Let's face it, stress is a real thing and in today's world of a pandemic that never seems to end and social media and politics a constant, it's no wonder that depression and anxiety is rampant among us. However the most common reason for stress has been around for as long as time. Money... Have it or don't finances can make stress excruciating which leads to all kinds of health problems. This week in honor of World Suicide Prevention Day, 9/10/21 we discuss the ways to mitigate those stresses to live a healthier and productive life.
Let's face it, stress is a real thing and in today's world of a pandemic that never seems to end and social media and politics a constant, it's no wonder that depression and anxiety is rampant among us. However the most common reason for stress has been around for as long as time. Money... Have it or don't finances can make stress excruciating which leads to all kinds of health problems. This week in honor of World Suicide Prevention Day, 9/10/21 we discuss the ways to mitigate those stresses to live a healthier and productive life.
Welcome to Talk Wealth To Me, a safe space podcast, where we chat about anything and everything related to personal finance, the information contained in this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes. Only. It does not constitute as accounting, legal tax or other professional advice.
Chase Peckham:You phone was messing with the recording equipment
Felipe Arevalo:Been a while, since my phone messed with the recording equipment.
Chase Peckham:Yeah, it's been a little while. And Phil it's so good to see you.
Felipe Arevalo:It is.
Chase Peckham:Just face to face.
Felipe Arevalo:In person.
Chase Peckham:It's the first time we have done a recording, uh, in a long time you came up, we've got our annual golf tournament coming up next week. And so.
Felipe Arevalo:It's goodie bag stuffing day.
Chase Peckham:Yeah. Goody bag. My wife is going to be very happy to get this stuff out of the garage. Yeah. I, and I'll be happy to park my truck back in there.
Felipe Arevalo:Yeah I saw your way down the street.
Chase Peckham:I am. Yeah, because we have all the golf equipment and all the golf stuff for the golf tournament. It's our one big fundraiser a year. Uh, and if you can't be with us on that golf tournament, you can always donate to the cause. If you'd, if you'd like, but it's really good to see you again and not on a computer screen.
Felipe Arevalo:Right? Yeah. It's good to be in person and everyone could follow the golf activity, things on social media as well. They can just kind of see how much fun everyone's having.
Chase Peckham:You're much better at the social media thing than you are swinging a golf club, aren't you?
Felipe Arevalo:Oh, very much so. Even though I've been playing golf a little longer, uh, it just never, never took off.
Chase Peckham:Well, it's interesting that today we have a topic that is not very lighthearted,
Felipe Arevalo:No.
Chase Peckham:So to speak because today is a special day.
Felipe Arevalo:Yeah, it's definitely, um, what, today we're recording a little earlier, but when this episode airs, this episode will air on World Suicide Prevention Day
Chase Peckham:World suicide prevention day. And why are we going to talk about that? Well, so much of stress, anxiety, depression, uh, and unfortunately, sometimes leading to suicide, um, can be caused by personal financial stress. Um, it can be caused by financial problems. We see it quite a lot, uh, in that people with mounting bills, um, whether you're dealing with, you know, an illness and you've got mounting, uh, medical bills that insurance isn't covering, or you just, you're not making as much money as what's going out. Uh,
Felipe Arevalo:And it's something that it's a difficult topic. And I know we picked a difficult one for our first in-person one, but first as we get started, if you are having any thoughts or any feelings of suicide, please do remember there is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and that's 1 800-273-8255 that's 24 hours a day. You can always reach out and talk to someone there.
Chase Peckham:It's so important. And there are so many things that, that we can do. Um, mental health is it's much more open nowadays. Um, it's much more, uh, it's easier for people to talk to other people about it because it's, it's not a stigma anymore,
Felipe Arevalo:Right.
Chase Peckham:Or at least it doesn't seem to be. Um, and I can tell you from past experience when my mother passed away, I dealt with, um, some pretty agonizing anxiety, uh, that had just built up over time and hit me like a ton of bricks. And I, it was scary. I had no idea what had hit me, what was wrong with me? Uh, you lived through, you know, you were there when I was going through that. Um, and it was, it was, it was very difficult, uh, and found out that there was, uh, some of that cause was because I was going through some depression that I had had when my mother got sick and it's natural, it's normal. People are going to be sad. And a lot of times when you're going through, uh, just over and over and over again, day in and day out, you're going through those kinds of stresses. It can internalize so much that it can have an adverse effect on your body. Um, and you get physical symptoms that you think, oh my gosh, I must be.
