Well Lit & Well Monitored

Three weeks after moving to Oklahoma, the Holy Spirit spoke four simple words to Margaret: "You are safe."

What began as a journal entry became an invitation to rethink what true safety really means—not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and relationally.

In this episode, Margaret shares her ongoing journey of repatterning her life for peace, slowing down, releasing control and perfectionism, caring for her body, and creating space to abide deeply in God.

If you've been living in survival mode, carrying too much, or wondering what it looks like to cultivate a life that supports your well-being, this conversation is for you.

Because your safety matters to God.

For inquiries, please email:  girllivelovebe@gmail.com
 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Hey y'all, welcome to Girl Live Love Bee. It's me, Margaret Smith Williams, and y'all know I'm just on this journey to live like Jesus, love like Jesus, and be right in my heart, mind, body, and soul. That's all I want. So the first few episodes from this season started out with me coming back from like a 16-month hiatus. I started with a few episodes discussing the path that my family, or the path of my family's transition to Tulsa, Oklahoma. Then we changed it up a bit so that I could share with you and honor the loss of one of my favorite people in the world, my Uncle Stanley. Then the past two episodes, we've spoken a little bit about of just being obedient to God and trying to figure out where God is calling us in this season. And today, I felt like the Lord wanted me to go back to the transition to Tulsa, but specifically talk about a journal entry from April of 2025. Oh yes, I found the journal. I think in the last episode or the one before that, I told y'all I couldn't find my journal where I documented like the first six months in Tulsa. Well, yes, I found it. Thank you, Lord. So I'm gonna read specifically out of that journal. The entry date is April 23rd, 2025, and this is about three weeks after we moved to Tulsa. The timestamp is 8:03 p.m. It reads This evening after work, I sat on the patio. Cool breeze, sounds of the pool and the wind, Celine Dion radio playing in the background. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Push pause. Did I tell y'all that I love me some Celine Dion? Like Celine Dion is that girl. Like, I need to win the lottery so I can fly me and my girls to Paris so we can see Celine Dion live this year. Cause when she burst out with that, I'm y'all lady. And you are my man. Or when she be singing, uh, what's the other song that she be singing? Oh, you were my strength when I was weak. You were my voice when I couldn't speak. And she says, I'm everything I am because you love me. Y'all like that run at the end. But wait, I'm wait, wait, wait. Did y'all, because I was singing because you love me, it made me think about my parents. So my parents, my mama was like a one Juanita Bynum fan, and I don't know if fan is the right word, but she liked Juanita Bynum. And my daddy loved the Williams Brothers. So did y'all know that Juanita Bynum and the Williams Brothers covered Celine Dion's song Because You Love Me, like back in 1996. I was like 12 when that came out. And when I say my parents played that CD over and over again and again, like over and over again, over and over again. Don't ask me why I felt the need to tell y'all that. But we were talking about Celine Dion, and that just made me think about that. But anyway, I love me some Celine Dion. Back to the journal entry. It reads, Just me and myself, just me, myself, and I. I don't know the last time that I just sat outside on a patio or porch. I love this for me. The peace, the serenity, the slow, the soft life. Thank you, Lord. It continues. I began to reflect on something that happened the other morning. I was driving to Whole Foods and the Holy Spirit said to me, You are safe. And I thought to myself, like, what does that mean? Was I not safe before? Okay, push pause on the entry again. So y'all know I'm a nerd and words are important to me. The meaning of words are important to me. So I went straight to look up what the word safe meant and I wrote it in the same journal entry. So I wrote that safe meant, number one, free from harm, risk, or danger, two, something that is reliable, trustworthy, and three, to be calm, secure, or free from emotional distress. Then, you know, I'm gonna look up the opposite. So I looked up the definition of unsafe, and that means significant risk or serious harm, significant damage, not given protection from danger, harm, or loss, likely to take risk, not careful, unhealthy. I highlighted and underlined the word unhealthy, and I also put it in caps. The journal entry continues. I found it ironic that the Holy Spirit said to me, You are safe. He did not say my family is safe, he said you. It was as if he was making it personal. Not that my family wasn't safe. I mean, everything I did and everything that I do is for the safety of my family, for their preservation, for their