A Hamburger Shy Of A Heart Attack: Julie Hittleman On The Weight Between Her Ears

Julie Hittleman was a nurse for 25 years and could not fix her own health. In April 2020 she was 265 pounds, couldn't climb a flight of stairs, and had fatty liver, pre-diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. She booked a telehealth visit to ask her doctor for a water pill.

He'd known her 10 years. He told her she was scaring him, that he thought she was in congestive heart failure, and that she was a hamburger shy of a heart attack.

She released 120 pounds in 11 months. She says the bigger weight was the one between her ears.

This conversation goes past food rules into what actually holds the pattern in place: using food to manage a dysregulated nervous system, why she refuses the phrase "cheat meal," the dopamine trap that guarantees the cycle repeats, and the difference between an ex-smoker and a non-smoker that explains why her eighth quit attempt was the one that stuck. She also draws a hard line between being symptom-free and being healthy, and between lifespan and health span.

Her line for it: it wasn't what I was eating, it was what was eating me.

Full written version: https://connorwithhonor.com/blog/2026-155-she-was-a-hamburger-shy-of-a-heart-attack-what-a-nurse-learned-losing-120-pounds

Find Julie at https://hittlemanhealth.com, including a free metabolic scan. She's on Facebook and Instagram as Julie Stern Hittleman.

This is a conversation, not medical advice. Julie's results are her own, not a promise of yours. Talk to your physician before changing anything about your health.

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Transcript

0:16

<v Connor with Honor>Esky, Little, MoustacheHairs. Let's see. What was that, Good afternoon. The show is here. Hey.<v Julie Hittleman>What did I miss?<v Connor with Honor>Oh my gosh, we were almost done, you and I. I think we almost finished the show. We just have your outro, you know, what you're gonna do.<v Julie Hittleman>How's it going?<v Connor with Honor>Oh my gosh, are you ready for this? It's gonna be so great.<v Julie Hittleman>I don't know. I figured I'd show up and then, uhm, eventually you would just like, hold on, I just see you. Yeah, I saw your message, uhm, and let me put my phone on Do Not Disturb<v Connor with Honor>so<v Julie Hittleman>that it doesn't ring while we're on it, it doesn't interrupt, turn off my volume, put it on airplane mode. Okay, no one can get a hold of me.<v Connor with Honor>Oh, no. Oh, perfect, very good.<v Julie Hittleman>Because they will, they really, really will.<v Connor with Honor>That's good, though. Yeah, of course, it always happens during the time that<v Julie Hittleman>we're doing something. Let me turn on my light because my lighting in here sucks.<v Connor with Honor>Your, uh, your voice sounds good, your background looks wonderful, so, uh, I think, I think we should just go for it.<v Julie Hittleman>I don't know what you're going to ask me, but hey, let's go for it.<v Connor with Honor>Alright, are you ready? Here we go. I'm going to do a little intro and then, uh.<v Julie Hittleman>Are we ever going to be?<v Connor with Honor>Then we'll, then we'll talk. Hold on one second, let me say a few words. Good day, everybody. I'm Conor McIver. Thank you so much for tuning in to the Honor Roll Show, and part of the Honor Roll, we have Julie Hittleman. She is somebody that I have grown to very much like over the last, almost a year, I would guess, maybe a little bit more. We probably connected maybe two years ago, talking about some things, and here she is, and I really wanted to have her on the show. I've been out of source with this for about five years now. I'm back in the studio, and I really want Julie to answer some questions, talk to you guys, because what I like to talk to, who I like to talk to are people that are very passionate about what they do, and you can't even use passionate enough with what Julie does. So, Julie, welcome to the show.<v Julie Hittleman>Thank you so much, Connor, and I love it. I love chatting with you, and we always have such great conversations, so I'm really looking forward to this, and I have no clue what you're going to ask me, but I'm sure this is going to be a fun-filled time together.<v Connor with Honor>That's the fun of it. Just to shelve something away, we will be probably talk kind of closer to the end. I'll always want to ask the people that are on my show about their take on artificial intelligence, but we won't go there. I just want to know, tell the audience a little bit about you, what makes you tick, and why are you doing what you're doing now.<v Julie Hittleman>Oh, wow. Well, just a little bit of my inner wiring. For 25 years, I've been a nurse, uhm, and I've really struggled with my own health, uhm, most of my life. Uhm, I was always the, the biggest friend, if you will. I used to refer to myself as the fat friend with the funny side of my sense of humor, uhm, and really what I was covering up was a lot of emotional dysregulation. I didn't know that till very recently, but six years ago, everything changed for me. A friend I had been watching was getting healthy and kept offering to me what she had, and I told her to kick rocks. I didn't need what she had. I failed every diet under the sun. I didn't need to do it until, uh, an encounter with my own doctor. He told me if I didn't lose weight, I was going to die, and we were in the middle of a pandemic. I was taking care of patients, and my own health was hanging in the balance, so I gave her 30 days to help me switch things around, and what came from that wasn't just another diet. It was a, at first, it was to lose weight, because I needed to. I needed to get healthy, I just didn't know how, and even being in health care for 25 years, I couldn't help myself.<v Connor with Honor>Yeah, you would think, you would think that that would be the first expert, the doctor, the nurses, because, I mean, you've seen it.<v Julie Hittleman>Yeah, but you know what they say, doctors shouldn't practice too much on themselves, neither should nurses, but, uhm, you know, we have book knowledge, we know how to take care of people, in practical sense, but when it comes to nutrition, doctors and nurses are not given the uhm, very much information on nutrition. So did I know how to do it? No, I knew how to diet, because that's what I had been taught my entire life, and it resulted What does<v Connor with Honor>that mean? What, what does it mean, diet? What, what does that mean? So-<v Julie Hittleman>When people think of about a diet, they restrict themselves, they choose stuff not to eat so that they can lose weight. And that's what I had done my entire life, is I learned how to lose weight. I learned how to restrict myself. And that all changed six years ago when someone showed me a different way of doing it. It wasn't about what I couldn't do. It's what I could do. It's not what I couldn't have. It's what I chose to have. But more importantly, and I think that's where my passion comes from, yes, did I lose the weight six years ago? Yes, I released 120 pounds off my body, but the biggest weight was from between my ears. I had finally changed my mindset, my habits, and the way I did things, and I did it, and I didn't think of it as a restriction, because I was no longer chasing a number on a scale, I was actually creating health, something I've never done my entire life.<v Connor with Honor>What's the, what's that feel like to, how long, how long did that take, I guess, a good first question, then what does it feel like?