14 Gospel Principles for Parenting (part 1)

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Transcript

James: 0:26

up from the ashes, hope is alive, death is defeated, and the king is alive, which is which is good. A good song and it is really helpful. As I said, it's been a privilege to be at least part of this. I know Pastor Doug has been taking us through the series, and then you've had some elders and their spouses come and share with you about parenting. And believe it or not, we're down to our last three weeks here, three or four weeks of meeting to gather. There have been several principles in that, in the time that I've gotten a chance to talk to you, I put some of them on the board. One is the fact that when God created us, he created us dependent. It is so important to remind ourselves of the fact that we are not autonomous people. We are created in dependency. If you remember the very first verse of the Bible, it says in the beginning, God, and so it establishes that there was. A God, and we know him to be the triune God that triune God existed before everything. He created everything. And scripture will tell us that he created everything out of nothing. So it's important to remind ourselves that there is God in everything else's subordinate to him. So we are dependent, we're dependent upon him for everything that we have. So keeping that in mind is important. Second is that the fact that we were dependent upon counsel that. When we were created, God created us in need of counsel. That's what he did with Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve needed to be directed. So I want you to go name the animals. I want you to be fruitful and multiply, and I want you to be able to eat from everything except for that tree. So God had to counsel Adam and Eve. They were counseled and directed so they even in their state, perfect state, they weren't all knowing they needed to learn. And the same with us. When we take our last breath, when we go to heaven, we're going to spend eternity learning. And now I'm not going to be hindered and you're not gonna be hindered by sin, but we're still going to be learning from an all-knowing God. It's not like we're going to become all-knowing when we get to heaven. We're gonna spend eternity learning and growing at the feet of God, which is just amazing. So we're dependent, one, dependent upon counsel two. But then the third thing is so important that we will be molded, shaped and changed by the counsel that we listen to. Molded shaped and changed by the counsel that you listen to. I often say this, that whoever has your ear impacts your mind. Whoever impacts your mind, impacts your heart, and whoever impacts your heart. Influences your life. So it's so important to be very careful of what you listen to and what that's where the scriptures tell you, be very careful what you put your eyes on and what you listen to, because that will impact the way you think and how you feel your heart, and then how you live. Now everything in that scenario was fine. Genesis one and two, that humanity was dependent on God's counsel and they were molded, shaped and changed by God's counsel. And everything changed in Genesis chapter three. When a new counselor came in, new thoughts, new words, new beliefs, new intentions, new convictions came in, and that humanity was then molded, shaped, and changed by that. So this is important for me and important I know for Pastor Doug as well, is the fact that so many people today, parent based on worldly counsel, not biblical counsel, not godly counsel. And so that kind of parenting is going to lead to molding, shaping and changing based on those worldly principles. And so that is why oftentimes we will have children and families that look more like the world than look like the word. And so it is important to go back to as is titled of the series, parenting by the book, going back to seeing what God's word says. May I put three more words up there before we get started? And these three words, I think I shared with you in one of my talks. They're, we are called as parents to be a model. We're called to be servant. We're supposed called to serve and we're all called to teach model, servant, and teach. Model. There are some people that are really good with giving good counsel or truth, but they are not modeling it in their own lives. So it's like the parent that says, don't smoke, but then they smoke the parent that says, be respectful to your mom, and they're disrespectful to their spouse. And so what we do is we say the things, but we're not modeling it. And parenting is really important because we need to model. The truth. But then the second piece of parenting is that we need to serve them. If you remember in Mark chapter 10, verse 45, it said, Jesus Christ did not come here to be served, but what to serve right? And to give his life as a ransom for many. Now, if the Lord Jesus Christ, the second person in the Trinity came here to serve, we are called to serve as well. He says, the first shall be what. Last and the last shall be first. He said greater love has no one than this, that he what lays down his life, right? For his friends. All of those principles in God's word are calling us to serve one another. And so that's exactly what went. Opposite in the Garden of Eden is that we were called to serve God and called to serve each other and then we started to serve ourselves and wanted everybody