Episode 197 - Thousand Minute Mindset

In this reflective and relatable episode, Kira and Mary dive into the emotional rollercoaster of year-end chaos, family dynamics, and business burnout. Mary introduces the “Thousand Minute Rule,” a mindset trick that reframes daily stress by imagining your 1,000 minutes as dollars. Don’t let a $5 problem wreck your whole $1,000 day! The duo also explores how celebrity beefs (hello, 50 Cent!) can mirror our own petty grudges and how to let go of what’s not serving us. They touch on how unresolved issues can quietly linger, referencing The Body Keeps the Score, and share how doing inner work can transform relationships. It’s the pep talk we all need heading into the new year.

🎧 Listen now for a dose of perspective, mindset magic, and a few holiday laughs!

This episode was written and performed by Mary Fisk-Taylor and Kira Derryberry, produced and edited by Kira Derryberry.

Transcript

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Welcome to Get Your Shoot Together, the photographers podcast where we discuss studio, business life, and keeping it all in line. I am Kara Berry and I am Mary Fis Taylor. Hello. How are you? I'm so tired. I know. Tis the season, right? Tis the season. Um, but yeah, here we are right into the holidays and, uh, we, uh, I, we both done a little traveling, but I, I about you, but I'm not going anywhere till. After the first of the year? No. Yeah, after the first of the year. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I am firmly, firmly planted in Tallahassee. Uh, but it feels like every day there is something huge happening here to, to deal with and family in town and holiday Christmas pageants for the school and Oh, yeah. Appearing at the school and little parties at the, at the house and, you know, all that. Because I do this to myself, Mary, I, you know, I'm every, this is probably the most festive I have been. At the holidays, like my house is all decorated, you know? Mm-hmm. Like we, or, you know, most years I'm just, I'm, I don't get into it, but I was like, I'm gonna lean in this year, I'm gonna. We're really gonna be festive. We're gonna host, I love that. Gonna do a lot of stuff. And, but now I've, I've hosted myself right into despair, so, oh my gosh. Well, you know, um, I, because we have a new baby in the family, my niece had a baby, um, this year, little Holly Ann, um, who was baptized a couple weeks ago, and I have so many stories. Look, I'm gonna say it. Okay. I, I, I wanna get back on track, but let me just give you this little story guys. Y'all are gonna just love this. I think you're gonna love it. So we are Catholic. Holly Ann was baptized. She was her godparents. They, there was another little baby also being baptized when Holly Ann is being baptized. So they had two little babies back at the little baptismal. Little Boby boop and Holly Ann. And so cute. So cute. So cute. So I love it when people name their babies Boby boop. It's just Bob boop. It's like, it's a classic name that people aren't using. It's making a, it's, it's underused is what it is. It's under, it's making a comeback. It's making it comeback as it should. Actually, he's, his name was like Patrick PR Pedro or something. It was like two names that I could never understand. And we had a brand new priest who just arrived from Nairobi. Uh. I don't know. I could have converted to something else at this service. I have no idea what the man said. Uh, but he did get Holly Ann, but I could never understand my little, little kid's name. Little boy, adorable. Bob Booth. So Bob Booth. So my mom. Comes out of the bathroom, we're doing a few pictures, and she goes, you're not gonna believe what happened to the bathroom. And I was like, oh gosh, what happened, mom? She said, they were completely making fun of us. And I was like, what? And you know, Debbie, Debbie could exaggerate. She goes, the two ladies in there. The mom, and I guess her mom or sister or something was like, oh my God, did you see that other baby in that huge gown she was wearing? And, uh, it's called a baptismal gown, by the way, that huge gown, I mean, who would waste that much money just to wear something one time? And I'm thinking, well, did you ever get married? You know, or maybe, you know, but she shaded a baby in the bathroom of a church. Baby shade in a church at a baptism. And I'm like, girl. And mom's like, don't do anything. I'm like, of course I'm not gonna start a fight in the church. But I'm just like, how petty can you get? But uh, well, what was Bob Boop wearing? Boby boop was wearing like a sweatsuit, like, I don't even know. And I wasn't gonna make fun of Bob Boop, but now I am because our gown. We, my mom and I and Andy picked all of that out. My mom handmade the gown and Holly Ann is the fifth child in our family to wear it. I was gonna say, I bet with your family, it's like generational. It's passed down. Yes, yes. And I mean, but in a bathroom at a church, shading a baby, I'm like, okay. This world I. What is wrong with people? I just, I can't. I cannot. So anyway, we have a new baby that's been shaded in the bathroom of our church and um, we are now gonna be doing Christmas morning at Ann Russell's house this year.'cause it's the baby, you know, she's four months old, so she's fully aware. Everything. She's not, by the way. Mm-hmm. But we've always done Christmas morning, but we won't be doing it this year. So this year I'm not hosting Christmas morning, and Jax is leaving at like