<v Julie Hittleman>Well, it took me, it took me, it took me longer to lose the mindset than it did the weight. Uhm, I released 120 pounds in 11 months. And, uhm.<v Connor with Honor>So that's like a, a person. Yeah.<v Julie Hittleman>But then you gotta wait<v Connor with Honor>for<v Julie Hittleman>the, you know, I think the, the thing too is, I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. When am I going to gain the weight back? Uhm.<v Connor with Honor>Oh, yeah. Yeah.<v Julie Hittleman>You know, you always have that what ifs.<v Connor with Honor>And, and that happens a lot, right?<v Julie Hittleman>Oh, yeah.<v Connor with Honor>Yeah. That happens a bunch in the, in the world. In fact, I don't even, people, I don't even think talk about that, that are telling you how to get fit. They don't talk about how to, how to keep it going.<v Julie Hittleman>Right. And that's where this program for me as a client changed everything. Five months into my program, uhm, I was down about 50-something pounds. And my coach introduced me to a book that I work with my clients out of, and what it really was, was changing our mindset and habits, something no one had ever shown me how to do. And so I really leaned into it. Into the mental push-ups, if you will, um, and really getting my mindset to catch up with my body. And what I love about my journey in my health is that in the time it took me to lose weight, I started to actually. Change my mindset because my vision of who I was was changing. It wasn't just trying to be the skinny girl in the room. It wasn't trying to fit into skinny jeans. In fact, it was trying to do something that scared the bejesus out of me, which was I was actually. Actually losing weight, not for me for the first time I did it for my kids because I could do for them what I couldn't do for myself and having lost my mom at the age of 59, which is only four years older than I am right now. At the time I was. 49 and thought, Oh my God, my doctor just said I'm gonna die. I know what it's like to grow up with, you know, grow up in my 30s without a mother and I didn't want to do that to my kids. I couldn't say yes to this diet for myself, but I could do something to stop it stay here for my kids. And it was the first time in my adult life I was trying to create something rather than fix something.<v Connor with Honor>It sounds like this, so this, whenever you hear talk, people talk about losing weight, the experts, they say these are the five things you have to that are going to help. Nobody's going deep, deep. What is this, what is this deep look like? More than you have to eat this, don't eat this, don't eat this. So you're looking for triggers and clues as to why you were incapable of doing something. And then you apply a course of<v Julie Hittleman>As I often tell my clients, I realized it wasn't what I was eating, it was what was eating me. What was I using the food to cover up and manage? It was a dysregulated nervous system.<v Connor with Honor>I would be scared to dive into the thing. Do you see that pushback as well?<v Julie Hittleman>I<v Connor with Honor>mean, that's not an easy place. It'd be better for you to say, just eat eggs, Connor. Eat some eggs, and you got it. Just eat eggs, and you'll<v Julie Hittleman>be fine.<v Connor with Honor>Don't deal with the trauma. Eggs.<v Julie Hittleman>No, no, no, but you<v Connor with Honor>can, right?<v Julie Hittleman>But what happens when you get bored with those eggs? And you're like, okay, I can't eat another egg. Well, that's what<v Connor with Honor>I call you, and I don't want to talk about it. And then you say, eat more eggs. I say, okay, got it, got<v Julie Hittleman>it, sorry. No, that's really where it boiled down to, no pun intended, but, you know, you could tell me what to eat, but why was it that I could stay on a diet until a party or a special event?<v Connor with Honor>Right.<v Julie Hittleman>Someone took me out to dinner, and then I would cheat. Right? And I tell my-<v Connor with Honor>But, at that point, you deserved it, though, right?<v Julie Hittleman>No, no, no. I tell my clients all the time, and here's where my mindset changed, and here's where the- I asked them, are you married? And they often, you know, most of them are in relationships or are married, and I said, how many days a week do you cheat on your husband? And they're like, excuse me?<v Connor with Honor>Oh, that's- that's horrible. You're so mean.<v Julie Hittleman>I am. But then I'm like, how often is that okay? And they're like, no. Okay, but why not? I made a commitment to my husband. Well, you just made a commitment to yourself. So who are you really cheating? You know, if you're cheating, you're taking away from yourself. And I used to say the same thing. I'm going to go have a cheat meal. That's like a drug addict. Right? Saying, I've been so clean and sober for 90- I'm<v Connor with Honor>going to chip some heroin. Right, I'm going to<v Julie Hittleman>go and shoot some heroin. And for me, that's really what it boiled down to, is that sugar was my addiction. And I didn't realize, I thought I was a carboholic. I love sourdough bread. It breaks down into sugar and it sends off the monster inside. But it took a lot of, like you said, finding triggers, finding those things. And I couldn't see it in myself. It took someone else to point it it with me and for me to come to the realization that I wasn't broken and I didn't need someone to fix me. I just needed to understand myself better and why I did the things I did so I could change my habit loops.<v Connor with Honor>This wasn't in a book. You can't, I've read a lot of books. It doesn't seem to have that, that effect. I mean, I've read, I've read some pretty good books just about this subject because that's my battle. And, and I, I get it. I get irritated when people get into the whole sugar thing. It's carbs for me. Any, anything that I eat that, it's hard for me to eat a dozen boiled eggs in a sitting, I can do it. I also like that, uh, that distention where the stomach is pushing out so far, those senses. That's another problem of addiction that I have, but I can't believe a book, so it's more than that, I would guess.<v Julie Hittleman>I mean, it is, but when you realize that they call the stomach the second brain for a reason. Think of every religion that uses fasting. As a means of getting closer to their maker. I'll put it in that term. When you're fasting and your stomach is empty, you're more in touch with your emotion and the first brain. When you extend the stomach, right, and you are over full, really, you're not thinking much of anything because you're not as in touch. Because now, right, because you're getting dopamine, which is the feel-good hormone, but you're what you're really craving is serotonin, which has a longer effect on the synapses of the brain. Now, this part of neuroscience, I understand is a nurse. Dopamine doesn't last as long. It's what we're chasing. It's that next fix. So when you're up upset or you're stressed out or you're tired, all of those things, your body is seeking comfort. And in comfort, dopamine is that feel good hormone. Food stimulates the dopamine in the form of sugar. We get that instant calm. And that's why people say, oh, I need, you know, X, Y, and Z, I'll feel better, you do for a moment. And then when the dopamine dissipates, you're beating yourself up. And it's a constant back and forth battle.<v Connor with Honor>So you're going back to get more dopamine and you get the dopamine trigger from what you're eating. And usually it's not hard-boiled eggs.