else to serve us. That's what sin does. So model, serve, and then finally teach. We're called to disciple and I put it in that order because I think it's so important. If we don't model it, we're not, and if we don't have a heart of service, our teaching is gonna mean nothing. It's going to be fruitless. So if my children don't see me loving my wife, how are they ever, how can I ever teach'em to love their mom? If I don't show them respect to themselves, if I don't show respect to them, how are they ever going to learn to respect me? That model that's serving leads to teaching. So just keep those in mind as we go forward. The greatest counseling manual that God has ever given us is this book. Okay? So I don't want to, in any way ever say that a book that I'm going to highlight now is better than this book, okay? The 66 books that God has given us, the 40 authors, the 1500 or more years that God has given this book, people bled and died. People are. I often say this word is sufficient. It's eternal, it's authoritative, it's life giving, and it's life changing. I want you to keep that in mind. However, God has over the centuries given us men and women that have been able to take God's words, the principles and promises of God's word and put them into a pathway for change. And one of my favorites is Paul David Tripp, and I was trying to think I've met a lot of famous people. So I've either sat in their ministry or met a number of these people, right? I don't think I've ever be. But I was trying to think, I don't think I've ever met Paul David Tripp. But there's probably not a person around that is up in the top, I'll say in the top five when it comes to biblical counseling, and discipleship. Then Paul David Tripp. I've learned a lot from this man. So he has discipled me in many ways from afar. And I commend all of his books, but one of this book that we're going to talk about today is one of one of my favorites, and it will talk about 14 gospel principles for parenting. And what we're going to do over the next couple of times we're together is just work through those principles and talk about each one of them and try to figure out how we can apply those. And I think what you're going to find is this, everything that Pastor Dug has taught us over these number of weeks, everything that I tried to come in and those. Lesser times and what the elders have tried to teach you and their families are these gospel principles. So let's try to summarize them and let's start with. Principle number one. Principle number one is it's a calling. This is so important. There's nothing more important in your life than being one of God's tools to form a human soul. We often to talk about calling and calling is interesting. We talk about calling as a pastor. We call talk about calling to ministry. We've had missionaries here and they'll talk about their calling. And you wonder what does it mean by calling. And I think what God does is he gifts people with talents and gifts and abilities, and then he gives them opportunities to use those. And every person in this room, if you're in Christ, have talents, gifts, and abilities given to you by God, and then God wants you to use those to help others. And so when we think of calling, often, think of those professions, pastoral, elder, a missionary. But I want you to think of yourself as being called if you're a parent that you're called, that there's nothing more important in your life than being one of God's tools to form a human soul. I want you to think of that significance of the holiness of God calling you as a leader of a human soul, as you keep that in mind and as you keep that picture in mind that God has called me to lead this young person and to guide them, it's so important. God has placed you on site right now in this child's life. Now, your children may be old and they may be out of the home, but it doesn't matter. You don't stop being their parent. You may exercise differing levels of authority in their lives, but you can still model, serve, and teach even today as a parent. And so when we think of this young person, especially coming out of the womb, we're forming the most significant thoughts, the most significant desires, the most significant passions out of their lives are coming by way of your teaching, your modeling, and your serving. This kid doesn't come out as a blank slate. In fact, they come out marred, they come out sinful. David said in Psalm 51 that I was sinful in my mom's womb. And so that sin nature is there and you as a parent, modeling, serving and teaching them help to craft this young person they get to, you get to know, or they get to know God's world through you. They get to see God's thoughts through you. They get to experience God's passions through you. They see that in your life. And I want you to think about the fact that this is one of the greatest callings that you can have and what tends to get in our way are possessions. What tends to get in our way of our work. I got one figure out three hearings point back. One of the things that I did, I failed on is that I would get involved in a lot of different ministries and getting involved in a lot of different ministries, I thought that I was fulfilling God's calling in my life. And, but my greatest calling is what? Parenting, parenting and being a spouse to Amy and a parent to Abby, Hannah, and Isaiah. And I will say with Abby and Hannah, I spent a lot of time working, doing the ministry of God, but maybe I was not there serving and modeling and teach teaching in the way that I should have. I think I've gotten better when it comes to Isaiah. I still need to correct some of these things. So what are some things that can get in the way of that calling? That to be used as one of God's tools in forming a human soul. What are some things they can get in that way? Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. You say that with almost like three boys. Three boys. Oh, that's what it is. Sports. Three boys. Yeah. Yeah. Sports can get in the way. What else can get in the way of that calling parents' job? Job. Job. Yeah. Or jobs. Yeah, that's right. Usually it's jobs with a, yeah. What else? I think your own identity can get in the way. Identity can get in the way. And I will tell you, identity is going to be on the list. Number five. So if I get to it today, meaning who you are, what you I guess I'll wait to say that I know you. You can say that. Think of mothers thinking that being a mom. Up. Have to, so we can wait. No, but that's right. Yeah. So that's the world putting Yes. What pressure of what the world says you are. Yeah. What the world thinks your identity is. Yeah. Should be. Absolutely. More than staying in God's word of what? Financial insecurity. Financial insecurity. Yeah. Struggle to support your family. Struggling to support your family. Yeah. Possessions. Material possessions, this home, this car, whatever it may be. So God doesn't call us as parents because we are able, God calls us as parents because he wants to do something through you. So just keep that in mind. Principle number one is this is a calling and as, as important as it is to be a pastor, which I think is a huge calling or a missionary, you also have a high calling a great calling to shepherd your young people. That moves us to principle number two. Principle number two is that God never calls you to a task without giving you what you need to do it. He never sends you without going with you. And so this is this is really important. Grace is gonna be a huge piece. And hopefully you've heard that over the weeks that we've been together that we fail constantly. I don't believe that I ever get through an hour without sinning. Very honestly, because if sin is not just what we do and what we say, but it's even the thoughts and intentions of my heart how many times am I honoring God in everything that I do? I don't. I fail. Constantly. And so that's why it, that's why grace is so important. And it's important to understand grace as me as a parent and for you as a parent. But it's also important to be able to teach our kids grace. And we'll talk about that in a moment when we get to law, but you are called to remind yourself that you are not able, but who is? God is able, you're not infinitely wise, but who is God is. You're not infinitely strong, but who is God is? And so when you start to think about that who is. You're not completely faithful, but God is. And so when you keep those principles in mind and when you remind yourself that God is the wise one, God is the strong one, God is the faithful one. And when we fail, what is there? There's even more grace. Grace upon grace. When we are weak, there's strength. When we don't know there is wisdom. When we're left to our own devices and our own abilities, our own abilities come up so short. For so oftentimes, and so we, we have a Savior in the Lord Jesus Christ, who has invaded our lives. That Savior has left heaven to come to earth, to take on a human body. Truly man and truly God. And he walked here. He lived here. He breathed here. He died here, rose here, he ascended. And that same God now invades your heart. Galatians 2:20 says, I've been crucified with Christ. I no longer live, but who is it? Christ lives in me and the life I now live. I live by faith in the Son of God who loves me and gave himself for me. So even the life that I live, the husband is, if I'm truly allowing God to use me as a tool in life, Christ will love Amy through me, Abby and Hannah and Isaiah through me. God will do that through me and through you. And so what does that do? That gives us an opportunity to be able to confess our failures. How many of you as parents, and I don't want you to say out loud, how many of you have ever sat down with your kid and says I was wrong? Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. It's shocking as you sit down and counsel with people. Sometimes people are not able to own their own weaknesses. They're not able to accept the fact that I failed. They can't admit that they were foolish, and so they can't admit it to their spouse and they don't admit it to their kids because they think that if I admit that to my kid, then everything's going to be turned upside down. And I actually think it's exactly the opposite. You are forming a foundation for them of 1 John 1:9, that if I confess my sin, He is faithful and just to forgive me of my sins, to cleanse me from all unrighteousness. You model that when you are able to tell them I fail but let's go to the Savior who is the one who never fails, and the one who will wrap you in his forgiveness and grace. So we parent by the glorious, the sufficient, the tender, the forgiving, the gracious love of God in the gospel of Lord Jesus Christ. So principle number two, grace. God never calls you to a task without giving you what you need. And he