Episode 192- Control Issues

In this episode of Get Your Shoot Together, Kira and Mary dive into all the ways control (or the lack of it) shows up in business and life. From unexpected storms and magazine assignments to picky clients and personal milestones like Kira’s brand-new nose piercing, they cover it all. They talk about setting boundaries, knowing when to say yes (or no) to new opportunities, and how to navigate creative control in both portrait and commercial work. If you're feeling like the world’s a little out of your hands right now, you’re not alone.
Listen now and take back your power!

This episode was written and performed by Mary Fisk-Taylor and Kira Derryberry, produced by Kira Derryberry and edited by Joel North.

Transcript

GYST - 192

Kira: [00:00:00] Welcome to Get Your Shoot Together, the Photographers podcast where we discuss studio, business life, and keeping it all in line. I'm Kira

Kira: Derry berry. 

Mary: And I'm Mary Fis k Taylor. 

Kira: Hello, Mary Fis k Taylor. Hello. Hello. Here we are. After. Um, yet again. Yet again, here we are. Um, I will apologize. I am dealing with, I was just explain.

Kira: I was just, I was not explaining, I was complaining, uh, to Kira. I don't know about where you guys are, but it's allergy season here, so 

Kira: Oof. It is, uh, it's very polity here. Like you can't, your cars are just covered in, in yellow. Yes. We just have yellow coated everything. Yellow coated everything. And everyone's sick and everyone's horse.

Kira: Yes. That's how I feel. I actually, um, was going to dinner the other night. I don't know if you guys, uh, big shout out. Um, Andrew Bowen, who is a, a photographer in North Carolina. So [00:01:00] kind came up and did a program here in Richmond and I wasn't gonna be able to go to the program, um, because I had a, a full day of sessions.

Kira: But, um, he reached out and I said, oh, let's grab dinner, you know, the night before or whatever. Now, Andrea was on World Cup this year, and he had that amazing black and white dance image. I don't know, you'll know now I'm talking about Oh yeah, yeah. Stunning. Um, and he has such a cool business model. I was just, I really enjoyed meeting with him, but I go to hop in my car to meet him for dinner and I was like, oh my God, if I don't have time to run through the car wash, I'm gonna be so embarrassed rolling up in this, you know, I, I looked like I was driving a full on Bumblebee at this point.

Kira: It was like just yellow and dark green. It was just the lovely color. So I ran through the car wash and by the time I came out to the valet to pick up my car, it was completely covered again. And I'm like, oh, well what's the point? What's the point? That's why we have a subscription. We have a. I love a subscription.

Kira: We have a car wash subscription. You, its like the smartest Yes. It's so smart. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, 

Kira: if, if I, I wish, I wish I was somebody who kept my car. [00:02:00] Nice. You've been in my car. It's not nice. I can't keep it nice. I'm not even sure I deserve a nice car these days. Like, why are you spending the money on a nice car?

Kira: Why don't you just get a beater Because you're gonna, well, because you're gonna trash it. 

Mary: No. Oh, well I do keep my car nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, because you need something reliable. 

Kira: Yeah, well, I, I'm, I'm very happy with, you know, the, the electric of the car. Yes. Because that's working out really well. Um, uh, not a Tesla, obviously it's a Volkswagen, but, um, uh, yeah, so I, I still wanna stay with that, like, so whenever, whenever my lease is up, I'll, I'll get something else.

Kira: But yeah, you kind of, if you're gonna do that, you kind of have to have a new car. 

Mary: Yeah, you, yeah. You kind of do, you kind of have to have a new car and you Yeah. You know, well, it's very, the car wash is right up the street. Like I could just run in and out, just, it let, I just, it's built in like my, it knows my license plate, so I pull up, it, go, goes up, I go through, I'm in and out in five minutes.

Mary: Easy people. Nice. Nice. No, it's super good. Yeah, super [00:03:00] fun. Well, 

Kira: super fun. So anyway, still yellow though. 

Mary: Still yellow? Still 

Kira: yellow. Uh, so yeah, it's pretty dreary out here today, but it was a beautiful weekend. Yes. Um, beautiful week. Uh, I had a lovely birthday filled with lots of excitement as, as I've already shared with you multiple times.

Kira: But, uh, one of the things I did is I got, this week I treated myself to what I call an an adult responsibility plant. Um, 

Mary: oh. 

Kira: Uh, because I've been, I've been this, this year I've, I've gotten a little more into like my potted plants and I can't have any house plants because my cats will eat them. Okay. 'cause the maniacs, I tried to have a, I do have a money tree at my house 'cause it's literally the only thing that's not poisonous to cats if they chew on it.

Kira: Okay. And they have chewed on it to a place where it just looks so pitiful. And I wonder if it's not like an uh, like a bad omen for money. In general, like if your money tree plant is just shredded and tiny, so, so I have that, but no, I bought a, now listen to when I say this, [00:04:00] a fiddly fig, 

Mary: fiddly fig. 

Kira: Now are you saying fiddly fig, or are you saying fiddly Fig.

Kira: A fiddly 

Mary: fig. 

Kira: Okay. That is what I said, and my husband said, it's not a fiddly fig, it's a fiddly fig. And I said, we're saying the same thing. 

Mary: Yeah. 

Kira: He goes, no, you're saying like fiddle and then you're putting a lee on that, and then you're saying fig, but it's actually fiddle leaf fig. But there's the only, oh, fiddle 

Mary: leaf fig.

Kira: Yeah. It's, but it's, I've never said fiddly fig, but if you say it. It sounds exactly the same. 

Mary: Fiddle, fig, fiddle leaf. Well, fiddle leaf fig sounds very different than fiddly fig. 

Kira: Yeah. But if you're just saying it fast, is it not exactly the same 

Mary: fi fig? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I see what you're saying. I didn't, no.

Mary: I guess maybe I did know it was a fiddle leaf [00:05:00] fig. Now that I think, I think I did know that too, because I think I did too at some point. '

Kira: cause the leaves are. Or fiddle shaped, you know, like that's, that's, that's why it's called that or whatever. Actual fiddle leaf. Yeah, fiddle leaf fig. Yes. So, uh, but anyway, it is, um, a temperamental plant that is hard to, hard to keep and hard to get, like established and doing well, and you have to really take care of it like people.

Kira: Like, I'm gonna have to have somebody come check on it when I go outta town. Like that's, oh wow. That's where we're at. Yeah. 'cause it's gonna be at the office, like it's in, it's in studio. So, uh, but it's survived a week, a whole week. It's got new growth on it. I'm using, there's a, for those of you who are into plants in cust in chat, GBT, there is a, it's called Planty.

Kira: It's a custom GPT, uh, that helps you, um, helps you with your plants. And, uh, I'll post it in on get your Shoot together. But it's, I've been using that and that's been very helpful to kind of like, know how to re I had to repot it and [00:06:00] all that stuff and so I'm very proud of myself. Yeah. I, yeah, but my orchid, my orchid is she, she's sad.

Kira: If you can see her over my shoulder, she's, she's not looking happy. 

Mary: Yeah, she's not looking happy. No, 

Kira: I, I don't, I got her as a gift and you know, that one might be more hard to deal with than, uh, the fiddly fig. 

Mary: But, uh, orchids are rough. Orchids are, they're very, they're very temperamental and they're very well, they're very, they're very delicate, 

Kira: very delicate, very, and the pot is very, has to be very specific.

