Episode 220: KidMen with Curt Nelson

There's a common stereotype that serving with a kids' ministry is predominantly a female role. However, as Curt Nelson and Hannah Augustine discuss in this podcast episode, boys and girls must see godly men serving in the church. Think outside the box and help the men of your church find their place in KidMin!

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Transcript

Hannah Augustine (00:00)

If you’ve been in KidMin for any length of time, you’ve probably heard the stereotype that kids’ ministry is for women. Today, Curt Nelson and I are here to tell you that’s not true. Kids need to see men of every generation serving in the church, and there are plenty of ways for them to do that. That’s what we’re talking about in today’s episode.

I’m Hannah Augustine, and this is a topic I’m passionate about. It’s time to change the stereotypes and make space for men to serve in KidMin. This is going to be a great conversation, so grab a notebook and get ready for practical ideas to get the men in your church involved.

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I'm joined today by Curt Nelson, the creator of Spyence Curriculum—where gospel-centered systematic theology collides, in the best way, with laughter, science experiments, spy-themed storytelling, and the occasional evil robot trying to ruin everyone’s day.

With 11 years of experience as a children’s pastor and a background in physics—which is pretty cool—Curt has a knack for taking big, adult-sounding truths and making them clear and fun enough that even fifth-grade boys stay engaged.

When we were planning today’s episode, you actually suggested we talk about KidMen and the importance of men serving in kids’ ministry. Why are you passionate about this? And as a man, how did you first get involved in KidMin?

Curt Nelson (02:44)

Thanks, Hannah. I started as a youth pastor working with middle and high school students, which is kind of a stereotypical guy role. As a bit of a throwaway responsibility, I was also put in charge of VBS. I thought, “Just get through this week—you can survive it.”

But to my surprise, I had so much fun with the elementary kids that I realized, “Wait, this is where I want to be.”

As I started reading statistics about how many boys don’t have a dad in the home—or have one who isn’t spiritually engaged—it really hit me. There’s a huge need for kids to see godly men who are excited to come to church, excited to worship, and excited to study God’s Word. Not there because they lost a bet, but because they genuinely want to be in children’s ministry.

I don’t know how much I had fully thought that through at the time, but I remember when I started at Northwest Hills Community Church, we had one male volunteer out of twelve on the kids’ church team. It was obvious—we needed more guys.

So I started intentionally recruiting. Eventually, we went from one man out of twelve to ten out of twelve. We definitely overcorrected—like, a lot. Our team basically turned into a boy band.

Hannah Augustine (03:54)

Amazing.

Curt Nelson (04:00)

We’ve since balanced things back out, but it showed me something important: you absolutely can get men involved in children’s ministry if you’re intentional about it.

And I think it’s worth saying—you don’t have to be a male children’s ministry leader to make that happen.

Hannah Augustine (04:19)

That is absolutely true. But before we go there—I need to know—what boy band would your team be? Are we talking One Direction, Boyz II Men, Jonas Brothers… What's the vibe?

Curt Nelson (04:31)

Oh man. I really want to say Steve Taylor in some band—which is not a boy band—but I think he’s amazing. If there’s anyone I could dance like, it would be Steve Taylor. He sets the bar pretty low, so I feel like I’ve got a shot.

Hannah Augustine (04:36)

We’ll take it. That’s fair—I love it.

I do agree, though—you don’t have to be a man to invite men to serve. There are definitely advantages. When you’re a man in children’s ministry, you’re modeling it and speaking from personal experience.

But I was a female children’s ministry leader for a long time. When I moved back into an elementary director role at our broadcast campus in Florida, we had about 175 to 275 kids on a weekend across multiple services. And our volunteer base was predominantly female.

We had a few middle and high school boys serving—mostly in the tech booth—but not many adult men. My campus pastor came to me and said, “I want you to get more men on this team. That’s what we need.”

So it became a challenge: Can I do this? Can I recruit these guys?

It started with simple, intentional invitations. We’ll talk more about how to do that, but it really came down to personally casting vision. And once you get one adult man involved—not just students, but grown men—it starts to spread.

You see a ripple effect. One becomes two, two become more, and it begins to shift the culture.

So Curt, from your perspective, what does it look like to effectively invite men to serve in KidMin?

Curt Nelson (06:28)

I think the most important tip is to be specific.

Don’t just stand on stage and say, “We need volunteers.” Everyone hears that and assumes you mean someone more qualified, more available, or someone who really loves glue sticks and glitter.

Instead, go to a specific man and give a specific reason you think he’d be a good fit for a specific need. Invite him into a specific role.

For example: “Mike, we have a fourth-grade boy who really needs a godly man in his life. I think you’d be great at building that kind of relationship. Would you consider serving as a classroom helper in fourth grade?”

