You Are Not A Frog

Episode 75 - How to Escape the Drama Triangle and Stop Rescuing People

April 20, 2021 Dr Rachel Morris Episode 75
You Are Not A Frog
Episode 75 - How to Escape the Drama Triangle and Stop Rescuing People
Show Notes Chapter Markers
In this episode, Annie Hanekom chats with Rachel about how we need to step out of the drama triangle to have a better and healthier relationship with our colleagues.

Episode Highlights

[04:28] Enneagram Type 2 or The Rescuer

  • In its simplest form, an Enneagram is a profiling tool.
[06:09] The Rescuer in Its Truest Form

  • Type 2s or The Rescuers are motivated by the need to feel accepted, loved and included.
[08:24] What Becomes Problematic in Being a Type 2

  • Helping for too long might form resentment and impatience.
  • Inherent in the term ‘The Rescuer’ is a sense of superiority for those who do the rescuing and inferiority to those who are being rescued.
[12:00] Understanding the Drama Triangle

  • The whole drama triangle and sliding between the roles of rescuer, victim, and persecutor is a confusing slippery slope.
  • Our behaviour is a reaction to the kind of role we assume or assigned to us.
[18:39] How to Recognise the Role You’re Taking

  • Create pauses in your day-to-day schedule to give yourself some ‘me time’.
  • You’re giving yourself a new sense of clarity.
[24:04] Pausing and Taking Control

  • When we’re busy, we fall into the default of assuming these roles.
  • When we find peace in our minds, we can take control of what’s taking place.
[27:36] Stepping Out of the Drama Triangle 

  • Acknowledge the role you’re assuming in the drama triangle.
  • Look for other options and shift the roles.
[27:36] Taking the Coaching Approach

  • You’re helping the person sort out their problems and not taking their problems as your own.
[33:27] Language and Shifting Roles

  • We can change our roles for the better with the language that we use.
  • Using power language can empower you and puts you in a position of choice.
[41:29] Shifting the Mindset in Tricky Situations

  • Taking a pause will be helpful in tricky situations.
  • Refrain from assessing and doing a deep reflection when we are unhappy because it won’t do well.
[45:19] Getting into That Coach Role

  • They’ll form a habit of asking themselves about their options rather than taking the role of the victim.
[50:40] Annie’s Tips to Get Out of the Drama Triangle 

  • Acknowledge what you’re going through. Give yourself time to process things.
  • Don’t beat yourself up.
  • Watch your language.
  • Before you give advice, ask the other person what they think.
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Podcast Links

Support the show (https://youarenotafrog.com)
The Rescuer in Its Truest Form
What Becomes Problematic in Being a Type 2
Understanding the Drama Triangle
How to Recognise the Role You’re Taking
Pausing and Taking Control
Stepping Out of the Drama Triangle
Taking the Coaching Approach
Language and Shifting Roles
Shifting the Mindset in Tricky Situations
Getting into That Coach Role
Annie’s Tips to Get Out of the Drama Triangle