Kira: And the pots that they come in, like if you get 'em at the store as a gift for somebody, is not the pot that it really needs to be in. Like it's, uh, needs to be in this super aerated, you know, situation. And so I was about to invest in a whole orchid care, you know, system. And, uh, but if she can't make it.

Kira: Through, through the weekend. I don't know what to tell her. Yeah. Oh 

Mary: yeah. Through just one weekend? 

Kira: No, she's actually, I've had her since my surgery, but I, so I don't, I don't know what I've done [00:07:00] differently, but she don't like it. What's, whatever. So you, 

Mary: do you usually abandon her on the weekends or do you usually check on her on the weekends?

Kira: She's abandoned on the weekends, but also she, you only have to water her like once a week. 

Mary: Oh. So, but maybe, maybe you should have like checked in on her, called her FaceTimed her. No. 

Kira: You know, if she had, if she was that upset, she should have texted me.

Mary: That's fair. That's fair. Because of course she has her own phone or kids not come with her own cell. She's right here by the computer. I mean, I, come on, I see her. Yeah. I mean, she's in, yeah, she's right there. She hears us. Um, well, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry, little Orchid. Does it have a name? 

Kira: Well, she was going to, but now I don't, now I now I'm worried she's gonna die.

Kira: The fiddly fig guy named Jeremy. I don't know why. 

Mary: Okay, okay. Okay. All right. I don't, I don't 

Kira: know why, but his name is Jeremy and that's just what came to me when I was deciding actually, the Planty, uh, GPT was like, would you like to give him a name? And I was like, yeah, [00:08:00] Jeremy. 

Mary: There you go. Mm-hmm. Just came out naturally.

Mary: Yeah. 

Kira: Yeah. He just looks like a Jeremy. Uh, but yeah, I don't know if you can gender a fiddly fig, but I did. 

Mary: Might as well. And you know, who's to say Jeremy's not necessarily a boy name. Gimme a girl name. No. 

Kira: Uh, the other thing, the other big addition to my life is, uh, I got, I finally, I finally made good on my annual, on my annual threat to get my nose pierced on my birthday.

Kira: And I finally did it this year. You 

Mary: did? How's it going? It looks great. I love it. Coin great. I think it's great. Great. 

Kira: Can't feel it. Like not, I mean, like. I have been so worried about like the Healing Pro, like part of what's kept me from not doing it is that it's gonna be like difficult to heal and it's gonna look stupid and I'm gonna have to be in front of people and I'm gonna have this weird problem.

Kira: And, uh, I mean it hurt to get it like, like, 'cause you're poking a hole in your body, but it hurt for like five minutes and it hasn't really hurt since. 

Mary: I love it. 

Kira: I, I mean, I can't recommend it enough. If you're like on the fence about getting your [00:09:00] nose pierced, highly recommend really not a big deal. I've had way worse pain.

Kira: I. 

Mary: Well, I, yeah, and I think you said after breaking your foot, you feel like you're invincible now. You're like that, that was like, you're like, if I can break my foot and survive, I can pierce my nose. Right? Yeah. 

Kira: Yeah. Um, this year is a, I don't normally do the word you, you always do a word. I don't know that I have a word, but, um, I could, if I did, it would be control, right?

Kira: Like I need, I feel like. I feel like I have a, I've had a lack of control over so many things in my life in the last, 

Mary: right. 

Kira: I don't know, eight months, you know, which you have. '

Mary: cause you have, 

Kira: yeah. And I feel, and now even with like, what's going on in the world, what's going on in the us and you know, it's just, I feel so out of control both personally, you know, sometimes with business, sometimes, you know, just really outta control and I thought, you know, and then the foot break.

Mary: Yeah, I was 

Kira: very outta control and then I was very helpless [00:10:00] for a bit and so now I'm just felt like, you know, there's nothing really stopping me from getting this dumb, no nose piercing that I've threatened my whole life to get. 

Mary: Right. Just 

Kira: go get it. And nobody can tell you you can't, and nobody like, and you know, and it's, you know, it's my body do as thing that I want.

Kira: I, I love 

Mary: it. I, I agree. And I think it looks great. It's really cute. It looks perfect on you. Um, I, I don't know that it's like, I don't know that you have to have a certain type of face or whatever to pierce your nose, but I feel like yours, it works really perfect for you. Like, it looks really cute. I don't think it would be as cute.

Mary: It, I, I don't see myself, I, I've never wanted one. Um, so that, there's that, but then there's that. I, yeah, there's that, but then I just don't. It just doesn't like, I don't know, like I've also, like, at one time I had an extra hole in my ear and then I got rid of it. Like, I'm also not one that ever wanted a bunch of earrings, but like my, one of my, several of my friends have [00:11:00] like several holes in the little, all the stuff.

Mary: And it looks so cute. I love it. But it's just, you know, it's not for me. I guess it's like tattoos, right? Like tattoos aren't for everybody. So 

Kira: I only have, I only have one ear piercing on both sides. Yeah. And then, you know, I don't think I'll ever get up to high parts either, because I mean, I. That, that's, that's like if I lay on it like the worst pain is ear pain to me.

Kira: Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I just, I don't think I could ever, I, that one I am too scared to do. But, um, yeah, this one, and Lucy totally ratted me out to my parents about it. She did? Yeah. Yeah. She, she, she stayed with my parents on Friday night and, um, oh, she, uh, uh, I guess my brother told me that Lucy told.

Kira: My dad. Oh, that I got a nose piercing or whatever, you know? And so, uh, he was, he was, you know, you know John? Yeah. He doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't love these things, anything. Yeah. You know, we'll change, you know, that kind of change. Yeah. And, um, but then I sent, I was like, well, I [00:12:00] heard Lucy ratted me out, so I sent a picture and he was like, well, it actually looks.

Kira: It actually looks pretty. 

Mary: Oh, that's high praise. Yeah, that's pretty, that's pretty high praise from John. I'm gonna be honest. I didn't expect that. That's wow. All right. 

Kira: Yeah. How progressive of John? I'm very, I mean, he's very progressive, but he, 

Mary: he is in a lot of ways, but he isn't right. Like, I mean, he is incredibly progressive and in all the ways that matter.

Mary: To most of us. Yeah. But, um, but, uh, like, like when y'all got your tattoos, he was not as progressive. That was 

Kira: Oh, he was not, no, he was very convinced that we were just trying to trick him that we had fake tattoos on. Um, but no, he was less progressive. But he's warmed, he's warmed to that as well. You know, I, I think he still thinks it's stupid.

Kira: Um, 

Mary: but yeah, that's fine. He can think it's stupid all day long. That's totally fine. 

Kira: Yeah, and that's the thing, guys, if it doesn't affect you, like shut up. I mean, in general, like I saw a TikTok this morning of, um. Of a woman yelling at a UPS guy because he had a nose [00:13:00] piercing and you couldn't, you can't see the UPS, you can't see his face.

Kira: So I don't know what kind of nose piercing it was, but she was just like, why would you do that? Why? What? You know? And he was like, I'm, I'm so sorry, but how does this, how is it, does this offend you? She goes, no, I'm not offended. I just wanna know why you would do something like that. And he's like, well, I don't, I don't really feel like I need to explain it to you.

Kira: Yeah, I'm, I'm sorry it bothers you. Oh, no, no, no. It doesn't bother me. You know, it was just this weird. Yeah, I don't know if she was trying to get him, you know, um, but shame him. Shame him, you know, for doing that. But yeah, if it doesn't, how does it affect you? I think that's, we always need to like, take a minute when we get real upset.