good. Every sacrifice, every decision, everything is for my family. So their safety is and was a priority. I completely considered them in all things, guarded them, protected them. But often I risked my safety, my health, my emotional, my mental and physical well being for theirs and for others, and I believe that the Lord wanted to assure me that my safety is just as important, that my safety was a priority to him, and that with him in this place, in this new place, in this physical point and time in my life, that I'm safe, that I needed to focus on taking care of me, my mind, my body, and my soul. The entry contained additional definitions of safety. I didn't write in my journal where I got these from, but I did get it somewhere off the world wide web. So I have here that safety or to be safe means a place where there are minimal risks of harm and danger, to be well lit and well monitored. I highlighted that and I bolded that part. It also means trust, stability, one who feels protection from emotional harm and distress. It means feeling secure, has healthy relationships, a sense of peace, calm, and control over one's thoughts, feelings, free from overwhelming fear or anxiety, confidence in one's abilities, trusting others, understanding one's limits. This is good. To know my strengths and my weaknesses, making choices that aligns with one's ability and resources. The Holy Spirit was telling me that I had arrived to the point in my life where I needed to make the conscious and deliberate and firm decision to create an environment where I felt protected, secure, free from harm emotionally and mentally. He was telling me that I needed to take proactive steps to minimize risk and to cultivate this lifestyle that would support my well-being. He was telling me, like Marguerite, you're not 25 anymore, you're not even 35 anymore. And I believe at the time of the entry, I was like 40, and the Holy Spirit was like urging me to learn new patterns of behavior that could support my safety in this new area of my life. The previous patterns of behavior were not going to be sufficient in this new environment. And since I've been on this journey of like daily repatterning my body for safety, for my heart and for my spirit to be in a continual space of safety and trust in God. And so you're like, okay, Margaret, like I hear what you're saying that you know you were sitting on the on the patio and the Holy Spirit talked to you about safety. But what is it that you're doing, or what does that look like for you to create this environment of safety? And so for me, um, some of the things I've been doing are like this. The first thing is abiding in God. I have to recognize that safety comes in my ability to abide and find myself anchored in Jesus. I can't tell you what you need for safety, but for me, I know that is a necessity for me. I've been reading intensively about Psalms 91 over the past couple of months and just the safety that is found in being in communion and in relationship with God. And this is where my true refuge is found. God is the center of all of my safety. My ultimate trust has to be in him. Like my complete security has to be in him. People come and go, jobs come and go, bank accounts change, but God is the only person that will remain. I just lost my uncle a couple months ago, and I never thought that I would see the day that he would not be a consistent part of my life. And it was just a reminder of the fragility of life. And I have to know that God is the only consistent thing. He is here yesterday, today, and forevermore. And that God's love is what I can count on. And for me to create this life of safety, I have to know that I have to abide in Jesus. I have to protect my relationship with him. I have to consider him in all things. I have to invite him into all things. And I have to be able to recognize when my security and my gaze is shifting from Jesus to the things of this world. Another thing that I've been trying to cultivate as it relates to creating this safety for me is slow mornings and slow movements. So most of my life has been rush, like the hustle and bustle of work, of ministry, of parenting, of home life, and all the things. And I realized that I was creating this rush thing, even for my kids. Like we rush into the store, we're rushing in and out of the store, we're rushing in the car, like hurry, put your clothes on, all these things. And rushing does something to your body and to your nervous system. And I don't think we realize it until we slow down, even how we get out of the bed. So now I make an attempt to like take my time to get out of the bed every morning. And I think it also helps me specifically because I don't have to be to work until a little bit later in the morning, and my kids are teenagers, and usually my husband's the first one person up. So if they need to do something in the morning, he's gonna take care of that. But I have to take a moment to lay there before allowing the responsibilities of the day to consume me. So now I'm not rushing out of bed to put my clothes