Paint the picture. Help him see himself playing games, singing worship songs, answering questions, and building relationships. When the invitation is that clear, it removes the fear of the unknown.

Now he’s not stepping into some vague, overwhelming volunteer abyss—he can actually picture what he’ll be doing and why it matters.

Another strategy is to recruit in categories.

Dads with kids in the ministry are the obvious starting point, but don’t stop there. I actually had great success inviting dads whose kids had aged out of elementary ministry. Suddenly they had time again—and they loved being back with younger kids.

Also think about middle school and high school guys, college students, young adults, and even grandpas. Grandpas are incredible—they have time, wisdom, and the patience to listen to a 10-minute story that should have taken 45 seconds.

And finally, recruit in pairs or groups.

If you know a dad who might be a good fit, invite him and his teenage son to serve together. If you see a couple of college guys who are already friends, ask them at the same time.

It’s much easier to say yes when you’re not saying yes alone. Men tend to operate in groups—so use that. When you invite in pairs or teams, you’ll often get multiple yeses from a single ask.

Hannah Augustine (08:56)

That’s so good—I love the “pack animals” idea. It’s true. Men feel supported when they’re doing this together.

And honestly, that’s true for everyone. Women tend to keep serving when they feel connected, and men are often more willing to start serving when they feel connected. What you said about removing the “volunteer abyss” is so important. We assume people understand what we mean when we say “serve in kids’ ministry,” but they often don’t.

When we break it down and make it tangible, it becomes far less intimidating. Even something as simple as saying, “Hey Joe, Steve already serves at the 9:30 service—why don’t you connect with him? He’d love to tell you what he does.” That kind of bridge makes a huge difference.

I’ve also seen that the men who do start serving can become your greatest champions for bringing in other men. Like you said, dads are a great place to start—they already understand the importance of their role in a child’s life.

But we’re also in a time where many parents didn’t grow up in church. They’re not always familiar with Scripture, and they’re still learning and growing themselves. So while not every dad may be ready right away, when you find one who is leading his family spiritually and is engaged, that’s a great place to start.

And like you mentioned earlier, when their kids move up, there’s often this sense of, “I miss that stage. I miss when they were that eager to learn.” Helping them reconnect in that way is powerful.

Grandparents are another incredible group. I’m thinking of Steve, who served with us—his grandkids didn’t live nearby, so he poured into other kids. And that created something really special. Kids without local grandparents got that relationship, and he got to invest in the next generation.

We also invited spouses to serve together, which can be a beautiful dynamic. It strengthens marriages. Maybe they’re both leading tables in the same room or supporting in different ways, but they’re serving side by side and growing together.

Of course, you have to be mindful—when one is out, you may lose both—but it’s still worth it. Watching their relationship grow through serving is really meaningful.

Curt Nelson (11:30)

I love what you said about not disqualifying people who may not have a deep Bible background.

Sometimes we think, “They love God, but they don’t know a lot of Scripture yet.” And I actually think—that’s a great person to invite to teach.

You learn the most when you’re teaching. If someone walks through a year of teaching third or fifth grade doctrine, that’s an incredible growth opportunity for them. It becomes a built-in discipleship process.

So don’t disqualify people just because they didn’t grow up in church or don’t have years of Bible knowledge. They might be the perfect fit—and the role itself will help them grow.

Hannah Augustine (12:19)

I’d love to hear, especially from your perspective, what’s the best way to frame an invitation so that men are actually interested?

Curt Nelson (12:27)

The biggest thing is making sure they know you chose them for a reason—not just because you’re desperate… even if you are.

For example, with the Spyence curriculum, we have superhero videos where a team is trying to stop an evil robot each week. It’s basically theology with explosions—in a sanctified way.

So you might say to a guy, “Hey, we’re starting this new curriculum. Superheroes aren’t really my thing, but you love those movies, right? I think you’d really connect with the kids through this. Would you help in the kids' church for the next six weeks?”

He’s probably going to say yes—because you just told him his hobby is a spiritual gift. And as a nerdy fanboy myself, that’s hard to turn down.

Or with our science experiments, you could say, “We’re doing hands-on experiments each week, and I have no idea what I’m doing—but you’re great with that kind of stuff. Would you help?”

Now you’ve made him feel capable and needed—and that’s a powerful combination.

Hannah Augustine (13:46)

That’s so good. I’ve heard of churches doing something similar—bringing in parents almost like a “guest expert.” For example, “Hey, you’re a construction worker—we’re talking about Nehemiah. Would you come share what you do?”

It honors them, and it connects their everyday life to what kids are learning. And once they get a taste of that—of connecting with kids and seeing the impact—it often leads to longer-term involvement.

We have to stop separating “sacred” and “secular” so much. Some kids will grow up to be pastors or missionaries, but many won’t. They’ll go into all kinds of careers, and we want them to see how their passions and skills can honor God too.