<v Julie Hittleman>Correct. So I might get upset at my spouse and I go eat a piece of chocolate. I feel better in the moment, but then I'm beating myself up for not only the argument, but I'm also<v Connor with Honor>but also the chocolate and then it's naturally their fault. They made you do that. Yeah, absolutely.<v Julie Hittleman>Yeah. So in, in the book I'm referencing, one of the things is really looking at what actually is part of that habit loop and taking that taking the opportunity to stop for a moment, take a deep breath. Instantly when you're stressed out, you do that. You're, you're tending to drop your shoulders. Your, your chest isn't as tight, but the deep the difference is a momentary pause, which is the difference between responding and reacting and asking yourself some questions. Why am I doing it? What am I going to get from it? Is that what I want long-term? If I eat that piece of chocolate. Am I going to remember that a year from now? Or am I going to feel better when I've reached my goal? And my goal doesn't actually pertain to that piece of chocolate. It's a momentary thing. And just like our emotions are the, you know, the weather, you're the sky. And the weather changes every 15 minutes or 15 seconds. Even think about the most joy you've ever felt in your life. How long did it really last, when you think about the emotion lasting as you were excited about it?<v Connor with Honor>A few minutes, maybe.<v Julie Hittleman>Right. The same is true of uncomfortable feelings. So if we let the weather pass, take a sip of water, challenge ourself to choose something different, the more times you choose that something different, it becomes your new pattern, your new habit, and it's easier to create a new habit than it is to go back and break an old one.<v Connor with Honor>So how many times is that very person dependent? How many times? It's because I, I eat on autopilot. It's like, it's like minding my own business. Just happy as a clam, no trauma, no argument, no irritation, just, just happy. I mean, I think I eat just because I'm happy. I've been able to put a lot of that to rest, but, you know, it used to be I would end up in a drive-thru with Jack in the Box, I would order 14 tacos, easy lettuce, easy sauce, like that helps, I would get two large Oreo cookie shakes, I'd get two large curly fries, and I would hide in the car in the parking lot, which I still see people doing that today, because, apparently, we're all kind of the same, because you can drive by McDonald's or these places and see it. I didn't have a moment to take a breath. I didn't have a moment to, oh, oh, come on, you know where this is going. You know what's going to happen. You know how pissed off you're going to be when you're done.<v Julie Hittleman>Let me tell you this, I'm no different than you, but then I got to a point where I'm like, I don't want to feel that way, not during the moment when I was getting the pleasure, but then I remembered, I don't want to feel that way after you throw away the wrapper and nobody saw.<v Connor with Honor>Oh yeah, you have to wash up a little bit, throw the trash can off site so your people don't see it at the house.<v Julie Hittleman>Yeah, I Right, and I always say we're only as sick as our secrets, and for me it was the shame of having to, uhm, you eat that way, but not wanting the judgment of people watching me because I was trying to douse the pain of grief, uhm, of a lot of other things in my life that I didn't know how to deal with. And the coaching of having I got, yeah, I lost physical weight because I changed my nutrition. But where, where I got passionate is when someone walked by my side. And didn't judge me, gave me tools I didn't have, and taught me a new way of dealing with it. Am I perfect at it? Absolutely not. Do I struggle? Still do to this day because those are patterns of behavior that have been there most of my life. They were always coping mechanisms that I used to get through traumas, to get through, you know, dysregulation of my nervous system. And I'm still doing that. And that's really why I coach because there's sometimes I see in other people what I can't see in myself. And when I'm coaching someone else and those tools come into play, it dawns on me, wait a minute, I still have remnants of that left over. And I think it really seat belted me into my health by coaching other people because I'd been in that place before. I've been in those dark, you know, recesses, like you said, of sitting in a fast food line going, okay, this is the last time I'm going to do that. I'm going to throw away the trash and no one's ever going to know. Yeah, that's the best<v Connor with Honor>argument I have. This is it. Last time.<v Julie Hittleman>Yeah. Yeah, I mean, but when you found what works, it's like nothing else to reach back and find someone else who's struggling and help them get to where you're at, and the only way I grow is having people that have been there before me that are helping me, and I think the model in which I coach in is brilliant, because really, I had tried experts, I had tried, I mean, there are things I've done, I quit smoking 8 times, it finally took on the 8th time, you know, back in 2008, after trying everything under the sun, but the difference was, on my 8th and final time, I made a commitment, and that commitment was different, because every other time, I wanted to give up the habit, but I wasn't willing to do what it took to have the life of a non-smoker. I still put myself in the same positions and places and situations that smokers went to. I never saw myself as a non-smoker. When I did finally give that decision, I quit on my birthday in 2008 and never looked back. And now, it's like, I can't even imagine smoking because I'm smoking because instead of just being an ex-smoker, I became someone who is a non-smoker. And there's a very big difference in that, because in my mind, if I was a ex-smoker, that meant I was still a smoker, I just wasn't smoking. But as a non-smoker, I was not someone who smoked. In the same sense, I had dieted my whole life, but when I chose to get healthy, it shifted my everything. And it didn't happen right away, it happened a little bit out of time until I no longer can actually get into the brain of who I was six years ago because I'm not her anymore, because I've become healthy again. And my greatest joy as a coach and what makes me so passionate, it's when you see that lightbulb snap on someone else and they see the possibilities of what can happen for them, that lights me up like nothing else. It's the joy that I find in coaching. When you find someone that is in that dark hole you once were in and you can help lead them out and they see the light and then they start running towards it and then you just have to keep up with them.<v Connor with Honor>How long has it been? This has been a six year journey?<v Julie Hittleman>Is<v Connor with Honor>that when the doctor gave you that said? And that was the doctor's words were enough or you didn't, because I mean you're a nurse.<v Julie Hittleman>I know, this was a, yeah.<v Connor with Honor>The signs and.<v Julie Hittleman>That's what I went to him for and the funny thing is I think if I had seen any other doctor but this one, and I'll explain why it wouldn't have been the same, but having been a nurse, I worked with this man for 10 years in primary care at one of the hospitals I worked at, and he knew me really, really well. And in April of 2020, I was 265 pounds, I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs, uhm, they put a mask on me, because this was the middle of the world shutting down on March 26, uhm, and I was one of those essential workers they told to show up, they put us in N95 masks, I could barely breathe, uhm, I had plantar fasciitis, my knees hurt, I had fatty liver, uhm, I had pre-diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol.<v Connor with Honor>Alcohol, alcohol back then? Was there alcohol part of the, your regimen?<v Julie Hittleman>No, I, well, occasionally, I would drink, like, wine at the end of the night when I'd come home from work because I was so stressed out working as a nurse in the way I did during 2020. But in April of 2020, I booked my first telehealth visit when we first started doing telehealth because we weren't seeing people in person.<v Connor with Honor>Oh, okay. Okay.<v Julie Hittleman>And sat, I sat like this across the screen from him, not, not much different. And I said to him, I need some Lasix. I'm just retaining water. And he's like, I've known you 10 years and you're scaring me. You don't need Lasix. Not only do I not feel like I'm going to prescribe that for you, because I'm actually sending you to cardiology. I think you're in congestive heart failure. And with your past history of being a smoker, being more than a hundred pounds overweight and your symptoms, I, I honestly can't tell you think you're in congestive heart failure. He goes, Julie, go lose some weight. You're a hamburger shy of a heart attack. If you don't do something, you're going to die.<v Connor with Honor>What a prick.<v Julie Hittleman>No, best man on the planet in my, in my book. He, he was my primary care physician. I know, but the thing is, here's the sad part. It's because I had worked with the man for 10 years. He would have never talked to one of his other patients. Most doctors won't. They'll tell you. And they<v Connor with Honor>should though. I think they should. People need to hear this. People, people are too busy. I mean, my God, 100 pounds, ex-smoker, all those medical issues, and it takes that for us. We gotta have a doctor tell us. When before we could have chosen it. Now it's almost by force. And that doesn't even work. I see doctors. People still, I, I, I did the 17-year smoking thing too. And what's interesting in the difference, I can't tell you why that hundredth time or whatever the hell it was, why I quit. I can't tell you why all the diets I ever tried in the world, why I quit eating all that food and I dropped that 135 pounds. I can't tell you why. I, I, but I'm, I'm right there with you. The cigarettes, don't care about. Alcohol, I drank for probably 16, 17 years. I mean, half a bottle of vodka every night, alone, you know, just, just for me. I would guzzle it down just like you're drinking water, just to get it. But I stopped that and I can't tell you why. I'm not sure why it worked, but you said something earlier about that little habit, the change, like more good time than bad time. I think that that's important. I think that carries forward, but you almost need somebody to tell you, and that doesn't even work.<v Julie Hittleman>No, but I think it's also, you know, my clients, they come to me because they're in pain, you know, and there's. And the pain's too much. Yeah, well, there's an old saying, there's old story about a dog laying on the front porch, and the owner and his friend are sitting there, and the dog just keeps, you know, howling. He's like, what's wrong with your dog? He's like, he's laying on a nail. And he goes, well, why didn't he get up? He said, it doesn't hurt enough.<v Connor with Honor>Uh, yeah, that's right.<v Julie Hittleman>Most of us are that howling dog. It just doesn't hurt enough till it does. And some of us are lucky, and we get the chance to write that. And some of us don't.<v Connor with Honor>Because we croak.<v Julie Hittleman>Because we die, and there's nothing we been a number of people that I've reached out to in my life to help, uhm, because I know that what I do works, and they've said no, and they've said no, and they've said no, and then they have a stroke, or something, and by that time when they come back to me and say, I should have listened to, it kills me, because I know, maybe I couldn't have prevented it, altogether, because the damage is pretty much done, but you know that you could have given them a running chance to be healthier, to go through it, or to come out of it better, and so there are people in my life that, you know, I've had to watch go through that. There's people in my life I've lost, um, because of their healthy choices or a lack of, and I can't go out there, you know, with this, like, Captain America shield and, you and I can save everyone. But I will tell you in six years as a health coach, I've helped more diabetics than I did in 25 as a nurse. And I've specialized in different areas of diabetes over the last 25 years from wound care to working at UCLA and endocarditis. And I couldn't help people. I could, I could, as I put it, mitigate disease. I could manage their symptoms with their doctor's care and carry out the doctor's orders, but I couldn't get people healthy.<v Connor with Honor>Why?<v Julie Hittleman>Cause that's not how our systems work. We build, we manage symptoms, we manage sick, we don't prevent illness, and we don't create health.<v Connor with Honor>So, there's really no cure? Or is that the wrong word to use as it applies to this?<v Julie Hittleman>I think that, you know the old saying, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.<v Connor with Honor>Pound cure, yeah.<v Julie Hittleman>And the thing is, is, doctors know how to write prescriptions. And, listen, our medicine in terms of health, of trauma, um, if you're in a car accident, if you need emergent surgery, some of the best scientific breakthroughs in medicine, yes, our, our ability to help people is immense. But our focus is not isn't on prevention, our focus is on treating once people get ill. And people think because they lack symptoms, or that they don't have an illness yet, they're healthy. And the lack of symptoms means they're that they have health, and they're not the same thing. Being healthy and being symptom-free is, is not the equivalent. Being symptom-free means that you haven't had it yet. All it takes is the slimy, slightly, you know, the minutiae of, like, just one<v Connor with Honor>more hamburger, one more piece of chocolate, one more cigarette away from lung cancer. Well, one more.<v Julie Hittleman>Exactly. You're just one more thing away versus creating health to prevent disease, to create longevity. There's no, there's a difference between health span and lifespan. I may live to 90 because of my current situation, my, my genes, my lack of illness. But when you intentionally create health. For longevity, that's a whole other ballgame, you know, people say, why are you doing this? And at first it was to do for my kids what I couldn't do for myself. And then it became doing for me what I'd never done. And now people ask me, what's your why driving you and your own health?<v Connor with Honor>Yeah, great question. What is that?<v Julie Hittleman>I'm going to be the grandmother legends are made of, and my kids aren't married or have kids yet, but damn, those kids will talk about their grandmother being just a force to be reckoned with. I'm going to get down and play on the floor with my grandkids. More importantly, I'm going to be able to get up. I'm going to hike through the mountains with them, take them paddleboarding, heck, water skiing in my 70s. Why the hell not? Because I can. That's what I'm shooting for. I am going to be able to do with them. What my mother couldn't, because my mom died at 59 years old when I was 31. She knew her grandkids for two and six years. She didn't have the impact in their lives. I'd hope she would. I'm not going out that way. If I have something to say about, I mean, the good Lord may take me before then, but I'm not going down without a fight.