5: 4:17

00 AM So it'll be the first Christmas that I haven't spent with him. Mm. So lots of changes. So I just kind of got real pissy and I said, you know, fuck it. Oops, sorry, I'm not gonna, sorry, I'm not gonna decorate. Just forget it. Nobody's, I can't believe you don't decorate.'cause you always have it so much. I, I did, I did. And then I had to talk myself off this ledge that I was on and I had to remind myself what it's all about. And Alex came over and Jamie, and we did all of it. The garland, all four trees, outdoors, indoors, stockings are up by the chimney with care. All 375 carers are looking at me weirdly. And we're all decorated and it does feel good. It feels very nice. To be decorated. It's festive. It's nice. It is nice. And we'll make new traditions now that we have babies coming, you know, so all good, all good stuff. Um, that is tough. You know, it is tough when the dynamic and the family changes and, and, you know, yeah. Somebody gets married or, you know, there's this whole other side of a family that, that, that, that person That's right. Responsible for, I mean, we've been going to Kevin's, my mother-in-law's house. You know, for 20 years. I, I was looking at that the, the other day I was like, I haven't had Thanksgiving with my parents in 20 years. Probably. Well I haven't with mine 'cause I go to Kentucky ever since Katie was born. Yeah. So for 19 years we've gone to Louisville. Now we do something before or after. And I'm with my family a lot. And you as are you. Yeah, but I haven't spent Thanksgiving with my family. Uh, that's not true. COVID. We did COVID 'cause we didn't go. Mm-hmm. We didn't go during COVID, but, um,'cause we had COVID here in Virginia. Um, but, uh, I always like, pick on other states. We're like, what do you mean? Um, so, so yeah. Um, I did, I decorated and um, I've got a new thing. Kira, I've got a new thing. I've got a new thing. And, um, because I've, I think I've mentioned. Too many times, probably to you, or maybe even on this podcast here and there. This has definitely been one of our harder years. Um, definitely not as stellar of a year as I would've loved. Um, definitely, you know, people being very hard to make decisions or cutting back, et cetera, et cetera. So it's just been tough and yeah. Um, I've been kind of, not necessarily in a funk over it, but. You know, kind of going between angry and sad, just kind of feeling all the feelings and then just ignoring it as you do as adults. Yeah, as we do. So I've started, um, I started reading about the whole idea of the thousand minute rule. Have you heard of this? No. No. Okay, good point. So, the thousand Minute Rule, um, actually read about it in, um, inside, in the Harvard Business Review, but then listened to a podcast where Ryan Sarant, who is on Sally Manhattan, he's one of the big realtors on s Manhattan, and he did a podcast on it that he had listened to it and he, him and his whole staff follow it. And it's really, really. Great. And essentially the bottom line is, is that you get, um, a thousand minutes in a day to manage your time effectively. You have a thousand minutes to, you know, use good time, use good, you know, use that time well in a day. Mm-hmm. Essentially. Mm-hmm. And, um, and then if you, if you then take that thousand minute philosophy and you turn it into dollars, okay. So you have the ability to make a thousand dollars a day. If you turn it into dollars and say, I have one client that comes in and they, or they call me and say, which happened last week, that where they take a really big order from, you know, solid five figure, big order down. Two, not five figures, right? Yeah. We, we definitely came on down, way down. And I could have let that five minute phone call completely ruin my day. Actually, I did. I let it ruin my day. I got sad about it. I was mad about it. I stamped my foot, you know, the whole n But if I think about it like money, that's only $5. Mm. Am I gonna let $5 take away from the $995 that I still have the potential to earn today? A thousand minutes a day. So mean no math. Yeah. That's 16 hours a day. Well, not at, yeah, so not 16 hours a day. But you mean, and but obviously we are not working 16 hours a day. Wait, no it's not. It's seven and a half hours, isn't it? It. Wait, no, no, no. Seven and a half of those hours you're sleeping. But that's productive. Like we have to, so if you think about a thousand minutes, like you have to take care of your body, you have to take care of yourself. When you go to the gym, you have to get eight hours, eight hours, six to eight hours of sleep, um, you know, all that stuff. But you have a thousand, you have a thousand minutes left in the day. Mm, mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. 