will never send us without giving us going with us. You're never alone. Ever. Psalm 139 says you go to the Heights and you're there and you go to the depths that he is there. You can never go outside of his presence. Okay. That brings us to principle number three. This is a big principle, guys. The law principle number three, the law. Your children need God's law, but you cannot ask the law to do what only grace can accomplish. I think one of the biggest mistakes that we make as parents is thinking that rules and regulations are going to transform our kids. And so what we do, whether it's God's rules, Which sound better or our rules, which we've made equal to God's rules, which are not as good as all at all. Those rules and regulations don't ch change our child's heart. It won't produce the fruit that we want to see in their lives. And If that were true, let's be honest. If it were true that our rules and regulations, our obedience following would have worked, then Christ died in vain. Christ would never have had to come here. He would've died in vain if we could have done it on our own and we can't. I have had a lot of surgeries in my life and most of them in gastrointestinal. And so I would go to a gastroenterologist and that person, man or woman, would press on my stomach and they would press in certain places and they would say do you feel pain here? Do you feel pain here? And so when they would do that, if I felt pain. The question I have for you is this. Are they the reason for my pain? Are they the cause or the genesis of that pain or are they revealing the pain? Revealing? They're revealing the pain. So what, it would be foolish if they would hit, push on an area and then I had pain and I'd say I'd never go back to a gastroenterologist again. How foolish would that be? Because they found things that were happening and were able to correct them. So through surgery or medications. In the same way. I think that maybe a similar way. The law does the same thing in our lives. The law presses on certain areas in our lives and exposes the problem, but the law is never meant to. Correct. Yes. The law is a model for godly behavior. Yes. The law reveals sin behavior, yes. But the law is never meant to be the savior. It's always law. Then leading to gospel. And there are so many families that get this out of balance. They will have, they will be stripped with law, but there's no gospel, there's no grace. Or they are giving you gospel, but they're never telling you that there's a law. God loves you. God wants this great relationship with you, but they never tell you that you're a sinner in need of his grace. And so that we get out of balance, the law has no power to change a human heart, but what it does is it exposes our hearts. And then what it is that we are infused by God's grace to change. And Grace will never point you to a direction that is wrong. It will never say that wrong is right. Grace will never do that. But on the opposite end, if wrong, were right, then we would need no grace to be honest with you. So grace moves towards that struggling young person. Grace moves to and towards that rebellious child. Grace moves towards that disobedient child in love and in tenderness, and in hope and passion because we were moved towards by God, Jesus Christ came here to rescue rebellious, wayward people like you and I. And so if he did that for us, we could do that for our children. And the most powerful force in the universe is God's grace. So the law exposes our need and it brings us to the grace of God. Principle number three. Principle number four, for inability God has given you the ability to recognize that you are not able, you're unable to do. Es essential and good parenting recognizing what you are unable to do as essential and good parenting. I didn't read that well. So God has called us not to be perfect parents. You'll never be a perfect parent. At least this side of heaven. Because we have inabilities, we cannot change our own heart. L and we can also not change our children's heart. We do not have the ability to do that. And so when we are able to say, I can't. He can, and I don't know if I've used this with you before. I have this phrase. I can't. He can. He has. He does. He will. I can only in him. Okay. I can't, it starts with the inability. I need to remind myself of the inability. He can. So it goes right from I can't to Christ can, or God can, he has meaning. He's done that in the past. He does. It means he does it right now he will, because he's always going to do the right thing and then I can only in him. That's why Jesus could say, I, that I can do all things through Christ who I It gives me strength it, and without him, without connection to that vine, I am worthless. I am fruitless. I'm going to flounder. Our inability is not a bad thing. It actually drives us to the one who's got the ultimate ability it, and so there is going to be a tension in your homes. Paul Tripp talks about there's going to be a tension in your homes and in your lives when you don't admit your inability. So what you're gonna do is your force of your nature, the force of your character, the volume of your voice, the control that you will exercise over somebody to get them to do what you want them to do is going to come out because you don't admit you're not able. And every time you do that, what ends up happening is that the little rebel that you're dealing with is going to