#128 "Adulting" Advice For new Junior Officers in the Fleet | Reflections from my Navy Journey

The Academy is a controlled environment. The fleet is not. The day you commission, “adulting” stops being a meme and becomes the difference between a stressed-out junior officer and a steady leader your sailors can trust. 

I riff on the lessons I wish every new Navy JO heard before reporting to a ship or submarine. We start with work, because leadership is not just being competent, it’s being a champion for your people. I break down what that looks like in real life: spending the extra hour to clean up a package, hand-walking paperwork up the chain of command, and showing up to the skipper with a plan so a sailor can get leave or training without the mission taking a hit.

I also challenge the question I hear all the time: “How do I be the #1 JO?” I explain why that framing can drift into self-centered thinking, and how a mission-first, team-first mindset tends to take care of your career anyway. 

Then we go to a topic people avoid but everyone feels: officer privilege. Being in the know, having easier access to resources, a shorter chain of command, more privacy, and more benefit of the doubt are real advantages. I share why acknowledging that reality builds credibility, and how you can leverage your access to reduce friction for the sailors who don’t get the same ease. 

On the life side, we hit practical deployment and personal finance habits like power of attorney, autopay, and finding a fee-based financial planner if money isn’t your thing. We also talk about relationships, loneliness, and why you have to be intentional about friendships once you’re no longer living down the hall from your best friends. 

For any real estate questions, please text me at 650-282-1964

To stay most up to date with Grant, Naval Academy updates, and real estate insights, follow him on LinkedIn

The mission of Academy Insider is to guide, serve, and support Midshipmen, future Midshipmen, and their families.

This podcast is independently produced and reflects the views and opinions of its creators. It is not officially affiliated with, endorsed by, or representative of the United States Naval Academy or its affiliates.

Grant Vermeer your host is the person who started it all.  He is the founder of Academy Insider and the host of The Academy Insider podcast. He was a recruited athlete which brought him to Annapolis where he was a four year member of the varsity basketball team. He was a cyber operations major and commissioned into the Cryptologic Warfare Community. He was stationed at Fort Meade and supported the Subsurface Direct Support mission.

He separated from the Navy in 2023 and now owns The Vermeer Group, a residential real estate company that matches service academy families with trusted real estate teams all across the country.  Text (650) 282-1964 with any real estate questions.