Felipe Arevalo:Having a heart attack.
Chase Peckham:I'm having a heart attack and I'm, can't breathe, or I've got pains in my back and I've got neck aches and I've got all these things and you think all these different things could be wrong with you. I've got cancer. I've got this.
Felipe Arevalo:You start googling things it goes down hill real quick.
Chase Peckham:Oh, yes. Oh yeah. That was not good for my, Hey. Yeah, definitely not good for my anxiety. And.
Felipe Arevalo:Then it becomes a cycle,
Chase Peckham:It does.
Felipe Arevalo:where the anxiety causes you to go Google something. And that causes instead of any kind of relief, it'll cause even more anxiety.
Chase Peckham:The fact that you have anxiety can cause more anxiety. It's a vicious cycle. Yeah. Especially if you don't know what's going on. So one of the number one things that you can do, and this is financial stress, financial anxiety, whatever it might be. Talk to somebody that is the number one thing you can do is not let these things bottle up. And let you think that you can handle this on your own,
Felipe Arevalo:It's like getting it off your chest. When people say like, get it off your chest,
Chase Peckham:100 percent.
Felipe Arevalo:Talk to someone. And it's become so much where, you know, if you have someone near you start there, but also don't be afraid to look for a professional. Don't be afraid to look for someone to therapist or someone to talk to. And it's so thankfully now de-stigmatized where you have more celebrities and athletes and people who are, you know, in the media who admit to it who say, go to it, who, you know, admit that, oh yeah, I just left. And it's something where if you told your friends, Hey guys, I can't make it out of my session. They're probably gonna be like, all right, no problem. Because it's so normalized. Thankfully, I don't know that. I don't know. It definitely hasn't always been that way.
Chase Peckham:No, definitely not. Uh, and when you're talking to somebody about your financial, I mean, even if, if it's you talk to a therapist or something like that, but even talking to a money professional, that can just, just the fact that you can talk about this as what I'm going through and, you know, can you help me, or can you give me the right tools? And we do that a lot.
Felipe Arevalo:We do.
Chase Peckham:When we meet with people, when you especially meet with, uh, individuals and they are struggling, just the fact that they talk to you for an hour or two, and we, you, you kind of put them in the right direction, give them, uh, an idea of, of a game plan to try to help their finances, just that can relieve a dramatic amount of stress. And how many of our boosts for our heroes and, and different people that we've worked with will come back to you and say, gosh, you just you've given me hope. And, and I feel like I don't have that weight on my shoulders anymore.
Felipe Arevalo:I mean, last week I talked to two previous boost winners and they're doing great. They're, you know, moving along with their financial plan and, you know, they might be at the golf tournament, you know, just supporting and, you know, telling their story. But it's something where, you know, I don't think I realized that financial stress has effect on people and could lead to those, uh, suicidal thoughts. But even I, as I was telling you about it, like we should do an episode on this. I didn't realize how bad it was. Like, I didn't realize how much of an impact there's an article last year in the medical news today, but it was citing a study in the American journal of epidemiology that states that according to the study, people who have recently experienced severe financial strain may have a 20 fold, higher risk of attempting suicide than those who have not encountered a hardship 20 fold. That is such a high number
Chase Peckham:Dramatic number.
Felipe Arevalo:Yeah.
Chase Peckham:Again, I think the first thing that people need to do is talk to somebody and there could be multiple, just that, just the fact that you might talk to a family member, talk to a friend that's close. And just to the fact that you can let that burden out,
Felipe Arevalo:Yeah.
Chase Peckham:Um, can help dramatically. Um, and then what that can lead to too is being referred to other people that can professionally help you in many different ways. Um, on a, like a therapist talking about anxiety, how to deal with anxiety and how to deal with depression, uh, and those kinds of things give you different tools, but then the financial professionals that can help lead you and guide you in a way, because most of the time, people with deep financial stress, they just, they keep going through the same cycles. Um, thinking I can deal with this. I can deal with this. I can deal with this, but there's that whole, you know, you expect a different result by doing the same things and over and over again, it's not going to work.