Kira: There are a lot of things to be upset about that do affect you, you know? Yeah. Like right now, especially, but like sometimes if somebody does something like get a tattoo or. Body piercing or have an abortion? Jesus, 

Mary: you know, sorry. Well, just things that don't affect you, just, I don't know. How does this affect you?

Mary: I mean, and look, and look in all fairness, some [00:14:00] things that don't affect me, but might affect someone I love or affect someone I might love in the future. Like if I, I'm blessed enough to have grandchildren one day or whatever, or you know, I mean, first of all. I should be able to believe what I wanna believe.

Mary: And then second of all, you know what? So should you, quite frankly, so should you, that's fine respect, but it's the keep your mouth, just keep it to yourself. Like, I'm not gonna go out and shame someone either way. Right? Like, yeah. However, if you come at me, then, then we write it down. Like, then we're, then it's done.

Mary: Like, if you come at me about something I believe in, then on my, in my space, then we're, then we're gonna chitchat about it. But other than that, I try to stay quiet. I really do. I stay in my own little space. I don't go, I'm not one that's gonna be like this lady and, you know, berate somebody who could, you know what I did?

Mary: It's just, that's not my business. Um, you know, I I I stay in my little, my little bubble, so to speak. Ish. Well, 

Kira: yeah, I do too. You know. I do too. 

Mary: Hey, 

Kira: um, Mary, we are going to have to pause this podcast because I just received a [00:15:00] tornado seek shelter warning on my phone. Holy moly. So, yeah, so why don't we pause for potential impending natural disaster and we will, we can be right back after that is over.

Kira: All right, I'm gonna, we're gonna pause and, um, fingers 

Mary: crossed we'll be back. 

Kira: All right. And are back. Just, you know, regular Florida experience. Everybody's safe. 

Mary: Everybody's, everything's fine. 

Kira: Good old Southern storm. 

Mary: Yeah. Gave me time to, um, take my dog, uh, out and, uh, get him some water and eat a piece of avocado toast.

Kira: Yeah, I was, uh, uh, sheltering in place in my bathroom at the studio, and I ate a, a Bel Vita. Uh. Breakfast bar. Yeah. As we do. As we do, because I thought if the tornado hits the studio, I'm, I would hate to be hungry as well, so, [00:16:00] 

Mary: right, because that would do die hungry. That would be terrible. That don't be, 

Kira: you don't, you don't wanna go through a natural disaster on an empty stomach.

Kira: I, I just. I feel strongly about it. 

Mary: Me too, 

Kira: and 

Mary: I've never thought about it before, but now I do feel very strongly about it. Actually. If you 

Kira: have the time, just get a little sneaky snack. 

Mary: Well, you might as well. I mean, you're sitting there doing nothing else. You know, so you might as well eat as they say.

Kira: Yeah. Lucy was texting me, uh, also, oh, um, and 'cause she's at the high school, our, the high school here is like the oldest high school in the state of Florida. It's, it's solid as a rock. This, this ancient building. And, uh, so I'm, she, I'm more confident she's safer there than anywhere in the city. 

Mary: Oh yeah. Um.

Kira: Uh, but um, but she was in the cafeteria and she was a little worried 'cause her phone went off. Everybody's phones went off. Oh 

Mary: yeah, of course. I think it's so interesting that she can text from school. 

Kira: Uh, yeah, they can text from school. I don't think they're supposed to. Oh. But [00:17:00] she just seems to find ways sometimes to text me from school.

Kira: But, and then I was telling, texting Kevin, uh, if he knew where the, the tornado had touched down, and he was like, it's just a, it's just a watch. And I was like, no, I, I've received a, I've, I've received a warning. On my phone that says to take cover, he goes, no, mine just says watch. I'm like, well, I don't know what to tell you.

Kira: I will, I, I will not be gaslit into thinking that there was not a tornado. Apparently there one, one in West Tallahassee touchdown, but I don't think anything happened. 

Mary: Okay, so that was scary. The morning. It is scary. My, um, my son lives in Nashville, baby Jacks and uh, they had a really bad one last week and guess he knows that I have insomnia and my mother has insomnia.

Mary: Even though it was 3:00 AM he texted the group chat just to say, yes, I know there's a tornado, there's a, you know, there's a watch. Yes, we are sheltered in place. Yes, we are the dogs and Gracie and I are fine. Yes. I'll keep you posted. And um, [00:18:00] thank goodness because I woke up from a dead sleep and.

Mary: Immediately knew something was wrong, check. And so anyway, it was just, my mom and I both are texting at, you know, 3, 2 50, 3, 4, you know, and everything was fine. And then, then it went to Louisville, where, which is where Terry lives and my goddaughter and all. So anyway, um, crazy thing. This weekend, my goddaughter.

Mary: Um, one of my, my actual, the one that was actually asked that I have lots of chosen God goddaughters that I you do, made myself their goddaughter, the godmother. Mm-hmm. Um, I call myself my fairy godmother, whether it's Lucy. Yeah, I was gonna say more of a fairy fairy godmother. Yes. Yes. Um, uh, Lucy or little baby Lauren Audra, my, on my little fairy godchildren.

Mary: However, Katie, um, is a senior in high school and I'm so proud of her. She's like, she applied to a lot of like great schools. Got into everyone. Only one, um, did she get a deferment from their 

Kira: loss? Absolute. She's a hot commodity. 

Mary: There she is. Um, but [00:19:00] this little stinker had avoided social media. Her whole teen, her whole life, like for the first time in her life, entered social media land.

Mary: I. How does she, how does she feel about it? She's not sure. She doesn't like social media 'cause she doesn't like the fact that people can tag you or be mean or you know, she just didn't wanna be in that drama. She does not do drama. You know how, like I say, I don't like adult drama. She doesn't do any drama, like girl does, does no drama.

Mary: Since 

Kira: she was, I think I met her and she was like 11. When I met her or whatever, uh, she probably was a, yeah, probably around 11. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, that, that has been a fully grown adult woman who has zero Fs to give for drama. 

Mary: None, uh, 

Kira: since, since childhood. 

Mary: Yep. Um, and mm-hmm. Uh, yeah. And I mean, honestly, Terry is not a.

Mary: So real, but I mean, Terry played in some drama, like she could pretend like she's so drama free, but she, she's not, uh, I don't know man. Katie has none. And so she, [00:20:00] she went to Instagram. She would not do Facebook. She's on Instagram. And um, it was so cute. And she used the picture, the picture from, we were in New York, um.

Mary: Remember the ones we took outside of the stadium. Mm-hmm. Um, we all went to a Yankees game several years ago, and I, I kidnapped Katie and took her with me. And, um, so she used that and of course I had to go, uh, great image compliments of your Mimi. And of course then she had that, like, I had to throw myself in the ring there as I do.

Mary: Mm-hmm. Um, mm-hmm. But it was so cute. So she, uh, joined social media and I think she did it because she needs to start with connecting with people, um, at the school she's gonna choose, which I don't know that that's been announced yet, so I'm not even. Positive, which one it is. Um, so about finding a roommate and stuff like that.

Mary: And I guess, I guess someone said, look girl, if you're not even on social media, they're look weird. They're gonna think you're really creepy. And that a shame that like she actually had to join something. She had resisted. Because if she didn't, then other kids might think she's so weird that they wouldn't wanna be a around.

Kira: So the opposite of when I was going into like a, like the job [00:21:00] market for example. Yeah. I remember like, everyone's like, God, just be careful. You know? Like make sure you lock up your social media and don't let anybody see any fun, fun college days, pictures, or whatever. Because like, but now, yeah, it's like if you don't have one, not crazy wild pictures or anything, but you know, like.