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Transcript

Welcome And Purpose

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Welcome back to the Academy Insider Podcast. Today's episode is just gonna be a little bit of me riffing about adulting advice for the class of 2026. As you're getting ready to hit the fleet, I just kind of want to take a moment to share my thoughts, my insight, my perspective, and my reflection upon my time as a junior officer, upon my relationship with my wife and our time going through, you know, immediately after commissioning to um, you know, being junior officers in the fleet. There'll be some conversation about work, there'll be some conversation about life, there'll be some conversation about finance, and just all the things that would wrap into being an adult. Again, the Naval Academy, as wonderful of a place as it is, really takes care of everything for you. And so once you hit the fleet, it's kind of a a shock. It's kind of hits the face of the reality that you are an adult and that you need to not only take care of yourself, uh, but take care of the sailors and marines um that you're in charge of and handle your own family life, your financial future, your world, and everything of the above. So we're gonna talk about all this stuff. Again, I'm not a financial advisor, I'm not gonna give any real like financial advice from like what you should do, but rather factors to consider, things to think about, questions to ask, and my general advice on some of this stuff. So make sure to take a listen. Uh, if there's anyone in your class that you know you're interested in uh, you know, passing this along to, I'd love it. And uh reach out to me anytime. Email grant at academy and center.com. Feel free to hit me up on LinkedIn, uh, anywhere. If I can be a resource in any way, shape, or form, help uh answer any questions or just you know, give my thought or feedback on anything, just say the word. I look forward to it. I hope you enjoy the episode. Thanks. Before we get started, I want to make a quick disclaimer to make sure that everyone knows Academy Insider and myself, Grant Premier, are in no ways official representatives of the United States Naval Academy, the Navy, andor the Department of War. What I'm doing here again is just trying to provide a little bit of context perspective and understanding for the Naval Academy journey. But my use of the Naval Academy and conversation about them does not imply endorsement from the institution. If you ever have any questions directly for the Naval Academy, I encourage you to reach out to them directly and the Public Affairs Office. I appreciate it. Thank you so much, and I hope you have a great listen to the episode. All right, let's jump into it. Um, we're gonna just be talking about notes for adulting. And uh, I love this term adulting, millennial Gen Z, I feel like this idea of uh the fact that you're not a kid anymore and that there's a certain level of responsibility and obligation that you carry in your day-to-day life. And um, I'm excited, I'm excited about the opportunity to talk a little bit about it. Uh I feel like what's crazy is I still look back sometimes at photos of me and midshipmen, and I'm like, dang, like I look like a baby. A baby. And I swear to God, like I feel like I was just at the Naval Academy. I still feel like I'm 18 from time to time. Like I want to still be a child, but the reality is I graduated almost 10 years ago. I'm 30 years old. Uh, I'm balding. That's why I'm wearing a hat in this video. Um, all the above. Like, life hits you fast. Um, but man, I just like there's a lot of things that uh I'd love to just leave my thoughts about. Look, I'm not the answer to everything. I don't know everything. I haven't experienced everything. Uh, these are not demands, these are not hard takes, these are just, you know, hopefully me sharing a little bit of my perspective and experience in a way that might benefit someone. So um we're gonna start with work, right? Obviously, like being a junior officer in the fleet, all this stuff. Like, you get a million conversations at the Naval Academy, you get a million talks from people about how to excel as a JO, how to do these things, how to, you know, uh master your tactical or like technical competence. It's all great. It's all important. It's really important that you're competent at your job. It's really important that all these things happen. So, again, I'm not gonna go into it. The first thing that I want to talk about that I feel like potentially gets overlooked is that you need to be a champion for your people. Um I think you're gonna be amazed by your ability and your opportunity as an ensign, as an 01, fresh out of the academy, at 22 years old, to be able to make a positive impact in people's lives if you just make the effort to do so. And this isn't about giving them some grand life advice. This isn't about uh, you know, saving them from something. This quite literally might mean spending one extra hour at work to review a package that they're submitting, to make sure that everything's squared away, that everything looks good. You review it with your chief, you double check it, you make sure everything's in accordance with like the routing procedures and how everything's going, and that you hand walk that folder to your department head to present it to them, to hand it to them, and to give them a little context versus just dropping it in a box and allowing the department heads to just read it and then make a determination. But rather advocate on behalf of your sailor, get them that education, get them that leave, get them that ability to do something that will advance their life or their career. If you can do that for your people, if you can champion the simple things for your sailors, it's just gonna, it's just gonna dramatically change your world. People will know that you have their best interests in mind. People will know that you will go above and beyond, you will make an extra effort to positively impact their life. And when you demonstrate that time and time again, guess what? They're gonna take care of