<v Connor with Honor>Explain to me, per your observation, what's the difference between somebody that, you know, placates you, oh, thank you, you know, so kind. I'm, I, I just, uh, you know, I'm, I'm okay. I understand that. Thank you very much, but no thanks. And somebody that says, yeah, please. And, and more than just the dog on the nail. What, what, what have you seen? What's cause it can't be just that simple where the pain gets too much because when the pain gets too much, people feed it. They say, well, who gives a crap? I'm just going to keep doing it, you know, because, and, and reflecting on that too. Well, you know, God has my days numbered anyway, so it's really not going to matter.<v Julie Hittleman>Well, I look at 98% of people have some underlying illness or. Or the starts thereof that I can help nine out of 10 Americans have metabolic dysfunction. And when they learn,<v Connor with Honor>when<v Julie Hittleman>they learn what it is, they want help. That's things like high blood pressure, high cholesterol. Type 2 diabetes or pre-diabetes. They're being put on cholesterol medications. For some women, it's PMOS, which just got a new name this year. It used to be PCOS, which was polycystic ovarian cysts.<v Connor with Honor>Oh, yeah.<v Julie Hittleman>And now it's been renamed to polyendocrine metabolic dysfunction or syndrome. Why? And the difference is, well, because PCOS, as we used to know it, that is not now PMOS is finally being explained the way that they should have explained it to women. It's diabetes of your ovaries.<v Connor with Honor>Oh, so, so now it has the metabolic in it?<v Julie Hittleman>Yes, because it's insulin resistance in the body because a lot of the extra belly fat, a lot of the symptoms they're experiencing are actually hormone disruption, and the visceral fat, which is fat we don't see, it's not that inch you can<v Connor with Honor>pinch, Peace.<v Julie Hittleman>It's that deep, deep, uhm, hard, thick fat that goes around our organs, causing our organs to have to function at a higher level.<v Connor with Honor>The that accumulates on the heart and the lungs, on the inside stuff.<v Julie Hittleman>And it starts to create disease long before we have our first baby. And so people think, oh, I'm okay. I don't have a symptom until, you know, but the visceral fat is a hormone disruptor. It interrupts insulin. And so people don't necessarily come pre-diabetic or diabetic yet, but they have the buildup of and the accumulation until it becomes the disease process that now their doctor is handing them medication for, but they can prevent it before it gets there. And there's easy ways of telling. You can go out and buy a $25 metabolic scale on Amazon. Most of my clients, uhm, get it. It's called a Rovo. It gives you 13 biometrics of your body, your muscle mass, your visceral fat, subcutaneous, your protein. I mean, it gives you a number of things, your metabolic age. And I tell people go buy the scale because what they don't realize they go, oh, I still have muscle. No, you have the appearance of muscle, but all of us are losing muscle as we age. And in that loss of muscle, you're losing strength. And it's more important to do resistance training, you know, so that you can build lean muscle so that you have strength. Yeah. Not because you're going to go water ski at 73, but you definitely want to get out of a chair at 70 by yourself instead of.<v Connor with Honor>Yeah, it's that, it's that end of life fall because you can't get your ballast setting up off the couch. You break a hip and then done.<v Julie Hittleman>And that's a huge piece of it. I tell people build that muscle. Muscle now, because that is going to help prevent that hip from fracturing or the, because skeletal muscle has a direct correlation with bone density as we get older. And so, you know, a lot of these things go hand in hand. And so it's metabolic dysfunction of our bodies that starts to actually erode at our health. So if you are preventing ahead of time because you have knowledge base, and maybe you came to me for a diet, but what you get is metabolic health. And that's the difference between someone who coaches a diet, because diet is a change in your food. But your diet is what you eat, what you hear, what you see, what you consume. And if you look at it like that,<v Connor with Honor>it's<v Julie Hittleman>not what you're eating. It's really our daily habits feed into our diet, but it's more important that we change our nutrition. Huge difference between the diet, because people ask me, well, what can you have? I can have whatever I want, but there are things I choose not to put in my body, because they don't serve me. They don't serve my goals, and they don't make me feel good. And I used to think by numbing out with food, I was feeling better, but I realize now, when I started getting healthy, is when I put those same foods in, my body does not feel the same way. And it reminds me, when I do have that French fry, can I have it? I absolutely can. Do I like the stiff joints and the soft stomachache I get after? I don't, because it causes inflammation in my body. But I recognize that now.<v Connor with Honor>So because you're eating, uh, you've been eating a particular way for a while, once you go outside the own, your own guidelines that you've superimposed on your body, yourself. Once you go outside, you can feel. So what, what was wrong before? You couldn't feel it because you never knew what it was like to have a better metabolic approach to your own health.<v Julie Hittleman>Absolutely. Because I had been living so unhealthy for so long. Um, but. That it was just, I was so used to it. You know, think about the things we do are even our bad habits. We learn them. Good habits are the same way. And so. I just, that's just how I did it. And we're human. We don't like change, no matter how bad we feel. We're back to that dog until it was so uncomfortable for me that I reached out for help. And instead of looking at me and saying, well, get off the nail. He pushed me harder on the nail, got me to get up. And when I did, once you see it, you can't unsee it. Not when you have that choice put in front of you. And. And so how I feel now, I have more energy than my four venti blonde coffees a day would give me and my two liters of Dr. Pepper, which is what I was drinking instead of water. And when I, when I started hydrating with water, how much better I feel. And it wasn't something that happened overnight. It was a little at a time and that's what I needed. I made small, consistent changes over time and pretty soon, instead of going back and breaking every bad habit I've ever had, I started creating new healthy habits. And one after the other, they became what I did until six years later, the person sitting in front of you would rather choose a protein-wrapped hamburger and maybe some, you know, um, sweet potato fries. and even then I probably wouldn't get the fries, I'd probably get a side salad, but it makes me feel better. Can I have the fries, coke, and, and a burger? Absolutely. Do I want to feel that way? Probably not, because it'll take a couple days for the inflammation to go away. And I feel like crap the next day, and my joints hurt, and, you know, I'm post-menopausal. I already feel like crap. You know, it's like, how can I make myself feel less crappy? But that's a huge piece of the people that I, I also work with. Women who are going through these hormonal changes in their body, feels foreign to them. And I went through those changes in the throes of my health journey. And those are another group of people that I help. And it's. It's like, we think our body is foreign to us and it doesn't respond the way it used to. And so that's another thing. It's educating people about their body. And it's, it's really a way to teach them how to care for it long term. Something most of us were never taught.