Felipe Arevalo:Right you have to make some kind of sometimes drastic change if your financial situation has gotten way out of hand and. But you're right though, starting with talking to someone, even if it's just a friend, a family member, a neighbor, uh, someone who can give you that reassurance because oftentimes we, we tend to be harder on ourselves.
Chase Peckham:Oh yeah.
Felipe Arevalo:Than we would be on other people. And I think we've mentioned that before, you know, sometimes the, the advice that you're giving others, isn't the advice you'd give yourself on any given topic.
Chase Peckham:100% And not only that we in our own minds can make things a hundred times worse than they really are.
Felipe Arevalo:Right.
Chase Peckham:And if by talking to that professional, talking to somebody like us, or you're, you know, the financial literacy center and just getting a game plan together, we might look at it completely different because we're looking at it from a different view. And we might say, Hey, look, it's not as bad as you think, right. You know, you, yes, there are going to have to be fundamental changes. There's going to be some things that you're going to need to do to right the ship, but it can be done and it can be done pretty easily.
Felipe Arevalo:And you can give those success stories. Like I've seen people work their way out of this. You can do it too.
Chase Peckham:Yeah.
Felipe Arevalo:Type of thing. And it's that maybe it's, maybe some people need that reassurance. And regardless of how bad their financial situation has gotten, there is a way to recover from it financially. So there's, it might not be, it's not easy. It's not going to be a quick fix, but there are ways to recover from it and people have done it. So that means you can do it as well.
Chase Peckham:Another thing that you can do and should do, and you probably win when you've talked to a professional or you talk to somebody they're going to give you this advice too, but taking inventory of your finances can relieve the stress too. It might feel stressful when you're doing it because you're afraid of what you're going.
Felipe Arevalo:You don't want to see.
Chase Peckham:Right. Most of the time that people, they don't want to keep track of their finances, they don't want to do that because they're, they're afraid of what they're going to Find out.
Felipe Arevalo:They know I have debt, but it's there it's a lot like how much,
Chase Peckham:right.
Felipe Arevalo:And sometimes that number can be a little scary, but you adding up your debt, you adding up all your finances and getting an actual picture of where you stand financially is not going to make them any better or any worse. It's just going to give you a starting point from where you can build and move in the direction that you're looking for.
Chase Peckham:Right. So if you include all the sources of income and then keep track of all your spending, we talk about this all the time. It's so important to figure out and Quinn creating a budget that is going to help. And the more you do that, you're going to start to see patterns. Um, and that there's patterns that you probably don't even realize that are there, uh, we talk about going and getting your coffee every day, or do you know, buying certain things that you do, or maybe you're stressed out. And so you might shop online at night because you're stressed out and then.
Felipe Arevalo:Get that parade of boxes.
Chase Peckham:That makes you feel better for a short time. And then next thing you know, is you're feeling guilty when it shows up and then you're having to send it back. And so there's all those things that, that can come up so that that's important, uh, to, to really just track not only the spending and all those kinds of things, but you're going to find more about, uh, more about yourself as you do this, just through your spending,
Felipe Arevalo:Right. You get that real picture and you might see patterns where stress starts, shopping starts, causes more stress,
Chase Peckham:Right.
Felipe Arevalo:And if you could just break that pattern or break that cycle, you might be able to make more progress and get out of whatever financial rut you happen to be in. Sometimes you have those big life events that causes the debt, but oftentimes, you know, we see where it's just a slow progress to where now all of a sudden they can't handle the finances. And it's something where it's, if you Would have just seen this a year ago And came to us and talk to us and set up a budget a year ago, or, or talk to someone about your finances a year ago, it would have been so much easier than it is now,
Chase Peckham:Right.
Felipe Arevalo:Because people wait until they hit that tipping point where all of a sudden, it's just so much more than they can handle. It's like six months ago, you could have handled this a lot easier a year ago. You could have handled this a lot easier. Uh, so there is that where better just look at it, attack it, head on and get your financial picture, and then start because financial stress then leads to all the other stresses.
Chase Peckham:Exactly.
Felipe Arevalo:It's not just your finances, but then you start stressing about your kids because their financials are tied to your financials. You start stressing about cars, auto insurance is your mortgage.