you. If you take care of your people, your people are gonna take care of you. It's it's literally just that simple. And so, again, my number one piece of advice for these young for these young JLs. What the? Who the heck am I? Uh, for you, if you may be listening, is be a champion for your people in the simple things, in the create, in the silly things. Like do the uncomfortable thing, hand walk, uh, actually look at the correspondence, make edits, make adjustments, and then champion that package, walk it to the department head, walk it to the skipper, do these things and have a conversation with face-to-face and let them know. Again, if you're gonna give someone, uh ask them to have an ability to take a week of leave that's gonna impact your watch schedule, show up with a proposed plan of how you're gonna cover for their absence and that it will be okay, that you will be able to take care of the mission, that the mission will not suffer, and look your captain in the face and say, We have a plan for this, we're gonna be fine. And get that sailor their week of leave, or get that sailor their month-long training that's gonna help them towards advancement, that's gonna help them promote, that's gonna make them in their family more money. Those are the kind of things that you can do to positively impact the lives of your sailors or your Marines. Take it seriously, be the champion for your people. I think um, you know, I've gotten a lot of this actually. It makes me know that I'm old now. It makes me know that I'm old now. Now that I'm getting the question of, hey, Grant, like, how can I be the best JO possible? Like, how can I be the number one EP? How can I be the best? How can I be the number one N center, the number one lieutenant? Well, you know, like now I'm not like giving peer advice, I'm giving old person advice. Um here's my thing. If you haven't listened to my last episode, it's funny, is I just gave this advice um to the plebes. I think, uh, and please don't take this the wrong way because I asked the exact same questions. I asked the exact same questions when I was in Ensign, right? Like just so this isn't a judgmental reflection. This isn't a judgmental response. Um, I understand. I asked the same questions. But with perspective, I I see, I empathize, I realize that that is the most absurd question of all time. It is a crazy question, uh, and it's a juxtaposition to the reality um of the values of selflessness and teamwork, which you're supposed to truly embody as an officer, right? This isn't about your individual success. This isn't about you being the best. This is about supporting the mission and taking care of your sailors, right? And I think sometimes, you know, we look at it and we're like, how can I be the best? Well, it's like, yeah, I want to be the best so I can be the best for my people, like all this different stuff. I get it. I get it. But that question is self-intentioned and it's self-centered. It just is, right? It's how can I be the best? How can I be the number one evaluation so I can get the next orders that I want, that I can achieve this higher rank, that I can achieve these billets or do these things? It's self-centered. It's self-intentioned. Um, it just is. And I think you need to be having, you know, really the question of, you know, at the forefront of your mind of like, what can I do to make the ship better? What can I do to make the submarine better? What can I do to make my division better? And if you operate out of that space, if you stop worrying, stop worrying about being the number one ranked junior officer, stop worrying about be being the best, and just worry and focus and put your intention on how you can make the division better, the ship better, the submarine better, whatever the case is, then the rest will take care of itself. It will. If you approach this next phase of your life with true humility, with confidence, right? Like you still should be confident in who you are and your capabilities and what you provide. But again, C.S. Lewis, the definition of humility is not thinking less of yourself. You need to have that confidence. You need to carry with you a certain level of ego and pride in yourself and your abilities. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less. If you can do that, if you can operate from a place of humility, from a place of contribution, a place of how do I help the mission, the team, how do I be the ideal team player and know your role. That your role as an officer is different than the role of the E3. It's different than the role of the E5. It's different than the role of the chief. You being a team player means you know your role as the junior officer, as the division officer. You embrace that role and the things that are uncomfortable about that role, and then you excel in that role. And if you do that, then your people will do the same in their roles, and the division will function well. Things will do like be good, the rest will take care of itself, and your division is a highly functioning division. And guess what? That reflects very positively about you. But that starts with a true sense of a desire to contribute to the team. If you can contribute to the team and know your role and embrace your role and excel in your role, and dominate the responsibility of being an ideal team player, an ideal teammate, the rest is gonna take care of itself. The rest is gonna take care of itself. So um, final thing on work. Final thing on work. There's a really awesome page on Instagram. Uh, a woman by the name of Alexis Travis. She's uh she's an 04 supply officer. Um, not an academy grad, but an incredible naval officer. And she made a post that I was just like, I it's it's what I've always known. It's what I've always felt. Um I never articulated it. And so I'm just gonna repeat some of these things because I think it's so darn important, like unbelievably important for this idea of adulting in the workplace for yourself. Um and that is as a naval officer, you need to understand that as a naval officer, you have an immense amount of privilege. And that may feel weird, it may just feel like