start to rebel against that. And so like you're gonna fight each other, you're gonna go higher, they're going to go higher, and somebody's just going to keep going and somebody's gotta come to a place where they say, I am going to model, I'm going to serve, I'm gonna teach. I'm going to remind myself of the counsel of God that God is the Savior here. He is the director. See, we're called to be God's tool. We are called not to be the God in this relationship. We're called to be a tool in God's hands. And when you forget that, and when I forget that it will create tension, it will create distance, it will create discouragement in our lives and in our children's lives. So the fourth principle is that we are unable the inability that leads to fifth principle. This is where we're going to that identity piece. Identity. If you're not resting as a parent in your identity in Christ, you will look for identity in your children. If you're not resting as a parent in your identity in Christ, you will look for identity in your children. I think I've used it before with you. There's seven questions I ask of people at a counsel. The first question is, who am I? It's the identity question, and it's trying to get them to define who they are. And the problem is that people tend to define themselves horizontally rather than vertically. They try to define themselves. Through earthly things rather than spiritual and eternal things. And so I'm a husband what happens if my wife leaves me, Lord, willing, hopefully doesn't, or I'm a, I am a pastor. What happens if I lose the calling here? Does that mean I lose identity and so what? Or I'm a parent. Then I won't let my child leave home cuz you know, I'm going to hold onto them. I'm gonna clinging to them. If you hold on to these earthly things as your identity, you're going to clinging to them. But that's not our identity. Our identity is found in Christ. And who am I? Why am I here As a purpose question, what's the meaning of your life? What's the purpose of your life? That's really important. My third question is, what's your greatest? What's my greatest problem? So we tend to think our greatest problem is where outside of us. You are my greatest problem, my wife, my kids, everybody else around me is my greatest problem. Tim. Doug. This church. Everybody around me is my greatest problem. No, James, your greatest problem is you. My greatest problem is who is in the White House, or who's in the governor's mansion. It's, and we fight and we rebel over this, and it's guys, my greatest problem is me, and your greatest problem is you. And who am I? Why am I here? What is my greatest problem? Where am I going? I, that's future. Trying to think about where I'm going in the future. And there's only two paths, heaven or hell. And we, I think we tend to forget that there's only two places that people will spend eternity. And when we can keep that in mind, and I really want to be on the direction towards heaven, and I really want everybody that care about to be in that same direction towards heaven. Who am I? Where am I? Why am I here? What is my greatest problem? Where am I going? What is true? And what is right? True is veracity. And what is right is morality. So what is the truth? Not what the world says is truth. People say, I have my own truth there. That's baloney. There is truth and there is not truth. And so I want people to find truth, not my truth, but God's truth. And then what is morality? What is right? And then my last question is Christ enough? That's the sufficiency question. Christ we believe and we say, and we preach and teach like, all right, Christ is enough, but do I to really model that in my life? Sorry, I gave you those seven questions, but those seven questions start with that first question of identity. If on that, on the end, you really only have two places to go for your identity vertically or horizontally. That is it. So we will either go vertically and spiritually and eternally with our identity, or we're going to go horizontally with our identity. And our children are a miserable way to find your identity miserable because they're broken people. And so if I'm finding my identity and my kid is just fouled up again, it's oh man, I'm just a worthless parent. I'm terrible parent. And so now what we do is we find our identity in broken things, which makes no sense. And so if I focus my identity on their success now I'm going to push him or push her to be what I want them to be. You need to go to college. You need to have this career. You need to have this, you need to do this. And so what we do is when we do that, and that's why I can't stand Facebook at times is that we always have this perfect picture of a family. The mom and dad and the children all, they all look the glean, I call'em the gleam team. They all look perfect. And you never see a bad hair day on Facebook. Ever. You never see a bad day when the kid is like, Ugh. And it's or I'm like, Ugh. You never see that. What you're seeing is the perfect day. And that's not where our identity comes from. And if your identity is focused on success or reputation, then you will start to become more controlling. And I want you to know this, one of my favorite authors, Jerry Bridges, find his books. He has this line that your best days are never so good that you're beyond the need of God's grace, and your worst days are never so bad that you're beyond the reach of God's grace. So