Mary: Right. It's kind of nuts. It's a very different world. Very, very different world. But anyway, very different world. 

Kira: Well, 

Mary: yeah. 

Kira: Well, good. Good for her. Yes. I, um, I, uh, I am interested though, in there's, uh, nothing makes you feel older than like finding out that you don't know something about social media. Um, yeah.

Kira: Like right now. And, uh, I watched, we were just talking about, you and I were catching up on all our shows that you were watching and I was watching, um, adolescents, which I know I won't spoil anything. And I won't except for this one thing there in this, they identify the use of emojis. Like all these emojis have different meanings.

Kira: Like I know what some emojis mean, you know what I mean? But like, evidently there is, there's a, a whole other language. [00:22:00] In emoji. Oh, I that, 

Mary: yeah, 

Kira: that, that you can't even, like, so people are bullying people on social media with use of emojis that other kids know what they mean. But like, if you were a, a, an adult or a parent or whatever, and you went and looked at it, you wouldn't understand.

Kira: It would look like they were just. Friends. Now, I don't know how true this is 'cause it's, I saw it on a TV show. 

Mary: Right. 

Kira: But I was just like, oh my god. That's like, that's like a very subversive language that kids can use to communicate with each other. 

Mary: Yeah. It's, it's pretty scary. You are making faces. Is it because I'm 

Kira: making a face?

Kira: Because it just got really loud outside. Oh, 

Mary: okay. We can't hear it here, obviously. Um, no, I'm Storms are storming over there. 

Kira: Yeah. Just, you know, carry on. I am, uh, just looking outside. Make sure there's not a tornado in my backyard. Yep. I'm good. 

Mary: Okay. Well if we, well, if you lose Kira, we'll know. We'll, we'll all have been.

Mary: It'll be live. 

Kira: Okay, [00:23:00] so Kevin's like, why are you freaking out about the storm? I'm like, I, 

Mary: I'm not, is it got a name already? Is it like one of those kind of storms? 

Kira: Mm-hmm. No, it's just, it's a severe thunderstorm that has tornado activity. Activity. Okay. So. 

Mary: All right. You know. Well, it's noisy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the weather, weather will do that to you.

Mary: Um, so what's going on? Tell me what's going on with your, what's, what's going on at work? Let's talk about work.

Kira: Well, I just actually got, um, I just booked, uh, somewhere in between tornado warning and coming back on, uh, I just booked a, a magazine shoot for a magazine I haven't worked for, uh, like a big Florida magazine. Okay. So I'm kind of, I'm kind of excited about that. Um, so it was a little under, under budget and Okay, so this is, this is a good idea.

Kira: So to talk about, 'cause this literally just happened. Okay. So they proposed a [00:24:00] budget for a, uh, a shoot to, to photograph some important individuals. Ill leave it at that for right now. Okay. Right. Okay. Um, some important individuals in the state of Florida and, uh. But, and you know, they had a specific date and time where those people are gonna be at somewhere for a meeting.

Kira: Okay. And they said, um, the budget is $500 and possibly more for a cover. 

Mary: Okay. Now 

Kira: magazine work really doesn't pay well and you know what I mean? It just doesn't. And, and I kind of like heavy sigh on it. And then I wrote him back and I was like, well, I'm, I am available. This is a bit under budget for what I normally do.

Kira: And he immediately came back and raised the budget. You know. Interesting. Yeah. It is not a lot of work, you know what I mean? As far as it's a, it's a group of people. It's probably like one to two group photos and like three individual shots, you know? Okay. So it's not anything, it's not an all day gig or anything like that.

Kira: It is a location shoot. So, um, and it's one that I didn't have, you know, five minutes ago, [00:25:00] and it's for a new magazine, so it's kind of like, okay, how hard ball do you play here? When it's not necessarily, it's still a little under budget for what you'd like to haul all your equipment out and do it, but there's a potential to have an the cover.

Kira: It's not about exposure. So let me just stop before I say that. There's a potential to have a cover of a statewide magazine that's, that's a big deal that could lead to other stuff in for that magazine, right? 

Mary: Right. 

Kira: So how much of a fuss do you make over what is arguably an easy job? Right? Not quite as much money as you'd like to make to do it.

Kira: Right. Do, do you hold your, do you know? I mean, I've, I've accepted it so, we'll, I'll cut to the end here. You know, I said, okay, that's great. We can, we'll make this happen, but how much do you weigh 

Mary: here? Well, okay. You know what I mean? Yeah. So this is the thing. So whatever. This has been my, okay, this has been my, just my what I think, what I believe or my experience, maybe whatever you've accepted, [00:26:00] it's gonna be hard to get out of.

Mary: So whatever you accept, you need to be willing to accept for the next several jobs. 

Kira: Right. And if it were the same, like the same scope here, right. And then I would say that's fine. I mean, we're talking, it's a, it's a good hourly rate when you come down to it for the amount of time it takes. Okay. Magazine work is good because it's not like they need 15 photos.

Kira: You know what I mean? They need like four, which is also why they never have a huge budget for it. You know? 'cause it's kind of like, okay, well we only need like three photos. Right? Okay. But this is also doing all the storytelling for your article. So it has to have a, a value on it. Right? It cannot be just, you can't count it as three images.

Kira: Here you go. Here's Okay. Some dollars. You know what I mean? Okay. 'cause it's, it is doing such a, a big, um, service for your magazine to have. I mean, you can't just have it all but have words. 

Mary: No, that's Abso Absolutely. They have to have it. Right. They have to have it. So, so [00:27:00] they're 

Kira: very reliant. They're gonna be very reliant on, on the photography for both the cover, for the, um, inside feature articles and all that.

Kira: So, but yeah, I agree with you. Am I okay with taking that amount on the next job they offer me? Correct. A couple of factors there. How hard were they to work with? Right? That's fair. Right? Like, 'cause if it's less money than you'd like to make, and they're a pain in the butt. 

Mary: Right. 

Kira: The good news is, is you can always pass on the next one.

Mary: Correct. 

Kira: Right. 

Mary: Correct. 

Kira: But if they're easy to work with, the money's a little better than the first offer. And the jobs are small, I'd be okay with it. 

Mary: Okay. Then that's you, you know what I mean? That's the thing. Like, um, it's so funny you bring this up about a magazine because we had such a great thing going a couple, I dunno if it was last year or the year before, um, where we had worked a deal with a, it was a very, very local, local, like almost like a neighborhood type magazine, but very much a pocket of where we wanted to be.

Mary: And we had worked a deal where we would do the [00:28:00] cover. And we were doing that thing, the exposure angle, but we got to pick the people. Mm-hmm. And we sold to every one of 'em. And those covers were dynamite. They were gorgeous. Um, like the magazine was thrilled. They were so happy they couldn't, you know, blah, blah, blah.

Mary: We were happy, everybody's happy, happy, happy, happy. Um, and then as happens in these little tiny publications. The editor or whoever changed because I don't think those people get paid a lot of money who run those little magazines. Um, and they were their sister-in-law's, a photographer, you know, it's one of those things and they wanted to change the scope of and all.

Mary: We're like, fine. Bye. Like, you're good. We, this is the deal. This is the contract we had. We will, you let it, you know, if you're, you will let, we'll, we'll nullify the contract. No problem. You know, we're, we're not gonna do it your way. We're not gonna, you're not gonna pick and we're gonna, and one, I guess their latest edition just came out and the image popped up in my feed on social media.