normal because that's your baseline and that's that's your foundation. But you need to know that you have a ton of privilege as a naval officer, and that uh your your sailors, they see that they recognize that. And if you try to deny that or pretend it's not real, you are going to lose credibility immediately. Immediately. Be self-aware, be reasonable, acknowledge the realities, and still just be a good person. It's part of your role. Again, it's knowing your role, embracing your role, excelling your role, understanding that your role comes with certain benefits, it comes with certain privileges. You're not here to like pretend they don't exist or deny that they exist. You acknowledge them and just continue to be a good dude, be a good person. And again, the rest will take care of itself. And when I talk about privilege as a naval officer, there are a couple of things that are really important to touch on, right? The first is that you are almost always in the know. Now, on this side, as a military spouse, and like my wife goes on deployment and the ship happened and the ship's changing schedule and these things are going on. Like, yeah, guess what? As a part of the wardroom, they know what's going on way before anyone else. When I was a junior officer, when I was an officer on the ship, yes, we have a top secret clearance. Yes, we're a part of the operations brief every day. Yes, we're involved in again, we call it the sausage baking. We're building the operational plan. We know what's coming down the pipeline, we know what's gonna happen, we know what these things are are going on, which makes changes easier to absorb. It allows you to plan and prepare more than other people would. Um, and that's just it's huge. You're just in the know. You you understand what's going on, you're a part of everything. Whereas so many times your sailors have no idea what's going on, they have no idea what discussions are being had, they have no idea how decisions are being made, they have no decision or like insight into what's going on and how that impacts their life. Think about that. How frustrating that would be if you didn't have all of the insight. As silly as it is, like again, it's it's the T of the work world. You you get it all, you're in the loop, you you know everything. And if you weren't, you'd be like, but I just want to know what's going on. Like, what's going on? What's going on? You know what's going on, they don't know what's going on, and that makes your life way easier. It makes your life significantly easier to process and work through. And so acknowledge that like you have that privilege. Second thing, access to resources and spaces. As an officer, guess what? You might literally have your own laptop or laptops for the wardroom, or like the laptop in your division space, like there's one for you. And then like the rest of the sailors have to share one amongst the 12 of themselves. So your ability to check your emails, do tasks, see things, communicate with your family, whatever the case is, you have access to resources, you have access to spaces, you have access to everything that not everyone has all at the same time. I think about it a lot. Like on the submarine in the wardroom or in my spaces, like as the officer, I always had a laptop. I always had a laptop. And like in the wardroom, there may be three or four laptops for the 12 of us. Whereas, like in the, you know, uh, in the common spaces on the submarine, there's like four laptops for the 90 or 100 of the sailors. That's a that's a huge difference. That allows you to complete tasks, get your admin work done, it allows you to do things that promote your job, move things forward, um, and an ability to like make things happen easier. Makes your life easier. It does. Three. You have a shorter chain of command. And this goes back to being the champion for your people, right? You have a shorter chain of command. If you want something, you can just like go walk, knock on the captain's door, and be like, hey, hey sir, hey ma'am, uh, you know, I'm gonna be requesting leave. Uh I I need to do this, blah, blah, blah. And they say, Great, yeah, put it in and I'll approve it right now. Like that. Like that. And you have the ability to interface with the exo, with the captain and the department heads, just like that. You go talk to them. You knock on their door, you do that stuff. You could have a plan of something that you want to do, and you get the okay from the skipper the day of. Your sailors, they want to do something like that. They got to route a chit all the way through, submit things. Again, like the number one meme you see, or like the number one funny thing you see on TikTok is like when officers are making content online, they're like, you know, a bunch of comments like, sir or ma'am, like get off, like, get off TikTok and approve my leave. Look, like, if an E3 needs to route something up the chain of command, they need to submit a special request shit. They need to go on leave, they need to do this stuff. It doesn't just go from like me being able to walk into the captain's office and ask. They gotta go from them to the LPO to the chief to then you to then the department head to then the skipper. It's like seven or eight routes up the chain of command that might take them a week to 10 days to get something approved. So now they're delayed in their ability to book things. Now they're delayed in some of these things that are happening. Whereas you just like go walk down the hall, knock on the door, hey, sir, ma'am, permission to come aboard. Yeah, hey, this is what's going on. Uh, you know, I'm thinking about routing this shit. Is this okay? Yeah, awesome. But guess what? You can do that for your people. You can champion the process and make it much smoother for them rather than just dropping it in a box and hoping they get to it at some point. It gets returned to you a day later with a question on it that you could have just answered in at the moment. Anyway, understand that you have the privilege of a shorter chain of command. It's huge. Along with that, is that you get the benefit of the