Loi Dunk

Puppet Parents & Highway Donkeys - Weird News

• Barbara & Teja Arboleda • Episode 79

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It's a Loi Dunk Weird News edition! Today, Barbara and Teja bring us two animal headlines that teeter between “aww” and “what now?” First: the Bronx Zoo is raising a baby vulture using a disturbingly lifelike hand puppet. Then it’s off to Texas, where police gently escorted a loose donkey off a busy highway like it was late for brunch.

From bird puppetry to hooved fugitives, we’ve got the internet’s weirdest news—served with commentary, curiosity, and the occasional side-eye.

🔗 Read the full stories:
• Vulture chick + puppet drama: https://apnews.com/article/nyc-bronx-zoo-vulture-chick-puppet-feeding-c804354bfc99348903365c2e0888dcd6
• Donkey on the run: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2025/05/19/Live-Oak-Police-Department-donkey-lake-highway/5001747675077/

Find us on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok: @loidunk

#weirdnews #todayilearned #animalnews #funnynews #vultures #donkeys

SPEAKER_01:

Hello and welcome to the first episode of Weird News.

SPEAKER_00:

Weird news, news, news, news, news, news.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

How weird can things get, Barbara?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, we're gonna we're about to find out. I mean, maybe not too weird. I don't know. I don't think mine is that weird. Mine is more funny than weird. What is yours?

SPEAKER_00:

Mine is uh the story about um in New York City, as the zoo, New York Zoo, uh feeding a baby vulture with a hand puppet.

unknown:

Woo!

SPEAKER_01:

Let's go! What a hand puppet. Like Ernie, you know, is coming out or I'm going to feed you, baby bird.

SPEAKER_00:

But instead of the frog, it looks like a vulture. Okay, I'm not sure if that's exactly what a vulture sounds like, but I think right now, probably, hold on one second. There are some vultures right now. Oh no, that's the um the people trying to sell us solar collectors.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. Anyway, so adding in New York City, they they uh there's a zoo in New York, okay, where they're they feed the baby vultures with hand puppets that look like why do they have so many baby bulby vultures?

SPEAKER_00:

That wasn't really what I was getting into. Oh, okay. That's a good question. Yes, as to why, um, well, you know, when the birds and the bees, although in this case it's when two vultures love each other, when a male and a female love each other, and um, you know, there's some berry berry white playing in the background, you know, things get kind of like, hey, you want a cuddle? And then next thing you know, there's a bunch of baby vultures.

SPEAKER_01:

That's how so where do the hand puppets come in? Is this like a fetish thing?

SPEAKER_00:

Or is it not okay? See, this is why it's weird. All right, no, no, okay.

SPEAKER_01:

So tell me the story. What tell me about the vultures and the hand puppet?

SPEAKER_00:

So I'm gonna just read because this is really interesting. This is a few. Okay, where is it from? It's from Associated Press, believe me.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00:

So in New York, Associated Press, AP, a baby vulture at a New York zoo is being fed not by another bird, but by a hand puppet.

SPEAKER_01:

A baby vulture.

SPEAKER_00:

So this isn't like flocks of baby vultures. Did I say that there was a flock of baby puppets?

SPEAKER_01:

No, but it it created a picture. Like that in your head of baby vultures.

SPEAKER_00:

Did I even say that? Why am I talking to no one?

SPEAKER_01:

I you keep it. We do not have a.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm hoping for some kind of allyship.

SPEAKER_01:

We okay. I'm ready. Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

So then this here's the reason why. Just just listen. Okay, I'm for once, just listen.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm ready. I'm ready.

SPEAKER_00:

King vultures. Okay, king vultures can it was a crown. King vultures can neglect their chicks. Figures it's a guy, right? Uh no, wait, they're called king vultures, so it could be the female. They can neglect their chick. I'm just reading.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

So hand feeding is necessary to ensure the baby survives. The Bronx said in a statement on Tuesday, this is a while ago, like a year ago, but to make sure it doesn't imprint on humans, okay, which staff included, because the staff are humans as opposed to vultures. Although if you have a bad boss, I can imagine that the boss might be. Right?