<v Connor with Honor>True. Even like basic, basic finance. It doesn't, it doesn't seem to be a class on how to hold on to your savings and not, not spend too much. What, what's that, uh, what's that number one thing that, that you think sets people, I mean, look at, looking in on this from, you know, after you explained to me, God, just, it feels overwhelming. It feels like, oh my God, I mean, one habit at a time, thinking of how many habits I have, I, I can't even imagine trying to break and then trying to research and figuring out where, where to where this may stem from and trying to heal that. Cause most of the people that probably caused the damage, if it wasn't me, you know, they're gone. There's nobody to follow up with at this point, you know, where's that?<v Julie Hittleman>Well, I think the beauty is, is you don't have to know it all. And you don't have to know it on demand. But what I'm going to show you is some simple habits that you won't have to think about after a while. If I said here, eat six times a day, I'm going to show you what to eat, drink some water, get some sleep. That's all you have to do right now. Pretty simple. And then as you have capacity and clarity and that becomes second nature to you, it's like, cool, let's add some more. Then you tell me, hey, Julie, uhm, I went out with some friends and this happened, cool, not shame on you or why'd you do it or you were bad, right? It's, okay, let's walk through it. What happened? What did you want to have happen?<v Connor with Honor>Right?<v Julie Hittleman>What piece was missing? What do you think you could do next time that would help you be successful? Just those questions changed my life because I didn't have to condemn myself for a choice I made, but I got to look at it with someone else and walk through it and say, you know what? In hindsight, if I had done this, it probably would have gone a lot better. Cool. Next time that happens, remember that and then put that into play. And if it doesn't, we'll come back to the drawing board and go, what happened? What did you want?<v Connor with Honor>God, I got so many questions. You, if you could go back, you're, you, you started your journey six years ago, 2026. So 2019, 2020, if you could go back 10 years from this point, if you could go back, what would that be? 2016, and, and talk to yourself as this person that has realized all this, what, what would you say?<v Julie Hittleman>I was recently asked that, and it's funny because it makes me cry. No, it's because I was, I thought I was so broken back then that I was beyond repair. And if I could go back and say just one thing to my former self, I think it would be. It's inside of you already. No one's coming to save you because you don't need saving. You're going to save yourself. And I know you know this, but for the last couple months, I've been creating a blog called Dear Her, writing to the woman I used to be. And I always sign it with the thing that I was fearing the most back then because I no longer do. And in a way of going back and talking to myself. My past self to say, you're not her, here's who you become. And if I think of if me now went back to me in the past, and I saw the future version of me now standing in front of me saying, I'm you. This is who you become. Have faith in yourself. Everything you need is inside you already. You just need to discover it. But this is who you become. I think the encouragement of just seeing me today walk into my me. past self and say that, and knowing that it was me, I'd have a bulletproof belief that I could be, do, have, and become whatever. Without doubt. Wow. And that's because someone believed in me before I believed in myself. And that's what I get to give my clients. You don't believe in yourself? I believe in you. Because I've been there. I've been you. I've struggled with that. And the same thing you just asked me, you may not believe in yourself right now, but believe in me, because I know it's possible. And there's so much more that's possible for me that I haven't even tapped into. But if current me could go back and inspire past me, if future me walked through the door, I'd follow her anywhere. I'm unbothered by what I'd have to go through, because I have that unbreakable belief that I can be, do, and have. I can whatever I want.<v Connor with Honor>Let me get out of this, because I'm going to continue to cry. My estrogen is high, because I take testosterone, so we're not going to go there. But so, let's, let's move into, and that's, that's, that is a phenomenal answer. And that one comes from a enablers. You, you, you're with somebody that apparently can eat everything, or they've seen you fail at this thing so many times, and every time you start trying to go down this road, you irritate the hell out of Everybody. So, what, how does that work? What, why is this time any different? What, what does that conversation look like?<v Julie Hittleman>Well, I know for me, the people I irritated the hell out of, they didn't want to see me succeed because my success. was proof that their excuses didn't hold water.<v Connor with Honor>Oh, that's interesting.<v Julie Hittleman>Yeah, so if I succeeded, they could no longer use it as an excuse. It's, it's kind of, if you've ever heard of the crab, uhm, theory of life. Pulling them back. Crabs are in a crab trap. Even when the food runs out, if a crab tries to make it out, the others will pull it back in.<v Connor with Honor>That's right.<v Julie Hittleman>And, and that's really what it is. It's anything, not just your health, anything. When you accomplish things. Things that other people, uhm, tell you are impossible, that's their limiting belief talking, not yours. Uhm, and it's them not having faith in themselves, but if you succeed, then they believe they have no excuses left, and they don't want you to succeed, because then they have to actually turn the mirror on themselves and look inward. They don't like that. Most people don't. They don't want to have retrospecting view of themselves, because it hurts too much. It's bringing up their self and their pain, or their pain point they don't want to deal with, or even address yet. And I think oftentimes the people that sabotage us, it's not that they don't love us. Uhm, my biggest saboteur lived in my house with me for two years. Two years while I was getting healthy, my husband watched me and did everything he could. But my resolve was, I'm going to do this with or without you. And after two years, the man finally joined me.<v Connor with Honor>I've seen the pictures. It's remarkable.<v Julie Hittleman>Yes. So, and he, he lost 103 pounds on the program, so<v Connor with Honor>there's no<v Julie Hittleman>doubt, but I was like, either you're coming with me or you're going to watch me, but either way I'm doing this. And I think when you get, you know, and it's not easy, it's, it's not an easy thing. And a lot of my clients, the same thing, they have spouses, children, friends, you know, work, anybody, uhm, but you would just get to that point, you know, uhm, everybody was feeding us in 2020 as a health care worker because of.