Mary: It is so bad, like. [00:29:00] I wouldn't pick this up anywhere. Like the image is just so, so, so, so bad. And every, every month I see it get worse and worse. And the funny thing is, is that. Jamie just texted me that they had reached out and I'm like, mm-hmm. I bet they did. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because it's, it looks like garbage.

Mary: Like what people don't understand about quality images, especially if you're trying at this point to sell a publication, and I don't care if it's an online publication or a printed publication specifically for printed, but if you want someone to go past the front page. 

Kira: It is gotta have a wow. Cover it.

Kira: It's gotta have, it gotta add some quality 

Mary: to it, you know, and covers the 

Kira: cover has to have some impact. And, and print is so hard now. Mm-hmm. You know, to, I mean, yeah. I, I, I love a physically printed magazine and as a photographer, it's, it. It's kind of, it just, it feels good to have your, if you're a commercial photographer and you're working as a commercial photographer, it's like, okay, and my work is here and here and here, so you just feel, it makes you feel like I'm doing the thing, you know?

Kira: Right. Um, [00:30:00] but, uh, but yeah, I mean, it could be, uh, I, I remember, and this was, um, so long ago, very early in my career, um, when I started doing, uh, uh, covers for a magazine and we were trading. Um, like, kinda like you, like there was a a mutual benefit Yeah. To, to trade, but they, the shoots were getting really difficult.

Kira: They were, there were a lot of people on set every single time and they were taking almost all day and they were letting them get my hair and makeup done here, and I was just like, this is just not worth it. So after about like five issues, I was like, you know. Thank you so much. Uh, I can't trade anymore, but I can, here's my, here's what it'll cost to do this, you know?

Kira: And, um, and they said, we understand. Thank you so much. We just have such a limited budget. We're gonna find somebody else. Okay. Yeah. Like, you know, and you have to be okay with, like, walking away from it. At, at that point, um, they found somebody else. And, uh, and I have no idea who this, who it was to this day, but, um, they found somebody else and, um.

Kira: Ended up shooting it and then having [00:31:00] to come back to me and ask me to shoot it again. Um, because they, the person that they photographed just clearly did not understand 

Mary: posing, right. 

Kira: Like posing, posing to flatter women in, in particular. And so they were, um, really unhappy with how little the guy knew about doing that or whatever.

Kira: And so they ended up having a. Totally reshoot it, you know? And, um, and that's embarrassing. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. So sometimes, you know, but, uh, but since then, I mean, I've worked for them, I don't know, 104 times, a lot, a lot. You know? Um, so, you know, it just kinda, you have to set your boundaries where your boundaries are.

Kira: Like, I like this. For me, I think we're, with this newer client, we're gonna be kind of, this is a test run for both of us. Right? Right. Like, do they like working with me? Do we, you know, do I like working with them? Kind of thing. And is it going to be a good collaborative experience? Yeah. 'cause with you've got art directors that you're dealing with, which I [00:32:00] actually like having on, on set.

Kira: I really like it when we have an engaged art director, um, because I know I'm getting what it is. You, you are. Your idea was like, you know what I mean? Like you're the art director, you had a vision for these people coming together. And I know that I'm not gonna leave the shoot until this person is here and sees it and is happy.

Kira: So I, I think so. Sometimes people are like, oh, I don't like it when the client is on site. Like, you know, and I, I like them looking at the monitor and saying, okay, that works. That's what we're hoping for, you know? 'cause I don't know. That's a good confirmation for me. Um, 

Mary: but yeah. Yeah. No, IGI agree. I, I like working with an art director too specifically because it's their fault if it's not right.

Mary: Like it's, you know, I mean, I'm so, I'm sorry, but that's just the way it goes. I mean mm-hmm. If you're paying for a stylist or an art director, it's their job to make sure that I, that, you know, they're looking at the, you know, the laptop or they're looking at the iPad, they're looking at the image, and they're approving it before we move forward.

Mary: It's not on me like. I prefer it. Um, I know some people don't, but I do like, well, [00:33:00] I 

Kira: also, I also like knowing what your vision is so that I can, I can shoot for it. I mean it, you know, if your vision is that you need a big horizontal spread, so you have a bunch of tech space over here, then you know, it's good to know that during the shoot.

Kira: Right, or right before it or whatever, you know, so that we can shoot it wider or I can place things, you know, heavy set right, or heavy set left, you know, so I know that you're gonna be, I just, I need to share the vision, you know, with me, right? Because at that point, when there's an art directory, it's usually they've hired you because they need.

Kira: You to match the aesthetic that they're trying to go for. 

Mary: No, that, that's great. Yeah, exactly. And they're, they should know, um, they should obviously know, right? They should know what it, the vision is. 'cause I mean, you've got some of the information, but you don't have all the information. They should have all the information.

Mary: That's their actual job, right? 

Kira: Yes. Yes. So please look over my shoulder. I, that's, that is actually one of the main benefits of, of tethering too. When you do these commercial jobs, they, they do come to expect it. I think too, like if you are [00:34:00] working with an agency that has. You know, an art director on site or, or an advertising firm or something that's been hired, like you invoke so much more confidence with them when you can show them what you're getting, when you're, when you're getting it.

Kira: Um, and it's helpful anyway. It's helpful for me. It's helpful part of my process anyway. 

Mary: I like that. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So, so this is a new, um, this is a new, this is a new mag or you have worked with them before or It's a first person. Okay. Never worked with them before. Okay. Never 

Kira: worked with them before.

Kira: Somewhat Famous magazine in, in Florida, and, um. So, you know, I'm, I'm excited for the opportunity, but I'm also like, I'm gonna protect, we're gonna, we're, we're, we're on, we're dating. Yeah. Me and this client are dating. You know, 'cause it could potentially be a lot more work. Right? Or it could be that it's a one-off, but you know it either way.

Kira: It's good to find out. You know, it's good to, it's good to, to find out. I think dating commercial clients is okay. I agree 

Mary: on both sides by the way. [00:35:00] Because Yeah. I mean, you know, as, as unlikely as it is, um, you know, it, it could end up that, um, you know, they don't like your style. You know what I mean? Or that, or they don't, their, their stylist doesn't enjoy working with you or whatever.

Mary: I mean, that just, that happens unfortunately. 

Kira: Mm-hmm. And I'm, you know, I'm old and set in my ways now at 44 Mary. Yeah, 

Mary: there you go. And so, you 

Kira: know, it could be that I'm just too, I'm too, I'm too fixed, you know, in my, 

Mary: I doubt that. Um, 

Kira: I, I'd say I'm fairly assertive in a po in a positive way on a, on a set with what I need.

Kira: You know what I mean? Like as far as like Right. I don't love a lot of people there. You know, I, I don't, I don't love a lot of cooks. I mean, I know who does. 

Mary: That's true. 

Kira: You know, but if you point me to the person who is the, who is the head chef, I can be the sous chef. You know what I mean? Like, I can, I can do that.

Kira: As long as there's not five head chefs. 

Mary: Well, exactly. I mean Exactly. That's the thing. Too many cooks is a, it's a real, it's a saying for a reason. Right. It's a, it's [00:36:00] an abs and it's absolutely true. Um. Mm-hmm. You know, it's no different, honestly, guys, than if we're photographing. Um, a photographing a, a family and you have the neighbor or the aunt or someone on the sidelines constantly putting in their input or you're trying to photograph the kids and mom or dad are constantly, constantly, constantly, constantly giving their input.