Chase Peckham:If you have one and it just kind of.
Felipe Arevalo:Rent. takes over rent, just making rent. And it's something where that even something is, you know, grocery shopping and putting food on the table. And, and then it just kind of infiltrates every other part of your everyday life, the finances. So, you know, getting that picture and getting on that can be key and really taking a look at your finances once you've kind of figured it out. The process itself may be difficult. It's very stress relieving.
Chase Peckham:It is.
Felipe Arevalo:Once you have the plan, once you know where you're going and where your financial outlook is, it it's more of a stress reliever than a stressor.
Chase Peckham:Well, it's Knowledge is power. And so much of stress, stress, anxiety, depression comes from what if and unknown. Um, so what is my future going to be if we don't, if we keep going and getting into the debt that we're in and it's going to, at what point is it going to be a tipping point? And when are we going to lose everything and, oh my gosh. And then it gets bigger. We talked about that,
Felipe Arevalo:that avalanche
Chase Peckham:snowball, that avalanche effect, uh, it just keeps coming. And not only is the financial debt getting worse, but so does the distress. So by taking care of it now, creating, coming up with a game plan and in talking to somebody that can legitimately help you and take a look at your plan and say, look, this is if we follow these steps, you, we, we could better this situation and fairly quickly, right. Uh, and you know, so much stress is coming out of COVID. Um, you know, w w people losing work, not working as much, um, not having, uh, losing their jobs for periods of time working at home,
Felipe Arevalo:Extended unemployment just ended, you know, so that could cause you know, someone who's been out of work, uh, you know, that just ended yesterday. I want to say this weekend. So or previous weekend, I guess when you're listening to this, but, um, you know, there's those added financials and just the uncertainty of coming out of COVID and then some areas, still lots of people getting sick, still lots of people, you know, in, in the hospital, it's just, it's been a tough couple of years.
Chase Peckham:It has been.
Felipe Arevalo:For a lot of people. So it really has, um, you know, I, I would say for most of us, so it's something where that could be building on this dress so much more. And then you add in the financials and, you know, that could just really mess up, uh, someone's mental health
Chase Peckham:Again, if you're having, or, you know, somebody that has had, um, stress, which has led to thoughts of hurting yourself or, um, you know, there's a number to call.
Felipe Arevalo:Yeah. Always remember that they're 24 hours a day. It's the national suicide prevention lifeline, and it's 1 800 273 8255.
Chase Peckham:There's also, Uh, so many things, if you feel, you know, it's, it's hard to find therapists these days. Um, you know, my daughter went through some pretty bad anxiety. She didn't even know what she was going through after our dog passed away. Um, and we wanted to find somebody for her to talk to it. And it was difficult because a lot of people are going through fine. Right. They're mental. Yeah. Mental stresses right now. Um, and so it's hard to find, but there is, uh, an organization or a company that you can find online from your own home. It's called better help.
Felipe Arevalo:I've heard it.
Chase Peckham:Betterhelp.com. It's, it's great. You can hear it on Dax Shepard show. Um, it's advertised, uh, on Smartlist they, they, they, uh, advertise that. So it's on a lot of different podcasts, uh, but it's, uh, it's a good one that you can find and talk to a financial professional as well. And you can find organizations such as the San Diego financial literacy center, you can call and we can help you. Um, with the financial standpoint of that, we, we are not, we're not meant to, we're not mental therapy or mental health therapists.
Felipe Arevalo:We are not mental health professionals in that way,
Chase Peckham:but we can help with your money situation. We can help you get together and put together a financial plan. Uh, we also have programs where you can meet, uh, through for it with a financial professional, um, meet with a certified financial planner, uh, to discuss your personal situation and get started with that for free. So, I mean, that's your first step is just finding, uh, finding that outlet, uh, talking to somebody that can help, um, put you on the right path. And of course we get down to Phil is nothing more important than dealing with financial stress is putting together a budget. And that's the hardest thing to do. We talked about, uh, creating the game plan. We talked about, uh, uh, following your finances, keeping track of your spending. And that's really where it is. I mean, the stresses of most of the time is because we just don't know where we're going. We don't what we don't know what lays ahead and putting together a financial budget at least gives you a much clearer path to what your financial world can look like.