you could be as good as possible, but you need God's grace. And you could be as terrible as possible right now, but God's grace is greater and he can reach you. And so when you think about that identity that my worst days, I'm still accepted, I'm still loved, I'm still blessed. If you go into my office, I have this phrase that I used with my clients and one of my clients made it for me. It says, I am infinitely loved. Totally accepted, completely forgiven. And what would it feel like if you could live your life infinitely loved, totally accepted, and completely forgiven? Number five, rest in your vertical identity, not in your children. That leads number six. This is a process. Parenting is a lifelong process. You must be committed as a parent to long view parenting because change is a process, not an event. This is a big one as well. For some of us, it is not one singular conversation that is all of a sudden going to change. Isaiah. James Long, it's like, So I sit down with Isaiah and I say, okay, here's the conversation. I nailed the conversation. And now he does everything perfectly from there forward. Therefore that's not true. It's like you're building thoughts and you're building beliefs and you're building character over time. And it may be a series of conversation. Counseling is over and over again. You're pouring into people's lives or teaching classes you're pouring into their lives and you teach them in principle and they get a little bit of it. And then you do it again and they get a little bit more and you do it again, and they get a little bit more, and maybe they'll go back three steps forward, but then they'll go back one or two steps back and it's like they get so discouraged. It's don't worry about this. This is a process. You're growing and you're being transformed. Parenting is a process, and when we see the sin, the weakness, the failure of our child, it's not an accident. It's God's grace that when God is showing you their sin and God is showing you their failures. God is giving you this opportunity to be able to see things that they can't see. And that's so encouraging because you can see, and then you can point them to the savior. You can point them to the one that is going to do it. God is revealing to you these truths, these, and that's where the ongoing pattern of grace needs to be applied in their lives over and over again. You apply that grace in your life personally, and then you apply that grace out of your lives relationally. And so now as you do that, every conversation is an opportunity to show God's grace. Everyone, every conversation is a little step along the path. It's a Chinese proverb that a journey of a thousand miles begins with what one step. And so if you can think about that, that every step along the path of life is a journey towards exposing our failures and pointing a person to Christ because it's not I, but Christ. And so as I do that, remind myself, it's a process not about perfection. You're never going to have a perfect day. It's not that they're going to all of a sudden arrive. It's I have over 30 years of counseling. Had only a handful of clients that I've worked with where it's been one session, told them the thing, and then bam, things changed in their lives. The vast majority is weeks and months and sometimes years of working and pouring into a person's life hour after hour so that they could start to get it process. Alright. I'm going to try to get number seven lost. As a parent, you're not dealing with bad behavior or just bad behavior, but a condition that causes bad behavior. You're not dealing just with bad behavior, but a condition that causes bad behavior. This is so important. We are sinners who are lost. Now we come into this world as lost people. I think the way Tripp is using it is in two ways. There's a lostness eternally, and there's a lostness that we do periodically. So let me start with the eternal lostness. Our child does not come out like some theorist, counseling theorist would say is that they are good people and they have all the answers within them. And some counseling theories teach you about just putting your arm around this counselee and letting them find their own answer and find their own wet path of freedom, and that they have the answer within them. That's just baloney. It's just the lie right from hell. They don't have the answer. That is why people need to be counseled and they will be molded, shaped and changed by the council that they listen to. So we need to lovingly direct them. Jesus Christ was a man full of grace and full of what truth. He didn't just come graciously and put his arm around people, he pointed them to the truth. And so this is so important. We are lost sinners and outside of the redemptive work of Christ, and without the regenerative work of the Holy Spirit, we are lost and on a path towards eternity in hell. But then when God rescues us, There's still a lostness that is within us. We're on our path for heaven. We will never be off that path. We are justified eternally, but, and we were ransomed, we adopted all of those things, but that rebel was inside of me as the same rebel that was there before I was saved. And that lostness affects me and I, and you need wisdom from God. We need his guidance. We need his power. We need his purpose. We need his pleasure. We need the plan. And every child comes into this world with two lies, and the two major lies are that