on and do the things. I make this intention to just kind of lay there for just a second, even if it's a minute, and firmly place my feet on the ground so that I can remember that okay, the morning just started, the day just started. Like take a moment, take a deep breath before the day comes and it consumes you. Just sit in it. I've also, um you guys know that I love iced coffee or specifically Naamans or like matcha. And so, like when I go to a coffee shop and I sit there to do my journal or write or to do some work, like really taking the time to take it in, like to take a slow sip of it and to pay attention to some to my surroundings, just really being intentional about slowing down with things. Another thing that I'm really trying to work on is less control. Now that y'all pray for me because this is a daily work, moment by moment work. Because this type A personality girl, I need to be knowing all the details, all the things to move on a schedule. I need to know what manner is gonna happen, how it's gonna happen, who's involved, um, how fast they're gonna work. You know, it's it's crazy to be honest. Like, it's too much pressure. And so I've been like, Lord, help me to relinquish control from all the things. I don't have to be a part of all the things, I don't have to be involved, I don't have to be invited, I don't have to be on the committee, I don't have to oversee micromanage. I don't need any of that. Been there, done that, and it's toxic sometimes, and it's too much weight, and it's too heavy sometimes for my body, my mind, and my spirit. And I've just been like, Lord, help me to just not want to control everything, not want to know everything, not want to know the outcome, not want to know the steps. Just help me to sit back, to breathe, and the song says let them cook, just let you cook. Another thing I'm doing is daily moments of relaxation. So I'm one of those people where relaxing is hard. I'm getting better at it, but I've been trying to be more intentional about that. Like I used to feel like productivity equaled my worth. I don't feel like that no more. I don't I don't have nothing to prove. I'm not trying to produce. I am loved by God, I'm chosen by God. He sees me, he knows me. I don't gotta produce nothing to prove my my value and my work. I'm not talking about now you don't go to work and do your work because you don't need to produce nothing. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying in general. So I just been trying to just relax more. Like I don't have to do everything. Let me just lay in my bed, let me read a book, let me watch the great British baking show or chopped for the umpteenth time. Let me just relax my nerves. Another thing is the deep breaths. One of the things that I love about Pilates is that it's taught me the importance of breath work, it's that pause that we often need. Like it recenters your thoughts, it commands your attention, and it just gives you a moment to kind of breathe. So through your day, girl, just take a deep breath. Take a deep breath. Another thing that I've been doing is loving me and learning me. Girls, like I literally have this note in my phone of all things, Margaret. Like the things I love, the things I don't, what I dream about, what I want. It could be as simple as like my favorite matcha drink at a coffee shop, or it could be favorite meals at a certain restaurant, my favorite movie quotes, like a dream car, my hairstyles, my wish list. Like it's just all the things, me. And the reason why I do that is because I've spent so much of my life and even my professional career paying attention to what people need and the things that they like and the details and how things work. And I'm just naturally wired that way. But I've spent a lot of time doing that with my kids or with my husband or with life in general, even with the people that I love and care about. And I deserve to put that same attention and detail into myself. And as women, I think we know so much about our jobs, our spouses, our kids, our families, our friends, but I think we owe it to ourselves to know just as much about ourselves. This is not making me conceited, it is not making me vain, it's making me know more about myself. Like being more intentional about the things that I like, the things I don't like. It's being more intentional about me. I gotta be more intentional about me. Another thing that I'm doing is sharing more of my heart. Like, this may sound weird because I have a whole podcast on the World Wide Web and this internet, like anybody can click on it and listen to you a little bit about my life. But sharing more of my heart and my feelings is a really big deal because I'm a naturally private person, and I'm also not very sentimental. I don't share much about my emotions or my feelings, and I've always thought that there was no time for that. Like, ain't no time to be crying. You cry for two minutes, girl, put your big girl panties on, figure it out, and keep moving. But I've realized through therapy and through the past year of really slowing down my