doubt. Always. Something goes wrong, you're not there. You put on your calendar that you gotta go to a medical appointment. Oh, yeah, no, sir. Uh Grant is uh Grant's at medical. Oh, okay. Is everything okay with him? Yeah, I think it's just a routine checkout. Oh, awesome. That's it. That's it. So many times, you know, sailors don't get that same level of opportunity. They don't have that same privilege. There's much more scrutiny, there's much more lack of privacy, there's much more involvement in the chain of command about their whereabouts, about what's going on, about what's happening. You, as an officer, you get the benefit of the doubt. Just acknowledge it. Just acknowledge it. Don't pretend it doesn't exist. Privacy, security, living quarters. A bunch of officers get state rooms. You're sharing a room in a private space with two other people, three other people. The majority of your sailors are living in like a common public birthing space. They don't get privacy. They don't get the opportunity to decompress and relax. They don't get the opportunity to just chill, dude. In in private. You do. You got a state room. Both your roommates are on watch or out somewhere. You're you gotta just take your boots off, sit in that chair, be depressed for a little bit, and just breathe. Not have to worry about anything. That's a privilege. That's a huge privilege. You can escape. In the middle of the day, you can escape for four minutes, for five minutes. When you need a breather, when you need a break, you can escape. It's a privilege. Food. Food. Dude, the wardroom? The wardroom's great. Yeah, is all the food the same, basically. But when it comes to portions, when it comes to asking for stuff, like you're gonna have CS and they're gonna come like deliver food to you. They're gonna take your order. You can ask for certain things. You can ask that the eggs be cooked a certain way. You can ask that something is added or removed or whatever the case is. You can ask for additional portions, you can ask for these different things, and they're gonna do it. That's a that's a huge privilege. It's a huge privilege. You're gonna have more space. In these rooms, you can potentially store more snacks, have healthier things, bring some stuff on. Like these are huge benefits to your world. Just acknowledge it. Anyway. It's a really good post that she has. I encourage you to go look at it. Uh the goal of this again is you shouldn't, it's not about like feeling bad. It's just about self-awareness. About it's about acknowledging that this is the reality, that you have certain privileges. So don't ignore, like, don't pretend they don't exist. Don't deny them. Just acknowledge them. Continue to be a good person and utilize your privilege in a way that is going to help your sailors. And if you can do that, then they're gonna, then they're gonna appreciate you for what you are doing, for leveraging the opportunities, the privilege that you have in order to help the team. In order to help your team, the division, the department, whatever it is, do what you can to take care of your people. Be a champion for your people. That's what I got for work. Now moving on a little bit to life. First thing. It's classic. It's common. It's the world we live in with social media and everything. Um don't compare yourself. Don't compare yourself to your peers, to the people around you, to anything. You're gonna see peers who are going on these crazy vacations, taking fun trips, posting stuff from these different places, doing all these things, buying homes, doing this stuff, and you're like, how do they, how do they have the money? I'll tell you what, sometimes they don't. Sometimes they don't. Don't compare yourself. Just do it the way that makes you feel comfortable. Do it the way that is right for you. Live your life. Don't try and compare yourself to anyone else. Don't try and match someone else. Yes, there are good times to have mentors and people that you're striving to be like. That's incredible. That's not what I'm talking about. Don't try and unnecessarily flex. Don't try and do all these things. Just like, don't compare yourself to other people. Live your life. Run the mile that you are in. It was something my sister talked to me about. Shout out, Paige, man. Girls full of wisdom. Um, you know, she's talking about marathon training, and you know, sometimes it can be really difficult. When your brain, you know, you have to run 26 miles and you're only in mile seven. If you think about the 16 miles that you got to run, it's gonna be devastating. It's gonna be devastating. And she told me that in her training, the best thing that could have ever happened to her was just reiterating and talking about the idea of focusing about running the mile that she was on. Running the mile that she was in, focusing on that mile. And that applies to so many different things. But for you as a junior officer, like just live your life. Run the mile that you're in. The rest, like, don't compare yourself to other people. Do stuff that is disciplined, do stuff that is reasonable, do stuff that is mature, do stuff that is smart, do stuff that is strategic. But in the in the lens of your life, don't compare yourself to other people. If you can do that, I think you're gonna be a lot happier. You're a lot, a lot happier. Second thing, this one's more of a tactical thing. Assign a power of attorney uh to a spouse or to a parent, someone that you have inherent trust with, or set up auto pay on everything. But again, I like having a power of attorney with someone you genuinely trust just to make sure that you're not missing anything, to make sure that while you're out to see, like you're not defaulting on anything or not making payments to something that is gonna make a permanent or drastic impact on your finances or your future. Um, I I it's just really important. Uh, it's just really important. It's it's a security thing, it just prevents you from making a silly mistake, a stupid mistake that can impact you in a very serious way. Um, so just make sure that you're like really taking that seriously before you go on deployment. Okay. Um