they are autonomous and that they're self-sufficient. Autonomous is the fact that they believe that everything my life belongs to me. I can do whatever I want with my life. That's the greatest lie that we've been hearing today. This is my life. I could do whatever I want. I going to call myself a boy when I'm a girl. That's what I can do. I want to be with this person. I want to do these things. You can't tell me what to do. It's the lie of autonomy, but there's a lie of self-sufficiency. The lie of self-sufficiency is I have everything that I need within me. And those are two the greatest lies that we have. And those two greatest lies cause us to resist the authority. Remember, in the beginning, God created. It, causes us to resist, and it puts us on a path of lostness. And every time I go down that path, it leads to destruction in my, our lives. And the lies it causes us destruction in our lives and through our lives, and we need to be rescued. And that's what Christ does. He rescues lost people. He gives wisdom to those that lack it. He gives power to those that are weak. We are lost and he has found us. And when you look at your child, when you can think of the fact that your child's greatest problem is not behaviorally, he's not making his bed or he is not doing his homework, that's external, that's just fruit. What is underneath the surface is either their child is not a believer and they're spiritually lost, or they're going back to the rebel within them. Now they are saved, but they're going back to the rebel within them. And what do they need? They need a redeemer. Who's going to rescue them? Who's going to transform them and change them? And so when you do that, you're not just seeing little rebels, but you're seeing lost people in desperate need of a savior to rescue them. Radically different way of looking at things. Okay? Okay, that's seven principles. Principle number one, calling principle number two, grace. Principle number three, law principle number four, inability. Principle number five, identity. Principle Number six, process. Principle number seven, lostness. That leads us to our greatest principle as we close four words, not I, but who Christ. It causes us to run to the cross and just thank him for his. His perfect life because I have never spent a perfect hour as a husband or a father, his substitutionary death that my sin deserved eternity in hell, and he paid it all for me. His powerful resurrection and the fact that he has ascended him to his father's kingdom, and he seated right now at his father's right hand praying for me as a parent. That should just bring us great hope. In the midst of the hopeless situations, the world doesn't have the right counsel. I'm telling you, they're going to take you down the wrong path. Let God's work counsel you and lead you. Let's pray. Pastor James. Yeah, please. I look at and all of us and can't help but think what a blessing it is for Anna Dylan to sit in on something like this at that point up there. Yeah, we didn't have it. I don't think we had anything like this. No. And yeah, it's it is great when young parents listen and heed. But I would say this I may not have had a Paul David Tripp's book, but I had people that were there and sometimes I just didn't listen to the counsel. I was like, I just chose not to listen. And we either had to figure it out or we figured out that maybe the older lady I was telling about the older lady across the street in my last sermon who prayed for me there were a lot of people that were there that may not have been able to say it as eloquently as pest as Paul David Tripp does. But they gave me some principles and the thing about it is there's a rebel within inside of us. We can do it our way and we'll make it right. And I'll just plead with you, because I'll tell you after decades. And do it his way. It's an easier, it's an easier path. It's harder, but it's easier. It's harder because it goes against the rebel within you and the rebel of the world, but I will tell you, it will lead to a greater level of joy, peace, and hope in life. More solitary too. Yeah, it's a more solitary, it can feel a lot more solitary if you're doing it his way except look at this community of believers. All right? So when you're in the world, when you're in the world, oh yeah. Very solitary. Thank you for your in input today and next week. I don't remember who the elder is, but he's the elder's gonna be here next week. And then, Lord willing, if you hold onto your sheets Lord will, I'll get back to this on June 4th if God gives me that opportunity. So let's pray. Woo. It's that late. Lord, I thank you because you're the greatest parent in the world. Father. There is no father better than you. Some of us had really. Challenging fathers, difficult fathers fathers that weren't there, whatever it is. Painful fathers, hurtful fathers. But we have a father that loves us infinitely. I love you for that. We have a brother, a big brother who is willing, was willing to die for us. Our best friend. We have the greatest counsel in all the world in the Holy Spirit. Lord, I pray that you would remind us of your Triune nature. I pray your Triune nature would impact our lives. I pray that the gospel would impact our lives, this church, our homes, for your glory. Take us to service now. Prepare us to hear your word. Prepare us to sing your word. Prepare us to be led by your spirit. In Jesus name, we pray amen.