life and spending some time with God and some doing some deep internal work that I owe it to myself to acknowledge my feelings, to be able to feel them, and to even share them if needed. Holding things in has taken a severe toll on my mind. It has taken a severe toll on my body and my heart. It is not good for me, and to be honest, it's really not good for you either. I'm also striving to laugh more, smile more, enjoy my life more. I spent a lot of life just going through the motions, like just doing the things that I needed to do. And now I want to be more intentional about those things. Like I want to be intentional about enjoying and living because we really only get one life. One of the things that my Uncle Stanley taught me is just the ability to enjoy life, or always reminded me to be happy, and so I want to be more intentional about that. Also, there is therapy and exercise. So I have a weekly therapy appointment. Weekly. I also used to do Pilates weekly, sometimes twice a week, but I've switched up some things due to changes. Um, but for now I'm just like trying to incorporate walking on the walking pad because not only do you have to take care of your mind, but you also got to take care of your body. Another thing about your body is girls, we gotta do routine checkups with doctors. Like, that's something that I'm doing to create a safe space in my body. Everything is not spiritual. Like sometimes you just really need to go to the doctor, go to the GYN, go to the primary car, care doctor, go to the specialist. Like, I believe that God can use science and medicine to care and heal our bodies. And if we don't pay attention to the signs that our bodies are giving us, if we're not paying attention to our health, if we're not in tune to those things, if we don't take the time out to go visit a doctor or go check on something, we're really risking the safety of our bodies even more. And the last thing that I'm really trying to do is avoid perfectionism. That's like up there with the control thing that is a everyday, everyday moment-by-moment thing, Jesus. Um, I'm trying to avoid highly unrealistic standards for myself. Trying to avoid severe self-criticism, and I'm also trying to avoid like this this fear of failure. And um, and there's a balance because you I want to strive for excellence, I want to do things right, but I don't want it to do it at the expense of it causing burnout and extreme stress on my body. I don't want that. They can have that. I don't want other parts of that. So I know I've done a lot of talking, and I just want to leave you with some things. I'm gonna leave you with some questions more so. What are you doing about your safety, like your emotional safety, your mental safety? What are you doing relationally, professionally, and spiritually to take care of yourself, to protect yourself? What conscious and deliberate and firm decisions do you need to make to create this environment where you feel protected, secure, where you feel free from harm emotionally, spiritually, and mentally? Like what proactive steps do you need to take to cultivate a lifestyle that supports your well-being? Your safety, your physical safety, your emotional safety, your mental safety. All of this is important to God. You are important to God. Take care of yourself, my friend. Take care of yourself. So this week, I'm gonna give you some homework. Three things I want you to think about. You might have to push pause, you might have to come back, you might have to write it down. Just think about it. Or the first thing I want you to do is make a list of all the things about you, like in your phone or in a journal. Just think about you. Think about your joys. Start with the things that make you smile. What brings you joy or who brings you joy? Think about your desires. Like, what do you want to do this week? If you can't think five years from now, what do you want to do this week? So for me this week, I want to get my hair done. So that's something I want to do. Um what else? Think about your your dislikes, the things that you don't like. Think about your dreams. We don't spend a lot of time talking about our dreams anymore. I noticed that. But I want you to think about your dreams this week. What are some things that you want to do? No matter how big or how crazy or no matter how small it may be. Write down your dreams. Take a moment this week to consider those things. Number two, I want you to think about how you can begin to like re-pattern your body for safety and calmness. Some things to think about when you're trying to re-pattern your body is what does your time with God look like? How are you protecting your mind, your heart space? How are you caring for your body? What are your limits? Like, do you know when to stop? If you don't know, ask somebody who is close to you. Like, I know that there are several people in my life who will be like, Margaret, you be doing too much. You don't know when to stop. You gotta stop here. The other question I want you to ask yourself are what choices are you making to align