<v Connor with Honor>Oh, sure.<v Julie Hittleman>I<v Connor with Honor>was a cop for a long time, there was always free food everywhere.<v Julie Hittleman>Right, hero As a<v Connor with Honor>real estate agent saying, free food, everybody's bringing food. Right. And it's not, it's not hard-boiled eggs.<v Julie Hittleman>No, it's never hard-boiled<v Connor with Honor>eggs,<v Julie Hittleman>of course not. And it's so funny because during 2020, there was a doctor at work and she would buy me veggie pizzas and say, well, there's vegetables on it. Or she would get me egg spring rolls and say, there's vegetables in it. And she was actually the one who set that thing in motion for me very early on. She goes, well, you can't do that. And I looked at her and I said, no doctor, I can have whatever I want, but I choose not to. And I think that<v Connor with Honor>phrase, oh, the frame, it's perfect. Yeah. That's, that's, it<v Julie Hittleman>was empowering. Empowerment instead of disempowerment. It was, I, it was, I can have whatever I want, but it was my conscious choice. And that statement alone empowered me to choose differently instead of what I couldn't have. And, and I think that was like really the starting point. Of my mindset starting to shift.<v Connor with Honor>Yes.<v Julie Hittleman>And, and the things that I chose not to, uhm, people are like, but we have potlucks at work. So did I. A lot of them. And I did something different. During my actual active weight loss journey. I still gave the $5 like everybody else for the potlucks or the ordering of food. One caveat, instead of partaking in the food, I asked that I be the first person to sign the contract. The card for whatever occasion it was in lieu of the food, but I still paid my money and they honored that because I was sick of being the person who had to figure out where on the card to sign at the back by the scan code, you know? Yes, yes. There was no more room by the time I<v Connor with Honor>got it. It already made its rounds, yeah.<v Julie Hittleman>Right, but that gave me, yeah. And people have<v Connor with Honor>no respect when they're signing a card, you know?<v Julie Hittleman>Right? So, right, they make it really big. So, for me, I got to partake in the festivities. I got to be part of that person's celebration. I still felt a part of the office, you know, festivities.<v Connor with Honor>Mhm.<v Julie Hittleman>But I didn't have to partake in the food. But for me, I set the boundaries for myself in that. They honored those boundaries, and I still felt like I could participate the way I wanted to, and I could still show up. It was just a shift in my mindset, and that's really what it is, is what do you want more than what you don't want? Because I always say, when your why is bigger than your but, then you'll get there.<v Connor with Honor>Tell me, tell me your position, and you said, you know, you could have it, you're choosing not to, the whole world is built around moderation, and, and, you know, you can, you know, you deserve it, and, you know, it's okay in my, even out there. I drink so I go drink alcohol in moderation, I'm back, you will find me, I don't know where, but probably unconscious passed out, because I'm still gonna drink the same amount I did before, and, I know myself. I can't do that same thing with pizza, or cake. It's not a one-lays-potato-chip world for me. It never will be. I, I can't do it. And, and I think part of me wants to stand up and be that, you know, go ahead and tell me I can't have something. It's like I'm always operating from a point of revenge. I'm gonna show you. You know, somebody tell me I, I can't I shouldn't smoke anymore, or you can't quit. You, you've tried to quit, but you can't quit. That's all it took.<v Julie Hittleman>Right.<v Connor with Honor>Okay, yeah, let me show you. You know, I'll show you right now. Where does moderation and, and that stuff come in? Is it, we shouldn't? We can't? How does<v Julie Hittleman>it work? That's, I think that's a decision someone needs to make. I know what I do for myself. I know what my clients do for themselves. It's really a choice of what you want to do. You know, I've had so many instances that remind me why I don't do things, and it wasn't because I always chose the, the, it. Thank you. Thing I wanted most, I've had those moments. I'm still human. It's like free will. Thanks God. Um, you know, you go, but<v Connor with Honor>they didn't become a binge or they didn't become a, you know, three week bender on, on some hotel room.<v Julie Hittleman>Right. Right. But just like you were saying, you don't go back there. So I literally last week went and had lunch with some girlfriends at a very healthy restaurant. I mean, we go there because I can have healthy options and it wasn't that it was an unhealthy option, but even knowing what I know about my life. And this is going to sound really stupid, but I had some hummus and pita and in eating the pita, it set off the little monster that sleeps in my head when sugar's involved.<v Connor with Honor>Yeah, yeah, yeah.<v Julie Hittleman>And by the end of the night, I was craving hummus. Chocolate. And I'm like, I didn't eat anything out of the norm, except I had pita and, and that is a set off for me. Do I not ever eat bread? No, I eat bread. But when I do, I need to set up a lot of sturdy guardrails because that, that I call my slip a lot of a slide because it can set off a, a binge in sugar for me. But knowing that I did what I do, I sat and I sat with the feeling of, I want to binge sugar and I drank some more water and I distracted myself. I went to bed that night. I woke up the next morning. I wasn't craving sugar. Now, had I started pounding sugar, I probably would have gone on a three day sugar binge. I know this of myself and it's not that I'm perfect. But I don't want to go down that road. So I do things differently and in moderation with the PETA. But I know that that's going to, if I choose to have that, I better be prepared because later that night I know what I'm going to go through. Yeah. Is it worth it to me? Do I have the resolve where I'm at right now to make that choice? But that's that if then becomes the reasoning that all, all of us have, but do we ever use it right? And it's knowing what I told you, those same simple things. Simple questions. What happened? What do I want to have happen? What was missing and what can I do next? I guarantee you 25 times before I may have failed 25 different ways until I figured out Bye for now. Those questions led me to what can I do so that if I choose to have that that I have set in place so that I hit the guard rail, and I don't go over the cliff. And so it's taken me years and practice and failure to know what works for me. And I tell my clients they have to figure out what that is for them. I can't instill that in them, but I can give them the tools of those questions. And say, ask yourself, because if it's important to you, you'll figure it out. But how often do we have someone take us aside and say, let me help you figure it out. We don't, we bang our head against a wall until we're sick of banging our head against the wall. And then we just quit.<v Connor with Honor>Well, everyone. Everybody wants to think that this time is going to be different. This time I don't need anybody's help, just like all the other times. And you, you got slapped really nice and square by that doctor. And then you found the right person that understood you and was willing to speak to you and that time with you. And, and I guess most importantly, you were ready to hear it.