Felipe Arevalo:Right. It's funny, we started our podcast talking about budgeting for the very first episode and we keep bringing it up and people might be thinking, oh, there they go. Talking about budgeting again, it's really the foundation for everything else. Personal finances is having a good, solid budget and having a good idea of where your money's going, where it's coming from. And, and you know, what your plan is for that money.
Chase Peckham:Absolutely. Without question. And then a lot of times we make fun that a lot of times financially money is wasted, uh, on a gym membership because they never go, right. They pay it monthly, but they're not going. Or they buy the rowing machinery, right. They buy the Bowflex.
Felipe Arevalo:who would have bought a,
Chase Peckham:who buys a Bowflex and then never uses it.
Speaker 3:It's holding some shirts right now. Uh,
Chase Peckham:Well, I mean, exercise though has been proven that it can help your mental stress. You go out and if you walk and you get outside and you breathe fresh air breathing, coming with breathing through the diaphragm, while you walk, it can really lead to just energy boosting. It can boost your mood. It can make you feel so much better. Uh, you know, I know that when Carrie and I bought our Peloton, it was one of the best things we have done. And we were so lucky we did it before COVID hit. And then when COVID hit, we could still, yeah, it was, yeah, it really was. It was something we are glad we had it before, but it, the community, and I mean, we don't get paid by Peloton, but I can tell you that that community, uh, of taking live classes or taking classes with friends or, or, you know, a community, uh, it can really help. And not only that, but you feel better, you look better, it's going to improve your stress management. It's going to improve your stresses, uh, your anxieties and improve your overall health, which is going, you know, you feel better. You're gonna, things are gonna work out a little bit better for you, um, because you feel good. Yeah.
Felipe Arevalo:Oh, working out is a great, and it doesn't have to be, it could be whatever working out is to you, you know, it could be, you mentioned, like if you can't go for a run or swim or something, you can go out for a walk, you can go out, uh, you know, I'm a big fan of hiking. You can go out for a hike, get out in nature and get some dirt on your shoes and, and, you know, try and stay safe. It's hot out there. And it's fire season for us here in California. Uh, so actually we have, most of our forests are closed right now. Um, not as much hiking, but you can go out, walk the beach. If you have a beach walk by the lake or the river or whatever you have dream, or just walk by your neighborhood and, you know, wave at your neighbors as you walk by and get that fresh,
Chase Peckham:They listened to podcasts. You can listen to meditations, you can do all these things that can help you. I know that meditation, as I used to think that that was for Buddhists, right. And that was, I was just, you know, very uneducated about it. And it's not, it means so many things, but it's staying focused and present in your thinking, which helps so much in, in, and breathing is so much into that sleeping. You know, a lot of times when you're stressed, it's the hardest thing, right. Is to get some good sleep. Uh, when you're stressed, you tend to drink a little bit more or do things that can relax you, and then that doesn't help your sleep. So there are so many things that you can do to help your overall health, eating healthier foods, uh, is, is a great way to make you feel better. And seeing if, if you're, you know, if you lose a little weight or though the clothes feel a little better, that's going to help so much as well. Um, and then easy
Speaker 3:Workout like a yoga. Yeah,
Speaker 2:No, man. I told you I do a lot of yoga right now. I've been doing it a lot. The Peloton, I'm going to say I've been doing a lot of the Peloton yogas and stretching because my body, but it has helped not only helped me with my hips and my hamstrings and my glutes loosening up, but my golf game has improved dramatically because I'm so much more limber and I don't have those aches and pains as much. But boy, I'll tell you what people think yoga is easy. It is not, there
Speaker 3:Are beginner yogas who are some people who can get started on an easy sale, but you're right. Yoga can definitely be a workout.