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And you wouldn't want to feed your boss with a puppet. Although that'd be very interesting if we'd really subtle things. Anyway, um, talk about it. Anyway, so um, but uh uh the staff train the bird's instincts onto a hand puppet that's crafted to look like a real vulture.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

And um so they're just feeding the the baby chicks, so right, essentially whether an arm clad in a black in black and a puppet that looks like a vulture, a vulture's face and beak in their hand, which is used to grab morsels of food and deliver to them to the chick's mouth.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Okay. What is the adaptive value of having a bird that doesn't take care of its own young? Um seriously. I mean, if it's so bad that the species is going to die out without human intervention.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, let's take a look at the human version of a vulture. If you're working for a boss who's a vulture, the adaptive value is to negate your association with the vulture and fly away. But you can't fly away because you're still a chick. So you need to be fed and nurtured like a great employee that you are.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

I just imposed some kind of interesting metaphor there, didn't I?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that was deep. That was much, much deeper than I thought weird news would get.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I I don't know what the what would the adaptive value be?

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know. Um like why would they do that?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, well, it says right here. Oh, the zoo says it helped develop the feeding technique more than it four decades ago when the workers means that they've been using these puppets for a while. Do they even wash them?

SPEAKER_01:

Anyway, yeah, I hope so.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, they used it to raise three Andean condor chicks.

SPEAKER_01:

I think it's kind of so wait, the condors are also like letting their chicks just kind of die on the side of a mountain?

SPEAKER_00:

Kind of the sexist thing to say to call them chicks, you know. I mean, get with the program, right? It's 2025.

SPEAKER_01:

Um but that was four years ago.

SPEAKER_00:

It's true, it was four years ago. 40, 40. They said 40, right? Right?

SPEAKER_01:

Is that what you said? 40 years ago. 40, 40 years ago. Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Hand puppet rearing has also been used to help bring back the critically endangered California condor. So it's not just vultures, condors.

SPEAKER_01:

What is it with big birds, man?

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know. Big birds. Big bird.

SPEAKER_01:

We can't say that though.

SPEAKER_00:

What? No, a big bird.

SPEAKER_01:

A big bird is a big bird.

SPEAKER_00:

A big bird.

SPEAKER_01:

Lowercase b.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

B.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Big birds.

SPEAKER_00:

Big birds, big birds.

SPEAKER_01:

Don't take care of their young. Wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

That's not good.

SPEAKER_01:

They didn't call it weird news, though. They called it odd news.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, yeah, okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

This is a donkey escapes after Texas Lake Rescue leads heads to the highway. Donkey escapes.

SPEAKER_00:

Escapes.

SPEAKER_01:

We got some great pictures. So authorities in Texas said a donkey was rescued from a lake. Okay. But then managed to escape from animal control officers and make its way to the highway. What was it doing in the lake? They don't say. I mean, just like it's a hot day, you gotta cool down, you know, you're just kicking back. You got a margarita. It's like on one of those rubber flow things, yeah. With its feet sipping on a margarita. Little hoofs in the air. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

That's great.

SPEAKER_01:

So all right, so then apparently it was first spotted running loose. This was only in May, um, near Narrow Pass and Toperwain. And then the officer engaged the animal in a well, actually, that's engaged the animal in, quote, a surprisingly fast hoof pursuit. So are they implying that the officers also had hoofs?

SPEAKER_00:

Or are they on donkeys?

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know. I mean, I know the donkey probably had hoofs, but hooves.

SPEAKER_00:

Hooves. Hooves. Hooves.

SPEAKER_01:

But then the donkey lost its pursuers. Oh no. You know why?

SPEAKER_00:

Because one of the officers probably got a Charlie horse.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh. Well, well, the the officers said that the animal was more quotes, impressively stealthy for an animal wearing no shoes.

