPEAKER_03:

Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_00:

Have you ever wished you could become a confident speaker or presenter? Then why not join my online masterclass? Speak so your audience will listen. In ten easy to follow modules, you can become a confident and authentic speaker. For more information, visit robinkermode.com.