Mary: I mean, it's, that's, that's just as annoying. It's the same thing, whether it's a commercial job, a, a portrait, portrait job, whatever it is, I think, um. I think that that could happen in a lot of situations. Um mm-hmm. And it's a balance. I mean, because obviously just like a commercial client, I mean, we want to do what our portrait or commercial client wants, but we also have to have that space to create.

Mary: And that, and that's a, that's a little bit of a. I don't know. That's a little bit of a balance that honestly I never really thought about, but it is, I, it's, it's really no different than a commercial job. I mean, because you Yeah, because you, they, they have to love what you create. This magazine has to love what you create.

Mary: Same thing as my client on [00:37:00] Sunday. You know, they have to love what I created of the family, but I also wanna, you know. I want it to be mine, but I have to, I don't know. I mean, I really, what's the, how do you, yeah. How do we do that? I was 

Kira: gonna say, what's the difference? Because like, I would, NI would, I would, uh, buck up against like a family session where they brought a bunch of props in and it was just not my thing.

Kira: Correct. You know what I mean? Like, I would feel very out of c coming back to control, which was before the tornado, which was very outta control. Um, yeah. Couldn't really, couldn't have timed that better. Um, but, uh. You know, if we talk about control, I would feel very out of control if I have a family session client dictating to me what the style of the shoot should be, or the editing of the shoot should be like.

Kira: Oh. Like if somebody came to me and said, I want a bunch of dark moody family portraits. It's just not what, why would you want that from me? Right. You know what I mean? Because that's not what I, that's not what I do, you know? But at the same, the same side. If I get a commercial client that's like, Hey, we have this product and we want it to be photographed in this [00:38:00] way, it needs to have this aesthetic and this mood and this whatever, and I'm shown a storyboard for it or something.

Kira: It does. It's not about what my style is at that point. It's, I'm serving a different audience here. Right? Right. Like I would, so how, but, but at some point I have to go, I don't think I'm the right photographer for this. If they're just really going for something that doesn't make sense for what I do. You know?

Kira: I mean, I don't know what that would be in the commercial realm. 

Mary: I don't, yeah, that's true. No, but I guess. Well, that's true. I mean, and we do, every once in a while have people that'll call and they'll say, oh, we wanna do, for example, newborns, we wanna do the newborns, and we wanted to do the, this, the, all the stuff that we just don't do, don't do.

Mary: And we'll say, I'm I, I love that for you. Love that journey for you. That's not what we do. Um, yeah, no, I mean, and we'll just be very upfront with that. Yeah. That, that's not what we're gonna do. Um, so I guess you just kind of nip that in the bud at the beginning. I think the, the, the problem that a lot of people run into is they don't, [00:39:00] they don't establish those boundaries.

Mary: They're just so excited to get a call and get people in the door that they don't, um. They don't know upfront, like they don't, you know what I mean? Or they're, or they're willing to do whatever to make people happy. I, I don't know this for sure. I'm just guessing here. 

Kira: Well, and I also, you know, I, I would distinguish, uh, an art director who works for an agency or a magazine or a publishing company to have a level of experience that I would expect their input to be valuable.

Kira: Like they're, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, they're gonna, they're gonna come to you with, this is the idea we had and our team had, and we need you to execute it. Versus like, if a family client comes to me and said. Me and my team have gotten together. Right. Just like, it's just, so that doesn't happen that way.

Kira: 'cause I'm trying to figure out why I would say no to, if a, if a family asked me to do something that it's not what I do versus a commercial client. And I think that the thing is, is that I'm the head chef on the family session. You know what I mean? Like I am, I'm not part of a [00:40:00] production team at that point.

Kira: This I'm the artist. Yeah. Right. And then in my commercial times, I sometimes think of myself as part of a team. If, if there is a team. I mean, not on headshot shoots, you know that, but, but you know, as far as publications go and advertising goes, 

Mary: no, that makes sense. I mean, that makes sense. I guess I'm trying to, I'm trying to think too, but I'm, I'm struggling as well.

Mary: I mean, definitely you have people come around that want things that you don't do. Like that definitely happens right in our. In our portrait. Mm-hmm. Like, um, and I, I, I would love to know, and I can't because we, you know, 'cause this is a podcast and this is an interactive situation happening here, but I would love to know how many people would just do it anyway.

Mary: Like, they would just, they would find the props or say bring the props in or whatever, and do it anyway. And maybe a lot of people would, I, I don't, I don't know the answer to that. I know I would not. Um, if 

Kira: you're hung, if you're hungry and you're versatile Yeah. You know, and you can, and you feel like you can do anything.

Kira: But you're trying to get your foot in the door. I mean, I can see people saying yes to [00:41:00] that, but most of the time they would be trying something new for the client. Yeah. And that doesn't always go well, you know what I mean? Agreed. I mean, how do you, how do you know that you can pull that off? I, I, I'm trying to think of what that aesthetic would be, but, you know.

Kira: Yeah. I don't know. Sometimes it could just fall apart, right? 

Mary: Well, absolutely. And it's like we don't mm-hmm. You know, we don't photograph, um, newborns or babies outside unless they're one years old, unless of course it's with the large family that somebody's holding the baby or something like that. And I have had people be like, well, I wonder, you know, we wanna photograph the baby outside in this bath.

Mary: And I'm like, yeah, no, I don't, I don't do that. Um, and I won't, who's the star of this show? The baby or the, or, or the scene. And I just don't do that. And that's okay. I know there are people that do, and they should go find those people. And I'm not trying to be. Rude. It's just I don't like it and I just don't wanna deal with it and I just don't do it.

Mary: So, um, I don't know. But there is situations where, um, or for [00:42:00] example, um, okay, this is an example. Lemme put this one out there. So you're photographing a high school senior and um, mom is there, or stepmom is there, dad, whatever. And they want you to do something that you feel like is overly sexualized or too sexy or not your style.

Mary: For a young lady, for a high school senior. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Someone over under the age of 18. 

Kira: Right. 

Mary: How would you handle that? 

Kira: Oh, um, I would, I would probably say I don't wanna make that parent feel judged or, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, I don't wanna 

Mary: Right. 

Kira: You know, but I would probably be like, oh, you know, I love that idea.

Kira: Let's just. Pull the, pull the top up a little bit more or like, I don't know, like, 'cause I, I have been in that situation where the top is coming down like too low and the parent is like, kind of like adjusting, you know, the trying to tell the person how to pose the kid, how to pose or whatever, you know, I'm just like, uh, how do, what would I say, what would I say to that?

Kira: That parent Uhhuh, I'd [00:43:00] probably be like, oh wow, she looks like 25 years old when you do that. Or something like that. Like maybe, maybe something that's like, do we want her to look 25 years old or do we want her to look. 17. You know, 

Mary: like, I don't know. I, I don't wanna, um, yeah, that's what I'm asking. I mean, it's like, yeah, it's a tough one.

Mary: 'cause you don't wanna shame someone, obviously. But No, um, I mean, I would feel like they would know by my work and everything they've seen in mind that I don't do that style. But if they came in and that's what they wanted, I, I would feel very uncomfortable. I would feel very uncomfortable because it's, you're there, it's too late.

Mary: Right. Yeah. Even if we failed, we've done a great job. They understand your brand, they understand what you do. It's too late. Like it's too late. You're there every, we're all there together now we're all there. And it's like, oh, could you just do this? Could you? And I, I, I would, I don't know what I do. I think I would just, I would freeze.