24 hours is 1,440 minutes if I'm doing my math right. And about 440 minutes of those, which is about seven and a half hours, is sleeping. Oh, okay. So if you have 1,440 minutes, if you think of a thousand of those, and then you convert those to dollars.'cause it's amazing how somebody cuts us off. Or we d you know, something happens in the day and we allow it to literally ruin our day. But if you convert that to $5 or $10. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's just like at the end of the day, you're just like, eh. Yeah, I mean, because if you look at losing $5, are you gonna lose a whole day being angry over something you had no control over to begin with? Yeah, that's a good point. That's, I will let things derail my day. Oh, a hundred percent. I mean, and I, and I probably still will, but when I found myself doing that, um, uh, earlier this week, I said, okay. Hold on a thousand minutes. How long did, okay, that was 10 minutes. That's a hundred. You know, that's, that's $10. I'm not gonna let $10 take away from all my productivity and all my creativity. Certainly not gonna take it out on others, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So just converting the minutes to dollars for me, like for some reason that clicks with me so hard and I'm. Oh yeah.$5, $10 even, even 20, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Um, because I still have this whole, I have $950 left or whatever that I could still earn and whatever that means. I changed it. I it, I exchanged it in my head for a life bar, like in a video game. Okay. Oh, see? Yes, of course you did. No, but that makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like. Chipping away at just your, your health or your manna just for like a little bit, but then Right. You know, but you can still function. You can still fight. You can still fight. Right. You don't, you're, you're not, you're not out. Like mm-hmm. And, and I mean, you wouldn't let, one thing, and I don't play those games, but I'm familiar enough, if they come around and you get injured or something happens, you're not gonna let that take you out. You're gonna keep fighting. Right. You're gonna, yeah. You're gonna keep, keep going. You're, you're gonna heal. You're gonna heal, and you're gonna get more, you're gonna get more weapons or ammunition or power or whatever. So that you can continue to fight. Mm-hmm. Well, we need to look at our lives that way and then just 'cause we're small business owners or creatives, we have full control over that, quite frankly. Mm-hmm. So why aren't we going in and saying, oh, I'm not gonna let that derail my whole day. I'm not gonna let that, you know, take it, take live rent free in my head. I'm not gonna, you know, whatever it is we need to tell ourselves. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I love that. Yeah, that's a, that's a good way to look at it because, uh, you know, so many things do derail the day. So many conversations or phone call or you know, whatever, like can totally. You know, destroy the, when you feel like there's not enough hours in the day to begin with. Correct. And you know, sometimes it's like our spouse may piss us off, or, or, you know, we get, we get frustrated with our parents or, you know, you know, I mean, whatever it is. Um, you know, I watch something on the news and I wanna bang my head up against the cement wall and I'm like, okay, nope. I can be, I can let that go. That's taken three men, $3 away from me, but it's not taking anymore. Right. Because when we let that happen, somebody else is winning. We're not winning. Exactly.'cause we're letting that take over and control. The destiny of our day and every day doesn't need to be a thousand minutes of productivity. We need days off, we need time off, we need, you know, all those things. We need to have great times where we go and spend time with friends. Like, you know, we were in Tallahassee a couple weeks ago and mm-hmm. Um, you know, all the good stuff, but. But you know, when we're in a product, when we're in a productive mode, when we are working, we need to come with that mindset. And for me, for some reason, converting it to dollars just makes sense. All the difference in the world. Like easy. Well, I, but I think we could, we could, we could apply this to, you know, just, you know, personal conflicts as well. Like, we talk about like, people living rent free. Ooh, yeah. You know, like, I've been thinking, I, I don't know if you've watched it yet, Mary, but I, I, you gotta watch the, the documentary on Netflix about. Did he, I know it's on my list. You just need a time when I could sit down and you've got to, because the level that of revenge that that 50 cent, uh, is, is putting out right now is just, it's just unseen unheard of. I mean, it, the, the story is, is