three, again, part of adulting, part of being an adult is taking care of yourself and taking care of your family and your future and your future family or whatever the case may be. And that includes money, right? And so this is where we're gonna get a little bit into like the financial side here. Um if money isn't your interest, if personal finance is not something that like you super enjoy and you're researching all the time and that you're like really thinking about, um, get a financial planner. Get a financial planner, like force yourself to have these conversations, force yourself to think about this stuff, force yourself to create uh a flow of your money so that way it's going where it needs to go to be responsible prior to you having the ability to not be responsible with it. And when I talk about a financial planner or financial advisor, um, I really believe that they need to be fee-based. If your financial advisor makes their money based on like selling things or selling products or doing things, that's not a that's not a financial advisor, that's a salesman. Um, and I fall into this all the time. Again, like I sell real estate. Like, yeah, like I get paid when a sale happens. That's the reality of it. And um that's probably why I'm not a great real estate agent. Uh it's like I'm I'm I swear I'm convincing people all the time that like buying a home doesn't make sense for them. Back to like, don't compare yourself. You're gonna see people who are buying homes in every single duty station, and good for them. That's incredible. That doesn't need to be you. You can be wildly successful without doing that. And I think sometimes people put themselves in a hard spot doing that. You can do it, it's smart, strategic, and it can be very successful. Just don't think it's the only way to succeed there, right? And so um having a having a smart, trustworthy financial planner, someone that you can have these conversations with, someone that's gonna make sure to hold you accountable to responsible behaviors uh is really important because whether or not you like understand it now, being really responsible in your 20s uh is going to set you on such an insanely positive trajectory. Um, you know, this isn't meant to be like a flex or anything, but like I'm so grateful that both my wife and I were responsible in our 20s that has made it like even if we never contribute to another dot, like another dollar to our retirement accounts, we're still probably gonna be okay when we're 70. And that's like a really comforting thing that gives us a lot of flexibility in our life now in our 30s, and when we're getting ready to start a family and plan, you know, what that that phase of our life looks like, we have we have flexibility. So just be responsible with it. It doesn't mean you need to like invest every single dollar. It doesn't mean you need to follow all these fancy strategies. Um, just be reasonable, just be smart. And if that's not something that's interesting to you, like, oh, I don't know how to be smart about it, then then get a financial advisor, get a get a financial planner. Um, and if you don't know where to start with that, reach out to me. I don't have business relationships with these people. Like I'm not gonna get, I'm not gonna get paid if I introduce you to a um a financial planner. Not here. This isn't uh anything like that. I just want to see that people get taken care of. Uh, I've been blessed to know a lot of people who are really successful. And again, they're financial planners that are best for people at certain phases in their life. I just helped like a class of 07 grad get in touch with somebody who really, again, like specializes on high net worth veterans. And uh, you know, this guy's doing well, very um, very well off. And so it's perfect one there. And then I also know people who are much more suited, like better advisors for young junior officers who are just trying to build a financial plan that allows them to start their life on good footing. And so um just take it seriously. Take it seriously. It's the best thing that you can do for yourself. Be an adult, be an adult, be reasonable, take care of the stuff that you need to take care of. Four. Um invest in your friendships and relationships um and be intentional about it. I went through a really dark period. Um 2018 to 2020-ish, 2021. Peak of my Navy career, deploying all the time, four submarine deployments in like a three and a half year span, never home much. Um didn't make a point to invest in relationships. When I came home, I just locked myself away and just wanted to be a recluse and um you know do certain things. Uh it wasn't good for me. It wasn't good for me. And you can be very lonely uh as a junior officer in the fleet. Life is hard. Life's really hard. And it's a lot. And sometimes you just feel like you want to just like uh quote unquote relax, decompress. Um, but when you're continuing to decompress in isolation, you're just continuing to build this reality that it's okay to be alone all of the times. And I think isolation is a beautiful thing from time to time. Uh, there are a lot of times that it's very peaceful uh for me to be alone, to be by myself, to be reflective, to think, to ponder, to do all these things, and that's great. Um but I just encourage you to be very intentional about maintaining relationships. Again, you're gonna go from like living next to all of your best friends, all in Bancroft Hall, all basically on your floor, a four-minute walk from each other, to being spread around the world. And you're gonna have to make new friends, you're gonna have to do everything in your power to maintain relationships with the people who are spread all over, whose lives are just as busy as yours. Um, and um, you know, in this past year and a half, I've been so lucky to rekindle the friendship with one of my good friends from the Naval Academy, um, you know, Sean Anderson, basketball player, uh, who's out here in San Diego with me. And it's just been it's been the most special thing to have such a a deep, genuine friendship uh with somebody. And that's where I failed. I think I do