Mary: Like I, I, I, 

Kira: well, that's what I just did when you asked. I was like, oh, what would I do? Because luckily that hasn't [00:44:00] happened. You know, like Right. If any, if anything. Yeah. No, not if anything I, it is not happened, you know? Um, to me, so that's good. Yeah. But yeah, I guess in that situation you'd have to use your best judgment and just be like, yeah, I love that idea.

Kira: How about this? You shoot it and then you move on to the next pose and quickly. Know what I mean? Like, there have been times where a pose does not work. I've definitely been in a situation where I'm being dictated to by somebody on the set, uh, about how they should pose, about how the, you know, oh, however, do this, or here, you know, Jane, can you put your hip out this way?

Kira: Or Can you do this, or whatever. And they, and they pose the client because they're being really pushy and then it does not work. And I shoot it like once or twice, right? And then I go, okay, so now what we're gonna do, Jane, is we're gonna turn you this way. We're gonna, you know, and I try to like. Then we never see it.

Mary: Correct. You 

Kira: know, like we never see that. So I mean, I guess one method could be like, shoot it real quick and then just never show it. 

Mary: Yeah. I guess. I mean, you kind of were [00:45:00] stuck. I mean, yeah. You know, because they're the parent of the child. The child's a minor. Um, I don't know. I just, I've never really thought and thank goodness a knock on, you know, it's never happened and, um, but I imagine it does sometimes.

Mary: I mean, I feel like I've actually heard stories from different, you know, students and things along the way where they like, you know, mom really wanted it to be, you know, like there was that trend at one point where they would put the senior in the bikini and then have the water falling on 'em. I'm like, do you remember that?

Mary: That's not been that long ago. Yeah, I remember 

Kira: that. I remember that. There's been several, like, no 

Mary: way in hell was that ever happening in my studio. And, um. And nobody ever asked for it at my studio, honestly. Um, but uh, if it had, it would've, I would've abs I would've absolutely said no. That was an easy one.

Mary: No, I don't have the ability to do that, which I don't like. That's not a thing that's gonna happen. And, and I'm not judging if you do, I'm just saying like, there's just certain boundaries that I have that I don't think I would be able to do. Um, and if I were stuck in this, you know, moment, [00:46:00] oh, I know. For example, I was working with one of my, one of my consulting clients, and they had a wedding, and it was that weird trend where either all the grooms would turn around like they were peeing.

Mary: I don't know if you remember this. 

Kira: Oh, I do remember that trend. That's awful. Yeah. 

Mary: Or there was another one with the groomsman or the bridesmaids. And because of the, were they all jumping? Yeah. They were doing something and this, and this poor client, she's like, and they just on the spot asked, oh, take this picture.

Mary: It'll be funny. Yuck, yuck, yuck. And she's like, I was mortified, but what was I supposed to do? And I said, you did the right thing. Like there's, it's in the middle of the wedding morning, like you're going through, you just do it and you move on and you know. It's just, you know, but who would've thought you had to make that clear before the photo shoot that you weren't gonna do something like that?

Mary: Like you, you don't know what you don't know. 

Kira: You don't know what they're gonna spring on you there. Sometimes you get there. I mean, I've been in, in, you know, I don't do weddings, but I, you know, have had clients that get engaged and they want me to shoot their engagement session. Mm-hmm. And they. I get to the session and they go, so here's some of the things I found the images I want from Pinterest.

Kira: And you're like, oh God, [00:47:00] how did that happen? Yeah. You know? And then they show you like nine different photographers work with nine different styles of Yeah. With lens choices that are just not even what you brought on hand, you know? Yeah. Like, yeah, like something shot with like a 1.0 or 1.2, you know, Uhhuh focal length, and you're like, uh, I, uh.

Mary: Can't 

Kira: Or Aperture. Yeah, I can't, I I don't even have that here. That's not even class here. That's, that's not what I use. Uh, so, 

Mary: so, sorry. Um, that's not gonna work. No, it's just kind of funny. I don't know. I've never really thought about it like that because again, and, and gratefully I, it hasn't happened. Um, but it could, I mean, it could, and, and nowadays especially just because, um, you know, uh, just because, um.

Mary: Because there's just photography everywhere and there's so many, and especially with TikTok, there's all these people out there with do this and do that. Like there's just lots of stuff, right? There's just so much stuff out there and it's just not something I could do. It's just like you said, I [00:48:00] don't have the lens.

Mary: I don't have, this is actually a video. This isn't even a still. Portrait like, 

Kira: ma'am, this is, ma'am, this is an rby. Like, we can't, you're asking for something that we don't make. 

Mary: Exactly. Okay. Exactly. Exactly. Um, 

Kira: but yeah. Yeah. So, uh, yeah. You know, this has been an interesting discussion. It, it really, all of this has been about control.

Mary: You know, it has, it has been about control and, uh, control's a big word right now. I think it's a big word that a lot of us are, um, grasping for, striving, for, hoping for. And whatever that is, you know, whether it's over your health or, um, you know, your studio, uh, either you know, being too busy or not busy enough, or I.

Mary: Um, you know, if you're raising kiddos these days, you know, and they're at those ages, whatever age they are, there's always a control issue, right. Whether they're toddlers Yeah. Or they're teenagers. There's always that control issue. Aging parents, that's something, you know, that, that you and I have talked about at times.

Mary: Like just, there's just control. Things [00:49:00] that we can't really control, but we're trying to, and I guess at what point do you just let them, and I'll go back to my Mel Robbins, you know, book that I become my little mini bible these days, but, you know, um. There's certain things you just did, you should have control over and you know that, you know, I feel like that control piece is hard and, um, something that I struggle with more than ever these days.

Mary: I think, I don't know, maybe, I don't know. I guess because I feel so outta control about so many things that I've become a little bit too much control about what I can sometimes, I don't know. 

Kira: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 

Mary: I don't know. It's, it's a lot right now. It's just, it's a lot. And, but I will say on a great note, on a fabulous note that we had, like for the, for, for, you know, the, our, um, April has started off amazing.

Mary: Like, um, I'm very clear and I think Ki and I both were pretty. Pretty open about it all along the way that our, my [00:50:00] first quarter at least, was just dismal. It was just a, a dismal, very dismal. It was just dismal. Mm-hmm. It was not fun. It was not cute. Mm-hmm. Um, don't, no stars, don't recommend. But, um, April started off with a little bit more of a bang, so I think that's exciting.

Mary: I think I'm feeling a little bit more positive. Um, about that. And, uh, you know, I had to the point where like Square, who is my credit card processing company, reached out to me in like, are you okay? You okay? Is everything all right? No. I was like, I'm fine. Square mind your business. I'll be back in April.

Mary: Um, so, uh. So, but you know, I think, you know, a lot of people are, I, I think a lot of people are feeling lack of control. And then I think that there's two kinds of people, there's people like me when I feel like I don't have any control, then I'm just like, well, screw it. I'll just spend all the money and do all the things.

Mary: Or there's people that are like, ah, I'm gonna just hibernate in a ball because I, I can't, you know, I really do. I think there's just two different types of personalities that deal with that, and. I'm unfortunately the first one, which is not a [00:51:00] good thing. Do, do not recommend that either. Um, but I feel like things are, um, shifting a little bit.

Mary: Um, 

Kira: good. Well, that's good. Yeah. Well, I am, uh, really just officially, you know, getting started with April here on day seven, but, you know, booking coming in today and booking and so That's good. That 

Mary: is great. 

Kira: You know, that's really great. So, so, yay. 

Mary: I like it. I like it. Well, we'll all be excited to hear how it goes.