that 50 cent has been quietly for over 20 years gathering. Information so that he could eventually do some sort of documentary about Sean Combs, stop and release it. And now all now the, since it's been released, right? You've got, they're doing all these interviews with 50 cent.'cause you know Sean Combs is in jail. Yeah, he's only doing interviews, only doing interviews in on, on, um, channels that are, that are played in the prison so that, so that Sean Combes can see the level of petty is like, I'm so intrigued. And, and, and the interviews with, with 50 cent, AKA Curtis. Right. Uhhuh Uhhuh Uhhuh, like he is smiling perfect pearly, white smile ear to ear. He just, he looks joyous and they ask him things like, do you think, what do you think um, Diddy will think about about this documentary? Did he have any idea? And he, and he's just smiling. He can't even stop smiling. He's like, I don't think he had any idea. I think he'll like it. I think. I think he'll pick up the best documentary that's ever come, you know? And then they're like, does he know that you got footage that he had actually hired? He actually hired a, a documentarian to follow him around. Diddy did, um, to Diddy, did, um, to, while he was about to be arrested and, and subsequently put on trial'cause he thought he was gonna win. So he had, he had somebody follow him around with this, right? And so he, um, somehow 50 cent got the footage. Right, and, and was able, I guess he didn't, I don't know. He doesn't, he's not, he's not naming how he got the footage, but he got the footage and he's like, uh, do you, you know, how did you get the footage? Like, did, did, did he, does he know that you got the footage? And he's like, I don't think he knows. I don't think he knows how I got the footage. And I don't think he cared. I don't think that, well, fitty doesn't care, that's for sure. Oh, no. Fitty iss living his best life. So the energy, like I, I was thinking. Oh gosh, I was thinking about this. Oh my. I was thinking about the people that I have, I've let live rent free in my head in, in the last year, you know, and just general like in the last year, you know what I mean? Absolutely. How much energy. I've wasted and time in my day and how many days derailed over just going, gosh, you know, like, just being mad and, and, and whatever. But like I'm watching 50 cent. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. I'm watching 50 cent and all his interviews, and he's just, it does look like, it feels so good to have this moment of, of, I mean, we'll call, I don't know, I don't know exactly what Diddy did to him. I don't know what, but what the initial beef was. But there was something, you know, and it just looks, he looks like it's, he just looks delicious. But at the same time, I'm thinking. That's a lot of energy. 20 years of energy to put, I mean, and there, there's a come up, it's, there's a payoff there for Diddy, but 20 years of energy put at that. I don't wanna That's a lot. Do that. I don't wanna do that. No, but there's so much shade out there. Let's think about the Super Bowl last year. Wasn't that a whole shade against Drake? Like that whole shade, like Oh, that the whole thing was the shade. Drake, I. And I, I mean, maybe they deserve it. I don't know. I mean, and I'm here for it. Look, I'm not gonna pretend like, look, we love, we love the, I got popcorn. I'm on the side. I'm here for the tea. I'm here for it. But you're right. I mean to base, you know so much to an entire creative project around spite. I mean, in some ways it's, it's hilarious to look at now. I wouldn't have wanted to be the person, do you know?'cause that Yeah. That has to have been all consuming for a long time. Right. For, for him to have done that. Right. Right. But you, you're right, there's the Drake and Lamar, Lamar Beef, Kendrick, Kendrick Lamar. Yeah. Kenmar. Yeah. And then there's the, um, you know, there's one with Taylor Swift and um, Charlie XCX. Oh, right. You know, that's from their albums. Um, they have it's nuts, but I mean, they're making money off their spite. When I'm getting, when I get like that and I allow people to, I'm losing money because it just, I become obsessed. Yeah. If there's no way for me to make money on that spot. Yeah. I, I'm back in, you know, I, I could be petty, but, but I'm not making any money. In fact, I'm losing money on my, on my spite, and I need to. Move on. I do. Exactly. Because it is taking away time from, you know, productivity. I mean, not, I don't want you to think that it's all the time, but just, you know, as a, as a. No, I mean, think about the space we were in this time last year. Yeah. And the amount of time loss of sleep, and that takes away from your, your health and that takes away from other relationships. It's not just money. It's like, you know, when you're in that space and in that funk and I'm allowing this client's decision that they had to make mm-hmm. About their order, affect everything. It's gonna affect my relationship with my husband or