a good job of putting on like I'm pleasant with everybody. I have a lot of what I consider like friendly acquaintances and friends, genuine friends who like we talk, we catch up, we do this stuff. But to have someone who's like uh truly there for me, um it's really special. I'm lucky for people like Christian Blanchard, for Jeremiah Harding, who are you know in my life and that I've really um in the past two years made sure our relationship uh we talk way more and we've seen each other more. Um Brian Rudd, another Naval Academy guy, who just, you know, he really, if it wasn't for him, like that was gonna be a really deep dark time in my life from you know 2017 to 2020. He's always been there for me. And you know, we just went to Scotland last year. We took like a 10-day dude's trip um and got to explore and hike together and travel, and it was unbelievable. And um the more you go through life and the more difficulties that there are, um investing in your friendships is gonna be a really important thing. It's gonna be a really important thing, and I just encourage you to be really intentional about it because it's very easy to slip and and be alone. Yeah, it's very easy to be alone. Um so try not to do that as best you can. Final thing. I know it may be tough. I'm scared. Um, you know, a lot of the times what's going on in the world, the state of everything. Um my wife's active duty. I don't want to see, I don't want there to be war. I mean, I never want there to be war. Um I know it's scary, I know you may be scared. Um, but also I encourage you to think about the fact that like your family may be scared, your sailors may be scared, and the families of your sailors may be scared. And if we go back to being a team player, your role and responsibility for the people that you love and that are involved in your life is to be a good communicator. Talk to your family about what's going on, talk to your sailors about what's going on, and realize that even though you may be feeling all of those emotions as well, um you can make an impact in people's lives by being able to deal with your own emotions and take on the burden of others. That is the special part about being a naval officer. So um I encourage you to be a good communicator, realize that you're not the only one who's feeling everything that you're feeling, and do everything in your power to assist in easing the burden of other people while dealing with your own. And uh if you can do that, you can do all those things. You can be a champion for your people. Uh, you can be a great team player, you can know your privilege and still utilize it in a way that helps your team. Um, you don't compare yourself, you take care of your financial situation in your life, you invest in friendships and relationships and uh and you communicate with your family and your sailors. Um I think you'll be better off than if you don't do those things. Uh I'm not here to say that like this is gonna solve life's problems. I'm not saying it's gonna make being a J-O easy. Um, but I think these are you know potentially good lessons to start off adulting in the fleet. So um I hope that's helpful. At any point, reach out. Again, I I'm a civilian now. I uh basically work from home. Um, and uh if I can ever be a resource for you in anything, just reach out to me. Like I'd love to help. Uh the the opportunity, I don't know if you guys have ever seen this. Um it's a uh oh, it may be from shrinking, it may be from Ted Lasso. If you don't watch Apple TV shows, you need to watch them immediately. They're the best shows on TV. Um wow, for the life of me, I can't remember like where it exactly it's from. But um here's the reality having the opportunity to help you is the greatest honor that you could give me. I I think it's selfish if you don't express what's going on in your life and give people the opportunity to help you if you need help. And so I just want you to know that like if you reach out asking for advice, if you reach out asking for something, um, that's the greatest gift that you could give me. It gives me an opportunity to hopefully take what I've gone through and the experiences I have in a way that may benefit your life or the people around you. Um so LinkedIn, email, text, whatever, just send me a message and I'll do everything in my power to try and help if I can. Um, you know, whether that's life, whether that's work, whether that's a connection to a financial planner, um, or whether it's a question about real estate. Uh, you know, again, if you have an opportunity to buy a home and that's something that you're interested in and you want, you know, I'd love to help. Especially if you're in San Diego, I'd love to actually represent you in the sale of your home. But even if it's anywhere in the nation, we can talk about it. We can um talk through everything and just make sure you're making a good decision. Again, I'm a really bad real estate agent production-wise. I I talk a lot of people out of buying homes if I think it might, if they're if they might be a the bad decision for them, the wrong decision. Buying a home is not innately a good thing. Like it makes sense when it's right for you at that phase of your life. Buying a home at the right time, at the right price, in the right area, in the right moment of your life, that's a beautiful thing. Otherwise, it can be a liability. So, um, anyway, if I can be a resource for you, please reach out. Uh, it would mean the world to me to get the opportunity to do that. Otherwise, congratulations. Uh, I hope you're getting ready for graduation and commissioning and uh best of luck in the fleet, fair winds, following seas. Take it easy, y'all. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Academy Insider Podcast. I really hope you liked it, enjoyed it, and learned something during this time. If you did, please feel free to like and subscribe or leave a comment about the episode. We really appreciate it to hear your feedback about everything and continue to make Academy Insider an amazing service that guides, serves, and supports midshipmen, future midshipmen, and their families. Thank you.