When we invite adults into that space, we’re helping kids make those connections—and that’s huge.

Hannah Augustine (15:08)

You mentioned high schoolers, and the same principle applies. We’re helping them develop their gifts, grow in their faith, and step into leadership.

And kids love high schoolers—especially high school boys. We had a student named JJ who was incredible. When I asked about his time with the Lord, he told me he spent about an hour a day in the Bible. He was 15. I thought, “Who is this kid?”

He started serving and the kids adored him. They all wanted to be at his table. At one point, he had two tables—16 kids—and they were completely engaged.

So don’t underestimate what God can do through different ages and stages.

Curt, what are some practical roles or opportunities for men, depending on their personality or gifting?

Curt Nelson (16:05)

I love that question. And first, I’d say—don’t assume younger guys can’t handle big roles. I’ve seen high school students absolutely crush teaching a large group lesson.

But for someone just starting out, a few easy entry points might be helping lead games, running tech, or simply sitting with older boys and modeling engagement during worship and teaching.

That last one might sound simple, but it’s incredibly powerful. Boys are watching. If the adult men in the room are disengaged or on their phones, kids pick up on that. But if they’re participating—singing, answering questions, leaning in—boys will follow that example.

As confidence grows, you can give more ownership. Let them lead a game, co-lead a small group, or present a short object lesson.

And beyond typical classroom roles—get creative. Men tend to stay longer when they can use their strengths.

I had a volunteer ask if he could take kids outside during welcome time to throw a football by the creek. My first thought was, “This sounds like an incident report waiting to happen.” But I paused and thought—this is exactly the kind of positive male engagement we want.

So I said yes—with some safety boundaries—and it became a meaningful tradition. No one fell in the creek, thankfully.

We had another guy who loved taking apart old electronics with kids. Again—slightly risky—but incredibly engaging. He became a legend.

So yes, follow your safety policies—but as much as possible, say yes to creative, healthy, “guy-shaped” contributions.

Hannah Augustine (20:05)

That’s so important—giving ownership and freedom.

When volunteers feel like they have a voice and can bring their ideas, they become more invested. That football example—it may seem small, but those kids were showing up excited to see him. And he knew they were counting on him.

That kind of connection matters.

And when kids see men—of any age—serving, leading, reading Scripture, it shapes how they view their own future. They start to think, “I could do that too.”

We want kids to see themselves represented in the church.

And we also don’t want to put adults in boxes. We had volunteers from all kinds of backgrounds—realtors, bankers, designers, lawyers, grandparents—and they all taught differently. That variety was a strength.

If we hadn’t opened the door, some of them never would have stepped into those roles.

So don’t say no for people. Don’t limit them based on assumptions. Open the door and see what God does.

Now, Curt—how can we uplift and encourage the men who are already serving on our teams? What does it look like to lead them well?

Curt Nelson (23:25)

That’s a great question—and honestly, this is where churches either win big or lose big.

Once a man says yes to serving in children’s ministry, he needs two things right away: encouragement and freedom. If you get those right, you’ll see more and more men step in. If you get them wrong, it’s going to be an uphill battle.

First, encouragement.

For the ladies listening, when it comes to working with kids, men are often far more insecure than you might expect. It may not look that way—we’ll confidently attempt home repairs we have no business doing—but put us in a children’s ministry classroom, and suddenly we’re unsure.

A lot of men assume women are naturally better with kids. They’re afraid of doing it wrong or looking foolish. So when a man serves for the first time, affirm him early—and often.

Tell him he’s doing a great job before the class is even over. Tell him again afterward. Be specific about what he did well. Build that confidence right away, because confident volunteers come back. Insecure guys suddenly “have a lot going on” for the next eight years and disappear.

Second, give them freedom.

Not freedom to ignore safety policies or leadership—but freedom to serve in a way that feels natural to them. If a guy wants to connect with kids by tossing a football, leading a high-energy game, or turning a review into something active and competitive, be open to it.

I had to train myself to pause whenever I thought, “We’ve never done it that way.” Instead, I’d ask, “Is this actually a bad idea, or just unfamiliar?” Sometimes the unfamiliar ideas are exactly what make things work.

And yes, sometimes it might flop—but then you’ve got a great story. That’s part of the children's ministry. You try things. Some work beautifully, and some become stories you laugh about later.

Also, reduce unnecessary barriers.

We found it much more effective to replace large group training sessions with one-on-one onboarding. In 15 minutes, you can walk someone into their classroom, show them exactly what they’ll be doing, and answer their questions. It’s practical, personal, and far more effective than a long group meeting.

And just to be clear—this isn’t about replacing women in children’s ministry. Women have faithfully carried this ministry for generations, and they will continue to be the backbone of it.