with your abilities and your resources? What choices are you making to align with your abilities and your resources? In other words, are you stretching beyond your limits? And I'm not talking about like God giving you instructing instructions to step out on faith or to do something. I'm talking about the things that we be doing on our own. What choices are you making that are not aligning with your abil abilities and resources? So the first thing was I want you to make a list of all the things for you. The second thing I want you to do is think about how you can begin to repattern your body for safety and calmness. And the third thing that I want is this. One of the definitions of safety or to be safe was well lit and well monitored. I thought that was an ironic usage of words. To be safe is to be well lit and well monitored. So I want you to think about where are the well lit, when you think of something that's well lit, like when you go in a room, it's really bright, where are the well-lit or well-monitored places in your life? The safe places where light shines. Where are you most comfortable? Where do you feel safe? Where are you? Or where do you feel like you're like what makes you feel like you're not always looking over your shoulder or holding your breath? Where are the places that you can just be? Think about that. Let's pray, girls. God, I just want to thank you that you are a comprehensive God. You don't just care about our spiritual walk, but you care about all the things concerning us. You care about our bodies, our minds, our hearts, and our souls. And you created this unique body that just really ties everything together. God, you also care about our safety and you want us to. Trust and you want us to be stable. You want us to feel protected. You want us to feel free from harm and distress. God, you want us to feel secure. You want us to have healthy relationships. You want us to have a sense of peace and calm and control over our thoughts and our feelings. You want us to be free from overwhelming fear or anxiety. God, you want us to be confident in the abilities that you've given us. You want us to be able to trust other people. God, you want us to understand our limits. You want us to know our strengths and our weaknesses. And you want us to make a choice, choices that align with your will, your word, but you also want us to make choices that align with our ability and our resources. So, Father, we're placing our safety before you. Sometimes we won't even know how to be safe. Someone listening might not even might have not grown up in an environment where it is safe. And so, God, I thank you that you will teach us what safety looks like. You will remind us that first safety is with you. Safety is being connected to you. Safety is having a relationship with you. Safety is abiding in your presence. Safety is making room for you. You will remind us that we can't experience true safety without first and foremost making a place for you in our lives. So, God, help us to make you a priority. God, I thank you that you're repatterning our minds and our hearts to be able to make choices and make decisions that make room for us to be calm, that make room for us to be secure, that make room for us to be able to breathe and take breaths and not be overwhelmed with anxiety and fear of the future and worry and perfectionism and control and all the things that prevent us from really sitting and breathing and being calm in this life. So, God, I thank you that you are giving us the ability, that you're giving us the strategies, that you're giving us the tools, that you're giving us the resources, that you're showing us how we can create a safe life. Not only with you, but with the things of this world that we're living in. So I thank you, God, for helping us to make the right choices, for helping us to call the right people, for helping us to reprogram our hearts and our minds, just for helping us to make better choices so that we can become better versions of ourselves. God, I thank you that you care about us being safe. I thank you that you want us to be safe. I thank you that you give us the tools to be safe. I thank you, God, for what you're doing in the lives of the girls that are listening. I thank you for what you're doing in my life, God. May it be an evidence of the work that the Holy Spirit is doing in real time. May it be an evidence of the deep work that you're doing, God. I pray that you would be with us this week as we're trying to learn about ourselves, as we're trying to figure out what safety is. Holy Spirit, continue to speak to us, continue to illuminate things, continue to show us what we need to make adjustments. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Alright, y'all. Thank you for listening to this episode of Girl Live Love Be. Please like, subscribe, and share all the things. You can email me at girllivelovbe at gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you. Until next time, my prayer is that you'll live right, you'll love right, and you'll be right. Take care.