Mary: I mean, I think that's kind of cool, you know, I mean. I think it's cool that you've got a new magazine that's interested. And how did they, so they just know who you are. Are they, are they, they just know who you are. 

Kira: They do. 

Mary: That's great. 

Kira: Uh, do just well, which is a nice feeling. 

Mary: That is a great feeling. I mean, that's something that most people don't have.

Mary: I mean, yeah. That's pretty amazing. I mean, that's, that's a, I am goals right there. I 

Kira: am getting some of those, those from, I think once your studio makes it past a certain certain point. Now we're in year 14 or so, you know. Yeah. Um. Uh, it is nice to have that, at least that. [00:52:00] You know, recogni name recognition in the, in the town.

Kira: Agree. So that's good. Absolutely agree. 

Mary: I love it. They just knew who I was. Hey. As they should. As they should. I like it. I like it. Well, I'm glad that there's no tornado. I'm glad that you're safe and sound. Um, still storming there though. Uh, 

Kira: well, about that. Um, no, we're back under a tornado warning. Oh, you are?

Kira: Um, 

Mary: okay. Well, 

Kira: huh, for a few more minutes. For a few more minutes. Um, but you know, it's fine. I've, we've been through many a tornado warning here. It's, 

Mary: it's Florida. 

Kira: It's Florida, 

Mary: it's how Florida rolls. They just keep you. Florida just likes to keep you guessing, don't they? 

Kira: Florida just keeps you on your toes, you know, and if you don't dance around, you might get bit by an alligator.

Kira: So, 

Mary: oh. Well that sounds just like an advertisement to visit Florida. If you've ever I've ever heard one. Don't. It's terrible talking. 

Kira: Don't 

Mary: recommend, just go back. I actually was watching a, was it, it was either, it was a new show, I think it's called Pulse. Yeah. 'cause it takes place in [00:53:00] Miami. Uh, love it by I Hi.

Mary: If you like a hospital doc, like series. I really did enjoy it. Um, but they actually called it, um, a Florida, they called it a Florida. Oh, shoot. A Florida something coming in and somebody that was new, they're not from Florida, was like, what is that? And they're like, an alligator, right? You idiot. I'm like, oh my God.

Mary: That's, they called it like the Florida, um, revenge. They called it something. And the ER knew what it meant because, oh, I don't, 

Kira: I, now I wanna know what that is. Yeah. 

Mary: Yep. It was on, it was definitely on pulse, which. Again, I really liked that show, but 

Kira: I would watch that. I, I just finished with the pit, so I think I'm ready for another.

Mary: It's good one. It's good. It's fast, it's fast paced. It's good. You're, I don't know. I'll be interested to see that. You might, you might, and I know you will, you might find the main, the main girl to be, I don't know. I have a feeling you watch it. Let me know. You're, you might. Is she blonde? Yeah. And I think you, you might find [00:54:00] her exhausting.

Mary: She always looks a little, a little, just a little sad, a little put out like. An angst kind of, I don't know. I just, I have a feeling I know exactly how you're gonna feel about her, but it's good. Is there a 

Kira: strong brunette female character alongside her? Somewhere? A 

Mary: hundred percent. 

Kira: Of course there is. 

Mary: And of course there's a man involved.

Kira: Oh yeah. Oh gosh. Does it pass the Bechtel test? 

Mary: Oh, yeah, 

Kira: yeah. It's got it, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, 

Mary: yeah. It's great. It's great. You'll like it. It was a good weekend watch. It was a good, it was a good weekend Watch. But, um. 

Kira: I would watch it. Yeah, you'll watch it. It, you'll watch it. And, and no offense to my blonde, my blonde friends out there.

Mary: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not at, no, not at all. I 

Kira: tend, I tend, I do tend in my TV watching to, I like, I didn't know I did this, but my husband did this. He was like, you, you kind of just don't like female blonde protagonists in shows. And I was like, that's not a thing. I don't do that. And then I, we started kind of counting on like who it is, and I was like, oh.

Kira: Uh, well, I, I don't know. It's no offense to [00:55:00] them. I don't know. Something about Isn't that 

Mary: interesting? 

Kira: Yeah. Okay. So it's awful. Alright. But 

Mary: we just talked about, so Ki and I both are watching the Kate Hudson one. What is the name of it? It's like, 

Kira: uh, forward Breaking Forward, 

Mary: forward, forward. 

Kira: It's a called, it's about, it's a breaking forward.

Kira: Breaking forward. It's like 

Mary: a basketball, it's a basketball. Like I know in basketball you have a forward, it's like that's a position on the team anyway. Can I look it up? Yeah. Anyway, um, it's Kate Hudson who is very blonde and Brenda Song, who is not, and I love both of, I do like of the Hudson though, but I love Kate Hudson, so I That's what I'm say you, 

Kira: you don't Running Point, we don't even know what the name of the show is.

Kira: It's called Running Point. Oh, running 

Mary: Point. Like a point guard. Okay. I knew it had something to do with like basketball. The position? 

Kira: No, I, I adore Kate Hudson. She started a band. She's like an band. She's a great 

Mary: singer. 

Kira: Yeah, she's great. 

Mary: Yeah. So anyway, um, we do like her. So not all blondes. I was just gonna, 

Kira: it's not all blondes.

Kira: Yeah, no, it's just some, some blondes [00:56:00] in some shows. Well, I don't know why This's gonna make me sound terrible. I, it's not everyone, but there is as a pattern Turn on 

Mary: pulse though. And you see this woman, you're gonna go, uh. Yeah, I You just are. 'cause she always do, you know, that just pained look that some, yeah.

Mary: That was the only thing that bugged me a little bit. But it's good. It's definitely worth the watch. I enjoyed it. 

Kira: Is it, is it as pained as like Kira Knightly who's not, I don't think a blonde, but, but you know how Kira Iley always looks like. She's like, 

Mary: yeah, no, it's really upset. It's more, um, it's more Ellen Pompeo.

Mary: Uhhuh. Yeah. Like that on GRS early g Grey's Anatomy. She was always pain because she was in love with the main guy. McDreamy or 

Kira: Mcy? 

Mary: McDreamy, I think. Yeah. Um, yeah. 

Kira: But you know, she ended up with Harrison Ford, so 

Mary: no, she didn't. What are you talking about? About Ellen? 

Kira: No, that's 

Mary: Calista Flockhart. That's Allie McBeal.

Mary: You idiot. That's another pained blonde. It's [00:57:00] another pained face. Blonde. She, them straighted. Um, who I love both of them by the way. No, Ellen Pompeo has, she does. She is married and has kiddos, but, um, I don't know who that tell me. She doesn't 

Kira: remind you of Choa Flockhart though. 

Mary: No, no, no, no. Very thin, beautiful, light haired.

Mary: Great actresses. Love them both. Great. 

Kira: Nothing wrong with them. 

Mary: Yeah. 

Kira: Alright, on 

Mary: that note, we sound like blonde daters. We're not, we're not at all. Yes. Um, all right guys, well, we'll be back. We will be back next week. Just a little heads up, we will be taking a little bit of a break coming up here in the next over early summer just 'cause we have our travel schedule's Crazy, but.

Mary: Keep tuning in. Um, and where can they find us? Kira? 

Kira: They can follow us on Instagram at Get Your Shoot Together. They can follow us on Facebook at Get Your Shoot Together. They can email us at Girl at Get Your Shoot together.dot com and subscribe to us wherever podcasts are played. We will see you guys next time.

Kira: Thanks 

Mary: [00:58:00] y'all.