SPEAKER_00:

I just had this image of the donkey in like these high the stiletto heels.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm hanging on the lake. I'm gonna run away.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so then, oh well, and then that's because you know you take your stilettos off when you run.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, there's a video.

SPEAKER_01:

So and then he was seen running loose on the San Antonio Highway.

unknown:

Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_00:

You go from the lake to the highway.

SPEAKER_01:

And so That's a great day out. We actually don't know if they ever found the donkey.

SPEAKER_00:

No wonder the traffic is so bad.

SPEAKER_01:

So yeah, but they've got they've got this, they've got video that you can cut in here. That oh wow. Okay. Whoa.

SPEAKER_00:

Wow. It's getting on a bus.

SPEAKER_01:

It looked like it looked like this.

SPEAKER_00:

It's getting on a bus.

SPEAKER_01:

It's pulling out its wallet.

SPEAKER_00:

It's got a pass.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, yeah, that's better. It's maybe hanging around its neck. I wasn't born yesterday. Yeah, but I I don't know. It's also like it's not wearing any clothes. It's naked, so like I don't know if it would let you on the bus.

SPEAKER_00:

It's not wearing any clothes, and it took its shoes off. So at one point it had no clothes, no shoes, but shoes.

SPEAKER_01:

No shirt, no shoes, no bus. It's like a porn donkey. We go from a field of vultures being fed by puppets to porn donkey. I don't understand. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. Come on. It's okay. We all need a little fun. That's why we're here.

SPEAKER_00:

I guess the question would be: how do you lure a donkey? You use a puppet? Like a vulture puppet.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. So you get two officers in a in a donkey costume, and one is in the front and one is in the back, and then you put the big eyelashes on it. You put the big eyelashes and then start trotting down the street together. You take your clothes off because well, and then it the donkey might get interested, and you bat the eyelashes.

SPEAKER_00:

And then it's eaten by vultures.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh!

SPEAKER_00:

That's how this is.

SPEAKER_01:

How big are those king vultures?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, I don't know. Let's see.

SPEAKER_01:

Now you've got to tell me how big a king vulture is.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh let's see. How big are king vultures? King vultures are, ooh, 25 average height of 20, uh, 2.5 feet. We're not wearing my glasses here. 25 feet. What are we talking about? Jurassic vultures here? Hello.

SPEAKER_01:

It's like give a give a running. It's like Godzilla versus King Vulture. King Vulture.

SPEAKER_00:

It's like a huge puppet. Um and a wingspan of four to six feet.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's like the condors.

SPEAKER_00:

They typically weigh between six and ten pounds.

SPEAKER_01:

That's it?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, birds don't shouldn't weigh much because they have to fly.

SPEAKER_01:

Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_00:

Unless you're an ostrich.

SPEAKER_01:

10 feet and it weighs six pounds? It's two feet tall, two and a half feet tall.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Ten feet wide.

SPEAKER_00:

It can't be that heavy. It won't be able to fly.

SPEAKER_01:

And it's six pounds.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, half of it is probably what it means to be.

SPEAKER_01:

It's made out of styrofoam?

SPEAKER_00:

It's like foam crack.

SPEAKER_01:

As it's flying, it's like no, because you can't do that, because that would imply metal, squeaking metal, and metal is too sick.

SPEAKER_00:

When you take seraphim and you rub it together, oh yeah, the little squeaky sound. And then it breaks, it goes. Oh, that's why they need the puppets to feed them because the king.

SPEAKER_01:

Then they fell on the Yeah. Oh, right on the donkey.

SPEAKER_00:

Right there.

SPEAKER_01:

If the vultures would just sit on the donkey to get places, you know, then they wouldn't need to worry about their styrofoam wings. Problem solved.

SPEAKER_00:

Problem solved. Wow. Well.

SPEAKER_01:

That was effortful.

SPEAKER_00:

That was. May all the donkeys be with you.

SPEAKER_01:

May the vultures be with you, too.