I'm not gonna be, you know what I mean? Like mm-hmm. I might be short with my kids or I might not go out to dinner with my friends because I'm feeling too crappy or I'm, you know what I'm saying? So I just. You know, there's two ends to it. I mean, the Fitty and the Kendrick Lamar, their spite, they're, they're making bank on good for them. Bravo. I've figured out a way to make bank on my spite and my mind yet, so unfortunately that's not a viable source of income for it. It isn't. It really isn't. And if it does become one, I'll let you know, and I will certainly share it here first. But until then, I will just try to equivalent. Make it equivalent to dollars. You try to make yours equivalent to leveling up on whatever game that you're playing. Um, but it's true. I mean, it's absolutely valid and I just for some reason started doing that after reading it, and it really helped me. It's perspective for me, right? Mm-hmm. Like putting things in perspective is hard for me. So when I'm, by putting it in those dollars, that's perspective, that's something that's tangible that I can understand very easily. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, I like that a lot. That's good. And then you just don't let it take away because it's a, we can't have negative income. We really cannot. Um, and, uh, that's, yeah. Especially now, more than ever. Never. But never, ever. So, um, so yeah, that's kind of one of my biggest realizations that I've been kind of working through and, and dealing with, um, uh, lately and, and loving it. Like really feeling like, wow, this is really, really helpful. Like, mm-hmm. I can't believe how much this is. Helping me, um, compartmentalize things that need to be, you know what I'm saying? Like I need to let it go or I need to put it, put it in a better perspective or, you know, what have you. Um, and that's good for this time of year too. Yeah. You know, it's just, yeah, it is just sort of like bring good energy into, into the next. Yeah. Into whatever the next is, you know? But I do, I will say it does help me sometimes. Those celebrity beefs and distractions, I mean the Lily Allen with her ex-husband, the guy Oh, right, right. Things. Right. Wow. You know, like there's some, there's a lot there too. And, but I, but that feeds. Whatever that desire is for me to spend time on like my own drama. I don't, I can, I can be fed by way of celebrity. I could too. That's why I watch, you know, then this, this is so funny because we talk about therapy and oh gosh, remind me of something else. But, you know, we talk about these things, you know, because we work alone and all these things and all this stuff. But, you know, um, that's why I just watch such mindless, trashy TV is because. I guess when I see that, that it just makes me forget, I don't know. Like I, I love watching stuff like that. Or I, like, that's aism, you know? I mean that's, it's, and I'm here for it. Like I'm a hundred percent, you know, here for it. But have you ever read the book? The Body Keeps the Score. I have heard of that book. I I, I said this to someone else this morning. If when you talk to me and you say, Kara, have you ever read the book? You could just insert any book. Um, the answer is gonna be No Mary. Right? I should have said, heard of the book. Heard of the book. Yes. Heard of the book. Understand the premise of the book. But do tell. Yeah. Well, no. So just, you know, honestly, um, this is something that I talked to Terry and I talked about when I was in, I go to Kentucky every. Thanksgiving, uh, and I spend it with my best friend from high school and my goddaughter, and there's a whole gang of us and, you know, we do wholesome things like go to the racetrack. So anywho, her and I were having lunch and we were talking about that and we started talking about this book and it reminded me and I like, immediately it's like, oh, I gotta reread that book. And it's something that if you haven't read, I think it's incredibly, um, impactful and. Obviously, if you've heard me talk this year, let Them was a big book for me this year. Yeah. Like I learned so much from that. The body keeps the score, like as of now being, you know, a, a mid to late fifties year old woman reading that. It's insanity, the amount of things that you understand that your body is holding onto. Yeah. That we don't even realize we're holding onto. Right. You know, because that 7-year-old you who may have been humiliated on the playground or, or who who got hurt or whatever it was, is still part of you. And even though we've moved on and we've gone on and we don't even think about it, or we don't think we think about it, it is there until you choose to deal with it is nuts. Right. It's absolutely nuts. So anybody that's in a space where you're working with a therapist or you just kind of want to kind of do a little bit soul searching, talking about moving into a new year, new you, I think that, that it's a short, easy read. I think that's such a good book because I think it validates you