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I've been doing a lot of Pilates and it's been, I feel so much better and it's loosening up those hips and those hamstrings and those I'm so tight already. Uh, those hip flexors. Oh my gosh. And then if you ride quite a bit, your hip selectors are going to be much tighter. So I've been stretching and doing some 40 yoga every day, including what the other workout. And I'm telling you, I feel so much better in the anxieties and those depression symptoms have really subsided, uh, by doing it cause you really get focused mentally. And then there's so many things of being grateful for the things that you do have in your life. Um, human nature Flippa is, is to focus on the things that are going wrong. Um, you know, we, you could be successful 15 times in business, uh, in row. And then you have one bad month and you go, that's you focus there. Right. Right. You know, you are, you, you weren't as successful in one thing. And you focus there, uh, when you were successful more times than you weren't right. But no, one's batting a thousand. Nobody's batting a thousand. And what we, hopefully Lou is learn from our mistakes, learn from our failures. And then, and so those don't happen over and over again. And that's what putting together the budget, putting together the game plan, reaching out to a professional can help so much because you don't know what you don't know. Right. Right. And deck that can help. Just the beginning of that, just the talking to somebody can get you on that road to recovery. I can get you on that road to a healthier financial life. And that's really, what's important, um, is, is getting that together. And when you don't have those, uh, psychological, uh, symptoms, uh, those anxious symptoms that you can feel, you can get physical aches and pains from, from being anxious. Yeah. Absolutely. Muscle tension, all those things, all kinds of things. Oh, bad stomach GI. Oh, by the way, went through a colonoscopy just recently we did an upper GI endoscopy. Everything turned out. Okay. But they did remove some polyps. So there was anxiety there physically, and now that's a way, but, um, that's important. Don't put that stuff off. Don't use your insurance. Don't put off, go to your checkups. Yeah. Believe me. Look, I wish my wife, she wasn't. It was, you know, they, weren't going to test her at 42 years old anyway. So it's just a scary thing. But at 45, ask your doctors, if there's anybody in your family, if there's health things, get yourself checked. I know that doctor can be scary. I get hypochondria. I get white coat syndrome. I don't like, I don't love going in, but it's better that they catch stuff early. Yeah. If there is anything at all, right.
Speaker 3:And if not, and if there's nothing there, then you get that peace of mind. You know, then you don't have to stress about it anymore. You went, you got to it out. You're good. You can go on with doing
Speaker 2:The work, the$40 copay,$50 copay, whatever it might be. Don't put things off. Um, you know, my wife and I are going, you know, my poor wife is going through colon cancer and treatments and chemo. And you know, it's, it's a lot of money out of pocket, but, you know, thank goodness we have some decent insurance. Um, but those stresses, you know, you wonder how you're going to pay for things because you know, your life doesn't stop. Right. So it's just putting together a game plan. It's a new way of life that we have to live right now. But once you get used to this new life that you're living, whether it be a new budget or, um, you know, you might find that you're eating better. You might find that by looking at your finances, you might eat more healthy. You might not eat out as much. Uh, there's all kinds of things that this can help with. So being aware, but reaching out for help is the number one thing that you can do. Absolutely.
Speaker 3:Don't be afraid to reach out for the help. And even if it's reaching out at first to friend, family, whoever, and have them, maybe they can provide that support and kind of guide you back to more.
Speaker 2:I absolutely refer you to help,
Speaker 3:Um, or just keep it on you. Yeah. Sometimes it's just nice to have someone to say, Hey, how are you doing? And for no reason at all. So, you know, keeping that eye out and if you know someone who's struggled with mental health in the past, maybe you just reach out and you don't have to, it could just be a, Hey, how's your day going? And there might not be any other reason for it. You just, you know, you get a text message from your friend who just says, you know, Hey, how's your day going for no reason at all. And it's kind of cool. So,
Speaker 2:And you can save a life. Yeah. You could, you could be helping somebody, so pay attention to your friends, look and see if, if, if there's been changes in their personality, if they're down, reach out. Um, I know that, you know, I can tell you that the support that we've gotten from our friends, the community that we've had, both professionally and personally, um, it's been overwhelming to know how many people care out there and that are behind us. Um, and that matters a lot in Carrie's fight, uh, to beat this disease is knowing that she's got a support unit out there and that'll do anything for her and us in general. So,
Speaker 1:Um, reach out, ask. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Sometimes maybe they don't even know. Right.
Speaker 1:So, uh, have a wonderful afternoon. You as well and forward to the golf tournament, whether it's just one toasty, warm, but I think we'll survive. Absolutely. And let's give that number one more time. Yeah. So if you, at any point, you know, they're open 24 hours a day. Uh, they got English, Spanish, I believe the other language, but it's the suicide prevention hotline. 802 7 3 8 2 5. All right. And we'll see you all next week.[inaudible].