<v Julie Hittleman>Yeah, I mean, I had to be in that place because, I mean, I had done Weight Watchers, lifetime member, lost over a hundred pounds, gained it all back and then some. Nutrisystem, lost over a hundred pounds, gained it all back, and then some. Jenny Craig, lost the weight, got a GI blockage, lost Jenny's number. I tried, you know, SlimFast, I did Atkins, I did the cabbage soup diet. You name a diet, and I'll I guarantee you I've been on it, done it, or tried things that most people won't talk about. And honestly, I was considering gastric bypass.<v Connor with Honor>Yeah.<v Julie Hittleman>When my coach said, give me 30 minutes. And the thing is, is I watch people go through a surgery that reconfigures their GI system. And I was one of those people considering it. And isn't it funny? They make you lose weight before you can actually have the surgery. It<v Connor with Honor>makes sense. Yeah, yeah,<v Julie Hittleman>And so, that's kind of where I was at. So, I was exhausted with all the choices and all the failures. And I didn't want to try one more thing, not because I didn't think it was going to work. But I was afraid of failing one more time and in front of other people. Because I didn't want to proclaim to the world I was doing this and then fail publicly. And honestly, the first picture I shared of my health journey on Facebook. Was because I was so excited that in 60 days what I had achieved, because I was no longer her. And someone said, how brave of you to throw that out there. And it wasn't brave, it's that I was succeeding. I hadn't had a win.<v Connor with Honor>And you're not her anymore.<v Julie Hittleman>No, I wasn't her. It's, it's,<v Connor with Honor>when you put up that, that before picture, you know, people, people are still themselves. But when you, you, you beat this demon, that's no longer you. It's easy to show. Once, once you really get mentally in that, in that mode.<v Julie Hittleman>Yeah, but I was only 60 days into it. And I was only<v Connor with Honor>down, at<v Julie Hittleman>the, at the time, you know, 60 days in, I had gone from 265. Pounds to 229 pounds, 60 days, and my belly button had moved two inches north.<v Connor with Honor>I was,<v Julie Hittleman>I was excited. And, you know, someone recently said, thank you so much for sharing that picture over and over again. And I often say, it has been the key that has unlocked so many silent prisons. Because if I could share the vulnerability of throwing that picture out there, and someone could identify themselves with the vulnerability of where I was, that maybe there was hope for them. And they reach out, and I can help them.<v Connor with Honor>How long did it take you to decide after you started this journey, this journey that has worked, how long did it take you to decide to become somebody that wanted to take a larger role? Help other people. I know you've been doing it as a nurse and I get that, but this is, this is<v Julie Hittleman>a lot. I'll tell you the day it happened. It was August 31st of 2020. Um, and I know this because one of my staff at the time, because I was so busy. Wouldn't. And I used to send everybody to my coach. I don't have time. I'm busy. We're in the middle of a pandemic. I don't have time to coach. I don't have time to breathe. I was actually looking to get a second job, um, because how we were suffering financially at the time, but. But this one person would not go to my coach and I signed up to coach her. So she would do the program. Cause I knew she needed it. And I knew she was in a worse place than I was with her health. And then she got COVID and never got And I actually was going to not coach because I was only signing up to coach her. And my coach said, go help some more people. And I will say that I helped a lot of people in the next couple of months. But I think what really clicked for me. Was when four months into my own coaching part of the journey, uhm, around January, and I was helping a lot of people. It felt really good. To lead someone else out of the darkness. And I say that you fall in love with coaching one client at a time. And thousands of clients later, I'm like, thank God that Jasmine wouldn't go to my coach. My life would look so different because I don't think I would have taken on the coaching if it hadn't been for her one decision, just like that one decision to get healthy for myself. Would I be sitting here six years later in the same way? I don't know. But I think be careful what you ask for because you will be shaped into the person who you need to become in order to achieve it. And what that took was coaching others, recognizing my own pain and other people and growing along the way. And now I can't think of something else I would rather do because I can change the trajectory, not just of my clients' lives when they walk alongside me. But there's a little girl out there who may not even have been born yet. Her whole life is going to be different because I helped someone she cared about get healthy and it'll be a struggle she never has. And that fires me up every day.<v Connor with Honor>Powerful.<v Julie Hittleman>Every day.<v Connor with Honor>Julie, you, uh, you really, this, this was not surprising but just phenomenal. Thank you for taking the time to speak with us today about, about things that are so sensitive. Progress and your why it's so important.<v Julie Hittleman>Thanks, Connor.<v Connor with Honor>Where can people find you? I'll include it in the notes, but where, what, how, how would somebody, you know, they're going to watch this? They say, you know, she, she said. Sounds real. Also, she's done it and she's still doing it. And that's huge for people because, you know, I can see the buck 20, uh, you know, hot, wholesome female, you know, trying to show, but they haven't had the issue going through it is that's, that's huge. And just you labeling the diets that you tried, that's valuable, hugely valuable. How do they find you?<v Julie Hittleman>Well, they can find me at HittlemanHealth.com, which is a great way to learn about not just me, my story, what I do, but some of my clients I've helped. And also who I work alongside and partner with. You can find me on Facebook and Instagram under Julie Stern Hittleman, which is pretty easy to do. Or just reach out and, you know, I'm all over Google as far as I'm I know,<v Connor with Honor>so there's<v Julie Hittleman>different ways to get ahold of me, but those are probably the best, you know, message me. Um, my, my contact info is that hittlemanhealth.com. Um, and they can actually take a free metabolic scan and learn where their health is currently at, if they're curious. Um, and it'll give them some information about metabolic health. So if they're curious what that is, or they just want to learn more, I'm open to a with them to educate people because education and knowledge is power.<v Connor with Honor>Thank you. Thank you very much, Julie. It was really a pleasure.<v Julie Hittleman>Thanks, Connor.<v Connor with Honor>Ladies and gentlemen, that's been Julie Hiddleman. Just, uh, yeah, just brought me to tears. I get it. And fantastic work. Julie Hiddleman, really, really helpful in this entire world when there's so many people that are, that are overweight, that are battling with demons beyond their demons, just ways to put this to rest. She really is just a fantastic person. Knows her, knows her craft. And is always learning, always leveling up, and we wish her well. We will see you guys in the next one. Thank you for watching TheHonorRollShow.com. I'm Conor with Honor, and I hope you have a fantastic week, and we will see you soon. Thanks for watching.