in a very personal way that only you have to, you don't have to share it with anybody. You don't have to talk about it, but dang, it is so validating. Um. Mm-hmm. And, and, um, I just can't. Recommend it enough so. I think it's, it's, it's an incredibly valid point. I mean, you know, the body, just the, the concept of the body keeping score. I mean, I think yeah, that's right. This year especially has been exceptionally relatable for me, you know? Mm-hmm. Um, 'cause it's, it's just been a rough year, you know, and, and, um, I'm trying to bounce back from it, but like, you know, there. If there's all kinds of things there are and, and well also, I think as we get older, we grow up and we get better and so do our parents. Mm-hmm. And we don't wanna look at our parents in a negative way. But I would venture to guess that many or most of us have some childhood drama or issues from our own moms and dads, or parents. We just do. I mean, odds are we do because they're trying to figure it out too. Mm-hmm. But it's really hard for me at this point in my relationship with my mom to ever look at her in a bad light. And I use the word bad in quotes. I have to not look at it, but I at least have to acknowledge it and deal with the kid that was hurt or left out or whatever it was in order to move forward. And I think for the longest time I thought, no. If I deal with that then, then I'm shading my mom. I'm being my mom is because we love our moms. Like, you know what I'm saying? And I would do anything in the world and she's one of the best humans I know now. But if we're honest, we, and you and I have had lots of conversations. We look back and we're like, hath, that wasn't really cool, but. Yeah. Yeah. But here I'm, but then, but then you also look back and think, you know, she was somebody like me. Just trying to keep it together, trying to not forget every, drop a ball, trying to make sure the kid goes to the Christmas pageant and you get your work done and you, you know, do what you say you're gonna do, and you don't let people down. And you're a good wife and you're a good partner and you're a good what? You know what I mean? Like, and then you start to go, yeah, I can see how that happened. Like there's a lot of a hundred percent And she was a single mom. A single mom. Yeah. Oh yeah. Your mom really. I mean, like, I can see how that happened, you know, as a, does. As can see it so mad about it. You're so mad about it when you're a kid, you know? Yeah. Or you think about it when you're, when you're a teenager or when you're in your twenties, you're just like, man, that was really messed up. Or whatever, you know? Right. And then you, you know, you're, you get into forties plus and you're just like, yeah, I, I could see how that happened. I, you know, this, this week. This week I managed to piss off like everybody in my family. Fabulous. Good job. You know, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, because I was trying to get everything done and I, um, and we had this trip to Dallas. The trip to Dallas was very last minute, and so it was my responsibility to figure out how Lucy was gonna get to school or get picked up from school that day and all that stuff. And I, I ran out of hours in the day. I had to go to a, a net, like a, an event for a client the night before and everything just, you know, packed up on top of each other and on. The morning that I'm driving Lucy to school, I have to call my brother on the day that he has to take my dad to get his x-rays done and be like, Hey. So after you get your ex, you take dad, our dad, our father, to go get his x-rays and, and see the doctor and and, and all that stuff. Could you then swing by and pick up Lucy? And then also could you just take her back with you to Bainbridge and can she stay over at mom and dad's house and then. And then I, because I have to fly out to Dallas. I mean, that's that morning she's in the car with me. She's under, I don't have a plan together. And I'm driving to the school, you know, I threw a bunch of clothes in her backpack and I was like, let's hope this plan comes together. Oh my gosh, Karara, you make me crazy. Was he was so mad. Lose my mind. I'm so mad at me. I'm kind of teaming in on this one. I know. You should be. Everybody should be mad at me, you know? But I mean, I'm not mad at you, but No, no, no, no. It was a, it was not a great thing to do, but it, but, but. I have no excuse other than I couldn't fit everything in. You know what I mean? I get it. And, and I, I did my best and it wasn't great. It was, so with that being said, this is the second part because I think when we can acknowledge the fact that our parents did probably, you know, there were mistakes made and they probably are still with us to this day, but we need to deal with them. That's not a reflection of our parents. Right. I have thought about this book and giving it to my kids and saying. When you're ready, you should read this. And I fully accept the fact that I wasn't a perfect parent, but I want y'all to deal with this sooner than I dealt with it. And that's not a reflection on of me now. Mm-hmm. Or how much you love me or you love each other, but no parent is perfect or friend or you know, whatever. Yeah. Um, so I feel like, 'cause I have adult children and I feel like. I want them to do this earlier than I did it because I just spent way too much time being afraid to face those things because I thought it was disgraceful to my mom and it wasn't. I was just doing myself a disservice and not Yeah. You know, because it's not her fault she did the best she could do. A hundred percent hands down. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so anyway, I don't know, just a lot about, sorry guys. This isn't much about photography. This is today, but, um, you know, we're at the end of the year. We'll start over. We're reflecting. We're reflecting, and next week we'll talk about imaging, USA, 'cause there's so many cool things coming up, but, but yeah, reflecting and just trying to do better. And you know, one of the biggest compliments I think I've ever received in my whole life. My daughter and I and my husband were in Boston this past weekend visiting with the Dhows Mouse. And Al and I went out and we were just having a little snack by ourselves and having a, oh my gosh, the best. Espresso, peppermint, mocha, espresso martini I've ever had in my entire life. Oh my God. Oh my God. And there was an entire like, really, really attractive like hockey team in this restaurant.'cause we were staying right down near the garden. Um, so it was, it was wonderful. But she said, she goes, I said something and she said, you need to stop. She said, you've worked so hard on yourself. She said, you're so much softer. It's so obvious to me how hard you've worked on yourself. She said, you don't understand how much I look forward to this these times. And I can cry now. I know. And I'm like. You know, and I, and I did cry and I was like, wow, that, that's all I need. You know, I, I know I'm making progress. Um, 'cause she's my biggest critic, but my be my best fan, you know? So, yeah. Anyway, um. Just, you know, we gotta be easier on ourselves. I like the idea of, you know, trying to find something to equate those minutes to so we don't let 'em absorb too much of our energy or time and we can still mm-hmm. Move forward and be productive. And we all have something probably within us that we don't even realize. We're not even aware that it's there, but it is there. Mm-hmm. And you know, the sooner I think we can deal with those things and forgive ourselves and forgive others or whatever that is. We can really go into this next year with a much bigger, better attitude. And that's just my, this is what I've just decided. Yeah. I've just, that has to be it because I don't want another year, like this year. And, um, and I also wanna shift and change in the whole respect of, if I don't hit my goals and my numbers, I, I don't wanna spend all year beating myself up over it. I just need to let it go. Yeah. I just need to understand that's where I'm at. I make enough to survive and I need to not take it so personally. So. Yeah. Agreed. Well, that's a good one. I think that's a good note to wrap it up on. I love it. Let's do it. I love it. Love it. I love it. I love it. Hey guys, but before we go, but if you haven't signed up, imaging, USA still can sign up. Don't forget about Kira's pre-con, um, don't wanna miss that. And I, I just saw that she just opened her next chat, GPT class, which I hear is changing lives. I'm told it's changing lives, so, yeah. So yeah, imaging, USA Thursday all day, all day, pre-con, uh, you still can get in on that. Uh, if you are coming in a little bit early, um, what day is that, Kira? I forgot. It's gonna be on Thursday, the week of imaging. USA, yeah. Thursday. That's right. It's the Thursday. Yeah. Thursday I get in that I get in that day. I'm, I hope I could catch some of it. I'm flying in straight in From Paris, from Jen, Helen is pop. Pop in. Pop in and say Bojo. Um, and then I have opened up the, uh, the, the Level Up workshop. Um, master the game, um, of, uh, chat GPT. That is going to be ha ha ha as I have it open here, uh, starting February 2nd. So that is on sale. Now, if you'd like to get in on this one is gonna be a four week online workshop. We meet every Monday, um, afternoon. And if you would like to. See more about that, go to boss level ai.com, and we can put that on the, um, our, our Facebook page too. We can link that in. Make sure you guys get access to that. Seriously, guys. I mean, if you're not there yet, you need to be there. And I can't think of anybody better to teach you that than Ms. Ki Berry. So check it out. Check it. Thank you. Alright. Okay, you guys can follow us on Instagram at Get Your Shoot Together. You can follow us on Facebook at Get Your Shoot Together. You can email us at Girl at Get Your shoot together.com and subscribe to us everywhere where podcasts are played. We will see you guys next time. Thanks y'all.