This is about inviting men to help carry the load, so kids see the full family of God serving together.

When boys and girls see men showing up, opening the Bible, praying, and serving with joy, it communicates something powerful: following Jesus isn’t just for women or pastors—it’s for everyone.

So here’s a simple challenge: think of one man you can invite this week. Identify a specific reason you’re asking him and a specific role he could fill—then actually ask him.

And if you’re thinking, “I wish I had a curriculum that made this easier,” that’s a big part of why I created Spyence. It’s designed to make theology engaging, hands-on, and easy to invite men into. Plus, you get to say things like, “The Shark Rat Super Sisters are trying to stop an evil robot,” which is just fun.

Hannah Augustine (27:41)

There were so many great points in that.

Going back to insecurity—look for ways to affirm these men from multiple angles. If your pastor or campus pastor can stop by and personally thank them, that’s huge. Maybe it’s a handwritten note after their first Sunday. That kind of recognition from leadership goes a long way.

I’m thinking about my husband. When we were dating, he got recruited to serve in the children's ministry. He only served a few times a year, but I remember his first time so clearly.

He hadn’t completed the full onboarding process yet, so he wasn’t leading—just helping. I gave him the job of putting together glow sticks for a New Year’s Eve-themed service. I stepped out of the room for a minute, and when I came back, he told me later, “You left me—and the kids saw the glow sticks. They all surrounded me.”

He said, “I didn’t think I was supposed to talk to them, so I just stood there.” One of our volunteers had to come rescue him.

Later on, he got pulled into teaching a preschool class on the fly because a volunteer wasn’t prepared. He stepped up and made it work. And he’s great with kids—I’ve seen it over and over.

But even now, he’ll still say, “I’m not good with kids.”

That’s why encouragement matters so much. You cannot over-affirm. Be specific: “I loved how you connected with that child,” or “You handled that moment so well.” Help them see the impact they’re making.

Also, for the women listening, be mindful of boundaries in communication. Every church is different, but it’s wise to consider what’s appropriate—whether that’s group texts, involving spouses, or having another male leader help care for and connect with the men on your team.

You don’t have to make it awkward—just be intentional and wise. And if needed, invite other men—pastors, elders, or leaders—to help shepherd the guys on your team. That support system helps them stay connected and engaged long-term.

Curt Nelson (31:18)

That’s really interesting. As a male children’s pastor, I’ve always been careful about how I communicate with female volunteers—but I hadn’t really thought about it the other way around. That’s a great point.

Hannah Augustine (31:31)

Every church will handle that differently, but it’s worth having the conversation. Talk with your leadership. Set clear, healthy boundaries.

And don’t let that become a barrier. If you feel unsure how to connect with the men on your team, find someone who can. There are people in your church who would love to invest in them.

At the end of the day, getting men involved in children’s ministry is a win for the entire church.

Hannah Augustine (32:09)

Curt, we’re so grateful for you—for your years of serving in the church and now for the work you’re doing with Spyence.

I love your passion for systematic theology. Sometimes we underestimate what kids can understand—but they’re capable of so much more than we think. And not only can they understand it, they need it. They need those foundations.

Curt Nelson (32:49)

Absolutely. There are so many great chronological, through-the-Bible curriculums—and I love those.

But I also love alternating with a year focused on doctrine—taking those stories and helping kids understand the theology behind them. Giving them the vocabulary they hear in church but may not yet understand.

With Spyence, we created 52 lessons based on systematic theology—each week introducing a “secret code word,” which is really just a theology term. It’s amazing to hear kids use those words and have parents say, “I didn’t know you knew what sanctification means.”

And when kids sit in a service with their parents, those terms aren’t going over their heads anymore—they understand.

Kids are naturally curious. It’s the perfect time to teach them these deeper truths.

Hannah Augustine (34:09)

I love that—it builds a hunger for the deeper things of God.

Those little “did you know?” moments stick with kids and spark something in them. You never know what God is planting for the future.

If you want to check out Spyence, you can visit spyence.com—that’s S-P-Y-E-N-C-E.com. There are free sample lessons, so you can see if it’s a good fit for your ministry.

And like Curt mentioned, you can rotate it in with other curriculums. Kids love the science element—we’ve done science-themed events before, and they were a huge hit.

Hannah Augustine (35:17)

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Curt, would you close us in prayer?

Curt Nelson (35:37)

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the mission you’ve given us to disciple the next generation and point them to you. Help us recruit the right people, place them in the right roles, and trust you to work through them. We love you. Amen.

Hannah Augustine (35:52)

Amen. That’s right—recruit the people and get out of the way.

Thank you, Curt, for being here. Don’t forget to check out Spyence, and be sure to like, subscribe, and share this episode with someone who needs to recruit men into their ministry.

We’ll see you next time.